Jump to new as of June 28, 2000
Jump to new as of July 6, 2000
Posted on Sunday, 25 June 2000, at 2 : 22 a.m.
Letter 1
My dear Vicomte,
How are you, my darling? It has been too long since I have had the pleasure of seeing you, however, I feel with certainty that our paths will cross again very soon. You see, a new situation has arisen that I feel needs to be immediately addressed. And since you, as my particular friend, are most qualified to help me in achieving my goal, it was with much haste that I have composed this letter for you. Do you not feel honored, Vicomte?
My situation is as follows. As you recall, I lost my last husband, the Marquis de Merteuil a few years ago. I was fond of him to be sure, but I did not love the man and it was not long before I grew restless for an occupation other than that of widow. It was then that I fell into an acquaintance with a young man from the north of England-I believe you two met briefly. His name is Darcy, do you recall seeing him at the Russian Ballet during the season of --? Well, he was handsome, and, despite a lack of title, was very rich. He was a bit younger than I was, I recall, but that has never stopped me in previous conquests, so it was of little matter. He was inexperienced back then, I recall, and you know how I relish the part of tutor. I saw great possibilities for an alliance between us. Not marriage (dear G-d, no!) but he would have suited me well. Notice my wording-he would have. After knowing him for a few months, I believed the time right and I coaxed him into a private meeting with myself. He should have been grateful for the precautions I took, for it we had been discovered; both of us would have been terribly compromised. But, no, he seemed insensible to any of the compliments I paid him! Finally, just as I was about to give up hope, he showed some signs of interest and succumbed to my will. I was triumphant. I believed I had him defeated, but I was deceived most dreadfully. I had barely begun to gloat in my victory before I received a terse missive from him (which I have enclosed) breaking off the alliance. Oh, I can hardly describe my anger! You do realize, my love, that no one has ever done that to me. No one has ever dared and he-this upstart, untitled man from England-had the presumption to reject me! It was not to be accepted, but before I could exact my revenge, he finished his business in town and left France. I have not seen the man since, nor have I given him much thought. The incident was never forgotten as it is not in my disposition to forgive and forget, but even some things are beyond my control. I could not have pursued him to England like a ninny and become a laughingstock, could I? So the matter was done. But I can tell you are getting impatient as to the reason of this letter and are curious as to the nature of all of this. My reason is this-Mr. Darcy is back in Paris, and I can hardly believe my own good fortune! And with him he has brought his new bride! You know that I cannot let such an error as his to go unpunished and as soon as I learnt of the news, I immediately set out to think of a plan to ruin him. And since you are almost always involved in schemes of this type, I figured I should solicit your advice before deciding on a course of action. Yes, I am asking for your help...surely you cannot refuse me?
With love,
M
Letter 2 (Darcy's missive to Merteuil)
Madam,
I will not waste time with trivialities, for the news I must state is not to be put off. You caught me in a moment of weakness last night, a moment that I hope both of us can soon forget. I apologize for any discomfort I may cause you and I realize my way of stating this is quite uncivil. However, when considering your conduct of last night (which, I admit, I am partly to blame) some abruptness on my part is to be justified. I sincerely hope that after this all contact between us will cease. I did not act as a gentleman should and you, madam most certainly did not act as your societal position dictates you should. I would not wish to debase either of us by signing names to this missive. In fact, I beg you burn it after you have read its contents.
Letter 3 (Vicomte de Valmont to Madam Merteuil)
My love,
I was quite surprised to receive a letter from you. I had begun to think you had forgotten me and while I am happy to hear from you, it does nettle my pride that the sole purpose of the letter was to request a favor of me. And as to what that favor pertains, you cannot think me so insipid as to not know what your aim is. You are lying when you say you need my advice for a plan. I know, in truth, you have already come up with one. I can already guess what it is, for you would not have written me without a specific object in mind. You are far too shrewd, my dear. My guess is that you wish me to seduce the new Mrs. Darcy and thus disgracing her husband. There, I believe I stated it plainly enough. I know enough of you to be aware of the stubbornness of your mind and your iron resolve. I am sure you will take that statement to be a compliment, though I do not mean it to be. Anyways, I will not waste time delaying my answer to your inquiry. If you are indeed serious in pursuing your revenge, I will be happy to oblige you. I believe that it will add immensely to the pleasures of both of us. You because you will have your revenge and I because I recall Mr. Darcy quite clearly and I know that only a truly superior woman would content him. Such a woman would be a challenge and I am restless. I am in need of occupation. Now, pray tell, when is our adventure to begin?
