Beginning, Section II
Part 1
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a younger sister will be in the shadow of another sister. However, little is known of the thoughts of this sister and what her true personality will be when the shadow is removed.
*THUMP* a copy of Fordyce's Sermons hit the wall.
*WHACK* a bonnet hit the wall.
*CLINK* a locket hit the wall.
*WHOOSH* a frock sailed across the room and settled in a heap on the floor.
The last few months had been trying for me, firstly the regiment had come to Meryton and Lydia had been the officers beloved, secondly the regiment had left, taking Lydia with them, thirdly Lydia had sent me letters about the wonderful time she was having and how Mr. Wickham had been paying special attention to her, fourthly Lydia had eloped and everyone had been angry with me about it (can you believe it!) and fifthly because of Papa I was under strict supervision. Prove to me that you have spent 10 minutes of today in a rational manner!!!! And what pray, constitutes a rational manner?
So it was in the most lady like way one can with a pillow over their face and lying on a bed, I began screaming. After a minute or two this didn't seem enough so I began kicking my legs in the air.
It simply wasn't fair!!! No balls, no parties, no Lydia!! How would I stand it, I had always had Lydia to follow, but now she was banished to the north. Why could I not be married?
So to vent my frustrations, I screamed some more. Suddenly the pillow was wrenched from my face and I found myself looking at the shocked faces of my elder sisters.
"Kitty!!!!" exclaimed Lizzy.
"Are you quite well? Would you like me to fetch you some tea?" soothed Jane.
"I'm perfectly well, please, leave me alone!!" I said, grabbing the pillow off Lizzy while picking up a book in the hope they would think I was going to read. Jane had some sense and acceded to my request and hurried out of the room,. Lizzy, however, hovered around the door as if making up her mind about something.
I looked at the book's title, it was one of Lydia's old diaries that she had forgotten. ARRGH!! in disgust I threw it across the room *THUMP* narrowly missing Lizzy. Lizzy quietly picked up my books, dress and bonnet and placed them on the dresser.
"You have been out of spirits lately, whatever is the matter?" questioned Lizzy.
Wasn't it perfectly obvious? Lydia has a husband, she is a wife, she is in Newcastle having adventures and I am stuck here. Instead I replied "Lydia is far away with a new life. A fun new life." The last bit just slid off my tongue before I could catch it.
"FUN!! She couldn't be having fun with Mr. Wickham, Lydia did a very silly thing eloping with Mr. Wickham. Kitty I know you think ..........." Blah blah blah blah blah, I should have never had said that, now she would lecture me for hours!!
Suddenly Lizzy was shaking me and asking me if I wanted to get married.
"Of course I do!!" I replied sharply.
"Why would any man want to marry you, Kitty?
"What!?!?!" I cried indignantly. How could my sister say such a thing!
"You haven't any money, you are pretty but not beautiful, you aren't accomplished at anything and you have an empty head. What in that would seriously attract a man. You will have to elope and bring disgrace on our family, like Lydia did. If you paid attention to anything but yourself and red coats you would know that eloping and flirting is damaging to reputations and not only your own."
I was shocked to say the least, Lizzy had never yelled at me like this in my life, to be sure we were never really close but really, what ever was wrong with Lizzy?? Suddenly Lizzy flew out of the room, leaving me to be quite puzzled over what she had said. I began to suspect it was not I who was out of humour. But what would be upsetting Lizzy, she couldn't be upset about Lydia still, maybe she was still in love with Mr. Wickham!!! That had to be it, but no, that idea didn't sit right with me but she couldn't be in love with anyone else, or could she?
Anyway where was I? Pondering over Lizzy's bad humour, well I soon gave up on that because she was scrupulously nice to me for the next while and I could not find the reason for her bad humour at all. Did I tell you the reason for my behaviour? No? well I had received a short missive from Lydia.
The letter, to begin with was quite welcome because Mama was in a flap about Mr. Bingley returning. Mr. Bingley was Jane's love, who never proposed to her and left Jane heartbroken (Lydia didn't think she was but I could tell). Anyway, he was a charming man, but I suppose he doesn't hold a candle to what regimentals can do to a man.
Thinking about that, what exactly does regimentals do to a man? Lydia took a furious fancy to them and well, I suppose I got swept up in her passion. Either way, not all officers are handsome and not all gentlemen are plain. La! but I'm not sticking to the point, first I was talking of Lydia, then Bingley now men in general!!
I will deal with Mr. Bingley first, I'm sure Jane is in love with him (even though he jilted her) and even if she isn't, Mama has decreed that she will marry him. (And you don't argue with Mama, unless you are Lizzy.) So poor Jane has all Mama's attention but that does not mean the rest of us are free from her enthusiasm.
Now on to Lydia's letter, it was a very short letter simply stating she was safe in Newcastle at a 'very comfortable establishment' - her words not mine. She then went on to describe the joys of the officers, the officers wives, Wickham and the parties, (in that order).
To be honest it was worse than her Brighton letters, how she managed to squash so much fun in such a small space I will never know. Anyway, I was so jealous that ................well you already know my actions!! To top it off she invited me to come visit her at the earliest opportunity and Papa will never let me go. I was not going to even mention it to Papa, not after that Eastbourne comment, but Mama also had a letter from Lydia. So to cut a long story short, it was a resounding answer in the negative. (Along with a stern lecture to both Mama and I - do not ask me to repeat it for I was not paying the slightest attention and I'm sure Mama was sleeping).
Three days after the Bingleys return to Hertfordshire we were all gathered in downstairs. And Mama was scolding Papa for not visiting Mr. Bingley, so I walked over to the window and who do you think I saw, Mr. Bingley!
"Mama, Mama look, I think he is coming!!" Mama rushed to the window and then back to Jane, telling her what to do.
"Who is that with him?" I exclaimed. To which Mama absently replied. "Lord, I don't know some acquaintance I suppose."
"It looks like that man who used to be with him before. Mr. oh-what's-his-name, you know that tall proud one." What was his name? He never spoke two words together to me while he was in the neighbourhood before.
"Mr. Darcy!!!" Mama exclaimed then went off on a tangent proclaiming her dislike for him. I had just turned around and what do you think I saw? Lizzy looking most uncomfortable!! I should think that Jane would be the distressed one. As they entered, Mama ran to her chair to make it look as though she hadn't foreseen their arrival at all.
Oh the reception Mama gave Mr. Bingley! Comparing it to Mr. Darcy's reception! I missed part of the conversation because I had to ring the bell for tea, but I did notice that Mr. Darcy looked between Jane and Bingley quite a lot, and also at Lizzy!! Lizzy looked at him too but only when he wasn't looking at her, it was most unusual. Then Mama made a rather scathing remark about Mr. Darcy, who by the way treated poor Wickham quite ill, to which Lizzy looked so shocked!
"Do you mean to stay long in the neighbourhood on this visit?" Lizzy asked not sounding at all herself to which he replied.
"Our plans are not yet firmly settled, (glance at Mr. Darcy, why would he look at Mr. Darcy?) but I hope we shall stay some weeks (large pause, eyes on Jane), I hope very much we will stay for a few weeks, (adoring look at Jane, then she smiled at him) at the very least." Bingley then just sat there looking like a wet puppy,
The conversation went on, I did not pay much attention, I was to busy observing. Of Jane and Bingley one could not err, they were very obviously still in love. Mr. Darcy, stood at the window, being most haughty and anytime Mama said anything rather rude towards him (she really does not like him so it was often) Lizzy looked completely distressed. Could Lizzy like Mr. Darcy?
Part II
The rest of the visit passed quickly, nobody spoke a word to either Mary or I. Mary read her book while I observed the events. I must say by the end, I knew that Bingley and Jane would be engaged within a week, with a real courtship and wedding, no eloping for Jane! As for the other couple I mentioned, they really confused me, as they didn't speak to each other except for formalities.
After the gentlemen departed, Jane and Lizzy took a walk outside together. I can only imagine what they were talking of. Lizzy, I imagine was professing her deep love for Mr. Darcy, Jane was probably talking of whether she would have a long or short veil and whether they would journey to London or stay at Netherfield. It is simply not fair that my two elder sisters are on the verge of marrying!
I wanted to wear my new locket the next morning and I hunted and hunted for it, but I do not know what happened to it. I remember it sailing through the air, but it has vanished completely! Hearing Mama out in the passage, making some fuss, I went out to ask her.
"Mama, Mama where is my new locket that Lydia bought me from London?" Mama was flapping down the hall and I judged that she was not in a state of mind to help me. I spied Mary walking towards me.
"Mary have you seen my new locket?"
"I should not know it if I did see it for I care nothing for such baubles." With that Mary stalked off, unhelpful girl. I do not see why she should be still in such a miff, it is not my fault that her Fordyce's Sermons were damaged, such a tedious book should have been made of sterner stuff.
