Beginning, Previous Section, Section III
Jump to new as of April 18, 2010
Posted on Thursday, 27 March 2008
Just as Anna was about to leave for her first day back at work, Wilhelm showed up at the flat and insisted on driving her to the base. She did not know whether to be relieved that she did not have to walk, or annoyed that he had not asked her if he might but took it upon himself to assume he had the right. Still, a ride was a ride, and her father said nothing about it except to remind Anna to thank her cousin for his continued generosity towards them all.
“I do not like the idea of you working as a common barmaid,” Wilhelm said as they drove away from the flat.
“Someone has to put food on the table,” she tartly replied, even as she recalled that he had done the same. Still, she did not consider caviar real food, and he had only begun to help them, while she had been doing so all along. She did not apologize for her words. In fact, she was done apologizing for anything.
They were silent until they reached the base, and Wilhelm asked what time she would be coming home.
“I do not know,” she said, reluctant to accept her cousin’s charity blindly. There had to be a catch of some sort, and she didn’t want to end up beholden to him until she found out what it was.
“I’ll be here,” was all he said.
Anna resolved to leave work before he showed up.
At least her return to the club was welcome, if the warm hug from Martha and the cheers and greetings from the officers were any indication. It was sad, she thought, that these Americans were happier to see her than her own family had been.
She gave Martha a watered-down version of her visit to Mannheim and Lake Constance, glossing over Luise Waldung’s accident and barely mentioning Fritz at all, but she did not think the older woman was fooled. There was a certain meditative look in her eyes that Anna could not quite fathom.
“You need to get out more, now that you are home,” was all she said though. “I am having a small party on Sunday – it’s Hermann’s birthday - and I know you’re not working, because I made out the schedule myself. Everyone is to bring something,” she added.
Anna nodded. That was not unusual.
“I have some interesting neighbors,” Martha continued with a wink. “And some of them are men.”
Anna smiled, because it was expected of her to be amused by such a revelation, but her thoughts went immediately to Fritz. No doubt he was in Constance, by Luise’s side and she was going to have to admit that the past could never be recovered. Thinking of him was futile, but getting over him was easier said than done, so she tied on her apron and went out to see if any of the off-duty officers needed a sandwich or a beer.
It was a quiet shift; it was too early in the day for anyone to be drunk and cause trouble, and Anna was glad that she was spared dealing with the likes of Captain Johnson on her first day back at work.
Before going home, she drank a cup of coffee in the kitchen with Martha and Hermann.
Hermann greeted her with a shy smile, and went back to the large sink to wash the dishes, while Martha and Anna sat down at the kitchen table.
“He’s glad you are coming to his party,” Martha remarked. “He wanted to invite you, but was too shy to do so himself.”
“I’m looking forward to it,” Anna said and added, in a lower tone, “Any idea what he wants for his birthday?” It would not do to show up at Hermann’s birthday party and not have some kind of present for him.
“He’s got his nose in a book whenever he can,” Martha replied. “Though I think he’s got enough to do without reading all the time.”
”He could do worse,” Anna pointed out. “I’ll see what I can do. Has he got many books?”
“No; we can’t afford them. He sometimes borrows books, but he doesn’t get to read very often, I see to that. There’s always some work for him to do.”
It must be hard to be obliged to be the man in the house at only sixteen, Anna thought, and resolved to find a book for Hermann – at least once he should get what he wanted instead of what he needed.
“I’ll bring some Linzertorte too, if I can get my hands on the ingredients,” she promised. “He likes that, doesn’t he?”
“He’d sell his own mother for it,” Martha said with a grin. “In the safe knowledge that whoever buys me would pay him the double amount for him to take me back. – But any cake will do, really. You needn’t put yourself to so much trouble.”
Anna was not quite as quick as her cousin, and she found Wilhelm waiting for her at the main gate when she came off shift.
“Were you here the entire time?” she wondered.
“No,” he said, urging her to get in the car.
She thought he appeared nervous, but it could just be the proximity of so many American soldiers. Most people steered clear of them, just in case they were suddenly accused of having done wrong. It was even worse for people in places controlled by the Russians, and she thanked Providence she was in the American sector. But no matter how much her fellow Germans tried to avoid the soldiers, Anna found them mostly friendly and compassionate. And if she was surprised by Wilhelm’s lack of curiosity concerning her job and the Americans, she chalked it up to him being as much of a snob as the rest of her relatives.
When she was dropped off at the flat, the boys had already been fed by Freya, thankfully, and were dressed for bed. Anna was relieved that their family friend had found something constructive to do, as well as not complain about it, and she resolved to give Freya some sort of recompense for taking care of the boys.
So, once she had put the boys to bed and read them a bedtime story – from a book of Grimm’s Fairy Tales that Frau Müller had lent them – she asked Freya whether she’d like to go for a walk with her.
While Freya went to put on her coat and hat, Anna’s father began to compliment her on her improved looks.
“You’re not as thin as you used to be,” he remarked, “And your complexion has improved too. What has brought this about?”
“Nothing, Father,” Anna assured him.
“There must be something,” he insisted.
“Maybe it’s just my new hairdo,” Anna suggested. “Luise and Henriette said it made me look younger.”
“Might be. Yes, that might very well be,” her father agreed, and let the matter drop. Anna was glad he did. For once she had found favor in his eyes, but only because she had become better-looking than she had been. There had never been any word of approval from him for the things she had done for her family, let alone a word of thanks, so his compliments, she felt, were not worth much.
“Maybe you should ask Frau Lehm what facial cream she uses,” her father continued. “It has done wonders for her freckles, don’t you think?”
“I didn’t know I had freckles, Father,” Anna said calmly.
“Well no, you don’t. But it might do your complexion good.”
On their walk, Freya told Anna what had happened during her absence. She, too, felt that there was something between Walther von Eltow and Frau Lehm, and her indignation was great, not so much on her own behalf but on Elsa and Anna’s. Not that Elsa cared very much, Freya said. In fact, she was blind to the danger arising from the liaison between her father and her friend.
“Honestly,” she concluded her report, “sometimes it’s all I can do to keep a civil tongue in my head. They think we’re fools, all of us!”
Anna assured Freya that she need not be offended on her behalf, for she had never considered herself the mistress of her father’s house and therefore had nothing to lose. Elsa, however, might see things differently.
“Maybe it’s a good thing Cousin Wilhelm is showing her such marked attention,” Anna said lightly. “If Elsa were to marry him, my father would be free to do whatever he likes.”
“Elsa?” Freya asked, raising her eyebrows. “You think he is showing marked attentions to Elsa? Very well, you believe that if it gives you comfort.” This was accompanied by a smug smile, and Anna could imagine very well what must be on her friend’s mind. She therefore pointed out that, as long as she did not know enough about his character, or why her cousin had suddenly shown interest in their situation, she did not consider him an eligible suitor for herself.
“You must own that this sudden solicitude on his part is highly suspicious,” she said.
Freya admitted no such thing. The War, she said, had made it almost impossible for anyone to find their relatives, especially those who, like them, had lived in East Prussia before. No one was where they had been before; it must have been quite a task to find out where they had ended up.
“For all we know, he may have been looking for you for ages.”
Anna did not quite agree, sensible though this suggestion was, but she decided it would not be worth the trouble to argue with Freya. Freya believed what she liked to believe; she preferred to stick to her pre-conceived notions rather than wait for evidence to support or overthrow them. She had disliked Fritz because he had been “the son of an insignificant official”, not of Anna’s own order, and besides his political views had been “likely to put Anna as well as her entire family into danger”. Not that Freya had been that well-acquainted with Fritz’s political ideas; he had merely said in Freya’s presence that the war was probably going to last longer than they had thought at first and that he sincerely hoped the Government knew what they were doing. This had been too much criticism in Freya’s eyes – and Anna could not deny that people had gone to jail for less.
But this was in the past, thank God, and while Anna would not follow Freya’s advice in a similar situation now she could not blame herself for having accepted it then. There had been good sense in everything Freya had said, and Anna had trusted her to make the right decision for her. The only blame she could place on her godmother was that she had advised her when she ought to have kept silent; but she had acted out of the best intentions and therefore deserved no resentment from Anna.
The next morning, Elsa impatiently demanded when Anna was planning to do the laundry.
“I haven’t a decent thing to wear,” she complained.
“In that case you had better go and wash your clothes yourself,” Anna replied sweetly. “I won’t be at leisure to do anything about it until Saturday, what with work and the boys…”
“I do the washing?” Elsa asked, almost struck dumb as the enormity of Anna’s request dawned on her. “Do you have any idea what detergent can do to people’s hands?”
Instead of favoring her sister with a reply, Anna merely held out her hands to show how rough and red they were. “Any further questions?” she asked. “If you don’t want to wash your own clothes you will have to wait until I have the time to do so. Or pay someone else to do it – but not with my money. And don’t think you can take money from my savings pot, because I know very well how much is supposed to be in there, and if I find single penny missing I’ll have you work it off.”
Having watched the effect of this threat with some satisfaction, she walked off, half an hour earlier than necessary, to avoid Cousin Wilhelm as well as to have a look in a used-book shop on the way to find a birthday present for Hermann. He was a good, hard-working boy and deserved a decent present, Anna thought, and to be honest she preferred to spend her hard-earned money on him to having Elsa spend it on movie magazines or clothes she was never going to wear.
She was not certain what kind of book she should buy, once she had arrived at the shop – in fact, at first glance she did not notice many books that might be suitable for a boy turning seventeen. She therefore turned to the shopkeeper, an elderly man, and asked him for his opinion.
The man took her to a collection of Karl May* books, remarking that he had yet to see the boy who did not take pleasure in the – sometimes highly unlikely – adventures of May’s characters. Anna herself had never developed a taste for May’s novels; but then she had been a girl, and girls were not exactly fond of reading about life-threatening adventures in exotic settings. She did remember though that Fritz had once confessed to her that May’s books had awakened his wish to see as much of the world as he could, that he had enjoyed them very much, and knowing Fritz the way she did she knew that was a compliment of no mean order. She therefore chose one of May’s lesser known volumes – “Through the Wilds of Kurdistan” – assuming that Hermann was already acquainted with the author’s more famous works – and walked off towards the base, smiling at herself for letting Fritz’ opinion of a writer influence her in a matter that had nothing to do with him. There was no getting away from Fritz, it seemed.
*Karl May: late 19th century German author, famous for his travel-descriptions and adventure novels. Most of his novels are set in the Old American West (although May never went there in his life), or in the Near East and Northern Africa.
Posted on Tuesday, 1 April 2008
On her third and fourth workday, Anna was on the late shift again. She had spent the morning and early afternoon with her nephews, watching them as they played in the courtyard with Frau Müller’s children, and cooking lunch for them as well as the rest of the family. Frau Müller also obliged her with a recipe for fake Linzertorte – Anna knew she would not be able to come up with the real thing, but it would be better than nothing – which mainly consisted of ingredients she knew she could get her hands on. The only problem might be the jam, but if Cousin Wilhelm brought some more paté she might be able to swap one tin for a glass of jam instead. She did not doubt her cousin would bring her jam if she mentioned the matter to him, but again she felt it would be more prudent not to allow him to put her under an obligation.
The moment she entered the bar, she realised that tonight would be a tough shift. Rosemarie, the girl who had worked the shift before her, warned her that the rowdy bunch of officers in one corner of the room had already had enough, and were likely to make trouble before the night was over. Anna would have been able to tell that even without Rosemarie’s warning – one of the drunken men was Captain Johnson, and she had already become acquainted with his manners towards barmaids. Especially when he’d had one drink too many.
It was with mixed feelings, therefore, that she answered their summons and walked up to their table, hoping that her anxiety did not show in her face or her manners. Men like Johnson were like dogs – they could sense fear, and became more aggressive when confronted with it.
Johnson looked up at her with narrowed eyes. “It’s you, is it?” he said in slurred accents. “Thought you were gone for good.”
“Not just yet, Captain,” Anna said. Some of Johnson’s friends roared with laughter, as if they’d just heard a brilliant joke. “What can I bring you?” she asked, ignoring their lewd remarks.
“What’d you say to coming outside with me?” Johnson suggested, with a wink at his friends that caused another outburst of laughter.
“I’d say no,” Anna said firmly. “I’ve got a job to do.”
“Hell, she’s right,” one of Johnson’s friends said. “You can have her once she’s brought me my beer.”
Anna wrote his order onto her notepad, hoping she looked businesslike enough. “Anything else?”
The soldiers ordered a round of drinks, and Anna went off to the bar to get their order. She was aware of some sniggering behind her back, but made an effort to shut it out of her mind. The sooner she got their order to their table, the sooner she could ignore them again. She would not let them provoke her – she could not afford to lose her job.
However, when she placed the beer glasses on the table, she became aware that someone – probably Johnson – was groping at her behind. She slammed the tray onto the table and turned to face him.
“I want you to stop this at once,” she said.
“Stop what? I didn’t do anything,” Johnson defended himself, but the broad grin on his face told her otherwise.
“You keep your hands off me, or I’ll give you something to remember me by,” Anna threatened. By that time she was so furious she didn’t care if she lost her job. She’d rather go and clean the public toilets than allow anyone to treat her like this.
Johnson rose. “Oh yeah?” he asked, grabbing her shoulder and pushing her against the wall behind her. He came up close to her, pressing his body against hers. “Now what’re you going to do?” His stale breath almost made her throw up. She brought up her knee hard against his groin and, when his knees sagged, she gave him a push.
“Don’t say I didn’t warn you,” she said. “And now I want you and your friends to pay your bill and leave.”
“Bitch!” Johnson gasped. “I’ll get you fired for that, just wait and see!”
“I don’t think you will,” someone sitting at the bar said. Anna turned to look at the speaker; it was Lt. Col. Ogilvy. He must have arrived at some point of during her encounter with Captain Johnson, for he had not been there before. “You are now going to leave, Johnson, and get some sack time. I expect you in my office tomorrow morning at 0800. And this goes for you as well as your screw-off comrades here – should any of you ever be rude to a female employee on this base, I’ll have you thrown in the stockade. Do you understand? – Miss Anna, I hope you aren’t hurt?”
