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Chapter 14
Brenda was tired of waiting around, unable to do anything, merely fielding repeated enquiries from Ben's father to no advantage for herself.
The children were at a neighbour's, so there was no better time to place a call to Pemberley.
"Mr. Darcy, please." Brenda waited, tapping her foot on the kitchen floor. "Mr. Darcy? It's Brenda. I think it's time we had a talk." She listened. "No, here in Cambridge. At my place. I want you to know everything, no more misunderstandings between us." Again she listened to the voice that sounded so much like one she sorely missed. "Great. I'll see you tomorrow, then."
As she thoughtfully replaced the receiver, Brenda let out her breath and then turned her attention to making her children's tea.
She spent the following morning going over her house with a fine tooth comb, making sure there was nothing out of place. After all, the Darcys were accustomed to impeccable surroundings, maintained by an efficient staff. Brenda had no desire to give them cause to find fault with her situation.
By noon, she was satisfied that all that could be done had been done. There was nothing left to do but wait.
The bell rang promptly at three o'clock. Brenda showed her guests into the front room and when they were seated, asked if they would like any refreshments.
"Yes, please, " Will began.
Elizabeth shot him a look. "No, thank you," she said pointedly.
Brenda paused, glancing at Will to see if he really did want something. He nodded and smiled slightly.
"Tea? Or could I get you something else?"
"Tea would be fine." Will turned to his wife when Brenda was safely out of the room. "Elizabeth, you promised to at least hear her out before rejecting her as unworthy of our son. I expect you to live up to that promise."
Elizabeth did not appear contrite in any way. She was determined not to like this young woman. Watching Brenda as she rejoined them, Elizabeth took in the appearance of her son's girlfriend.
Brenda was not what one could consider beautiful, nor even pretty for that matter. She had a rather plain face, and did not appear to use much in the way of makeup to accentuate the attractive aspects. Her hair was straight and shoulder length, the light brown locks currently tied behind her head and held in place with a clip. This was not the woman Elizabeth had expected to see. She was not a polished, primping prima donna, nor was she a dolled up fancy piece. Brenda was a plain looking, plain speaking woman whose appearance belied her thirty years. Not for the first time did Elizabeth wonder what her son saw in this woman.
As Brenda fussed with the tea things, Elizabeth noted an absence of jewellery, most notably any rings, and sighed imperceptibly.
Will accepted the cup with a smile, and Brenda settled into the chair opposite them.
"I thought it was time we met," she said nervously. "I think you deserve some sort of explanation for what has been going on."
Elizabeth's lips set in a thin line, but she left it to her husband to carry the conversation from here. It was Will who had insisted that they accept Brenda's invitation, after all. She would much rather have preferred to dislike the woman from a distance.
"I suppose I should start at the beginning," Brenda was saying. "You know that I was married. My husband died about a year ago. Actually one year ago next week. It was a factory accident. Anyway, that left me suddenly alone with two small children to support. Although the compensation package and the insurance money was considerable...... this house is paid for, and my children have trust funds set up in their own names..... I still had to find myself a job for our day to day needs. I had few qualifications, but still managed to land myself a position with an investment firm downtown. It's nothing impressive, but it pays the bills. That's where I met Ben."
Elizabeth had been studying a photo of a smiling, attractive young man on a nearby shelf. This, she assumed, was Brenda's late husband. Her attention was drawn back at the mention of her son's name.
"Ben had approached my employer regarding research for an assignment he was doing. I was appointed to assist him by pulling any records he might require. We worked together for a couple of weeks. Ben was charming and polite, and he often asked me out for lunch, but I always declined. I wasn't ready to start dating yet, and thought he was far too young for me anyway. Besides, I had my children to consider. They were still trying to deal with their father's absence, and I didn't need them becoming attached to a man who wouldn't be around very long, for I was sure that once Ben realized what the package included, he wouldn't be as eager to get involved with me. So, I kept him at bay."
"For two weeks." Elizabeth couldn't stop the words from escaping. Will frowned at her.
Brenda met the other woman's gaze. "Yes, and for three more after that. Ben was persistent. I finally agreed to meet him in the local for a drink and that night I made sure he clearly understood my position."
"You told him about your children?" Will asked.
Brenda nodded. "Yes. I told him that they were my number one concern, and I didn't want to see them hurt. If he had any intention of hooking up with me, then he had to accept Kevin and Sarah as well." She paused, meeting first Elizabeth's gaze and then Will's. "He assured me that he had no problem with the situation. He promised me that he would never do anything to hurt my children. I believed him."
Elizabeth looked down at her lap. She wasn't sure she liked what Brenda was implying. If Ben had gone so far as to become attached to these children, and to allow them to become attached to him..... Oh what have you done to these kids, Ben? How could you stay away from them for so long?
"How old are your children?" Will asked.
Brenda's motherly pride brought a smile to her face. "Kevin is nine, and Sarah has just turned six."
Elizabeth felt a lump rise in her throat as she thought of those two young ones losing their father so early in life. She closed her eyes, remembering how very close her own children had come to losing Will all those years ago.
"They just adore Ben, and he's been so good with them." Brenda sighed.
"Yes. Well that brings us around to the point of the matter, doesn't it?" Will said sternly as he placed his cup down. "Where is Ben?"
"I've heard nothing from him in nearly two months. I've tried not to call, but it hasn't been easy." Brenda looked at them plaintively. "I guess he took me at my word when I said not to come back until he'd made things right with you."
"But why hasn't he come home?" an exasperated Elizabeth asked.
"We know why," Will growled. "He's pigheaded and stubborn and doesn't want to admit when he's wrong. Not to mention selfish."
"Don't be so harsh, Will," Elizabeth retorted.
"Harsh?" Will asked incredulously. "I thought I was being generous. If it wasn't for Anna then none of us would even know he was still alive! He's been thoughtless and inconsiderate and I, for one, am sorely disappointed in him!"
"Oh, please don't be!" cried Brenda. "It's as much my fault as his. We should have been far more open about our relationship from the beginning."
"Yes, you should have," Elizabeth muttered.
Will scowled at his wife. "That's irrelevant at this point, Brenda. His current behaviour is inexcusable."
They were all silent for a few minutes, then the bang of the front door brought everyone's eyes around to the entryway.
"We're home, Mum! Who's car is that outside?" Kevin said breathlessly.
Sarah and Andrea were right behind him. Sarah took one look at the two unfamiliar faces in the room and promptly crawled up into her mother's lap to peek shyly from behind her hands.
"Kevin, Sarah, Andrea, this is Mr. and Mrs. Darcy," Brenda said.
Kevin looked at Will. "You look like Ben. Are you his dad?" he said with the typical forwardness of a child.
Will smiled. "Yes, I am."
"I thought so." Kevin turned his attention to Elizabeth. "You must be his mum."
"Kevin!" Brenda whispered, worried that her son was being a little rude.
Elizabeth merely smiled as she nodded at the boy. "You like Ben, do you?"
Kevin's head bobbed up and down eagerly, then his expression saddened. "But he hasn't visited us in a long time. Mum says I can't ring him 'cause he's not home. Is he at your house?"
"No, I'm afraid he's not." Elizabeth's tone suggested she was as sad as the young boy.
"He didn't go away like my dad, did he?" Kevin's lower lip began to tremble. He valiantly fought to keep it still.
Elizabeth struggled to keep her own voice steady. "No, Kevin. He didn't go away like your father did. He'll be back, I'm sure of it." Her heart went out to the boy, replacing the steadfast belief she'd held that her own son was doing the right thing in staying away.
Kevin attempted a smile, then moved toward the kitchen. Andrea followed him, pausing in the doorway to tell Brenda that she would find him something to eat.
"He's a nice boy." Will smiled at Brenda.
"Thank you."
Sarah shifted on Brenda's lap and lowered her hands from her face. She was feeling a bit braver now that her brother had spoken to these two strangers. Her round eyes were focussed on Elizabeth.
"Sarah," Brenda whispered. "Why don't you run along into the kitchen and see what Andrea's found for you to eat?"
Sarah shook her head. She continued to stare at Elizabeth. Suddenly she clambered down from her seat and crossed the room to stand at Elizabeth's knee.
"My Mummy's been very sad," she said in a tiny voice. "Can you tell Ben to come back? I miss him."
Thinking her heart would break at the expression on this little mite's face, Elizabeth drew in a breath against the tightening in her throat and pulled the little girl to her in a hug. She stroked Sarah's hair and said softly, "I'll tell him, sweetheart. I'll tell him."
"Anna, you must have some idea where he's staying!"
"Mum, I don't. The only contact I have with Ben is when I make a trip to Cambridge and lie in wait for him to come out of class." Anna grimaced. "He's never very happy to see me, either."
