Posted on Thursday, 7 September 2000

The incessant sound of sirens was no longer a distraction. He'd been there too long to notice anymore. Seemingly hours had passed as he waited, unknowing. At every approach of a swishing white coat he had raised a hopeful and, at the same time, fearful gaze but no-one had come for him. Each successive enquiry he had ventured resulted in the same answer; he must wait for the attending physician for information. Any other circumstance would have found him barging into an office or lab to demand immediate answers, but this situation was beyond his control, beyond his ability to deal with rationally.

"Dad?" Ben was shocked at the dazed look in his father's eyes as he raised them to stare vaguely in his direction. Ben sat down quickly in the vacant chair beside Will. "What happened? How is she? What's going on, Dad?"

"I don't know." The words forced their way through a tightened throat and past lips that quivered with emotion.

Ben placed an arm around his father's shoulders and lowered his head. "Brenda said something about a fall. Did she hit her head on something?"

"No." Will drew a deep breath and assumed a detached air. "No, she didn't fall. At least, that wasn't the problem. She just complained of a sudden headache and wanted to lay down for a while. Before she made it to the top of the stairs she'd fainted... collapsed. Thank God I was with her or she would have ended up at the bottom of the staircase." He paused to draw another steadying breath. "She didn't wake up, though, not even in the ambulance all the way here. I kept talking to her, calling her. I begged her to wake up, but nothing!" Will looked into his son's eyes, his own bright with moisture. "They took her away, into there." He swept an arm toward the big set of double doors opposite their seats. "Wouldn't let me go with her. I've seen no-one! They won't tell me a thing! Nobody has -!"

"Dad," Ben interjected in an effort to calm him. "I'll see what I can find out."

"They won't tell you anything!"

Ben crossed to the nurses' station and commanded the attention of the lone attendant. "My mother was brought in a while ago, Elizabeth Darcy. I want to know the names of the doctors attending her and I want to know what is going on. Now." He quelled the rote reply on the lips of the nurse before the first word was uttered. "Now!"

"Yes sir," she said, backing away a pace and then hurrying through the doors that led to the examining rooms. In a few minutes she had returned and beckoned to Ben where he had rejoined his father. Ben came forward quickly.

"You and your father may come through."

Will had stood when the nurse had called to Ben. Now he crossed the remaining distance in three strides and followed on the nurse's heels as she led the way along the bright white corridor. Bennet was close behind, glancing side to side as they passed open doorways on either side. The stinging scent of disinfectant, the clatter and ching of medical implements emanating from unknown locations set his nerves on edge.

Will came to an abrupt halt, the nurse holding a curtain aside for him to enter one of the rooms. Cautiously, he moved forward. The sight that greeted him offered nothing in the way of reassurance. Several people, evidently doctors, were in consultation on one side of the room. However, Will's eyes were instantly drawn to the bed where the beloved figure of his wife lay, still and silent, only the gentle rise and fall of her chest indicating life.

Swallowing a growing lump in his throat, Will approached the bed and stood beside it, gazing down into Elizabeth's face. Relaxed as in sleep, he could almost believe there was nothing amiss, except for the steady hum of equipment that surrounded her.

Ben caught the attention of the doctors and they joined him, speaking in quiet voices.

"What's wrong with her?" Ben bluntly asked.

"Would you prefer to discuss this in one of the private rooms?" asked the doctor who had introduced himself as DiLeone.

"No, I wouldn't. I think my father has waited long enough. Dad?" Ben frowned as Will didn't appear to hear him. "Dad?" he called a little louder.

"Mr. Darcy?" One of the other doctors had moved to Will's side and touched his elbow. Will tore his gaze away from his wife's form and looked enquiringly at the assembled medical experts.

"I'm sorry," began DiLeone. "The news is not good. Your wife has developed a tumour behind her left eye. It was an extremely rapid growing tumour, perhaps developing over merely weeks,
but it has already grown too large."

"What do you mean, too large?" Ben stared at him in shock, his mind refusing to accept what was likely to come next.

