Mistress of the Seas

Chapter Sixteen

"When Julia arrives, could you tell her what happened to you, Aunt Julia?" Julian asked discreetly. "When you were at sea." They had all failed. Since he had not wanted to be too insistent, he had not spoken to the captain about it again and the young man had not asked anything, for which he was secretly glad. Although he was quite familiar with the topic, talking about it was an entirely different matter. Perhaps he did not want it to be known how familiar he was with that topic.

Aunt Julia did not blink for a moment. "Being at sea disagreed with me."

"You had to go ashore," he prompted.

"Indeed I did. I was quite ill." Still she did not blink, yet she had to be aware of what he was trying to ask her.

"You looked remarkably well when you arrived home." He remembered how she had arrived, telling them the sea had made her so ill, but looking better than she had done before she left.

"I had recovered a bit by then," she explained. "Some time on the land did wonders, even if it was no more than a day."

"I should really like you to explain to Julia why you really went ashore," he said patiently.

"I was quite ill," Aunt Julia maintained, equally patiently.

"With what?"

"Seasickness, as you well know."

"Then I should really like you to explain what happened a few months after your return."

She pretended to think for a moment. "The admiral returned."

"Do you not recall how surprised he was?" There was something the admiral had not known. The rest of them had discovered it some time before, but while their surprise had been great, it could still not rival the absolute amazement of the admiral's.

"Indeed, he was quite surprised at finding me in such good health, since I had felt so ill when I left him and he feared to find me at least half dead."

"And why were you in good health?" He was afraid she would soon become angry with him because of his insistence.

"Because I was off that ship, Julian." She gave him a reprimanding look.

He pressed his hands to his face in despair when she failed to give him the answer he wanted. "Was the admiral not more surprised by Frederick?"

"Indeed he was, since he had never seen him before." Now she smiled a little in recollection, for the admiral had indeed been speechless. She had not had a way of reaching him by mail before then.

"And he never knew he had got you with child when you left him."

She gave him a distasteful look for his sudden directness. "Julian, must we --"

"We must," he insisted. "I like it as little as you do, but she has no idea of her future."

"Sometimes that is not a bad thing." If she had known she could still bear children, she would never have gone to sea. She would have been waiting for them, expecting them, being careful, whereas now they had been unexpected gifts. Sometimes it was best to be surprised.

Julia travelled to the seaside a few days later with her mother and little sister. She had been so excited and she was so disappointed not to see the captain among those who greeted her. There was no time to ask anyone where he was, because there were the young Hensons to greet and they would be insulted if she ignored them.

Francesca, who saw Julia for the first time in a year, was suddenly shy. She had looked forward to this meeting and she was disappointed to find her friend so much altered. She clung to her mother's arm and studied the older girl with wide eyes.

"Do you not recognise me, Franny?" Julia asked.

Francesca shook her head. It looked like Julia, but this girl was as tall as Mama now and her figure was different. This was not what she remembered. "Not if you are getting married! You would never!" She spoke as if getting married was the end of a person's life.

"I am so sorry. I am." She could only smile.

"But you were my friend. Now you will want to be grown up and sit still and drink tea and talk about stupid things." Francesca pouted.

While Julia assured her that she would never talk about stupid things, her parents drew closer to each other. "Is he not here?" Clementine asked when she had greeted her husband affectionately.

"I think the subject of our last inquiries proved too much," Julian answered. "He gave a weak excuse about not wanting to change his address, but he looked so relieved at not having to stay that I almost felt I was a very bad man."

She chuckled. "Relieved? I should not laugh. The poor man is probably confused till his breaking point -- remember yourself, my dear -- and Julia continues to dismiss any references she does not understand. Julian, she told me she lost her senses for one to four hours when she found out she was no longer a girl. Lost her senses. What would she do if we told her about..."

"Go for it?" he said humorously, feeling too happy to be reunited with her to mind his words much.

"Julian!" she chided.

"I know, I know! I have asked my aunt for assistance, but she was disgusted with the question, so I do not know if she is going to help."

"Your aunt cannot feign ignorance of the matter," Clementine said archly, her eyes on Frederick and Francesca.

"Perhaps she found them on her doorstep, much like the captain's parents found him," he suggested.

"I hope he does not seriously believe that, for it might lead him to assume that not having a doorstep at sea means ... and so forth."

"After I married," said Aunt Julia conversationally when she had Julia alone for a moment. After having considered her nephew's request, she had decided she could at least gauge how much Julia knew about her future, what she expected and what she did not, and after that she could decide if there was any need to tell the girl anything. "I also went to sea with my admiral."

It was difficult to stick to a particular topic while speaking to Julia. "I know he has a name, Grandma, but do you ever use it?" Julia asked curiously. She felt she had now joined -- or almost joined -- the ranks of people who were entitled to ask such an impertinent question. "All you ever say is Admiral."

"It is very plain," Aunt Julia said disapprovingly.

"But more intimate, I should think."

"With a footman bearing the same name, it would not do to use it for intimate communications."

"If you have those," Julia said under her breath.

"I beg your pardon?" her grandmother asked sharply.

"I have never heard you communicate intimately with my grandfather."

Her grandmother ignored that very sensibly. She would not be distracted. "As I was saying, I also went to sea once, but it disagreed with me."

"It will not disagree with me. We have already been," Julia said readily. "I was never unwell."

"I daresay you are not quick to fall ill. However, any lady may have to give up her life to tend to her family, however much her life agrees with her."

Julia looked back with a look of perfect unconcern. "He will be my family and I shall tend to him."

"I found," said Aunt Julia, "that I could not go back to sea because Frederick came unexpectedly."

"But you must have been trying to have him and as such it could not have been entirely unexpected," she said, applying all of her knowledge to the matter. "Unmarried ladies are never thus surprised. I know where the blame lies. I shall simply tell my husband not to try, since it would not be wise at sea."

Such reasoning was unheard of. "Not to try!" Aunt Julia stammered in astonishment.