Anna shook her head. “I’m fine, thank you,” she said. “No harm done.”
“I depend on you to inform me if there should be any further annoyance,” Ogilvy said.
Anna nodded, still dumbstruck at her own courage in standing up to Johnson and his gang. She would never have dared to do that before her visit to Mannheim. But it felt good.
Anna’s father was none too happy to hear where Anna was going to spend her Sunday afternoon; especially when he realized that the cake she was baking was not meant for her family to eat.
“And who is this Martha Jaennicke?” her father demanded as she was making some whipped cream to go with the cake – the fake version, naturally; she had not had the real thing for years.
“She works with me,” Anna said curtly. “Martha has always been very kind to me, and has invited me to a party at her home.”
“Things have come to a pretty pass if Anna von Eltow of Gut Kaehlau starts hobnobbing with kitchen servants.”
“Thank you, Father,” Anna said dryly. “You forget that I am no longer Anna von Eltow of Gut Kaehlau – Gut Kaehlau is gone, and when all’s said and done I’m nothing but a barmaid. So I’d say I needn’t consider myself above my company.”
She took the plate with the cake and the bowl with the cream, put them into a basket and covered it with a clean tea towel. She then went into the bathroom to wash and get dressed, and then went outside to say goodbye to her nephews and give them the small cake she had set aside for them.
Martha lived in a house in the old city centre of Heidelberg; in a tiny two-bedroom flat on the ground floor. Apart from her job at the base she also acted as a caretaker and concierge for the building, thereby earning a considerable reduction of her rent. Hermann answered the door, and led her into the courtyard where Martha had set up some tables for her guests to sit. Anna’s cake was placed carefully on an ironing-board that doubled as buffet table, with the bowl of cream next to it, and Hermann blushed furiously when Anna offered him her congratulations and gave him his present. He stuttered his thanks, and cast a shy glance at his mother who told him to put the parcel on the table along with his other presents, which would not be unwrapped until all the guests had arrived.
Martha had invited all her neighbours – everyone living in the same building – and some of her co-workers at the base. Next to Anna there was a Herr Lang, who (Martha had whispered to her) was sharing a tiny attic with his parents, and was unmarried. Herr Lang was in his late twenties or early thirties, and while he appeared quite clever and was not ill-looking Anna was not really impressed with his manners. He talked too much of himself, and gave her too little opportunity to contribute to their conversation – maybe he was the kind of man who thought women had nothing to say for themselves.
Another young man was a policeman, who had just dropped in for half an hour before he had to go back on duty. He was amiable enough, but from his conversation Anna could discover that he was engaged to be married, and assumed that Martha’s efforts at matchmaking would be useless in that direction.
“Now there’s almost everyone here,” Martha announced. “Except for Frau Schmidt that is. – Frau Schmidt has a room with the Langs, you must know, Anna, but she keeps herself to herself. I’m not even sure she will come, but I invited her nevertheless. I feel she ought to get out a bit more, just like yourself.”
Frau Schmidt did not appear, though, until Herr Werner, the policeman, had left. Some ten minutes after his departure, the door to the building opened slowly, and a small and very thin woman came outside, wearing a wavering smile on her face as if she were uncertain of the welcome she would receive. There was something about her that Anna found familiar – and then the truth struck her. Frau Schmidt was Charlotte Schmidt, nee Grünbaum, and had been one of her closest friends in boarding school. Lotte had been several years older than Anna, and had looked after her when her homesickness had almost overwhelmed her. Being Jewish, Lotte had had to leave school, though, and the news of her marriage to a successful businessman from Berlin – a certain Achim Schmidt – had been the last Anna had heard of her. She had often wondered what had become of her friend and her friend’s husband; especially after the war when the gruesome truth about the concentration camps had come to light. Anna had hoped that the Schmidts had somehow managed to get out of the country in time and escaped the horror – but as it appeared this was not so.
She got up, and went towards the woman who looked so frail, and much older than she ought to have looked.
“Frau Schmidt?” she asked shyly. “Lotte Schmidt?”
Frau Schmidt stopped short, and gave Anna a long look, as if trying to find out who that stranger was.
“It’s me, Anna,” Anna prompted. “Anna von Eltow. Don’t you remember me?”
“Lord, yes,” Frau Schmidt cried, suddenly smiling. It was only a shadow of Lotte’s former, charming smile – some of her teeth were missing, no doubt due to years of malnutrition. The sight was enough to bring tears into Anna’s eyes. What had they done to the beautiful, lively girl that Lotte Grünbaum had been?
“There now,” Frau Schmidt said and put an arm around Anna’s shoulder. “There’s no reason for you to cry, you know? We’re here to celebrate Hermann’s birthday today, and I don’t think he’d want us to spoil his party.”
She handed Anna a handkerchief, and led her back to the table.
“I don’t think Anna expected to meet me here,” she explained to the assembled company. “I think she believed me to be dead. We last met in Danzig*, you see.”
This appeared to be explanation enough for everyone present – one read about unexpected family reunions among East Prussians almost every day; so this was not at all an unusual occasion. However it seemed as if only Anna knew what Frau Schmidt must have gone through ever since their last meeting.
* Danzig: German name of Gdansk, Poland.
Posted on Wednesday, 30 April 2008
Fritz felt guilty, a familiar emotion with him lately, and he did not like it at all. One, he was spending more time with Luise’s family than he did with Luise. When he did see her, it was always with someone else present. Two, every time he had a moment to stop and think, his mind turned to Anna, at the mercy of her family and at the mercy of the soldiers in the club. In his opinion, American officers were not necessarily gentlemen, especially after his little chat with Lt Morrow, which had been highly enlightening.
Three, he was neglecting his own family. This third point he voiced aloud at breakfast one morning. He was staying with the Hartwigs, and he broached the subject with his friends.
“Your brother surely knows you have been busy,” Frau Hartwig said sympathetically when he was mentioned.
“Yes, Sophie would have told him everything that has happened. She is good at keeping in touch with us both.” Even she had suggested, however, that he visit Eduard and his new wife as soon as possible, and he did not want his sister to be cross with him. She was not supportive of the way he was putting himself out for the Waldungs, but he felt guilty about not helping them out any more than he already had.
“We will be happy to aid the Waldungs in your absence,” Hartwig offered.
“Johannes will make some little wooden animals for Fräulein Luise’s amusement,” Bentinck said in his solemn voice, and Fritz had to suppress a smile. As if those were likely to amuse her, he thought. “I will go down and read to her. I did so yesterday and she seemed to like it.” Bentinck continued.
“Don’t you worry about Fräulein Luise, Fritz,” Frau Hartwig soothed. “She will not want for attention while you are gone.”
And Fritz felt guilty all over again, considering he spent very little at Luise’ side. But he agreed that his friends could very well take his place, and went ahead with his plans to visit Eduard in Travemünde.
“You what?” Eduard exclaimed once Fritz arrived at his house and confessed all. Really, it had not taken much. All his brother had to do was ask how he had been. One little question and Fritz had broken like a dam.
“I am not particularly proud of any of it,” he admitted. “Especially my treatment of Fräulein von Eltow.”
“You mean your treatment of Fräulein Waldung,” Eduard said. “To lead a young lady on like that…”
“But what of Anna?” Fritz cried. “To have to sit by and watch while I made an utter fool of myself with Luise! I must have hurt her, and yet she took it stoically,” he marveled.
“Yes, yes, your Anna is an exceptional angel,” Eduard said impatiently. “It is Fräulein Waldung you need to worry about, however. You say she is recovering slowly, and yet you’re here and not by her side? For shame!”
“She has friends and family at her side, and I thought…”
“You thought this would be a good time to distance yourself from her. It’s a proud day for the Wingendorffs, I tell you.”
“But Sophie…”
“Sophie! She has an opinion on everything, but it is not always the moral one!” Eduard protested. “About the only smart decision she has made was to hide out in Sweden during the latter part of the war.”
“At least Reinhard was with her. She wouldn’t have gone without him, as you know.”
“If it were not for Reinhard’s involvement in that plot to kill Hitler, she would not have had to be there.” Eduard’s features suddenly softened. “Though I cannot blame him. Even I sometimes thought it would be a fortunate thing if that man was killed, and I’m not given to violence.”
“Talk about wise opinions,” Fritz agreed. The two brothers were seated in front of a wood-burning stove in Eduard’s small flat, and they were sharing a bottle of schnapps. They raised their glasses to each other, downed their drinks and poured some more, the air between them lightening.
“To the people who risked their lives to save others.” Fritz raised his glass and Eduard followed suit. “Including you.”
“You would have, too,” Eduard said after taking a drink.
“No, I had to be off fighting for a madman,” Fritz bitterly replied.
“At least you spent some time in that camp and didn’t have to feel guilty,” Eduard reminded him.
“I’m nothing but a bundle of guilt. Why didn’t I work harder to persuade Anna to choose me all those years ago?”
“There was a war on,” his brother reminded him.
“She could have lived with Sophie while Reinhard and I were at sea.”
“And gone to Sweden with them?” Eduard countered. “I recall that journey was not without danger, especially with a price on Reinhard’s head.”
“She was run out of her home as it was, Eduard,” he reminded his brother. “At least with Sophie and Reinhard, she would have been taken care of. As it was, she had to take over leading her family to safety and providing for them; the rest of them are basically useless.”
Eduard sadly shook his head. “A brave lady, then. But you have to look past that, Fritz. Fräulein Waldung surely has some expectations, as should her family. You would appear callous now, if you deserted her.”
“Thanks for reliving some of my guilt,” was Fritz’s sarcastic reply.
“What? So you love one girl and you are obligated to another? You know what you have to do.”
“I know, I know…” Fritz sighed.
“You have not said anything to Fräulein von Eltow, have you?”
“No, and I will not until I resolve matters with Fräulein Waldung.”
“You mean, if you do not marry her.”
“Yes, yes, that is what I mean,” Fritz clarified, although reluctantly. He thought Anna deserved an apology and explanation no matter what happened.
Satisfied for the moment, at least, Eduard got to his feet.
“I hope you will stay as long as you like, but not so long that you neglect your other responsibilities.”
“I hoped to check into a job opportunity in Lübeck while I was here,” Fritz admitted, also rising.
“Oh? Good! I would like you to live closer than you currently do.”
The two brothers clapped each other on the shoulder and then Eduard went in search of something edible in his small cooking area. They needed something to eat on top of the schnapps.
Eduard was just in the process of frying some eggs and cutting bread when the door opened and his wife came in. Fritz had not met his sister-in-law before, and so he had been curious to see whether she lived up to Eduard’s rapturous description. He had to admit that Hannelore was pretty, though she could not hold a candle to Anna in his opinion. No woman could. Still, Hannelore was a very fine looking woman. She wore her hair in a neat bun, was dressed becomingly, though not very fashionably, and her face was attractive.
“You must be Fritz,” she said briskly, putting the basket she was carrying on the floor and holding out her hand towards him. “Glad to meet you at last!”
Fritz said what was proper, and shook hands with his sister-in-law. Then she noticed the schnapps-bottle on the table and frowned.
“I daresay you’ve been well-entertained while I was gone,” she remarked. “If it isn’t just like Eduard!”
“What’s just like me, dear?” Eduard asked, coming towards them carrying two plates of scrambled eggs and a basket full of bread.
“You’ve been drinking!” Hannelore said accusingly.
“Only a glass or two,” Eduard defended himself.
“You know I don’t like it.”
“It won’t happen again, love,” Eduard said consolingly and put the plates on the table, turning to Fritz. “Still keen on getting married, brother?”
“Absolutely,” Fritz agreed. “Your wife seems to take good care of you.”
“Are those the last eggs we had in the kitchen?” Hannelore asked, as Eduard and Fritz sat down to eat.
“I’m afraid so,” Eduard replied. “I didn’t know you’d come so soon, or I’d have given you some, too. You can have half of mine, though, if you like.”
“No, thank you. You do realize I needed those eggs for the cake I wanted to bake for your brother?”
“Did you? Sorry, love, I didn’t know that,” Eduard said. “Can’t you borrow some from one of the neighbors?”
“No, I can’t,” Hannelore replied. “Never mind. I can bake a cake for your brother next week.” She turned to Fritz. “You must get a strange idea of me,” she said, smiling at him. “I’m not usually such a shrew.”
“That’s right,” Eduard corroborated. “Only when I provoke her. – Are you sure you don’t want some egg?”
“Absolutely,” his wife assured him. “The way I know you, I’m sure you’ve made them too salty anyway.”
“Quite likely. That’s because the cook’s in love,” Eduard said, grinning.
Fritz grinned, too, because he knew that old saying: If the cook’s in love, the food’s spoiled. He was glad at least Eduard and Sophie were happily settled. Time would only tell if he would end up the same way.
Anna had just finished her work for the day, and was on her way home, when she realized Captain Johnson was following her. He had not been in the bar for a couple of days, which Anna had noticed with some relief, and had avoided her whenever they had met somewhere on the base. Yet he was following her now.
At first she told herself that this was not the case; that he just happened to walk the same way as she did, but after she had turned a couple of corners to shake him off, and he had still remained behind her, she could think of no other explanation. She walked on quickly, hoping to reach a square which was usually crowded at this time of day, and decided to stop and confront him once she had arrived there. He would not dare attack her with plenty of witnesses around, she reasoned, and if he refused to go away she could ask one of the passers-by for help.
Having reached the square, she put her plan to execution. She turned around quickly, waited until Captain Johnson had caught up with her and said, sharply, “Right. What do you want?”
His reply came as a big surprise – she had not expected anything of the kind.
“I just wanted to tell you I’m sorry for what I did the other evening.”
