Mistress of the Seas
After
indulging in a little too much kissing, they were almost late to dinner at the
admiral's house. Nobody asked anything, which was rather a disappointment to
Julia. She was brimming with such news and nobody wanted to know about it.
"He
kissed me, Mama," she imparted confidentially when she had her mother
alone for a second after dinner.
"Yes,
you have been feeling your lips too much for that to go unnoticed,"
Clementine said dryly.
Julia
touched them. "Because they are a little sore, not because I wanted
everybody to know."
"Any
soreness will pass. I shall miss you for longer." In one sense she was
glad Julia was going to sea. She would have been told about every little thing
otherwise. "And you may miss having me to speak to about these
things."
"I
shall not have anyone."
"Yes,
you will. Speak to him instead. These topics interest him too." Clementine
was beginning to feel a bit sad about the impending goodbye. "When you
return we may not even recognise you," she said when the others were near
again. "The captain thinks you may become sensible."
"Become?"
he asked. "She already is."
"He
might challenge my position when it comes to believing he has the most sensible
and pretty wife," said the duke.
"Believing
is the operative word in your case, Lenton," said the admiral.
"Seniority gives me the most rights to anything -- and here I cannot be
contradicted."
"Fortunate
man," said Lady Julia, who could indeed never contradict that she was the
most sensible and pretty, although privately she had some doubts.
The
goodbyes and wishes were not mixed with too much advice, only too many tears to
the gentlemen's taste, but since they all got to hold their sensible and pretty
wives in a comforting manner, they did not mind too much.
It
was rather late when they returned to the ship. Newly married or not, the
captain knew what time he ought to rise and he heaved a sigh. "And what
will you do to me now?" he inquired, cleverly shifting the initiative to
her when they reached the cabin.
"If
you will excuse me, my lips are sore," Julia said very apologetically.
"Could we continue tomorrow?"
He
laughed at her concerned face. "That can be arranged."
She
thought she perceived some dissatisfaction in his face anyway. She was willing
to sacrifice her lips for the sake of marital felicity. "But...?"
He
was surprised she had seen or heard something. "Mrs. MacLeod. Why can you
not be Mrs. MacLeod? Why do you have to be Lady Julia MacLeod? Everybody will
have stopped listening by the time they reach Julia and --"
It
was Julia's turn to laugh. "And then they do not know who I am with!
Possessive, are we?"
"Slightly,"
he admitted. "But they will envy me. You are very beautiful."
"Mac,"
Julia giggled in embarrassment. "You will make me blush. It is my place to
compliment you, not the reverse."
"You
made me become used to it. I think it is only fair to return the favour. You
are very beautiful and tomorrow I will kiss you."
"Are
you certain that you do not mind?" She looked concerned again.
"It
was very enjoyable, but I feel it too. Save it for tomorrow."
Julia
half noticed that MacLeod left the bed. "Hmm?" she murmured
questioningly. It could not possibly be time.
"I
am getting up. Sleep on," he whispered.
Lying
in a warm bed, not yet awake and just having received a kiss somewhere on her
head, she was not going to argue with his order. "Mmm," she replied
and stopped thinking.
"Did
you have a good night, Captain?"
That
question was everywhere and he would almost think he had a most attentive and
polite crew this time, if there had not been so many smirks. The still faint
daylight might hide them, but it could not keep them out of their voices.
"Excellent, thank you," he answered.
"Is
Her Ladyship not up?"
He
had to get used to her not being plain Mrs. MacLeod this time. "She does
not have --" He was going to say she did not have any duties, but they
would misconstrue that for certain. "-- any work to do." He did and
that was why he was up. He could not spend his first morning in bed, even if he
was newly married. It would show no commitment to his duties.
"A
very pretty young lady, Captain."
"A
very pretty married young lady."
"Yes,
Captain. But we had not expected you," First Lieutenant Burton revealed.
"That
is odd, since it is my duty to oversee how you are doing, Burton," MacLeod
said calmly.
