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Chapter 16

Posted on Friday, 10 March 2000, at 11 : 52 p.m.

Ash and Andrew still sat over Piquet. Ash was not really concentrating on his cards instead he was watching his cousin's furrowing brow.

"You need to work on your poker face."

"What?" asked Andrew startled.

"You should always keep a perfectly straight calm collected face when playing cards."

"Oh I thought I was."

"You weren't."

Andrew opened his mouth in reply but was cut off by a ruckus outside the door. Ash threw down his hand and strode to the door, throwing it open he looked into the hall. Mr Collins was waving his hat around.

"Make Haste Make Haste! Your most admirable, sovereign, epigrammatic ladyship is in mortal danger. Blankets! Make HASTE."

Ash started towards Mr Collins with Andrew quickly following suit.

"Mr Collins! Who is in mortal danger."

"Why the benevolent, merciful Lady Catherine."

Ash was out of the door quicker than you could say Jack Robinson, he ran towards where the servants were disappearing. Once on the lawn, a sight met his eyes. Andrew panted up beside him, Ash looked disapprovingly at his cousin, that he should be so young and that out of breath!

Both the cousins watched as Richard and Lady Catherine, wrapped in blankets walked towards the house, with an anxious Harriet fussing around. The two 'invalids' were arguing with each other.

"I never tracked dirt into your sitting room!"

"No No! And I suppose my lavender reticule disappeared all by it's self?"

"It didn't disappear -"

"Aha!-"

"I used it to store sugar for Nelly!"

"Who got Mama to BUY you NELLY??"

Ash and Andrew were transfixed by this display of childish behaviour by supposedly their elders and betters. Ash remembered being engaged in very similar activities with his brother, and Andrew recalled some good fights he had had with Bonnie.

Sir Christian Montgomery, made his way into a thoroughly disreputable establishment. Various female forms ran past him, they were not ladies though possibly 'femme de soir.' Sir Christian ignored them and walked through the house and picked at random a card table.

An hour or so later, Sir Christian had his fill of gaming, he had neither won nor lost he had just broken even. Sir Christian saw his good friend Franz Norstrom, walking past the doorway with several bottles of port.

"Norstrom!" called Sir Christian because there were several Franz's already in the room. "What are you doing with that port?"

Sir Christian joined him in the hallway.

"I'm going to drink it Monty. What do you do with port?"

"You sure Halstead won't mind?" Sir John Halstead was the owner of the house that they were in.

"He is in no condition to stop me." replied Franz indicating the library. Sir John was lying over one of the chairs his head and feet dangling around, his arms clutching a bottle of brandy. Sir Christian gawked at him then crossed into the room to feel for a pulse. Once satisfied that his friend was still in the land of the living, Sir Christian picked him up with ease and laid him down on the sofa, after wrenching the brandy away from him.

Franz deposited himself in one of the chairs after locking the door behind him, he fetched the glasses and liberally poured them each a drink.

"So Monty, your female relatives have decided you should get married?"

"Yes."

"What are you going to do?"

"Get married."

"Really, just like that? No fight."

"I'm 26 I suppose I really should get married, plus it would get them all off my back."

"So who are you going to marry? A nice heiress?"

"An Heiress!!! I don't think so, for one I'm not suitable for most families and an heiress would be a bother."

"Used to money, having her own way, that sort of thing, I see."

"What I would like is a nice quiet person. Someone who won't interfere in your my life."

" 'Either kill me or take me as I am, because I'll be dammed if I ever change'* That sort of thing?"

"Yes, I don't think I could have put it better myself."

"Well Monty my boy you are lucky. I've found the perfect bride for you!"

Sir Christian felt somewhat alarmed, he knew Franz and this sounded remarkably like one of his schemes."

"Oh...."

"Shall I list her admirable qualities? She is plain....so she will not upset your chere-amies. Her family is one that will not interfere but she has admirable connections......"

"What do you mean her family won't interfere." Sir Christian growled.

"I didn't mean it like that! But a gaming, duelling rake like yourself is not often welcomed into any family."

Sir Christian snorted at this rather ridiculous rendition of his character.

"Here let me tell you a story. Do you remember Mr Wickham?"

Sir Christian scanned his memory, a Mr Wickham did pop up, what was his name, Geoffrey? Gerald? George?.

"George Wickham?" replied Sir Christian. Franz nodded, Sir Christian remembered Wickham from gaming places he frequented, Sir Christian had not liked Wickham at all. He had tried to tell them of the misfortunes he had suffered at the hands of Mr Darcy and when nobody believed him he had disappeared.

"Well he went into a militia regiment, and when he was stationed at Brighton he incurred such a large amount of debt that he had to flee, he took with him the youngest daughter of a gentleman's family. They supposedly eloped to Gretna but he stopped in London and stayed there. Now the father of the young lady dashed to London and with a brother-in-law they tried to find the young lady, they couldn't. The gentleman gave up and went back to his estate. Now who do you suppose actually really searched for Wickham?"

Franz had a triumphant look on his face, so he was rather disappointed when Sir Christian calmly replied, "Mr Darcy?"

"Yes! Wickham was made to marry the girl! You see the father is not concerned about his children and Mr Darcy married the second daughter."

Sir Christian thought about this, Mr Darcy married the second daughter.........Bennet!

"Franz! I was joking! I was foxed! I don't really wish to marry-"

Franz cut him off, "But she is perfect!"

Sir Christian sighed whether it was the influence of the port or not, now that he thought of it, Miss Bennet wasn't really that plain with a bit of work she'd look quite tolerable. "Franz, Mr Bennet might not interfere but are you going to sit there and tell me that Lord Ashbourne, Mr Darcy and Mr Bingley, aren't going to join forces against me?"

"Bingley is too friendly and jolly he will not mind, and as for the others they are in the country. Now what I propose you do is....."

Sir Christian sighed, he wished that he had the resolve to not go along with this plan, but fighting it would take a vast deal of effort for Franz's number one past time was organising his friends lives.

Kitty sighed, looking at the paper, so far she had written :

Dear Mama,

Well I hope you like Pemberley. I did wish for you to stay just a little longer I have some rather important news to impart to you that I was not in possession of when you were here. Though this news is not so important for you to come to Matlock. Indeed I do not think I wish you here. I have been suffering under a certain indisposition, and lately the doctor, who also saw Charlotte confirmed it. I am to have a child by July.

Ash feels that it will be fine for me to travel to London, at the beginning of the season, so that I will be surrounded by all my dear friends. Though you probably should stay at Longbourn.

I hope that Lizzy and Darcy are well, along with Aunt Phillips, Lydia and my father. I especially hope that you are well dearest mother. I am bid to breakfast, so I must fly.

Your devoted daughter

Kitty Lady Catherine Ashbourne.

Kitty groaned, the letter still wasn't something she would willingly send to her mother.

"What's the matter Kitty?" asked Ash.

"This letter, I can't make it sound right!"

"Then give up and come to bed." Kitty turned to look at him, he had his biggest smile plastered across his face. Kitty rolled her eyes and turned back to the paper.

"I've got to write it sometime!"

A sound remarkably like a pillow being punched, came from the bed. Suddenly a hand whisked the letter away, Kitty watched as her husband paced the room mouthing the words of the letter as he gave appropriate gestures. Kitty laughed, especially as he read the crossed out sections. As he reached the conclusion he sat down upon the rug at Kitty's feet and looked up at her.

"My dear this is without a doubt the most pathetic attempt at a letter! You have spent three hours on this, three hours which may I say could have been spent in much more rewarding activities."

Kitty playfully slapped the back of his head. "You try writing to my mother at one am in the morning."

"Yes but this is a very poor attempt. Look at these bits 'surrounded by all my dear friends', 'dearest mother', 'Your devoted daughter' If they aren't an invitation for your mother to arrive on our door step and make herself at home my name isn't Renaldo."

"Renaldo?" exclaimed Kitty

"Yes Renaldo, apparently a magician who can eat fire, Andrew says I look quite like him." Kitty snorted as Ash majestically threw back his head.

"Oh? I don't know why I didn't tell Mama before she left." Sighed Kitty.

"My dear we are all entitled to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege!"

Kitty shrieked at that comment and proceeded to leap out of her chair and chase Ash around the room.

After a lengthy battle in which both parties conceded defeat Kitty fell upon the bed.

"I tell you what, why don't I write the letter?"

"But Your writing is nothing like mine!" exclaimed Kitty breathlessly.

Ash sat down at the writing desk.

Darce, Dear Mr Bennet, Dear Mrs Bennet, Dear Elizabeth, Dear Georgiana,

"Who do I write the blasted letter to?" Ash turned to Kitty.

"I don't know, who will take the most offence if you do not address it to them?"

Ash bit the end of the pen. He scrunched up the paper and took a new piece. He then set about his best Bingley effort.

To Whomever,

It's way past midnight I'm tired, I really could not be bothered but here it goes. Sometime about July you will need to wish both Kitty and myself joy. An addition to the family etc etc. And I can tell you now it isn't a dog.

We don't want anybody, so stay and annoy Darce, unless it is Darce reading this then he can stay and be annoyed.

