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Chapter 7 ~ Unburdening
Part One: Pemberley
Mrs. Bingley arrived that afternoon at Pemberley with her infant. Mrs. Darcy had spent the whole day crying in her room, but she rallied herself to be the mistress of her home when she heard the horses ride up outside. Elizabeth flew out to receive Jane, feeling the first genuine happiness she had known since she had first proposed Kitty's visit.
She, Georgiana and Kitty forgot their differences for an hour in order to coo over Little Charles. The three new aunts exclaimed passionately to the new mother that he was the most perfect baby in the world. The sight and scent of the baby keenly affected Elizabeth, and she cradled her nephew to her breast with a faraway look in her eyes while Kitty led them pal mal through the house in an attempt to show Jane everything at once.
Jane was overcome by Pemberley and though she was quite tired, allowed herself to be toured through the greater part of the lower west wing before protesting that she must rest. Kitty and Georgiana were peeled from Little Charles by Mrs. Reynolds and sent off to their music lesson. The housekeeper then took Little Charles himself away for a nap so that Lizzy and Jane finally had a moment to regard one another unimpeded. They embraced in the old way, and walked slowly, arm in arm, to take their tea together.
"Well Miss Lizzy," said Jane teasingly when she was satisfied that all the servants were out of hearing, "this is quite an estate. I remember when you thought you might have to choose between marrying for love, and marrying for more material considerations!" Both sisters laughed at the memory.
"Oh Jane, how I have missed you."
"And I you." Jane shone her clear blue eyes at her sister. "But truly Lizzy, this is very great. My imagination did not go this far when I dreamed what Pemberley must be like. You must be so happy here!"
"Yes, Jane. We are both very lucky"- Lizzy broke off. Her voice had failed her for the second time that day.
Concerned, Jane reached for her sister. "Are you quite well?" she inquired anxiously. Elizabeth made no answer, and Jane was puzzled. In a moment, however, something strange occurred to her.
"Lizzy-- where is Mr. Darcy?"
Elizabeth slumped. "He is gone."
"Gone!"
"To Glenstead. We have had a terrible... quarrel... oh, Jane!" She burst into tears to her sister's great alarm.
Jane came around the table and put her arms about her, soothing quietly. "Dearest, it cannot be so very bad. You must tell me what has happened."
Elizabeth confessed everything in a choked voice. She told of the tension of two weeks ago, the tumult of the visit to Stirling Manor, the horrible fight of yesterday, and the dismal parting this morning. Jane absorbed everything, deeply pained for her sister. But she was unable to agree with Lizzy that everything was 'completely ruined'.
"It is not- you know it is not. Mr. Darcy loves you, Lizzy. This shall pass, and all will be forgot."
"If Mr. Bingley compared you to Mama, I think you would not quickly forget it," snapped Lizzy through her tears.
"But he would not do so, for he"-
"For he loves you and does not want to hurt you!"
"For he has not Mr. Darcy's temper. And I have not yours," said Jane firmly. "You have known all along that yours was a marriage of excessive passions. You sought it out on purpose. How often have I heard you say 'I shall never be induced to marry except by the very deepest love?'"
"But I did not want this!"
"Lizzy, you must take it as it exists. You and Mr. Darcy have always been... worthy opponents." Jane's eyes glinted.
"I do not want a husband who is always my adversary!"
"That is not sound, you know it is not. You have had many happy months before this and you have a lifetime ahead. This is two weeks only, Lizzy. You must see it is not everything."
"Must you always be so very good? There is no hope of arguing with you."
"Perhaps there has been enough arguing at present," Jane suggested, stroking Elizabeth's hair.
"We have never fought before- not since we have been married."
"Well then, it was necessary! Every marriage must have its little tremors."
"Ha. Name one in yours."
Jane could not. They paused together, Lizzy taking comfort in the nearness of her sister. At last to pour out her troubles to an understanding soul! She sighed. Here was Jane, a new mother, saddled with worries of her own, and all she could do was add to her burdens.
"I am sorry Jane," she murmured momentarily. "I should be inquiring after you."
Jane laughed musically. "Don't fret, Lizzy. I assure you, I will bore you half to death with every detail of Little Charles' life, now that we are neighbours."
Lizzy sat straight up and looked at her sister. Little Charles. She was reminded of her own state, and grasped both Jane's hands in hers. "There is something else," she whispered. "Something I have told no one, not even William."
"What is it, Lizzy?" cried Jane in a hushed voice.
"Jane, I believe.... no, I am quite sure of it. Though I must still call the doctor."
"Good heavens!"
"It is not terrible. It is wonderful. Jane, I am going to have a baby!"
Jane's eyes filled instantly with tears and she embraced her sister tightly for her own recent pregnancy had taught her the depth of the experience. She was exultant- until she remembered. "You have not told Mr. Darcy?" she asked quickly. "But why not, Lizzy?"
"Do you not see? It is only just now a certainty, and I- I wanted it to be such happy news"- Lizzy's own eyes filled with tears again, but these were not tears of joy. "How could I tell him when we have been so remote from one another?"
"But you must tell him now- send word at once! All will be forgot in an instant when he knows."
"No, Jane. I want him to come back on his own. I want him to realize his fault, not take pity on my condition."
Jane sighed. "You have always been stubborn."
"Yes. You won't tell?"
Jane cocked her head to the side and considered. "I shall keep it to myself on two conditions. First, you must call a doctor to come this week."
