I also look at the difference in the cautions from Darcy and Elizabeth to their friends. In Darcy's case he is cautioning Bingley that he sees no sign in Jane that she is in love with him and Bingley takes it as exact truth not trusting his own conversations and encounters with Jane....while Elizabeth declares to Charlotte that engagement to Collins is 'impossible' and Charlotte has thought her case through and even though she is not in love with Collins she is intelligent enough to realize that while this may be an unsuitable marriage to others, it is the best for her and therefore acts on her own thoughts and feelings and respectfully rejects her friend's. Each (D&E) gave a friend their opinions and Bingley deferred to his friend.
And ultimately we have to look at Darcy and Elizabeth and their situations. Darcy just knew he couldn't marry Elizabeth because of her family and lack of connections, etc., and Elizabeth strongly disliked Darcy based on his arrogance and selfish disdain...but in the end they come to love each other in spite of their cautions to themselves and in Darcy's case, he remained the steadiest of all when compared to Bingley. He found out that Elizabeth disliked him yet he set about improving himself to win her over and he did.
I also think of the little conversation at Netherfield between Darcy, Bingley and Elizabeth concerning Bingley's impulsive nature:
“The indirect boast; for you are really proud of your defects in
writing, because you consider them as proceeding from a rapidity of
thought and carelessness of execution, which, if not estimable, you
think at least highly interesting. The power of doing anything with
quickness is always prized much by the possessor, and often without
any attention to the imperfection of the performance. When you
told Mrs. Bennet this morning that if you ever resolved upon quitting
Netherfield you should be gone in five minutes, you meant it to be a
sort of panegyric, of compliment to yourself—and yet what is there so
very laudable in a precipitance which must leave very necessary business
undone, and can be of no real advantage to yourself or anyone
else?”This shows a rather lackadasical attitude being easily led on the whim of the moment. Further in the conversation we see more.....
".....and if, as you were
mounting your horse, a friend were to say, ‘Bingley, you had better
stay till next week,’ you would probably do it, you would probably
not go—and at another word, might stay a month.”
“You have only proved by this,” cried Elizabeth, “that Mr. Bingley
did not do justice to his own disposition. You have shown him off now
much more than he did himself.”
“I am exceedingly gratified,” said Bingley, “by your converting
what my friend says into a compliment on the sweetness of my temper.
But I am afraid you are giving it a turn which that gentleman did by
no means intend; for he would certainly think better of me, if under
such a circumstance I were to give a flat denial, and ride off as fast as I
could.”On reading P&P I thought of Bingley as always being a follower and I hoped that Jane might be the making of him but I really doubted it in my heart. I think that's why I always like stories with Jane and the Colonel or maybe Jane with a stronger Bingley.
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Smile...it makes people wonder what you've been up to!
~author unknown~Keep your fork!