"I am sure he would agree that they might fall overboard." Julia imagined small boys crawling everywhere. No, Mac could not think that practical. "Because he is a very practical person."

"B-B-But it is your duty!"

What was? "To be impractical?"

"Oh, foolish girl!" said her grandmother, getting up in distress. "I cannot speak to you."

"Admiral! You will never guess what that foolish girl got into her head!" she exclaimed, still distressed.

"Indeed. Tell me," he said with mild curiosity. "Which foolish girl are speaking of?"

"Julia!" She could barely say it. "She will tell her husband not to try! She considers it impractical! Her duties! Children might fall overboard!"

To her consternation her husband roared with laughter. It took him some moments before he could speak. "She is absolutely right!" He roared again.

"Julian," said his aunt after she had recovered her outward composure. She dragged him out of the drawing room. "Julia does not think she will have any children. That would be impractical on board and she will tell her husband not to try and have them, and he will agree with her."

He stared back at her.

"The admiral thought it highly amusing," she complained.

"Well, we all know that the admiral did not think it impractical on board," he could not help but comment.

"Julian!" she said with an angry hiss.

"You would have been a great-grandmother before a year has passed, but the captain is the sort of fellow who will mind her wishes even against his better judgement. Ignorant and silly they are." He shook his head. "But I thank you for speaking to her. Perhaps my uncle is our last hope?"

"Oh no, he cannot be trusted. I forbid you to ask him to speak to Julia about this matter."

"Me?" the admiral asked innocently as he emerged from his study. "We shall settle that tonight, Julia. Let us join the family."

"We have sent him a note that you have arrived, Julia," said her father. "He is welcome to come and visit you, naturally. Tonight or tomorrow morning. You will be married tomorrow, so perhaps he wants to leave you to us for as long as possible."

Captain MacLeod did not come instantly, but he had the servant bring back a note for her, saying she must stay up until he came and not jump him.

"Hmph," Julia said uncertainly. "Why not?"

"Why not what?" the duke asked. He would really like to read that note. It seemed to be short, but very interesting.

Julia did not appear to consider the note a private communication she could not share. "But you must not jump me when I arrive," she read up. "Why not? Does he not like it?"

The admiral was the first to be able to speak. "All men like that, Julia. If you want to do it, do it." He was looking at the wrong Julia, however

Chapter Seventeen

"You are so fortunate," Aunt Julia said to the admiral, referring to the fact that Frederick was away doing boyish things with a friend and Francesca was out of the room to get something she wanted to show. She would not like him promoting such wanton behaviour in front of them. It was not something to do in public, at any rate, no matter how much he tried to encourage it.

"I could not agree more," the admiral replied with a smile. He would call himself an extremely fortunate man.

"But --" she spluttered. She had not been speaking of that. "Frederick and Francesca."

His smile widened. "I am very fortunate, like you said."

Julia was still dwelling on his words. "All men like that? Are you certain? He will not call off the wedding because I do it?"

"Unless you do it in public," he said as a concession to his wife. "He will not. And the rest of us will all understand, even your grandmother. But you must not see this as encouragement. If you know him well, you will know whether you can risk going against his wishes in this matter. Couples ought to know when their other half is not truly voicing a wish, but giving some answer prompted by a certain degree of shyness."

This earned him another sharp look from his wife. "Admiral, such greetings are for the young and foolish."

"I agree that the old and wise do something better," he replied calmly. "But Little Julia is young and foolish, so she might as well continue to do what she has apparently been doing, or he would not have written about it."

"Only once, really!" Little Julia cried. "Well, once with a jump. So you do not think he will call off the wedding?"

"Julia," said her father. "He wasted his chance to call off the wedding when he did not send you home from Lisbon."

Apparently someone had instructed the footman not to show the captain in when he arrived, but to ask young Lady Julia to step out. He followed his orders well.

"What did you do?" old Lady Julia inquired of her husband when she caught on that the girl was meeting the captain all alone in the hall.

"I made matters a little easier for the young people," he explained with a careless gesture. "Let them greet each other in private. They will be married tomorrow."

"You are wicked," Clementine said with a smile, thankful for his consideration. "Did you know that Aunt Julia once happened upon Julian and me talking in his dressing room? And she asked him where I was, even though she saw me, because she would not be able to talk about things she had not seen."

"Secretly," he whispered at her, "your aunt is quite sensible. Did you know about the time when she and I --" He stopped with half an eye on his wife. "I am inclined to think you do not know, because you were too engrossed by your husband at the time."

Aunt Julia moved nearer. Her hand descended imperatively on her husband's. "Admiral, I beg you not to share anecdotes of a private nature."

"Thereby she reveals that we have some," he said with a wink at Clementine. "Which you might otherwise have doubted."

"Oh, no!" she grinned. "I never once thought she married you for money or because we were boring her. I have always thought that older people might -- and would -- do as they pleased."

Julia had indeed flown into MacLeod's arms. He caught her with steady arms without staggering, glad there was nobody looking on. Although he would not go so far as to return the hug or keep her feet off the ground for too long, he did think it flattering and welcoming to be greeted in such a manner. "How have you been?" he asked, carefully lowering her.

"I missed you dreadfully!" she answered. "But I really tried to be good about it. I knew I would see you soon and then it would all be forgotten. Why were you delayed?"

"I had an appointment to see to something on board. I could not suddenly leave."

"On a Sunday?"

"I must, if I am getting married on Monday. There were still some things to see to before Tuesday. I do not know how long it takes to get married. Did you get my little note or did your father intercept it?" He had been jumped, even though he had written that she should not. It was good that he had never really believed she would heed his words.

"My father does not intercept notes. I did read it to him, though, because I wanted to know why I could not jump you and then my grandfather said all men liked it."

He laughed. "And so you did it."

The admiral appeared, thinking they had had time enough. "May I speak to your young man for a minute, Julia?"

"Not about the jumping, surely?" she asked in concern. "He does not appear to have suffered. I was very well-mannered about it."

"Yes, but how was he?" he winked. "Captain, if you please?"