He was sober, Anna realized – and there was something boyish about him. If she hadn’t seen him at his worst often before, she might even be fooled into believing him.
“Fine,” she said. “And why did you have to follow me across town to tell me so?”
“D’you think I’d apologize with everyone watching? I don’t want to end up a laughing-stock.”
Anna shrugged. “Now that you’ve apologized, may I go home without you following me?”
“Sure. I… I didn’t want to frighten you. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone now. See you!” Anna waited until Johnson had disappeared in the distance, and then continued her way home. The last thing she wanted was for that man to find out where she lived.
At home, she found Karl sitting in the kitchen, talking with his father-in-law and Herrn Schäfer. He rose as Anna entered the room, and greeted her cordially.
“When did you get back from Constance?” Anna asked him, sitting down at the table next to Karl.
“Yesterday evening. Luise is getting better, thank God, so I saw no reason for us to stay. Maria wasn’t all that happy about it, but I’ve got a business to look after. I can’t stay away for ages just because Madam wishes for a holiday; and besides I don’t want to burden you with the children for any longer than strictly necessary.”
“They’ll be happy to see you,” Anna remarked, and turned to her father. “Where are they, anyway?”
Her father shrugged. “They went for a walk with Frau von Raetter an hour or so ago. I suppose they’ll be back soon.”
Anna realized that none of her family had thought of offering Karl a drink, or something to eat, and hurried to make up for the omission. Some careful questioning drew from her brother-in-law the information that Luise was getting better, and that Fritz had left Constance in order to visit his brother in the North. No, Luise did not appear to miss him overly much; Karl hated to think of his own sister as a flighty creature, but that was exactly what she was, apparently.
Anna suppressed a smile. Sad though it was that Luise had all but forgotten about Fritz in so short a time, it would maybe serve to make Fritz aware that she was not the girl for him. No girl who could put a man like him out of her mind so soon was.
When Freya returned with the boys, Anna packed their things, and then walked with Karl and her nephews to the train station.
“Thank you for everything,” Karl said before getting on the train to Mannheim. “I don’t know what we would have done without you. If there’s anything I can do for you in return, you’ll let me know, won’t you?”
Anna nodded, and lifted the boys up to their father. At least one member of her family appreciated what she did for them, she thought, watching the train leave the station. It did her good to know that.
Posted on: 2008-08-23 Several days later, Anna was free from work and she wanted to wash her hair, do laundry and go to the market, but her family had other ideas. "Wilhelm is taking us shopping," Elsa announced at breakfast. "You, too, Anna, although I really do not see why he must invite you." "Because he wants to show you he can be kind to your younger sister, Elsa dear," Frau Lehm insisted. Elsa smirked over her coffee. "That must be it." "Have you wondered why Wilhelm is spending so much money on us?" Anna had to ask. "No," was Elsa's blithe reply. "We are family and that is all the explanation I require. Will you press my green dress for me, Anna? I want to look my best for Wilhelm and everyone else who might see me. I believe I will wear my tan coat and hat," she mused. "You will look smashing!" Frau Lehm assured her. Anna gave up trying to discuss Wilhelm's motives and got up to put the heavy metal iron on the stovetop to heat. She knew from long experience that if Elsa was left to press her own dress, she would scorch it and demand a new one, and that was just not possible. Or worse, Elsa would want Wilhelm to pay for it, making her that much more beholden to him. Did their cousin think her father had money hidden away? A bank account in Switzerland no one knew about? Anna was not sure what Wilhelm's game was, but she was sure he was playing one, and they were all just pawns. Still, by going out with her sister, Anna would get a chance to stop at the market, even if she had to wait until they were on their way home. Shopping with Elsa did not include purchasing food. The shopping expedition was fairly successful, she thought hours later as they sat in a fancy pastry shop to rest their feet. Elsa managed to conserve their meager financial resources fairly well, for once. She’d bought a pair of stockings and that was it. Frau Lehm came to the notice of the owner of the lingerie shop that had enjoyed Elsa’s custom, and was offered a job, much to her delight. Elsa did not try to talk her out of it once she discovered Gertrude would receive an employee discount. A useful thing to have, considering how often Elsa needed new stockings. Anna was relieved that someone else would be bringing much-needed money into the household. Wilhelm was silent on the subject, even though Elsa and Gertrude were still discussing it over cakes and coffee. Even the fact that it had begun to rain while they were in the shop was not cause for much comment, except for him to say he would park his car closer so they would not get wet when they were ready to leave. Only Anna was dismayed by the weather, as she would have to go home first and retrieve her umbrella before shopping for food. Perhaps she would just walk, and take her chances with the rain. It was while she sat staring out the window, considering her options, her coffee growing cold in front of her, that she saw Fritz Wingendorff run under an awning across the street, lower his umbrella and step into a smoke shop. She frowned, but only because she could not recall if he smoked or not. And what was he doing in Heidelberg? If he had responded to his sister's invitation, it had been very quickly. Realizing Fritz really was in Heidelberg, and if he looked across the street he could see her directly in front of the window, Anna excused herself from the table and went to the powder room. Not that there was a chance of running into him in the shop, when his business took him elsewhere, but she refused to let her sister and Frau Lehm see her sitting there mooning over Fritz like a teenager. However, she took too long to powder her nose and when she came out, Fritz was standing there, with of a party of friends, waiting for a table. "Fräulein von Eltow!" he exclaimed, and she didn't want to think that the light in his eyes was because he was glad to see her. Still, a girl could dream. "Herr Wingendorff," she said formally. ' “So nice to see you again." Several months ago, she would have been tongue-tied, but now she could be open and friendly. "You are well?" he asked. "Very well. And you?" "Fine. Your family?" "As well as they always are." She indicated where her sister and Frau Lehm sat with a nod and watched as he exchanged glances with Elsa. Before he could raise a hand or call a greeting, however, Elsa had turned away. Wilhelm returned with his car, pulling up to the shop with a screeching halt that had everyone looking in his direction. Frau Lehm stood abruptly, as if that was their cue to leave, but Elsa looked up, shook her head, and Gertrude sat down once more. "You are leaving?" Fritz asked. "They are going with Cousin Wilhelm, but I plan on walking to the market." "But it's raining!" Anna smiled. "Only a little, and the way is not far." "I am here to have coffee with some friends; else I would offer to assist you. But you may borrow my umbrella if you like," he offered. "My hat and coat should be sufficient," she assured him, smiling. “I’ve been through worse; a bit of rain won’t kill me.” Wilhelm came in at that moment, stopped short at the sight of Anna and Fritz and then went quickly past them to escort Elsa and Gertrude out of the shop. Anna excused herself from Fritz's company, reluctantly, and followed them, so that her family might know her plans. Wilhelm insisted on coming to the market later to escort her home, and she had to agree quickly, because Elsa was already in the car, grumbling. As if she had anywhere important to go. After making her purchases, she found Wilhelm idling his car off to one side of the square. But if she had hoped he would be quiet while she continued to think about Fritz, she was mistaken. He rattled on about the family, and all she wanted to do was think about Fritz Wingendorff. How long was he going to be in Heidelberg? He hadn’t mentioned it; or she could not recollect it. He might only be passing through on his way to Lake Constance, or Mannheim. What if she ran into him again? What if Freya met him? Would she remember him? What would such a meeting be like? The moment Anna had left the pastry shop, the ladies in Fritz’ party began to talk about her. One of them lived in the same street as the von Eltows, and so she was acquainted with the family. Although not interested in gossip as a rule, Fritz did take considerable interest in Anna’s circumstances, and so he encouraged Frau Zittowski more than he would have done usually. “This is better than the movies,” Frau Zittowski chuckled. “Elsa von Eltow is after her cousin like the Devil’s after a soul; while he seems to care only for her sister.” “Oh, that is clear enough,” Frau Hempel replied. “One can guess what will happen there; Elsa von Eltow’s in for such a disappointment – though personally I think she deserves it. Behaves like a princess but is as common as muck. Anna, now, she is everything that’s agreeable, and the whole of them are taking advantage of her, poor girl. Now wouldn’t it be a good thing if Wilhelm von Eltow just married her and took her away from it all? Such a well-bred man, and so handsome!” Fritz almost choked on his coffee. “Anna is very pretty, too,” Frau Zittowski said. “She grows on one, doesn’t she? Not a showy piece like her sister, but very pretty in her own way. I must say I admire her style more than her sister’s.” “Oh! So do I!” “There’s no comparison between them. But for some reason or other men are quite wild after Elsa von Eltow. Not that she’d give any decent fellow a chance, stuck-up as she is. But they seem to admire her more than Anna; Anna’s too quiet and delicate for them.” Grimly, Fritz thought that it did not look as if Anna lacked admirers. There were two, apparently, not counting himself, and while he was able to dismiss that fellow Johnson (it did not look as if he had any honorable intentions regarding Anna, and Fritz felt that he’d be well able to deal with the fellow), that Wilhelm von Eltow was another thing altogether. Fritz toyed with the piece of cake on his plate, quite losing his appetite, until Zittowski, an old university friend, addressed him, and luckily the ladies turned their attention to another matter. Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Nineteen
Anna was soon to find out how Freya was likely to react to a meeting with Fritz Wingendorff. She was out with Freya, going for an early morning walk, and for the first half hour or so she kept a lookout for Fritz, half hopeful, half worried. At last, as they were walking back to the flat, Anna saw him on the right hand sidewalk and was able to keep him in sight as she walked. There were many other men about him, many groups of people walking the same way as he did, but there was no mistaking him. Anna looked instinctively at Freya, but not because she expected her to recognize Fritz as quickly as she did. No, Anna did not suppose Freya would recognize him until they were nearly opposite. She looked at her godmother, however, from time to time, quite anxiously, and when the moment arrived which must point him out, she was perfectly conscious of Freya looking in his direction, of her closely observing Fritz. She could perfectly understand why Fritz must fascinate Freya, how difficult it must be for her to avert her gaze, the astonishment she must feel at him being in Heidelberg once more! He hadn’t changed much, Anna thought; if anything he’d grown even more handsome than he’d been eight years before.
At last, Freya turned away from him, and Anna awaited her verdict with bated breath. She was to be disappointed.
“You will wonder what I have been staring at for so long,” Freya said, “but I was looking for some curtains Frau Lehm has pointed out to me the other day, telling me how much she liked the look of them. I cannot recollect the exact number of the house, and I have been trying to find out which one she might have meant. But I am afraid I haven not seen any curtains hereabouts that answer her description.”
Anna sighed, and blushed, and smiled, pitying her friend but also despising her, or maybe herself. What provoked her most was that, too busy watching her friend’s reaction to the encounter, she had missed the chance to discover whether he had seen them.
A day or two passed without Anna seeing anything of Fritz. For one, she had to work, and once she got home she was too tired to go out again. Besides it was hard to get rid of Cousin Wilhelm, who appeared to spend every evening at their flat now, playing dull card games with her father, Frau Lehm and Elsa, so that Anna could not get away because she was the one they needed to wait on their guest.
Then the day of the concert arrived, and remembering that she had half promised to spend that evening with Frau Schmidt Anna went to see her, to excuse herself and postpone the visit. Frau Schmidt did not seem at all disappointed to be deprived of Anna’s company for that evening; she was looking forward to see her the next day, and share some juicy gossip with her.
“By all means,” was all she said. “Only tell me all about it when you come to see me tomorrow. Who will be there?”
Anna named them all. Frau Schmidt frowned but made no reply; but when she was leaving her she said, with an expression half serious, half arch, “Well, I heartily wish your concert may answer, and do not fail me tomorrow if you can come; for I begin to suspect that I may not enjoy many more visits from you.”
Anna was startled and confused, but since she was obliged to hurry away she was not able to ask her friend what she had meant.
Posted on: 2008-10-04
The concert was to be a grand occasion, and the von Eltows had been planning the evening for a while. Cousin Wilhelm, who’d also received an invitation from Countess von Dahlen, had booked a table at a well-reputed hostelry opposite the church where the concert was to be held, and had promised to treat them all to dinner there before “the show started”.
This programme had met with Elsa’s full approval. The Golden Lion was not the Adlon*, she said, with an air of resignation, but it was certainly a tolerable place in its own way. Anna supposed this was her sister’s idea of praise – and of pointing out that she was used to better things. Anna, who, unlike her sisters, had never been in the habit of dining at the Adlon, had no objection to the Golden Lion as such, but wasn’t too happy about Cousin Wilhelm paying for their dinner, and was not looking forward to watching her father and sister toad-eating the Countess and her daughter. The only thing she was looking forward to was the music – Haydn’s “Creation” – and maybe seeing Fritz again. She knew he was fond of music, and the concert had been advertised all over the town, so it was likely he would attend – provided he got tickets, that was.
Dressed in her Sunday best, Anna entered the inn along with her family, and waited at the bar in the hallway for their host and the von Dahlen ladies to arrive. They had hardly sat down on the uncomfortable bar stools when the door opened again, and in came Fritz Wingendorff – by himself.
Anna, who was the closest to the door (Elsa had told her dear friend Frau Lehm that she was not to sit in the draught – she, who caught cold so easily!) immediately got up, and greeted him. Apparently he had not meant to stay and talk to her, but upon perceiving her outstretched hand he shook it, and made some polite enquiries regarding her health, and her friends, ignoring her father and sister who were sitting behind Anna, looking none too pleased. Not that Anna would have known if they’d suddenly grown horns, since she was not looking at them. With her father and sister behind her, she could act just as she pleased, and do just what she thought to be right.
While she was speaking to Fritz, a whispered conversation between her father and Elsa caught Anna’s ear. She did not understand what they were saying, but she could make an educated guess regarding their subject, and when Fritz favored them with a slight bow she understood that her father had condescended to give Fritz a sign of recognition, and was just in time to see Elsa give Fritz a false smile and a curt nod. Ungracious though their behavior was, it was better than nothing, at least, and made Anna feel more cheerful.