"It has already put too much pressure on the brain. At the rate it is growing, only a matter of hours remain before..." DiLeone paused. "Several areas of the brain have been affected and more are being forced to shut down due to lack of blood supply and the increased pressure. There is nothing we can do."

"Nothing?" Ben's voice was hoarse. His gaze instinctively travelled to where his mother lay, willing her to wake up and refute this horrifying prognosis. "No." The word was faint.

"Oh, Liz," Will whispered, his eyelids came together tightly, sealing in the tears. "Liz."

Slowly, the doctors began to file out of the room, leaving only DiLeone to offer further information. "If there is anyone else you need to call, please feel free to use the telephone in the room at the end of the hall. You will be undisturbed in this room until.... unless you call."

Ben watched his father's struggle reflected in his face as he addressed his comment to the doctor. "How... how long did you say?"

"An hour or two, not likely any more than that. These things are unpredictable. It all depends on how long her body fights to keep going." DiLeone's face was grave and sympathetic. After a moment he left the two Darcy men alone with her.

Will pulled a chair up to Elizabeth's side and sat down next to her. Taking her hand, he stroked the back of it as he spoke. "Oh my dear Liz, we never thought it would come down to this, did we? I was supposed to go first, or, ideally, we'd go together." He choked on a weak laugh. "Why like this, though? No good-byes... no chance to say... to say....." Lips formed the words but no sound emerged. Will bowed his head against his wife's hand and let out a stifled sob.

Ben stood immobile, tears streamed down his face, unheeded. Never had he seen his father so vulnerable. It unnerved him, for he was suddenly faced with the reality that his world was about to come apart, his father would no longer be the strength to lean on, but would need to borrow the strength from the rest of the family. Worst of all, his mother.... his own source of love and support for most of his life was about to taken away, forever. His mind was spinning, unwilling to accept what he'd heard, what he could see happening in front of him.

"Ben." Will's voice was harsh but got his son's attention. "Would you call your sisters and Rich, tell them what's happened?"

"Sure, Dad."

"I don't want to leave her......" Will turned his attention back to Elizabeth, his fingers continuing to stroke her hand.

"Of course you don't. I'll be back as soon as I can." Ben closed the door softly when he left the room.

Will stood and leaned over the bed, one hand smoothing back the disarray of hair from Elizabeth's face. One finger traced along her cheek, followed the edge of her jaw and rested against her lower lip.

"Elizabeth." He practically breathed the name. "You'll take my heart with you, you know. It was always yours, from the moment I saw you. I thought my life was desolate during those years we were apart but I am afraid to even think what awaits me when I leave here today. To know that you will be gone forever, no smiles, no scolds....." He smiled at a particularly fond memory of his wife giving him a good raking over the coals. The smile faded almost immediately, however. "I know I shouldn't say this, you'd give me a right lecture on it, but even with our children and grandchildren to surround me, life will be empty without you."

Will glanced at the monitoring equipment surrounding the bed and the still form of his beloved Liz. Without a second thought he eased himself onto the surface next to her and raised her light form to lay against his chest.

"Just like home, right?" Tears filled his eyes as he fought to deny the futility of this comfort. One arm held her securely against him, her body limp and unresponsive. Gently, he kissed the top of her head, his free hand taking her slackened one and intertwining their fingers. When he spoke, it was in the merest whisper, a voice filled with pain and hopelessness.

"Thank you, dearest Elizabeth, for all that you have given me; our children, warm memories and years of exquisite happiness with the most beautiful woman I could ever wish to know." Will's voice broke on his final words. "I only wish I could say these things to you again, that you could hear them one more time."

Not a movement did he detect from her and Will could feel anger welling up inside himself.

Why? Oh God, why take her from me, from her children? Oh, they could get along quite well without me, but their mother is indispensable!

His face lowered to rest against Elizabeth's hair, eyes closed and lips forming a small pout. He could feel the rise of her chest as she breathed, the rhythm beginning to become erratic. His own breathing was starting to labour as emotions fought for an outlet.

Don't leave me, Liz!

His arms pulled her tighter to him, tears threatening to spill over despite his best efforts.

Please!

The woman in his arms gave a shuddering sigh and then silence reigned.

I love you.........

The End.