"Well, the next time he isn't happy to see you," Elizabeth said in a heated tone, "tell him to get his behind to Pemberley before I send the police to find him!"
"You wouldn't!" Anna said incredulously.
"I mean it, Anna. I want him here yesterday. When are you going to see him next?"
Anna consulted her calendar. "I was planning on going Thursday."
"Make it Tuesday instead," Elizabeth ordered.
"That's tomorrow! I have a lecture in the afternoon." She quickly rethought her reply during the ensuing silence from the other end of the phone. "I guess I could ask someone to take notes for me."
"Let me know how it goes." Elizabeth quickly said her goodbyes and the line went dead.
Anna let out a low whistle. "My goodness Ben. What have you done this time?"
She dutifully made arrangements for a classmate to take notes at the lecture, and the next day set off for Cambridge to face her brother.
Ben was, as predicted, not quite thrilled to see her.
"You just can't take no for an answer, can you Anna?"
"I told you, Mum insisted I come and make sure you know that if you don't get yourself home immediately then there is definitely going to be trouble." She followed him to an empty table and put her glass down beside his. Peering closely at his tired, bloodshot eyes she asked, "Have you been spending every night in this pub, Ben?"
"No." He raised his glass and drank down half the pint.
Anna frowned. "Why are you doing this?" she asked for the hundredth time since his exile began. "When are you going to put an end to it?"
Ben looked down at the tabletop and fingered the watermark left by his glass. "I'm going to see Dad on Saturday. I promise." He looked up to meet his sister's earnest gaze. "Don't say anything to them. Please?"
Anna considered his words. "Mum is going to want to know one way or the other. I can't put her off."
"Just tell her you gave me the message and I'm considering it."
"That might do," she shrugged. "You've let this go too far, you know."
"Yeah, I know." Ben looked so dejected that Anna nearly forgot how angry she was with him for this whole mess. "I'll never be able to make up for it."
His sister had nothing to add to that comment. They sat silently for awhile until Ben rose from his seat, offering to get Anna another drink from the bar. She accepted and when he returned, Ben tried to turn the conversation to more cheerful topics.
"How are you classes going?"
"Very well. I feel much more confident than I did last year at this time." Anna reflected that she would be glad when the personal stress was over so that she could concentrate on her upcoming exams unimpeded.
"Good." Ben stared into his glass of beer. "How did you make out with that chap.... What was his name?"
"Peter," Anna supplied. "Make out is a good choice of words, Ben." She grinned at his shocked expression.
"Anna, I hope you're only having me on here, because if Mum and Dad ever got wind of what you get up to...." He left the sentence dangling, hoping for a contradiction.
She merely shrugged her shoulders. "Well, since I know you'll never say anything, and I'm far too careful to get caught, then there's no danger, is there?"
Shaking his head, Ben shifted into big brother mode. "You're playing with fire, Anna. As careful as you claim to be, you're going to get burned one of these days."
"Just get me another one of these, would you Ben?" She handed him her empty glass as her eyes drifted about the room.
Ben took the glass but before leaving the table he said in a low voice, "You're not going home tonight, are you? You can stay at my place, you know."
"Oh yeah. I don't even know where that place is these days, Ben. Anyway, I have plans." Her smile widened as her eyes rested on a tall blond haired man at a far table. "Um, Ben? About that offer...."
Ben followed the direction of her eyes. "I meant the place I'm staying now, Anna. Not the flat."
"Oh well." She tossed her head. "I'm sure I'll find something."
Ben made his way to the bar, his mind formulating a plan to get his sister away from this place as soon as possible.
"Here, get this down you." Ben held out a glass filled with some noxious looking substance.
Anna peered at it warily. "Do I apply this manually?"
"You drink it!" Ben laughed. Her grimace of distaste made him laugh again. "Do as I say, young lady. It's for the best."
Disbelievingly, she held the glass up to the light. "I can't even see through it! What's in it?"
"No. Don't ask. Just drink it."
She shook her head and put the glass on the table. "No way. I'll just live with my hangover, thanks." Anna favoured him with a particularly annoyed glare. "You spoiled my fun last night."
"I saved you from being stupid yet again," Ben corrected.
She shrugged. "Have it your way."
Frowning, Ben sat down and leaned across the table. "You have it your way far too often. I can't stop you from doing whatever you want when you're at your own place, Anna, but I hope you realize that I'm only looking out for your best interests when you're here."
"Spoil sport."
"This isn't a game, Anna!" he snapped. "One of these days you're going to make a really bad decision. I don't want to be the one to pick up the pieces, or worse..... to try to explain to our grieving parents how their dear daughter ended up.... well.. you get the idea."
"Don't mess with my head this morning, Ben. I'm not up to it." Anna rubbed a hand across her eyes.
"I can't believe how stupid you can be! You didn't even know any of those chaps last night. Hell, if I hadn't been there -!"
"Stop it. Just stop it, Ben!" Anna snapped. "What's the difference? I mean, you wade through the women like they're an endless stream! How many have you had, or have you lost count? They're all over you, all the time. So what's wrong with me enjoying the attention? Men find me just as attractive as the women find you."
"They find you a hell of a lot more attractive with the way you slaver all over them! Show some restraint, Anna. Show a little discernment. Don't you want them to want you for who you are rather than what you're offering?"
She looked a bit surprised at his suggestion. "Isn't that what you were most interested in with the girls you went out with?"
Ben shook his head sadly. "No, Anna. Sure they offered, and I took some up on their offers, but that's not a real relationship." He felt the pain as he thought of Brenda and the relationship that they had enjoyed. "You will never find one if you continue in this fashion. All you'll gain is a reputation. Believe me, that's not what you want."
Anna was silent as she mulled over his words. Then she looked him straight in the eye. "Ben, why don't you just marry Brenda and make yourself, and her, happy? You're so miserable."
He dropped his head into his hands. "I wish I could, Anna. I wish I could."
Chapter 15
3:52 am.
Ben rolled over onto his back and laid an arm across his eyes. At this rate he would never get any sleep!
For hours he had lain in bed, unable to shut off his thoughts, his feelings. Seeing his sister's frivolous attitude toward sex and relationships had driven the point deep.
He was not proud of his actions where Brenda was concerned. She deserved far better, he reflected, than the spoiled rich brat that he had shown himself to be. That was why he'd stayed away from her for so long.
On one hand, he wished she had come looking for him, but he realized that was just his ego talking. Women were always looking for Ben.
Brenda was the only woman he was looking for.
And oh how he missed her! Kevin and Sarah were not far behind in his estimation, either. Ben adored those two children, and only the knowledge that he could cause them further pain by showing up on Brenda's doorstep kept him away.
I've ruined everything.
"Here you are! I thought we were going to the park for some football?" Rich sat down on the grass beside his cousin.
Aaron tossed another stone into the water and watched it hit the surface with a resounding 'plunk'. "Sorry. I forgot."
"Oh."
Aaron's head came up and he looked Rich square in the eyes. "We're going back to New York."
"Who is?" Rich was hoping it wasn't what he thought.
"My Mom and me." Aaron resumed his tossing of stones into the pond. "She told me this morning."
"When are you leaving?" Rich asked quietly.
Flinging his stone as far as possible, Aaron replied, "July. After school's out."
Rich rummaged around in the grass for some stones of his own. "Is it final? I mean, do you think she might change her mind?"
"No, it's final. Once Mom makes up her mind, that's it. We're going."
The two boys were silent for a while, tossing their small missiles into the water. Finally Rich turned to face the other boy.
"I have an idea!" His face reflected his enthusiasm for the plan.
"You won't get her to change her mind, Rich." Aaron shook his head dismally.
"I didn't mean that. But perhaps my Dad will let me go with you, for the summer at least. Before school starts again!" The idea was sounding better to him now that he'd said it aloud. "Then you can teach me some more about baseball and hockey and stuff!"
Aaron's face lit up. "Yeah, that sounds great! I can show you all the great places in New York. You won't believe the stuff to do!"
"Right, then. Let's go find my Dad and ask him right now." Rich scrambled to his feet. Aaron followed suit and they raced each other across the grass to the front steps of the house.
Flinging open the front doors, they pounded through the lower hallway to come to a skidding halt outside the door to Will's study.
"I'm not supposed to bother him when he's working, but I don't think he'll mind." Rich smiled at his cousin. "This is important, after all."
Will was on the telephone when his son pushed open the door and peered in. Looking over his shoulder, Will frowned slightly, then returned his attention to the call. After a few moments, accompanied by an impatient shuffling of feet from the two boys, Will finished his conversation and swivelled his chair around to face his son.
"Yes?" he asked simply.
"Dad, I had a great idea, and you just have to say yes!" Rich said as he approached his father.
"I do?" Will narrowed his gaze. "And this idea would be.....?"