I await your answer,
Valmont
Letter 4 (M to V)
Valmont,
You insulted me in your last letter and had I not resolved to use you I would have become quite angry. As it is, I refuse to be offended by your comments because I am in a superb mood. In response to your question, I have already begun the "adventure" as you call it. Today, by chance I happened upon Mr. Darcy and his wife. Even I am not used to such turns of fate and I wasted no time in making my way towards him. He has not changed much since I last saw him. More mature looking, perhaps, but the years have certainly not diminished his appearance. This did not surprise me, for I doubted he would be much altered. What did surprise me though, was the appearance of his companion. I was quite taken aback for she looked a simple country girl! Pretty, to be sure, but dressed simply and her manners were not at all fashionable. This, you can imagine, did nothing at all for my pride. And the way he looked at her-it was indecent! So you see, I had not even spoken to him yet the man and his wife infuriated me! Well, I composed my self and called out to him, taking care to sound sufficiently surprised when catching his eye. I must say, the Darcy looked as if he had seen a ghost. His wife was clearly puzzled, but since it was obvious I knew her husband, she led him over to me. Formalities were exchanged and introductions made. Mr. Darcy was grave and stiff while his Mrs. was very friendly and engaging. It is too bad I hate her, for she seems a pleasant girl, if not a trifle impertinent. Well, after a few minutes of casual speaking, I extended an invitation to them for your ball as my particular guests. (Your ball, you ask? Yes, the one I was going to suggest you have...) My invitation did not go as I expected. If anything, my dear Darcy became even colder and his only reply was, "I regret we cannot attend." That was it! No excuse, no civility at all! I saw at once he had not changed, but was not to be swayed from my purpose. Looking appealingly at his wife, I saw she was both vexed and confused and I believe he did not meet her eyes once during the interchange. It was comforting, at least, to know that he did not forget our last encounter. I could not resist some indulgence, so after a moment's pause I exclaimed, "Mr. Darcy! I am greatly disappointed, for I had hoped we could renew our acquaintance. We got along so famously while you were in Paris previously, if you recall..." Mr. Darcy was becoming quite angry with me and as much as it gratified me, I needed to get him to accept my invitation. So before he could respond, I added, "I truly cannot believe you would behave in such an un-gentleman like manner and refuse my invitation!" I do not imagine why, but he paled considerably at my words. However, eventually the fool found his voice and replied, quite coolly, "I apologize for my terseness, Madame Mertuil, and-" I suspect he was going to refuse me once again, but Mrs. Darcy interrupted her husband (which surprised the both of us, I believe) and agreed to attend the ball. I checked my smile of triumph and contented myself with seeing the hostile looks passing between husband and wife. Why, Vicomte, I do believe I may have been the cause for a lover's quarrel. I took Mrs. Darcy by the arm and informed her of procuring an official invitation for her in a few days time and bid my farewells.
I have given you the opening you need, I think, and now it is up to you to satisfy my need for vengeance. Furthermore, if you succeed in your mission, I will make sure that you are amply rewarded. We always did suit one another well, didn't we? There is no reason to think that relations between us could not exist again, am I correct? Well, in any case, I am confident you will do what I ask of you.
Part II
Letter 5 (V to M)
My darling,
So, I am to have a ball? Very well then, I will have it since you seem to have your heart set on it. However, I must tell you that I am starting to regret agreeing to this scheme of yours. Although Im sure it will amuse me, I recently came across a better prospect that would have done wonders for my reputation had I achieved my goal. It had to do with Madame de Tourvel, but I suppose it will have to be put off for now. Besides, the payment you offered sounds terribly enticing and I am not sure I could ignore it.