After talking about the weather and Heidelberg and the concert – which Fritz was indeed planning to attend – their conversation began to flag, and they said so little that Anna half feared he would leave any moment – but he did not; in fact he was in no hurry to do so. Instead, he said, with a little smile, “Except for a few minutes the other day, I haven’t seen you since I drove you back from Mannheim. How have you been? I am afraid you must have suffered from shock, all the more since it did not overpower you at the time of Luise’s accident.”
“Oh no, I didn’t suffer at all!”
“It was a dreadful day,” Fritz said, and for a moment he frowned, but then, smiling again, he added, “There have been some effects, however, some consequences which cannot be considered dreadful. When Bentinck stepped in to resuscitate Luise, none of us could have foreseen that he’d be one of those most concerned with her recovery.”
Anna laughed. “I certainly didn’t,” she said. “But it appears – I very much hope that it is going to be a happy match. There are good principles and good temper on both sides, which bodes well for their marriage.”
“Well, yes,” he said, avoiding her eyes, “but apart from principles and good nature they have not much in common. I … I wish them happy with all my heart, certainly, and am glad that they have no difficulties to contend with. No opposition, no caprice, no delays. The Waldungs are behaving very much like the wonderful people that they are, kindly, and honorably, and with no intention but to promote their daughter’s happiness. Very different from –“
He stopped; in all likelihood becoming aware of what he’d been about to say, and to whom he’d almost said it. Anna reddened, and turned her eyes towards the ground, to avoid looking at him. For a moment, there was silence, but then Fritz cleared his throat and went on.
“I confess that I do think that there is a disparity between them, too great a disparity to make their marriage a comfortable one. Their mindset is very different, don’t you agree? Luise Waldung is a very amiable, sweet-tempered girl, to be sure, and not deficient in understanding, but Bentinck – Bentinck is more than that. He’s a clever man, a well-read man, and I must say I was surprised at how quickly he grew attached to her! If … if he’d grown to love her, because he believed her to have a preference for him, it would have been another thing. But I have no reason to suppose that this was how it happened. On the contrary, it appears to have been quite spontaneous, on his side as well as hers. A man like Bentinck, in his situation! Not three months ago he was acting as if he was going to remain single and die of a broken heart one day, and now this! I don’t mean to cast any aspersions at Luise; I like her a great deal, but …. Franziska Hartwig was such a superior woman, and Bentinck seemed head over ears in love with her! He took her death very hard, too. And now, to fall in love with a girl of Luise Waldung’s kind within a week or two – it seems wrong, somehow. Having been so devoted to such a wonderful woman – one does not recover. Ought not, at any rate.”
Again, he grew silent, either from consciousness that his friend had recovered, or for some other reason. Anna, who had been hanging on every word he’d said, was struck, confused, and felt a hundred things in a moment. Could it be that he had not spoken of Bentinck alone, that he had been referring to himself as well? Yet she did not allow herself to be carried away, and though her heart beat very quickly and she wished she could be alone with Fritz to talk things over – for it appeared as if they had to talk a great deal – she pulled herself together and said, “You did stay in Constance for a while, didn’t you?”
“About two weeks. I couldn’t leave while Luise’s recovery wasn’t certain. I was too deeply concerned in the mischief to be at peace so soon. It was my fault – entirely mine. She would not have been so obstinate if I hadn’t been weak, if I’d behaved like the responsible grown-up that I thought I was. – The country around Lake Constance is very fine. I walked and cycled a great deal, and sometimes Bentinck took me along with him on a sailing trip. The more I saw of the country the more I found to admire.”
“I’d very much like to see the lake again,” Anna said wistfully.
“Really? I should not have supposed you would, considering the horror and distress you were involved in!”
“The last hours were certainly very painful,” Anna agreed. “But it wasn’t all bad, and once the pain is over the remembrance of the good things often become a pleasure. One does not love a place the less for having suffered in it, unless it has been nothing but suffering. Believe me, I’m an expert in these things.” She smiled sadly. “Anyway, this does not apply to Constance. We enjoyed ourselves so much until the accident happened!”
She had hardly finished her sentence when the door opened again, and Wilhelm von Eltow and the von Dahlen ladies entered the inn. Anna’s father and sister, as well as Freya, Herr Schäfer and Frau Lehm, got up to meet them, and since Anna was obliged to join her party she had to take her leave of Fritz. Their interesting, almost too interesting conversation had to end, though Anna hoped that they would soon have an opportunity to continue it. How much happiness it had brought her!
In the past ten minutes she had learnt a great deal about Fritz’ feelings towards Luise, and maybe even towards herself; more than she could ever have dared to hope. All of a sudden she was in excellent spirits, and ready to treat everyone with courtesy and kindness, and to pity everyone as being less happy than herself.
Those delightful feelings were slightly dampened when she managed to detach herself from her group once more and discovered that he was gone. She was just in time to see him take a seat at the bar, and she had to follow her party into the dining room and could not speak to him any more. She felt a moment’s regret, but then it occurred to her that they would meet again. Fritz would find her before the evening was over, she was sure, and at present, perhaps, it was good that they were going separate ways. She needed some time to collect her wits.
Their party being a rather large one, they had to divide themselves among two pews in the church after dinner, and Anna was among those on the one in front, Cousin Wilhelm by her side. Elsa was in her element in the second row, surrounded by the rest of the family, and the countess fussing over her. Anna did not even mind sitting next to Wilhelm, as she was occupied with thoughts of Fritz, and in the enjoyment of the music.
At one point, at the beginning of an intermission, Wilhelm asked her to tell him about the words.
"I don't understand a single thing," he complained.
Anna rolled her eyes. The performance was in German, after all, and there was no need for a translation.
Her cousin disagreed. "It is more the Biblical part of it I do not get. After all, how prosy can one be about the creation of the world? Seven days and it was done." He snapped his fingers.
Anna shrugged and began a discussion about Milton's 'Paradise Lost' being included in the story. Wilhelm listened intently, but she had the impression he was looking more for a way to flatter her than hearing her actual words. She was correct.
"It is amazing how you could memorize a complete oratorio such as this!" he marveled. “Such an accomplished young woman you are! Modest, too. Who knew such intelligence lurked behind that demureness?”
Anna blushed and attempted to change the subject. “Flattery will get you nowhere, and I am familiar with this work mainly because it was one of my mother's favorites.”
“It is not flattery,” he said in a voice only she was meant to hear. “I have long been aware of your character, even before I returned to the family fold.”
“Oh?” Anna looked at him in surprise. “I do not understand.”
“I am saying that your person, your nature, your manner and your accomplishments have all long since been known to me.” But he would mention no names, and she was puzzled, not to mention exceedingly curious, running through a list of people she knew who also might be acquainted with Wilhelm.
“Anna von Eltow has long been interesting to me,” he confessed, “and if I were given permission, that name would never change.”
Anna was about to reply, had even opened her mouth to do so, when she was distracted by a conversation behind her.
“A well-looking man,” her father was saying.
“Very fine!” the countess agreed. “Very self-composed.”
“An acquaintance of ours,” Anna heard. “Wingendorff is the name.”
She looked up to see Fritz standing off to one side with several other men, and he raised his eyes to her briefly before moving away for the beginning of the next act. He did not glance over at her again, and when Wilhelm said something to her, she wished he would be quiet. Didn’t he know what harm he was doing?
* Hotel Adlon – famous luxury hotel in Berlin
Posted on: 2009-05-02
During the following intermission, Cousin Wilhelm got up to join the party in the bench behind them, and Anna, aware of the empty seat next to her, had some reasonable hope of it soon being taken by Fritz.
She saw him approach her, but what a change there was in his demeanour since their meeting at the inn! He looked grave, and seemed uncertain as to whether he should join her, and Anna felt that there was something wrong. Why? Anna asked herself. Had her father and sister caused his renewed coldness? Had there been any unpleasant glances, or had they said anything stupid? Anna corrected herself - had they said anything unusually stupid? Was it Freya's proximity to her that made him hesitate? Or was it because of Cousin Wilhelm's familiar manner towards her? Surely he could not be jealous of Cousin Wilhelm; although he had paid her a great deal of attention she had been by no means encouraging in her conduct towards him. Fritz must have been aware of that!
In the end he appeared to have decided in favour of coming to see her once more; he began by discussing the concert with her - but gravely, very much in the manner of his behaviour in Mannheim, at the beginning of her visit to Maria. He owned himself disappointed with the concert; he had expected better singing, he said; even though the young performers were students of music and not yet professionals one might have hoped for a better performance from the soloists at the very least. In short, he said, he would not be sorry once the concert was over.
Anna replied, in defence of the performance - she owned that one or two of the soloists were perhaps less than perfect, but made allowance for their nerves, which, on such an occasion, must suffer greatly. She did not contradict him outright, instead she made allowance for his opinion too, and succeeded in so far that his countenance improved - he even allowed himself a wry smile or two at some of the things she said, and things were looking promising again. He even looked down at the bench, as if he meant to sit down next to her, when, just at that moment, a touch on Anna's shoulder made her look behind her. It was Cousin Wilhelm, who begged her to tell Frau Lehm what they were to expect during the following act. Frau Lehm was most anxious to be told what was going to be sung next. Anna could not refuse; but she felt she'd never made a greater sacrifice to the rules of politeness.
Even though Anna made her explanation quite hurriedly, it took a couple of minutes until she was at leisure to turn back to Fritz again. He was looking grave once more, and, falling back on his previous aloofness of manner, wished her a good night.
"What, are you leaving?" Anna asked, disappointed. "Why, you have only seen half of it!"
"What I have seen was quite enough," Fritz replied. "I … I just remembered something, and I must be going. I need to get home as fast as I can."
Anna did not believe his excuse for a moment. "Is the music not worth staying for?" she asked, looking at him pleadingly and hoping this would convey the message to him.
It didn't.
"No, there is nothing worth staying for," he replied impressively, and went.
He was jealous of Cousin Wilhelm! This was the only intelligible motive for his conduct. Fritz Wingendorff jealous! Jealous because she was paying attention to other men! Could she have believed it a week ago - three hours ago? For a moment, Anna was absurdly happy that she should have retained his good opinion. But the thoughts that followed were of a very different kind. How was she to reassure him; to show him that his jealousy was quite unfounded? How was she to convey the truth to him? What could she do, short of throwing herself at his feet, for which she felt no inclination? Even though she loved him dearly, she had her pride.
Cousin Wilhelm's attentions, though, were an incalculable evil. There was no saying what he would do, and Anna resolved that it would be better to stay out of his way.
The next morning, Anna was glad to have promised to visit her friend, Frau Schmidt. It meant that she was going to be away from home at a time when Cousin Wilhelm was most likely to call; and after last night avoiding him was her foremost object.
In spite of the mischief his attentions to her had done, she did feel a certain amount of goodwill towards him. Ever since he'd come to Heidelberg, he'd been very kind to her and her family - one could not deny it - and their situation would have been a great deal more difficult if it had not been for him. One had to be fair - he was most considerate towards her, and there was no saying as to what she would have done if it had not been for Fritz. But Fritz was there, and therefore the matter was not worth losing a single thought about. Cousin Wilhelm's attentions were flattering, but nevertheless painful, simply for the effect they had on Fritz and his opinion of her.
Frau Schmidt received her gladly, and was eager to listen to everything Anna had to tell her about the concert, little though it was. Anna's friend did not resent the fact that there was not much of interest Anna could share with her – she had her own suspicions of what had kept Anna's attention from the concert, and the people attending. Still, being the kind of person who always enjoyed a bit of gossip, she did ask some questions, and tried to find out as much as she could.
She mentioned some persons of prominence, and asked if they had been there, and while Anna could satisfy her on that point she could not for the life of her tell her friend what they had worn, or where they had sat, or whether they'd enjoyed the concert.
"One can hardly believe I was there," Anna ended her account with a wry smile. "I seem to have seen so little!"
"Oh, you saw enough to keep yourself amused, I'm sure," Frau Schmidt replied. "You were with a large party, and didn't need to look beyond."
"But I ought to have looked about me more," Anna said, blushing. "If only to oblige you!" To herself she had to admit that she'd looked about her a great deal, though with no apparent success.
"No, no," Frau Schmidt assured her, pouring another cup of tea for Anna. "You had better things to do. – I can see you had a pleasant evening."
Anna laughed. "How can you tell? Something in my eyes?"
"Oh yes; there's a certain sparkle one cannot miss. – Sugar?"
Anna declined; she knew sugar was still a rare commodity.
Frau Schmidt handed her the teacup before continuing, "Your countenance perfectly informs me that you spent yesterday evening with the one person whose company you value above all others. You had lovely music to listen to during the concert, and lively conversation in the interval."
Anna remained silent, only blushing slightly, wondering whether everyone could see how she was feeling at the moment. Could Fritz?
"And since this is the case," Frau Schmidt finally said, "I highly value that you have come to me this morning, and agreed to spend some time with an old friend."
How had her friend found out about Fritz, Anna asked herself? Who had told her – she had never seen them together; so it could not have been her own observation that had made her come to the conclusion. It was highly puzzling.
"Tell me; is your Cousin Wilhelm aware of your friendship with me? Does he know I am in Heidelberg at the moment?" Frau Schmidt asked.
"Cousin Wilhelm!" In an instant, Anna understood the mistake she had made. Frau Schmidt knew nothing of Fritz – like so many others she supposed it was Wilhelm von Eltow that she was in love with. "I had no idea you knew him," she added as an afterthought.
"We used to be well acquainted before the War," Frau Schmidt answered. "But we haven't met ever since, so I guess…" She gave a nervous laugh. "I guess we no longer are."
"I really didn't know!" Anna exclaimed. "You never mentioned it before! If you had, I'd have talked with him about you!"
It was now Frau Schmidt's turn to blush slightly. Her left hand, which held her teacup, shook. "In fact, I … I was hoping that you would do so. I need his help – I'd never approach him if I had anyone else to turn to – and…" She swallowed hard. "I thought that your influence with him might make him – more inclined to – to assist me in an important matter."