"I will."
"And secondly, Lizzy, you must be happy! The storm is already over- for this clears away everything."
Elizabeth nodded, conceding to both Jane's conditions. Then she simply held on to her sister, hoping she could keep her part of the bargain.
Part Two: Glenstead
Darcy surveyed Glenstead with a masterful sweep of his eyes. So this was to be the Bingleys' home? It was a fair prospect. Somewhat larger than Netherfield it sat among the hills, its cream colored stones and pillars gleaming. It would suit the felicity of the Bingleys, but Darcy's face was drawn. At that moment, he would have traded Pemberley to Bingley in exchange for his perpetually good humour. Charles would never abandon Jane- but then Jane would never give him reason. And this was not abandonment; it was only two weeks' time. Perhaps by then he would have become calm enough to discuss with his wife the letter he had found. But not yet.
Bingley greeted Darcy with no attempt to conceal his surprise. "I say, Darcy! What are you doing here?"
"Fine greeting," he muttered darkly.
"But I expected you would be receiving Jane. She must be just arrived at your house."
"Elizabeth can do it."
Bingley eyed his friend warily. "Something is wrong, I think," he advanced. "Are things not well at Pemberley? Has this to do with that letter you sent? Ho! and what a letter. I think you even swore. Surely it isn't that terrible?"
Darcy was silent. Bingley groaned. He knew this mood. The only way to drag it out of Darcy was to set him next to a bottle of brandy.
"Forgive me, Fitz; I am abominable. Come in! Let us have a rest. My man will get your things."
Still silent, Darcy followed Bingley into the billiards room of Glenstead, which was not yet properly arranged. All the furniture was there, but nothing was in place, and there were no balls on the billiards table. Darcy thought this unfortunate. He would have enjoyed hitting something. But he settled in a chair, and allowed Bingley to bring him a brandy instead.
"So, Darcy!" Charles clapped him on the shoulder, sloshing liquor on to his friend's wrist. "Sorry, old man."
"Bingley, stand back. I am in a foul temper."
"Happy to have you at Glenstead!" returned Charles cheerfully. "You are my very first visitor, you know. I had hoped for you to see it when things were all in place."
"I thought I could help." Darcy took a great swallow.
Bingley nodded. "Ah. So you've come to assist me? Indeed I am grateful, for there is much to do."
"For example?" Another great swallow.
"Well- everything. My wife and son are the joys of my life, but very little help to me where business is concerned."
"Is she?" Darcy said hoarsely, finishing the drink.
"Is who what?" Bingley quickly poured him a second.
"Jane. The joy of your life." This time Darcy drained the brandy at once, and Charles thought perhaps he should hold off on serving a third.
"She is, Darcy. She is an angel."
Darcy reached for the bottle himself. "Very original, Bingley. I don't believe you have ever told me that before."
"Now see here!" Bingley blustered. But he could not imagine what to say. He tried another tack. "How is Georgiana?"
"Perfectly well. She is exposed to all the subtle evils of the human character on a daily basis."
"What? Have you left her with Mrs. Bennet?" Bingley could not stop himself from saying it and it was the right thing, for though Darcy sputtered into the brandy glass, he was laughing. "Yes, that's the spirit, Fitz. You cannot let these things get you so down in the mouth."
"I have tried, Bingley," cried Darcy. "You know I have. But it is impossible!"
"What is?"
"Bennetism!"
Bingley roared with laughter. "Now you've coined it, man! Bennetism! It is truly contagious," he sighed, thinking how glad he was to have 'caught' his Jane.
"So is the smallpox." Darcy finished his third and final swill, and pushed his glass back on the tray, for he knew his limits. He directed a pointed look at his friend. "I left her, Bingley."
"What?" Charles was openmouthed in astonishment. This was far worse than he had feared.
"Only for a fortnight, but the spirit is the same. But tell me, what was I to do?" And he related his version of events to Bingley, who listened intently to everything.
Darcy eliminated from his story only that he had read the letter from Kitty. He did this partly because it pained him to admit he had read his wife's personal correspondence, though he knew he had only done so by accident. The greater part of his reason was that even Charles did not know all of his family's past dealings with George Wickham, and he could not bring himself to tell that tale.
When he had finished enlightening his host of everything else, Bingley poured himself a brandy. "Good God, Darcy. That is very bad."
"Thank you, Bingley."
"But it is not desperate. Quarrels blow over!"
"How would you know?"
Bingley was indeed stumped, for he and Jane had not had anything nearing an argument. But he continued anyway; "You know, I did not think I would, but I do approve of your coming to Glenstead for these two weeks."
"You approve?" echoed Darcy. "I did not think I would ever hear Charles
Bingley approving and disapproving of my decisions."
"Well I do. You and Mrs. Darcy are rather... hot tempered people." Darcy snorted, but Bingley pressed on. "I think you will do well to cool your head before you start another argument." He paused. "And besides...." He grinned widely.
"Out with it, Bingley."
"Well Fitz, I really can use your help here. I'll put you right to work. You'll be breaking for home in no time."
"I imagine not," replied Darcy derisively. But he could not help a small smile. Having poured out his troubles and imbibed three excellent brandies, Darcy was somewhat pacified. All that bothered him now was that wretched letter. How could he ever bring it up to Elizabeth without having to explain how he had seen it? He could not, and it vexed him enormously.