Anyways, in light of your last letter, I took the offense position and decided to call on the newlyweds. Now, before you get angry, my sweet, let me tell you that I made careful efforts to make sure Mr. Darcy was NOT in the hotel when I arrived. It was quite easy to bribe the doorman and I believe he will be of much use in the future. I do not anticipate on Mr. Darcy telling his wife of his connection to either of us, since our mutual history includes his sordid encounter with you. That man always did put much emphasis on his pride and honor (almost as much as I do for my prowess in certain capacities) so I am certain she knows nothing. Any doubts I may have had were immediately erased by the warm reception his wife paid me. You were quite right in your assessment of her. She has nothing to recommend her physically besides pretty eyes, a tolerable figure, and open manners. Well, that is what I thought at first. She improved upon me a bit upon closer inspection and I will acknowledge her to be quite pretty. That is, in an English sort of way-she could not hold a candle to you, my love. And, like you said, her manners (although pleasing) truly are not fashionable. But now that I have given you my opinion over the lady, I suppose now you are curious as to the substance of our conversation? She was a bit surprised when I introduced myself, but it quickly wore off and inquired as to the acquaintance between myself and her husband. I replied that we shared a mutual friend in you and that I had socially been around Mr. Darcy when he was last in Paris. I could tell she was wondering what her husband was like when he was young, so I indulged her curiosity and told her that he was, "quite reserved, especially around the ladies, but I believe several young ladies caught his interest." She wasted no time in asking if Madame Merteuil was one of the aforementioned ladies, to which I replied I could not say with much certainty, for there were rumors at the time but I do not give much credit to gossip. She seemed disturbed by this and inquired if there had been much gossip about her husband. The subject was one that should not of been discussed so I endeavored to change it as soon as possible. I mentioned my ball and quickly asked if she would do me the honor of dancing the first set with me. To this, the minx replied, "Sir, you are too hasty, I have not even assured you of my attendance yet!" I begged that she would and she agreed to come. I asked again about the dance and she said, "If I were still a maiden I would gladly consent, however I feel it is my wifely duty to dance at least the first two sets with my husband." If any other lady said this to me I would have been offended, for none of the women of my acquaintance would dream of rejecting me in favor of dancing with their husband. I cannot even imagine a woman wanting to dance with her husband! But there was a certain look about her that I found it quite impossible to be offended and I got the impression that she was teasing me. This realization caused me to lose my train of thought and I believe I made a fool of myself and actually condescended to beg Mrs. Darcy to dance with me, saying, "Surely you cannot refuse me, your host, such a small request! You will have a lifetime of balls and assemblies to dance with your husband while I will have but a single night! Truly, Mrs. Darcy, you are being quite unfair!" I heard myself speak and I was quite disgusted at how petulant I sounded, but her highness seemed to be amused and rewarded me with a large smile. I then took pains to make myself look so pathetic that she could not resist me. And indeed, she did not! Laughingly, she replied, "Monsieur Valmont! Upon my word, I cannot bear to refuse you now, in light of such pleas! If my dancing with you is so important, you shall have me for the first few sets. There, I hope I have settled the matter!" I could not resist in my next remark, "You have satisfied me completely and I look forward to having you repeatedly in the weeks to come." Darling Mrs. Darcy seemed somewhat unsure as to what my meaning was, but, at length, she smiled broadly at me and I took my leave. You may not be pleased with me for starting out my conquest in this manner, but you must allow me some pleasures. To do only as you bid would be intolerable! This scheme requires some of my...panache, shall I say?
Thousands of kisses,
Valmont
PS: Are you still having relations with that fool Belleroche?
Letter 6 (M to V)
Really Vicomte, you are childish! Your indulgences border on recklessness and while I do not care at all if you want to disgrace yourself, I will not have you ruining my planning! Once again you have put me in a foul mood and as such I have no feelings of regret in informing you that I will not be able to attend your ball. I am disappointed, of course, to not see how everything is working, but as for you personally, I am glad to not be in your insufferable presence! The reason for my absence is simply due to the fact that that fool Belleroche needs my company for the evening. He has been discontent as of lately and I feel I need to pacify him for the time being. So, you will accept my apologies, ect, ect...(Besides, I would not want to keep you from your darling Mrs. Darcy!)
Incidentally, I was surprised this morning by an old school friend of mine who I believe could be of help to us both. She seemed extremely eager to be in any assistance, although I do wonder how she figured out my intentions. Perhaps you know her? Her name is Miss Caroline Bingley....
M
PS: I shall be out of town for a fortnight so do not bother writing to me about your escapades until I return. This, of course, does not include the ball. For that, I require complete and intimate details. And please, in the interim, behave yourself!