Yours ever

Lord Ashbourne,
Ash
Horrie
Horatio
Fitz
Fitzwilliam.

Ash had blotted half the words and it looked an atrocious piece of work. He handed it to Kitty who read it.

"You cannot send this!"

"Watch me!" Ash pulled the rope. A footman magically appeared.

"Express to Pemberley."

"Now my lord?"

"Of course."

The footman did as he was told. Ash then got ready for bed.

"You do realise that they are going to think you are ready for Bedlam!"

Ash climbed into the bed, frowning.

"Yes, but when one has spent most of the day playing Piquet with a relation who wants to talk about other relations all day, seen his respectable Aunt and his respected Uncle dripping wet and fighting like caged animals, spent half the night listening to his wife try and compose a simple letter to her mother, I'm beginning to feel that Bedlam isn't such a bad idea."

"It can only get better!" said Kitty lightly.

But Kitty was wrong, things can only get worse........

* Marquis de Sade 1783.

Chapter 17

Posted on Thursday, 16 March 2000, at 2 : 23 a.m.

Darcy groaned, he was feeling dreadful, the carriage ride to Pemberley had been disastrous. He thought it would have been perfect since Lizzy and Mr. Bennet were his companions. Mr. Bennet however still seemed excessively cold and frigid the entire journey home. Anything Darcy said was taken completely out of context.

Then the gloating and shrieking and the sighing of the ladies. Darcy had felt so sorry putting Georgiana in the carriage with them but she appeared none the worst for the ordeal. Darcy did not know how he managed through the meal, then he thought he could retire quietly to bed with Lizzy.

But no, his cousin saw to it that he had no rest. Sometime after two an express came for anyone within, it was from Matlock. Darcy managed to get downstairs and pay for it before Mr. Bennet did so.

Darcy felt it was very lucky that he had wrested it from his father-in-law , especially after translating Ash's scrawled message and wondering whether it was cognac or brandy that had precipitated the letter.

Darcy managed to give a vaguely reasonable reason for the message. Urgent family business, to which Ash decided to add the happy news. After spending half an hour reassuring Mrs. Bennet that the urgent family news was not the loss of the Matlock Title or fortune, he dragged himself off to bed.

Of course he did not count on Lizzy wishing to know what the letter contained. He let Lizzy read the letter and she was just as confused as he was.

"Is Ash out of his senses?"

"Quite possibly."

"I'm so glad you did not let Papa see this, otherwise...."

"He'd be at odds with two son-in-laws?"

"Yes..........I've tried so hard to explain.."

"Nevermind, sleep, we all need sleep."

However sleep was not to come to Fitzwilliam Darcy, so by the morning he was still sleepless and feeling dreadful.

Instead of boring my reader with the tales of life at Pemberley, Matlock and Upper Brook Street (the home of the Bingleys), I will quickly lay out a sketch of the lives of our principal players, up until late February when we pick up our tale. In Alphabetical order:

ANDREW

Andrew spent his time mastering billiards, piquet and other card games. He rode around the grounds, used some of the guns and generally spent some quality time around his relations, ( who quite often were hurrying in the opposite direction).

ANNE

Anne was not put off by the Colonels first response to her. Instead she attempted to enlist Kitty's help. When Kitty declined to become actively involved, Anne decided that she was going to have to plan. Anne set about many strategies and exercises to win herself her Fitzwilliam. She had actually sat down and thought about it, she actually did love Richard, surprising as it was.

ASH

Ash was slowly being driven mad, Fitzwilliam tended to be consciously absent most of the time, leaving Ash to deal with Harry and Andrew. Ash had played so much piquet it was coming out of his ears and he was SURE he did not see his parents, his respectable aunt and respected uncle, running about the upper maze seemingly playing Highwaymen.

BONNIE

After several weeks, a new side of Bonnie emerged, once she became more comfortable around her companions she became more outgoing. She was still rather shy and retiring and would never think of being the ringleader in any covert operation, she was used many times as a decoy, by both sides. Fitzwilliam would insist on her delaying Anne, Anne would insist she round up Fitzwilliam, Andrew would beg her to stall Ash and Ash would bribe her to keep Andrew somewhere far away from himself.

BOTTOM (otherwise known as Mr. Collins ~ Blergh)

Mr. Collins spent the time being very attentive to Lady Catherine, he tended to forget his wife was around 4 months pregnant, but if Lady Catherine so much as sniffled he ran for the nearest doctor.

CATHERINE

Lady Catherine, spent her time reminiscing. Old toys were dug up and talked about, the maze was re-explored. Most of all Lady Catherine enjoyed relaying advice to Kitty and Richard about Children (she tried to give some advice to Ash but lately Lady Catherine's presence caused Ash just to stand there gawping). She basically gave the same advice to everyone but changed one or two words for every occasion. (She had soon realised practically no one was listening to her, except for Mr. Collins but she had to keep her skills up.) Though she did learn something in Matlock, if she sniffed Mr. Collins would run away and not return for quite sometime, usually with a man in tow that Lady Catherine found she had no qualms about sending away brusquely.

CHARLOTTE

Charlotte was quite content, as always, she spent her days discussing things with Kitty or playing with Lewis. If it disturbed her that her husband spent more time worrying about Lady Catherine's health it did not show.

CHRISTIAN (Sir)

Franz convinced Sir Christian to at least meet Mary again and then make a decision. So Sir Christian attended a few parties and on every meeting with Miss Mary Bennet, she would sniff and walk in the opposite direction she had obviously heard all about Sir Christian. This of course made up Sir Christian's mind........

DARCY

Darcy was slowly being driven out of his mind. If he heard the words 'La my daughter LADY ASHBOURNE' once more, he was going to scream, in fact several times he did actually scream, although he pretended that he had injured himself. Darcy was so precariously on the edge of sanity and insanity that he was actually plotting how to run away to Africa.......although he would have to take Lizzy with him and he didn't think she'd like the climate.

EDWIN (and Harriet)

Edwin enjoyed Matlock Close for the first time in years. Once his children had grown up, he had tried to spend less and less time there and the time he did spend there was conveniently taken up with estate business and kept him very busy. But this trip Edwin was enjoying himself, Richard was shown all the changes and Richard reminded him of various things that he had forgotten about. The time Aunt Cornelia fell into the rose bushes and the time Cousin Gladys set her wig on fire. Edwin felt a whole new spin on life coming back to him, he was being spun back to a time when time was enjoyed not only passed. Harriet always enjoyed Matlock but now that her husband was enjoying herself she was infinitely more content not to mention her impending grandmotherhood.

FITZWILLIAM

Fitzwilliam hadn't been this concerned since he found himself covered in blood and had accidentally stumbled across the enemy's camp. Fitzwilliam was a sworn bachelor but we must say that he did admire his cousin Anne, who couldn't admire a girl who managed to survive Lady Catherine for 25 years ?? However he had this feeling that she was not the shy retiring girl he thought she was. There had been several incidents that appeared to Fitzwilliam to point to the fact that Anne was planing a coup d'état. Not that he would stop Anne fighting her mother but it seemed as though the point was not to fight her mother, who seemed to be off in fairy-land but to take prisoners of the male variety.................

HARRY

Harry was enjoying society far superior to what he was used to (excepting his father). Although he got many letters from his sister and Mama begging for news and asking if he had met anyone 'interesting'. Luckily Harry opinion on who was interesting vastly differed from his family's so they were disappointed by the sparseness of his letters. Harry was as we have stressed before is a very gentleman like man and his manners were very mild and pleasing so he recommended himself to everyone. He did have a partiality towards Bonnie, which was reciprocated but he understood her to be too young for the moment and his own modesty brought him to believe she would be expected to make a better match then a lawyers son.

KITTY

Kitty had some nice talks with Charlotte, Lady Catherine and Lady Matlock not to mention her mother was prevented from visiting. Although Kitty had declined from being actively involved in Anne's little scheme she did play her part. She helped Anne choose new clothes that suited her, helped her dress her hair and most of all accompanied her on her prescribed healthy activities. The fact that Kitty happened to be present at any climax of Anne's plans was purely coincidental. The fact that she wouldn't have missed Anne shooting an arrow into Fitzwilliam's hat for the world, is purely also again by chance. The arrow scheme worked quite well, Fitzwilliam had to dismount and investigate and then had to satisfy Anne's concern for his heath. Then he had to carry a swooning Anne into the summer house. Surprisingly Kitty accidentally misheard them and thought that Anne was being taken to the Greenhouse but Kitty enjoyed her time amongst the flowers immensely.

LIZZY

Lizzy tried to keep her husband as far away as possible from the rest of the household. She tried to avoid her aunt's and mother's subtle or not so subtle hints about how she should be following Kitty's lead. Lizzy did not understand how her mother could think that she could do something like 'that' on command. The comments of her father got to her more, he was being civil to Darcy but that was it and Elizabeth was pained to see that no rapport was building up between them.