Jane appeared in the hallway, half undressed trying to soothe Mama about something. It appears that Mr. Bingley is on his way here and Jane is not ready to receive him.
"Let Kitty go down, she is forwarder than any of us" Jane said. That should be fun! I can receive Mr. Bingley and he might even have a ring with him!!!!
"Hang Kitty, what is she do with it" Mama exclaimed crossly. That is simply not fair! Why does Mama spoil all my fun? So I left them all, to go search for my locket.
I could not find it so I had to go downstairs without it. Mr. Bingley bought as news that Mr. Darcy had gone to town for some days, Poor Lizzy! but she did not seem that perturbed about it. When we were all seated (Jane and Bingley looking most uncomfortable), Mama started winking at me, and nodding her head towards Jane and Bingley. Yes, Mama I do realise that you want them to be left alone, he is hardly likely to profess his love in front of all of us, but why on earth are you winking at me like that, I can't just leave, it would be rude. (plus I really want to stay). She wouldn't stop winking at me, Lizzy who was to my left noticed and looked most uncomfortable but she was determined to be obtuse, Mary ......well Mary is Mary.
"What's the matter, Mama? Why do you keep winking at me? What am I to do?" Hopefully she will stop it now.
"Wink at you! Why should I wink at you, what a notion! Why would I be winking at my own daughter pray?" What! You are in the habit of winking at other people's daughters?
Mama looked at me and then proceeded in what she thought was quite a nonchalant manner, "I do have something, I would speak to you about, and you too Mary". And with that stroke of brilliance we quitted the room. Mama even had Hill, go fetch Lizzy.
We all retired to Mama's sitting room and Lizzy kept asking if she could go down and be with Jane, because apparently she had promised to stay with her! Didn't Jane after all that want to be Mr. Bingley's wife? However, when Lizzy was finally allowed to go downstairs, it was all over and Jane was to become Mrs. Bingley. So, I suppose Jane had a change of heart, or maybe she was just scared, though why anyone would be scared of a marriage proposal I do not know.
I congratulated my sister the best I could without showing her how jealous I was of her, not because of Mr. Bingley, you must understand but because of the marriage part. Mama was beside her self, she was praising herself on how well she had handled the whole affair, I do not understand this because I do not see how Mama had anything to do with the affair. Mr. Bingley left Jane then refused to see her in London and now he returned to Longbourn to ask her to marry him. So I do not see how Mama thinks she had anything to do with the event.
But this is not the point, everyone in the household was very pleased for Jane, even Mary managed to say something nice, without quoting any of her tedious books. So the next few days passed quietly, without any great momentous occasions, except for one.
"Mama, look the most enormous carriage is pulling up!" I cried looking out of the window. Lizzy and Mama were also present in the room. I do not think any of us could guess who the carriage to belong to, the livery was completely unknown.
Then Hill appeared, announcing "Lady Catherine De Bourgh." The said Lady then swept into the room surveying all around her. The distaste was emanating off her, filling the room with a pungent odour and her glare was like a piercing sword, so I kept my eyes firmly on the ground. She addressed all her comments to Lizzy. Two I particularly liked were,
"That I suppose is your Mother" and "That I suppose is one of your sisters." To the latter, Mama started rambling on about how Lydia was recently married. Since when does a comment about me, turn into being related to Lydia?
Anyway, Lady Catherine, looked haughty and practically forced Lizzy into taking a walk in the garden with her. A little while later Lizzy returned flustered and Lady Catherine had left, without saying goodbye to any of us. I found it most strange.
So, the next few days, passed relatively calmly, (except for that visit), Mary insisted on playing for Mr. Bingley, causing Mr. Bingley to insist on walking out with Jane quite a lot. Leaving me to either, fix up a bonnet or listen to Mary. (Lizzy was often busy entertaining either Jane or Bingley when the other was not present.) Listening to Mary was out of the question, I value my hearing too much, and fixing bonnets reminded me that I had no where to wear them. So I took up reading, not tedious books like Mary but more interesting ones. I started to read Shakespeare, I could not make head nor tail of it at first and was tempted to start throwing books again, but I persevered. When I finally understood the plot and what was being said, I felt as though I had accomplished something and that made me feel good.
So passed the days, until Mr. Bingley called!!!!!!(Yes, I know he has been doing this for the past 10 days, but in a few more words you will see why this visit was exciting!!) Anyway Mr. Bingley brought MR DARCY with him, he had finished his business in London. I looked at Lizzy and then at Mr. Darcy and well they looked uncomfortable, or is it my imagination? I was at a loss to figure out how I was to find out if there was any affection between them. This was until Mr. Bingley spoke.
"It's a fine day, why don't we all take a walk?" He asked, could he be in Mr. Darcy's confidence?
I was obliged to join them, as Mama practically, pushed me out the door, so that 'poor Lizzy wouldn't have to talk to that odious Mr. Darcy.'
So I did walk with them, not saying anything, partly because I was thinking of ways to leave them alone, and partly because I was in awe of Mr. Darcy. Finally, I spied the lane way that led to Lucas Lodge. AHA! an idea struck me.
"Lizzy, do you mind if I run down the lane here to call on Maria Lucas?" Lizzy had no objection (of course she wouldn't), so off I went. When I was a fair way down the lane I turned around and saw........ Mr. Darcy and Lizzy standing still talking to one another. I was so pleased with myself. (What am I saying, he is an odious man who hurt poor Wickham and I do not want to be a matchmaker, matchmaking is for old spinsters.)
Part III
My visit to Maria lasted only a short while, then I practically ran home to hear the news, I ran so fast, my bonnet flew off my head and landed in a puddle. Consequently I arrived home very breathless, with the bottom of my dress drenched and demanding to know how everybody was.
Jane looked shocked and asked where Lizzy and Mr. Darcy were as they hadn't returned home. So I had to explain I had left them, and had visited Lucas Lodge. Papa gave me some very disapproving looks (I think my appearance was rather shocking) so I retreated upstairs. By the time I looked respectable enough to go back downstairs, Mr. Darcy and Lizzy had returned and the gentlemen had taken their leave. I could have stamped my feet, in fact I think I did because Papa came out of his library looked at me over his glasses, sighed and closed the door very firmly.
That night Jane and Lizzy had a private conference. I wish I could have been there. The next morning I asked Lizzy what had been so pressing for her to discuss with Jane. (Confide in me, confide in me) but she simply said Jane's wedding. Oooh!!!
Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy arrived the next morning for Bingley's usual visit. (All the while they were coming up the drive way, Mama was abusing Mr. Darcy for coming and that Lizzy had to keep him out of Bingley's way ~ how amusing!!).
"I advise Mr. Darcy, Lizzy and Kitty to walk to Oakham Mount this morning. It's a nice long walk and Mr. Darcy has never seen the view." Mama said to the group when the gentlemen had joined us.
Arrgh! How was I supposed to leave them alone walking to Oakham Mount, Lucas Lodge is not on the way there. My distress must have shown for Mr. Bingley replied,
"It may do very well for the others, but I am sure it will be too much for Kitty. Won't it Kitty?" Oh remind me to hug the man.
"Yes, I would much rather stay at home" I smiled at Mr. Bingley. So off Mr. Darcy and Lizzy went. Jane and Bingley went outside and I went upstairs to read another book I am really becoming addicted to these books! Better books than matchmaking at least.
That evening, Papa withdrew to the Library and Mr. Darcy followed! Triumph! What am I talking of? It isn't my triumph, oh no!! I'm turning into Mama. Thoroughly ashamed of myself I sat with Lizzy, she was doing some work, and I was examining my fingernails, hmmmm I wonder if they are not too long? Mr. Darcy returned from the library, and came over to Lizzy to 'look at her work'. I hope Mr. Darcy never decides to take the stage for he is a terrible actor. He then thought he was being clever by whispering something at Lizzy unfortunately I think all of England could have heard what he was saying, except that I was the only one who heard because I was the only unoccupied person in the room. He was telling her, not of his everlasting love, but that Papa wanted to see Lizzy. I couldn't resist smirking at Mr. Darcy, he looked kind of shocked and moved away quickly.
That night, after the gentlemen had left, I said an extra special goodbye to Mr. Darcy, I asked him what his first name was!!! The expression on his face, was priceless, I do not think he thinks much of me. Anyway, I raced back up stairs to hear Mama shrieking away in her dressing room. I positioned myself in the hallway, Lizzy retreated from Mama's room only to be accosted by me.
"Lizzy, you and Mr. Darcy will be very happy, though you must have forgiven him for hurting Mr. Wickham or maybe he didn't hurt him that badly. Though Lizzy, you can never call him Fitzwilliam. Promise me you will never call him Fitzwilliam but don't call him Mr. Darcy! He proposed when I left you to call on Maria, didn't he? I knew he would!"
With that I gave her my biggest hug and raced to my room. I can still hear her struggling for words.
"Kitty?...What?..........Fitzwilliam.......Maria.......Propose?.........Wickham?"