Part III
Letter 7 (a fortnight later, V to M)
Darling,
I really wish you had not referred that horrid Miss Bingley to me. I allowed her to call upon me a couple times (before telling my doorman I was out!) and she acted like she was demented whenever I mentioned the Darcys. I am at a loss as to what is so spectacular about Mr. Darcy as to be an object of desire for so many women! Miss Bingley is quite obsessed with him.
I called at the Darcys' hotel once more before the ball. Conveniently, Mr. Darcy was out and it was only his Mrs. that was able to receive me. Our meeting was brief but promising. She seemed open to my advances and I had convinced myself that a seduction right then would have been possible. However, I restrained myself and merely was content with placing a kiss upon her delicate hand as I took my leave. She was startled, but that was to be expected, I suppose.
But enough of that; what you really want to know about is the ball, am I correct? In a stroke of genius I decided to make it a masque. Previous experience has taught me that imagined anonymity emboldens people (especially women) so I figured that would work in my favor in this circumstance. My only concern was that I would not recognize Mrs. Darcy when she arrived. However, fortunately for me, that fear was in vain. It would have been difficult NOT to recognize her. She wore a large, ornate mask that was adorned with various peacock feathers, which, to my pleasure, did not obstruct my view of her "fine eyes" (as Miss Bingley refers to them). I knew her instantly, for no other lady I know holds herself as that woman does. There is just something about her countenance that is like a golden aura-she stands out in the crowd because of it. Her husband cut quite a dashing figure by her side and for a moment, every eye of the room was upon them. His mask was less ornate, as to be expected, but complimented hers nicely. All in all, they looked an attractive couple and looking at them I could not help but feel a surge of excitement at the prospect of touching Mrs. Darcy. But fantasies forced aside, I approached the two and acted my part of host. I apologized on your behalf for you not being there, but that there had been a distant death in the family and you had been called away. Mrs. Darcy looked grieved, and Mr. Darcy looked suspicious. I got the distinct impression he did not trust me! Who could imagine such a thing? Anyways, I wasted no time reminding Mrs. Darcy (or, Elizabeth, as I discovered her name was) of her promise to dance the first dance with me. Mr. Darcy looked alarmed and shot us both a look that spoke of "You did what?!" Clearly he was searching through his mind trying to figure out when I had claimed his dearest wife. Mrs. Darcy cheerfully remembered her promise, and with a regretful and somewhat puzzled look at her husband, left his side for mine. I led her out onto the center of the floor just as the orchestra struck up the first chords. My dear, I regret you were not there to see it! The guests' reaction was priceless, as was that of my dear prude! You see, no one had ever dreamt I would be so daring as to begin a ball with a waltz! Some of the older women were scandalized and the older gentlemen disapproving. Fortunately, my favored younger guests outnumbered those old windbags and soon many couples joined us on the floor. I could tell Mrs. Darcy was extremely embarrassed at the dance and I imagine no other man besides her husband had ever held her as I did. I must admit to holding her a bit closer to me than was proper, but it was worth it to feel her warm body pressed against mine and to see the look on Mr. Darcy's face. Are you proud of me yet, my love? Half way through the dance I realized that the usually talkative Mrs. was silent. I inquired as to the reason and she looked at me warily and said, "Monsieur, it would have been proper of you to mention that the first dance was to be a waltz." I replied that if I had she never would have agreed to dance with me. Her eyes wordlessly confirmed my statement and I went on, saying, "Mrs. Darcy, please do not be angry with me! Even the pleasure of having you in my arms is not worth having your ire directed at me for even one moment. " Her only response was, "I wonder why you deceived me then." I was apt to point out that I technically had not deceived her, since she had never inquired as to what the dance would be. I also added that I had only decided on the first dance a few nights ago, so I did not have the time to inform her, as I was engrossed in preparations for the upcoming event. Finally, she smiled at me again and I felt her relax in my arms. At length I began a conversation with her and I learned that she is the daughter of a country gentleman and is one of five sisters. She spoke very animatedly of her family and I suspect she is very attached to them. As she continued, I found myself wondering how such a woman would align herself with Darcy. It is true that the match was a good one in terms of money and rank, but I refuse to believe her mercenary. And she seems such a lively woman that I cannot imagine what charms the solemn Darcy could hold for her. Also, I found it curious she did not speak much of her husband. His name was mentioned once or twice, but when she spoke of him it was always with a quiet voice that was heavily tempered with respect and I daresay awe. This, coupled with her warm treatment of me, leads me to believe her not to be very much in love with her husband. This thought did not encourage me as it should have, though. For, although she may not love him, she undoubtedly has a great amount of respect for him and that is a bigger obstacle for me to overcome than love. Many women will betray someone they love, but it is even fewer that will do the same to a man they respect. So, at the end of our waltz, I was left feeling very uncertain as to the state of her feelings for Mr. Darcy. She would occasionally glance in his direction but it was a look that I could not discern. Perhaps she may love him? I cannot figure it out-the woman is an enigma. The more I continued to dance with her, the more her smile infuriated me. I was quite glad to release her after the second set, for I needed time to calm my thoughts of her. On the other hand, it was a relief for me that Mr. Darcy is not the same mystery his wife is. HIS feelings I could easily comprehend. He is completely besotted by her and, I agree with you, it does look indecent! This adventure has proved to be more than amusing and I must thank you for bringing it to my attention.