"I could go with Aunt Janna and Aaron when they go back to America. Just to help Aunt Janna get things sorted, mind. I'm sure she could use some help since the house has been closed up for almost a year."
Will did not look convinced. "Rich, would you mind starting that again? Only, this time, give me a plausible reason for you going."
"Um." Rich glanced at Aaron, then back at his father. "I'd like to spend the summer with Aaron, Dad. There's all kinds of things to see and do in New York, and I promise not to be any trouble for Aunt Janna while I'm there..... please?"
Will's gaze was thoughtful. Rebecca will be in Europe, Ben is nowhere to be found, Georgiana and Aaron off for America, and if Rich goes with them that will leave Anna and Kathleen at home. This house is emptying quickly! "I'll need to discuss this with your mother and your aunt, Rich."
The boy's smile beamed. "Thanks, Dad!" he cried. In his eyes it was as good as settled. He would be going to New York!
Will watched the two boys race from the room. He shook his head in amusement. They are as thick as thieves, now. Who could have predicted that after the wretched beginning last summer?
He turned his attention back to the tasks on his desk.
"Kathleen?"
She looked up at the sound of her mother's voice. "Yes, Mum?"
Elizabeth sat down on the bench next to her youngest daughter. She glanced at the book in Kathleen's hands. "It's a lovely day to be reading in the garden." Kathleen frowned in puzzlement. Elizabeth gazed around them at the blooming flowers and smelled their sweet fragrances, then she turned back to her daughter. "It's time we discussed some things."
"Oh." Kathleen suspected she knew to what her mother was referring, and she had already made up her mind.
"I called Dr. Wilson's office today to see about a consultation for you. We can see what your options are, if there are any."
"Mum...."
"I know it's a lot to take in at your age, and you've been so brave through everything." Elizabeth took Kathleen's hand in hers. "Dr. Wilson researched your condition and he sounded as if he'd found something promising."
"Mum," Kathleen persisted. "I don't want to see him. I don't want to hear about any options." Her mother stared at her, speechless. "Mum, I'm only sixteen. What if he tells me there's nothing that can be done? Will I go through the rest of my life wishing things were different and feeling miserable that they aren't?" She shook her head sadly. "No. If I accept it for now, and wait another ten years to see what treatment options are available, there may be more hope for me. Think what they may discover in ten years' time!"
"But Kathleen," Elizabeth said incredulously. "You could be throwing away the chance to correct it all now! I know you're frightened, sweetheart, but at least hear what the doctor has to say."
Kathleen shook her head again. "No, Mum. I'm not ready for that. I don't want to hear the facts, recited coldly, about why my baby had to die, and why I may never be able to have another one." Tears were slipping down her cheeks. "I need more time." She repeated in a whisper, "I need more time."
Elizabeth pulled her daughter close and held her tightly. As a mother she could understand Kathleen's pain. Although she had been fortunate to have never experienced the loss of a baby, Elizabeth had comforted her own sister when Jane had suffered two miscarriages. This new facet of parenthood was not one she had anticipated, nor wished to repeat with any of her children.
"I'm sorry to have upset you, Kathy. If that is your choice, then I won't bring up the subject again."
Kathleen sniffled. "You didn't upset me, Mum. I know you're just looking out for what's best for me. I really appreciate everything you and Dad have done for me and Jason."
Elizabeth bowed her head. "We love you dearly, Kathleen. There is nothing we wouldn't do for you, or any of our children."
They sat together on the bench, in the sunshine, not saying any more.
Anna squinted into the mirror, trying to put her lipstick on straight.
"Blast these contacts!" she grumbled. In fact, it wasn't the contact lenses, but that her eyes were in no condition to be open at this hour of the morning.
A tired looking Christine, her roommate, appeared in the doorway of the bathroom. "What on earth are you doing up so early? You came in well after I did last night. Or should I say this morning?"
"This morning would be more accurate," Anna grinned. "I believe it was around four."
Christine ran a hand through her blonde mane. "I don't know how you do it, Anna. And you manage to make it to class every day, too!"
"Well, I have to do that! I need to keep up with my studies or I'll have to live at home again! My parents would be so disappointed in me if I didn't pass this year." Anna smiled slyly at her friend's reflection. "Besides, I'd never have any fun living at home under my father's ever vigilant eye. Oh, I dread to think of how boring the summer is going to be!" She returned to applying her lipstick, although the task was rendered more difficult by her pouting expression.
The telephone rang, and Christine ran to pick it up. Anna could hear her from the other room and knew the caller wasn't for her. She finished her makeup and went to the kitchen for some coffee. By the time she'd poured two cups, Christine had joined her.
"Was that Phil?" Anna asked as she handed one to the other woman.
"Yes," Christine blushed slightly. "We're going out to dinner tonight." She sipped at her coffee. "Who were you with last night? I didn't see you leave the pub."
"Ed, Ted... something like that." Anna waved her hand dismissively as she popped a pain reliever into her mouth. "Doesn't matter what his name was. I won't be seeing him again! He was no fun at all."
"What are your plans for tonight?"
"Oh, I don't know." Anna peered at Christine and smiled. "Ah, you'd like me to vacate the place?"
"Not at all!" Christine protested. "Actually, I'd rather you didn't. I wouldn't want to be tempted."
Anna rose from the table and put her cup in the sink. On her way out of the room she patted her hand on Christine's cheek and said, "You don't know what you're missing, my dear!"
Will sank into an armchair with a sigh. Elizabeth looked up from her book.
"Tough day?" she asked, a small smile turning up the corners of her mouth.
Her husband paused before answering. "Not really. Just tedious." He studied her face as Elizabeth returned her attention to her reading. He loved to watch her absorbed in a task. Her expression was unguarded, and many times while she read, that expression would change in reaction to the content of the novel; as now, she smiled, frowned and chuckled at various points in her perusal.
He finally spoke up. "Elizabeth?"
"Hmm?" she said, looking at him once more.
"I need to ask you something regarding our son. Rich," he amended before her frown could deepen.
"What about Rich?" she asked.
"He's asked about going with Georgiana and Aaron to spend the summer in America." Will tensed, waiting for her reaction.
"That would be nice for him."
Will stared at her in disbelief. Reaching across the distance separating them, he lightly pinched her arm. "Are you the same woman I've been living with for twenty-one years? You look like her, but...."
"Oh, Will!" Elizabeth put down her book and moved to sit on his lap. "Just think of it as me finally coming to the realization that our children don't need their mother hanging onto them forever. What about you? Are you ready to set them free yet?" She twirled a finger in his hair.
"Free? I don't think that's quite what you meant, was it?"
Elizabeth's smile faded. "No, you're right. I'm just trying not to think about our eldest son."
"Ah." Will wrapped his arms about her waist and pulled her against his chest. "Shall we discuss the relative merits of each of our children?" Elizabeth nodded then laid her head on his shoulder. "Reverse order, then. Rich. He and Aaron have become very close. I think he's going to take it rather hard when it's time for them to say goodbye. I agree that it will be good for him to go to New York for the summer. I hope Georgiana is of the same opinion."
"I think she will be. It will keep Aaron out of her hair while she gets herself organized, too." Elizabeth snuggled a little closer. "Kathleen. I had a talk with her in the garden earlier. She's decided that she's not ready to deal with her medical options. I understand her feelings."
Will looked a little puzzled by this, but he wasn't about to argue the point. This was his daughter's decision, not his. "She has experienced something no child should ever have to go through. I wish there was more we could do for her. Kathleen has surprised me with her resiliency." He brushed some hair back from Elizabeth's face. "Now, Rebecca is very serious in her pursuit. I know she'll do well on her exams, then we'll have to start getting her ready for Europe."
Elizabeth let out a sigh. "I'm still not reconciled to her going, Will, but if you have no real objections.... or worries...."
"Well, I wouldn't go so far as to say that exactly, but we've allowed our two eldest to pursue the studies they prefer. It seems only fair to let Rebecca follow her heart as well."
"True." Elizabeth smiled. "That brings us to Anna. You've done well, my dear. You haven't been nearly so oppressive with your attentiveness to her interests as you could have been. I was afraid for a while that you were going to be a tyrant father, demanding she follow a curfew and come home every weekend."
"Oh, now that's not fair!" Will cried. "You know I've never begrudged our children the freedom to make their own friends and the opportunities to make their own mistakes. Anna has nearly completed two years at university and has managed to keep out of trouble. I know school has never been easy for her, she's always seemed to struggle, but I've tried to keep my nose out and let her go about her business on her own."
"I was only teasing, dear."
"Hmm. I see." Will pursed his lips. "Well, as for Ben....." He stopped. There was no cause for offhand remarks where this child was concerned. Both he and Elizabeth were greatly worried about what their firstborn was up to, and where it was going to lead him. "As for Ben, I don't know what else to say. We've talked through his situation seemingly on a daily basis. Quite frankly, I'm tired of waiting for him to come to us. I've made up my mind. Next week I'm going to find him and shake some sense into him."