MARY

Mary was not by nature the type of woman who thinks that men are throwing themselves at her. She knew men did not throw themselves at her, for she had seen them doing so to her older and younger sisters and no one had ever acted like that around her. However she was getting the distinct impression that Sir Christian or Monty as he was known was following her around. He appeared at all the outings Mary took. Mary had been informed about his reputation and she was thoroughly disgusted. On one hand she found him a repulsive and reprehensible young man to be acting in the manner which he was but on the other, if she did have so called power over him couldn't she reform him??? Not to mention that a baronet was so much better then her uncle's clerk.

MR BENNET

Mr. Bennet was pleased at his fourth daughter's news, and if he had wished the first grandchild would be borne by his second daughter not a word crossed his lips. He was greatly pained by his wife and sister-in-law's comments to Lizzy and he was still angry at Mr. Darcy. Although Lizzy had explained to him that he had misunderstood the argument Mr. Bennet was still annoyed.

MRS BENNET

Thrilled to pieces would be overall state of Mrs. Bennet's mind

RICHARD

Richard enjoyed his time, he had time to relax, to think about his affairs, now that he was back in England. He talked more to his children, he listened to his sister and brother and overall enjoyed himself. .

Chapter 18

Posted on Friday, 24 March 2000, at 7 : 13 a.m.

Mary sat in the Bingley's library, she had taken some care over her appearance. The dress she was wearing was new, it was a striking blue colour and matched Mary's hair very nicely. Mary had the darkest hair of the family and therefore she felt the plainest. Jane had insisted that she treat Mary to a new wardrobe, Mary after much badgering had acceded to Jane's wishes. Mary had also had one of the maids do her hair in a much more becoming style, consequently she looked less severe.

Mary had declined to go with Jane to pay a call on Miss Bingley, one might suspect that she just did not care for Miss Bingley's company but Mary had a more clandestine motive.

Charles had left London briefly to sort out some problems on the Netherfield estate. During this short absence various people had been paying regular calls on the Bingley household. Mary had finally made up her mind regarding a certain gentleman, she worked out she had two options her mother or a rake. She infinitely preferred the second option because she would be married and she would have a 'project', the reformation of a character something that Mary had always tried to do but never succeeded.

However Mary was jumping the gun a bit, because no proposal had happened and quite frankly she had spurned anything that remotely looked like an advance.

Sir Christian mounted the steps in Upper Brook Street, sighing. He was always one for a challenge and when women did not fall all over him he tended to get rather upset. He however had a sinking suspicion that nothing but the ultimate sacrifice would let him win this time.

Though Sir Christian was not adverse to the 'ultimate sacrifice' because he knew it had to happen sometime, he severely doubted that Miss Bennet would actually accept him and secretly he hoped she wouldn't because several aspects about her did not appeal to him. It wasn't her looks mind, it was her attitude.

However, women did NOT reject Sir Christian Montgomery, so here he was actually knocking on the door.

The porter showed him into the library. The library of all places! Thought Sir Christian with a shudder, Miss Bennet was definitely a blue-stocking.

Miss Bennet rose when he entered the room, silently Sir Christian bowed opened his mouth and began.

Sir Christian walked into Waiter's, still in shock. He was ENAGAGED. Something had just made him go and propose marriage to a blue-stocking that was plain, moralistic and strangely interesting. Worse, she had accepted him, Why? Well that was not a hard question, he had money (he hadn't wasted the bulk of his fortune) and he was a Baronet.

Sir Christian sat down, staring into space. Franz Norstrom and Sir John Halstead, walked past, doubled back, took up the chairs around him. Sir Christian didn't even move, he just sat their with his mouth hanging open and this glazed expression on his face.

"Monty??" Franz grabbed Sir Christian by the shoulders and shook. This elicited a response, but we won't write the exact wording here.

"Monty? What the devil is going on?"

"I'm engaged." Whispered Sir Christian hoarsely.

"Your ENAGED???" yelled Sir John. Practically every head turned to the three men in wonderment. Just as quickly the heads jerked back and a loud whispering arose.

Sir Christian leaned very close to Sir John, who had a stricken 'I'm sorry' look plastered across his face. Sir Christian put an arm on his shoulder and solemnly said. "Thank you John, I was wondering how I was going to break it to them."

Sir Christian stood up and slowly left the club. Sir John and Franz stared after him dazedly. But they had other problems to deal with, with the departure of Sir Christian the rabid mobs bore down on the two unfortunate men demanding details!, details!!, details!!!

Mr Bennet received, very shortly hereafter, in fact as quick as an express could have humanly made it. In short the letter was from a Sir Christian Montgomery asking for his remaining daughters hand. A second express arrived not long after from the said remaining daughter, who spoke very moralistically about how she wished to marry the said gentleman.

Mr Bennet, without consulting a single person sent off a letter of his own, stating he had no objection to the match.

Now dear reader you will now see the importance of Lizzy and Darcy's previous spat, if Mr Bennet was not still angered by this supposed mistreatment of his beloved daughter he may have approached Mr Darcy about the young gentleman's character. Mr Darcy would have had objections because Sir Christian it can be argued is not a gentleman. However the deed is done and Mary's fate is sealed.

Soon after, Sir John Halstead found his good friend, Monty sitting in Waiter's turning a missive first one way and then another way. He had a rather bemused look on his face. Sir John was worried, very worried. So worried in fact that he sat there nodding understandingly at his friend.

A pretty picture they made when Franz Norstrom chanced to walk by on his way out.

"What the devil are you two doing?" asked Franz leaning on his cane.

"He said yes." replied Sir Christian dully.

"Shouldn't that be she said yes, Monty?" replied Franz jovially.

Sir Christian shook his head, "I got permission from Mr Bennet."

"Really? Well didn't I tell you no one would object!! And weren't you saying just the other day that you wouldn't mind marrying Miss Bennet as she was an enigma??"

Sir Christian looked up from the missive, which was currently being read sideways, " I didn't think I'd be accepted. What can Darcy be about?"

"Do you think father's consult their sons-in-law constantly??"

"I would think...............It just doesn't seem right..........." Sir Christian petered out, he still didn't know his own mind. Did he want to marry Miss Bennet? She seemed like she would not trouble him and while he was not under the hatches at the moment having brother-in-laws like Bingley, Ash and Darcy could not be all bad. It was like a swinging pendulum in his mind.

"Oh dash it all, where do I obtain a special licence? Got to get it over and done with...."

"Walk bravely to your execution" laughed Franz.

Sir John slowly caught on to the situation, "You ARE going to get married NOW??????" He cried. For the second time in as many days heads turned.

Sir Christian and Franz looked wiltingly at him.

Mary trembled at the sight of the church, how had she been persuaded....indeed she had not even told anyone, except Papa, of her news. It was positively sinful, though it could not be as they had gained permission. But what would Fordyce say? Surely this was grossly improper behaviour for her to be behaving in. However people did tell her that she should expect excitement in London, and she did not think she would be married....

Though she thought it would be such a good joke if she was... Nope wrong sister. But as you see Mary is somewhat bowled over, practicality given over to passion but not a passion for her intended, but a passion for being out of her families clutches.(and isn't the chance of reforming a man always too tempting??)

"Lady Montgomery??" A man looked at Mary strangely, it was some person who had been introduced as Franz...or something like that, he offered her arm to him, Mary accepted in a daze.

Chapter 19

Posted on Monday, 27 March 2000, at 6 : 47 a.m.

I must thank Georgette Heyer for creating Lord Worth... And I also must point out to everyone I used the phrase 'ventre a terre'! I've been longing to use it! And thank you to Erin, for letting me use her crazy Character, Everyone just GUESS WHICH CHARACTER SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE!

Ash sat in the large expanse of bed, he had rather lazily ordered breakfast up to his room, and was sitting devouring some muffins, with a rather comical night-cap perched upon his head. A servant had just delivered two expresses to him.

The first was from the Earl of Worth and the second appeared to be written by a unknown female hand.

Ash was surprised that Worth would write express to him, so he opened his letter first.

Ash,

Rather alarming news for you.

Ash sat straighter up in bed

I have been attending Waiter's frequently and I found myself twice in the position of overhearing some as I have previously put it, alarming news.

Ash picked up another piece of muffin and wondered whether the news was that Worth was under the hatches or that some other friend was, in fact Ash was aware that Brummell appeared to be wading more and more into the River Tick.

The first occasion: Sir Christian Montgomery walked into Waiter's apparently in some distress.

Probably he was in debt thought Ash brushing some crumbs off the bedspread.

He was joined by Sir John Halstead and Mr. Franz Norstrom.

Definitely a shady bunch.

Suddenly Halstead exclaimed, "You're Engaged!!" Sir Christian quickly left and the club descended upon the remaining two demanding to know the girl's name as many had laid bets that Sir Christian would never be married.

Of course, Worth you would not be one of the party. Chuckled Ash, sipping some tea.

I of course gained my information from other places.

Second Occasion: Happened yesterday and I would have written earlier if I had realised the full ramifications.

Ramifications?

Again the three were in Waiter's and again Halstead cried out something significant. This time he cried 'You are going to get married now!!" The club of course assumed that Sir Christian had definitely had got himself into some troubles to run hastily into a marriage.

Obviously married some heiress thought Ash, poor girl, poor family.

