Jump to new as of March 21, 2000
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Jump to new as of March 27, 2000

Posted on Saturday, 4 March 2000, at 3 : 02 p.m.

To Brighton, to Brighton, to seek out a man
laughing and flirting is clearly her plan.
To Brighton, to Brighton, a man soon to find,
Wickham she'll marry, it's clear in her mind.
Based on "To market, to market..."

Little Miss Kitty, looking so pretty,
stamping her foot in a huff.
Along came a soldier who made her feel bolder,
until Mr. B. said, "Enough!"
Based on "Little Miss Muffet"

Mary had a little book, little book, little book,
Mary had a little book, which she did never hide.
And everywhere that Mary went, Mary went, Mary went,
and everywhere that Mary went, the book was by her side.
Based on "Mary Had a Little Lamb"

Posted on Tuesday, 14 March 2000, at 7 : 59 p.m.

Dear Mrs. Bennet
lived in a shoe,
with so many daughters
and suitors so few.

She begged and she pleaded
but to no avail,
Lizzy rejected
and Collins turned tail.

He married dear Charlotte
while our Lizzy fumed,
yet she didn't want him,
"a marriage entombed."

Thus, dear Mrs. Bennet,
annoyed with him so,
fawned then upon Wickham
in her eyes to glow.

To marry sweet Lydia,
now one daughter wed
Then, like the old woman,
she sent them to bed!

Based on "The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe"

Posted on Friday, 17 March 2000, at 5 : 03 p.m.

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
Darcy's so proud and aloof.

He told Mr. Bingley that he wouldn't tarry
to dance with our Lizzy, and never to marry.
He said she was barely a tolerable beauty,
so what could our poor Lizzy do?

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
Could Darcy admit he was wrong?

She listened and listened to what he was saying
the pride and the arrogance he was conveying.
She thought he was quite a detestable person,
but Lizzy could not turn away.

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
Poor Lizzy is quite at a loss.

At Rosings, she found that he viewed her more sweetly
his feelings were changing, yes, changing completely.
She felt the attraction, and though she did fight it,
our Lizzy was falling in love.

Oh, dear, what can the matter be?
Dear, dear, what can the matter be?
Oh, dear, what can the matter be,
soon they'll be friends, and much more!

Posted on Monday, 20 March 2000, at 11 : 15 a.m.

Three little sisters
who married their misters,
Lydia, Lizzy and Jane.

Leaving just two
who cried, "Boo-hoo,"
Kitty and Mary, plain.

Kitty did pout
while Mary, no doubt,
buried her nose in a book

deciding that she,
so obviously
would not, at a man, take a look.

Three little sisters,
only two with their misters,
were happy as happy could be.

While the third little one,
her accomplishment done,
was stuck with her mister, and he

WAS STUCK WITH HER AS WELL!
(loosely based on Three Little Kittens)

Posted on Wednesday, 22 March 2000, at 11 : 24 p.m.

Oh where, oh where has our Collins gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
Married to Charlotte before e'er long
in Lady de Bourgh's company.

Oh where, oh where can we find him now?
Do you think he's full of great glee?
Well of course he is, 'cause he took a vow
of absolute fidelity.

Does he wag his tail the way he should
in utter subserviency?
Well, there is no doubt what he's all about
as he acts so officiously.

Oh where, oh where has our Collins gone?
Oh where, oh where can he be?
Dispensing advice which is probably wrong
In Lady de Bourgh's company.

(with apologies to 'My Little Dog')

Posted on Monday, 27 March 2000, at 11 : 08 a.m.

Hickory, dickory, dock,
Mrs. B looks at the clock.
The clock strikes one,
married daughters are none,
Lydia needs a new frock.

Hickory, dickory, do,
Suitors appear to be few.
The clock strikes three,
where can the men be?
Mrs. B hasn't a clue.

Hickory, dickory, di,
Mrs. B gives a huge sigh.
The clock strikes five,
land-sakes, alive!
there's no time to ask herself why.

Hickory, dickory, day,
there doesn't seem much else to say.
The clock strikes six,
she's in a great fix,
The suitors have all run away!