Bingley saw that something still preyed upon his friend, and he begged to be excused for a moment. When he returned, a servant followed him, hauling a canvas bag in his arms. The servant tipped the bag onto the billiards table, and out rolled the brilliant-colored balls.
"Come on, Darcy. Let's have a game. I think you ought to smack something."
Darcy picked up his cue and tightened his fist around it. He agreed completely.
Chapter 8 ~ Surprises at Lambton
Wanting to help her sister, Jane attempted to rationalize Mr. Darcy's absence. She first declared that he must be of invaluable assistance to Charles at Glenstead, and that if her own husband did not depend so much upon his friend, Darcy would have rushed home already. She also reassured her sister that he could not be as angry as he seemed, for after all, he had left Georgiana entirely in Lizzy's care. He would not have done so if he doubted her credit.
Elizabeth was comforted, but unconvinced. After two wretched nights she came to the swift conclusion that she must occupy her time as fully as possible, or else she would never be able to bear him gone. Fortunately, there were plenty of tasks to engage her energy, as it lay to Mrs. Darcy to see to the arrangements for the ball. Her first order of business was to organize a trip into town, which she did at once.
It was decided that the ladies would journey into Lambton without Jane, who felt that Little Charles had spent too much time in carriages already. Elizabeth was sorry to lose her company on the excursion, and she begged her to leave the baby with Mrs. Reynolds, for her younger sisters were still barely speaking to one another and Jane always had a pacific effect on such squabbles. But Jane would not leave her infant for a full day, and so Lizzy was left to deal with the Misses Bennet and Darcy on her own.
Kitty and Georgiana were independently thrilled at the prospect of an outing, however neither girl looked forward to sharing the hours. Since the evening at Stirling Manor, their contact had been kept as brief as possible. As there had been no further outings over the week-end, the only time a word had been exchanged between them was at Church, where they offered peace most unconvincingly.
The ride into Lambton was therefore a very quiet one. Kitty alone volunteered a comment as they rode into the town, which Elizabeth contradicted sharply.
"Lord, what a funny little village this is!"
"Stop saying 'Lord', Kitty. I am ashamed you can be so vulgar. And Lambton is no stranger than Meryton."
Thwarted in her effort to make conversation, Kitty turned up her nose and sniffed. She did not suppose that today would be any different than the last two. Lizzy would continue to blame her, and Georgiana would still be injured. (Although, in these two days of brooding silence, it had occurred to Kitty that she had been rather hard on Georgiana- after all, it was not her comrade's fault that Mr. Stirling had been so particular. She had the uncomfortable feeling that it was her responsibility to make amends, but was rather keen to avoid doing it.)
Georgiana only wanted peace with Kitty, but would not attempt to bring it about. It was no accident that she bore the name Darcy; she could be as obdurate as could her brother. As long as her sense of justice told her that Kitty was in the wrong, she refused to make apologies. It was difficult for her to endure the tension between them, but her will was stronger than her timidity in such matters.
All three alighted moodily from the carriage when it stopped outside of the shops. One particular vendor had a very elegant array of stationery and Elizabeth had decided to make her paper purchases here.
"Come in with me, girls. I need your help with the dance cards and invitations." Both girls longed to give their opinions, but when Kitty followed first, Miss Darcy opted to stay behind. She felt childish about avoiding Miss Bennet, but in truth she needed a moment to herself after the stressful ride.
Georgiana sat on the provided bench to take a rest while the sisters shopped within, looking down the street one way to observe the people. It did not take her long to find a diversion- a very small old woman that Georgiana recognized as a neighbor, Mrs. Quincy, fighting a losing battle with an even smaller, be-ribboned Pekinese on a silver chain. The woman tipped this way and that, scolding her "Pansy", who seemed to be intent on knocking her mistress down. Georgiana could not help laughing, and she covered her mouth with her hand to keep from being heard.
"Miss Darcy?" Georgiana whirled around to see whose was the voice on her other side. She paled and blushed by turns when she recognized Arthur Stirling.
"Mr. Stirling." She shot to her feet.
"How marvelous! I knew I could not be mistaken- your laugh is quite singular, you know." He took her hand and bowed to her. She curtsied, pleased and frightened to be in his company again. "Miss Darcy, you look pained."
"No, indeed, only startled, sir." She withdrew her hand.
"I did not mean to surprise you. Pray, sit down as you were- do not make yourself uneasy. Miss Darcy, I am so very glad"- but here the young man cut himself off, for he realized suddenly that perhaps he was too familiar with her. He was not a bad youth, only full of feeling that he had not yet learned to master. He could see in Georgiana's manner that she was entirely unused to such attention as he longed to pay, and forced himself to tone down his address. "You are not alone in town, I think?"
"No, sir. Kitty and Mrs. Darcy are just within."
Mr. Stirling kept back a frown at the mention of Kitty. He had not thought her very appealing, especially at the close of their evening together. Quickly he found another topic. "And are you in town for any particular reason?"
"We are. My brother and his wife are to host a ball, and we are here in preparation."
"A ball! That is splendid! When?"
"Can you not wait for your invitation, sir?" she teased, and then opened her eyes wide, shocked at her own daring. Where had she learnt such an art?
But Mr. Stirling could not have been more pleased with this development. "I cannot, Miss Darcy. I believe I shall expire from the suspense."
"Now you are teasing me."
"Am I?" He looked quite innocent.