Incidentally, there was one comment Mrs. Darcy made to me that I found strange indeed. We had been silent for a few moments and I had allowed my gaze to linger appreciatively upon her figure when she suddenly said that I reminded her of her husband. I asked if she was speaking in regards to my appearance, and she replied she was and I was forced to acknowledge her to be right. I wonder I had never noticed it before; we could almost pass as brothers! That was quite disconcerting and I was left to wonder if that was an advantage for my suit or a hindrance. At length I asked her if the similarity stopped there and she replied, with that cursed smile playing upon her lips, "I wouldn't presume to know, sir, for you seem to be quite adept at veiling your glances and take great pains to hide your thoughts from me." I was surprised, but I decided to turn her impertinence to my advantage and haltingly admitted, "You are correct in your assessment, Madam, as there is one thought that I am desperate to keep from you...". As I said this, I looked at her with such adoration that the dear woman missed a dance step and stumbled closer into my arms. Fortunately for her, the dance ended then and I released her back to her husband. I must say, if he had been in possession of a sword at that moment, I would have feared for my life. The man looked positively lethal. This amused me, of course, and I could not help but kissing his wife's hand directly in front of him and thanking her for the most fulfilling waltz of my life. She had the good sense to blush exceedingly and did not meet the eyes of Mr. Darcy. And it was quite lucky for her she did not. I was not surprised that the couple left soon afterwards and I will venture to believe I detected quite a bit of tension between the two. Although, I also noticed Mr. Darcy laying his hands about his wife and sending me a rather pointed look that I suppose was meant to show ownership. It was an amusing spectacle and I have high hopes of reading about this incident in the gossip section tomorrow and having a good laugh.
Love you,
Valmont
PS: When might we discuss the subject of your "payment" to me?
Part IV
Letter 8 (Darcy to Bingley)
Charles,
I hope this letter finds you and your new bride in good health. I apologize for intruding upon your honeymoon, but please understand that at this moment I am desolate. We have known each other for years and I have frequently been your confidante-now, will you allow me to confide in you? Once again, I regret taking your attention away from your wife at a time such as this, but I know her generous nature will not begrudge me a few moments of your time.
Here is the reason for my letter. Charles, you know how much I adore Elizabeth. She is infinitely dear to me and I must confess to being very protective of her. By protective, I mean that I try to dissuade her from anything that I believe to not be in her best interest. This is all lovingly meant and I thought she understood that. But tonight I am afraid we have quarreled and I am at a loss as to what to do. Normally I would not solicit your advice, but the matter is of some delicacy, and since you have been informed of the particulars preceding this, I felt I had to write to you. It will surprise you to know that the subject of our argument was none other than the Vicomte de Valmont. You remember I did not like the man three years ago and frankly, after tonight, I hate him. But first, before I allow myself to get carried away, let me bring you up to date.