I went straight home and I happened to mention what had occurred to Clorinda, who informed me that apparently the girls name was a MISS MARY BENNET, staying in Upper Brook Street. Judith was desirous of me to assure her that this was no relation to your charming wife. But I fear that no assurance is to come.

WORTH

Ash's eyes almost bulged out of his sockets. He very hastily ripped open the second letter.

My Lord Ashbourne,

I have written to you because I do not know what to do and I feel that either you can be the only one's to assist me.

My sister, turned up on my doorstep desiring her trunks to be packed for she was removing to her husbands home. Indeed it is true, Mary my last sister has ran off and allied her self with a gentleman called Sir Christian Montgomery.

I feel that my sister will be supremely happy but I do not know how to break the matter to my Mama, indeed that is why I have written to you, for writing to Mr Darcy or indeed anyone at Pemberley would precipitate in a demand to know what my letter has said.

Please can you be of assistance, since Mr Bingley is at Netherfield and is not returning until next week.

Your's Etc

Jane Bingley.

Ash closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Calm thoughts, Calm thoughts, Calm thoughts. To hell with that!

Mrs. Reynolds was bustling about in the foyer of Pemberley, great activity was occurring about her. The Bennets, along with Mrs. Phillips were returning to Hertfordshire, Lydia was returning to her husband and the rest of the party to London.

Mrs. Reynolds had thought that the Darcys would prefer to stay in the country but it was time for Georgiana to make her debut. Mrs. Reynolds walked out into the courtyard directing servants, suddenly her attention was directed to a horse 'ventre a terre' out towards the house.

Mrs. Reynolds was very surprised to see Lord Ashbourne practically throw himself from the horse and with out so much as a by your leave, race into the house.

Darcy held Elizabeth in his arms and planted a kiss on her forehead.

"Well William, are you glad to be leaving Pemberley??" asked Elizabeth with a smile.

"No I wish I could stay here, but Georgie should have a debut!"

"Of course she should, she deserves one."

Darcy smiled and he held her even closer, but suddenly the door burst open, Ash stood on the doorstep looking slightly dishevelled. Darcy glared at him.

"Darce, a word? In Private?" gasped Ash. Then he seemed to notice Elizabeth and stood up straighter and recovered his countenance.

"Ash go downstairs I will await you there." Replied Darcy coldly, as much as he loved his cousin, it was he who was master here.

Ash did not turn around, instead he strode into the middle of the room, folded his arms and gave the impression that only a very strong wind would make him move and even then he wouldn't go without a fight.

Elizabeth untangled herself from Darcy and moved out of the room. Darcy used the 'look' on his cousin.

No No not THAT look! But the evil glaring look. That would unnerve most men, but not our Lord Ashbourne, who just returned a fiercer one.

"I received a letter from Worth today." Stated Ash.

"You came all this way to tell me that???"

"Yes. Read it." Ash removed the letter from his coat and gave it to Darcy.

Darcy read it quickly, his brow creasing. Darcy quickly passed him Jane's letter too.

"But....But she is underage."

"Exactly."

"He is not the sort of man whom................."

"Exactly"

"Why would Mary....."

"That I don't know."

"She is so, so, moralistic and he is......."

"an utter rake?" replied Ash.

"Unprincipled, immoral, base, libertine....."

"I don't think he is quite as bad as that Darce, he is what 26? Not wholly set in his character yet."

"You know him???"

"Very, very slightly it's more of a case of I know of him."

"So you think this is a good match?" spat out Darcy.

"No. Just let us not overreact. The main problem is Mary's age."

"Yes, yes, let us consult Mr. Bennet."

The two men practically galloped down the stairs and arrived quite breathlessly on the library threshold looking rather like a couple of ruffled school boys.

"Mr. Bennet!" they cried out simultaneously. Mr. Bennet turned and looked at them with a query in his eyes.

Ash held out the letters and Mr. Bennet adjusted his spectacles and read them.

"Oh." He replied, "Mrs. Bennet will be distraught."

"Oh? Oh? It's an illegal marriage!" cried Darcy pacing the room. "With an immoral character."

"I gave my permission." Replied Mr. Bennet coldly. Both Ash and Darcy gave a start, Darcy felt as though he was about to burst. However his cousin summing up Darcy's feelings, quickly interjected.

"Oh well that is a weight off our minds, isn't it Darce?? Not the best of characters but we hardly know Sir Christian! Shouldn't judge, dare say it will be a happy match!"

Mr. Bennet swept rather regally out of the room. Darcy then exploded.

"Dare say they will be happy???"

"We don't know that they won't be!" retorted Ash.

"Not the best of characters! That would be the biggest understatement in history!"

"As I said before characters aren't fixed at 26, if they were what a problem you would be in Darcy."

Darcy gaped at his cousin and stormed out of the library slamming the door.

Mary sat on the floor of her chambers, her trunk sat before her and she was searching through it very rapidly, she finally found the book she was looking for. She stood up and very slowly and rather shakily walked over to the connecting door. Tentatively pushing it open, and after making sure no one was inside, strode over and placed the book on Sir Christian's bedside table. She raced out of the room and down the stairs.

Mary was not the type of girl to be prone to racing, but suddenly upon getting married she felt the compunction to race. The house in Clarges Street was a very comfortable establishment, though too obviously a bachelors establishment. Speaking of the former bachelor, Mary was quite curious to know where he was, not that Mary cared now that she had her establishment. Mary strolled into the very self styled music room, self-styled as in it was obviously decorated by someone who a) had never played music before in their life b) disliked music immensely or more likely c) someone who didn't mind music as long as it stayed pure on the page so therefore arranged the room in such a way that playing music was impossible. Mary squeezed herself before the piano, realised that she had no sheet music but decided to play from memory rather then try and get out from behind the piano.

Mary opened the lid with some difficulty and found that she was unable to play the keys directly in front of her unless she used her chin, which would of course been very improper. Mary thought very calm thoughts, she thought very moral and rational thoughts. Mary began to play, it sounded very odd, because one hand was forced to play very high notes, and the other deep notes. Mary noted with disgust that sometime was smeared over the lower keys.

Mary closed her eyes and played.

"Ah Mary," called a deep voice.

Mary played a crashing chord as her eyes flew open. Sir Christian stood looking at her, idly flipping through the book that Mary had left in his chambers.

"Letters on the improvement of the mind ~ by Chapone"

"Yes ~ a very rewarding book." Replied Mary thinking carefully.

"It appears it is, " Sir Christian was now regarding it with his quizzing glass, " If I was a woman."

"It can be enlightening to both the sexes." Stated Mary coldly.

"Well I think it would bore me," Sir Christian tossed the book down upon one of the sofas and looked at Mary.

"Isn't that uncomfortable?" Sir Christian walked over and peered over the piano.

"Yes, why on earth would you place a piano here?"

"I wouldn't have a clue."

"Why not it's your house!" exclaimed Mary.

"Well Franz helped quite a bit , and so did Mother and Aunt Erimentha. I believe my aunt did this bit of the house."

"Do you never do anything for yourself?" asked Mary.

"Not if I can help it" replied Sir Christian jovially. "Oh and Mary I'd expect my aunt any day now. Lady Marcross, Erimentha Marie, Erin. Just don't say I didn't warn you."

Sir Christian wandered out of the room and Mary extracted herself from behind the piano and picked up the discarded book. Well thought Mary, I shall teach him morals, even if it is the death of me!

Kitty sat rigidly up in her barouche, scanning Hyde Park, she hardly knew any body as it was her 1st season as Lady Ashbourne, but she hadn't spent two months in the company of Lady Catherine, Lady Matlock and Anne without learning a vast deal about what was expected of her. Although the advice was contradictory and Anne hadn't really ever been out in society, she had more theoretical but not practical experience.

So Kitty was scanning the park desperately for anyone that she knew, she was sorry that she hadn't prevailed upon Ash to come out with her, but she knew he was busy with Bingley and Darcy trying to sort out the Mary Mess.

Consequently Kitty didn't notice when a very fine mare reigned in beside the carriage.

"Kitty!"

Kitty turned and came face to face with the new Duchess of Whitfield.

"Sophy!"

"I'm very sorry for not writing as often as I should, but as a married woman I don't have time to write!" Kitty looked at her friend and remembered Lydia saying something very similar and was shocked at how similar the two were in many ways.

"It doesn't matter! I shouldn't have had time to read them Sophy, for Lady Catherine kept me far too busy!"

Sophy gave a giggle. Sophy was obviously in high spirits, she had a startlingly blue riding habit on, with a bonnet perched upon masses upon masses of blonde ringlets, adorning the top of the bonnet was a group of large feathers. She was a very awe-inspiring view, to the maidens walking along the promenade hoping to be noticed by some notable person, but to Kitty it was a rather amusing sight.

"Oh you are admiring my bonnet! I hoped you might, you see I am hoping set fashion and as you are simply my dearest friend you must follow my fashion!"

Kitty couldn't help but giggle at this. Sophy sniffed at her and looked as though she was about to take offence but then laughed.

"I love being a duchess! It's so refreshing!" Kitty frowned at Sophy.

"Though I suppose if my Spence was a chimney sweep I would love being a chimney sweepess!!"