Georgiana paused. "Well we cannot have you making yourself ill, sir, so I shall have to tell you," she said in a very soft voice.
"You would not have me ill?" he questioned gently.
"The twentieth of December," was her reply. "There now, stay well." She looked down as she said it, and was entirely pink (adorably pink in her suitor's view,) but universally happy.
So was Stirling. He could have whistled. Instead he observed slyly that the stationery shop was the ladies' currant errand, and endeavored to make them both still happier. "Miss Darcy, what are your sisters doing inside?"
"Mrs. Darcy is choosing invitations..." Georgiana trailed off.
"And dance cards, I expect?"
"Yes," came her whispered reply.
"I do not suppose you will allow it, Miss Darcy, but I must ask." She nodded in anticipation. "When you have chosen the cards, would you pen my name on yours? For I should like to claim the honor of the first two dances."
Georgiana only looked at him for a fleeting moment, but he could not mistake the answer in her eyes. She looked down again. "I shall."
Both young people were rather excited for a moment, and neither spoke- Arthur for fear he would break the spell, Georgiana because she was absolutely tongue-tied. The little bell on the shop door tingled briefly, making them jump- and momentarily, Kitty and Mrs. Darcy were beside them.
Elizabeth had experienced a moment of pure panic inside the store, for she had observed Arthur and Georgiana through the window. She knew she could never keep Kitty from noticing them, and so had maneuvered her sister out of the shop, insisting she must have Georgiana's view of the stationery before making a purchase. It was her intent to control the meeting as much as possible, and to avoid repeating the distress that the young people had incurred at Stirling Manor.
"Mr. Stirling, how pleasant to see you again."
"And you, Mrs. Darcy. Are all your family well?"
"They are, I thank you."
"And Miss Bennet." Stirling bowed, and Kitty curtsied stiffly.
"Mr. Stirling," she returned, without feeling. She duly noted that her companion's expression was as it had been at Stirling Manor. Georgiana was clearly besotted. Kitty's own heart was not touched by his address now, and she knew that she had got over the whole business. Still, she felt she had been snubbed at the dinner party, and could only just bring herself to be civil.
"What brings you to Lambton?" inquired Elizabeth.
"Paint, Mrs. Darcy. I am here to arm myself with supplies." He grinned. "I know it is always the young ladies who are accomplished artists- I am sure I am nothing to any of you- but my studies made me long to try it all for myself."
"I assure you, your base attempts are better than my best efforts," laughed Lizzy. "I was never the most talented artist."
"But you must have been, for I remember Mr. Darcy was always going on about how there was hardly a woman in the world accomplished enough to tempt him, and here he has married you!" returned he, jokingly.
Elizabeth paled slightly, but forced herself to stay light. "Perhaps with any more fine qualities, I would have been too much, even for Mr. Darcy," she said with an artificial laugh. Mr. Stirling laughed, too, not noticing her strain.
A young man approached Mr. Stirling at just this moment and though his arms were full of parcels and his coat shabbier than Arthur's was, he did not seem to be a servant. Kitty, who had eyes like a hawk where gentlemen were concerned, noted immediately that his smile was crooked and his dark copperish hair unruly, but that his gait, build, and countenance were all very appealing. She made sure her shoulders were back as Stirling greeted his friend through the bundles.
"Hullo there; that's more than I expected!"
"You will need every bit of it if you are serious about your study," returned his friend, in the deep lilt of a Scotsman.
"I am serious, I promise you. Mrs. Darcy, may I introduce my mentor in the world of art, Mr. John Douglas?"
"Not Mrs. Darcy of Pemberley?"
"Yes, do you know it, Mr. Douglas?"
"I was taught by Comghall, ma'am."
"The Scottish artist who did the large portraits of Mr. and Mrs. Darcy?" exclaimed Elizabeth. "They are in the great hall. Whenever I walk by them, I feel as though they are human. He is truly an excellent artist."
"Was, ma'am. I'm sorry to say he passed on not two years ago." His eyes were sober, and it was easy to read heartache in his voice.
"I am sorry!" Elizabeth was filled with pity for the young man. "How long were you his apprentice?"
"Nine years. He took me in when I was just thirteen, so I've had my share of grief about losin'im."
"He did wonderful work in his life; that is a consolation."
"Aye, it is."
Elizabeth gestured to the girls. "This is Miss Georgiana Darcy, who is also very well acquainted with the paintings. And this is my sister, Miss Catherine Bennet."
Douglas bowed as well as he could, with all the packages he had to balance. "Pardon me, ladies, but I'm indisposed for bowin' at the moment. Miss Darcy- then those must be your parents in the portraits?"
"They are." Georgiana's eyes were bright. "And I hardly knew my mother, but my brother says that hers is perfect. I know my father's is, and I thank the artist for giving me such a faithful likeness."
"He'd be glad to know it, Miss."
Elizabeth liked the Scot already. He seemed such a dear, rough hewn sort of gentleman. "Mr. Douglas, you must come to Pemberley to visit the paintings," she offered. "We have invited Mr. Stirling as well, and you are both most welcome."
Douglas reddened with pleasure at the invitation. "I thank you! I've heard so much of the great estate- 'twill be an honor I hadn' expected, to see it with my own eyes."
"And perhaps we can practice portraiture with the ladies as our models!" Mr. Stirling gave Georgiana a mischievous smile.
"You'll be lucky if I'll be lettin' ya paint kittens. A lady's portrait has to be just right. I'm sure you've had yours done, Miss Darcy?"
