Posted on Friday, 2 March 2001, at 10 : 43 p.m.

There were a million reasons why leaving wasn't the solution to her problems. She stood alone in the airport terminal, staring intently at the arrivals and departure screen but not really seeing anything at all. The words and numbers flashed past, their meanings eluding her in her state of mind. She blinked, trying to focus her teary eyes at the monitor, but failed to comprehend anything useful. Determined to make it through the rest of the day without another fit of crying, Elizabeth walked slowly towards her flight gate and set her bag down in one of the waiting chairs. She had left in such a hurry, she could only grab a small duffel bag and stuff it with whatever clothes she could find before he came home to find her.

Charlotte had told her whenever she was in need of last minute airline tickets to call her. Elizabeth had never before been so thankful she had a travel agent as a friend. She had rang her an hour before, breathless and frantic, pleading for the first tickets out of San Francisco to anywhere; she didn't care where she was going, only that it was far away from him. And now she was on her way to Phoenix, Arizona, without an idea as to what she was going to do when she got there.

Leaving was a stupid thing to do, she knew. But at the moment, it was the only thing she could think of doing. The pain was fresh and biting, twisting her emotions until they bled into a chaotic sense of overwhelming consciousness of everything around her. How long had she let him go on as if everything were the same?

You cannot quit me so quickly
Is no hope in you for me
No corner you could squeeze me
But I got all the time for you, love
The space between
The tears we cry
Is the laughter keeps us coming back for more
The space between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain...

Jane, bless her loving heart, had been the victim of his outrageous and underhanded machinations. Where he had ever gotten the notion that Jane was vindictive, cruel, and out for money was beyond her. Elizabeth cringed as the memories of their heated confrontation surged up in her mind. It hadn't been the first time they had argued these past months; the repeated bickering over every little thing played over in her mind. No, it was inevitable, she concluded. It just wasn't meant to be.

She should have known better. He was much too handsome for his own good, too complacent with always getting his way, too ambitious... Those aspects of his character she should have gotten used to in time, but in those moments his sweet smile turned into a self-satisfied smirk, Elizabeth couldn't remember the reasons why she loved him the way she did.

But will I hold you again?
These fickle, fuddled words confuse me
Like 'Will it rain today?'
Waste the hours with talking, talking
These twisted games we play...

But she did love him. No matter how angry he made her, she still loved him. Deep in her heart, she knew that she always would. In those rare and brilliant moments before they had become a couple and moved in together, he smiled and laughed freely, forever telling her that he loved her, leaving her sentimental little tokens of his adoration. A rose tucked into the windshield wipers of her car. A saucy note in the top drawer of her desk at work. A promise ring engraved with her name and his. Back then, he was so unlike what he was gradually becoming. He was happy, carefree, childlike with that boyish smile of his.

We're strange allies
With warring hearts
What wild-eyed beast you be
The space between
The wicked lies we tell
And hope to keep us safe from the pain

Will I hold you again?
Will I hold...

But now, the pressure of his father's business weighed down on him like an insurmountable boulder placed deftly between his shoulders, slowly crushing the life out of him. That's when he had turned cynical, judgmental... taking out his anger on others, disrupting their perfect lives with his bitter tongue. She couldn't stand watching him self-destruct, unheeding to her pleas to get help.

Look at us spinning out in
The madness of a roller coaster
You know you went off like a devil
In a church in the middle of a crowded room
All we can do, my love
Is hope we don't take this ship down...

"Beth?" A haunting, rich voice called to her.

She turned her watery green eyes to his and gasped in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"I thought that was obvious." He sat down beside her. "I had to stop you before you left."

"I'm still going." She said, quietly.

The remnants of tears were evident in his eyes. Had he been crying? His voice was whisper soft. "For how long?"

"I don't know."

The space between
Where you're smiling high
Is where you'll find me if I get tickled
The space between
The bullets in our firefight
Is where I'll be hiding, waiting for you...

William ruffled his hair, uncomfortable in her sudden silence. She had always had something to say, some quick little quip full of wit and humor. But gradually, that lightheartedness he had always adored in her had quietly faded away. It's my fault, he thought. I killed that part of her.

"I'm so sorry for everything." He apologized.

She looked at him, her piercing eyes holding his gaze until the truthful emotion in them made him uncomfortable once again. He had caused that pain; there was no one to blame but himself. The business with Jane and Charles was a huge mistake on his part. He should have never interfered, he should have listened when Elizabeth had told him to leave things be, that it wasn't any of his business.