Both girls burst out laughing at this.

Chapter 20

Posted on Tuesday, 4 April 2000, at 3 : 22 a.m.

Harry blanched as he inspected the clothes. The cravats were over a foot long and the shirt points looked as though he would be lost in them. Not to mention the travesties of the waistcoats! Harry knew that blue with yellow stripes an inch wide denoted the Four Horse Club and was a mark of great respect but he felt that blue and orange was repulsive. Not to mention the lucid green that plagued him.

Harry turned to the coats, they were too small, he would have to be forced into them if he needed to wear them. As for the pantaloons, he was sure luminous yellow was not a colour that flattered him, however tight they were.

Harry finally turned to his sister Vicky.

"Well Harry what do you think! Now that you have such influential friends you will have to start dressing like this. " Harry was sure sisters , especially younger sisters shouldn't be looking at him like Vicky was.

"Oh Harry you will have to introduce me to all your new friends!"

"What happened to Rosalind?"

"Whom? Oh the baron's daughter, yes well." Vicky fluttered her eyelashes and flounced out of the room.

Harry bit the end of his thumb, looking at the ghastly new raiment spread around the room. Suddenly the door burst open and Andrew strode in.

"Harry! How are you! Gracious what fine clothes!" Harry looked sideways at Andrew, but he appeared to be deadly serious.

Harry sized up Andrew, he was roughly the same size perhaps a little smaller. Perfect! Thought Harry.

Lady Erimentha Marcross strode out of her carriage in Clarges Street, determined to make the most of the situation. She frowned as she saw the smoke billowing out of the chimneys.

She was very worried about the reports that had filtered through to her in St James Square. She was very worried about her nephew Christian, she knew all about the activities that young men got involved in, she had a son at Oxford, she knew all that happened up there, what with the dreadful draughts and all, and the news that her nephew had suddenly got married did not help her worries at all.

As she was shown up to the drawing room, Erimentha who by the way everyone called Erin, she looked around, to see what this 'new wife' had changed.

Erin had her eyes closed as she walked into the drawing room, she had a fair idea what would assail her eyes if she opened them, a veritable goddess and one who looked more like an opera dancer then a lady.

Erin opened her eyes and gasped.

Mary watched as the woman was shown into the room, she had her eyes screwed up and was dressed rather eccentrically. Mary had no idea what to do with a lady, who seemed to refuse to open her eyes. But suddenly her eyes flew open.

"My god! A vision! Oh I'm so happy! How plain you are! Oh no I see you are not that plain, rather striking! How happy am I!" The woman strode the remaining steps to Mary's side and enveloped her in a rather crushing embrace.

Col F. walked arm in arm with his brother in Hyde Park.

"So you have to accept this marriage?" asked Col F.

"Of course we have to, Mr Bennet did, who am I to condemn?"

"But, it will not be Mr Bennet that Sir Christian comes to when he is in distress!"

Ash shrugged. Col F. thought that he was taking this rather well, unlike Darcy who seemed to think it a personal affront that Mary would run off with a reckless young gentleman.

"But surely you have already to think about Wickham! Surely you don't want another gentleman parked on your doorstep!"

Ash gasped, grasped Col F's arm and stopped dead still. At first Col F. thought that it was in reaction to what he had just said, but he saw his brother reach for his rarely used quizzing glass. Col F. scanned the direction his brother was looking in.

"What is it Ash? Don't tell me its......................Anne!" cried Col. F with some pain in his voice.

"No No it's Andrew, cannot you see him Fitz!"

Col F looked more searchingly and suddenly Andrew practically popped out of the landscape at him. Andrew was dressed in a very fine pair of bright yellow pantaloons, a orange and blue waistcoat, a very tight blue coat, shirt points that obviously blinkered his vision and had a monstrosity of a cravat protruding outwards. Col F swallowed very slowly.

There was no communication between the brothers, but they very slowly at the same time turned around and started to walk at a smart pace in the opposite direction. They dared not look at one another.

The next thing Col F saw was Sir Christian on the path before them strolling in their direction. In Col F's mind, they were trapped between a rock and a hard place, or in this case a Coxcomb and a Rake.

Now the problem is that the men couldn't create a scene in such a public place as Hyde Park so they would have to either countenance Sir Christian as a relation, well Ash would have to or on the other hand it would have to be seen that their young cousin had taken to the extremes of fashion, of which neither of the gentleman approved, but they could hardly tell Andrew that, in such a public place!

Much to Col F's surprise Ash released his hand and greeted Sir Christian.

"Monty!"

Sir Christian looked up, he had been briefly looking through yet another book left on his bedside table; 'The improvement of the mind or a supplement to the Art of Logic: Containing a variety of remarks and rules for the Attainment and communication of us.' By a one Isaac Watts.

This book daunted him, but the sight he saw next, daunted him further, it was Lord Ashbourne.

"Monty! Turn around at once!"

These words didn't soothe Sir Christian especially when he saw Lord Ashbourne's younger brother, fully decked out in his impressive military attire looming behind on the path. So Sir Christian slowly turned around and found himself being hurried along the path flanked by the gentleman.

"Fitzwilliam, you did see Andrew back there didn't you?"

"Yes I did!"

"Good I thought I was seeing things."

Sir Christian did not know what to make of this strange conversation, so he attempted to look over his shoulder to see if he could see this 'Andrew' person.

"Don't do that Monty!" cried Col Fitzwilliam. Sir Christian snapped his head back and looked dead ahead.

Sir Christian found himself hurried into Park Lane and into Ashbourne House. It wasn't too long before he found himself in possession of a large Madeira.

Sir Christian felt that some explanation was in order and being the rather jovial fellow he was he felt that it was up to him to provide it.

"I think I probably owe you an Explanation Lord Ashbourne, but for the life of me I can't think of one!"

Lord Ashbourne arched his eyebrows and looked quizzically in Sir Christian's direction.

"For..............?" he asked

"For marrying Mary."

"Oh"

A large chuckle erupted from Col Fitzwilliam, he had picked up the discarded book. The book was unceremoniously chucked over to Lord Ashbourne who couldn't help but smile.

"My dear Monty you no longer need to explain anything. You obviously must be in love.......

Harry mounted the stairs in Park Lane, almost running into a young man exiting Ashbourne house. Harry thought he looked slightly bewildered, but he didn't give it another thought.

He was shown into the study.

"Lord Ashbourne, Colonel Fitzwilliam, " Harry made his bows, " I need a favour."

He saw the formidable arched eyebrow but he continued, the fact that he had to close his eyes is neither here nor there.

"I need some advice on how to purchase clothes that are suitable. My mother kindly bought me clothes which were entirely unsuitable which I gave to Andrew."

Here Harry took a breath while he collected his thoughts, which were threatening to dwell on the total hideousness of the aforementioned clothes. But Harry wasn't allowed to continue as he heard Lord Ashbourne and Colonel Fitzwilliam laughing. A hand descended upon his shoulders.

"Harry don't tell me you gave Andrew that, that, dreadful arrangement of apparel I just saw him in??"

Harry looked at Lord Ashbourne and in what he hoped was a very sincere air nodded.

"Yes, he liked it, and I'm afraid I didn't."

"Knew you had something between your ears!" gulped Colonel Fitzwilliam.

"Was he wearing the blue and orange?" asked Harry.

"Yes...............is that the worst of it?" asked Lord Ashbourne.

Harry shook his head. He laughed at the horrified faces.

Chapter 21

Posted on Tuesday, 11 April 2000, at 7 : 12 a.m.

Author's Note: Parfait means Perfect and Jamais Means Never. French obtained from my school French dictionary. I told you I was being influenced by Georgette Heyer

Sir Christian struggled up the stairs to his house in Clarges Street ruminating on the enlightening information he had just received. He must admit that he was becoming a bit disturbed by the books that were turning up on his bedside table and well he knew Mary was moralistic. But to be so moralistic as to wish to change him?

Sir Christian would have gone straight up to his own rooms, but his butler informed him that Lady Marcross was with Mary and well Sir Christian couldn't let her get fed to the crazy relations just yet.

Sir Christian walked in, and saw Mary on the couch looking rather shocked and pale.

"So yes my dear Mary, what a nice name that is you know I had a pug named Mary years ago, not to say you resemble her at all anyway, I feel that it is the duty of all women to completely understand such matters. I mean there is no reason in the world to be missish or squeamish, I mean I get right in and have a go! Especially when it involves being of assistance, though I can't bear to be dirty."

Sir Christian's eyes' widened. As did Mary's. Sir Christian could see her moralistic mind ticking over.

"I mean all this nonsense that only men get to is simply stupid and as for paying...well I never bother and neither should you, I'd be happy to teach you! What I suggest first is a nice big brush!"

Sir Christian almost stumbled over the rug. Mary looked up and noticed him.

"Ah Mary, I collect my aunt has been speaking to you about clearing out chimneys!"

Mary looked a little startled, but Aunt Erimentha looked fondly at him.

"Monty, it has been such a long time, come and sit on my knee!"

"Aunt!" exclaimed Sir Christian. "I'm 26!"