"My brother commissioned one for me when I turned sixteen."
"And yourself, Miss Bennet?"
Kitty jumped. She had not spoken a word for fifteen minutes together, and she was not sure she trusted herself now, though she was not sure why. She had never been at a loss for words before in her life. "No, Mr. Douglas," she managed. "No one has ever taken my likeness."
He smiled at her. "Now there's a thing! To be the first to do it! Maybe I'll get the chance for that"- he turned to Arthur- "and you can learn a thing or two by watchin'." He was clearly jesting with his friend, and all the party laughed.
"I'm sure everyone would enjoy that," encouraged Lizzy. "Will we see you?"
The gentlemen assured her they would come to Pemberley within the week, and took their leave of all the ladies fairly graciously. "Get me to the saddlebags, man, or I'm like to drop all this like a fool!" muttered Douglas under his breath, losing his grip on the packages. Mr. Stirling gathered a few to himself, and equally balanced, the two men quitted them. All three girls giggled quietly.
The mood was greatly altered after their encounter with the gentlemen. Georgiana happily came in with Kitty to help choose the best cards and colors. They were not at ease, but there was no further malice. Together they settled on slender white cards for the dancing and handsome cream vellum for invitations. Elizabeth approved of both, and stayed behind to collect the order while the girls ran ahead of her to buy ribbons.
Kitty and Georgiana easily found thirty yards of white ribbon for the ladies' card pencils, but both girls had hoped to find something even better as they strolled through the little village- another glimpse of the young men. They made their way slowly back to Lizzy, Georgiana toting the ribbon parcel, each doing her best to be discreet as she scrutinized every shop and horse-post for her object. They did not see evidence of either lad in the tobacconists, or the haberdashery, and neither lady wanted to look in the direction of the tavern.
They had just craned their necks past the smithy to no avail, and decided it was hopeless, when a voice arrested them- the instantly recognizable brogue of Douglas. Instinctively both girls dove behind an enormous tree on the smithy green as both men came out of the inn across the road, speaking quite loudly enough to be overheard.
"That's not a bad tea."
"I've always thought so! I know some people protest against taking tea in public, but I see nothing strange about it."
"You've gone strange from too much time abroad, Artie."
"I hope so," laughed Stirling. "It was grand to live in the continental way. I thought I'd miss it terribly."
"Don't you then?"
"Not anymore. John, you saw her. You must know."
Georgiana paled and grabbed Kitty's hand. Kitty squeezed unstintingly back. This was momentous!
"I suppose you mean the blonde one."
"Miss Darcy!" It came off his lips like a prayer, and Georgiana was suddenly covered in gooseflesh.
"Kitty, this is very bad- what if he sees us?"
"Shhhhh!"
"Well I grant you she's quite attractive," said Douglas generously, "but
I prefer the looks of Miss Bennet. She looks like she's got some spirit in her- those nice hazel eyes and all. Though I could be mistaken; she was awful quiet."
Kitty nearly fainted with excitement. Georgiana supported her against the tree trunk, and both girls held their breath.
"She wasn't quiet when we met before. You should have seen her at Stirling Manor- quite forward! I wonder what's got her tongue?"
Abruptly, Kitty was in no danger of fainting. She gave Georgiana a look of despair. Mr. Stirling would disparage her to his friend, and all would be lost.
"Who knows with women?" answered Douglas. "They're unfathomable creatures. Speaking of which, where do you keep tying the blasted horses, Stirling?" His voice began to fade as he said this, and the crunch of boots headed behind the inn to the horse-post told the girls that they were out of danger of discovery. Silently, they flew back to the shop where Lizzy had been waiting for half an hour.
"Where on earth have you been?" she began, then noticed they were out of breath and disheveled. "Or perhaps I should ask what on earth you have been doing?"
"Getting ribbons," gasped Kitty. Georgiana laughed breathlessly and held out the parcel to the servant, who piled it atop the larger ones filled with papers.
"Yes; apparently getting ribbons is quite a lot of exercise. That shop is only steps from here."
"We went 'round a longer way."
"The scenic route." Both ladies dissolved into laughter.
Elizabeth could not be angry. She was grateful to see them in such good spirits. It would be a much happier week if someone in the house could be cheerful. "I think it must be time to leave. If we go now, we will be in time for tea," she directed, leading the way to the horses.
"Although I understand there is a very good tea at the inn!" cried Kitty. Lizzy made haste to usher them into the carriage, where they could shout mirthfully in private, exchanging a look of bewildered amusement with the driver before climbing up herself. Racked with hilarity, the young ladies continued to express their glee, and as the carriage reached Pemberley, each girl had to dry her eyes on her handkerchief, so great was the joke.
Chapter 9 ~ Apologies
"Lord!" sighed Kitty unthinkingly, "What a fuss!" Elizabeth's eyebrows arched in censure. "Well I am sorry, Lizzy. I do not mean to be vulgar; it is only a habit." Her tone was defensive, and she picked at her napkin guiltily.
"The trouble is, you do not care to mend it," snapped her sister. "And you do not care how your habits affect other people!" Elizabeth had meant this as a reprimand, but it left her as a cry and her face crumpled. She left the table hurriedly and went out of the dining hall.