"I understand everybody has been trying to speak to you or Julia about the wedding night and associated developments," the admiral smirked.

MacLeod looked uncomfortable. "I believe so, Admiral." He was unsettled to hear that they had apparently been telling each other about this. It was one thing for the duke and the duchess to communicate this to each other, but he was not pleased that they had informed the other relatives about this as well. He did not see any need for that. Just when he believed the duke was reassured enough to stop mentioning awkward subjects, it turned out that was only because he had enlisted the help of his uncle.

"I have had two wedding nights. I may be considered somewhat of an expert." He imparted this information cheerfully. "And although my second wife was a widow and one might suppose that to be unproblematic, a fellow may have to right all the wrongs of the first husband -- or the other way around."

"Oh Lord," the captain muttered. He was not in the mood for another talk or even for hearing the admiral's revelations.

"Yes, the wrongs. Frightening, is it not? I shall not be as delicate as those fools, who, as I understood, persisted in being vague in the hopes that you would know everything. Tell me how it will go."

"You cannot be serious." MacLeod was aghast. What was he to explain anyway?

"I am very serious."

MacLeod blushed. "I was not going to do anything." He was certainly not going to tell them anything.

"Intriguing." The admiral gave a sort of shrug. "Of course you do not have to. There can also be great fun in not doing anything or in doing everything wrong."

"Then why are you questioning me?"

"I am speaking on behalf of the child, who may think the North Pole is a bit cold."

"Which child? And I am not going to the North Pole." He was going a bit north, but not as far as that.

"The child that you may or may not know how to produce. That is really what everyone was going on about and we would not go on about this if you were not going to sea for several months. Lenton seemingly only has to look at his wife and she has another child, but that is all right because they are not at sea. You will be, however. If you and Julia are blessed or cursed with the same affliction..." He paused with a significant look. "Mind you, merely looking at your wife has no consequences. I was speaking figuratively."

"Is that the only thing everybody wants to know? Whether I know how one could have a child?" MacLeod was baffled.

"It has not occurred to Julia that she might be surprised. She thinks she may sail with you for years. We ... think not."

"I am sure I am capable of sorting that out with her if the need arises," the captain said stiffly. He did not understand why her entire family was interfering in this matter.

"Oh, I see. You were going to wait until Julia asked you -- or told you. Look here, young man. Would it be your fault if you were not perfectly well informed? Be wise and have this little talk with me now," the admiral said briskly. "Draw it on paper for all I care. It is hardly going to shock me."

An admiral's orders could not be disobeyed, yet it took some time before MacLeod had anything on paper. He roughly pushed the sheet towards the admiral and prepared to die.

"My spectacles," the admiral muttered, looking around his desk. "Where are those damned things? Where did that woman leave them? I should call my wife. Ah, no need -- here they are," he said with a wink at the look of alarm that had appeared on the captain's face. He put his spectacles on and studied the sheet, turning it in every direction. "These proportions..."

"Admiral!" MacLeod said pleadingly. "I am no artist."

"Clearly!" The admiral made a few modifications to the drawing and then pushed it back. "There. You seem to have a rudimentary grasp of the matter."

"Rudimentary?" the captain asked with a confused frown.

"I would not have needed to make any modifications otherwise," he pointed out and then snickered. "It would have saved everybody a lot of worries if they had asked you to draw this the moment you returned Julia."

"As if my word was not enough."

"In a matter such as this it never is. But," said the admiral, walking around the desk and slapping him on the shoulder. "You must not think the rest of us had perfect knowledge. Just when I had got used to having a wife on board with me, we had to separate because she was always seasick and she had to go ashore. If I had known she was with child it would have made the separation so much less painful. Therefore I am now very keen on warning you beforehand and of course Lenton cannot imagine why people do not have a dozen children..."

Chapter Eighteen

MacLeod was a little reassured by the conversation with the admiral. Although everybody in this family seemed to enjoy minding other people's business, he could see their interference sprang mostly from concern. Perhaps by now they ought to see that he was always concerned about Julia and that he could be trusted.

He was still not quite certain what Julia would think of it all, but he doubted that the admiral would be able to tell him that and he was really not eager to speak more about this business himself anyway. He concentrated on the admiral's story instead. "Why did you not know your wife was with child, Admiral?"

"Captain, you have an impatient young lady waiting for you outside this room. Go and spend some time with her instead of asking me about my experiences," Admiral Henson responded. He was not certain that his wife would appreciate any revelations. She was always quite particular about the image she presented and if he elaborated on his not having known, he might have to reveal that they had been doing something only for the fun of it. The captain must be left to his own devices in this puzzle.

Julia was indeed waiting outside -- although Francesca was with her now -- and she approached them instantly. "Were you very severe on him, Grandpa?" she asked, her concern clearly visible in her face.

"I sense you may be very severe on me if I say yes, so I shall say no," he said with a wink.

"That is teasing!" she cried. "I am sure you were!"

"Silly girl! Does he look as if I was?"

Julia studied MacLeod closely, taking both of his hands and peering into his face. "Was he?"

The admiral observed it. "If you want to have a private conversation, take the study. The rest of us will be in the drawing room, but we should not mind your company in the least."

"No!" cried Francesca. "I want Julia to sit with me. I do not care about him," she sniffed with a distrusting look at MacLeod. "He wants to turn Julia into a stupid creature who sits still talking only of boring things such as her boring husband."

His eyes widened. "I do?" That was possibly the last thing he wanted, a stupid creature who sat still and talked of boring things.

"That is what all married people do," Francesca said in dissatisfaction.

"Captain, I trust you will cut off any conversation that strays into the unacceptable. And Francesca, do you mean to say your mother talks only of her boring husband?" the admiral inquired of his daughter. "When you go to the drawing room, would you mind sending your mother to the study? Because that behaviour is really unacceptable. I need a serious word with her about that."

"Yes, Papa," she answered and grimaced when he turned his back. "See?" she whispered. "They are so boring with their serious words. Julia, you must not marry!"

"But I shall not be boring!" Julia assured her again.