"What has that got to do with anything?"

Sir Christian looked rather helplessly at Mary.

"Lady Marcross, I believe you arranged the music room!" interjected Mary, " I believe it is every woman's duty to be proficient in such arts. But I must say the position of the piano is rather unusual."

"Oh yes Mary! I don't play the piano, but I feel it is a very proper place for one."

There was a huge pause, where Sir Christian desperately thought of something diverting to say, but although many things popped into his brain he knew his aunt was not easily distracted.

"Proper place?" echoed Mary.

"Oh yes, if you stand on the seat, you can see straight into the Neighbours, such shocking activities go on in there! I can tell you! "

Sir Christian noticed that Mary was stiffening again.

"I collect you are talking about the state of their chimneys?!!?" asked Sir Christian desperately.

Richard very slowly walked down the stairs, he had just been to Grace's old Trustee's, he thought he might have to fill out formalities. He didn't realise quite what he let himself in for. The question is, did Edwin know?

Of course Edwin would know, he had been Grace's legal guardian. You would think he would have made more of an effort to find us. What and drag you back to England kicking and screaming? That would have helped. No the devil! He should have found us. He should have, he should have! Why didn't he say anything at Christmas? He gave me Mama's will?? Richard's mind was full of conflicting thoughts as he wandered aimlessly.

Richard practically bumped into Andrew, but the sight of his son, brought him abruptly to a standstill.

"What the devil are you wearing?"

"And then you slowly lift your head up, and then lower it, up and lower it, slowly creasing the cravat as you go."

Harry obeyed, the rather terse comments coming from Lord Ashbourne .

"SLOWLY, SLOWLY."

Harry slowed down, to a rather neck crackingly slow pace.

"You aren't still thinking of me as Lord Ashbourne are you?"

Harry saw the piercing glare directed at him.

"Uh-what else should I know you as?"

"Renaldo" exclaimed Col. Fitzwilliam with a laugh.

Harry jerked his head to look at Lord Ashbourne, who gave a groan.

"Stop being idiotic Fitzwilliam! You've ruined the cravat Harry!"

Harry looked ruefully into the mirror, Lord Ashbourne appeared to his right, Col. Fitzwilliam to his left.

"You know Ash that doesn't look too bad?"

"I was thinking the same thing. Voila Harry! I give you the -"

"Harry Waterfall?" exclaimed Harry hopefully.

Ash raised the eyebrow, " I was thinking more like the 'Accidental Harry'"

Harry put on a sulky face. He didn't think that sounded very grand.

"Translate into French!" cried Col. Fitzwilliam

"Accidentel Harry.....makes a great difference!" retorted Ash.

"Le involontaire Harry!" smiled Harry.

"Parfait!"

The three men, nodded at the mirror, at the nicely attired Harry.

Kitty strolled slowly along Bond Street with Sophy. Surprisingly spending just a little time in Sophy's company and Kitty had met a grand amount of people. So Kitty was obviously feeling much better about the whole society thing.

"So Kitty my dear, can you guess who called on me, when I arrived back in town???"

Kitty looked at Sophy questioningly.

For who could Kitty know of Sophy's acquaintance, Sophy who had been part of the ton since her coming out. Kitty was most puzzled.

"Oh you know this person!"

"Sophy I really do not think I do!"

"Yes you do! Think Orange!"

"Miss Bingley!" cried Kitty.

Sophy nodded. "Why on earth would Miss Bingley call on you?"

"She was in mourning!"

Kitty eyes almost bulged out of her sockets, "Still???"

Sophy gave a giggle, "Who on earth would she do the same thing to?"

"Aunt Catherine, she wanted to 'help poor Anne into society'"

"Lady Catherine didn't take it well did she?"

"Not particularly!"

The women, ambled into Piccadilly.

"How is Anne?" asked Sophy after a short silence, where both women contemplated the idea of Lady Catherine sparring with a Miss Bingley attired in mourning.

"She is very well. In fact there is something I've been meaning to ask you in relation to Anne."

Sophy turned her turbaned head towards Kitty with an inquiring look. "Something about Anne? You must know that I only met her, when we came up to town before."

"Yes, Yes! But you are the perfect person of whom to ask! It's much in the way of a project!"

Sophy's blue eyes sparkled. "Project?"

"Yes, Anne is planning a coup d'état!"

"Of Lady Catherine?" gasped Sohpy.

"Well break free from her rule at least. But the real revolution is the storming of the citadel of Fitzwilliam!" laughed Kitty.

Sophy's jaw dropped. "My, my you know they would be perfect together!"

"I knew you would be in agreement. But I do not want to actively participate, I have renounced match-making forever!"

"Ah, now Spencer will help...."

"Oh no Sophy it would be much better if Spencer were not allowed to 'être dans le coup'*"

"Leave my Spencer out in the cold? Jamais!"

"But I have a better intrigue to involve him in!" laughed Kitty.

Anne stepped down from the coach and looked up at the Matlock residence, she straightened her hat and turned to make sure her mother alighted all right from the carriage. It was assault one from Anne, the first thing she had to go was wear down his defences.

"Come Mother, " called Anne as she sallied up the steps and was admitted into the foyer area.

"Lady Matlock is from home, Miss De Bourgh" Stated Herringsworth.

"That is quite all right, is the Colonel at home?"

"Yes Miss, " replied Herringsworth, before turning to Lady Catherine to help her divest herself of a coat.

Anne indicated that she would show herself into the little study area, she knew was just off the hallway to the back.

"Richard!" she called as she crossed the threshold. That particular gentleman jumped several feet in the air and spilt ink across the letter he had been working on.

"Anne!" He cried trying to blot the ink up.

"I'm very glad to see you, Richard, I was quite afraid you might not be at home, indeed you have seemed to be from home quite a lot since we returned to London."

"Unavoidable business" replied Fitzwilliam , Anne was not fooled though. Anne was quite glad that Fitzwilliam lied to her, because it made her feel a lot better about what she was going to do.

"Well I'm glad to see you, even though I cannot stay, I am meeting Kitty in a short while. "

Anne noticed the fleeting glance of relief cross his face before he suppressed it into a look of sorrow.

"That is a pity."

"Although, dear cousin there is someone, who is most concerned about your behaviour, and I know that she has no prior engagements and will love to sit with you...all morning, if need be. "

A questioning look shot across Fitzwilliam's face, but it was soon supplanted by one of horror, when Lady Catherine burst into the room.

"Anne I will NOT have you leaving me like that! I am your mother, and you are the daughter! RICHARD! I have been hearing that you are never at home. I hope that you aren't falling into the wrong crowd! I will not have my nephew falling into the wrong sort of company..."

Anne tactfully left; smiling as she mentally added some points to her side of the score board.

* to be in on it.

---

Chapter 22

Posted on Friday, 21 April 2000, at 8 : 10 a.m.

Sir Christian sighed as Mary took the normal age to recite grace before their meal. Things had become decidedly uncomfortable around the household. What vexed him greatly was the fact that he occasionally saw glimpses of his wife, that pleased him but she would then retreat into her pious shell. Now that the seed of doubt had been sewn into his mind, he kept seeing instances when Mary appeared to be obviously trying to change his lifestyle. Sir Christian did not at all see why anyone would try and change him. Yes he gambled, but definitely not to the excess that he had seen many people succumb to. Yes, he had the reputation of being a rake, but he did not intend to continue in that course, in fact he was starting to find women a bit of a dead bore. He supposed that, that was why for some odd reason he had decided on Mary, she was not like other women. He tried to explain this all to Mary, well not all of it, but the pertinent bits, but nevertheless, Sir Christian was beginning to regret, being forced by his own egotism along with the plans of his friend into the dreaded depths of matrimony.

"The man that behaves with open rudeness, the man that avowedly laughs at virtue, the man that impudently pleads for vice; such a man is to be shunned like a rattlesnake. *"

Sir Christian's mouth dropped open, as he heard Mary's words. His eyes bulged out of his sockets. By God if that is the way she wants it! Sir Christian stood up, flung down the napkin and stormed out of the room.

* Fordyce's Sermons ~ Sermon VI (Many thanks to Caitrin for finding it)

Bonnie sighed as she watched Kitty try on yet another hat. She didn't understand the need for another hat. She suppressed a giggle as Kitty tried a turban, and smoothed a feather down so it framed her face rather prettily. She swung around, snapped open her fan and fluttered it rather seductively in front of her face. Bonnie gasped, she hadn't even seen Kitty act that....that flirtatious.

Kitty laughed at Bonnie, then snapped her fan shut, dropped it on the table, she whisked off the turban and plonked herself down upon the seat next to her.

"Oh what is taking Anne and Sophy!"

A rather rotund woman, toddled out from behind a curtain.

"Eh Bien, Madame la Vicomtesse, Mademoiselle Fitzwilliam. Où donc is Madame la Duchesse? Where ever is Mademoiselle De Bourgh?" fretted Madame Grossette. She bustled away quickly back into the void behind the curtain.

Bonnie felt rather overwhelmed by the dressmakers, fine establishment. When Kitty had informed her that her friend Sophy was hosting a small card party and that she would be attending, Bonnie had almost fainted, and now here to pick out a new outfit to show off to all those people.

