Jump to new as of August 7, 2000
Posted on Tuesday, 11 July 2000
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.
There are also many other truths universally acknowledged and if they pertain to the story, the authoress shall input them when she deems necessary.
"What?" exclaimed Elizabeth Bennet as she bolted up right on the examining table. "You've got to be kidding me."
"No, I'm not kidding. I wouldn't kid about something like this. I'm not somebody who kids around, you know, kid?"
I need a new doctor, Lizzy thought. "Okay, shut up about the kidding."
"Okay," the doctor put on a serious face.
"So you're serious. But- how- I don't understand - I mean, I'm not- I haven't- I can't- I - I - ahhhhh!" Lizzy managed to blurt out.
"I think I can explain."
"You better."
"Well, you were in the hospital last month-
'For a totally unrelated reason.'
'Yes, right. So what happened was this......
Utterly and completely dazed, Lizzy made her way out of the hospital. She blinked in the bright fall sunlight and sighed.What am I going to do? Glancing at her watch, she figured that the easiest thing to do was return to work and try to focus on something else. Sitting in the Boston traffic (which seemed like a permanent fixture, along with the cranes of the Big Dig that dotted the skyline) a few minutes later, her thoughts turned back to what the doctor had told her. Why me? she thought, why me? I don't need this, I'm barely 23 years old, I have no family here, I'm at a dead end job that bores me and I haven't dated a guy since who knows when!
When she got to work, she knew that there was no way she was going to get any work done. Heading to the break room with her coffee mug in hand, she remembered the doctor telling her to stay away from coffee, among other things. Reluctantly, she picked up a bottle of milk and poured it into her mug. Healthy, she thought, Aunt Maddy would be so proud of me. Her aunt Maddy and Uncle Ed were always getting after her to eat healthy. Having no kids of their own, and being her only relatives, they had raised her since she was a baby when her parents died. They were like parents to her and two of her best friends. She was very introverted and didn't like to go out much but she had a few close friends, like her aunt and uncle.
Lizzy went through work in a daze. She didn't get anything done. She sat in front of her computer, trying to figure out why the 'body' tag wasn't working on the web page she was making. (Authoress's note- it's a really easy script, if you don't know html) ...<body> . . . . . . . </baby>
Hmmm, maybe I should learn to type...Or focus- A voice interrupted her thoughts. "Ms. Bennet? The boss needs to see you in his office right away. It's very important." His secretary said in her monotone voice. Even more confused now, Lizzy got up and followed the woman into Mr. Smith's office. "Ah, Miss Bennet, nice to see you." She replied and sat down in the seat he offered. "Well, let's get started, shall we? As you know, our company has just been bought by GFD Corp., a very prestigious computer company which is going to do us a lot of good. But as usual when one company buys another, we need to move some people around, adjust a little, you know, clean up the departments. I don't like where this is heading...I think I'm being fired. She was about to interrupt, but decided it wouldn't be a good idea. "Now, I just want you to know, that this isn't my decision, and I don't want to do this. And it's not you, its your work. Really, I think you're a wonderful person, and I really hate to lose you, but I have to do this. This is just what I need after this morning, Lizzy sighed.
Lizzy was even more confused as she made her way out of the office to her car later that afternoon. She didn't know whether she wanted to laugh or cry or both- or if she could. I suppose today isn't a good day to work late. I should go home and eat a real dinner for once, she thought dryly. Getting back in to the traffic, she slowly made her way home to her small, but expensive studio. Well, I don't think I'll be living here much longer, either way, based on today. After changing into her pajamas, Lizzy headed to the corner of the room that was her kitchen and ransacked it for food. 'Well, nothing here appeals to me. I guess I'll just order a pizza, huh Minka?' She looked at her cat, who looked back at her if she were speaking another language, as she usually did. "Well, I suppose that if I get a Russian cat, then I should speak Russian to it, right? sorry hun, no can do."
After she ate her pizza and tried to think about what she was going to do, Lizzy decided she had to talk to somebody. Picking up the phone, she dialed her aunt and uncle's number.
Hello, you've reached Maddy and Ed Gardiner. Unfortunately, we are not home right now. Please leave a message after the beep and we'll get back to you as soon as possible. Thank you.
"Arrgghhhh. Why aren't you there when I need you? Come home, please. I need to talk to you, desperately!!"