"I'd be extremely happy if I could help you in any way, you know that," Anna said. "But I'm afraid you are overrating my influence with Cousin Wilhelm. I don't know what can have given you such a notion, but … I'm not on such intimate terms with him as you seem to think. If there is anything I, as his cousin, can fairly ask of him, please tell me what it is and I'll talk to him about it."
"I've been premature, I see," Frau Schmidt said. "I am sorry for it; I should have waited for an announcement on your part before approaching you. But as an old friend, Anna – can you give me a hint as to how long I will have to wait? Next week? The week after that? Tell me, when can I reasonably hope to build my schemes on your Cousin Wilhelm's good fortune?"
"You are quite mistaken," Anna cried. "There will never be such an announcement – neither next week, nor the week after that, or at any time in the future! I'm sorry to disappoint you, but I am not going to marry Wilhelm von Eltow. What made you think I would?"
Frau Schmidt looked at her again, with a sad smile, and shook her head.
"Now, how I do wish I understood you! How I wish I knew what you were at! I'm pretty certain that you do not intend to be cruel; when the right moment comes you will accept him. I know how it is – till the proposal comes we never mean to have anyone. Every man is refused – until he proposes."
Anna laughed. "His wife hasn't been dead for long," she said.
"Ah! If this is the only objection you have, there's still hope for the poor man. All I ask of you, Anna, is that you won't forget me when you are married, and will remember that there's a friend depending on your assistance. Do tell him about our friendship, and that I'm still around, and he'll realise that it's no trouble at all for him to do what would mean so much to me. I know you'll be happy, Anna. Wilhelm von Eltow has enough sense to appreciate your value. You'll be safe in financial matters, for he is not one to part with his money foolishly."
"No," Anna said thoughtfully. "I can readily believe that of Wilhelm. He seems to have a calm, decided temper, not at all open to dangerous impressions. But I don't know him well, and I don't think he is the kind of man who allows anyone to really know him. I'm afraid he has something to hide – he has some good reasons of his own to associate with us, I suppose, but what they are I can't imagine. – Won't this convince you that he means nothing to me, Lotte? Should he ever ask me to marry him, which I don't think he will, I will not accept him. I give you my word that I won't. It's not Wilhelm who …" She broke off, blushing.
Anna was not yet ready to tell her friend about Fritz; but saying less would have been insufficient. Frau Schmidt would have hardly believed her, unless there was some implication of another man being involved. As it was, there was a gleam of comprehension in her eyes; she nodded and seemed willing to change the topic. Yet Anna was not ready to let it fall.
"Tell me, what put that notion into your head?" she asked her friend.
"It first came into my head," replied Frau Schmidt, "when I found out how much you were together. I knew it was the one thing your family and friends wished for, and therefore felt it was likely to happen. But no one ever talked of it until two days ago."
"Really? Who? Who talked of it?"
Frau Schmidt sighed, and took another sip of her tea. "Frau Lang told me; and said it would be a good thing for you."
"Your landlady? What business of hers is it, I wonder?"
"None; but where would we be if everyone just minded their own business? Besides she knows I am a friend of yours, and naturally assumed I was interested."
"I don't mind your taking an interest, Lotte. But I assure you…"
"I know. You told me, and I believe you. The attraction is not mutual, and you don't mean to have him. I cannot help but feel relieved."
"Relieved? I thought you wanted me to use my influence with him on your behalf, once we were married?"
"So I did, and it broke my heart to know you were going to marry that man – but knowing everyone has to make their own choices, I had to remain silent. It's not for me to criticise your choice of partner in life."
Anna stared at her friend in confusion. "I… I thought you were friends!" she said, after a few moments of silence. "You said so!"
"I said we were acquainted," Frau Schmidt replied. "Though I admit relations between him and my husband were very cordial once and closely resembled friendship. Yet considering what happened when we needed his help just once … I don't think he has ever truly been our friend."
By now Frau Schmidt's hand shook so much that she had to put her teacup down on her bedside table or she would have dropped it.
"I see," Anna said quietly. She did not ask what had happened – if Lotte felt up to telling her, she would do so. If not, Anna had no right to demand an explanation. Whatever had happened had left its mark on her friend.
"Maybe," Frau Schmidt said slowly, "I… I should just get it out of my system. Do you think I'd feel better if I told you?"
"I honestly don't know," Anna replied. "But I'm willing to listen to you if you choose to."
Frau Schmidt stared out of the window, unseeing. For a few minutes, neither of the women spoke. Then, slowly and painfully, Lotte Schmidt began to tell her tale.
Posted on: 2009-08-23
"I need not tell you that life became increasingly difficult for my family the longer Hitler was in power. You know how it was. For me, getting expelled from school – for such it was, whatever anyone else may have called it – was just the beginning. Yet in those days we still had hope things would get better in time. How long could it last, considering how long the previous governments had survived; this was what my father used to say. How wrong he was! But we were not the only ones who ignored the writing on the wall. Leaving the country became more and more difficult, and why should we? We were born and raised here like everyone else, and we were Germans just like the rest. So, why should we go abroad, and leave everything behind that our forefathers had worked hard to build? We could not bring ourselves to do so. Even so, we might have done it if we'd foreseen what would happen, and to what lengths they would go in order to be rid of us."
"We had some good times, at least while we were still allowed to go to places, such as cinemas, or theatres; before we had to wear that dreadful patch that branded us as outcasts. I fell in love with Achim, and married him, and he did his best to keep everything from me that was likely to upset me. He was not a wealthy man, but pretty well off. His father owned a small shoe factory in Berlin, and Achim also worked there as his father's deputy manager. We could afford a nice house in a good district away from the crowd, nice fashionable clothes for me – Achim was determined to give me only the best – and we often had parties with our friends. This was how I met your Cousin Wilhelm for the first time – he was a guest at our engagement party. Achim had invited him, and he'd come, although even then it was no longer considered suitable for a young man of good family to associate with Jews. That he had done so was enough for Achim to think that nothing would change in their friendship, no matter what the political climate was. He had to learn the hard way that Wilhelm was not to be trusted." Lotte sighed. It was clear that she, for one, wished her husband had not been forced to learn that lesson. For a moment there was silence; then she continued her story.
"During the first year of my marriage, Wilhelm von Eltow was a frequent guest in our house. He was permanently short of money, and Achim was only too happy to help him out as far as he was able, the good soul that he was! He wouldn't hear of repayment either, and after what happened later I am almost convinced that he'd have found it very difficult to get any of that money back if he had wanted it."
Anna did not doubt that. It tallied with what she'd known of her cousin as he'd been before the War – a selfish, calculating man; not above taking advantage of friends and family when it suited his ambitions. Again she wondered why he'd sought out her family now – what was there to be gained for him?
"Things became worse and worse for us; there were new laws practically every day – we were no longer allowed to vote; they took away my father-in-law's firm and left us almost destitute, for it was impossible for Achim to find work. No one would employ a Jew any more, you know. We still had some money left, but we could no longer afford to keep our house, so we left it and moved into a cheap flat instead. It was then that your cousin's visits became less frequent, but Achim attributed the fact to his recent marriage. – You didn't know his wife, did you? I did; she was OK I guess, and very much in love with him, and I don't think she was the sort who'd put a stop to his friendship with Achim. That was entirely his idea I'm sure. Achim was no longer useful, and so he dropped the acquaintance like the proverbial hot potato. Naturally my husband did not believe that. He was a dear, sweet man but more trusting than was good for him."
Lotte's voice grew hard as she said so, and Anna wondered whether she blamed her husband or Cousin Wilhelm. She was going to find out soon, she knew.
"In November '38 – you remember the riots I suppose – my father was dragged out of our family home and badly beaten up. He only survived a couple of days after that, and my mother drowned herself a week later – she couldn't bear life without him. I was devastated at the time, though now I think they were at least spared what followed."
It was strange, but Anna got the impression as if Lotte had detached herself from the story she was relating, as if it was someone else's history and not her own. Maybe this was what had helped her to survive, to shut events out as if they had nothing at all to do with herself. There was one part of her own history – her flight from East Prussia – that had had the same effect on her. It seemed like a bad dream to her now, yet it had happened. She still had nightmares about walking across the ice sometimes, with Russian planes approaching, dropping bombs on the ice and people around her drowning in the chilly sea and herself powerless to do anything to help them… Whatever Anna had been through though, Lotte had surely seen worse things happening, and it might well have had the same effect on her.
"We had some decent neighbours, and one of them, a widow living downstairs from us, told us one day that some men with an arrest warrant had turned up at our door. They'd be back soon, she warned us, and we'd better not be there when they did. That was when we decided to disappear. Achim had arranged it – without telling me, because he hadn't wanted to worry me – and we managed to keep ourselves hidden in Berlin for almost two years. We stayed with different people all the time, never for longer than a couple of days. If anyone saw us, we were said to be relatives who'd come for a visit; later we were friends or relatives who'd been bombed out of their house. Most of the time though we made sure no one saw us; we were kept hidden in attics or cellars. The air raids were the worst thing. We had to stay where we were, holding on to each other, never sure if we were going to survive or be killed in a direct hit this time. We did survive somehow, but it became more and more difficult to find people willing to hide us, and we were running out of money at last. So Achim decided to contact Wilhelm, in the hope of gaining his assistance in getting out of the country. We were arrested the very next day when we went to meet him."
Anna gasped. "Do you think he told the police?"
"I'm pretty sure of it, though I have no proof. But he was there when they arrested us, and strangely enough they did not arrest him, although he'd promised to help us. I'll probably never know, but I do want him to keep that promise of his at last. If I'd anyone else to turn to I would, you may be sure, for I'd rather ask anyone than him."
Anna could well believe that. "You were … you were in a camp then?" she asked.
"Several. It's strange what people can survive – one would think years of concentration camp would be enough to kill anyone, but I must have been tougher than I'd thought, after all I made it. Not that I wanted to, but obviously I wasn't meant to go. Achim didn't survive for more than two months; he died of pneumonia, or that's what they told me; it isn't necessarily true. I was sent from one place to another, but they were all the same to me. I ended up in some place in Austria, where the Americans found me at the end of the War. I was half dead by then, no more than skin and bones, and didn't expect to live for more than a couple of days more. How ironic it would be, I thought, to have lived through all this and be dying now! – I remember this soldier; a young boy, he can't have been a day older than eighteen. He was sitting on my bed, feeding me some soup – I was so weak I couldn't even hold the spoon myself; swallowing the soup cost me an enormous effort. There were tears streaming down his face all the time and I tried to tell him not to cry. It wasn't his fault I was in that state, I told him, and I'd always be grateful for what he was doing, so there was no need for him to cry. He broke down sobbing then, and his comrades had to take him away. I suppose having such a poor creature as me trying to comfort him was the last straw; he could take no more. I don't envy them the task they had to do, poor chaps. They had to bury our dead by the thousands, and nurse the rest of us back to health, or at least try to do so."
Anna, who had seen the horrifying pictures of concentration camps, felt truly sorry for the soldiers who'd liberated them. They hadn't been prepared for such horror; an entire world war hadn't been enough to prepare them for what they'd witnessed there. It was a heavy load of shame her generation had amassed for those to come; she could not help but feel. Surely they'd be called to account by their children and grandchildren one day, and how was she to explain something that could not possibly be explained? That her cousin could have betrayed a man to whom he was indebted so much to the police, in the knowledge that something dreadful would happen to him – even though he might not have been fully aware of the fate that awaited the Schmidts – filled her with disgust. She did not need any proof; she knew he was capable of such a cowardly act, and that was quite enough. What would Fritz have done in the same situation? Anna had no doubt that he'd have made a push to assist them in getting out of the country; he might have called in a favour or two and got them somewhere safe. If he hadn't been able to do so he'd have told them so right away, and kept quiet about their whereabouts. Even Anna would have tried to find a safe hiding place for them, taking the danger to her own person into account rather than betray anyone. In fact she'd been known to keep one of the barns in Kaehlau unlocked at nights, without asking any questions as to the use it was put to.
"How did you end up in Heidelberg, of all places?" Anna asked her friend. Lotte shrugged.
"It's as good a place as any other," she said. "No one cares where I live; least of all myself. By the time I got out of hospital – they kept me there for six months – they put me into a train to Heidelberg and told me they'd found a place for me to stay. So now here I am, but the longer I have lived here the more certain I've become that I want to leave Germany. I don't want to run into one of those people who…" She broke off, but Anna knew what she meant. In spite of the attempts at bringing the offenders to justice, many had got off lightly. It was not impossible that Lotte might encounter a former Camp warden in the street; one of those people who'd mistreated her, and killed her friends. Her wish to leave Germany behind her was understandable, she thought, and Anna wished she had the money to facilitate it.
"I understand this is why you wanted me to intervene on your behalf," Anna said. "You want my cousin to keep his promise and get you out of the country. But where do you want to go?"
"There is an uncle of mine living in Palestine – Israel, as it's now called," Lotte explained. "He's the only one of my relatives still living, and I contacted him a while ago. He's willing to offer me a home in his house but he cannot afford to pay for my boat ticket to Haifa, and nor can I."
"So you wanted me to ask Cousin Wilhelm if he could buy the ticket for you."
"That was my original plan, yes. I'll have to think of something else now; I don't think he'll do it unless somebody he really cares for pleads with him."
"And do you think he cares enough for me to listen to what I have to say?" Anna asked.
"I honestly don't know. He does care for you, I think, though how much he does I have no way of knowing. I suspect, though … I may be wronging him, but I think he is courting you because of your influence with the Americans."
Anna laughed. "I don't have any influence with them. I'm just a barmaid, for God's sake!"
"But you have friends among them, don't you? I think he's afraid that if something of his past becomes known he might well need your American friends to help him out of trouble."
It sounded plausible, Anna thought. There was nothing else her family had to offer, and she'd often wondered why Wilhelm had returned to the family fold when he hadn't bothered about keeping in contact with them earlier.