I remember once swearing you to secrecy over a certain affair that occurred while we were both in Paris. I have no doubt as to you keeping your word and I thank you for it. It was a moment in my life that I have wished to forget entirely. And I would of, had it not been for a dreadful mistake on my part in returning to Paris. I was a fool, for the possibility of meeting with the lady was non-existent in my mind and so I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security. However, within a day of our arrival I happened upon her in the park. I know not how, but I feel that she had been waiting for me to come, just like a spider in anticipation of its prey. One look into her eyes has convinced me that she has not changed and I cannot help but be chilled by her presence. Other than the barest civilities, I did not speak with her. It was then that I noticed she was paying a particular amount of friendly attention to Elizabeth. And, before I had realized what had happened, she issued us an invitation to that blackguard Valmont's ball. I, of course, immediately refused, but Elizabeth, who was led to believe that the lady and myself were old friends and as she was anxious to venture into society, defied me and accepted the lady's offer. I was angry, but nothing could have induced me to speak to her of my reasons for being so. Elizabeth was left confused at my anger and I was left feeling frustrated at not being able to relate to her all the circumstances. There are many reasons I cannot do so. She has always been aware of my weaknesses (pride among them) and I am loathe to add another black mark to my list of faults. She must not know, Charles, I am certain she would not only disapprove but would be horrified (as I was) at my lack of restraint and propriety! I could never face my wife again knowing that she knew of the disgusting relations between that lady and myself. For her to know I got myself into such a situation because of my vanity! It would be humiliating and I could not face another look of censure such as the one I got from her on the occasion of my first disastrous proposal. I hope you can see my reasons for secrecy and understand why there is now a slight rift between Mrs. Darcy and me.
Anyways, the surprising incident in the park, while disconcerting, was nothing compared to the revelations of tonight. This evening I learned, by way of a gossiping servant, that the Vicomte de Valmont has been calling at the hotel during my absences from it. It seems I am not the only one keeping a secret from my spouse. And, considering I have not left my wife's side but a few times in the past fortnight, I hardly believe these visits to be coincidental. Oh, but once again I am getting ahead of myself! Before I speak further on that subject and my discovery of Valmont's rendezvous with my wife, let me first talk of early this evening.
I do not pretend that things have been perfect with Elizabeth and I since we have been in Paris. We have been happy enough elsewhere, but this town seems to hold too many unhappy memories for me to be content. I realized Elizabeth was not happy, but I did not think much of it, so consumed was I by my own musings. However, tonight she was unusually lively and was in high spirits while preparing for the ball. I even thought I heard her singing some absurd, French ditty, although it could have been one of her maids I heard. At the time I thought her excitement was due to a lack of society and the novelty of a masque, but now I suspect another reason for her merriment. I had not thought so then, for upon seeing her descend the staircase in her silk gown and jeweled mask, all coherent thoughts were swept from my mind. She truly looked lovely and I was proud to arrive at the ball with her upon my arm. I noticed the approving looks she received when we made our entrance and I must admit it pleased me. She is a worthy woman and it contents me to see that others recognize it. Unfortunately, the mis-timed entrance of our dear host, Monsieur Valmont, disrupted my reverie. I was astonished when, after receiving us, he reminded my wife of her promise to dance the first to sets with him. It was bad enough to see his leering eyes appraising her, but I was horrified when she gladly accepted his arm and, without so much as an apology to me, allowed him to lead her out onto the floor. I had no idea of a promise made by her to him and honestly, I did not know when he would have had the opportunity to solicit her hand for the dances! That was when I first began to get suspicious. This feeling was added to when, while escorting my wife, Valmont informed me that there had been a death in the lady's family and as such she was not able to attend. It is not my place to doubt the truth of that statement, however part of me refuses to believe that to be the truth. I allowed myself to ponder over the statement for a few moments, but all thoughts of the kind were banished from my mind within hearing what was to be the first song of the night. Can you guess what dance he had chosen? I should imagine not, for even you would be shocked. Believe me, Charles, you have not felt resentment until another man plans a waltz with the express purpose of dancing it with your wife. And you have not felt jealousy until you see your wife enjoying that dance with him. If it was any other man dancing with her I should not have cared. But HIM?! What deed has he done that has made him worthy of being the recipient of her smiles? Surely none, but yet fortune seems to smile upon him! Cursed man! I decided then that I needed to get some fresh air, so I directly quitted the ballroom in favor of the balcony and the cool night air. Unfortunately, it was there that I overheard some very disturbing gossip coming from the servants below...
Letter 8, continued
It was a man and a woman speaking.
Despite my efforts to ignore them, I found myself interested in the matter and began to listen closely. It was then that I realized how strangely familiar the circumstances sounded. For a few more minutes I listened, with growing dread, until finally I could stand it no longer and revealed my presence to them. They were greatly startled and I felt a bit embarrassed to have eavesdropped on what should have been a private conversation. However, all feelings of the kind were banished when, due to a bit of bribing on my part, the two revealed the names of the persons involved. I should not have been surprised, but I must admit that initially my shock outweighed my anger. I mentioned previously that Valmont had been visiting my wife; this was how I discovered it. He had been bribing the doorman to not only let him in unaccosted, but to also keep me occupied if I should arrive at the hotel earlier than expected.