"I shall have a serious word with her if she does that," MacLeod said to Francesca very earnestly. He wondered what sort of word the admiral wanted to have with his wife. It would be anything but serious. He did not mind that the study was now no longer available. That place would remind him of the business with the drawing and if he was alone with Julia he might feel some moral obligation to speak about it, which was not a good thing if he could not be sure of her reaction.

"Mama! Mama!" It took some time before Francesca managed to draw her mother's attention away from her conversation with Clementine. "Papa wants to have a serious word with you in his study."

"I am sure he does," her mother replied calmly and did not stir. "I am well acquainted with Papa and his serious words."

Francesca, having delivered her message, did not care about it anymore and she dragged Julia to a quiet corner, away from that man she was going to marry. Perhaps she believed she would be able to put an end to things that way.

MacLeod, feeling a little forlorn, sat down by the duke, although the latter was holding a bundle of white, presumably containing his youngest daughter. They spoke for a while about the ship and the voyage, about everything except the particulars of the marriage, much as they had done when they had travelled hither.

The ladies were discussing schools for their boys, who were the same age, and the sad business of parting with them, and the girls were whispering in a corner.

"Come, Franny," Julia urged after some time. "He is an agreeable man. Come and talk to him. You must be acquainted or else you could never come to visit me."

"Why could you not marry a boy, if you insist on marrying someone at all?" Francesca pouted. "Men are old."

"A boy? Someone as stupid as Jeremy or Frederick? Mac is not old and he is not stupid." She could not avoid some pride creeping into her voice. "He is very handsome and dashing and clever and I adore him."

"His name is Mac?" Francesca turned up her nose. As far as she knew that was not a name.

"No, it is not his name, but it is nice and short. Come and talk to him and ask him what we shall do on board to see for yourself whether any of it is boring." She pulled the younger girl with her to where the gentlemen were seated. "Papa, will you move away so we can talk to him?"

"If you will take your sister," he answered, thinking he might seek out the admiral, who had never come to inquire why his wife had not reported to him as soon as he had requested, but who must still be in his study all alone.

"Of course." Julia took the infant. "Sit on his other side, Franny. He is as harmless as a baby."

Francesca eyed MacLeod suspiciously, but she nevertheless sat down when he moved a little closer to Julia to make room for her. "How old are you, sir?" she asked.

"Almost twenty-eight," he answered, giving her his most harmless baby look. He thought she looked very much like Julia.

"Why are you not marrying an old woman of twenty-eight?"

He laughed at the question, especially at her idea that twenty-eight was old. "Because I do not know any."

Francesca decided he might be harmless if he laughed. "And what will Julia do on board? She told me to ask you."

MacLeod listed all the exciting things Julia could possibly do on board, even if he had forbidden some of them before. Julia wanted to ask him about this apparent change of heart, but then she remembered that Francesca did not know she had already been to sea. That had to remain a secret, she supposed.

She decided he was either trying impress Francesca so she would like him, or he was going to be less strict with her. The latter would be very agreeable. She manoeuvred the baby so that the cloths obscured the fact that she had laid her hand on his thigh, thinking she was extremely clever.

He gave her a look, but he said nothing.

"Captain," the duchess interrupted his conversation.

"Yes, Your Grace?" He could only assume she had somehow seen what Julia had done and that somehow it was not acceptable. He did not know why; he thought it was sweet and he was not going to remove her hand.

"I only wanted to remind you of the existence of the word no," the duchess said with an enigmatic smile.

"I had not forgotten its existence, Your Grace." He could use it when it needed to be used.

"But you were more reminded of the word yes?" she wondered, apparently finding his determined expression amusing, because she smiled and turned away.

MacLeod took the gentlemen's return from the study as a sign that he had to leave. It was late enough and some of them might want to go to bed soon. After agreeing on some last matters with the duke, he took his leave, receiving a polite little curtsey from Julia instead of a hug.

He thought about that as he walked back to the inn. They were all so afraid, but she could restrain herself if she liked. He thought she had begun to be a little more discerning about these matters. Perhaps she would never reach Lady Julia's level of restraint, but not many women would. Lady Julia never even smiled.

At least the duchess smiled when he least expected her too. He would have been quite capable of telling Julia to remove her hand if she had done it without the benefit of a cover -- which made him wonder how the duchess had been able to look through that cover. Perhaps she had known and smiled because it was something she would do herself. He pondered that. Yes, that made sense. And she was not certain if he liked it.

That led him to the business of the drawing. The admiral's modifications were a little more reassuring and enlightening, but some questions remained. He tugged at his collar and forbade himself to think about it. He was, after all, very good at pushing issues to the back of his mind. This too would become a matter that another person would decide and he knew her name would be Julia.

"Tomorrow at this hour I shall be a married woman," Julia said to her mother dreamily. They were sitting on her bed. Tomorrow she would be sleeping in another place, a cabin. "Shall I like it?"

"It is a bit late for that now," Clementine said dryly.

"I think I shall. He said he will not be any different. I have already been his fake wife."

"Yes," her mother said absentmindedly. She wondered if it made any difference to have a fake wife who had threatened him with a duke and an admiral, compared to a real wife who could make no such threats anymore. "Will you not order him about too much, Julia?"

"Me?" She was surprised. "Do I do that at all?"

"He does not appear to be very good at reining you in, dear. Will you at least allow him to have the appearance of being in charge? A man in charge must not appear weak, even if he loves you so much he will do every silly thing you say."

"He did not bring love into it when he explained that to me. He was very strict with me in company after he found me out. He did not even dare to laugh at my jokes at the dinner table, whereas all the other officers did. He would never have allowed me to hug him in front of them." Julia paused. "Does he love me?"

"He ought to tell you before he thinks of telling me. Perhaps he was afraid of what kind of hug you would subject him to if he told you. As far as I can tell he certainly does not dislike you, but he would not mention his feelings as easily as you do."