"Yes,
but some would think it their duty to oversee how their lady was doing and
indeed many ladies would think the same."
MacLeod
gave him a sharp look. "How would you know, Burton, since you are not
married?"
"I
have seen many a captain very occupied," Burton said with caution.
"It takes quite as much time to manage one woman as it does a whole crew.
Apparently."
He
did not think these women would have been wives. A wife would understand what a
captain had to do. "Well, if they were being paid for being there, I
cannot really wonder at their attempts to wriggle as much money and affection
out of such a man as possible. I do wonder at such a man."
"I
am glad, Captain. My sister especially would be reassured to hear that you
would not be in favour of admitting them on board. She lives in permanent fear
of my immediately handing over all of my money the moment a female
appears."
It
was some time later that Julia woke completely. He had not come back, she could
feel. For a few minutes she lay hoping that he would, despite knowing that he
could not. Tonight there would be another night, she told herself. She got out
of bed and entered the dining cabin.
The
sight of Julia in her night gown, barefoot and her hair in an untidy braid,
prompted MacLeod to shoot a quick glance at the skylight above him. Nobody was
peeking in, although they still might. "Good morning. How was your
night?" he asked.
She
came to stand beside him, laying her hand on his shoulder. "We were very
snug, although you do turn over quite a lot. More, I think, than when I did not
sleep quite so near, but I also had that and I tried not to be so aware of
you."
"You
were aware of me?" It was a comfort to hear they had had the same problem.
"How
could I not be!" she exclaimed. "We are only just married and I must
still get used to being able to feel you when I only stretch out a little bit.
It is very nice to know where you are."
He
smiled. "It is."
"But
I really forgot to speak to you about something that almost everyone in my
family wanted to speak to me about..."
"Oh,
not that!" he cried.
"What
do you know of it? Have they spoken to you as well?" She was surprised.
"Yes,
they have. But I thought you did not know what they were talking about, or so
they said to me." He frowned, fearing she would now question him.
"I
discovered why you accepted the money."
He
stared.
"It
is to pay for a family," Julia said as if she had made a great discovery.
He
still stared.
"But
I had forgotten to tell you that it would be really impractical to have one on
a ship. It is not too late, is it?" She looked anxious. "I know only
half of it, I am sure, but if I make sure I shall not try to have a child, will
you do that too?"
"I
cannot promise you that," he said earnestly. "It is becoming more
appealing by the second. I think I am beginning to see what it is about."
"What
is it about?" Julia asked predictably.
He
sighed. "Wait here." He got some stationery and paper from the
adjoining cabin and pulled her onto his lap. That, he thought, was a privilege
he could now enjoy. Then he painstakingly sketched something, trying to do
better this time. "I was thinking this might be quicker than explaining it
to you. This is it."
Julia
studied it and commented on the most interesting and least daunting aspect of
it. "That is a very snug hug."
"She
spoke positively," he said incredulously. "I should have known you
would immediately identify it as such. I did not. I was always told it was
absolutely sinful -- by my father, not by your family. They do not seem to
think it is."
"But
you did not see it as a hug because you are still learning how to hug. I expect
you will need to learn this too."
He
hid his face upon hearing her take on it. "I am to mind my wife's opinions
on the matter, your father said. I did, but with the thought that you would be
disgusted rather than eager." He could not believe her there yet.
"I
may still reconsider," she said archly, not feeling as certain of herself
as she appeared. "Is this also what I just told you I would try not to do
and also what you feel is becoming more appealing by the second?"
"Yes."
"I
would say we were going to have a difference of opinion at some point, but this
whole thing being a hug changes that, naturally. I must hug you, Mac. I
must." She sighed theatrically. "No wonder my grandmother was
appalled at my serious conviction that I would be able to talk you out of it. I
did not know it involved a hug!" Such closeness could only be very
pleasant. It was also very pleasant to sit in his lap.