She considered his words, tears slowly dripping down her cheeks. "Are you?"

The rain that falls
Splash in your heart
Ran like sadness down the window into
The space between
Our wicked lies
Is where we hope to keep safe from pain...

"Yes, I am."

How could he put into words how regretful he was for every hurt he had unwittingly caused her? The past few months he had let the business become his life. Things were still precarious, and he had let that anger at the uncertainty overcome everything. He had killed her happiness as surely as he had killed himself. He hadn't turned to alcohol yet, but William was sure that it probably wouldn't be long before he did. It was as if he had been watching himself from afar, only able to see himself act in a maddening manner, hear himself arguing with his sweet Elizabeth for the sake of arguing, unable to stop himself from slowly spiraling into misanthropy. She was right: the job was destroying him.

Take my hand
'Cause we're walking out of here
Oh, right out of here...

"I resigned today." He stated calmly. It was the first step towards righting the wrongs.

She was shocked. "What? Why?"

"I finally realized what it was doing to us... The money wasn't worth it."

"What was it doing to us?"

He wanted to trace her lovely face with his fingertips. How he had loathed himself for being the uncaring beast he had turned into. She had the most beautiful eyes he had ever seen, a rich emerald green with hints of gold sparkles in their enchanting depths. Her hair was a dark chocolate brown, falling in unmanageable waves around her shoulders. He had loved running his fingers through the silky curls when he held her in his arms. But it had been a long while since they were on good enough terms to even hug.

"Tearing us apart."

Love is all we need here
The space between
What's wrong and right
Is where you'll find me hiding, waiting for you...

Elizabeth sighed. It seemed like too much to bear, too much to confront just yet, but he was there. He had found her. She hadn't thought it was possible, she hadn't believed he would have even bothered after all she had shouted at him in anger.

"I never wanted this to happen." He said, wanting so badly to hold her hand. "I should have listened to you. You were always right."

"I only cared about your well-being. I never wanted to tear you away from your dream. I never meant to stand in your way, to question your decisions, to stop you from doing what you wanted..."

He was a fool, and he knew it. "I know."

"I saw what it was doing to you and I couldn't watch. I couldn't stop it either. You wouldn't listen to me..."

"I know. I was stupid. I should have said no when he asked me the first time. I was so eager to please him, to find some stability for us, to buy you all the things you wanted. It was never my dream; it was always his."

"All I wanted was you." Elizabeth said softly. "I wanted your happiness, and this wasn't making you happy."

"I know." He said for the third time. Silence ensued. There were a few people in the terminal now. A faint voice crackled over the loudspeaker announcing a delay in another flight. William stared at his hands as if his life depended on it. "Will you reconsider?"

"Reconsider what?"

"Leaving." His voice took on a desperate quality. "Please Beth, don't go."

"I don't know..." She faltered. "For the longest time, I felt like I didn't know you anymore."

"But you do know me." William looked up into her beautiful face. "You know me, Beth."

He was in such truthful earnest that she wished she wished she could forgive him of every sin that second. But her mind drifted from her personal woes to another pressing matter. "And Jane..."

"I apologized to both of them. I should have never interfered the way I did. Jane's forgiven me already. Charles will take some convincing, but things will be alright in the end."

She smiled softly. "You thought of everything, didn't you?"

His heart swelled at the sight of her lips turned up ever so slightly. He then knew things would be alright for them, too. "I thought of you." He took her hand, raised it to his lips and placed a small kiss on the back of her hand. "Can you ever forgive me for acting like such a monster?"

"I already have, William." Elizabeth wiped away the residue tears and sniffled.

He brought his head closer until they were forehead to forehead, his eyes staring into hers. "I love you, Beth. I've loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you."

She shifted her body closer and wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him so she could rest her cheek on his. "I know."

"'I know'?" He repeated. She could feel him smiling against her ear. "That's all you have to say to me?"

She laughed softly and pulled back so she could see the face of the man she had given her heart to a million times before. She thanked whomever was looking out for her, for William still cherished her heart as he had cherished it the first time he had whispered those three amazing words years ago.

"I love you."

They kissed. And everything was perfect.

The space between
Your heart and mine
Is the space we'll fill with time
The space between...*

* "The Space Between" by Dave Matthews Band