Before I go on, I feel I must clarify that at the time I was not angry with Elizabeth. It is true we did quarrel later over Monsieur Valmont, but I trust her. She is loyal and honorable and I know she respects me and is considerate of my feelings. Even if she was mislead enough to be attracted to the man, I know she would never have acted rashly or done anything to risk my disapprobation. My faith in her leads me to believe this was entirely the doing of that odious man, for I know she would never willingly participate in a scheme to deceive me. Rationally, I realized as much earlier this evening. However, my feelings were such at the time that common sense was ignored. In an agitated state I stalked back into the ballroom and was once again faced with the sight of my wife dancing with Valmont. It was more than I could stand at the moment and I resolved to leave as soon as possible. I told my wife of my intentions and she appeared disappointed. Perhaps saddened to leave the charming Vicomte? Who knows...I would not presume to know the inner workings of her heart. But if I was in any doubt as to the state of her thoughts, I was certain as to the turn Valmont's were taking as his eyes met mine. His smile was knowing, his half-lidded, triumphant glance was maddening, and I wanted to lunge at the man.
I do not mean to distress you, Charles, but I would not be surprised if you were. I myself am shaken, for never have my thoughts taken such a violent turn. It cannot be simple jealousy-I refuse to believe myself that petty. No, no, it must be more than that. I know there is something deviant in the intentions of Madame Merteuil and Valmont and knowing their histories as I do, is it not unreasonable that I should want to shelter my most precious wife? Would you not do the same for Mrs. Bingley, should she be in a similar circumstance? But back to earlier this evening...that was, after all, my purpose for writing this letter.
When Elizabeth and I arrived at the hotel it was very quiet. Neither one of us had spoken on the ride back and the tension between us was like a noose wrapped around my neck. I felt smothered by her presence and wished for nothing more than to be out of her sight, in my bedchamber perhaps, with a brandy. At the times my nerves were stretched so tautly that I thought they might snap. I had planned on allowing myself the night to calm down to a point where I could speak with Elizabeth about the matter in a sedate, dignified manner. However, it seems my wife is eternally determined to thwart every one of my plans. No sooner than I had bid her goodnight she turned to me, imploring me with her eyes, and asked me to speak of why I was dissatisfied with her. I replied that I was not, for the most part; I said that loved her greatly and any qualms I had with her behavior could be discussed in the morning. This did not content Mrs. Darcy. She remarked, "How cold you are! Won't you be frank and speak of what you are really feeling?" I reminded her of the love I had just professed a few moments earlier. To this, she replied, "Aye, and you state it as though it were an unpleasant matter of business. Your detachment leads me to believe your mind is engaged elsewhere." She went on similarly for a time and I began to become annoyed.
"I take it my words are not enough then?" I asked, interrupting her.
"Were they ever?" she replied, obviously teasing me, but there was a hard glint in her eyes that was not usually present when she was in jest and I did not like it. I knew she was comparing my conduct of the evening to my attitude in the first months of our acquaintance. The knowledge frustrated me and I was quickly loosing my resolve to let the matter rest until morning.
"Must I always be proving myself to you, Elizabeth?"
"Not always, sir, but seeing proof of your affection has yet to become disagreeable to me and, until it does, I should like to see examples of your love, and quite frequently." Once again, I knew she teasing me, but it did not sit right with me and I was annoyed even further.
"Perhaps I might be more inclined to show my love for you had your attentions and time not been occupied by another gentleman." It was a base thing to say and I knew it. I regretted the words soon after I had uttered them and I saw her countenance change rapidly. The smile immediately fell from her fair face and it was replaced by an expression that I had not seen in her before. I could not place it. I felt ashamed at my vindictiveness but I was not yet master enough of myself to apologize. And so, there was a long pause where neither of us spoke.
"I don't pretend not to know who you are speaking of. " she finally said, in an odd, guarded manner, "Doing so would be an insult to your intelligence. However, I must tell you that you are quite incorrect in your assumptions about Monsieur Valmont and I. I will admit to enjoying his company, but nothing more."