Elizabeth sat up. "Oh, Will! You'll do that? I know that Anna told him he'd better present himself here soon, but I'd feel so much better if you could find him first. This nonsense has gone on long enough."
"It's gone on too long," Will grumbled. "I should have taken that boy down a peg or two when I had the chance." He smiled ruefully. "Of course, he's a lot bigger than me now, and could take me down a couple of pegs instead!"
"You know you wouldn't do anything so drastic."
"I'll use whatever method I have to, Elizabeth, to make Ben see sense! How could we have raised him to be so self centred and arrogant?" Will shook his head regretfully.
Elizabeth didn't reply, merely settled herself back into her husband's embrace and wondered how it would all turn out.
Ben fingered the letter in his hand, flipping the folded pages open once more. He read it, probably for the sixth time, then carefully refolded the paper and placed the letter in the envelope. His brow furrowed as he contemplated the contents again.
"No, it's better this way," he said aloud, rising from his chair. "It's better for everyone."
Briefly he saw Brenda's face before him. He winced, thinking of the pain he had caused her already, and knowing that he was about to cause more.
She'll get over it. She'll forget me, and get on with her life.
He gathered up the letter and left the flat. The sun had disappeared behind the tall downtown buildings by now, and the dimness of the dusky twilight suited Ben's mood perfectly. He walked quickly down the lane to the corner where the pillar box stood. For just a second he paused, the letter in his hand, wedged into the slot. Then he let it drop.
His only thought was to wonder what would become of Anna without her big brother watching over her every move.
Ben continued walking down to the next corner, ducking inside the familiar pub. Tomorrow he would set off for Pemberley. He still had some loose ends to tidy up before his letter made it to its destination.
Chapter Sixteen
"I'd love to bring Rich along with us!" Georgiana exclaimed. "There's no want of things to do in New York, and it will be easier on the both of them this way, I think. I was really dreading our departure day, but if Rich comes with us it won't be so difficult. I mean, Aaron won't be so difficult!"
Elizabeth gave a small laugh. "Well, don't expect me to envy you! Two thirteen-year-old boys! Thanks for the vacation Georgiana."
"If you're going to put it that way...." Georgiana smiled at her sister-in-law. "I think you could use a break after the last year, anyhow. I don't know how you and Will have managed to hold onto your sanity with everything that's happened."
Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't know either, Georgie. We'd better get things worked out with Ben soon. I'm not sure how much longer I can let Will keep up this pace. He is adamant about not giving up anything until Ben is ready to join him."
"Oh, that's not good," Georgiana said, eyes wide. "It can't possibly be good for him. Let me help you show him the error of his ways."
"Oh, he'd love that!" Elizabeth chuckled. "You may be forty-one, Georgiana, but to Will you're still his little sister."
"I assure you, Elizabeth, I do have some means left at my disposal. My brother can be putty in my hands with the right approach."
Elizabeth laughed. "Now, that I'd like to see!"
Georgiana grinned as well. "Then let's go find him."
They left the morning room in search of Will, and found him outside with a book under a tree. He looked up at the approach of his wife and sister. Seeing the determined expressions on their faces, Will's own changed to one of foreboding.
"Ladies," he said cautiously.
"Brother dear," Georgiana practically sang as she plopped herself down next to him. "About my taking Rich with us to New York. If I do this enormous favour for you, what do I get in return?"
"What do you get in return? What do you mean, you're doing me a favour?" Will was looking extremely puzzled. "I thought Rich was going with you to keep Aaron occupied so that you could get things done?"
"Oh please, Will!" Georgiana laughed. "I know you only agreed so that you and Elizabeth could spend more time alone in the summer. With only Anna and Kathleen here you should be able to manage that quite easily."
"What?" Will spluttered.
"So," she continued, blithely ignoring his protestations. "I expect you to put aside some of that work you have your nose buried in, stop neglecting your wife so terribly, and spend some quality time romancing her. Or have you forgotten how to do that?"
"Excuse me?" Will glared at his wife. "You put her up to this, didn't you?"
Elizabeth looked at him in wide-eyed innocence.
"I think you both could use a nice vacation somewhere," Georgiana was saying. "Anna could take care of things here, and you and Elizabeth can plan a trip to someplace exotic. Just think! Warm tropical nights under the palms.... Oh, it would be just like Tahiti!" Her eyes narrowed and she peered at her brother slyly. "You remember Tahiti, don't you?"
Will's face reddened.
"You've been working far too hard, Will. All of this stress with the kids isn't good for you either." Georgiana winked at Elizabeth. "Why don't you just take some advice from your little sister and spend a couple of weeks away from here on a romantic holiday with your wife?"
Will appeared to be considering her suggestion. He glanced up at his wife. "Elizabeth?"
She smiled. "I like the idea."
"It's not really a good time right now, though." Will frowned slightly. "Not until we get this mess with Ben out of the way."
"We can still make plans," Elizabeth pointed out. "You need the time away, Will."
"You can't wait forever for Ben," Georgiana added. "You have to look after yourselves first. When was the last time you took a vacation, Will?"
"Okay, I admit it's been a while," he relented. "And I intend to see this thing with our son resolved before the end of next week!" Will suddenly smiled. "Tahiti sure sounds tempting." He looked up at Elizabeth again. "Go ahead and see about making arrangements. I'll organize my schedule around whatever dates you choose."
Georgiana stood up. She grinned at her sister-in-law. Elizabeth bent down to give her husband a kiss.
"Thank you, Will. This will be a well-deserved holiday, and one I'll make sure you never forget!"
As the ladies returned to the house, Elizabeth whispered, "I see you haven't lost your touch, Georgiana. Thank you."
Anna put her glass down and checked her watch. It's too late to start driving home now. Not that she was particularly bothered by that fact. Although curious to see what her brother had in mind in confronting their parents, she was equally eager to avoid any subsequent fallout, as there was sure to be a plentiful supply of it!
I'll just call and tell Mum I'm not coming home this weekend.
Satisfied with her decision, Anna stretched her legs out across the length of the sofa and picked up the phone. "Hello, Mum?"
"Anna, haven't you left yet? You'll never make it here in time for dinner now."
"That's what I was calling to tell you," Anna replied. "I got distracted with some research and lost track of the time. I'm not going to come home after all."
"Hmm," her mother said. "I hope you'll remember to look at the clock once in a while next weekend, just so you'll make it home one time this month."
"Do I sense Dad's disapproval in your tone, Mum?" Anna snickered.
"Well, you know he worries about you," Elizabeth said. "I realize it must be far more entertaining there than coming home all the time, but could you make an effort next week to put in an appearance? For your Dad, not me."
Anna frowned and sat up straight, swinging her legs to the floor. She didn't quite like the sound of that. "Mum? You're scaring me. There's something wrong, isn't there?"
"No, Anna," Elizabeth replied quickly. "With Ben shutting us out, and everything else that has happened to this family over the last year, both of us are feeling a bit more concerned about all of you children. Please think about what I've said. Your father won't ask you."
Anna still couldn't help thinking there was more to it, but knew her mother wasn't going to say any more on the subject. "Okay, I promise I'll be home next weekend for sure, Mum."
"Thanks, Anna."
"And Mum? Don't worry about Ben. I'm sure he'll come home soon."
"It had better be soon. He's just about run out of time."
Anna puzzled over that remark long after she had hung up.
Ben crossed the hallway and peered into the study. Empty. He stood for a moment, musing over his father's habits at this time of the day. He glanced at his watch and then headed for the library.
The hour was late, and Ben knew that his father often read in the library in the evenings. He slipped quietly down the length of corridor, not wanting to disturb anyone else in the house if at all possible. He needed to have this out with Will before he talked to his mother.
The library door was closed. Ben tapped lightly. When there was no answer, he pushed the door open and stood in the opening. A slight smile touched his mouth when he saw Will sprawled in one of the chairs, sound asleep. A book was open in his lap.
Ben closed the door softly and crossed the room to sit in a chair opposite his father. He frowned, wondering just how he should wake him. He had rehearsed his lines all the way to Pemberley from Cambridge, but now that he was here, it didn't seem quite so clearcut.
I'm going to New York, Dad. Uncle Richard's lined up a job for me and I'm leaving right after I've finished my last exams.
Ben shook his head. That wouldn't do. Too blunt.
I can't stay in England anymore, Dad. There's nothing for me here.
No. He was still puzzling over it when he saw Will stir.
"Dad?" he said softly.
Will's eyes cracked open. He blinked in surprise. "Ben? Ben, when did you get here?"