After some time Lizzy came to my bedroom, and sat on my bed still looking wondrously at me.
"How on earth did you know Kitty?" she questioned, peering at me, obviously hoping that the answer would be written on me.
"You do not think your younger sister has powers of observation and deduction? Or am I too empty-headed for that?" I smiled at her while I said this, which confused her more, she was not sure if I was being serious.
"Kitty, who ever said you were empty-headed?"
"You did, in a fit of anger some time ago. I think it was then that I worked out you must be in love. But the idea of who did not come until Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley called here. I confess, I left you alone with him in the hope that he would declare his affection."
Lizzy flung herself back on the bed and started to laugh. Why ever was she laughing? I moved over to her and gave her my most disapproving look, but this caused her to laugh even more.
"Matchmaker, Matchmaker ......"sang Lizzy between her laughter. Oooh!!! So I did what any sensible girl would do, I hit her with my pillow.
"Lizzy, I am not a matchmaker, stop it!!!!" I said repeatedly pounding her. She retaliated with a perfect blow to my head. This meant war!!!. An onlooker onto the scene would have seen two perfectly grown women, pounding each other with pillows, while shrieking with laughter.
"Matchmaking!! Kitty, you take after Mama!!!!" cried Lizzy dodging a well aimed cushion.
"Oh my poor nerves!!!!" I replied as a pillow was flung in my direction. That response caused much more laughter. Why could I not be this close to Lizzy all the time?
"MY POOR NERVES, KITTY HAVE SOME COMPASSION ON MY POOR NERVES!! I HAVE SUCH TREMBLINGS AND FLUTTERINGS!!! JANE I FEEL MY FAINTNESS COMING UPON ME!!!! GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!"
With this dramatic entrance, Mama, steeled herself against the door frame, with Jane hovering behind her. Lizzy and I dropped the pillows and tried to look as innocent as possible. Mama, suitably recovered swept into the room.
"Kitty, how could you lead poor Lizzy astray if Mr. Darcy hears about this he will not want to marry her!!!! Oh my poor nerves!" Mama flung herself down in a seat and looked very distressed.
"Oh mama, do not worry, if Mr. Darcy should hear of this, I'm sure Kitty will fix everything, she is so adept at these sorts of things." Lizzy said this with a perfectly straight face. Mama looked at her shocked, Jane looked confused and Mary who had just happened upon this scene looked totally bewildered.
"Kitty? What has Kitty got to do with anything? Explain yourself child!" Mama exclaimed, just as I couldn't keep my countenance any more and I sank onto my bed laughing as hard as I possibly could. Lizzy soon joined in the laughing. Mama and the rest of them, left the room and Mama went to Papa for I heard her down the passage.
"Mr. Bennet we shall all be ruined. Kitty and Lizzy have lost their senses!!"
I wish I had not heard Papa's reply for it stopped my good humour dead in its tracks.
"Lizzy lost her senses? Nonsense! And when did Kitty have any to lose?"
I sat up, looking at Lizzy, she smiled back at me sat up and looked me straight in the eye.
"Kitty, seriously I have something to tell you, it is about Mr. Wickham, this isn't the sort of thing to take lightly Kitty. Do you have discretion? For this is a topic to be discreet about for Lydia and another's sake."
I replied that I could be trusted, and felt rather good about myself because I was being entrusted with a secret. She then proceeded to tell me all about Mr. Wickham's past, which I will not repeat for I have learned discretion. All I can say is I had no idea that he could be so shocking! He is such an amiable man, and although I already knew of debts of honour, I had not realised what it meant. And as for Ramsgate, eloping is all very well but to be seduced for your money? I am lucky in that regard, if someone wants to elope with me, I know it will be for love not money. But I have to disagree with Lizzy, surely Wickham would have married her sometime in London without Mr. Darcy's help?
Part IV
The next few days passed, rather uneventfully, except that Mama was in bad humour with me and Mr. Darcy seemed to be avoiding me. I must say he is a disagreeable man, to be avoiding me so. I think it perfectly proper for me to want to know my future brother's name. Even if it is Fitzwilliam, I mean it is a very formal name isn't it?
You can't go around calling someone Fitzwilliam all the time, it would be so stiff and rigid!! But Fitz, sounds too chummy, something men would call each other and I do not want to sound like a man, it would make other men forget I was a woman. And William, the connections to Mr Collins would make anyone shudder, Will sounds like you wish him to be dead and Liam, I suppose there isn't anything wrong with Liam, but that sounds altogether too familiar. I guess he will have to be Mr. Darcy. Charles on the other hand is a wonderful name, so is George, nothing wrong with either of them!
I think it most silly for Mr. Darcy to be behaving as though I have the plague and anytime he does see me it's Nod of head, 'Miss Bennet' bow scrape hurriedly to nearest exit. Charles at least calls me Kitty and has promised at least one ball at Netherfield after his marriage, he at least knows how to behave to a future sister!
So it wasn't until a few mornings later, that anything at all interesting happened.
The morning was shocking, Sarah didn't attend to me at all, neither did any of the other maids. I do not know where they were but hearing voices in the direction of Mama, Jane and Lizzy's chambers I think I can hazard a guess. I could have waited for what could have been centuries, (No, Jane, I think this style would suit you better. Lizzy you can't have your hair like that, it's a wedding!!) or I could do my hair myself.
Twenty minutes later, I had piled my hair up on top of my head countless number of times but the result was always the same. It looked as though a rat had decided to make it's nest in my hair. I gave up and went down stairs. I made my way to the parlour but I realised that the gentlemen had probably arrived, so I turned back and decided to visit the library.
I had left my current book in the library, Shakespeare's "A Midsummer Nights Dream". I could not find it, I was sure I had left it on this small table, maybe it had fallen down somewhere in the chair. I searched through the cushions, when I heard a cough. I practically jumped into the air, (note: rat hairstyle doesn't like swift movements) and turned, Mr. Darcy was sitting in one of the seats looking at me. What on earth does he mean to sit concealed in our library?
He gave me a look that showed he was displeased, "Your sisters are not here, Miss Bennet."
What on earth does he think I'm doing, looking for Lizzy down a sofa??? "Yes, I have eyes Mr. Darcy and I do not think my sisters could fall down the back of a chair, sir, but I do not know what your sister is in the habit of doing. "
Oh dear, Miss Darcy and Mr. Wickham, oh dear I've said it now. Then I saw he had a book in his hand, my book, and the bookmark was taken out, how dare he! I moved over to where he was sitting and snatched the book out of his hand I know it wasn't good manners, but my morning had just been dreadful.
Mr. Darcy, stood up abruptly and started to leave, his countenance plainly showed what he was thinking 'insufferable girl'. So I returned my bookmark to its proper place and started to read.
"Miss Bennet, you were reading that?"
"Yes sir, I was re-reading it."
"Well my apologies for disturbing your place"
"Accepted"
"You often read Shakespeare?"
"I have read a few of his plays."
Mr. Darcy sat back down in the chair next to mine. "This isn't his best work but it is most enjoyable. Tell me, did you get your matchmaking ideas from Puck?"
Matchmaking? I was horrified, who had ever told him that!?! "Yes, Elizabeth told me, about your scheme, very well played out I thought, I am much indebted to you I'm sure."
"Elizabeth!!!" He is engaged to her and he is calling her Elizabeth but with a name like Fitzwilliam he cannot understand nicknames.
"Yes, you do not think she should tell me such things?"
"No, it is not that, you call her Elizabeth. Everyone calls her Lizzy or by some other nickname."
"Like yours, is Kitty? Well I think Puck is a better name for you!"
"Well sir, if I am Puck, then you must be Oberon, for you always want your own way!!"
"Very well, that would make Elizabeth my Titania and that is fine by me. So who would be the mortals?"
"Well, Jane would be Hermia and Charles, Lysander, for they are true love. I do not know who Helena and Demetrius would be, perhaps you could know."
"Well Helena would have to be my fair sister, and Demetrius................." he suddenly coloured and I know what he was thinking.
"is some person unknown, whose identity will reveal itself, in several years perhaps when your sister is out."
"Yes, yes a person unknown..... So who is left for us to decide?" Mr. Darcy then smiled, he is a good sort of person I must admit, too proud and stiff for my liking, but when he thaws I think he will be a good brother figure. Maybe he will throw a ball for me at Pemberley? But this isn't thinking of characters is it? I was scanning my brain for who was left when the door flung open.
"Mr. Darcy, how good it is to see your estimable personage, Your most amiable and condescending..................." He got no further for I screamed.