"I'll do what I can to help you, Lotte," she promised. "I'll get the money for your ticket if I have to beg or steal to get it. You will go to Haifa before this year is out."
Lotte laughed, her agitation almost gone. "Don't make any promises you can't keep," she said. "I appreciate your good intentions, naturally, but I know you cannot afford to help me."
"I don't," Anna admitted. "But I may know one or two people who can, or who can help you in some other way."
Surely Fritz had some friends who could help, she thought. Or the Admiral, too. Somebody among their acquaintance would be able to obtain a cheap passage for Lotte, she was sure. She only needed an opportunity to lay the matter before them.
With this on her mind, she took her leave of Lotte and went off to the American base to start work on the late shift.
Posted on: 2010-03-11
At the base, Anna could not repeat Lotte's story, but it weighed enough on her mind that both Morrow and Johnson remarked on her quietness.
"What's got you so down, kitten?" Capt. Johnson asked as he sat at the bar with his new best friend, Lt. Morrow. How that had happened, Anna didn't want to know, but even more surprising was the grape soda in front of Johnson, instead of a beer. She gave them both a wan smile.
"I heard something today that put a particular person in a bad light," she admitted, not wanting to tell them he was a family member, as well. "Although I should not be surprised, I suppose. I'd rather not talk about it."
"That's OK," Morrow said, shooting his buddy a 'don't ask' glance. "But we're here if you need us."
Anna's smile grew considerably. "Thank you. Now, tell me what has been going on this week?" She hated to say it, but she had not been paying much attention, between the concert and Lotte's revelations.
"Ogilvy made full bird!" Johnson remarked.
"Full bird?"
Morrow chuckled. "He's been made a full colonel. In fact, he's in line to take over the base."
"That's wonderful!" Anna was very happy for her highest-ranking champion. "But where is he?" She scanned the room. "Why isn't he celebrating?"
The men shrugged. "Who knows?" Johnson replied. "Maybe we aren't good enough to fraternize with anymore."
"Of course you are!" But that made Anna wonder if the colonel could help Lotte. Perhaps she did have some friends in high places, after all.
Johnson actually blushed, and that was when Anna took another look at the bottle in front of him. "Grape soda?"
He turned an even brighter red. "I promised Ogilvy that I'd try to cut back on the beer, and hey – if it's good enough for Hedy Lamarr*, it's good enough for me!"
They all laughed, but later, after Johnson had left, Morrow came around the bar.
"I'm here if you need me," he reminded her. "And don't let this person upset you so much. Whoever they are, I'll bet they aren't worth the trouble."
Taking Lt. Morrow's words to heart, Anna was relieved to know she was no longer required to think well of Cousin Wilhelm. Compared to Fritz, who was too honorable to have ever profited from the war, and even now was rebuilding his life on his own merits, Wilhelm was to be pitied. Still, it was the only point on which she was relieved. There was still her family, who would only think Wilhelm clever enough to line his own pockets, as they were still reaping the benefits of his actions. Anna wondered if she would ever be able to accept any of his gifts again. She would be forever grateful to Lotte for sharing her story and opening Anna's eyes.
Still, she did need to speak to Freya about all this. Someone needed to know why she was about to distance herself from Wilhelm and his largesse without warning. But Freya could not be told Anna's greatest anxiety, which had everything to do with Wilhelm's proprietary manner the evening before and Fritz's reaction.
When she got home, she found she had missed her cousin's visit, but he was planning to call again the next evening. She was not happy to hear that, as she worked a day shift and would be at the flat. Anna wondered where their father was, and Elsa said he had gone to a movie with Frau von Raetter.
"I wasn't going to ask him," Elsa said of their cousin, following her sister about the tiny flat as she prepared for bed. "But he seemed so desperate to come. Ask Gertrude if you don't believe me."
"He was practically begging!" Gertrude crowed, even as Anna was about to say she believed them.
"I know how to play men's games," Elsa said with a knowing smile. "So I took pity on him when he regretted not seeing Father. It is so gratifying to see Cousin Wilhelm look up to him!"
"Very much so!" Gertrude belatedly agreed. "Just like father and son!" She avoided looking at Anna.
"Well…" Elsa's reply was coy. "I wouldn't know about that. I do have other men interested in me…"
If Elsa thought Anna would be jealous of her, she had better think again.
"Elsa!" Gertrude squealed.
"Hush! You do not need to be so concerned about my love life. He is invited and he went away happy."
Anna was not so thrilled the next day when she came home to find Wilhelm still visiting. She was sure she had to put on a good face, but there was no more sincerity behind it than she was sure was behind his. Much to her continued relief, Wilhelm announced that he was leaving Heidelberg on business for a few days. Elsa urged him to come by for cards the night of his return, and Frau Lehm echoed the invitation.
Anna had never really liked Gertrude, but what she knew now of Wilhelm only showed that there was a bigger hypocrite in their midst. Frau Lehm might be selfish, but her cousin was a thief and a crook.
She and Freya had resolved to go for a walk the next morning, but Anna hung back for a little while when Gertrude agreed to run a few errands for Elsa. She was in no mood for the other woman to either walk with them part of the way, or find a way for Anna to complete the errands.
Then the idea of a walk was discontinued, because Karl and Maria showed up at their door. Anna was not sorry to see them, especially when it was apparent that Maria was sober. Her father and sister were even more welcoming when it was clear they did not plan to stay with their family.
They had come to Heidelberg for a few days with Frau Waldung, and were staying at what Anna knew to be a nice, modest hotel. Elsa took Maria off to her room for a chat, and Anna was left to entertain Karl.
He told her their companions were his mother, Henriette and Capt. Hartwig. He said Hartwig had business here in town, Maria insisted on coming, too, to see her family, and how it turned into a large party after Henriette decided she wanted to shop for some of her trousseau.
"Then she and Herr Hayter are going to marry soon?"
"Heinrich ended up with a parish in Ludwigshafen, is well able to support her and they do not want to wait. They're probably going to have a double wedding; Luise has sent a list of her own shopping needs with our sister," Karl pulled a face at that, "and everyone else is still in Mannheim."
"I am so glad both your sisters are going to be well settled then."
"My parents are delighted that Henriette will be settled so close to Mannheim. Maria does not think Heinrich is good enough for Henriette, but then, she never did."
"And probably never will. Luise is doing well?"
Karl took a moment to phrase his answer. "She is, but she is changed. She is not the lively girl she once was, but a sedate young lady just a little bit on the edgy side. Bentinck's presence seems to keep her calm."
Anna smiled. "Not exactly your sort of man, I know, but I think highly of him."
"I do, too! Even though he is not the businessman I am, I believe his reading will do him just as well as his fighting record. He doesn't talk much, but when he does, he has plenty of logical things to say. He helped run some rats out of the shop the other day, and I've liked him better ever since."
The entire visit was a success, by Anna's estimation. Maria could feel superior about her own lodgings, in comparison to the flat, and Elsa could counter with the attentions and expensive commodities provided by Cousin Wilhelm, leaving them both in charity with the other.
Elsa had been in a quandary at one point, wanting to invite Frau Waldung for dinner, but not wanting her to see what meager fare they ate. In the end, she decided on cocktails and cards, and made that sound much more elegant. Maria was more than thrilled to come when she heard Cousin Wilhelm was to be in attendance, and Elsa promised to invite the countess, too, although Anna was sure much would have to be done to the flat to make it more presentable.
Anna was invited to go back to the hotel with Karl and Maria, and she went gladly, receiving warm welcomes from both Frau Waldung and Henriette. It was such a shame her own family could not be as friendly as the Waldungs, and she resolved to give them a lot of her attention while they were visiting Heidelberg. In return, they insisted she be included in their activities while they were in town, and while she chatted amiably with the ladies, their rooms received a steady stream of packages, notes and friends.
At one point, Karl went out and returned with both Capt. Hartwig and Fritz, and Anna found herself surprised speechless for a moment. She watched him, mute, as he came into the room, but the look on his face was much like the one he had worn at the concert, before running off, and she realized he had removed himself from the area of conversation.
She tried to be calm about the whole situation, and cautioned herself to be patient. If what she believed was true, they would find each other in the end.
"Anna!" Maria called from the window. "Frau Lehm is standing outside the hotel with a man! Come tell me who it might be! Well!" she suddenly exclaimed. "It is Cousin Wilhelm!"
"I don't think so," Anna protested. "He is out of town on business and won't be back until tomorrow." She could feel Fritz's eyes on her, and she wished she had not given away so much information.
Maria, insisting she knew what her own cousin looked like, having seen him at Lake Constance, began to point out the von Eltow chin on him, and the way he stood like their father. "Come here, Anna!" she demanded. "It is our cousin!"
Anna stayed where she was, especially when a couple of the Waldungs' friends gave each other knowing glances. She never would have noticed if it hadn't been for Lotte's words, but it seemed the belief that she and Wilhelm were an item had spread.
"Oh, do come on!" Maria urged. "If you do not get over here now, it will be too late! He is leaving!"
To shut her sister up, Anna moved over to the window and was just in time to realize it was Wilhelm before he disappeared around the corner. Gertrude was walking off the other way.
"Why, yes, it does seem to be him. He must be leaving town later than he said, or changed his mind completely. I don't know his every move." And, feeling as if she had squashed some of the rumors, she sat back down.
After the company had left, Karl said he had tickets to the theater for the family the next evening, and invited Anna to attend, as well. "Mother loves a good play, and Wingendorff is coming, too."
Frau Waldung was praising her son when Maria interrupted.
"We can't go tomorrow night! Didn't you hear Elsa inviting us all for cards then? We're going to meet the Countess von Dahlen and her daughter, and Cousin Wilhelm! It's just like you, Karl, to forget such a thing!"
Karl made a rude sound. "Cards? If they really wanted us, they would have invited us for dinner. You do what you want. I'm going to the theater."
"But I promised we would all go to my family's flat!" Maria wailed.
"I never promised a thing! I said 'happy' and smiled. There wasn't any promise."
"We have to go – it would be a slap in the face to Elsa and Father if you didn't. We were asked specifically so we could be introduced. We're quite near relations of the countess, you know. And we'll finally get to meet Cousin Wilhelm in person! Not go?" Maria pouted.
"What are all of them to me, really?" Karl insisted.
Anna looked up and saw Fritz turn his attention from Karl to herself, as if questioning her. Karl and Maria kept up their argument, Karl half joking and Maria dead serious, and insisting that if they went to the theater without her, she'd never speak to him again.
"Get the tickets changed for Tuesday," Frau Waldung finally insisted. "Anna will want to be at her family's party, and Henriette and I should hate to go to the theater without her."
"If it were up to me," Anna said, "I would go to the theatre tomorrow with you and Henriette. I do not enjoy cards and would much rather see the play." And so it was agreed they would play cards the next evening and go to the theater another night.
She watched as Fritz got up from his seat, walked around a moment and then sat down next to her.
"You do not necessarily want to be at your family's party?"
"Not really. I don't drink much and I am not much of a card player."
"I remember you said you didn't like parties of that kind, once upon a time, but perhaps you had changed."
"I have not changed much!" she protested, and stopped, lest he misconstrue her meaning.
"Eight years has been quite a period of time," he said into the silence that followed.
Anna would have to ponder what he meant by that at another time, because Henriette was talking about going out before more people arrived, keeping her away from the shops.
"I am ready," Anna assured the younger girl, but the arrival of Elsa and their father put a damper on their plans, as well as the cheerful atmosphere of the room.
At least her father and sister were willing to acknowledge Fritz. Elsa, it seemed, was giving him more than one glance. Invitations were given in person for cards and cocktails the next evening, and Elsa made a point of including Fritz. Personally. It was enough to set Anna's teeth on edge, but she knew why Elsa was going to such lengths. Fritz had more prestige in this post-war era, and was more than welcome to grace their home.
Anna knew Fritz better than almost anyone in the room, however, and she wondered if Elsa even knew how much he disliked her. Anna was glad when her father and sister left, Fritz standing there glaring after them.
"Imagine Elsa including everyone in her invitation!" Maria whispered loudly to her sister. "Look at the way Capt. Wingendorff could not keep his eyes off her!"
Anna caught his eye, saw his contempt and turned away.
The men all parted soon afterwards, and when Henriette asked her to come shopping, Anna could only beg to go home, promising to spend some time with them the next afternoon after she left work.
*Actress Hedy Lamarr was a Nehi spokesmodel in the late 1940s.
Posted on: 2010-04-18
At home, the flat buzzed with activity, for Elsa and Gertrude were trying to figure out where to place a table borrowed from the neighbors, and how they were going to have to get more than beer for their makeshift bar. Elsa seemed to think Fritz was going to attend as she rattled off the guest list, but Anna was not so sure of him. Sometimes she thought he might come, but then she would shake her head, convinced he would not.
She only stopped worrying long enough to let Gertrude know she had been seen earlier with Wilhelm after he was known to be out of town.
Gertrude gave her a guilty glance, gone so quickly, Anna thought she had fancied it.
"You can imagine my surprise, Anna, dear, when I met Herrn von Eltow on the street this morning! After all, we knew him to be gone. He had been delayed, of course, but assured me he will be here tomorrow. He couldn't talk of anything else but the party! I've been so full of it myself, I forgot to mention him!"
Heavy rain delayed Anna from having breakfast at the hotel with the Waldungs the next morning, and when she finally arrived, it was to find them with company.
Frau Krafft was chatting with Frau Waldung, Fritz and Capt. Hartwig were deep in discussion, and Maria and Henriette had gone out as soon as the rain stopped. Anna was to wait for them, as they would be back as soon as they could. She sat, as entreated by Frau Waldung, and tried not to let herself become too agitated, plagued once again by her worries.
"I'll write that letter now, Hartwig," Fritz suddenly said, and was directed to a desk in the corner. He turned his back on the room to tend to his business.