"Only a few minutes ago." Ben took a deep breath. "Dad, I needed to talk to you."
Will shifted his position carefully and placed his book on the table beside him. He waited for his son to continue, eyeing him warily.
Ben's eyes were glued to the floor. He squared his shoulders and met his father's gaze. "I know I've behaved like a complete imbecile over the last couple of months." He gave a short laugh. "Brenda told me to grow up, and she was right. I've been acting like a child, a spoiled child. I should have come to you long ago and cleared this up, but I was too stubborn."
"So what brings you here, now?" Will asked drily.
"I felt I should inform you of my plans."
Will sat up. "Your plans? What is this?"
Avoiding his father's piercing glance, Ben said in a calm, cool voice, "Uncle Richard has helped find a position for me over in New York. I'm leaving for America as soon as I've completed my final exams."
"America!" Will exclaimed. "America? And just what do you think your mother will have to say about this? Have you no consideration for her feelings? You've hidden yourself away for the last two months, not deigning to speak with any of us, and now you show up just to announce - no, not announce - you sneak in here to tell me, so that I can do your dirty work for you! Well, I'm not going to do it, Ben. You'll have to face your mother on your own!"
If Ben was surprised by his father's outburst, he didn't show it. "Very well. I knew you wouldn't just accept my apology and my decision, too."
"What apology?" Will said in a steely voice that matched the look he levelled at his son. "I heard no apology for the weeks of heartache you inflicted on your mother, as she worried about whether you were dead or alive. You thought of no-one but yourself, Ben. Not even Brenda, who you claim to love more than your own family!"
Ben's expression hardened. He looked down at his hands as the fingers clenched and unclenched. Thus he failed to see the brief grimace of pain that crossed Will's face. "I love Brenda more than you can imagine."
Not more than I can imagine, I'm sure! Will thought.
"And that's one of the reasons I'm leaving." Ben sighed.
Will attempted to keep the pain out of voice. "I don't get it, Ben. You love her, so you're leaving?"
"She's made it clear that she doesn't want me. The only way I can even try to forget her is to get as far away as possible."
Will blew out his breath sharply and stood up. "How can you be so thick, Ben? Running away? Do you honestly think that's going to solve anything?"
"I'm not running away!" Ben's eyes narrowed as he drew himself up straight and faced his father.
"Oh, right!"
Ben paced back and forth angrily. "Call it whatever you like, then! I can't stay here anymore. You have no idea what torture it is for me! At least by going to New York I can start over again. It will only be for a few years, anyway, and by that time you might be ready to start taking things easy."
"Years? You have given that much thought to it, then?" Will's voice was strained, but the anger in it was unmistakable. "In all this time you've never once called Brenda to speak with her, to find out how she is feeling. You've thought only of yourself and your own wounded pride! So now you'll just saunter off to New York and expect everyone will be just fine with that? You insinuate yourself into this woman's life, toy with the affections of her children and then think you can just walk away from it all?" Will felt like spitting on the floor at his son's feet. "Yet you claim to love her. You know nothing of love! And what makes you think I would turn over any responsibilities to you after this? I am ashamed of you."
Ben started at the words.
"I am ashamed to call you my son!"
Ben looked away. His mind was struggling with his emotions. He thought he'd had it all worked out, all justified. He hadn't figured on the man he most admired being ashamed of him! He turned back to face his father, but Will was no longer maintaining the angry stance that Ben expected. Instead, he had fallen back into his chair, his face contorted with pain. His son could see him struggling to breathe.
"Dad? Dad!" Ben knelt by his side, panic in his voice. "Dad, what is it? What's wrong?" He waited anxiously for Will to say something, but his father was silent, his eyes closed and hands trembling. "Talk to me, please Dad! Say something!"
Ben glanced around wildly. He ran to the door, flinging it open and came face to face with his mother.
"Ben!" she cried, then saw the expression on his face.
"Mum!" He grabbed her arm and dragged her into the room. "It's Dad!" He couldn't bring himself to say what he was thinking, what he was fearing.
Elizabeth rushed toward her husband. "Will, where are your tablets?" Her head turned side to side as her eyes scanned the room. She spotted the bottle on the desk in the corner, and raced over to grab it. Pouring them out into her hand, she quickly brought them to Will and placed one in his mouth. Anxiously, she waited, watching his face for the signs that the medication was working.
It seemed an eternity before Will's facial muscles started to relax, and his breathing became more regular. Elizabeth sat down next to him, taking his hand in hers.
"Better?" she asked softly, her brow still creased with concern. Will nodded, not trusting his voice.
Ben was standing near the door, well away from where his parents were sitting. His thoughts were racing, but uppermost in his mind was the horror at what he had caused. He was positive that what had just happened was all his fault. And if his father had........
No! I won't think about that!
"Ben."
His head jerked up at the sound of Will's voice. His mother was watching him closely. Ben swallowed and came forward a few steps to stand at his father's side.
"Dad, I'm.... I'm sorry." Ben lowered his head, unable to meet either of their gazes. "Please, Dad, forgive me." He looked up at Elizabeth. "Mum? Is he going to be alright?"
She looked away briefly, then met his gaze. "Yes. This time. Just go if you're going, Ben. Don't stay because you feel guilty about your father's condition. We'll get along without you. We have for the last two months."
Ben winced at the bitterness in his mother's voice. He knew he deserved all that she had said, and more. "I'm sorry, Mum." He didn't know what else to say.
"It's not good enough."
"Elizabeth," Will said softly.
"No, Will," she snapped angrily. Her eyes blazed at her son. "As if I didn't have enough to worry about with your father and his attacks, not knowing whether you were alive or dead or contemplating one of them was sure to rob me of any peace of mind! I'm sorry just isn't going to cut it, Ben! You'd better come up with something better than that."
Ben's eyes grew fearful as he watched his mother tapping her foot impatiently. His father's disapproval was one thing to endure, but his mother's! And this went far beyond disapproval. She was livid. "I have no excuses, Mum. I was so wrong. I know that Brenda could never possibly forgive me, but what can I say, or do, to redeem myself in your eyes?"
This was the opening Elizabeth had been waiting for. "You can get back in your car, drive straight back to Cambridge and beg Brenda to forgive you."
Ben gaped at her. Will chuckled.
"What are you waiting for? I told you how you can redeem yourself, so go!"
"But... but...." Ben shook his head, trying to understand what she was saying.
Elizabeth sighed. "Ben, you are obviously miserable without Brenda. She's miserable without you. Stop torturing yourself, and her, and go back to Cambridge to see Brenda!"
Ben looked from his mother to his father. She was still tapping her foot, he was watching his son with raised eyebrows and amusement in his eyes. Ben suddenly realized what his father found humorous in this situation; his mother's anger and attention was focussed away from her husband for a change.
"But what about Dad?" he asked, worriedly meeting his mother's gaze.
"Go," Will said. "I'll still be here when you get back."
Ben paused for a moment, then started for the door. "I'm on my way," he said, then stopped in midstride. "What did you mean... Brenda is miserable without me, too? How would you know that?"
"We went to see her last week, Ben. She asked us to come meet her." Elizabeth waved her hands at him. "Stop wasting time!"
For the first time in weeks, Ben felt like grinning. So he did. He left the house with a smile fit to burst, hopped into his car and set course for Cambridge. He had a long road ahead, not just the one on which his car would travel, but he would use that time to plan out how to best effect his grovelling apology to Brenda.
Chapter 17
Ben waited in his car just down the street from Brenda's house. From here he could see the front door. There was a car parked in the driveway, and he knew it was her father-in-law's. Most Sundays Ian's parents came to take their grandchildren to church, while Brenda would alternate between accompanying them, and going to the service in the church around the corner.
Ben hoped that this was the Sunday she wouldn't be going with them.
It had been late when he had left Pemberley, and far too late to be calling on Brenda when he had finally pulled into the city. He had used that time on the motorway to collect his thoughts, determine a course of action, and marvel at how his mother had commanded him to go.
In between all of those thoughts, the image of his father laying back in his chair, gripped with pain, kept intruding. Ben had never felt so terrified in his life. Afraid that his father was dying before his eyes, all of his selfish thoughts had fled. He knew he couldn't go to New York. There was no way that he would leave his father now.
A sudden opening of the door drew Ben's attention to the front of Brenda's house. A man and woman appeared, taking the stone path toward the parked car. Kevin ran out of the house and made it to the car first, pulling open the door and hopping into the backseat.
Then Brenda was there, Sarah holding her hand. Brenda walked her daughter to the car and settled her into the seat beside her brother.
Ben held his breath, waiting to see if she was going to join her children in the back of the car.
Brenda stood up and pushed the door closed. The car began to back out of the driveway, the two children waving to their mother. Brenda smiled and waved back until the car was out of sight, then the smile faded from her lips. Head downcast, she picked her way back along the walk to the front door.