"Bottom!!!" and couldn't stop laughing. Mr. Darcy quickly turned my direction and I saw even he was looking most amused. Between laughs, I whispered to him "Methought I was enamoured of an ass!!" (*) that was all I could say between coughs and shrieks. Mr. Darcy stonily looked ahead. Charlotte, poor Charlotte, looked bewildered, but had seen my book and I think she may have guessed what I found most amusing. Lizzy and Jane who had just come down stairs, looked horrified that I would be making such a display. I simply had to get out of there otherwise I would die, I ran to the stairs, as I ascended, I looked back down. Mr. Darcy was leaving the library and was saying to Lizzy he needed a walk. Lizzy looked pained for she obviously thought him in a temper, but I heard him as soon as he had quitted the house, dissolving into a fit of laughter. Hearing him laugh, started me off again, so I fled to my room.
But I had no rest there, once I had composed myself, I thought of Charlotte. She was a good person, she made a stupid stupid mistake, but should I make her feel less a person because of it? I decided to go down and make my apologies, however I passed a mirror and decided the apology could wait.
I looked dreadful, so I called for a maid. Sarah came directly and did my hair properly but simply and then rushed away again. So it was about half an hour later that I descended, this time I went directly to the parlour. Mr. Darcy and Lizzy were not there neither was Mary, Jane and Charles were talking to Mr. Collins and Mama, Charlotte sat alone. I sat next to Charlotte.
"You must let me apologise, for my behaviour, if I caused you pain, I am sorry"
"What ever do you mean Kitty?" She said this with her face to the ground, so I know that she knew what I was talking about.
"Charlotte, I know you are not obtuse. If it cheers you any, I am Puck, known for my mischievous and matchmaking ways." I hope saying that word cheers her up.
"Puck? It suits you, just like ..................." I know she was going to say, Bottom suits my husband!!"
"Give me your hands, if we be friends, and Robin shall make amends.**" Charlotte, placed her hands in mine and smiled at me. I was glad that I had sorted out this mess. Then an unwelcome interruption from Bottom (he will always be Bottom to me).
"My dear Miss Bennet." (when have I been your anything?) "I see you are well recovered, I just hope you did not injure yourself in the opinion of Mr. Darcy, you must remember what a fortunate alliance it will be." How on earth could he say something like that in front of Jane? And Charles who happens to be Mr. Darcy's dearest friend?
"Thank you B.... Mr. Collins, I will remember that and I'm sure Obe.....Mr. Darcy will forgive me."
"Kitty! What are you talking of, Mr. Darcy is not Old!!!" Mama exclaimed, unfortunately just as Mr. Darcy and Lizzy returned from their walk. Darcy (I will dispense with the Mr., even if I can't think of a suitable nickname), looked at me strangely but when I mouthed 'Oberon' at him he understood and sat down to talk to Lizzy.
Mama glared at me, and proceeded to continue talking to Jane, but decided to share her thoughts with the rest of us.
"So I think, six weeks is a long enough period of time for an engagement, Jane, We shall have to go to London for your trousseaus, of course..................." Oooh London, I wonder if Papa would let me go to London?
"What do you say to that Kitty?" Mama spoke in my direction. What is she talking about? I looked around to see if I could ascertain what she meant.
"I think Kitty, would very much like to visit London, wouldn't you Kitty" said Lizzy, looking at me still a bit strangely, I do not know if she has been told about the Bottom incident.
"Oh London, I would love to visit London!" Please, Please let Papa decide I can go to London. Maybe I can replace Lydia's present, so she will never know I lost it.
"Yes, Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley can introduce you to their friends (suggestive waggle of eyebrows)" Mama replied, smiling at the two gentlemen.
"Ah, but I believe, your cousins are making us a visit, Mr. Darcy" continued Mama.
"Oh, Viscount Ashbourne and Colonel Fitzwilliam? Mrs. Bennet, you will understand the great condescension and affability of these two gentlemen when you see them. It is a great honour that they have decided to visit and pay their respects to their future cousin!" Respects, now why does that sound as though Lizzy has died?
Bottom/Collins continued in this manner for quite sometime, until everyone, except Mama, had this glazed look in their eyes. Charlotte, then jogged out of her daydream, reminded him that they had to hurry to dine with Sir William. The Collins took their leave, and I took mine because Mama eyed me and I was sure she was about to ask, in my opinion, totally unnecessary questions.
I wondered what Viscount Ashbourne would be like? Like his cousin or like his brother, who Lizzy said was very amiable. It was on these thoughts, and my book, that the rest of the day passed.
(* ~ Act 4 scene one)
(**Act five Scene one).
Part V
The next morning I took a walk, partly because I felt that the lovers needed some space, partly to avoid Mama, partly because I felt I was unfit but mostly because Mary was practising the piano and I do not need to explain that!
I usually walk to Meryton, or to Lucas Lodge but today I decided to take a walk in the woods. I did not know the woods very well, not like Lizzy, but I thought if I stayed to worn paths I could not err. I think I take that back, I soon got myself hopelessly lost, I could not even say what direction I had come in. I started to get very angry at myself for being so silly. Then when things could not get any worse (remember they always can) it started to rain.
Blow and Bother, why did I not see that is was going to rain and no it wasn't a slight shower it was a torrential downpour, Arrgh!!! Within minutes I was soaked, my bonnet ineffective, my hair untangled and I could not see in front of my face. I must have wandered around, for what seemed like hours, then I fell and slipped down a bank, landing in a pile at the bottom.
Luckily I was not hurt but to add to the wet, I was now muddy and wiping mud off ones dress only spreads it to one's hair, face, bonnet etc. The rain abated a bit, so that I could at least see in front of me, I was on a road, one I did not recognise though I must admit I had never seen the roads around Longbourn in the rain, so I might have recognised it if the weather was fine.
Suddenly, I heard a carriage approach, I began to wave to it and then stopped. The livery was very fine and I had never seen it before, then I became conscious of how dreadful I must have looked. The carriage stopped and a man approached, rather forcefully. So I stepped back, even lost in the rain looking like a beggar, I did not want to take a carriage with a ruffian. Unfortunately, I started to slip and the unknown stranger picked me up and carried me to his carriage, yelling to the driver.
"Hurry James to Netherfield"
The inside of the coach was very fine and here was me, Kitty Bennet, dripping water and mud all over it. The unknown man, who was rather attractive now that I look at him without the hindrance of rain, pulled off his coat and draped it around my shoulders.
"Thank you, sir for your kindness, I'm afraid I got lost and then in some distress. Did I hear you say you were going to Netherfield? You must be visiting Charles and O...Mr Darcy"
"Miss Bingley!!!!!?????!!!!!!" The unknown stranger exploded, obviously thinking by my affectionate speaking of Charles that I was his sister! The idea that Miss Bingley would walk anywhere, mixed with my distressful state made me hysterical. I could not stop a combination of laughing and crying.
"I'm Miss Bennet!!!"
"Oh, I'm deeply sorry but why are you not with Charles, surely he does not let his fiancée wander around in the rain??" Arrgh!! I'm not Jane!!!
"Kitty!! Kitty!!" Was all I could manage because now I started sneezing!!
"You were looking for your cat, Miss Bennet? Surely it will find it's own way home, you should not compromise your health, like this, Charles will be most displeased."
Oh stupid Man!! Why can't I stop crying/laughing/sneezing/shaking?
"I'm..................Kitty, Kitty" The carriage pulled up to Netherfield
"Here we are, Miss Bennet, Do not distress yourself further over your cat!" He opened the carriage door, calling for footmen, a doctor, a bed all in one breath. He then put me in his arms, quite strong actually and strode into the house.
"Ash!!! So good to see you again..................Good Heavens Miss Bennet!" Said Charles looking horrified.
"Ash, finally.................Puck!!!!" Mr. Darcy looked at me horrified. Why do people get that expression around me?
"I found the lovely Miss Bennet in the wood, looking for her cat" The man now known as Ash replied. Mr. Darcy took me from Ash and started up the staircase.
"What, looking for those magic flowers again, Puck? Who do you wish to fall in love now??" he asked me with a smile on his face. Oooh I could kick him if I wasn't feeling so wet and uncomfortable.
That dreadful Ash, now apparently thought that I was Elizabeth because of the familiar was Darcy was addressing me for he said to a footman. "Go to the kitchen, and prepare something for Miss Elizabeth." ARRGH!!!!!. Capital A Capital R Capital R Capital G Capital H. Spells ARRGH!
So it was with all the strength and composure I could, I screamed. "KITTY, my name is KITTY, I am NOT JANE, nor am I LIZZY and I most definitely am not MISS BINGLEY. KITTY KITTY KITTY!!"
Out of the corner of my eye I could see Ash look at me strangely and with a horrified expression, whether it was at my behaviour or his own, I could not ascertain for Darcy with some great presence of mind, raced up the stairs. I say great presence of mind because I heard the Ash character, yell from below,
"Miss Bennet, I am so terribly sorry, perhaps I should have left you..................."