"I
think it is good no one told you about that before..."
She
peered at the drawing. "But Mac, what are they wearing?"
He
glanced up at the skylight and perceived a head that was quickly drawn away.
"You had best get dressed, my dear, or we shall have the entire crew
peeking in from above."
Julia
did not care about that in the least. "But what are they wearing? You have
drawn them as my brother James would."
"He
makes such drawings?" he exclaimed. James, he remembered from the portrait
gallery, was the one just above Henry, which according to the Lentons
regularity in childbirth must mean he was six. A fine compliment, to be
compared to a young boy.
"Well,
people with arms and legs and no discernable clothes."
"I
need some cold air," he muttered.
Julia
felt her power. "I shall not get off your lap until you tell me."
"I
do not know," he said quickly. "Now I --"
"If
you know how to draw this, you must know," she pointed out.
"Life
is not logical."
"Of
course it is. Well," she said magnanimously. "Go and get your cold
air. I shall take the pen and the drawing and dress them up logically."
When
he went on deck again to get some fresh air onto his cheeks, it was much the
same -- questions as to how his breakfast had been this time. He recalled the
face peeking in. "Burton," he began. "Could you somehow have it
known that the captain's dining cabin is not a point of interest, despite its
nice windows?"
"What
do you mean, Captain?" Burton asked.
"I
have no plans to do anything to my wife in the dining cabin."
A
twitch in Burton's face betrayed that he had some knowledge of the fact that
someone had taken a look and that perhaps he disagreed with his captain on this
issue. "Yes, Captain."
"So
next time you see someone peeking in, or perhaps you find yourself seized by
the urge to peek in..."
"I
shall have them properly spoken to, Captain, but if you do not mind my saying
so, you should not alert anybody to the fact that something might happen
in your dining cabin, even if you say it will not."
"Burton,
I will flog you personally."
"Of
course."
For a
while they stood in silence, looking out over the ship stretching out in front
of them, but while MacLeod was looking at someone struggling with a tangled
rope, Burton had set his sights lower. "What the devil!" he exclaimed
suddenly.
"Where?"
MacLeod's eyes roamed the ship.
"Is
that not Her Ladyship in trousers?" Burton nearly keeled over in shock.
"And
they are not mine." MacLeod narrowed his eyes as he observed them.
"I
thought you would be angry upon seeing her in men's clothing," Burton
ventured. But the only thing the captain looked at was whether they were his
trousers or not.
"Only
if you appear in women's clothing," MacLeod assured him.
Burton
took a step back, just in case. He preferred to watch the confrontation from a
small distance. He called a reprimand to the men at the wheel, who were equally
intrigued.
"Julia!"
MacLeod's voice was far from calm. He took a deep breath and spoke again when
she was near. "Whose trousers did you borrow?"
"My
brother's."
He
relaxed. "I could not have you steal the crew's clothes."
"But
with all these stairs and steps I thought this would be more practical -- and I
would attract less attention."
MacLeod
was not so certain of the latter, but he was willing to give it a fair trial.
"Have you eaten yet?"
"No,
I forgot."
"Go
and eat something and I shall take you around the ship afterwards." He
watched her skip back to his cabin, wondering if he should take her around in
trousers or in a gown. He did not know what was best.
Burton
approached him cautiously again. "I thought Her Ladyship was going to be a
different sort of lady, much like Mrs. Mercer."
"I
am not acquainted with Mrs. Mercer."
"Well,
her handkerchief blew away and the captain broke his hip because she had
ordered him to go after it."
"What
does that mean, Burton?" There had to be a point to the anecdote.
"Trouble.
She expected the entire crew to wait on her hand and foot and she complained to
the captain if we did not, not always truthfully, and so we were forced to do
as she said because he would always believe her. Actually," he lowered his
voice. "I think the deck was a bit slippery for Mrs. Mercer's sake, so she
would be prevented from sailing with us, but I never had this matter
investigated."
