Part One ~ by Tiki Posted on Monday, 17 July 2000
The hall had been decorated, the food ordered. The invitations had been sent and received, and everybody from the class of 19__ was excited! In just a couple hours, their 10-year high school reunion was about to start. Everybody of course, but Caroline Bingley. She was in a great dilemma.
"Oh Louisa!!! Which dress should I wear?" Caroline laid the sickly orange dresses on her orange and puke green bed covers.
Mrs. Hurst, who by now was a very...let us say, large, woman waddled into her sister's room. "Well, I personally adore the orange one."
"YES Louisa. But which orange one?" Caroline's patience was wearing thin at her sister's stupidity.
Mrs. Hurst sat down heavily in a chair. "Um...maybe the really short one with the shoulder pads. And you must wear the gold sash too, my dear! What a great combination!"
Caroline was very satisfied, for the 1/4 thigh length dress was just what she thought looked best. The thick shoulder pads were an added bonus, of course. Carefully zipping the dress onto her rod-like body, she peered into her mirror. "What shoes Louisa?"
"The gold ones."
"YES, Louisa. But which gold ones?" Caroline strode angrily to her closet door, and opened it with a little more force than was required. She revealed a shoe rack covered with gold and orange shoes.
"Um...maybe the gold platform cowboy boots that have the orange and green leopard spots on them!" Mrs. Hurst giggled. "They shall make you taller than any gentleman in the room, I dear say!"
"Yes, I dare say they will! Ha, and they look so lovely on me too! You know, it is important that I dress the best out of anyone there, for I have my Miss Popularity title to uphold!"
"You might want to even do some of your cheerleading moves too, just to show everyone who's boss," added Louisa helpfully.
"Of course, sister! I wouldn't have dreamed of my reunion differently!" Caroline went back to the mirror to survey her look. "Oh, I know which hat will look best on this ensemble!"
"The turban with the feathers?" Louisa inquired from her chair.
"Exactly. I will look so beautiful tonight, and I am certainly going to eclipse every other woman out!"
"Of course, my dear. Of course!"
7:00 PM
The parking lot was full, and many other cars were driving in. An orange convertible, which had a huge sign saying "Caroline Bingley" on its side arrived. The car door opened, and one gold cowboy booted foot made its way through the open door. The other gaudy foot came out, and as if she was playing limbo Caroline Bingley made her way out of the car. (If she had not bent back, her turban would have flown off her head.) She strutted out of the car, and to the door. She made her way to the doorway, when
"Oh look! There's Caroline Bingley. Ughhhhhhh, I can't believe it. She made my life miserable all throughout high school! Ha! But she couldn't keep me away from Erik long enough! " Whispered Meggie, as she showed off her engagement ring. "She always used to try and come between us, but our love held strong!"
"I'm so happy for you, sweetie!" cried Tiki. "And I'm so glad that we kept touch through all these years! I still remember when you gave me the nickname "Tiki" when the school choir went to Disney Land, and we visited the Tiki Room...."
"And Caroline tripped over the benches, and fell flat on her face! That was the best day ever!" Meggie and Tiki giggled. "Tiki, I've heard that you have some special news of your own!"
"Well, my fiancée, James Blythe has a very interesting family. You see, his mother is the famous Anne Shirley! So many people have asked me about that, and if it was really true! So I am here to confirm that yes, it certainly is!" Tiki beamed. "Oh look! There's Kathy! And Kimmie!"
Kathy and Kimmie, who both looked sensational, made their way to the group.
After exchanging many hugs, the ladies settled down a bit. Meggie smiled a bit wistful and said, "Oh, how we have all changed! But we are still the same gang as always! I wish Coleen could have made it, and I'm not sure if Tabbi's coming. Caroline, our Caroline, Charlotte, and Ellie are coming for sure."
"Well, we all know that Caroline Bingley is here," said Kimmie darkly.
"Yes, we certainly do. I mean, who could miss that....SIGHT!" Kathy smirked.
"I could certainly do without it!" someone shouted out with vigor. Tiki turned around to see Tabbi!
"Tabbi! I am so happy that you could make it!" she exclaimed, and others murmured their agreement.
"Of course I came! Being CEO of a major car making company doesn't take up all of my time! And wild horses couldn't drag me away from the little gang!" Tabbi grinned.
"Seems like Caroline is still into her orange and gold hues, eh?" Kathy said with a mischievous smile.
"NEVER! I will never wear that blasted ORANGE color!" Caroline, the lovable one, shouted out. "Hey gang! So glad you could all make it!"