What a completely dreadful man! Not so handsome after all I daresay. Anyway, I was soon stationed in one of Netherfield's chambers, with DRY clothes, untangled hair, a bowl of soup and a doctor came and pronounced me well but needing urgent rest. What on earth is urgent rest? Am I supposed to rest quickly or quickly rest? Anyway, I rested, well tried to rest, but I couldn't because I was interrupted by Miss Bingley, so I started to sip my soup.
"Miss Bennet, I am so sorry to hear of your indisposition, pray tell me, did your mother send you to call on dear Horatio?"
BLOAR!! The meaning behind that comment, was lost on me as soon as she said Horatio, I spilt soup everywhere. Miss Bingley looked distastefully at me, as I spluttered and tried to mop up the soup.
"Horatio?" I asked, once I could speak. Mrs Hurst entered about this time, so she decided to answer my question.
"You mean to tell me, Miss Bennet, that you have not heard of the Earl Of Matlock's older son, Lord Horatio, Viscount Ashbourne? He is Mr. Darcy's cousin and the honourable Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam's elder brother. Horatio, has come to Netherfield from The Duke of Whitfield's estate where ............"
And so Mrs. Hurst babbled on, then Miss Bingley took up the challenge, mentioning the Duke's name several more times. I am surmising that she knows none of these people and is trying to impress me, however I stopped listening.
"So, what do you say to that Miss Bennet?" Miss Bingley looked triumphantly at me. There was no sister to save me this time so I said what was on my mind.
"I now know why he is called Ash." Miss Bingley looked at me and Mrs. Hurst sniffed.
"Well, Miss Bennet, we must see to our guests" and they left. I now know why Lizzy called them the 'Superior Sisters'. I had to call the maid back up to my room, have the entire bed stripped and a change of clothes! STUPID HORATIO, first he mistakes me for every Tom Dick and Harry, make that Jane, Lizzy and Caroline, but now he has a ridiculous name that forces me to have to change.
Part VI
The rest of the day passed quickly as I was sleeping, but in the time I was awake, I had many visitors, the Superior Sisters came again and spent the entire time talking about fashion, I suppose to show how they had fashion and I didn't, Charles came to tell me that Lizzy and Jane would have come to see me but Mama is being a great pain (Charles didn't put it quite like that), Ash visited briefly with the Superior Sisters and Mr. Darcy came to give me a book.
"There you are, Kitty, Julius Caesar, or this novelette, in which some poor girl seems to have fits all the time." Tough choice but I took the novelette, Darcy seemed surprised.
"I'm ill sir, so you suppose I want to distress myself further and I don't want to read about some person who gets stabbed and then everyone goes to war."
"But you are quite willing to read something, whose title includes "Murder"?"
"It will be amusing" I must have fallen asleep here because when I opened my eyes, I was alone. I read the novelette and I was amused, I knew I would be. I think I will model my next hysterical attack on the heroine. She managed a separate attack of hysterics on practically every third page. She must have had quite a constitution.
So yes, the day passed peacefully, early the next morning, the doctor, Dr Jones, visited and said that I did not have a fever or cold and I could go down to breakfast but that I must rest in the afternoon.
The SS, were at once of the opinion that I should stay in bed, all day, if Dr Jones thought I would be tired out. Once the SS said that, I made up my mind dressed and went down to breakfast.
Charles had been so kind as to order some soup for breakfast, in case I was not well enough to eat more solid food. Mr. Hurst was seated at one end of the table, Charles at the other. I was to Mr. Hurst's left, next to Ash. Ash was seated next to Miss Bingley. Colonel Fitzwilliam who had just arrived sat to Mr. Hurst's right. Mrs. Hurst sat next to Colonel Fitzwilliam and Darcy sat next to the colonel.
I notice that Miss Bingley has placed herself opposite Mr. Darcy (still holds out hope I suppose) and next to Ash (who is unmarried and heir to an earldom).
"How did you find Scarborough, Miss Bingley?" asked Col. Fitzwilliam.
"Scarborough! It is a delightful place do you not agree sister?" replied Miss Bingley.
"Oh, most definitely, the air and society was most agreeable and refined."
"Yes, the society, a welcome change from...............other places I have visited." replied Caroline.
"Yes, I did hear that you had met Lady Henrietta " said Ash changing the subject quickly, while glancing at me.
"Oh, Lady Henrietta!! a most accomplished lady, she introduced us to some of her dear friends, while we were there, in fact one of her party, did pay particular attention to me." Miss Bingley crowed.
"Who do you mean, sister? There were so many that paid particular attention to you?" replied Mrs. Hurst, an obvious comment meant for Darcy, to show him what he had lost.
"Sister, I meant the Duke of Avon's Grandson, Lord George Alastair!!"
*SYNCHRONISED SPLUTTERING AND MUCH SPILLING OF SOUP*
The gentlemen of the table choked and looked horrified (at least it wasn't at me). Miss Bingley took this to be a good sign and continued.
"If we had stayed much longer I feel that I would be very soon intimately acquainted with the Avon household and dear Marquis Vidal."
*SYNCHRONISED COUGHING *
Ash's hand which had been frozen mid air at Miss Bingley's first comment, came abruptly downwards, hitting his spoon. The spoon was unfortunately in his soup, causing soup to fly at Darcy. Darcy leapt up, deflecting the soup, splashing Bingley. Bingley who didn't see it coming, let out a cry knocking his soup bowl. The soup bowl, which was entirely blameless in this affair, flew up and landed squarely in Miss Bingley's lap. The effect was like watching falling dominoes.
Charles looked as if someone had shot him in the foot, Ash looked as though he had just witnessed a murder. Col. Fitzwilliam eyes had widened to the size of saucers, Darcy had frozen aghast, half standing, half sitting and even Mr. Hurst looked shocked!
*SYNCHRONISED STANDING OF GENTLEMEN*
Darcy to general populace - "Ah, I better go change, Sorry Bingley........" he hurried out of the room but not before I saw a smirk at Miss Bingley flash across his face.
Ash calling after Darcy - 'Darce old boy, I am most sorry, your new Jacket!!!" he hurried out of the room.
Bingley to general populace - "I am most sorry Caroline but I better go change" He hurried out of the room calling "Darcy! Ash! I apologise profusely!"
Miss Bingley sat still in shock, just looking at the upturned soup bowl, in horror. The two remaining gentlemen, looked at each other and suddenly found reasons to be elsewhere.
"I think I better go help my brother. Sorry Ladies"
"Yes, Yes............ my brother in law may also need some assistance, my apologies, Miss Bennet, Caroline, Louisa."
They hurried out.
Miss Bingley sat stock-still looking at the upturned soup bowl in her lap, she then glared at me, obviously thinking I had started the whole incident. Mrs. Hurst, stood up and called for servants. The servants whisked in, and Miss Bingley was helped by her sister out of the room. Leaving me, alone siting at the table that was covered in spilt soup. What had made the men react like that, and why on earth was everyone so concerned with getting changed??
Suddenly the door reopened and Ash walked back in, "Miss Bennet, may I escort you upstairs, you look unwell." If he had said it with any other tone of voice, I would have been most offended at the unwell statement. But his tone, was very serious, and I think he wanted me out of the way, so I accepted his offer, and left my hardly touched soup. Though looking at it, I don't think I could actually eat it having seen so much of it fly about the room. So I took his arm as he lead me to the staircase.
The rest of the Gentlemen, were standing around the bottom of the staircase. They must have changed very quickly. They did not see us approach so I caught snippets of their conversation.
"Debts...............George .....loose............Avon........cad.................rogue
............call him out.....................I will second..............................Shhh Miss Bennet!!"
They all then adopted nonchalant poses as Ash and I passed. I could not help myself, I shook free from Ash's hold, and stepped back down the stairs.
"Don't concern yourself gentlemen, does Miss Bingley or Mrs. Hurst know the Duke of Whitfield?" The look on all their faces, constrained amusement, answered a resounding no. "Then I dare say when you question her further, her acquaintance with this gentleman will be equal to her acquaintance with his Grace. "
With that I refused any more offers of accompaniment and went to rest. Upon entering my chamber, I lay down on the bed and started re reading that novelette. Perhaps I should write some rules down? The heroine in the novelette seems to have a very definite pattern to her hysterical acts. Pondering this for a while, I suddenly heard a noise in the passage. I went to door and opening a crack, I did what ANY girl would do, eavesdropped.
Part VII
"Oh Louisa it was terrible! Charles made me confess, in front of Mr. Darcy and dear Horatio that I had hardly met Lord George or the Marquis of Vidal or the Duke and Duchess of Avon and then to cap it off, he made me confess that I had never met the Duke of Whitfield because he is just out of mourning for his father! Oh I just wanted to impress that silly Bennet girl."
"Oh Caroline! My dear sister, I am in sympathy with you, to be treated in this manner." Cried Mrs. Hurst.
"But you have not heard the worst of it!!"
"I haven't?"