"Lieutenant,
are you saying a ship is a dangerous place for ladies?"
"Only
for Mrs. Mercer."
MacLeod
returned to his cabin to see what Julia had made of the drawing. He found her
thoughtfully consuming her breakfast and the drawing was not in sight.
"Er..." he said.
"I
threw it away," she answered, guessing what he meant. "Perhaps I was
too hasty. It was not as bad as I expected, but after a few more looks I think
it is not very appealing after all."
"I
know," he answered, sitting down as well.
"You
are not disappointed?"
"No."
"Why
not?" she asked. "You said it was appealing."
"It
has gone from not appealing to more appealing, Julia. It will not
be very appealing unless you think so too." Given his own progress,
she would come to think so one day.
"I
hope I do not strike you as very whimsical and unreliable, but I seem to feel
differently when you are in the same room," Julia observed with some
curiosity after she had given the drawing another thought.
"You
too?" he could not help but say. He marvelled at the similarity of their
feelings. He had not expected it to occur so often. It was surprisingly
pleasant and comforting.
"If
I were to sit in your lap I should probably feel even more inclined."
"I
should. But --" he interrupted when she made a move. "Not in the
dining cabin. It has a very large window up there." Even if Burton had
best not try to take a look, someone else might pass by accident.
Julia
glanced up, eager to try out her theory. "We shall sit on the bed."
"Not yet! I cannot do -- I think I ought to be visible, especially during the first days. Let me show you around instead. I do not want anybody to think you are one of those ladies who think they need more attention than the ship."
Chapter Twenty-Two
They reached Dundee speedily. Julia had not once felt seasick, she noted with glee. She would not be sent home like her grandmother. She had done well and she would be allowed to stay, as if there was any doubt about her husband's wishes.
MacLeod
had been wondering if his parents had been able to travel to the port. He had
written to them as soon as he had known about his posting, so that it might
give them more time to prepare. There had not been enough time for them to
reply, he thought, or only barely, but he had not heard from them. He had not
written again to inform them of his upcoming marriage.
If
they had come to town, they would come to the ship. He ought to stay in the
vicinity, but he did want to take his wife for a stroll about town, so she
could boast of having been there once. He assumed they could leave a note or
wait if they came when he was not there.
He
kept Julia by his side as the ship was moored. He knew where they might stand
out of the way and she was excited enough to want to see everything.
Her
eyes were scanning the shore. "Are they there?" she whispered.
He
touched her hand that lay on his arm, because he had been looking too.
"Not as far as I can tell, but there are a great many people walking about
there."
"Captain,
you will almost certainly go ashore, will you not?" asked his First
Lieutenant in a moment of idleness. "There must be some MacLeods living
around these parts."
"They
are not all related to me, Burton, but perhaps a few will come if they have a
day to spare." He spoke evenly, in case they could not come after all.
They could not travel when they pleased, like Julia's family, and stay away for
as long as they liked.
"Well,
I hope for your sake that they will," Julia said warmly. "Will I
understand them if they speak?"
Here
Burton gave a snort and looked away almost immediately. He wanted nothing to do
with that comment, having once or twice asked his captain to repeat his words.
"Perhaps
not, but then we may talk about you," MacLeod responded. "I expect
they may want to."
"Have
you not met them before?" Burton asked Julia.
"No,
I have not. He has only met my family. All of them except my uncle George, but
he lives somewhere in India and I have not met him either."
"How
odd. He might marry someone without their interference," MacLeod
commented. "They are very fond of interfering, are they not?"
"What?
No!" she cried. "They are fond of me, that is all. And now they will
be fond of you too."
"We
must look nice when we go ashore, must we not?" Julia asked. As soon as
they had seen land, she had changed into her gown. Although everybody on the
ship was by now used to her appearance in trousers, the good people of Dundee
might have a fit.
"I
cannot improve much," mused her husband. "The effect must be all
yours."