Lizzy hung up the phone and sighed. Next and last on her list was the only other person she knew well enough to talk to. 'I guess I'll call Charlotte and hope that Bill doesn't answer the phone. Ewww, he's so disgusting, I don't know what ever possessed her to marry him.
"Hello, Charlotte Lucas speaking."
"Lucas? Have you finally come to your senses? When did you go back to using your maiden name?" Lizzy was getting even more confused.
"Oh, hi Lizzy. I'm good, How are you? It's so nice to talk to you."
"Char, did you not tell me something? Or did I somehow forget? Not likely, I wouldn't forget the great jubilation that I would feel if you left Bill."
"Well, I did leave Billy- for good. Last week. I decided to get out, I was wasting my time and I can do much better."
"Char, I'm so glad, I'm really happy for you. But, how are you doing with it all?"
"Absolutely fabulous, sweety darling!" Charlotte replied with a giggle that Lizzy hadn't heard in a long time.
"Oh good, because I have some news that is really going to shock you."
"Good or bad?"
"Um, I haven't decided that yet. I think both. It's two things and- you're going to be shocked. I still can't think about it rationally."
"Oh my gosh, Lizzy, are you getting married?"
"Um, no, I'm not. I had always wanted to do that before..."Lizzy thought out loud sadly.
"Lizzy, what's going on? Is everything okay?" Charlotte sounded concerned.
"I got the most incredible news today. Two things. I don't know if I should laugh or cry or what. I don't know if it's good or bad. So far, I'm leaning towards it not being good, but not incredibly bad. I don't know what to think."
"Lizzy, I'm getting confused. What is going on?
"I don't know. I don't know what to think, I don't think I can think." Lizzy was babbling.
"Okay, Lizzy, calm down. Just breathe." Charlotte was getting exasperated, but she was also concerned for her friend.
"No, I'm calm, just confused."
"Well, what is it?"
It is a truth universally acknowledged that when people these days get power, they immediately find the craziest, most controversial way to use it. Or something like that.
"Are you sitting down, Char?"
"Yea, Lizzy, I'm sitting. Please, tell me what's going on before I freak."
"I'm pregnant. I'm going to have a baby."
"Wow. You're serious, aren't you? I can't believe it. That doesn't seem like you Lizzy. You aren't the type that has flings or sleeps with random guys, or even dates a lot. You haven't had a date since that time you went out for coffee with Rich, that guy from work. And I know how you feel about sex before marriage. Wow. Okay, I know this is going to sound like a stupid question, and I'm not looking for a lecture on the birds and the bees, but how did you get pregnant?"
"Well, it's a good question, Char." Lizzy laughed. "And a complicated answer. But here it goes."
Flashback to the doctor's office.
"I don't see how I could be pregnant. I wasn't born yesterday, so I know how it works, and trust me, its impossible."
"Well, see, that's were you're wrong" said the doctor. "It is possible for this to happen"
"And pray tell me, how is that?" Totally convinced that her doctor was crazy, Lizzy was trying not to laugh, as strange as it seemed.
"Well, there's been a lot of work done in genetics recently, especially in the area of reproduction. Some scientists, at this particular institution, have experimented with manipulating chromosomes so that they act as other chromosomes. It could be very useful someday. They decided to take it one step further and manipulate these chromosomes so that they can reproduce. And they decided to test it out on some volunteers." (Author's note- this is really crazy, but just go with me, okay?)
Here Lizzy interrupted the doctor. "So far, I understand the scientific bit. But I fail to see where I come into this, though I am beginning to get it and I don't like it."
"Okay" said the doctor. "Well, you were in the hospital at the time, having a knee operation. The doctor on call had to rush off to the ER because of an accident and the doctor who took over for her is kind of new here. He mistakenly thought that you were one of the women participating in this study and after your surgery, he had you returned to the room with the other women waiting for the procedure."
Somebody has been watching too many soap operas, Lizzy thought. She sat there, going over this in her head and then she spoke. "So, I'm pregnant, with my baby, but in reality, we're some part of a freak science experiment created by some people who probably have no lives and sit around watching Aaron Spelling TV shows. Because that's what this sounds like. Great. Well, this really makes my day."
"So you want to keep the baby? Because if you want to terminate it, we can arrange that."
"G--, no! I would never do that. That's murder."
"That's okay. I assume that you wouldn't want to sue us either?"
"Maybe, if I wasn't suing you over a person, I wouldn't hesitate. But I could never sue over a baby- especially my baby!"
"Wow. Lizzy, this is outrageous. Are you sure you want to do through with this?"