"No, apparently Lord George is not a man to be trusted and that no respectable person thinks much of him and there I was saying that he was attached to me!! Charles said that if there was any truth in the matter he would probably have to call a duel! A DUEL LOUISA!! Why I ask, do I have to be humiliated twice in one day? What could Horatio think of me now, I just know he will always look at me and be thinking of a bowl of soup in my lap."
"Don't stress yourself Caroline, Horatio will know that Miss Bennet started it all and that it was a ploy to keep him to herself. She has obviously seen the way he treats you and is jealous."
The Superior Sisters, then carried on down the passage to their own rooms. I found the conversation most amusing, I was very glad that my hunch had been right and was even gladder that Miss Bingley had been humiliated not once but twice in front of all the gentlemen. As if I would do something like that to keep that man's attention on me. Now, if it was the Colonel............that's another story. Ah... regimentals!!
For the rest of the day I kept to my chambers, but the maid who attended on me told me, in the strictest confidence, that I was much better off, indisposed. It appeared that the Superior Sisters were in a devil of a mood and the gentlemen were spending the day avoiding them like the plague. I was visited by Dr Jones again, who pronounced me completely unscathed from my drenching and that I was perfectly all right to return to Longbourn. As I did not wish to go downstairs and risk seeing the Superior Sisters, it would not be that I was afraid of them, simply I did not trust myself not to say certain things around them. So I sent Mr. Bingley a note.
Dr Jones has said I'm perfectly fine to return home today, though shall I leave on the morrow.
KittyCharles
I insist you stay a few more days! In fact you must stay a few more days! I simply won't hear of anything else.
CharlesKitty,
No, I'm afraid I am needed at home to prepare for the journey to London. May I enquire why you wish me to stay?
Kitty
Puck,
Ignore Bingley, you know the reason. Please, stay for the gentlemen of this household's sanity?
Oberon.
Kitty,
I must protest! Do not listen to Darcy! I wish for you to stay because I do not wish you to exert yourself and become ill, I would feel exceedingly guilty.
Charles
Miss Bennet,
I feel most strongly on this issue. It would only be polite to stay after you threw soup at the hostess.
Lord Horatio, Viscount Ashbourne.
Charles and Darcy
I will stay on your account. But on no account am I staying because of Lord Ashbourne.
Kitty.
Charles,
Dreadful man! The presumption to write to me and accuse me of throwing soup at Miss Bingley. So, I was invited to stay for another 4 days until our London trip.
The next morning, I woke early, escaped all members of the household and went for a quiet walk around the grounds, because Mama had sent word, while I was resting, that Lizzy, Jane, Mary and her were coming to visit. I needed a nice relaxing time before that happened. I was walking up beside the main drive when I saw a man lying on the grass next to a horse. It looked as though he had been thrown. I raced up to him.
"Sir! Are you hurt?" I cried, kneeling beside him.
"Not really Miss, I've hurt my ankle, could you fetch help?"
"Of course" I got up to run to the house when he called me back.
"Miss, could you tell Lord Ashbourne that there is an express for him, it is urgent." I turned and ran.
I lost my bonnet, shawl and goodness knows what else but I did not stop running until I was at the house.
The first person I encountered was Col. Fitzwilliam, I ran full into him at the top of the stairs.
"Colonel, there is a man hurt on the drive, he is in need of medical assistance." Without stopping to hear his reply I ran on into the house.
"Lord Ashbourne, Lord Ashbourne!!!" A footman appeared from no where it seemed.
"Miss, I believe he is still asleep." It was said in a tone that obviously implied, "and so is the rest of the household, please be quiet."
I raced up the stairs, still calling out to Ash. I ran to his chamber door, and pounded on it, Darcy appeared in the passage behind me.
"Kitty what on earth is going on?"
Suddenly the door flew open, Ash stood their, in only his dressing gown he was fastening it up as the door opened. My gaze travelled up and up, until I reached his face, unshaven, oh dear, I had never been in such close range to such an undressed and unshaven male, I mean Lydia and I always talked about calling on officers before they were dressed, but we never....................oh my.............I was speechless, all I could do was look at his face, specifically his jaw, very strongly set, clenched even. He practically towered over me, but he looked quite undignified. I couldn't help but stare, I had never seen a man so unshaven and dishevelled. I couldn't help but smirk, Ash scowled.
"Miss Bennet! What do you want??" he said rather brusquely breaking my reverie. I think he thought I was looking at him.............well I was but not for any particular........... well, not the reason he thought I was.
"An express has come for you............" I grabbed his arm racing down the passage shoving Darcy out of the way as I ran.
"Miss Bennet, please!!" Ash practically tore his arm out of mine, he looked very, very dishevelled. He looked one way and then another, looking as though he was being hunted.
"Surely the rider can come up here....."
"No, he can't, he has been injured. Sir, he said it was very urgent." I went to take him arm again, and he practically flinched. But then, he jumped when the butler materialised on the stairs.
"You are needed downstairs my lord." Ash stood up to his full height and tried to walk down the stairs with grace and decorum. Unfortunately, grace and decorum do not become, old worn dressing gowns and unshaven faces.
I couldn't help but snicker at the thought of an old dressing gown suddenly getting up and protesting that it should be called dignified, Ash turned around and the look he gave me was most alarming, he stood there for a full second glowering at me, before turning on his heel, stomping down the stairs. Oh it was so funny! But, dreadful man, to look at me like that, I mean what on earth had I done to him? Oh dear, did he think I was laughing at him!! Oh dear.....
I managed to make it to my chambers, once there I flung myself onto the bed, trying to compose myself. I was so amused, I could hardly stop laughing I had tears running down my face, but I was so ruffled that I could hardly tell if they were from laughing or crying. Oh why couldn't I have got a footman to go up?? Oh dear, oh dear, why did he have to be so rude. It was not my fault he looked quite stupid. I suppose he is always dignified and formidable, that to be seen by someone as quite the opposite to your preferred character traits is upsetting. Especially if that person is a lady who you take some perverse delight in provoking. Hateful, Hateful Man but so funny!!
By the time, I could actually think sensibly and go downstairs again, everyone was at breakfast and Ash was, as they spoke, flying back to London on his trusty steed (as they would say). I couldn't help but sigh, of course now Ash would think that I thought seeing him like that was amusing, which it was!! But his pride and dignity and all those other feelings men seem to have, are probably wounded, he now hates me and never wants to see me again. Which I must stress is not a bad thing, in fact it is quite a good thing since it got rid of him! Why didn't I think of this before? We should have tried it on Mr. Collins.
Part VIII
Mama was excessively disappointed in having missed Ash, she kept repeatedly asking me whether I had seen much of him, whether I had been polite, whether he had shown me any particular attention, and so the questions went on.
Lizzy and Jane were also sorry to have missed him, but for reasons only connected with wanting to be better acquainted with respectively a relation and friend of their future husbands.
The next four days went fleetingly. The engagement parties and well wishing, were not quite upon us yet. I spent my days, strolling through the grounds and becoming better friends with the gentlemen in the house. There was no point trying to be anything to the SS (Superior Sisters), they were barely civil to me, so I saw little point in being civil to them.
Charles, is a very pleasant man, he is always nice, and finds fault with no one, or in anything. I like him exceedingly. Col. Fitzwilliam is the essence of honour and as charming as they make them. He is the polar opposite of his brother, he does not need to be dignified and above everybody else. Mr. Hurst I spoke to very little, all he does is drink to excess but on the rare occasion where he was not inebriated, he was quite nice, I pity him exceedingly for having a SS as a wife, it is she who drove him into his bad habits I am sure. Mr. Darcy, I had many conversations with him, he is not always as he is around me. For example the way he acts around Miss Bingley and Mama. I questioned him about this and he replied thusly.
"I have always had a younger sister, I am myself around Georgiana, you are Georgiana's age therefore I must be used to young ladies of your age....." to which I replied.
"You are making no sense."
"That is what silly young ladies do to me. Georgiana says it is my worst trait." To which I threw a cushion at him.
So, on the morning, four days later, our carriage arrived at Netherfield, already packed with my luggage, what dear sisters I have, and after bidding adieu to the house's occupants, I got into the carriage.
To my surprise, Mary was also there. Lizzy informed me that they had thought it best to leave Papa with no women, then with just one. The trip was either excessively boring or excessively diverting depending on how you look at it.
Mary spent the trip, reading some heavy looking book and her only contribution to the conversation was quotes from the said heavy book. Mama spent the trip talking constantly about what we would do in London and where her 'dear' Jane and 'dear' Lizzy would go to buy clothes etc etc. Lizzy and Jane both listened with what I consider to be iron nerves, and making appropriate comments when necessary. I, on the other hand had nothing really to do, I was not part of Mama's one sided drill, in fact any attempt by me to stem the tirade was frowned upon and some comments like "What are you to do with it, Kitty?" was said. I was not about to be married, I was not pretty enough to be of use to Mama. It was about three quarters of the way through the journey that I realised that the small bag I had brought on the journey was heavier than I imagined. On investigating, to the strains of, "Kitty, heaven help me what are you doing fossicking about it there, your elbows child!! Now as I was saying Lizzy.....", I found the novelette, with a note in place at one of the more particularly prominent hysterical scenes.