"I know. He asked how I could. I had to be honest, though, when he found me out, because I was not really incompetent, only a girl who was struck by his appearance. And then it only becomes easier. Especially for a fake wife who then gets to see him with every bit of the uniform removed bit by bit." She saw her mother's eyes widen and felt she had to make something clear. "He did not do that to impress me, Mama! He did it to get undressed."

Clementine stifled her laugh in the pillow. "Did he have to do that in front of you?"

Julia gave her a serious answer. "He considered stepping out to avoid my comments, but he feared the reaction of the other ladies on board. This was on the way back, when there were other ladies. On the other ship we did not share a cabin, so I did not see much."

"What sort of comments did you make?"

"Anything that occurred to me. He only rolled his eyes at the praise, not at the curious comments." She was certain that some had been ignorant, so she did not want to go into detail.

"Well, that is good," Clementine decided. "Now you do not have to learn how to tell your husband how you feel. You should always be able to make honest comments. Also about other things than his figure," she added as an afterthought.

Chapter Nineteen

Julia wanted to hold on to her betrothed's arm for as long as she could. Papa was not objecting to it, so she assumed it was allowed by both of them. It did make it a little difficult for MacLeod to drink his tea, but he still had his other arm for that.

"Are you happy?" she whispered when her father's attention was drawn away for a moment by her mother's return to the room. MacLeod's hand closed over hers, but he did not answer. Julia did not want to be so childish as to keep repeating her question. Not at the moment. Tonight, when they were alone, she would ask him again.

They had gone to the inn to meet up with him: Papa, Mama, the baby, the maid and she, because the baby had to be nursed as short before the ceremony as possible. Mama had used the captain's room for that -- it was not yet taken by someone else -- and the three of them had waited here downstairs with some tea, until Mama was finished and her grandparents would arrive.

"Excuse me for a second," MacLeod murmured to her, giving her hand a small squeeze.

She saw him walk towards the door, where another officer was just looking in. They exchanged a few words and MacLeod shook his head a few times. Then the other man glanced past him, towards her, and appeared to insist on an introduction. She was beckoned towards the door, a subtle indication that the other officer was not invited for a drink, in her opinion.

The man, introduced as Captain Carter, professed his delight in meeting her. Julia, hoping she was not too vain, believed he was quite taken with her appearance. She remembered he had been the one who was looking for a rich wife, ugly or not. Something in his eyes made her think he did not really like ugly wives, though.

She had taken special care with her dress today and it was flattering to see that somebody took note of it. Mac should have noticed. She did not know whether he had noticed it when he first saw her, but he seemed to see it now -- and more.

"I can see why you cannot come, Mac," Captain Carter said. He looked a little envious. "You will have more agreeable things to do. Perhaps we shall meet again in the coming weeks, Lady Julia."

His frank gaze made her a little uncomfortable and she did not know what to say in return. She only smiled politely, wondering why he hoped they would meet in the coming weeks. Why could he want to meet a girl he did not know, one who was engaged to a friend?

MacLeod escorted Carter out of the door. There was a frown on his face when he returned. "What did you think?" he asked abruptly, taking her aside.

"Did you notice something?" Her feelings of discomfort must be more apparent than she thought, as vague as they were.

"I did." Carter had shown a little too much appreciation for Julia. MacLeod wanted to know how perceptive she was.

"I do not know if you could trust him. He seems willing to..." She thought about a good way to describe it. "...overlook that you are going to be married."

He gripped her hands and there were hard lines around his mouth. "I cannot believe that of a friend." But he supposed he must, if Julia had the same impression based on only a brief greeting.

"Does he think I am staying in this inn until you come back?" Julia raised her eyebrows in a mixture of amusement and incredulity. She had relatives to stay with if indeed she was going to stay behind.

"I think Carter assumes that if we are merely engaged today, we shall be merely engaged tomorrow when I sail, so that I could never take you -- and that your being here is evidence of your willingness to associate with gentlemen to whom you are not married." He had not pointed out to Carter that the duke and the duchess were sitting in the corner of the room, because he had wanted to make the conversation as short as civility allowed. Carter might now think Julia was here all by herself.

"In which case I would not have hesitated to sail with you," Julia said with a heightened colour. "But is this what everybody was always going on about?" she asked more softly. "If I were to stay he would test my willingness?"

"He might. Others would." Not all of them could be trusted. The word might spread quickly enough. It was just the sort of entertainment for a bored man ashore, chasing a pretty heiress who was willing to be chased.

"I am very sorry," she whispered. "It was foolish of me not to see."

He shrugged, but he still looked angry.

Julia did not think he was angry with her, but she could not be certain. "Alexander?" she said in a low voice when he kept looking over her head angrily. There was something she could do about that.

"I have never cared much whom they seduced, but -- what did you say? You have never used my name before." He looked down now.

"May I kiss you?" she asked, the expression in her eyes warm and encouraging. She could make it right.

He was astonished. "What did you say?"

"Alexander, may I kiss you?" she repeated. He had not said no and she was certain that he had heard her. If he had not said no yet, he would say yes.

"Why? Here?" His eyes darted towards the other side of the room where her parents were sitting. There were also strangers in the room. It was impossible. It was also intriguing, being asked by Julia if she could kiss him. Julia, who asked before she acted.

"We can step out of the room for a minute, can we not? We are about to be married. We are expected to have private conversations." She pulled at his hand, looking a little more mischievous now. He wanted only a little persuasion and encouragement.

MacLeod allowed himself to be pulled from the room, catching a conspiratorial smile from the duchess and a frown from the duke. He felt himself go red. "Julia," he said as soon as she closed the door behind him and they were in an empty passage. "They know."

She did not care who knew what and reached up to pull his face towards her. She pressed a soft kiss on his lips. "There. Now do not be angry anymore." Then she took a step back and looked at the door. "You said -- ah, you were right."

Her father opened it and glanced out, measuring the distance between them. Although it was sufficient, he did not trust it. The facial expressions on either side were a bit revealing. "You are not at home, Julia."

"At home I would not have left the room," she said in a proud voice. "I do know about other people and things."