"There won't be that many people their Bonnie" said Kitty. Bonnie was surprised at how Kitty appeared to be reading her mind.

Suddenly Anne flew into the room, suppressing laughter. Kitty was on her feet in a trice.

"Oh Kitty, it was priceless! I left him gaping at mother! It shall be too good!"

"Do you mean Colonel Fitzwilliam?" cried Bonnie.

Anne sat on the other side of Bonnie as Kitty returned to her seat.

I won't bore you with the rest of the conversation because in the usual female style, everything was discussed about six times, including events that occurred perhaps in the last millennium, in so much detail that it would require a entire story to quote word from word what each lady had to say. Suffice to say Bonnie thought it was a good joke to play upon someone and wished that she could be so inventive. Anne was feeling satisfaction in managing to get the better of the Colonel. Kitty was dwelling upon whether it was going to help Anne in the husband stakes.

Bonnie looked up, just as a very impressive figure burst into the room. The figure was attired in a fawn gown, with a deep brown pelisse, she had a clump of rubies descending into her plunging neckline and dangling from her ears. She wore a radiant smile and her brown turban sported freckled feathers. All in all you could say that Bonnie was impressed.

Madame Grossette sped out of the inner sanctum.

"Où etês-vous allés? " She cried, rushing to hug the figure Bonnie was very glad she had spend time on the continent, even though she hadn't actually been to France, because she could understand what was going on. Where have you been?

Kitty sprung up and hugged the figure as she cried, "Sophy"

So this was Sophy, the Duchess of Whitfield thought Bonnie. Bonnie was very impressed.

Sophy issued some instructions to Madame Grossette, who disappeared once more behind the curtains.

Bonnie looked down at the carpeted floor, she felt a gaze upon her, and Sophy knelt down upon the ground and lifted up Bonnie's face.

"Well aren't you la fille la plus jolie qui ait jamais existé!" cried Sophy looking to Kitty and then to Anne. Well aren't you the prettiest girl that ever was.

"We shall have you make you up for the party!"

Mary felt ridiculous. She had to admit she didn't look atrocious and she looked less severe then usual, but what felt ridiculous was her stomach, it felt like a war zone. She tried to severely tell herself that meeting various members of her family was in no way out of the ordinary. But that didn't seem to help, mind you thought Mary she couldn't be nervous about anything else. Just because the last day or so had been pure torture and a carriage ride with Sir Christian didn't appeal to her at all, it didn't mean a thing, why on earth should she care?

Mary walked down the steps, as she entered the hall the porter informed her that Sir Christian was awaiting her in the carriage.

Mary looked at her husband as he lounged in one corner of the chaise, she had to admit he looked very well indeed. Very rakish and immoral but very well indeed. Perhaps she shouldn't preach so at him but Mary felt that preaching was necessary to help people onto a better life. Though the niggling thought that she had preached at Lydia and nothing had happened and that Kitty had turned out well due falling in love, with a up-standing but firm gentleman.

Mary saw that Sir Christian was looking rather oddly at her.

"Mary, where are the Montgomery jewels?"

"It is proper, sir to 'never spend too much time or thought on the embellishment of the body; but always to prefer the graces of the mind, modesty, meekness, prudence, piety, with all virtuous and charitable occupations, all beautiful and useful accomplishments suited to their rank and condition'*" Mary stated.

Sir Christian cleared his throat, "Whose rank and condition would this be?"

"Christian Women sir, Fordyce 'enjoins Christian women always to dress with decency and moderation'**"

"Ah....................does Fordyce say anything about Christian woman, dressing on time and not keeping their husbands waiting?"

Mary pursed her lips together and looked out the window.

Sir Christian chuckled, "I criticise by creation - not by finding fault ***"

Mary was incensed. Everything was a joke and he didn't speak with sense or refinement. Mary was more angry with herself, though she would not admit it.

"Do not insult me sir, I have faults enough, though perhaps not as many as you sir. I must tell you sir, that the only reason I married you was that you are infinitely better then a clerk. Though your immorality and constant treatment of everything as a joke, shocks me to the core."

Mary watched as Sir Christian changed sides of the carriage to sit next to her, she flinched as he leaned towards her.

"I see that 'It is not enough to conquer; one must learn to seduce' ****"

Mary practically jumped and tried to squish herself into the corner of the chaise.

"I do not deserve to bear the brunt of your witty, stupid, sayings, Sir" She spat out.

"Ah but my dear Mary, 'A witty saying proves nothing' #"

"Don't!"

* - Fordyce's Sermons Sermon One (thanks Caitrin)
** - Fordyce's Sermons Sermon One (thanks Caitrin)
*** - Cicero (106 - 43 BC)
**** - Voltaire (1694-1778)
# - Voltaire (1694-1778)

Andrew paused to look at himself in the full length mirror standing in the corner of his room. He tried to look to the left, shirt point obscured his view, tried looking to the right, again shirt point obscured his view. Andrew attempted standing on tip-toes to see over the shirt points. It was thusly, looking rather ridiculous in the attempt of doing little jumps to see over his shirt, that Bonnie found him.

" Andrew?? What are you doing?"

"Oh Bonnie - " Andrew turned to look at his sister and stopped mid-sentence. Bonnie looked amazing, she was wearing the garnet set, and looked well past her 14 years, although she was fast reaching her 15th.

Andrew shook himself out of the reverie he straightened up, squared his shoulders and tried to mess up his mousy brown curls, unfortunately, Andrew just made his hair look messy rather then classically disordered. Andrew perceived that his sister was looking very strangely at him.

"Andy? We are late, what are you doing?"

Andrew gave a deep sigh. "I want my hair to look disordered." Andrew peered closer into the mirror. Perhaps if I just flick my head this way a little bit. Bonnie appeared in the reflection with a look of confusion on her face.

"Andrew!!! WE ARE LATE! Stop ..................." Bonnie attempted to work out what Andrew WAS doing, she gave up "doing what ever you are doing." She grasped his arm and tried to pull Andrew to the door.

"Wait a minute Bon. Cannot you see I have to arrange myself perfectly!" Andrew detached himself from his sister and then smoothed down microscopic wrinkles in his sleeve.

Bonnie did not see that Andrew had to arrange himself perfectly, in fact Andrew appeared to be doing everything in his power to disarrange himself. Bonnie did not see the point.

Andrew yanked at his cravat. Then went back to looking at himself in the mirror, the left profile, the right profile, the chin tilted ever so slighly up, the chin tilted ever so slightly down.....

I think we get the point. WE shall leave Andrew Now.

Richard looked up at the stairs and his heart leapt as he saw Bonnie tripping lightly down the stairs. She looks so like her mother. Richard anticipated watching a younger version of him self follow Bonnie so Richard waited and waited. He arched his eyebrow at Bonnie and continued waiting. Richard started to tap his foot.

"ANDREW FITZWILLIAM" Richard bellowed. The sound of running feet echoed across the ceiling. Then a creature hurdled down the stairs. Richard tried not to shudder, he thought his little talk with Andrew had worked but obviously not. Instead Richard waved his children out in front of him, so that they would not see him shaking his head into his hand.

Richard had plenty of time to think in the carriage, as Andrew as usual dominated the conversation. Richard wondered whether he should say anything to his brother, and if so how he would say it. 'I happened by Grace's trustee's yesterday' or 'Are you normally a lying cheating elder brother?' or 'Damn you Edwin!'. The carriage lurched to a stop and Richard started to feel ill.

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Chapter 23

Posted on Friday, 28 April 2000, at 2 : 19 a.m.

Ash took a long look at himself in the mirror, not realising that somewhere across town his younger cousin was doing the exact same thing. He was looking forward to the card party, however he was slightly apprehensive about how Darcy would react to the Montgomery's.

Ash was so taken up with smoothing his cravat that he didn't notice Kitty appear behind him.

"Oooooh! Look at that grey hair!" she exclaimed, before dragging him out of the room. She whisked him past the mirrors in the entrance, before Ash could even assimilate the information that she had just given him. Ash was in shock, he was only 31, grey hairs should not be occurring!!! Ash sat numbly in the carriage, trying to see his reflection in the necklace Kitty was wearing.

"Has anyone told you that you are incredibly vain?"

Ash glared at Kitty, who was smiling indulgently at him.

"I'm not vain...............it's just...................grey hair!!!" He cried waving his hair around the crown of his head.

The carriage pulled up, Ash alighted and handed Kitty down from the carriage. The party appeared to be in full swing, a quick glance around the room, proved that everyone except the Montgomery's had arrived. Kitty squeezed his hand and crossed the room to greet Sophy. Spencer loomed behind Ash.

"Now my dear Ash, I do hope you will be staking that magnificent animal again? I do so hope to win it from you this time." Spencer smiled.

Ash turned and regarded his friend, who handed him a glass.

"Oh I will most definitely stake Thunder, to appease you Spence." Ash offered his arm to Spencer with a silly little bow. As they walked off towards a table, Ash could not help saying, "Before I play you, I need your opinion.....it's about my hair.........."