You are right, this is an extremely diverting book! Pray, note the exact way the young lady, acts in this scene, it would be worth a guinea if someone could replicate it!
Oberon.
P.S Give my warmest, nay most affectionate regards to Lizzy (aha note not Elizabeth)Puck,
After telling Lizzy, that I had forgotten Mr. Darcy wanted to send his regards. (As if the departure scene wasn't enough. I should have thought that Darcy and Charles would have cried.) I re-read the particular passage that Darcy had highlighted, I do not think it worth a guinea, I could replicate it easily.
Finally, we arrived in London and pulled up at the Gardiners home. Aunt and Uncle greeted us all warmly, though Mary and I were treated to less of a welcome than our older sisters, but this isn't surprising, we are neither their favourite nieces nor the guests of honour. The children, are as dear as ever but clung most to Lizzy and Jane.
The next morning, we or should I say Jane and Lizzy, had visitors. Friends of the Gardiners came to congratulate them. One of the visitors was a Mr. Blake Wasop, a business acquaintance of Uncle's and as he came with a couple, the Harringtons, who had known Lizzy and Jane since they were very small, the visit was destined to be a long one. Mr. Wasop came to talk to me and he is most agreeable, I was so engrossed in our conversation that the time passed very quickly. I do not even know what we were talking of, we must have touched on every subject. Though, he talks a great deal about his military friends and that topic is most agreeable to me. Apparently, he was in the military for a brief stint, but he was injured in battle, but not after receiving medals for his bravery in battle.
Once our visitors had left, it gave me more time to think about Mr. Wasop, he was most certainly very attractive, not tall , but not short, he had fair hair, that fell most nicely around his face. Aunt Gardiner saw that I had spoken quite a deal to Mr. Wasop and asked me about him. I think she was pleased when I asked her about his connections and his reputation. She obviously thinks, I will in probably the best words, 'do a Lydia', fall for an undeserving person.
Apparently, Mr. Wasop, is rather well off, about 4, 000 pounds a year. She did believe he was in the military at one stage but left to take over his family business. She had heard nothing about him, that swayed her doubt that he was a thoroughly respectable man and her husband often commented that one could go far with an intellect like his.
I do not care about his trade or his respectability, he is a very attentive person. I am much looking forward to meeting him again and I told Aunt so. His military tales are most interesting, they bring back happy memories of Meryton and Lydia. Speaking of Lydia, it has been quite a while since I have heard from her.
The visit did not end before, the Harringtons invited us all, to use their booked box next week as they were obliged to be elsewhere. Mr. Wasop was immediately applied to attend with us, the offer was accepted and it was settled, I was going to the theatre, for the first time in my life. Oh, what shall I wear!
The next week would be pointless for me to describe, it consisted of fittings for dresses I was never destined to wear and visitors to whom I was merely the sister of 'dear, dear' Lizzy and Jane. But the week did bring a few more visits from Mr. Wasop. As it turns out, he knows Denny, which opened up a whole new line of conversation for us. I even went for a ride in his gig. Aunt Gardiner severely berated me for this, as it was an unchaperoned ride. Where may I ask was the chaperone supposed to sit? There is only room for two. So I was forbidden from ever doing it again. Once apparently may be excused, twice would be unpardonable unless I was engaged. So, Aunt Gardiner, Lizzy and Jane all joined forces against me to watch me most carefully, I was not allowed a single moment alone with Wasop. I was most annoyed, I think I must have sulked because Jane and Lizzy avoided my company. I mean what do they expect, I wasn't doing anything wrong.
The day of our trip to the theatre finally arrived, it was an special treat for Mary and I as we had never been to a theatre before and it was a nice evening for the rest of our party before we returned to Meryton. I was most amused when we arrived for I found that the play was to be William Shakespeare's A Midsummer Nights Dream.
Mr. Wasop complimented me on my appearance, even though Mama refused to supply me with a new outfit for the occasion. I watched the performance most diligently, even if I was substituting the actors for various persons of my acquaintance in my head. During the first interval, I happened to look over at one of the boxes and who should I see.................but Ash, I quickly turned to Mr. Wasop so that Ash would not see me.
"Would you look at that perfectly hideous cravat!!" exclaimed Mr. Wasop.
"Sir?"
"Look over in that box." He pointed right at Ash, when I turned back to him he must have noticed my expression.
"You know that man?"
"Yes, a little."
"Oh, he is a dreadful man, he boxes you know and is one of those dandies, obsessed with creating the 'perfect' cravat. Almost in Beau Brummell's league. Perfectly stupid to obsess over your appearance, if you ask me."
A dandy!! It suddenly made sense, the way he was so rude when I saw him without his veneer of perfect attire and it would explain his attitude, I always knew he was a perfectly ridiculous man. I could look at him now, in fact I couldn't help laughing and it was at that moment he looked directly into our box. By the way, he suddenly turned away, I know that he saw me openly laughing at him. Imagine to be that obsessed over clothing and your appearance, vanity is a failing and one that Ash apparently had in abundance.
Mr. Wasop could not see my face and he was obviously concerned by the way I was being silent.
"I hope, Miss Bennet, I haven't offended you, I always speak plainly, it often gets me into trouble."
"No sir, you haven't offended me, in fact I am most indebted to your revelation. It will create hours of ceaseless amusement for me." To this Wasop looked most confused.
Part IX
As we were walking out of the theatre to our carriage, I was on Wasop's arm, we passed Ash and his group, or I suppose I should say set, Ash was obviously telling some story for he waved his arm around and a most brilliant green flash was set off from his hand. I could not help but stare as we passed. Where had that come from? Ash only wore one ring from recollection and that was a rather plain signet ring with a black stone. My eyes met his and the spell was broken, I laughed at him and turned back to Wasop. I think he was still looking at me because I heard one of his set say.
"Say, Ash, isn't she in trade and not to mention too young!" Hearty laughter followed this comment. I didn't know where to look, I'm eighteen! whatever were they talking about?? Then I realised Ash must be thirty at least, he didn't look thirty but he must be. Oh, how amusing, to be at that age still concerned over your appearance! Wasop looked at me as I tried to contain my amusement. Wasop, there was a man of the right age, he could not be a day over 26. Over the laughter I heard Ash say very loudly, obviously to silence the laughter.
"No, Worth, it was the cravat pin, just the thing I have been looking for, I'm sure Madame at Astley's would be impressed." By the amount of uproarious laughter following this comment, I know it was sarcastic. How dare he!! The comment was obviously directed at Mr. Wasop, but there was nothing wrong with Mr. Wasop's cravat pin, it was bejewelled with fine diamonds and emeralds and one or two sapphires. It sparkled every way you looked at it, the more I think about it, Ash must be jealous of the way Mr. Wasop stood out in a crowd. Looking at the said cravat pin, made me see Mr. Wasop's cravat more closely, it was made of lace and suited him perfectly. Mr. Wasop looked a bit disturbed and had blushed a little, overhearing the comment made towards himself and the reaction it had brought. I clung a bit tighter to his arm and looked encouragingly at him. Dreadful Ash!
Once we were in the carriage, Mama looked out of the carriage, "Mr. Wasop who is that gentleman?"
Mr. Wasop looked out of the carriage at where Mama was looking and replied with coldness in his voice, "That Ma'am is Lord Ashbourne......... worth all of 30 000 pounds." He added in what seemed a rather bitter tone. "It is well known he will gain another 35 000 on his fathers death, 65 000 pounds per annum until any son comes of age. Though, I believe he lives much beyond his means and if he ever marries he will have to find a woman of fortune to help sustain his standard of living."
"Lord Ashbourne?.................." Lizzy looked most confused, I knew where she knew that name from but I wasn't about to enlighten her. Unfortunately Wasop did.
"Lord Horatio, Viscount Ashbourne. Son of the Earl of Matlock, which is in............"
"Fitzwilliam's cousin!" cried Lizzy. Mama looked immediately interested.
"Oh! Yes he was at Netherfield, you know dear Mr. Bingley's estate, but he was urgently needed back in London before we were introduced. I wonder what could have made him return so promptly." This comment of Mama's was directed at Wasop, but it was I who made the reply.
"Perhaps he had word from Beau Brummell that their cargo of cravat pins had been delayed?" Wasop immediately burst out laughing at that comment, It really made me feel good that I had made a witty comment. The others in the carriage just looked at me. But the big booster was that we drove past Ash and his set and I just know they could hear us laughing.
The carriage dropped us off at the Gardiner's residency and took Wasop on to his own establishment. I couldn't stop raving about the theatre, my enthusiasm was not dampened, by the morning and it was I who formed the bulk of the conversation on the way home. But I did not leave London before asking Aunt what Madame at Astley's was. On hearing that Astley's was a kind of gaudy circus amphitheatre, very popular and fun but gaudy. Then I fully understood why Mr. Wasop was affronted and I was offended for him.