"Captain," said the duke. He could see the captain looked a little stunned. "Did this make you reconsider your plan to take her with you or was it the opposite?"

It was Julia who answered. "Do not be so teasing, Papa."

"Do not give me any occasion for it. We set off in ten minutes." He retreated into the room.

"I love my father," said Julia with far too much enthusiasm. "Ten minutes!"

"I really do not want to know what you could do in ten minutes," said MacLeod warily, although perhaps he was more wary of other people happening upon them than of finding out what Julia could do. That was all artless affection.

"I do not know that yet either. It all depends on you." She wrapped her arms around him. "Did you like the kiss?"

"I must, I think." He wondered if the resistance he still felt would be gone after the wedding, or if it had more to do with fear. If they had been elsewhere he might have said he had indeed liked the kiss, although there was no telling what Julia would do then. Give him another one, he presumed, but there was definitely a limit to his self-control. If he could think he might have said he liked the kiss, he was already giving in.

"No, you do not have to, but it would make me happier. You do not look angry anymore," she said, touching his face. "It worked."

He pulled her head against his shoulder. It did not feel strange. Perhaps it had happened before, but this was the first time he had done so consciously. "I was not angry with you. Why would it make you happier?" He supposed that seeing one's feelings returned and acknowledged would make anyone happier than the opposite.

"Because."

MacLeod found himself quite enjoying the sensation of holding her. "How do you know my name?"

"Oh, do not be silly," Julia said in a contented voice. "They told me when I enlisted, Captain Alexander MacLeod."

"How come they did not see you were a girl?"

"I never blushed or behaved foolishly with them," she explained. "They were not dashing people."

"I do not think of myself as particularly dashing," he said with caution. "Perhaps you should take care not to inflate my head."

"Your uniform," Julia sighed, pressing herself against it.

"If it is merely the uniform, any man wearing it would be dashing and you would be swooning all over this town -- and you do not seem to be that silly."

"No," she replied. "You are right. You have a very good figure -- and a good character."

"But my character is but a very tiny part of my attractiveness," he nodded. "Given that you are mentioning it as an afterthought."

"No, no, you can read it in someone's face, too." She turned her head when the door was opened. "That is not ten minutes, Mama!" She pinned MacLeod against the wall when he was threatening to let her go.

The duchess smiled. "Almost. Your grandmother has arrived. You had best come before Francesca comes this way in search of you and screams her head off. Aunt Julia assured me that Francesca has never seen such a thing," she said to MacLeod by way of explanation. "And Julia..."

"Yes, Mama?"

"Do not push him through the wall. It is not necessary."

"But Mama!" He had dropped his arms as soon as her mother had appeared. Julia was rather put out by that.

Her mother eyed both of them thoughtfully. "Do you know what Papa thought when I demanded a proper kiss just after we were married?"

"You demanded one, Mama?" Julia looked delighted.

"Your Grace," MacLeod said weakly, not thanking the duchess for this scandalous revelation. "Now she will too."

"He thought he had given me an improper kiss!" The duchess now looked delighted as well. "I felt very much like pushing him through the wall too when he offered to be more restrained. Do not look so frightened, Captain. We do not always like restraint."

"Go in, Julia," he said, giving her a gentle push. "I want to ask your mother something." Something had just occurred to him.

Amazingly, she obeyed.

"Er..." he began. "I keep seeing similarities between you and Julia. Do you not also kiss His Grace to cheer him up?" He spoke cautiously, not certain of her reaction to this question. It was rather impertinent, he supposed, but he could explain himself if she wanted.

She looked amazed for a second. "Now you have me wondering where and when he needed to be cheered up. I assure you it is rare. Before Julia ran away he was certainly always in good spirits. Her adventures have caused him some trying times, but yes, that is what I do and it works. Did it not work for you?"

"I think it did," he confessed with a blush. "I was not completely sure why she did it, but I supposed it was much the same as what I happened to see you do once when I was being unmannered. My apologies. It did not know it was going to happen."

"Some people would think what I was doing was far more unmannered than your seeing it, I am sure," she said with a laugh. "There is no need to apologise. It does not embarrass me in the least that I was caught doing such an unmannered thing, Captain. Its felicitous effects outweigh that."

"Were you very much like Julia when you were younger?" he asked.

"I had no desire to see the world at sixteen, but if I had gone, I would probably have got myself into worse trouble. I was not as overbearing. You should not worry. She may already be wiser right now than I was at twenty-three. Come." The duchess led him back into the room where the admiral and Aunt Julia had arrived with their children.

The ceremony did not even deserve that word. Julia paid better attention to what was being said than the captain, who frequently found himself glancing around. He kept his back towards the others when he pressed a perfunctory kiss on her lips, but Julia was satisfied with it. The warmth in his gaze invited further study, but not here. She was wise enough to save it for later. For the moment she revelled in being a married woman and accepting everybody's congratulations.

Francesca, who had seen the wedding take place before her eyes with no apparent change in Julia whatsoever, began to feel a little more reconciled to Julia as a married woman. "I cannot believe he kissed you there, though!" she whispered in disgust. "Mama put her hand before my eyes, but I could see through her fingers."

That caused the already high-spirited Julia to break into unstoppable giggles. She had to lean against a wall for support.

"Julia, you are married now," her grandmother said sternly. "Behave yourself."

"Grandma, Grandma!" Julia choked, taking her arm and proceeding in a hysterical whisper. "When you put your hand over Franny's eyes you should close your fingers!"

Admiral Henson released his wife's arm and joined MacLeod. "Silly girls," he remarked.

"Who?" the captain was puzzled.

"All of them. I was almost tempted to have a serious word with my wife, but she would very much dislike to be seen having a serious word with me in public."

"But she is not being silly, is she?" Although he could not hear what they were saying, he could not see any evidence of silliness in Lady Julia, at any rate. His own Julia was the one who was giggling.

"A matter of opinion, Captain. But this is a happy day. Perhaps I should not care." He strode towards his wife. "You are a silly girl, preventing Franny from seeing that half-baked attempt. Let us show her how it is properly done."