Ben waited until the door had closed before he made his move.
Brenda gathered up the coffee cups and took them to the kitchen. As she put the cream away in the refrigerator, her eyes caught the calendar fixed to the door with a couple of magnets. Two dates of significance sprang to mind.
Tuesday will be one year since Ian died and tomorrow will be eight weeks since I last spoke with Ben.
"Oh, stop it!" she said, irritated with herself. "Just stop it!"
Closing the door a little more forcefully than necessary, she leaned her back against it and lowered her head to stare at her feet. Brenda stood like that for several minutes, until the persistent knock at the front door brought her back to the present.
"Oh who could that be?" she grumbled. "It's Sunday morning for goodness sake!"
Shaking her head, Brenda pulled open the door. At first she saw nothing, and frowned, thinking someone was playing tricks. Then she looked down.
"Ben!"
He was on his knees, head bowed. Without looking up, he said, "I'm so sorry, Brenda. I was thinking only of myself. I hurt you, Kevin and Sarah, and it was inexcusable. Is it too late to beg you to forgive me? Please say it's not too late."
Brenda stared at the top of his head. Ben had never raised his eyes to meet hers, he continued to focus on her feet.
"Ben," she said again. "Oh, come in the house!"
He scrambled to his feet and followed her through the door and into the front room. Taking a seat on the sofa facing her favourite chair, Ben wasted no time repeating his earlier apology.
"I love you so much, Brenda, but I handled everything so badly. You were so right in telling me that I needed to grow up. I hope that I have. It's certain that my feelings haven't changed, and perhaps have grown stronger in light of what I fear I've lost." He met her eyes for the first time, trying to read what was reflected in their depths. "I should never have brought Kevin and Sarah into our dispute. I love your children as much as I love you, and hate myself for hurting them."
Brenda was silent for several minutes. Ben grew anxious as he restrained himself from pressuring her to reply. Finally she took a breath and spoke.
"I must admit that when you used my children to try and work your way back into my life I was more than angry. You had promised me in the beginning that nothing like that would ever happen, that my children would never become pawns on your gameboard. I could forgive you just about anything, but....." She bit her lip, searching for the right words. "Both Kevin and Sarah have been heartbroken at your absence. Kevin more than his sister, and he has been quite difficult to live with." Once again Brenda paused, her gaze flitting about the room, unwilling to meet Ben's eyes. "This Tuesday will mark one year since Ian died. When they came and told me he'd been killed in an accident at the factory, I thought my life was over. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that my two children were depending on me to get them through the heartache of our loss. Somehow I found the strength I needed to be there for them. Life got easier as time passed, and I fell into the routine of work, home and sleep. I kept going because there was no other option.
"Then you showed up. You made me laugh when I thought I didn't know how anymore. I felt as if I had woken up after a long sleep, and to see Kevin and Sarah laughing as well brought more joy to me than you can ever know. I wasn't sure if what I was doing was right. You are so very much younger than I am, and have seen so little of what the world has to offer. I was selfish, too, Ben. I wanted to hang onto you. I didn't want to share you with anyone, with anything. I played along with your game of secrecy because it was to my advantage, not yours. You were merely afraid of your parent's disapproval of our relationship. I was afraid you'd realize I wasn't what you wanted, or needed."
Brenda moved to sit next to him on the sofa. Ben took her hand in his and held on.
"I don't want to lose you, Ben. But neither do I want to hold onto you against your will."
"I'm hardly here against my will, Brenda." Ben glanced down at their joined hands, then looked into her eyes. "I have a confession to make, though."
"A confession?"
Ben nodded. "I wasn't planning on coming here today. I went home yesterday to tell my parents that I would be leaving for New York following my exams. Another example of my self-centred thinking. I just assumed you would never forgive me, that you wanted nothing more to do with me. So, I made arrangements with my uncle to find myself a job and that would be that! I was all ready to pack up and leave the country, leave my family, friends and... you."
Brenda's voice trembled slightly as she asked, "What made you change your mind about coming here?"
"My mother."
"Your mother?" she said incredulously. Brenda thought back to the tight-lipped woman who had sat on this very sofa less than a week ago. Hardly my staunchest ally!
"Believe me, I was surprised by her suggestion myself. Ha, suggestion! She ordered me to come here." He brought Brenda's hand up to press it against his lips. "My mother rules the roost at home. She is a force to be reckoned with, and not one that I have ever dared to cross. I am eternally grateful for her iron fist, for she has forced me to see myself in a different light, the way others see me. I didn't like the picture."
"But I still don't understand why your mother would send you back to me. I didn't think she was very impressed when she was here last week."
"She said you were miserable without me, and told me to come and beg you to forgive me." With those words, Ben moved to kneel on the floor at Brenda's side. "I'm begging you, Brenda. Please forgive me."
"Don't move." Elizabeth placed a hand on her husband's chest and pushed him back to a reclining position. "Stay very, very still."
She slowly reached her hand across him and WHAM!! "Got it!" she smiled in satisfaction as she flicked the bug away with a finger. "Now, what were you saying?"
Will shook his head, amused. "I was about to ask you why you thought Ben would be returning today? He left only last night. I should think if Brenda was willing to forgive him that he'd be remaining in Cambridge for a while at least."
Elizabeth chuckled. "If she'll forgive him? Of course she will. And then Ben will want to bring her here right away, so that everyone can meet her now that's it's pretty much out in the open."
"If you know our son's mind so well, why didn't you do something about this weeks ago?"
Frowning, his wife handed him a cup of tea. "It's not that I know his mind, but I wasn't in possession of all of the facts, earlier." She caught Will's smile before the teacup obscured it. "You're laughing at me! Stop it, or I'll be tempted to do something I shouldn't."
Rebecca suddenly appeared at the open french doors leading back into the house. "May we join you out here?" She gestured behind her to Kathleen.
Elizabeth straightened up in her chair. "Certainly! Bring your breakfasts out and keep us company."
The girls disappeared back inside and returned a few moments later with their plates.
"It's a bit early for you two to be up, isn't it?" Elizabeth asked.
"Not for me," Rebecca pointed out. "Actually it's a bit late for me, but I thought I'd skip the early lesson this morning." She looked behind her at the view of the lake. "It's nice out here. Why haven't we eaten out here before?"
Will glanced at Elizabeth. "We do regularly, Rebecca. At least, weather permitting. We have done so for many years."
"At least twenty-one," Elizabeth added, smiling warmly at her husband.
"I think we're intruding," Kathleen said quietly.
"Not in the least!" her mother quickly replied. "It's nice to have you girls join us this morning. I think Rebecca has a point, though. Perhaps all of us should eat out here once in a while."
Will raised an eyebrow in her direction, years of quiet, intimate breakfasts together uppermost in his mind. "If that is what you would like, my dear, I'm sure we can arrange it."
"I did say once in a while," Elizabeth said with the sort of smile she reserved especially for him.
Somehow, Will couldn't imagine breakfast out here being quite as relaxing once Rich and Aaron were added to the picture. "Special occasions, then?" he ventured doubtfully.
"Birthdays!" added Kathleen, fully aware that only she and Ben were lucky enough to have birthdays during tolerable weather.
Elizabeth laughed. "Birthdays it is! Ben's is coming up in a few weeks. I think we should plan something for then. We may have a few things to celebrate by that time."
Kathleen and Rebecca exchanged confused looks.
"Your brother payed us a visit last night," Will explained. "But, Elizabeth, do you really want a breakfast celebration? Dinner would be more appropriate I should think."
"Ben was here?" Kathleen squeaked. "Is he upstairs?"
Elizabeth shook her head. "No, we sent him back to Cambridge last night."
"Oh, now I'm really confused," Rebecca muttered. "What are we celebrating?"
Elizabeth put her teacup down and patiently addressed her daughters. "Ben went back to Cambridge to see Brenda. I expect that he'll return home with her today."
"Oh, we finally get to meet his girlfriend??" Kathleen's smile lit up her face.
"Don't get excited yet," Will cautioned. "Your mother may be getting ahead of herself, here."
"Nonsense," Elizabeth countered. "They'll be here. You'll see."
Will wisely said no more on the subject, while the ladies began planning the afternoon.
"When will the kids be back?" Ben asked. He took another bite of the crepes that Brenda had made for them. Neither had eaten any breakfast that morning.
She glanced toward the clock on the wall. "Another hour I think. John and Marian were taking them out for lunch after church."
"I'd like to take all of you to Pemberley this afternoon, so the rest of my family can meet you."
"Today?" Brenda looked at him in surprise. "But it's a long drive there and back. Do we have enough time to do it in one day?"
"We can stay there tonight. Don't worry about school and work. It won't hurt the kids to miss one day, and you can call in sick or something." Ben twined his fingers with hers. "Please?"