Kitty stared. How could her exclamations have affected Lizzy so much? She sat alone another uneasy minute, trying to make sense of the scolding that had ended in tears. Elizabeth must explain this. She rose and went to look for her sister, finding her in the sitting room, which was gloomy somehow in the pale candlelight. Lizzy looked positively tragic against the red velvet cushions, her head resting in her hand.
"I am sorry," Kitty offered.
"Never mind, Kitty." Elizabeth held up her unoccupied hand palm-out as if to hold her at bay, as she leaned wearily on the arm of the chaise.
But Kitty did mind. She took the seat opposite her sister, adjusted her skirts and tried again. "Lizzy, I want you to tell me something. It is important."
Elizabeth exhaled in exasperation. Exhaustion consumed her and she wanted nothing but to be left alone. Being in Kitty's coarse company put her in mind of Mr. Darcy's objections to her family, and every thought of her husband caused her sorrow while he remained at Glenstead. She did not think she could bear to answer questions at the moment, but a look at Kitty's face told her that she would not give up easily. Elizabeth supposed she might as well give in, if only to make the conversation shorter.
"What is it?"
Kitty pulled her brows together and ventured her question. "Is it my fault Mr. Darcy has gone to Glenstead?"
Elizabeth looked up, surprised. It had not occurred to her that Kitty would ever realize her husband's concern, indeed she tended to notice only what pleased her. "What makes you say that?" she replied, hoping to form a better understanding of what her sister had perceived.
"You said my habits affect other people. He is angry. Perhaps I have offended him." Kitty looked very grave. "Tell me truly, Lizzy."
"I doubt very much you want to hear it."
"I do not," Kitty admitted. "But I am so tired, Lizzy. Everyone is so angry with me, and I do not understand why, though I am sure I should. I know I am not as good as Georgiana, but I daresay I am trying, and I cannot seem to please anyone!" She was close to tears, for beneath her careless exterior lay a very vulnerable heart, which was wounded from days of ill feelings against her.
Elizabeth relented. "Mr. Darcy is angry, Kitty, but mostly for other reasons."
"But he does not approve of me?"
Lizzy considered. She did not want to deceive her sister, for if Miss Catherine were brave enough to ask the question, she deserved the answer. However, she phrased it carefully. "He does not understand you. He raised Georgiana in a very watchful manner and took great pains to see that she became a lady. You have hardly had that advantage with Mama." She sighed. "It is a difficult thing to learn good breeding at Longbourn."
"But I want to be a lady!" cried Kitty passionately. "How can I do it? I say please and thank you; I address people properly; I will stop saying 'Lord' all the time if that will manage it- what else is there?" Despair was written all across her face.
"Oh, Kitty." Lizzy did laugh now.
"Do not tease me, for I am in earnest. Tell me how to change."
It was a good request, if a broad one, and Elizabeth was happy to hear it issue from this particular person. This was precisely what she had hoped for when she had invited Kitty to Pemberley- to see her sister form a new understanding of behaviour and a new delicacy of feeling. It had seemed hers had been too tall an order, for though Kitty at first showed some signs of willingness for change, she reversed her progress at the first sign of romantic dissatisfaction. But here she was, begging for instruction, and Elizabeth was all too happy to share her views.
"I can tell you how to change, but I am afraid it is not so simple as only manners. There is much more work than that to being a true lady in refined society."
"Well?"
"A true lady always takes the feelings of others into consideration."
Kitty opened her hands in appeal. "And I do not?" she demanded.
Elizabeth gave her a very keen look. "Did you think of Georgiana when you were vying for the attentions of Mr. Stirling?"
This was a direct hit. Kitty's eyes flew open, amazed, and she turned an unbecoming shade of red. "How did you know?"
"Oh dear, it was quite obvious."
"It was not!"
"How else could I have seen it?"
This silenced Kitty for a moment, for she could not think of any other possible way for her sister to have found her out. This was mortifying. Was she so transparent? What must Mr. Stirling think of her? She grasped at straws.
"You must admit he was very rude to me, Lizzy."
"Why? Because he liked Miss Darcy best of all?" Kitty frowned, but could come up with no answer, for this was the truth.
"He never even spoke to me."
"Indeed he did. You chose to misinterpret his attention for Georgiana as a slight to yourself. That is not only unladylike, Kitty, that is jealous."
Kitty bit her lip. "I was... a little," she confessed.
"Everyone feels jealousy- only God can mend that"-
"Ha. I know Jane does not," interrupted Kitty.
Both sisters smiled. "Well perhaps not Jane," conceded Lizzy dryly, "but you do, and you are responsible for the proper handling of your feelings, however uncomfortable they may be."
This was a new idea to Kitty, one at which she balked. "Even if I am wronged, I should be mild about it?"
Elizabeth thought of her husband's extraordinary treatment of a certain Mr. Wickham, and her eyes grew deep with respect. "The very best people I know are those capable of the most temperance under the worst possible circumstances. That is the mark of excellent character." She felt her eyes begin to sting, and looked up at the ceiling to avoid shedding tears, for this was not the time to be maudlin. But she was saved from sentimentality by Kitty's next question.
"Do you think I am just as bad as Lydia?"
It was Elizabeth's turn to be shocked. She regarded her sister with care. "I hope not! Though I think you were far too easily led by her wickedness. You are very lucky Papa would not let you go to Brighton that summer, Kitty, for I have no doubt you would have eloped with your own soldier just to copy Lydia."
Kitty was offended. "I never would! I am not nearly so stupid about men as she is, and I am two years older."