"Then you will have no qualms about immediately cutting all contact with him."
She seemed a bit startled, but her face quickly went pale with anger and she took a defensive stance as she informed me that she would do no such thing. I then informed her that her conduct of the night had been extremely reprehensible. I know she agreed with me-she had to, for she has an acute sense of what is improper due to her mother and sisters. But the woman simply turned her nose up at me and replied, in a haughty tone, "I have not behaved out of the bounds of propriety. The waltz perhaps would be slightly improper in England, but you must remember we are in France now and they are more open than the English are. When in Rome, behave as the Romans do, that is my belief. So you really cannot hold two dances against me on that account."
Once again, I was reminded of Elizabeth frequently professing opinions that were not her own. I remember I said as much to her. I also added, after some moments pause, that I would also wish she would refrain from speaking to Madame Merteuil as well. She kept her reaction under check and then said, "Might I ask why I am to cut off contact with the only new friends I have made while in Paris?"
"I beg you would not ask me for my reasons but merely trust in my good judgment."
"I see." She said, before adding, "You request of me blind obedience."
"No," I responded slowly, trying to control my annoyance, "I merely request that you honor your husband's wishes. Truly, Elizabeth, you-"
At this point I was cut off by a slight gasp and she exclaimed, "You cannot possibly be jealous of Monsieur Valmont!" At the stiffening of my figure, a look (of regret, horror? I cannot guess) passed over her features. "You cannot be serious-please tell me it is not so. I had thought you and I were above such things. I had thought we understood each other to an extent that such feelings would not plague our marriage..." she trailed off here and I immediately felt foolish. However, I soon recovered and assured her that it was not jealousy motivating my actions, but concern for her reputation. It was not really a lie, Charles, for I am concerned of what others will think of her conduct. Besides, how could I possibly be jealous of a man of his character and situation? It would be insupportable! However, I will admit to an intense, but fleeting moment of jealousy earlier this evening but it was irrational and was soon conquered. It was then I added, "I am not only referring to the waltz. That, while improper, is nothing to my discovery of your numerous meetings with the Vicomte while I have been conveniently absent."
Her face went scarlet when faced the implications of my words. I did not mean to insinuate she had been unfaithful, but bitterness had taken hold of me, and I was either too tired or too unwilling to censure myself.
"What you are insinuating is preposterous. I will have you know that Monsieur Valmont has shown himself to be a good sort of man, despite his flirtatious manner. He has treated me with civility and respect on his visits here and I have nothing to reproach him with. He did, however, take me into his confidence and say something of you which, before now, I have been determined not to analyze."
"We have been here before, Elizabeth. Will you ever cease taking another man's word above my own?" She flinched, for she knew I was referring to her belief in Wickham, and I could scarcely believe I had mentioned it myself.
"You have not yet inquired as to what he spoke of. Perhaps this is because you already know what he said. And, I must add that by believing him I would not be taking his word over yours for, as of now, I have yet to hear any contradiction from you." Her flat tone of voice told me of her anger and it was my turn to flinch.
"Might you have considered that I give him so little consequence that it does not matter what he said?"
"I am not speaking of your opinion concerning his consequence. I am asking you now-do you know what he said of you? And do you wish to deny it?"
"This is not to be borne. I will not be interrogated by my wife in such a manner."
"Your evasion of the question is my answer then." I was tempted then to tell her the truth about Madame Merteuil right then. It would have been so easy to, for I am convinced that she at least has a partial knowledge of my dealings with that lady. But something held me back from clearing my conscience-perhaps it was the last vestige of my pride. With a voice that I did not at first recognize as my own, I heard myself coldly reply, "You will deduce whatever you choose, Madame, it is not for me to decide. Having this in mind, I will leave you to your contemplations and bid you goodnight." I bowed stiffly towards her and walked out of the room with as much dignity as I could muster.
Now that you have listened to my lengthy tale, you must advice me, as one married man to another, on what to tell my wife. I am faced at a sort of crossroads. Should I tell her of my past and risk losing her good opinion or should I keep quiet and wait until the situations passes? I believe I am justified in asking her to stay away from Madame Merteuil and Valmont. But I have long known Elizabeth to be independent and even willful. For the first time in a long while, I am at a complete loss.
Once again, let me apologize for intruding upon your time. Give my regards to your wife and your sisters. I hope to hear from you soon.
Darcy