Brenda hesitated only long enough to smile at him. "I'll need to ring Andrea about the change in plans for tomorrow, then."
"Great!"
"And you can help me pack up some clothes for Kevin and Sarah after we've finished eating."
Ben grinned. "Yes, Ma'am!"
Less than an hour had passed when they heard a car pull into the drive. Brenda looked at Ben apprehensively. Ian's parents knew nothing about him, and she was unsure of their reaction.
The front door opened and Kevin rushed in.
"Mum! Mum, I saw Ben's car out front! Is he here?" The boy's footsteps could be heard pounding through the downstairs rooms.
Brenda came down, Ben behind her, just as John, Marian and Sarah entered the house. Kevin materialized through the doorway from the kitchen.
"BEN!" he yelled, and launched himself toward the man.
Ben caught the boy and lifted him up. "What have you been eating, Kevin? You must be twenty pounds heavier since I last saw you!"
Kevin laughed. "Don't stay away so long next time."
Sarah now came forward eagerly for her share of his attention. Ben lowered Kevin to the floor and knelt beside the little girl.
"How's my sweetheart?" he said, giving her a hug. "Have you been good for your mum?"
"I missed you, Ben," Sarah said. "Are you staying with us forever, now?"
John cleared his throat loudly, startling Brenda.
"Ben," she said, drawing his attention to the couple still standing in the front entry. "This is John and Marian McIntyre. John... Marian..... this is Ben Darcy."
John grunted something that Ben assumed passed for a greeting. He extended his hand to the older man, but there was no response. Ben nodded his head toward Marian, who merely pursed her lips and remained silent.
"Would you like to come in for some tea?" Brenda enquired tentatively.
"No, thank you," John replied abruptly. He cast a glance in Ben's direction before turning to Brenda once more. "Perhaps a word with you......?"
Ben caught his meaning. "Come on you two," he said to the children. "Let's go out in the back garden. It's too nice a day to be inside."
They didn't need to be asked twice. Kevin took one arm and Sarah the other, the two of them dragging Ben out the back door.
Brenda led the way into the front room, her mind devising and discarding ways to broach the subject with her late husband's parents.
All three were silent for a moment after sitting down. Then John spoke up.
"Are we to assume that you have become involved with this Ben person?"
Brenda frowned. "I mean no disrespect, John, but could you please refrain from referring to him as 'this Ben person'? I know this is a difficult matter for you to discuss, but eventually I was going to become involved with someone."
"Ian hasn't been gone a year, yet!" Marian spat out. "And here you are, flaunting your affair in our faces!"
"I am not flaunting anything!" Brenda cried. "Ben showed up unexpectedly this morning. He's not been around for quite a while."
"So we gathered from Kevin's little speech." John remarked sharply. "Is this good for the children, this man popping in and out of their lives like this?"
Brenda narrowed her gaze. "I'll thank you to remember that they are my children and I do know what's best for them."
Marian suddenly rose from her seat. "Come along, John. I can see she's not willing to listen to common sense." She turned to her daughter-in-law. "He's just a youngster, Brenda, and sooner or later he's going to come to the conclusion that an older woman with a couple of kids is hampering his lifestyle. Do yourself, and the children, a favour and send him on his way before it goes too far." She marched out of the room without waiting for a reply.
John stood up and followed her out, without another word to Brenda.
She sat silently fuming until the sound of the back door opening and closing brought her attention back to the present.
"Brenda?" Ben's voice was very quiet. "Are you alright?"
Sighing heavily, she turned to look up into his concerned face. "I'm fine. I suppose it could have gone better, but I have to remember that this is a very emotional time for John and Marian. That's the only reason I'll excuse them for their rude and insulting remarks." She wearily dropped her face into her hands. "They don't seem to realize that whatever my involvement is with you, I am still hurting over Ian's death, and the memories are just as painful for me with the anniversary of his death so close."
Ben knelt down beside her and placed a gentle hand on her knee. "Would you rather we put off going to Pemberley for a while?"
Brenda sniffled and met his gaze bravely. "No. Let's leave now. I want to meet your sisters and brother. I want to feel a part of your family at last."
Smiling, and eyes shining, Ben disappeared through the kitchen to call Kevin and Sarah in from the garden. Within minutes all four of them were tucked into Ben's car and on the road to Derbyshire.
Chapter 18
To the first time observer, the approach to Pemberley was breathtaking. The immense stone structure rose up from the green expanse of lawn, thrusting its way into the bright blue sky. Trees lined the laneway leading to the house, the dark foliage a stark contrast against the gray stone of the gates separating the private park from the more publicly accessible property of the estate.
"Oh, Ben. It's so beautiful!" Brenda didn't know where to look first as the car swept through the front gates. The wide lawn drew the eye up toward the lake, then across to the gardens that bordered the west side of the house, finally taking in the towering design of the residence itself.
Ben felt an unfamiliar rush of pleasure course through his veins with Brenda's words. Many of his friends had voiced similar praise upon first viewing Pemberley, but somehow it was very different coming from the woman he loved.
A flash of colour on the lawn transformed itself into the figures of Aaron and Rich, as the two boys raced alongside the drive ahead of Ben's car.
"Hey, Ben!" they yelled, waving as the vehicle passed by on its way to the carpark beside the house.
Kevin opened his sleepy eyes as they came to a halt, immediately sitting up to peer out the window at the strange surroundings. "Are we here?" His eyes opened wider when he spotted the other two boys approaching the car.
Aaron and Rich skidded to a stop just short of the open driver's door.
"Ben!" panted Rich. "It's about time you got here."
"What?"
"Mum's been expecting you all afternoon. Dad said you wouldn't be coming, but Mum -."
Ben was shaking his head. "Slow down, Rich." He pulled open the rear door to let Kevin emerge. "Kevin, this is my brother, Rich, and my cousin, Aaron."
"Hi Kevin." Aaron remembered his manners.
"Hi," Kevin shyly replied.
"And," Ben continued, waving a hand across the roof of the car, "this is Brenda."
Rich nodded in her direction. "Hi Brenda. Ben, can we take Kevin down to the lake with us?"
"Not yet, Rich. Just wait until he's had a chance to come in the house and meet our sisters. Then I'm sure you three can go and find some amusement away from the girls."
Disappointed, Rich grudgingly agreed and the two cousins led the way to the main doors. Brenda lifted her still sleeping daughter from the back seat and passed her to Ben. Together, they followed the boys into the house.
The first thing on Ben's mind was to see how his father was. He had been somewhat reassured that nothing was seriously wrong by the fact that Rich and Aaron hadn't said anything. Still, if his parents had kept Will's condition quiet so far, there was every possibility that they may have continued to do that.
Stepping into the front hall felt a little strange, since his absence from home had been so prolonged. The memory of the scene in the library the previous evening did nothing to help settle Ben's apprehension, either. Sarah shifted in his arms as her eyes opened and she gave a great yawn.
Brenda was gazing about in awe. She stepped closer to Ben at the sound of a door opening further down the hall.
"They're here!" they heard Rich call out.
"Everyone must be in the music room," Ben said quietly, taking Brenda's hand and leading her toward that room.
Kevin and the other boys were already making themselves comfortable when Ben brought Brenda to the open doorway. Everyone's eyes were turned toward him.
"Hi." he said. His eyes travelled over the faces arrayed around the room, coming to rest on his father's. Will appeared no different than Ben was accustomed to seeing him, and he sighed a little in relief.
"Come in, come in," his mother was saying. "Ben, introduce Brenda to everyone."
Ben smiled broadly and stepped into the room, bringing the woman at his side forward with him. "I'd like you all to meet Brenda, the woman I am trying to convince to marry me."
Will put his book down on the night table and looked across the room at his wife. "I think Ben caught Brenda by surprise with that remark."
"I know he did." Elizabeth paused in brushing her hair. "I'm sure she was well aware of his intentions long ago, but didn't expect him to tell the whole family like he did. He really put her on the spot when he said that."
Will grinned. "He sure did."
Elizabeth crossed the room and climbed into bed next to her husband. "You approve of what he did!"
"I do indeed!"
"Will!" She frowned slightly. "He's putting pressure on her, and making sure she feels it all the more by having to justify herself to all of his family as to why she won't say yes to him. It's not fair!"
Shaking his head, Will chuckled softly. "That's true enough. And I wish him the best of luck in attaining his goal. I would hate to see him as miserable as I was if he loses her, like I lost you all those years ago."
"And you think his ploy is going to work? You believe that Brenda will give in and marry him." She looked on incredulously as her husband nodded his head. "So what you're telling me is, if you had it to do all over again, you would have done the same thing? Pressured me into marrying you by embarrassing me in front of family and friends until I gave in?"