"So glad that you could make it!" Meggie reached out to hug Caroline. "And puh-lease, do us all a favor and don't follow your namesake's fashion sense!"
Kathy, who was on the lookout for other friends, spotted Ellie and Charlotte Lucas talking to other people. Ellie caught Kathy's eye, and nudged Charlotte. They both made their polite good byes, and came to join the circle. Charlotte spread the news of how she was married, and was heartily congratulated. Then Kathy made and announcement of her own.
"I am going to marry Lucas Harding!" she exclaimed happily.
"Congratulations!" shouted Tiki at the top of her lungs.
"Woo hoooooooooo!" yelled Kimmie.
"Finally!!!" screamed Ellie. "I was wondering when you two would finally hitch up!"
"YOWZA!!!!!" exploded Tabbi.
"Caroline Bingley tried to get to my Lucas! But he was disgusted." Kathy said angrily.
"REALLY? She tried to get my Erik too!" Meggie said heatedly.
"MINE TOO! Because he is filthy rich, and handsome too, and his family is so well known!" Tiki said ferociously.
"She tried to poison my business, because it made me richer than she is!" Tabbi said, her blood boiling.
"She almost slapped me, because my name is Ellie....close to Elizabeth. Our friend Elizabeth Gardiner, who married Will Darcy?" Ellie growled.
"I think mine is the worst crime of all!" Everybody turned to look at the lovable Caroline. "She almost had me arrested because she claimed that I stole her identity. ARRESTED!"
By this time, smoke was virtually coming out of the ladies noses and ears. Kimmie was outraged. "Let's say we do something about it."
"DO something about it?" Tiki questioned.
"Precisely. She tried to ruin our lives, so some public humiliation might put her in her place." Charlotte said matter of factly.
"Ooo, I am getting some very good ideas..." Tabbi had a small grin on her face.
"Ssssh! Everyone let the masters be at work!" Meggie knew that the group was very creative.
"I GOT IT!" shouted Kathy. "Melvin, (remember him?) is running the kitchen. I'm sure we could get some raw eggs from him...."
"And look! Hahahaha! I have my whoopee cushion! I never go anywhere without it!" Tabbi added.
"Typical Tabbi!" Kimmie remarked. The group laughed.
"I could snatch her turban for a while, and take out the feathers and substitute the feathers with little signs! Needless to say, they will have very pleasant things on them!" Charlotte said sarcastically.
"I'll put some orange dye in her finger bowl. Her fingers will be so orangey clean after dinner!" Ellie said with a smirk.
"Lets not forget our fists," Meggie said.
Everyone laughed evilly. Cackled, was more like it.
"Oh, revenge can be oh-so-sweet." Ellie got her punch glass. "To revenge."
"Revenge on her highness of the toilet seat....and orangey!" Tiki finished for her.
Everybody clinked their glasses.
"But who's going to start it?" lovable Caroline asked.
"I WILL." Tiki said firmly.
"Are you sure?" Said Ellie nervously.
"I'm THIS sure. Just tell me where the Cheerleader's table is. " And with that, Tiki strode confidently over to the table.
Caroline was sitting in the middle of her so-called friends. She looked up to see a young lady with black hair, and dark brown eyes. She surveyed the lady's attire, and then asked coldly. "May we help you? Do I even know you? Does anybody know of you?"
"I think you do. I broke your nose. In third grade. We were playing some intense tennis."
"Oh yea! Caroline I sooooo like, remember, that! Like, the tennis ball just like, hit you! And you like, got a like, nose job!" babbled a fellow cheerleader.
"Shut up, Veronica! I didn't want everyone to know I got a nose job!" snarled Caroline, and she glared a ferocious glare down the table. "Your name is Tiki, isn't it? You are the one who is marrying James Blythe? Give him my condolences."
"Yes, my name is Tiki. And I've come to do exactly what I should have done a long time ago." Tiki glanced back at her group of friends, who were all gesturing wildly to give Caroline just what she deserved.
Tiki walked up to Caroline, aimed right for her ugly nose, and punched her. HARD.
"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Caroline yelled. She pulled her hand away from her nose, revealing a nose that was now completely squished to one side.
"But...I.....ahahahahahahahahah!!!" Tiki laughed uncontrollably. "Guess the plastic surgeon didn't do a good job the first time!"
Caroline raised her head, her eyes raging with anger.
"YOUR GETTING IT NOW, TIKI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"