Papa, was waiting for us on the steps, how sweet, he missed us. I just knew what he was going to say as soon as we alighted from the carriage, I felt I could mouth the words along with him.
"I'm glad you've come back Jane, I'm glad you've come back Lizzy."
Of course there is no mention of Mary or I, even Mama got a small peck on the cheek. Darcy, Charles and Col. Fitzwilliam visited and I was able to have a conversation with the gentlemen about the play I had seen. I carefully made no mention of Ash. However, I should have foreseen Lizzy saying something.
"Fitzwilliam, your cousin, Lord Ashbourne was at the theatre, we passed him in the street outside."
"Really? I wonder what could be keeping him in London, whatever business called him there must have been concluded by now."
I managed to just muffle a snort, still thinking of those cravat pins. The entire room looked at me, thankfully I had a book in my hand so I could pass it off as an amusing part of the book. The next few weeks were nothing but parties and more parties. Parties for the upcoming nuptials, normal parties, parties to herald the start of December and the coming of Christmas. Darcy and Charles were paraded around like a form of livestock. Lizzy and Jane were put up on a pedestal. See girls this is what you should aspire to, see these Bennet girls know how to catch a good husband, watch them carefully, pick up some good tips.
I was mentioned, quite freely by the gossips of town, as likely to make a mediocre match, my connections must make the match acceptable but my airs and 'personality' must lower my chances of a *good* match. The only thing that made me not publicly disgrace myself by telling those gossips a thing or two, was what they were saying about Mary.
Mary, it seems, is destined to never marry or to marry very far below her station. Poor girl, she is plain and sings and plays horribly, technically well but horribly in her air. She doesn't deserve those criticisms, neither do I, maybe I won't marry well but that does not give Meryton society leave to gossip over it.
Some good news though, I got to hold the arch for the wedding, or should I say weddings. I will pass over the wedding, partly because I wasn't paying a great deal of attention, I was more thinking about what MY wedding would be like and what I would be wearing. Ash returned for the wedding, looking quite impeccable, I did not meet him, that is to say talk to him, at the wedding, it was at the wedding breakfast that I had that honour.
Part X
The wedding breakfast was at Longbourn and was quite a spectacular affair. Mama knew how to send her girls off with style! I managed to slip away from most of my acquaintance and escaped to a window with a cup of tea.
Ash seemed to be with a small number of people, who by their hearty laughing I guessed to be close friends, but not of the same set that we saw outside the theatre. I have no idea what they were doing here. Perhaps Ash brought them so he could stand around with other well-dressed gentlemen? But no, Darcy and Charles seemed to be talking to them and Darcy was looking most relaxed. They must be relations of Darcy's and Ash's. Thinking of Darcy, he is always well dressed, but not at all concerned when seen not at his best. Unlike Ash, oh that was the most amusing thing ever. I could hardly help the smile that spread across my face when I thought of the 'express' incident. Yes, I had been a little embarrassed but not as much as he had.
"Miss Bennet, may I inquire as to what you are thinking?"
Arrgh! I spun around, to face Ash, my face went quite red, I could hardly tell him 'oh I was thinking about you' could I? I suddenly remembered I was next to a window.
"Why nothing my Lord, I was admiring the view." I waved my hand in the direction of the window. As Ash looked out of the window, a strange self-satisfied smile spread over his face. He turned back to me.
"Yes, a most charming view Miss Bennet," with that he bowed and walked back to his set. Strange man! I turned to look out of the window. I was horrified (even I am becoming horrified at myself). Just outside this particular window, was a group of footmen, all standing there in their livery!! I had just told Ash I was admiring the view................I could hardly breathe and it did not help that I heard Ash's set laugh hysterically at something. I was mortified to say the least. I turned away from the window so quickly that I almost spilled my tea all over a gentleman. The gentleman leapt back, but on seeing he was in no danger, he came towards me to introduce himself.
"Good morning, I'm Lord Matlock. Is my son giving you some trouble, Miss........................??" It struck me then that there was some resemblance between this man and Ash.
"Bennet, Catherine Bennet. No sir, I can not think of anyone that is less likely to cause me trouble sir."
"I'm very glad to hear you say that, Horrie is rather disagreeable at times to the young ladies, too flippant and grave at the same time. Ah, but Miss Bennet I shall have to leave you, I see my dear wife is wishing to discuss something with me." Lord Matlock, bowed and removed to the other side of the room.
Leaving me to ponder..................Horrie? HORRIE? What a Horrible name! It so suits Ash though. Col. Fitzwilliam spied me from across the room and came over.
"Miss Bennet, I see you have met my father."
"Yes I have, he is most agreeable and has told me of Lord Ashbourne's family nickname." I smiled at him.
"Ah!.... yes, Horrie. I must tell you never to say that out loud around my brother, he tolerates it from family members but....only barely. He has tried for many years to make his *only* nickname Ash, but Papa refuses point blank and Mama still thinks of him as her dear little Horrie. But to shoulder some of your amusement from my brother, I must confess that my childhood nickname was Richie and Darce was Fitzie. We were the regular comrades, Horrie, Richie and Fitzie. Funnily enough only Ash's nickname has stuck. Papa calls Darce, Darcy now and I'm Richard or Colonel."
"You were all close as children and you still are?" I was surprised, I imagined them close but not as close as Col. Fitzwilliam seemed to be making out.
"Of course! There is only really three years separating us, so I guess it is natural for us to be all very close."
The conversation continued on to other subjects and soon petered out. Lord Matlock, headed our direction, with a lady whom I assume is Lady Matlock.
"Ah Richard, I think the couples are about to depart" said the lady. Lord Matlock then made the introductions between us, I was right it was Lady Matlock. Col. Fitzwilliam offered his mother his arm and Lord Matlock offered his to me. As we walked outside, I couldn't help but smile at the sight of Caroline Bingley hanging off Ash's arm.
We waved the happy couples off. All the guests left to various locations soon afterwards and Meryton was thrown back into its normal cycle or should I say rut.
I read many more books and tried to learn the piano. I also had the opportunity, to trim more bonnets now that there was no Lydia to steal them from me. She always took my bonnets and fobbed her poor pieces of work back on me. Consequently, she was always better dressed then me. So the months of December, January and February passed with nothing more then a few letters to be of any interest to anyone.
{snip cordial greetings and etc. etc. etc.}
Col. Fitzwilliam and Lord Ashbourne called in briefly on their way to Matlock. They send their Christmas and New Year Greetings to you.
{uninteresting Pemberley news}
Sister, Fitzwilliam has a request to make of you,
Puck, Christmas greetings, would you be so kind as to come to London in March with us? Georgiana is not yet out and will be in desperate need of some silly female company and I immediately thought of you. Lizzy begs me to write that I do not mean what I wrote but you will know that I do. Oberon.
Will you Kitty? Come to the season with us, I feel it would do you much good. I am also going to ask Mama to come to us for a fortnight for Papa says that she needs to be assured of my health and happiness.
Yours sisterly,
Elizabeth Darcy
Dearest Catherine,
How are you, now that you are left virtually sisterless? You will be surprised at me writing to you for we are of little acquaintance, however, this letter is most definitely a cunning ruse.
{cut mindless filler}
Yours Etc
Mrs Harrington.Dear Kitty,
Included in Mrs Harrington's letter was this.
Do not think me presumptuous in writing to you. I only heard from the Gardiners that you and the Darcys were expected to visit London for the season. I only wish that you will give me leave to call on you when you are in town.
Yours faithfully,
Mr Wasop.Dear Miss Bennet,
To the first letter I replied a definite affirmative as did Mama and as for the second I was shocked to say the least. That Mr Wasop would write to me! How flattering. I was always going to write and give him leave to call on me in town but the question was how? I finally decided on a letter enclosed in a reply to Mrs Harrington.
So it was not long before Mama and I was en route to London once more, the only thing that saved me from Mama's raptures was not a particularly engrossing letter from Lydia but it served it's purpose. We arrived at the Darcy townhouse and after greeting Lizzy, Darcy and Georgiana, I was escorted to my room while Mama fawned over Lizzy downstairs. I unpacked and looked around the room. It was a very spacious room and well furnished. There was a wardrobe next to the door, and a dresser, and the bed! Laying down on it, I did not think I would want to get up. After some time, I managed to pull myself off the bed, inspect myself in the mirror and go downstairs.
I was walking down the corridor and turned to go down the stairs, I was thinking about all the fun things I would do in London, when I ran into someone.
"Miss Bennet! Darcy said you would be arriving today, I did not expect you so early!"
"Lord Ashbourne! What are you doing here?" Yes, I do realise that was not the most polite thing I could have said but I was shocked to see him.
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