"You are not stupid, Kitty, but you are very unwise. Do you not see that the first sign of contention between you and Georgiana was due to the introduction of male society?" Lizzy countered. "You are a different woman altogether when there are gentlemen present."
"What do you mean?" she demanded.
"As soon as you felt attracted to Mr. Stirling, you felt no remorse about disloyalty to Georgiana, and it is not the first time I have seen you behave in that way. Your first priority has always been to secure men's attention, and this is a terrible failing. A woman should always defend her sisters before everyone- and Miss Darcy is your sister now; do not forget it. If you wish to be a lady, you can no longer behave as you once did with Lydia- she would betray another woman in a moment if there was a flirtation to be had."
"Do you hate Lydia?"
Lizzy's shook her head ruefully. "No. I cannot hate my own sister. But I would never wish you to be like her and I am fully glad that you are out of her company forever. She is abysmally silly, and it has ruined her life."
"Do you think she was truly bad then, and not just foolish?"
"Lydia's thoughtlessness, because it was unchecked, led her to wickedness. Yes." Lizzy was vehement. "She will never be well received here because of it, and her husband will never be allowed to come at all. Mr. Darcy does not want his family influenced by such sad lack of decorum."
Kitty blushed. "Do I not influence Georgiana?"
"You do."
"Is that why Mr. Darcy dislikes me?"
Elizabeth sat forward and took her sister's hand. "I will tell you something to ease your spirit, Kitty. There is a particular reason that I wanted you to come to Pemberley. I actually hoped that you would have an influence on Georgiana."
"What, me?"
"I thought she should see how easy you are with people, how fine a conversationalist, how unafraid of strangers."
"But what of my faults?"
"There is where I hoped Miss Darcy might have an effect on you."
Kitty understood, and her mouth parted in an 'oh' as she comprehended Elizabeth's plan. "I think I may have ruined your whole arrangement, Lizzy," she moaned momentarily. "No doubt I have offended Mr. Darcy irrevocably. I know I drove him off with what I said to Georgiana in the carriage!"
"You did no such thing," she replied firmly. "I will not allow you to take all that upon yourself. There is much else that contributed to his departure; I assure you I was equally culpable," not to mention that he takes a share of blame himself, she thought.
"What shall I do to make it up?" wailed Kitty. "I wish I could go back to Stirling Manor and have another try, for I am sure I could behave myself now. Everything is spoiled!"
Elizabeth remembered saying these very words to Jane only a few days before. And what had been Jane's excellent counsel? She endeavored to repeat it for Kitty's benefit. "Nothing is spoiled, you must see that. This is only but a moment in your visit; your first week was lovely and there are nearly three months still ahead of you. Jane and I are here and we love you, and I am sure that Georgiana wants to have you as her friend."
"You and Jane...?" Kitty trailed off, overcome with the full impact of her sister's words. She could not ever remember being told she was loved. The second youngest in a large and noisy family can easily slip through the cracks of attentiveness and affection, and this had been Kitty's pitiable position at Longbourn. Her lip trembled and she turned her head around so that Elizabeth would not see how much emotion the simple words caused in her. "Thank you," she managed quietly, scrubbing out a tear with her hand.
"Now suppose you go and make your amends with Miss Darcy."
Kitty groaned. "What if she hates me?"
Elizabeth grinned to herself. "Oh, I imagine the Darcys are very similarly appeased. All that is required is a full apology, and then I am certain things will be right again."
"But what shall I do about Mr. Stirling? I have offended him, too. And oh,
Lizzy, tell Mr. Darcy to come back! Tell him I am better now, and won't cause any trouble."
"I cannot call him back just yet." Elizabeth looked distant, and it took her a moment to recollect herself. "But do not fret about telling everybody you are sorry. If you are truly willing to change, it will show in your conduct. Actions are always much more convincing than words."
Kitty nodded. "I will try to do better."
"That is all any of us can ever do." Elizabeth leaned back again in her chair, feeling as if an enormous burden were lifted. She shut her eyes and raised a hand to her head.
"Are you ill, Lizzy? Can I fetch you something?
"No, no- I am well."
"Then will you excuse me? For I think I had better talk to Miss Darcy at once."
Elizabeth assented with a nod. "Oh, and Kitty," she called after her sister, "you may fetch me something after all. Send me Jane, when you see her?"
"All right, Lizzy." Full of new feelings, her head spinning with thoughts and resolutions, Kitty wound her way down the hallways. There was an odd, fluttering sensation in her stomach, which she guessed was nervousness. She did not have very much experience with apologizing and she had no idea how she would approach the subject with Miss Darcy.
The music room was bright with lamps and candles, but no music greeted Kitty upon her arrival. Instead, she caught the last strains of a conversation.
"I am sure it will all be well. Give her time," Jane was saying. Kitty paused outside the door, desperate to hear what more would be said. What would be well? Give time to whom? Were they speaking of her? She listened very closely.
But what Kitty heard came from within her, a surprising voice she was startled to recognize, instructing her that she must not eavesdrop. Though curiosity clawed at her, she obeyed this new voice, stepping into the archway to make her presence known. Somehow, she knew it was the ladylike thing to do.
"Jane?" Two blonde heads turned in her direction. "I am sorry to interrupt, but Lizzy is asking for you."