Lady Julia's response was to dash back into the church, with her husband in hot pursuit.

"Where are they going?" Francesca exclaimed.

"Your father said he wanted to have a serious word with her," MacLeod reported. He was not familiar enough with them to wonder.

"I believe he is the least trustworthy when he mentions the word serious," said the duke. "I think we had best leave them to their ... er..."

"Oh, their what, Julian?" the duchess asked with a grin. "To what is your imperturbable Aunt Julia being submitted?"

"I have no idea."

Aunt Julia appeared again shortly, slightly out of breath. She hid herself behind her nephew.

"Step aside," said the admiral. "I just chased your aunt around the church, but she would not be caught."

"Do not involve me," said the duke, who felt caught in the middle, especially since his aunt appeared to be holding on to his coat.

"Julia, dearest ... did you know that words could be worse than actions? I could for instance tell everybody that I love --"

She pushed her nephew aside and laid her hand over the admiral's mouth.

Chapter Twenty

Whatever Aunt Julia said to the admiral could only be overheard by the duke, whose eyes widened slowly in astonishment, and the captain, to whom this happened even more quickly. The admiral, however, did not appear surprised. He only listened with great attentiveness.

The duke prodded the captain in the side and gestured they should join their ladies. They should move away a little to be out of the way. His aunt would prefer that.

"What did Papa do wrong?" Francesca whispered to Frederick in concern, but she did not await an answer. Her brother did not appear to have noticed anything anyway. She walked over and asked her mother the same question, ready to defend Papa if necessary.

"Nothing, Franny, nothing." She sighed and laid an arm around her daughter's shoulders. "Will you go back inside with us for a moment?"

They went back inside and Frederick followed them curiously. The duke cleared his throat. "Why do we not slowly start walking?" he suggested. "They will catch up with us. If not, we know where they live."

"What did you hear, Mac?" Julia inquired as they began to walk away, keeping enough distance between them and her parents not to be overheard.

He decided to relate only the part that had referred to them. "That I did not kiss you properly." That was what he had deduced from Lady Julia's reaction, at any rate.

She gasped. "My grandmother said that?"

"No, your grandfather did and she was reacting to it." He was strengthened by having been told by the duchess that the duke had apparently not acquitted himself right after his wedding as impressively as she would have wished either. That placed him in good company if it was indeed true. Julia, at least, had not said anything about it, so she was better than her mother.

"I would never have said such a thing! I know there were far too many other people looking on!" Julia said with some indignation. She knew he did not like that.

"But did you have any comments? Was it a half-baked attempt?" Perhaps he was more interested than he wished to reveal. He would not like to hear it had been disagreeable or insufficient.

"What were you attempting?" she asked archly.

He coloured. "To ... er ... convey ... er ... something."

"Well, you did." She patted his hand.

"Oh, to be lectured on how to kiss by a seventeen-year old!" he exclaimed in a low voice, wanting to laugh.

"By your wife!" she corrected teasingly. "Who really knows nothing about it, except perhaps how she would like it done."

"Like!"

"I can do what my mother does."

"I was afraid of that," he said with a sigh. "But I suppose it need not be very distressing." He glanced ahead, where Julia's parents were walking, their arms closely linked and engaged in a similar sort of agreeable conversation by the looks of it.

"We shall see you later," said her mother, kissing Julia when they had reached the point where they were to part ways. None of the Hensons had caught up with them yet. "You will need to make a little room for yourself on the ship before dinner. Take your time to settle in now and not after dinner when it will be dark."

They had agreed on this course of action long before, so the goodbyes were short, not yet being final, and they set off on their walk towards the ship. "All alone," Julia said with a sigh.

"Almost," he said with an eye on all the people in the street. But yes, the relatives were gone.

"Can they see that I am married now?" she wondered. There was no difference in her dress or person, perhaps only in her attitude. She would like to appear married now and not as some young relative of MacLeod's.

He held her at arm's length and studied her. "Hmm. Yes, I think so."

"Why? How?" she cried, very excited.

"I detect a sort of smug satisfaction at finally having obtained what you wanted."

"You do not look very sad, Captain!" she shot back.

"Not very," he agreed. "Who was this who said I gave up my last chance to get out when I did not send you off from Lisbon? I sometimes have trouble remembering which of them said what, all of them taking such a deep interest in your affairs."

"I did not want to marry you at Lisbon!" Julia protested.

"For all the time you spent in my company it would not have made any difference if you had." As he spoke he thought he might be wrong. He might never have subjected a wife to so many lessons and chores, from which, he flattered himself, she had learnt a great deal.

She giggled. "Perhaps I would have begged to be sent home if you had!"

"She says now!" he exclaimed with wide eyes.

Julia was proud of her handsome captain. Many people looked at them, she noticed, and some saluted when they went on board. Some were introduced to her, but she forgot their names and ranks instantly. The new surroundings were far more interesting.

Her new husband took her into his cabin to escape everybody's curiosity. He had told some he would bring a wife, but still they must stare. It was always interesting to see what sort of women were brought on board, he supposed. He had heard awful stories, but fortunately he had never seen any except for some officers' wives -- and Julia.

He gestured around. "This will be your new home in the next few months. Do you want to unpack? Your things have been delivered. Mine seem to have been put away already. It will be interesting to see where -- and how much room was left for your clothes. I told him to leave some." And the man had then sighed that ladies always brought too much, but Julia was a sensible girl who had not.

It was a smaller ship and thus a slightly smaller cabin. Julia explored the captain's cabin and the sleeping quarters behind it. "Oh!" she exclaimed.

"Has the bed not been made?" MacLeod came to stand behind her to see what excited her.

"There is but one bed and not very big. Is this for you alone or am I supposed to share it?" She imagined that.

"You sound excited."

"Should I be abhorred?"

"If you wish I could order separate hammocks." He spoke teasingly, certain she was not going to want it. She had sounded a little too pleased for that.

"No! We shall be very snug and cosy."