Frau Waldung was telling Frau Krafft about Henriette's engagement, but in a loud whisper, so that everyone could overhear. Anna did not want to include herself in the conversation, but Capt. Hartwig did not seem inclined to talk, leaving it unavoidable to hear such snippets as "… how Karl and Heinrich Hayter talked it over, what the happy couple wished and what I changed my mind about, thinking all would end well," and continued on in the same vein for some time. Frau Krafft seemed amused by the entire situation, and at one point Anna was sure that lady winked at her over Frau Waldung's shoulder. Hopefully, the men were too preoccupied to listen.
"So, even though we wished it were different, and the children are so crazy about each other, we thought they should go ahead and marry and make the best of it. It will be better than a long engagement, I think."
"I agree," said Frau Krafft. "If they are going to struggle, better to do that together."
"That is what I said!" Frau Waldung cried. "A year or six months is intolerable enough, but longer? No, I don't think so."
"Anything could go wrong in such a time," Frau Krafft added. "And since they have at least a small income to live on, I see no reason not to go ahead."
Anna became interested in the conversation at that point. They could have been speaking about her years ago, and she felt her gaze move to the desk, and Fritz. He stopped writing, paused and turned around to give her one quick look.
The two ladies carried on, oblivious to the others, but Anna heard nothing else.
Capt. Hartwig, who had heard none of the conversation, left his seat and moved to the window, and by a series of small nods, Anna soon realized he was inviting her to join him. She slid quietly away from the ladies and joined him, as the captain seemed serious, his expression thoughtful.
"See this?" He showed her a small photo, damaged by fire on one side. "Do you know who this is?"
"Capt. Bentinck." Younger, wearing his Kriegsmarine uniform and actually smiling, she noted.
"You might know then, who it is for. It was taken years ago, and for another person. I've been asked to have it restored and framed for Luise. He asked me! But there is really no one else to do it for him and I am not sorry that it is being done. Fritz is writing to a friend of his about it now." He sighed. "Poor Franziska. She would not have forgotten him so soon."
"No," Anna softly agreed. "I can believe that."
"She loved him so deeply, it would not have been like her to forget."
"Nor for any woman truly in love."
Hartwig smiled. "Do you claim that for your whole sex?"
"Of course! We do not forget our men as soon as they forget us. It is our fate, I think, rather than our merit. We can't help it. Women stay home more, and we have a tendency to do for others. We live quietly, so we have more time to reflect on our feelings. Men have professions, pursuits and business to tend to, and they keep you occupied and in the world."
"If what you say is true – and I am not agreeing, mind – you would not be talking about Bentinck. He does not live much in the real world, he found a quiet, peaceful job as soon as the war was over, and has been living with my family ever since. He doesn't seek adventure in his free time either – unless it's to be found between the covers of a book."
"That is true," Anna said. "But the change was probably from outward experiences, such as the war. It must be man's nature to have changed him."
"No, not man's nature," he disagreed. "It is no more man's nature to forget those they love, or have loved, than it is a woman's. I think it is the opposite. Our bodies are stronger, and so are our feelings. We're capable of being roughly used and riding out heavy weather."
"Your feelings might be stronger," Anna argued, "but ours are more … tender. We live longer, too. Men have difficulties and dangers to live with. You have to work hard for your family, your country, your friends. You can't really call time, health or life your own. How can you be expected to shoulder women's feelings on top of all that?"
Hartwig shook his head. "I don't think we will ever agree…"
A noise interrupted their discussion, but it was only Fritz having dropped his pen on the floor. Anna flushed when she realized he was seated so close to them. Had he heard their conversation?
"Finished?" Hartwig asked him.
"Almost. Give me five minutes."
"No hurry. I am in good company while I wait." He smiled at Anna. "As I was saying…" He lowered his voice so that only she could hear. "We will never agree on this point. I don't think any man or woman could. But all of history is against you. If I was as clever as Bentinck, I would quote fifty times over views that back up my position. Even the Proverbs talk of woman's inconstancy."
"Men have the advantage there," Anna said, "having written all of that."
"But how can we prove a thing?"
"I don't think we can. I am certain we are both biased, based on our genders and experiences, some of those being so confidential, we can't even speak of them."
"Ah!" Hartwig cried. "If I could only make you feel what it is like to go off to war and say goodbye to your wife and growing family, having no idea if you'll ever see them again. Or have you know how it feels to be reunited with them once more. I speak, you know, of men who have hearts." He pressed a hand to his.
"Oh!" Anna exclaimed. "I do not put down the faithfulness of any fellow human. I should be contemptible if I supposed only women capable of true attachment." What Hartwig said of his family, and the feeling with which he had said it, touched her tender heart. "I only believe that women love the longest, even when existence or hope is gone." She knew that first-hand. "It's not a particularly pleasant experience," she added. "You needn't covet it."
"You are a good soul," Hartwig said, patting her arm. "I can't argue with you further."
Their attention was diverted at that point. Frau Krafft was leaving.
"I'll see you later tonight, Fritz, at Anna's party," she told her brother. "Your sisters invited us," she said to Anna, "and I know that Fritz was asked, as well."
Fritz folded up a note and gave only half an answer. "We will meet up shortly, Sophie. Give me but half a minute more, will you, Hartwig?"
Frau Krafft left, and Fritz sealed up his letter and seemed impatient to leave. Hartwig said goodbye, but there wasn't a word or glance from Fritz as they left the room. Anna moved closer to the desk, and she and Frau Waldung looked up when they heard footsteps and saw Fritz return.
He begged their pardon – he forgot his hat – and approached the desk. With his back to Frau Waldung, he drew a note out from under some paper, placed it before Anna with an entreating look and grabbed his hat, leaving quickly once more.
The letter, addressed to Anna, was obviously the one he had been folding before. Anna was surprised to realize he had been writing to her, as well as his friend. She wondered what it said, and while Frau Waldung fussed with some sewing, she read the following:
I can no longer be silent, but I have to speak to you in a way that no one else can hear me. You penetrate my being. I wait in agony, and in hope, to hear that I am not too late, that you love me still.
Here I am, offering myself to you with a heart that belongs even more to you now than it did years ago. Do not say man forgets more easily than woman, that his love dies an earlier death. I have loved no other than you.
I know I have been unfair, weak and indignant, but never uncertain. You alone have brought me to Heidelberg. For you alone I plan and dream. Do you not know this? Can it be that you have misunderstood what I want?
Look at me. I haven't even waited ten days to approach you, and I can hardly write. Everything I hear overpowers me. You lower your voice, but I can pick it out just the same, you darling creature. You must believe there is true attachment and constancy among men.
Yours,
F.W.
P.S. I must go, uncertain of my fate. But we will meet up again, as soon as I can arrange it. A word from you will be enough for me to decide whether I enter your family's flat tonight. Or never.
Such a letter was not to be soon recovered from. Anna felt as if she could not catch her breath. A little bit of time might have seen her tranquilized, but before she was much beyond a stage of disbelief, of wonder, Karl, Maria and Henriette came in.
It was difficult for Anna to act herself, and after awhile she gave up trying, claiming she was not feeling well and tried to excuse herself. Everyone was instantly concerned, and Frau Waldung insisted Karl get the car and drive her home. Anna tried to protest, but there was not much resistance on the part of the Waldungs, even Maria, and by the time Karl had the car ready, Anna could see no trace of Fritz anywhere. With a heart both heavy and light, she allowed herself to be driven home.
Posted on: 2010-05-08
"You've been preoccupied all night," Lt. Morrow said at the end of Anna's shift.
"My family is having a party tonight, and I really do not want to go home." It was already late, and she was sure they would be up all night, drinking and playing cards. She wished she could just curl up in her bed – not that she expected to get much sleep, but she needed time to think about what to do; how to contact Fritz. She hadn't been able to see him yet, and hoped he hadn't mistaken her silence for rejection.
"Is that all?" Morrow doubted that was what preyed on her mind, but he did not want to pry too much. Like last time, when she was similarly distraught, he told her he was available if she wanted to talk.
Anna nodded and continued wiping down tables. Hermann came behind her, picking up the chairs and putting them upside down off the table edges.
"I have guard duty, but I could walk you home first, so you won't have to be alone," Lt. Morrow offered, insisting on doing something for her.
Anna considered that. Wilhelm, whom she did not particularly wish to see, would be at the party and unable to provide transportation. A walk alone might help her clear her mind, but Morrow looked so eager, she finally agreed to his plan even though it was not what she wanted.
Only when they left the officer's club did they see Fritz and his Mercedes outside the main gate.
"I…" Anna faltered when he came forward to greet them, and she suddenly wished to run back into the club. Her mind raced, and did she but know it, her cheeks turned pink.
"Good evening, sir," Morrow said to Fritz, as if he were a stranger, not the friendly fellow who had bought him beers in Constance. He remembered how Fritz had shown some jealousy towards him concerning Anna, and he had a sudden idea. A very good one.
"Would you mind taking Fraulein von Eltow home? I have guard duty soon and it might be better anyway if she is driven. She must be rather tired."
Anna was not exactly eager to go home to a crowd easily two or three times the number usually in residence, but she would be going with Fritz, and that made all the difference in the world.
Fritz had no objection, and neither he nor Anna even noticed when a grinning Morrow disappeared back onto the base, loudly whistling Hoagy Carmichael's "Stardust" as he walked away.
And there, in the shadow of the military base, Fritz and Anna sat in his car and spoke of their feelings, renewing promises made years before, and repeating things said prior to years of division and estrangement.
They relived the past for a moment – the happy part – and realized they were even happier now then they had been before. Everything was more tender, more tried, and they were more secure in their knowledge of each other. And their love.
As they returned to the present, heedless of the changing of the guards at the gate, they finally spoke of the events that had brought them to this moment. All their actions of the past week were given a retrospective.
Yes, Fritz had been jealous of Wilhelm. He could not go anywhere in Heidelberg, he said, without hearing of the man's attachment to his cousin. It had been further exacerbated at the concert, and his jealousy had colored everything he had said and done, or not said or done, in the past twenty four hours. Then he had been buoyed by her encouragement, finally convinced of her feelings after listening to her conversation with Hartwig. That had inspired the letter.
"I cannot forget seeing you at the concert," he said at one point, when the subject returned to jealousy, and she had admitted hers. "Surrounded by those who would not be happy I was present, to see your cousin fawning over you, knowing everyone in this town considers you two an item. I must have looked like a fool, I was in such agony. Even if you were indifferent to your cousin, I was sure the match had the support of everyone whose opinion you valued."
She knew he meant Freya, who had once had such considerable influence over her, and she sought to lay that fear to rest. "I am so different now, and will not yield to such persuasion again. At the time, I thought it was from duty, but I know now it was duty wrongly placed."
"I should have figured that out at the time, but I was too angry, too hurt. I could only think of the rejection, and how easily you had been influenced. I did not realize when we met again that you had moved beyond that."
"And did not my manner towards you convince you of that?" she wondered.
"I thought your manner was that of a woman confident in her engagement," he admitted. "And yet I was determined to see you again."
They realized the time at that point, and Fritz started the car. When Anna was home, she was so happy, she was sure she glowed brighter than an electric bulb. The party was in full swing, the company mixed, consisting of those who had never met before and those too familiar with each other. She avoided Cousin Wilhelm, said pleasant hellos to the countess and her daughter, ignored Gertrude Lehm and found nothing overly obnoxious in her father and sister, for the moment. She felt perfectly at ease with the Waldungs, who all expressed pleasure at seeing her, and a conversation with Freya was cut mercifully short. The Kraffts she looked at with new eyes, seeing them as her future family. She found them lacking in nothing. Her hope was that she and Fritz, after many years of marriage, would still be as attached to each other as the Kraffts appeared to be – the closeness of their relationship, and their affectionate and respectful way of dealing with each other were surely goals to aspire to in her own marriage Anna thought.
And then there was an alone moment in the tiny kitchen area with Fritz. She poured them both cups of coffee and paused for a moment of reflection.
"I have been thinking about the past and trying to impartially judge the right and wrong of it in regards to my decisions then," said Anna. "I think I was right, even though I suffered, in being guided by a friend whom I know you will come to love better than you do now. She is like a mother to me. Oh, she can be wrong, and I would never presume to give anyone the same advice as she gave me, but I was right in submitting to her wishes. I could not have lived with myself had I not listened to her at the time. But now…" She smiled. "There are no regrets now, and a strong sense of duty is not such a bad thing for a woman to have, after all. What do you think?"
Fritz looked at her, glanced into the gaming area at Freya von Raetter, and back again to Anna.
"I am certain she will be forgiven in time, perhaps even sooner than I imagine. I've been thinking a lot about the past lately, too, and I have to know. When I returned home after the war, if I had found you and called on you then, would you have received me? Would you have renewed our engagement?"
"Oh, yes!" Anna breathed.
"Good God! I believe you would have! I thought about it a lot, but my pride got in the way. Remembering this moment ought to make me forgive everyone else sooner than myself. We might have been spared so much suffering, three years of separation, if only I'd been able to swallow my pride for once and approach you! What a damned fool I've been!" He let out a sigh. "I suppose now I must learn to be happier than I deserve."
They smiled at each other in perfect charity and understanding. After a short pause, Fritz continued, "There's a lot we must talk over."
"There is," Anna agreed.
"What I'd like to do is take you away from here this moment, but it might cause some comment," Fritz said.
Anna laughed. "You bet!"
"You don't look particularly concerned."
"That's because I'm not."
"Shall I just tell the assembled company then that we'll be off for an hour or two to discuss the particulars of our impending marriage?"
"I think it is too early for that, but if you tell them that you are going to take me for a walk one or two people will be able to make an educated guess as to what that means," said Anna, smiling.
"They'll become quite anxious for your virtue," Fritz pointed out.
"Or yours."
"Very well then, if you don't mind people believing that you've lured me outside to have your wicked way with me I don't either." He grinned.