"Of course. There is no doubt in my mind I'm going to keep this baby. What I'm going to do with it is another story. But there's more."
"Oh dear."
"I almost lost my job today. Well, I kind of did, because I'm not going to have that job anymore."
"Oh dear. Lizzy, you didn't have a good day."
"Well, I did hear that you left Billy. That made up for it."
"Yea, I guess so. But how did you nearly lose your job?"
"Well, you know how we've been bought by GFD Corp. So, they're getting rid of some people. I was called into Mr. Smith's office today- and you know what an a** he is. He starts telling me how sad it is to lose me, and how he doesn't want to do this, etc. Then he tells me there's going to be a meeting in half an hour, and I have to be there."
"But he hadn't yet told you that you were fired?"
"Right. So I go to this meeting, there's probably about ten of us and he tells us that as of today, we are done working here. Then he spent about five minutes trying to figure out why there was all this info about the people being transferred, when he didn't transfer anyone, he just fired us. I pointed out to him that the page had a back to it and there was more information on it. And as it turns out, it was regarding me and two others, who are being transferred. And promoted. To Ireland. The Headquarters."
"Oh Lizzy, that' wonderful!"
"I know Char. After I found that out, I just couldn't help myself. I was so overwhelmed, I just started laughing. Rick had to practically carry me out of the room. He's going to Ireland too, so that will be nice. So, I'm going to Ireland. A week from Monday. Normally, I would be excited to be moving to, or rather, back to Ireland." Lizzy had always wanted to return to Ireland, where she was born, but never had the chance. "But the whole baby issue kind of messes it up."
"Well, duh Lizzy ,they have babies in Ireland too."
"Yea, but with a new job and all, I don't know how much time I'm going to have to take care of it."
"Well, Lizzy, if they want you and value you so much that they're transferring you to Ireland, then they can accommodate you."
"Yea, I guess so. And I do get a lot of benefits, especially since they're making me move abroad."
After talking to Charlotte a little while, Lizzy said goodbye and decided to try to sleep. Looking at her reflection in the bathroom mirror, she smiled. Of course I'm not going to get any sleep. I'm pregnant and I'm moving to Ireland. She started laughing, tears streaming down her face as she looked at her self. Once she had calmed down, and had a nice cup of hot milk, she went to sleep.
The next morning, Lizzy woke to the smell of pancakes and bacon. Mmmm, I suppose it would be too long till the smell of that will make me sick she thought. Opening the curtains around her bed, she saw her aunt and uncle with the paper and breakfast waiting for her.
"Oh Lizzy, you're up dear. We got your message and decided to come right over, it seemed very urgent."
"Thanks, aunt Maddy. Yea, um, we have to talk. I have some urgent news."
"Well, I don't know about you ladies, but I'm hungry. Can we talk over breakfast?"
"Of course, uncle E! Food always comes first. "
Over breakfast, Lizzy told her aunt and uncle just what she had told Charlotte the night before. Just like her friend, they were shocked but very supportive.
"Lizzy, I want you to know, we're behind you all the way, so if you ever need help, don't even hesitate to ask."
"Thanks. You guys are great. There's so much I have to do before I leave. I have to clean out my apartment, do something about my cat, find a new apartment in Dublin, then at some point I'm going to have to find a nanny or some type of baby-sitter-"
"Oh, Lizzy, I just had a great idea."
"What is it, aunt Maddy?"
"I have a friend in Ireland, Marie. She has a daughter whose your age and just finishing up college in the spring. I think she said she was studying childhood development or something like it, but she wants to take some time off of school before going back and she hasn't get a job yet. You two could share an apartment and she could take care of the baby for you while you're at work."
"That would be great aunt, but do you think she would want to do that? It's a lot to ask."
"Oh, she'd love to. Marie runs a foster home, but Jane is her own child and has always been a great help to her. How about if I call Marie and she can talk to Jane and have her call you."
"Oh, that would be great if it works out. Then, I'll have someone to help me get adjusted and show me around and all that."
"Then its settled. I'll call Marie tonight."
During the week, Lizzy packed up her apartment and took care everything with the help of her aunt and uncle. She gave her cat to Charlotte, who had always wanted a cat, but Billy wouldn't let her have one. Lizzy also talked to her new boss when he came to visit and told him about her being pregnant, but he said it wouldn't be a problem at all. All too soon, it was Monday morning and Lizzy was getting up at 6 to catch her flight to Dublin.