"I
wonder that anyone would mark my presence next to the dashing uniform,"
she commented as she unfastened her hair. It had become very blowsy and tangled
in the wind.
He
chuckled. "Silly girl. They see nothing but sailors in ports. Girls in
yellow gowns are rare and must be stared at."
"Aye,
Captain." She brushed her hair and tied it up anew. She pulled a suitable
bonnet over it. "Off we go."
"I
have business at some offices first, but you can come with me. You will be
interested in seeing how it is conducted, will you not?"
The
diplomacy required in dealing with parents who held different opinions was new
to Julia. She did not think her opinions differed very much from those of her
parents and it had never occurred to her that for some people this was
radically different. MacLeod seemed nervous about meeting them, as if he was
afraid what they would say.
She
sensed she might have to resort to staying silent altogether, so as not to make
Mac's task any more difficult than it already was. "Mac," she said
softly. "You supported me, now I will support you. I will not say
anything."
He
smiled and pressed a kiss on her hand. "Thank you, but total silence would
be a bit too much."
His
parents saw them by accident in the street, just when they had been shopping
for more trousers. "Alexander?" a man exclaimed in a mixture of
surprise and awe. "Is that you?"
"Father!
I had not seen you!"
"We
were looking out for you, but we almost missed you because -- we did not expect
a lady." Mr. MacLeod gave Julia a quick and fearful glance.
She
stood still, not expecting they would greet each other with hugs, not Mac's
parents. She looked at the man and the woman. Very modestly dressed, they were.
She supposed his father would have some occupation.
Despite
having thought about an eloquent introduction many times, the captain could
only say, "er...this is my wife." Although this revelation was met with
utter shock, he finished the introduction. "Julia, these are my father and
mother. Father, mother, this is my wife Julia."
Julia
curtseyed. "Mr. MacLeod, Mrs. MacLeod, I am very pleased to meet
you." She had little hope of receiving any words in return. His parents
seemed to be completely astonished. She gave her husband an imploring look. He
had to do something about this. They could not remain on the street forever in
this painful silence. If he did not suggest anything, she would.
"Let
us cross the street and have some refreshments," he suggested. "We
could talk there." He led them all across the street and had them seated.
When their order had been placed he spoke again. "You must be surprised. I
did not want to inform you by letter. We got married the day before we
left."
Still
his parents were silent.
Julia
had no idea what they were thinking. Occasionally they glanced at her, but as
soon as they saw she was looking back, they averted their eyes. She had known
better than to expect a warm welcome, but this was very unsettling indeed. She
studied them closely. They looked respectable, but not wealthy. Since they had
not yet spoken, she could not say whether they spoke well.
"Have
you -- have you got a house?" Mr. MacLeod asked.
"She
is coming with me."
That
was possibly even more shocking than his having a wife in the first place.
"With you?" his father said weakly.
"I
know in other families in the neighbourhood my wife would have been left with
my parents, but I shall not do so." He spoke quietly, but he was not going
to be dissuaded.
"A
woman on a ship?" asked his mother, implying this was not at all a
respectable place, not somewhere she would ever consider going.
"Yes,
Mother."
"You
were married in secret and you are taking your wife with you?" His
disapproval was now overtaking Mr. MacLeod's astonishment. Perhaps he did not
completely believe that this was really his son's wife.
"Yes,
Father."
"But
we did not raise you like that, Alexander. What are we to say to
everyone?"
"It
cannot be undone and even if it could, I would not undo it," Alexander
answered fiercely.
"But
what will people think?"
"I
do not care what the neighbourhood will think of it."
"We
do," said his mother softly.
He
rested his head in his hand and sighed. It was true that he had moved away, but
that they were still there. Still, it was impossible to take their neighbours'
possible opinions into account when he made decisions regarding a life that
would be led far away from them. "I do not live there anymore. What could
it matter to them that I am taking my wife with me? Except that they were completely
left out of the decision to marry her?"