Col F was out for blood. He did not care WHOSE blood, though Anne's would be preferable. He caught sight of Anne across the room from him she looked, he had to say it, ravishing. But it didn't stem the tide of Col F's anger, two hours, two hours of his life gone, due to her and her mother.

He tried to smile politely as she walked towards him.

"Dear Fitzwilliam, how are you this evening?" she practically cooed.

"Very well." He clipped his words and tried to turn away. He felt a hand on his arm. He looked into a pair of laughing eyes.

"Dear Fitzwilliam, we are to play whist, come join us." It appeared to be more of a demand then a request. It was about to forcefully refuse, when he saw that the other members were to be Darcy and Elizabeth, he could stand that he supposed. He sat down opposite Anne.

Darcy for once, seemed distracted from his game.

"Darce I have never seen you play so badly. What ever is the matter?"

"It must be his partner's fault !" laughed Elizabeth when Darcy didn't respond. Col F tapped his hand to bring him back to earth.

"Oh what? Fitzwilliam?"

"What ever is the matter?"

Darcy seemed to go back into the little daze, Col F followed his gaze and saw he was watching Andrew.

"Ahhh looking at the monstrosity of fashionable youth Darcy?"

Darcy nodded distractedly then turned to look directly at Col F. "You know Fitzwilliam I never thought better of Brummel then when I heard him say "If people turn to look at you on the street, you are not well dressed.* " It strikes me now how correct he was. "

"Very true Darcy, very true."

Col F watched as his cousin every so often looked up worriedly at Andrew.

* Beau Brummel Attrib.

Sir Christian practically ran up the steps and into the house. He practically ran into a young gentleman dressed in London's finest.

"Watch out!" the boy cried, clasping his hand to assess the damage to his cravat. Sir Christian tried not to laugh, instead he raised one eyebrow. It caused the boy to straighten up quickly and glare at him.

"Andrew Fitzwilliam I presume?"

The boy practically jumped. "How did you know who I was?"

Sir Christian laughed, "I'm all seeing and all knowing.!" Sir Christian took Andrew by the arm, and conspiratorially whispered in his ear, "But the question is do you know who I am?"

Sir Christian looked at the confused expression Andrew wore on his face and suppressed a grin that threatened to burst across his own face. Instead he strolled into the saloon that the Duchess had opened up, with the reluctant and still confused Andrew on his arm.

Sir Christian did not fail to see the expression on Darcy's face when he entered, nor did he fail to miss the several searching looks when he entered without his wife. That he mused wasn't his fault, if she chose to stay in the carriage until he was out of sight, what was he to do?

"Well my dear boy, I shall tell you that I'm Sir Christian and I must beg you to play piquet with me."

"Sir Christian............" mused Andrew. "Why do you need to beg me to play with you sir?"

"Because if you don't I shall have to talk to your cousin Darcy and I would rather put off what I must feel will be a delightful conversation until I have at least had several glasses of wine." Sir Christian saw the look in Darcy's eyes as he sat playing whist, "Indeed I think it shall have to be a great many more glasses then that."

Both young men sat down to a game of piquet and Sir Christian positioned himself with his back to Darcy.

Edwin took a long time to tear his eyes away from a picture of a neat little hunting box in Leicestershire. He was wondering why Richard was staring at him in a peculiar fashion. He felt a bit uncomfortable about Richard, he knew he was keeping a secret from his brother, but it had to be kept. But that was the point, it didn't have to be kept a secret anymore, surely. He had the deepest feeling that his secret, well not his, had been discovered.

Edwin circled the room, rather aimlessly until, his brother moved into his path, forcing him to stop.

"Edwin,"

"Richard"

"Edwin............." Started Richard, with a tone of awkwardness in his voice. Richard then cleared his throat. "Might as well come to the point Eddy, I think I should remove from my present abode and move somewhere more in line with my station."

"Of Course!" replied Edwin enthusiastically. Edwin was delighted that the conversation was not veering towards a topic that could not even be mentioned in Edwin's head.

"Yes. So well Brother I was wondering if you still had the Dowager Town House?"

"Why of course I still have it! And if you wish to move in, I shall not say no!"

"Oh no, it shall be a temporary address, I assure you brother."

"Temporary! Stay as long as you like!" Edwin felt a wave of joviality sweep into him.

"Oh no! Couldn't impose upon you, imposed upon you enough already with the trip to Matlock. "

"Imposed upon me? Never! It was your and Grace's home!!"

"Point would be, shouldn't have been Grace's home, should it?"

Edwin pursed his lips at his brother, Edwin thought of a way to stop the conversation heading the way it appeared to be heading.

Kitty smiled as she saw Spencer and Ash sitting in the corner, with very serious expressions on their faces. Her eye flitted off across the room towards the players of whist, she suppressed a giggle when she saw the dear's Colonel's face at being partnered with Anne, Darcy was not at all attending to the game and kept looking over at another table. Kitty's eye raised as she saw A gentleman she presumed to Sir Christian playing piquet with Andrew. Kitty's eyes then went off roving to find her sister Mary. She was sitting on a couch looking most discomforted, Kitty being the kindly soul she is, determined to help Mary out of what looked like gloomy mood.

Kitty swept across the room towards two gentlemen who had all the appearance of being at a stand off, but Kitty being Kitty did not see this at all.

"Papa Matlock!" cried Kitty clasping Edwin's arm, "You must come and meet my dear sister." Edwin who was thanking heaven for his little godsend, was more then happy to oblige Kitty in making himself personable to her sister.

Kitty, seeing to her sister's comfort had nothing to do but wonder where the hostess had gone. She didn't have to wonder for very long for Sophy practically leapt out from a doorway behind Kitty and bore her off to a quick game of piquet. It was only as Kitty sat down that she saw the look in Sir Christian's eye and the strangeness of the glances she had seen came to rest on her mind. She could understand The colonel and Anne, but why would Darcy be glaring at Andrew's table? Why would Mary look so glum and Sir Christian so..........so vicious? She also started to have the strong suspicion that something strange was occurring between Richard and Edwin, for Richard although currently engrossed in talking to Harriet, was watching Edwin over her shoulder and Edwin was doing all he could not to look back.

Kitty was rebuked by Sophy for not playing any attention to the game and her suspicions flew out of her mind.

Harry felt a tingle rush up his arm as he clasped his hand over Bonnie's just a fraction of a second too late.

"Snap!" she cried with a toss of her curls.

Harry didn't think he had ever seen her look so grown-up, it was both a thrill and a disappointment. It was a thrill because she looked so beautiful and radiant, but it was a disappointment because she had never looked so above his touch as she did now. Before went he first saw her running around in the worn out gowns, she was on the same level as he was and even with the addition of new gowns and a trip to Matlock, Harry had still conned himself into thinking he could possibly have a chance with her.

Harry was so engrossed in the light that seemed to shine out of Bonnie's hazel eyes that he missed two snaps in a row. He looked down rather flustered and when he glanced back up again she was laughing at him.

"Harry! You are not paying any attention!"

"No I'm not paying a jot of attention am I?" Harry tried to smile.

"Are you thinking what you shall get me for my birthday?" asked Bonnie shyly.

"Eh?" exclaimed Harry, for the thought of Bonnie's Birthday was far from his mind.

"I'm turning 15 in two weeks."

"Oh yes of course!" stammered Harry. 15 he thought, why did she have to mention such a thing, looking at her, he could imagine her quite his own age, not a little more then 4 years his junior and not out.

Harry swallowed and thought that he was an idiot for losing his head over such a child and while he was such a child himself.

Darcy acknowledged a win to Fitzwilliam and Anne, smiled at his wife, who was looking apologetically towards him. But Darcy knew it had been him who had been distracted. He noticed that Ash was shaking hands with the Duke. He made his way over.

"Ah Darcy" cried the Duke "You are just here to see your estimable cousin hand over a veritable fortune to me!"

Darcy looked at Ash in surprise, Ash was no gamester.

"My horse Thunder!" cried Ash tragically. "But never fear I shall win him back!"

Darcy frowned at Ash as the Duke went away, "I hope you aren't intending to play deep from now on Ash! I know you don't enjoy it!"

Ash laughed, "Ah but it is so enjoyable when one is trying to redeem an actual possession!"

Darcy gave his cousin an admonishing look.

"Darce really! I'm at least 3 years your senior don't look at me like that! What on earth has occurred to put your nose out of joint?"

"If you must know, I do not think hearing that you invited that person back to your house for a glass of wine was particularly pleasant. "

"That person? Oh you mean Sir Christian! Well Darcy what is the point in alienating him?"

"The point is very much this Ash, I don't particularly like the activities he participates in, they are the kind of activities which involves being towed out of, and Ash I'm not a towing service!"

Darcy watched as Ash poured himself a glass of wine, Ash then took a sip and commented on the worth of the Duke's cellar.

"Dash it Ash you know I don't like to be pushed into a Point-Non-Plus."

"Neither do I my dear boy, that is why I never go there!" Ash put a friendly arm around Darcy's shoulder and steered him out of the room. "Now let us forget all about Sir Christian and let us focus on my hair"

Continued In Next Section

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© 2000 Copyright held by the author.