"I -- something just occurred to me. Such a silly little ceremony makes all the difference in whether you are allowed to think it snug and cosy." He placed his hand over her mouth in case she was going to protest against his idea of the ceremony.

Julia waited patiently until he removed his hand. "You are allowed to think it too. You will now not have to hang upside down to talk to me. Oh!" she exclaimed with a jolt when he placed his hand somewhere else. She pushed it away instinctively.

He had rested his hand there completely by accident and he was mortified to find out where. "I am sorry. I did not look," he said hastily, feeling a deep blush spreading over his cheeks. He stepped back. "Forgive me."

Julia turned around. "Oh! I did not mean to push you away. It simply ... happened. Like ... dropping the bucket. It did not hurt. Mama told me to be honest." She lowered her gaze and intently removed some dust from her gown. "I did not know what she meant, but I think I do now."

"Tell me." He wanted to hear it had not been anything reproachable.

She took in a deep breath. "Er ... well ... I do not think she would now want me to blush and be modest and behave as if it was unpleasant, and say Captain, that came quite close to being my chest, you rake! When it was merely odd."

"Odd," he repeated, feeling somewhat relieved that it had apparently not been unpleasant. "Is that a positive or a negative sort of odd?"

She shrugged. "A new sort of odd. I think I should trust in what Mama did not say -- unless it really hurt your hand to have it there."

"It was less than a second; it only hurt my conscience. What did your Mama not say?" While the duchess was undoubtedly a very sensible and affectionate woman, he did not know whether she was the best authority on propriety and morality. He was tempted to think love was more important to her than propriety and as such she would encourage any gestures and touches that sprang from certain feelings.

"You know how when you go away mothers always give you huge lists of what not to do and what not to allow, but in this case I am apparently allowed to do what I like and you like, as long as I am honest, because that is all she spoke to me about."

"Actually, Julia," MacLeod said, "it was part of my father's list of things I should never do." If, however, Julia indicated that she liked behaviour from this list, he would indulge her -- and himself. It was not doing any harm.

"What else was on it? Kissing?" If so, she was inclined to think that list worthless and ready to be burnt.

"Yes."

"But your father did not compose the list with me in mind, did he? I mean, a wife. I think one must kiss a wife. Will he be very disappointed that you have gone against his wishes?"

"I think my father would have very different recommendations from your mother and both would believe they were right. Perhaps we should ignore them both," he suggested tentatively. He leant towards the duchess' point of view, having seen her theory in practice, but that would not be very loyal towards his father. "In private, at least. Since nobody will ever know anything unless we tell them -- and I was not planning to do so."

"Nor I. Well, except if Mama asks to see if I am happy. Will your parents ask?"

"My parents," he said slowly. "Are not like yours. They have not seen the world. They have perhaps been to the three nearest large towns, but not more. They are convinced that the world outside their sphere is evil, dangerous and sinful."

Julia listened in fascination. "Is it? It cannot be. Everybody would think highly of their own sphere, so one would merely exchange one circle of goodness for another."

He considered his answer carefully. He was not often asked to explain the matter. "Let us say that if you are inclined towards vice, you might have these inclinations restrained at home, but not so much if you go away."

"But your parents think you would develop vicious inclinations as a result of going away."

MacLeod was surprised at how quickly she understood. Or not -- although she had been silly, she had never been stupid. "They do."

"Did you?"

"I did," he answered, but his eyes twinkled.

Julia gasped and stepped back. "Such as what?"

"You must first know that they are very proud of me. I was always very exemplary and someone sponsored my education and so forth. My father and mother would be very disappointed in me if I came back very much altered. I do feel a considerable...pressure." He wondered if she understood, since there seemed to be very little pressure on any of the young Lentons.

Julia nodded.

He continued. "But if you are far away and they will never know ... and you are a boy ... or perhaps a little older than a boy ... then this pressure becomes unbearable and you look for ways to relieve it. Rather innocent ways, I might add, but they do not fit the image of the exemplary son. I did not lock myself into my cabin with a moralistic text, but neither did I visit public houses to amuse myself with loose women."

She grimaced at the thought. "What did you do instead?"

"Anything from stealing fruit to taking flags from buildings."

"Normal things," Julia said with a relieved nod. She would do them too.

"But you must realise that I could not relate any of this at home, so if I must have a vice it is withholding information." These things, as lightly as Julia seemed to take them, were not things of which his parents would be proud. They would consider it a waste of his abilities and talents, a weakness in his character too, perhaps.

"I notice," she said, struggling to keep her voice even, "that you do not even call stealing fruit a vice."

"From an orchard -- I do not think they would have suffered from the loss," MacLeod defended himself. He began to wonder whether Julia had ever done this herself. Her eyes had brightened too much.

"I take it this means you did not deliver the loot to a hospital for the poor?" Julia clicked her tongue.

"Only someone injured by a flying apple."

"I can see why the noble seafaring hero would withhold this information," she said in mock seriousness. "It tarnishes your reputation, Captain MacLeod."

"Since just about all of your relatives have emphasised that husbands and wives have no secrets from each other, I suppose I must follow in that family tradition and tell you." It was especially pleasant that she seemed to understand. She was smiling at it, not saying he should have spent his time in a more edifying fashion.

"And how do I affect your reputation? What would your father and mother think of me, even without hearing what I was doing when we met? I come from another sphere." If he had withheld his mischievous adventures from them because they would be shocked, they would most certainly think badly of a girl posing as a boy.

"I ... really have no idea." He was glad Julia did not immediately assume they would accept such a high-born girl without reservations. "I do not even know what they expect me to do with a wife." He had not thought about that yet. Suddenly he wondered if they expected him to leave a wife with them. They might look strangely upon his taking her with him.

"That you treat her kindly?"

"I mean with regard to where you would live while I was at sea."

"Why, in your cabin. Do not leave me with them," she pleaded. "I do not know them at all."

"I think you are still better suited to coming with me than to staying with them." He gently pulled her towards him and even more gently kissed her. One must kiss a wife.

Julia submitted to it willingly, with delight in fact.

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