"They
will think --" His father stopped. "Remember what I told you."
"I
remember what you told me and I have always lived by it. Getting married does
not change that very much," he said patiently. "The neighbourhood is
simply going to have to accept that I make my own choices when it comes to
marriage. Should I have married some village girl and left her with you, making
everybody happy but myself? Yes, I could see how that would be the only course
of action they would approve of, securing a life for one of their daughters. I
am sorry for their disappointment, but we live in different worlds."
Mr.
MacLeod shook his head sadly. "Nothing good came of sending you to school.
You are giving yourself airs now, as we feared you would. A fine gentleman like
you will no longer want to come home."
"It
grieves me to find --" He stopped. "If you must know --"
Julia
touched his thigh comfortingly. There was not much more she could do. She would
like to say he did not give himself airs, not at all, but they would not
believe her.
"Rather
than suspect me of all manner of evil --" Alexander finally managed to
say. "Which you would never have thought if I had not married a fine lady
--"
Julia,
who could only hear his voice and the trouble he seemed to have in speaking,
hugged him as well she was able to, sitting beside him. "I suspect you of
all manner of goodness," she said in a soft and soothing tone. Then she
resumed her former position and stared at the table. This was going worse than
he had expected, she thought. She wished there was something she could do.
He
did not know whether Julia's words and actions helped in any way to convince
his parents to think differently. They seemed shocked by this affection
displayed so openly for everybody to see. He pulled Julia's hand above the
table and held it. He was strengthened by the touch.
"What
must Mrs. Hendry think now after she supported your education?" asked his
father. "And Flora?"
He
was beginning to feel cross. "I do not know any Flora."
"You
will never, now that you are married. She is the daughter of a cousin of Mrs.
Hendry's and --"
"And
Mrs. Hendry paid for my education so I would marry this Flora?" Alexander
cut in sharply.
"No,
but there was the hope that --"
"There
could never have been any hope. There were no conditions of that kind. I am not
bound to any sort of expectations that people might foolishly have had."
"And
what are we to tell Mrs. Hendry?"
"From
what I remember, Mrs. Hendry was a sensible woman. I do not remember her being
so disconnected from real life as to try and force other people to live out her
unrealistic wishes. She could have employed her money a lot better if it was
always her intention that I marry that relative of hers. She could, for
instance, have settled it on that girl and not spent it on me."
"She
has a little money of her own. It would have been a good match."
Julia
stifled a snort of incredulity. She could not remain silent now. "I -- how
could you say such a thing when you do not even know a thing about me?
Not to mention that it is very ill-mannered to imply in my presence that other
girls would have been good matches." She turned to her husband. "I
shall be looking out of the window for a while until you finish."
He
glanced after her as she left the table. His face was flushed and he could not
help but admire her calmness. "There. You have insulted my wife. I trust
you will apologise."
"Where
did you find her? She seems very forward and unreserved -- immodest."
There was now a look on Alexander's face that caused his mother to leave the table as well, not because she was insulted, but because she was afraid. She did not want to hear her husband make matters worse. He would not listen to her if she tried to interfere. She was hesitant about approaching the girl by the window, but she knew it had to be done.
Chapter Twenty-Three
For a
while Mrs. MacLeod simply stood there beside Julia without speaking, but then
she spoke. "I apologise for my husband's words."
"So
do I for mine. It is not easy for him. He does not want to disappoint you, but
seemingly he cannot avoid it," Julia said quietly. "His parents'
expectations seem to differ from his. He is happy with different things."
She
wondered about her own parents' expectations. They had never voiced any, as far
as she could remember. Not to the extent that there was any pressure on her to
do well to return anybody's favours, anyway. They had expected her to do well
in her lessons, to do well in school when she was sent there, but they had paid
for all of this themselves. They had not depended on the charity of someone
else who expected gratitude and success in return -- or who was thought to
expect that.