"It is about time I had my wicked way with someone," Anna retorted, surprised at her own forwardness.
"Good girl! I like your way of thinking! – I'll get your coat."
It had to be Elsa, of course, who spoilt the moment – though not for long – by demanding, "Where do you think you're going?"
"Anna is feeling unwell," Fritz answered for her, and there was more than a hint of steel in his voice. "She needs fresh air, so I'm taking her for a walk. We won't be long."
"Why yes, the poor girl does look rather flushed," Frau Krafft said. "I hope you're not falling ill, Fräulein Anna!"
"No … no, it's nothing," Anna assured her. "It's only a slight headache; nothing that a breath of fresh air won't cure."
"You'll take good care of her, Fritz, I know," Frau Krafft said and added, in a whisper, "Enjoy yourselves. But not too much."
Anna reddened, which made Frau Waldung remark that poor Anna did look as if she was on the point of falling ill, and suggested she'd better go to bed. Anna slipped into the coat that Fritz was holding out for her, and almost fled from the flat.
"My dear sister," Fritz said as they walked down the stairs. "Outrageous as usual."
"This must be a family trait," Anna said, starting to laugh. "I love your sister, Fritz."
"Do you? I must admit so do I, though on occasion I feel like strangling her."
"I believe your sister and brother-in-law won't be surprised when we tell them we're going to be married," Anna remarked.
"No; Sophie will have worked it out by now. Besides I suspect she'll have had word from Eduard, and no doubt he will have told her that I was pining for you during my entire stay in Travemünde."
"Pining? For me?"
"But naturally. You see, it was like this – I'd realized that Luise had every right to expect a proposal from me, and I didn't know what to do, so I decided to give both myself and Luise some time to think it over – and went to visit my brother in Travemünde. I told him all about what happened, and what a scold he gave me! He was perfectly right, too. The problem is that he's so happy with his wife; they're the picture of domestic bliss, which didn't improve my state of mind in the least."
"Poor dear," Anna said, and kissed his cheek.
He slipped his arm round her shoulder and pulled her closer to him.
"You know," he said after a few moments, "I never bought into this idea of Romantic Heidelberg; until now that is. From now on it'll have a special place in my heart, no matter where we'll end up. It's the town where I found you again, after all. Can it get any more romantic than this?"
There were tears in Anna's eyes, and so she refrained from saying anything. Fritz noticed nevertheless, and said, with a rueful grin, "And now I've made you cry."
"Happy tears, Fritz."
"But tears all the same," he said. "Let's move on to practical matters – when can we be married, do you think?"
"I don't know – I'll have to hand in my notice at the base, but I don't think it will take them long to find replacement for me. Heidelberg is full of people in want of a steady job. How long will it take the registry office* to take care of the paperwork?"
"That depends on whether you managed to take your papers along when you left Kaehlau or you didn't," Fritz said.
"Oh, I took them along alright. I'd sewn them into my winter coat several weeks before we had to run because I feared I might forget to take them otherwise."
"That's my Anna. Always keeping a cool head in a crisis."
"If I hadn't I wouldn't be here," Anna said. Not wishing to dwell on the topic she continued, "I suppose they won't give us any trouble at the registry office then. How about getting married in a month?"
"That's fine with me," Fritz said. "In a month it will be then. – I think we ought to go back or my sister will draw her own conclusions and she's not above sharing them with all and sundry." He kissed her. "There are some things we still need to settle, but there's enough time for that tomorrow. I'll pick you up at the base after work and then we'll tell your family, shall we?"
Anna nodded.
* In Germany a legally binding marriage ceremony has to take place at a registry office. A church wedding is optional.
Posted on: 2011-03-19
Anna worked the day shift the next day, and spent most of it in some kind of haze. Luckily it was a quiet day and there was not much to do; so Anna took to cleaning out the shelves behind the bar in between serving customers. That kind of work did not require much in terms of alertness; it kept her busy and gave her time for her own thoughts.
Fritz had been right. There was much they had yet to settle. She'd have to hand in her notice, of course. Married women did not work as barmaids. Even if they did Anna was almost certain that Fritz would not approve of her doing so. It did not bother Anna to have to give up her job; she'd never been really happy with it in the first place, but she'd earned enough to support her family, so that had been alright.
This reminded her of another problem. What was her family going to live on once she was gone? Anna did not expect Fritz to provide for them; it would be too much to ask of him and although she suspected he'd do it if she asked him for it she was not going to ask him. Yet she knew that her father was not going to look for a job for himself – it was not only that he felt it was below his dignity to work for anyone but himself. To say the truth there was not much he could do. He'd been an officer during the First World War, had sustained a wound and retired afterwards. He'd left the management of the Kaehlau estate to his agent, and apart from acting the part of feudal lord in Kaehlau he'd done no work whatsoever. Even if, by some miracle, he succeeded in getting a job Anna doubted he'd keep it for long. Elsa, now, might be able to find and keep a job if she put her mind to it, but unlike Anna she'd never even thought of working.
Then there was Lotte Schmidt.
Anna had it in her mind that she should help Lotte purchase a ticket to Israel, since it had been a family member who had prevented her from leaving Germany in the first place. Herr Schmidt's death was still on Cousin Wilhelm's head, as far as she was concerned, but there was something she could do to help her friend. And she had access to a lot of generous Americans who would be more than happy to help her reach her goal.
Having gained a world of confidence knowing that Fritz loved her still, she dared request - and received - an appointment with Colonel Ogilvy.
"Anyone bothering you lately, fraulein?" he asked as soon as she sat down on the straight wooden chair facing his desk.
"No, sir, but thank you for asking. I am here to give my notice, and I have a request to make, if you please. I am to be married soon."
The colonel extended his congratulations and they made arrangements for her to work a few more weeks.
"Also, I..." She outlined Lotte's plight - minus Wilhelm's involvement - and asked permission to put out jar with a sign on it asking for donations. The jar would be placed in the officer's club only, she explained, and the colonel agreed that a collection could be made for Frau Schmidt.
Anna's thanks was profuse and she felt only slightly guilty that she had played up the story of a Jewish widow, a camp survivor, needing funds to reach her promised land.
After Anna went back to work, the colonel told his secretary the entire story, and by early evening there was a second jar half full on the bar.
Lt. Morrow came in for a beer and made a big show of emptying some bills and a lot of coin out of his khaki uniform pockets into the jar.
"Is it true your friend was in one of those camps for years and barely made it out alive? That she still might kick the bucket any moment?" He had seen photos of people they had liberated and most of them looked already dead.
Anna rolled her eyes. "I won't discount any of Lotte's time in there, but she is hardly on her death bed. Still, she might have a better chance of survival if she is in a better place."
"This is from the motor pool," he said as a wad of bills appeared from another one of his pockets and was thrown into the jar.
"But the enlisted men..." she protested. That had not been part of the arrangement. They made so much less than the officers.
"Are just as willing to contribute."
She had tears in her eyes as she realized these men were not only donating traveling money, but funds to live on once Lotte arrived in Israel.
"Tell them I said thank you."
"I will, if you tell me how it went last night with your tall, good-looking German," he teased.
Anna beamed. "He loves me! He wants to marry me!"
"Of course he does! Wingendorff is no fool."
"Wing... How do you know his name?"
Morrow laughed. "I know a lot of things, Miss Anna. You might want to ask him some day how we met at Lake Constance."
"What?"
"I would tell you myself, but it's time for you to go home. Say hello to your fiance for me."
"I..." She glanced at the clock and tore off her apron. "I imagine he will be waiting." And she could not wait to see him.
"I imagine he is," Morrow agreed with an indulgent smile. He was still smiling later when Capt. Johnson came in.
"What are you so happy about?" he demanded of Morrow.
The lieutenant watched as Johnson looked about, saw no one observing them and stuffed a wad of bills in the collection jar on the bar.
"I have good news. Great news, actually. Anna has become engaged."
"What?"
Morrow had the extreme satisfaction of watching Johnson's sharp eyes bulge out of his head.
"When did this happen?"
"Last night, I believe."
"It's not you, unless you plan on becoming a bigamist. No, it has to be one of the other fellows. Handlin? Abrahams?"
"Not one of us. Big German fellow." Morrow used his hands to show shape and size. Fritz gained several inches everywhere in the process, but Morrow got his point across.
"Why?"
"Because she's German, too?" he speculated. "And because she loves him."
"But I never had a chance!"
Morrow made a rude sound in the back of his throat. "A shame," was all he said. Johnson did outrank him, after all.
"You know what this means, don't you?" he asked when the captain was quiet for a moment.
"What?"
"This means you had better not even speak to her. This guy is big, and he's former naval officer."
"Bull!" Johnson turned white.
"No bull! I'll show him to you, if you like. Anna has a few more weeks of work and I'm sure he'll be providing her transportation from here on out."
Johnson said a few choice words and asked Hermann, who was manning the bar, for a beer. "Big, huh?"
"You know how they grow 'em around here."
"Navy?"
"Captain," Morrow agreed. "Not that I don't think Navy is better than Army, but c'mon. Those torpedo boat captains have nerves of steel."
"Well, hell."
Morrow signaled for a refill of his own beer and smiled to himself. "Yeah."
There was a pause. "Jealous, too," Morrow remarked. "Was ready to murder me just for escorting Anna home the other night. He couldn't, at that moment, because Anna was with me but boy if he'd caught me alone in a dark alley he'd have broken every bone in my body!"
"I thought you said he's no fool? He'd have ended up in prison for assaulting an American officer." Johnson sneered.
"He doesn't look as if he gave a damn for that."
Deciding he'd struck enough horror into Johnson's heart for the moment, Morrow then changed the topic.
Fritz was already waiting outside the gate when Anna left the base. He greeted her with a quick hug and a kiss, and said, "Ready to tackle your relatives, darling?"
"With you I'm ready to tackle anyone," Anna replied.
Fritz laughed. "I've already been tackled by my own family, by the way. When we got back home last night my sister wanted to know why I was grinning like a Cheshire cat, so I told her we're engaged. Needless to say she's delighted - and so is my brother-in-law. I'm to bring you to dinner tomorrow - if you can come that is."
"I wouldn't miss a dinner at the Kraffts' for the world!" Anna laughed. "I told Colonel Ogilvy I was getting married, and handed in my notice. They want me to stay for another three weeks, until they have found someone else for the job. I hope you don't mind."
"You've been working there for years - a couple of weeks more won't do you any harm." Fritz said, opening the door of his car and helping Anna to get into the passenger seat. "Speaking of jobs, I've had an offer from my old boss in Lübeck. I said I'd think about it, but it's for you to decide really. It would mean moving away from here, you know, and I wasn't sure you would like that. I'd earn a lot more than in my present job though, and we'd get a flat of our own at a ridiculously low rent."
"Oh, I would like that!" Anna sighed. Considering that most German cities were still in ruins, living space was scarce and it was by no means usual for a young married couple to have an entire flat to themselves.
"It's probably not a large one, but it'll be big enough for the two of us, and we'd be able to save some money that way, to build something bigger when we need it," Fritz continued. "But as I said, it's for you to decide. We won't starve if I keep my job in Mannheim; the salary is well enough. It'll only be more difficult for us to find a place to live. My sister has offered to take us in, but if I take her up on that offer it will only be a temporary solution."
"I like the thought of going to Lübeck," Anna said as Fritz started the car.
"Even though this means you will be hundreds of miles away from your family?"
"In fact I think it will be easier for me that way - not knowing everything that happens here, and being too far distant to be expected to sort out their troubles for them. If I stayed here I'd still be their first port-of-call whenever anyone is in trouble, and I'm not sure I would enjoy that. Besides they'd expect you to support them and I don't think you should do that."
"Are you sure?" Fritz asked.
"Yes. I'm sure," Anna replied.
"It's to Lübeck we go, then."
"You want to marry Anna?" Walther von Eltow was thunderstruck. He'd never expected that Anna, the one of his daughters with the least to offer in the looks department, should catch herself such a prize as Fritz Wingendorff. He conveniently forgot that he'd objected to the match eight years previously; his opinion of Wingendorff had miraculously improved since he'd become aware that the man had a well-paid job and drove a Mercedes.
"If you don't object," Fritz said politely, and added, after a moment, "To say the truth, even if you do object. I'm not asking for your consent; Anna is no longer a minor and old enough to know her own mind. I'm merely informing you of the decision the two of us have made."
Herr von Eltow was not used to being spoken to in such a tone, but although he felt like protesting he did not. There was a look in Wingendorff's eyes he did not quite like; and a man announcing his decision to marry a woman even in the face of her father's opposition was equal to anything.
"You're welcome to her," Herr von Eltow merely said, and that was it. There was no word of congratulation, either from Anna's father nor her sister Elsa. Frau von Raetter did offer her felicitations, but it was obvious that she was not very happy about Anna's choice either.
The news of Anna's engagement reached Cousin Wilhelm rather unexpectedly, and he left town in a hurry, taking Frau Lehm with him. The Eltows discovered that they had been having an affair for a while; even when Wilhelm had done his best to win Anna's hand in marriage. That news was particularly painful to Frau von Raetter, who'd depended on Anna marrying Wilhelm, but in the light of this recent discovery even she admitted that Anna would be much better off with Fritz.
Of Anna's family, Maria was the only one feeling gratified with the announcement. To have a sister married to an affluent man was, after all, quite something; and if only his income should remain less than her husband's she would be well pleased with the match.
Anna and Fritz did not stay in Heidelberg for long. They remained for long enough to celebrate their wedding in style - with the Kraffts hosting a wedding reception in their house - but started their journey north on the very next day. They were to spend their honeymoon in Travemünde with Fritz' brother Eduard and his wife, and would move into their flat in Lübeck as soon as it was furnished. Anna was not sorry to leave Heidelberg; for although she had lived there for several years the place had never felt like home to her. Her home, up to this moment, had been Kaehlau. With Fritz, she hoped, she'd start a new life - and have a home again.