Will rolled over to face her and wrapped his arm around her waist. "I would have used every means at my disposal to make sure you became my wife." He drew her closer, nuzzling at her ear.
Elizabeth placed her hands on his shoulders and pushed him back. "And what makes you think I would give in?"
Will stared at her in surprise.
"Tell me! You honestly believe I would have bowed to that sort of underhanded, devious... arrogant sort of blackmail?" Throwing herself onto her back, Elizabeth laid on the pillows and crossed her arms over her chest.
Will looked at her thoughtfully for a moment. "Then you would rather I'd been miserable and unhappy, condemned to a life of loneliness and depression?" he asked softly.
Her defiant posture wilted in an instant. "Oh, Will." Large, round eyes were focussed on him. Her arms unfolded and reached out.
Will allowed himself to be drawn into her embrace. As she buried her face into his neck, he wrapped his own arms tightly around her and grinned.
"Where did you say the exit was?" Ben glanced over at Brenda who was nervously tapping her fingers on her leg.
"It's just a couple of miles further," she said, waving a hand in the direction of the road ahead. She looked at Ben worriedly. "Are you sure you want to do this?" Brenda shook her head. "What am I saying? Of course you want to. Do I want to do this?"
Ben chuckled. "Come on, they can't be that bad! What are you afraid they'll say?"
Sighing, Brenda glanced into the back seat to see Sarah asleep and Kevin with his headset on listening to music. She turned back to Ben. "It's what you're going to say that worries me! Remember that my family knew Ian for a lot of years. Please don't go talking about marriage while we're there."
"I promise to restrain myself." Ben pointed to the sign ahead. "Is this the road we want?"
"That's it!"
It was only another twenty minutes until Brenda indicated a street and Ben guided the car down the laneway to pull up in front of a modest home with a trim garden in the front. Kevin was the first out of the car and raced up the path to the front door. Brenda roused Sarah, who gazed sleepily around and then smiled. She scrambled from the car and set off along the path just ahead of her mother and Ben. Brenda stopped just outside the front door. Her children had already run into the house looking for their grandparents.
Brenda turned to face Ben. She fussed with the collar of his shirt and patted down the shoulders. "Okay, I told them at Christmas that I was dating somebody, but I didn't give them any specifics. When I called this morning, I warned them I was bringing you, so don't be surprised if they've invited my brothers over, too."
"Should we just turn around now and go home?"
Brenda gave him a resigned smile. "Smart aleck. Let's go in then," she said, taking his hand and leading him through the doorway. She called out to her parents as they entered the house and, hearing an answering voice from the direction of the kitchen, led Ben along the passageway toward the back of the house.
Kevin and Sarah had already settled themselves into chairs and were happily munching away on biscuits, each with a glass of milk on the table in front of them.
"Mum, Dad," Brenda said to the other couple in the room. "I'd like you to meet Ben Darcy. This is the man I told you I was seeing at Christmas."
Wayne Johnson stepped forward and shook Ben's hand. "Nice to meet you, Ben. Darcy, you say? Not any relation, I presume, to the Darcys of Pemberley?" He laughed. "Oh, that would be something, eh Barbara? Imagine, our little girl being a part of that old-money family!"
Brenda giggled.
"Actually, Mr. Johnson," Ben began.
"Oh, call me Wayne, please!"
"Alright, Wayne." Ben smiled at Brenda. "We just came from Pemberley, as a matter of fact."
"You what?" whispered Barbara. "No, no. You're having us on," she laughed. "Wayne, you remember when we took that tour of the estate? How long ago was that?"
"Oh, yes," he replied. "That was at least twenty-five years ago, now. Alan was only ten at the time, I believe."
Ben smiled. "You were there before me, then."
"I don't think they're joking, Wayne," Brenda's mother said quietly.
"No, we're not." Brenda was grinning. "We were at Pemberley last weekend visiting Ben's family."
"Really?" Barbara took Ben's arm and urged him to sit down. "So, is your father.....?"
"Will Darcy, yes." Ben dutifully took a seat next to Kevin and Sarah.
Barbara sat opposite him and shook her head. "Well, isn't that amazing? And how did you two meet, then? Brenda hardly socializes in the same circles that you do!"
"I told you, Mum," Brenda replied for him. "I met him at work while he was doing research for an assignment."
"Oh, yes. That's right, you did."
Wayne spoke up. "Well, you two are just in time! We were about to start getting dinner ready." He turned to Brenda. "Your brothers and their families should be here soon, and Alan is bringing the meat to grill."
Brenda looked at Ben. "Didn't I tell you they'd invite my brothers, too?"
He grinned. "You did. And I'm looking forward to meeting them."
Giving him a warning look, Brenda sighed, resigned that the meat wasn't going to be the only thing grilled that night.
People were milling about the common area following the convocation exercises in the main hall. It had been unbearably hot and stuffy indoors, and the speakers long-winded. Elizabeth breathed in the outside air and reveled in the freedom of being able to move her arms without knocking someone next to her. She felt an arm around her waist and looked up into Will's face.
"Shall we gather up the kids and make a quick escape?" he asked.
Elizabeth nodded and scanned the crowd, looking for Ben. "I think we'll all be happy to get out of this oppressive heat. Oh, there he is." She pointed across the common where Ben's curly hair was visible above the sea of heads.
"You stay here, then," Will said. "I'll go and bring them over."
Elizabeth watched him disappear into the crowd. A few minutes later he returned with Ben, Brenda and her two children.
"Congratulations, Ben," his mother said, her eyes misting just a little. "I'm so proud of you."
Ben smiled broadly and hugged her to him tightly. "Thanks to both you and Dad. You two have been my inspiration. I've never seen two people who've worked harder to get where they are. I actually remember your convocation ceremony, Mum, even though I was such a wee lad then."
"Must have been the huge crowd that stamped it on your memory." Will stooped down to pick up Sarah. "And what about you, little one? Are you and your brother ready to come stay at Pemberley for a few days?" She nodded her head eagerly. Will looked at Ben. "Shall we get their things from your car while Brenda and your mother sort out the details?"
Ben nodded. Will passed Sarah over to Elizabeth, and the two men walked off in the direction of the carpark.
"There you are! I thought I'd lost you." Georgiana suddenly appeared at Elizabeth's elbow. "Oh, hello Brenda," she added cheerfully, then smiled at the children. "My it's going to be a busy place at home with you two added to the mix. Aaron and Rich are looking forward to you joining them in their mischief, Kevin."
"Oh, dear," Brenda said. "Kevin, remember what I told you; be on your best behaviour and stay out of trouble."
"Yes, Mum," her son replied tiredly.
Brenda frowned, but Elizabeth laughed. "Don't worry, Brenda. He'll be just fine. There's nothing he can get into that my boys haven't already thought of."
Brenda still looked sceptical. Georgiana also laughed. "You'll have to ask Ben sometime about his childhood misadventures. That should set your mind at ease. If Elizabeth could survive all of that without any lasting damage, there's not much that Kevin can do to surprise her."
"Ben was that bad, was he?" Brenda grinned.
Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "I narrowly avoided heart failure more than once, I'll tell you! You know, it's the ones that are quiet and well behaved for the first few years that are the worst. You think you've got them trained, and then all of a sudden they're off and making up for lost time." Elizabeth sighed. "And the time just flew. Look at him now."
"Ben looked very handsome up on the stage this afternoon." Georgiana nodded at her sister-in-law.
"Mmmm.. yes, he did," Brenda agreed, her tone somewhat distant. She shook her head and smiled self-consciously.
"Where are you two going this weekend?" Georgiana enquired.
"I'm not sure. Ben wouldn't tell me exactly where this place is."
Georgiana glanced at Elizabeth. "Just like his father!" They laughed.
"Well," Elizabeth said with a smile. "In that case, you are in for a treat. Ben probably asked Will for some suggestions on where to take you. I think I have some idea of where my husband may have recommended."
A few minutes later, Ben and Will rejoined them.
"Well, shall we be off, then?" Ben looked at Brenda.
"I guess so!" she said. Brenda placed a kiss on Sarah's cheek and hugged Kevin. "You two be good," she reminded them yet again.
"Goodbye," Elizabeth said. "And don't worry about the children!"
"Bye, Mum." Ben took Brenda's hand and led her away to the car.
Elizabeth was chuckling. Will looked at her and raised an eyebrow.
"Ha! I'll bet you have conveniently forgotten how I had to drag you away from the children the first time we left them with Jane and Charles to go away for a few days on our own." Will favoured her with an amused grin.
Elizabeth made a face at him, and turned to his sister. "Come on, Georgiana. We have a party to start planning."
They began to walk away, Georgiana glancing over her shoulder at Will and giving him a haughty 'so there' look.
"Wait a minute!" he called after them. "What party? When?"