And
although all the Newman boys -- of whom there were almost as many -- took their
lessons with her brothers, she did not think this was done with any expectation
of gratitude and deference. Perhaps all that had to be done was watch her
brothers, such as when her parents had both been away to see her safely
married.
"But
such a hasty marriage ... without telling us. He has no money." She eyed
Julia's gown with distrust.
Evidently
Mrs. MacLeod feared all her son's money was being spent on her outfit, Julia
thought. Her gown was new, but her mother had bought it. It had to be new; she
had grown taller while she was away. They had indeed brought trousers earlier,
but that had not really been his money, had it? "My father made him a
handsome offer. He could buy me more gowns than I would need."
"Your
father?" It sounded surprised. "I did not expect -- does he know you
went to sea?"
"My
father," Julia said proudly, "knows what would make me happy."
She wondered what this woman had expected. That she had run off with the
captain, perhaps. A second later she recollected that she had indeed done that
once, in a way. But then the woman would expect that her father would
disapprove of that. He had not.
"But
Alexander never wrote to us of an engagement. I cannot think any father would
condone such a hasty marriage without an engagement. Especially since you seem
to be very young."
Julia
could not get Alexander into trouble, so she had to be circumspect. Her
mother's words came to mind. Did she want to go through life lying and being
cautious about her past? She had not taken that seriously then, not believing
there might ever come a time that she would need to lie. If her mother had been
right, perhaps these parents were right too in some sense. Perhaps they
believed her father should have kept a closer eye on her, preventing a hasty marriage
without any engagement.
The
matter of who was right in this instance was still very confusing, especially
since she believed she had not required any lengthy engagement to be happy.
"There was a longer acquaintance before the engagement -- which was but a
few days, since he was to set sail."
"Did
he -- did anything happen that made such haste necessary?" Mrs. MacLeod
looked fearful.
"Yes,
he wanted to take me with him."
"He
was not forced to marry you?"
"Well,
from one married woman to another..." Julia took a childish delight in
saying that. "His upbringing did not provide him with the inclination to
get into such trouble, so on that account you may rest assured."
His
mother muttered something that sounded like a word of thanks to someone who was
not present.
"Tell
that Mrs. Hendry that her money was well-spent. Alexander's wife thanks her
prodigiously." She wondered if she had the age to get away with such
benevolence. Perhaps the one who was taking on airs was she.
Alexander's
mother was obviously a little taken aback by that attitude. "Is your
father very rich?"
"I
do not know," Julia said carelessly. "He always says all his money
will be gone by the time we are all grown up, but he keeps bringing new
children into the world, so I am sure he thinks he has enough for all of us and
even enough to give us when we marry."
Mrs.
MacLeod looked at her with something close to awe. "And your marriage to
Alexander had your father's approval?"
"It
did."
"How
could he let you go to sea?"
"How
could he stop me? I want to be with Alexander and since my father is always
with my mother, he understands that wish perfectly. Besides, he has been to sea
himself." And so had she, but she could not say so.
"But
it is no place to raise children."
Julia
would agree with her. "But I am not with child so I see no reason to stay
ashore."
Mrs.
MacLeod gasped.
"Should
I be?" Julia asked, not understanding the gasp. "Already after a few
days?"
"You
are not supposed to speak of it," Mrs. MacLeod said in extreme mortification.
"I
am sorry to hear that, but Alexander and I have spoken about it. Knowledge of
how they come about is also knowledge of how they do not come about."
Julia wondered if she was not still slightly fascinated by the topic. Any newly
married person ought to take an interest, she believed, but this seemed the
opposite of what Alexander's mother believed.
Mrs.
MacLeod had to sit down. "And Alexander married such a girl!" she
uttered in shock.
"I
must point out that you mentioned children first and that I merely told you I
was not yet having any. If this was your only objection to women on ships, it
is not valid in this case." She perceived that her mother-in-law was still
looking extremely shocked. "I believe we do not see eye to eye on this
matter, so I shall drop it after saying that in the event that we do have a
child, we shall not keep it from you -- unless this meeting does not end on
good terms, but I hope it may. I want Alexander to be happy. Do you not?"