"Thank you, Kitty." Jane gathered her sewing and went to the door. "Goodnight," she said, and Kitty could not be sure but she thought she spied an understanding glance pass from her sister to Miss Darcy. But Jane had disappeared down the hall in a moment, and Kitty knew it was not her place to inquire after their conversation. It would take all her concentration and courage to attend to the business at hand.
"Georgiana... I wondered, if you are not too tired... may I speak to you about something?" Her voice seemed very small.
"I am not tired."
Kitty paused nervously and drew an enormous, steadying breath. Georgiana gazed at her with absolute poise, making her own situation even more anxious by contrast. It was better just to get it over with at once; let Miss Darcy rebuke her if she would.
"I must"- she began, but stammered and had to catch her breath. "I must apologize"- there, it is out! - "I must apologize to you for my... behaviour... of the other night. No, do not speak yet, there is more and I must say it. It was very wrong of me to hurt you, for you never did anything to me. What I said to you of Mr. Stirling was dreadful- I was only jealous- it is not your fault he likes you. I am glad he does for you are so pretty, and such a pleasant friend to me! Can you forgive me? For truly, I am very sorry." Kitty's hands shook as she inhaled again, and she could hear blood pounding in her ears.
Georgiana's reply was swift and wordless. She crossed the room and embraced her friend, and Kitty felt it was the most eloquent answer in the world. When they drew apart, Miss Darcy glowed with renewed contentment, and Miss Bennet was weak with relief.
"You are a kind friend," said Kitty gratefully. "I am sure I should not have accepted my apology if I were you."
"I have never had sisters," Georgiana replied as the two seated themselves closely on the little sofa, "but Jane was just explaining to me that even the very closest have disagreements."
Then they were discussing me! But Kitty was glad she had not spied. "I think we certainly qualify now," she laughed. "I have fought with my sisters before, but this was very different. I have been on pins and needles these three days."
"So have I. And I have so longed to tell you everything! It was awful to be so aloof."
"Well Lizzy has given me advice on how to become a lady, so you need not worry this will happen anymore. I hope I shall never embarrass anyone again in my life."
Georgiana laughed. "Perhaps I will not be so easy to discomfit anymore. You will never believe me when I tell you how I behaved at Lambton!" Georgiana offered her friend all the details of her innocent flirtation, and faithfully repeated every word of the exchange with Mr. Stirling.
Even more exciting than the story was the fact that Georgiana trusted her again, but Kitty gasped and thrilled in all the right places. "The first two dances! Oh Lo"- she stopped herself just in time from using her favorite exclamation. "My goodness!" she substituted. "Then you do like Mr. Stirling, Georgiana?"
"I do- I like him very much." She hesitated. "But I think you like him, too?"
Kitty made a very wise face. "I believe I prefer his friend above all things."
"Oh yes! Mr. Douglas was quite handsome." Miss Bennet friend sighed in rapt agreement. "He wants to paint your portrait, so he must admire you."
"I hope he does! I should love to be painted," said Kitty, feeling it was very fortunate to have spirit and hazel eyes.
"Imagine- he would have to stare at you for hours." This was met with another romantic little exhale. "But Kitty, we were very wrong to hide behind that tree. We should never have heard them in private."
"I know it! It was indecorous in the utmost." She looked waywardly at her friend. "But I would not give the information back again."
"Not for the world," agreed Georgiana, who thought it very nice to know that Mr. Stirling thought her more wonderful than life abroad.
"Do you think they will call on us tomorrow?"
Before Georgiana could decide, they heard a familiar step in the hall, and Mrs. Reynolds appeared wearing a wry look, which could only mean one thing.
"But we are not tired!" they chorused together, feeling it was unjust to be arrested when they had so much more to speak of.
The housekeeper was unmoved. "You will be in the morning. Off to bed with both of you- Mrs. Elizabeth's orders."
Reluctantly, two very excited ladies were led off to their chambers, begging Mrs. Reynolds to send up chamomile tea to calm them down. She promised to do it, and deposited each girl safely in her own room. When she was sure they would not race back out again, the old housekeeper made her journey back down to the sitting room, where Mrs. Bingley and Mrs. Darcy waited expectantly.
"Well, Mrs. Reynolds?"
"The young ladies are in bed, Mrs. Elizabeth."
"And how did they seem to you?"
"Oh, they protested, ma'am. Insisted they were not tired, and swore they couldn't sleep without something hot to drink. I've sent them up their tea and I'm sure that they'll be drowsy soon enough, though they were as giddy a pair as ever I've seen."
"What had them in such spirits, I wonder?
"You know how young ladies can be, ma'am. I came upon them and they were thick as thieves, sitting on the same seat and whispering about sum'aught. Who can tell?"
"Who indeed." Lizzy flashed her eyes merrily at Jane, who responded in kind.
"Will you be needing anything further, Mrs. Elizabeth?"
"That is all, thank you. Goodnight, Mrs. Reynolds."
"Goodnight, ma'am. Goodnight, Mrs. Jane." She shuffled out, leaving Lizzy and Jane to beam happily together. They were well aware of just how young ladies could be. Mrs. Reynolds' description left them in no doubt of what had transpired in the music room, and they were heartily glad that at least one household dispute had been set to rights.
Lizzy smiled a half-smile. "We are all as we were, except one," she mused, thinking of her husband.
"Two," contradicted Jane, looking pointedly at her sister's waistline.
"Three then." Elizabeth stood. Placing her hand over the third person, she allowed Jane to take her by the elbow and lead her upstairs.