"I
do."
"You
insult me too if you insult her," Alexander said with a heightened colour.
"She is not immodest."
"How
was she raised?" Mr. MacLeod was too preoccupied to notice his wife's
defection.
"You
may be my father, but you are speaking of my wife. You had best accept
her, because she will not go away. If I am happy with the way she was raised,
you can have no reason to doubt it. Do you doubt my judgement? If you do, you
doubt the way you raised me."
Mr.
MacLeod looked away. "How could you choose a wife without telling
us?"
"I
told you. There was no time. I was lucky to get this posting so quickly. I
could have been punished instead." He wondered if they had read his
logbook properly and seen the name and connections of the girl he had
discovered. It might have helped. "What should I have done? Declined it,
so I might spend a more appropriate time being engaged? And I did not choose a
wife -- do you think I bought her in a shop?"
"She
is so forward she might have chosen you."
"She
did."
His
father stared at him.
"She
did," Alexander repeated. "And why not? What does it matter who saw
whom first?"
"A
high degree of modesty is required in these matters. A girl's reputation is her
most precious possession."
"Again,
Father, do you doubt me? Assuming I agree with you -- which is not entirely the
case -- do you think I would be careless with her most precious
possession?" He had always been raised not to be careless.
"You
do not agree with me," Mr. MacLeod said with some astonishment.
"No,
I do not. Her most precious possession..." Alexander glanced towards where
Julia was standing. "...is what it should be. It is why she is with me. It
is because she is who she is."
His
father did not understand that, but he did not want to dwell on it. "Well,
you probably have an income sufficient enough to support such fancy
inclinations," he said.
"My
father-in-law is the Duke of Muncester," Alexander revealed, catching
himself saying father-in-law rather than Julia's father, as if it was no longer
only Julia's relative. It was not. He had liked the family. He would not mind
being a part of it.
"A
duke!"
The
shock would not have been much greater if he had said Julia's father was the
king, Alexander thought. "He used to be a captain. He completely
understands his daughter." He wished his father would understand him as
well.
Julia
returned for her drink. She gave her husband a pat on the shoulder. Nobody here
had become too irrational here yet, so that was good. Mr. MacLeod was now
eyeing her as if she was the strangest creature he had ever laid eyes upon, so
she assumed Mac had told his father something odd.
Since
his mother was not following her, she took both their drinks back to where Mrs.
MacLeod was still seated.
"Thank
you. But if your father is very rich you must not serve me," Mrs. MacLeod
fretted.
"Serve
you," Julia repeated in astonishment. There was much at which to wonder in
Mac's parents and apparently the feeling was mutual.
Unbeknownst
to them, Mr. MacLeod was saying a similar thing. "Mary!" he called
commandingly.
Julia
observed that she went, instantly. She followed more slowly when it seemed
unlikely that Mrs. MacLeod would return. She gave Alexander a confused look,
but he was no more comfortable than she was. This was a useless venture. They
might have more success communicating with people who spoke no English at all.
She
listened as Mr. MacLeod related the latest neighbourhood news to his son, but
she could not imagine Alexander interested in any of it. In fact, she thought she
might understand more of the mentions of new machinery than he did, having
grown up on a large estate. "Such a thing was introduced with great
success where I am from," she said when Alexander failed to give any
response. "I think. My mother wrote about it when I was at school, but it was
not something that interested me. I was too young."
Mr.
MacLeod now looked as if both Julia and her mother were very strange.
"Your mother!" he exclaimed.
"It
could have been my father," Julia said with a shrug. She could not
remember it precisely. "Both wrote to me when I was at school."
The
notion that they were practically interchangeable was amusing to Alexander
because he could imagine it perfectly, but his father would not understand it.
"Her mother takes a great interest in her father's affairs because she likes
him very much," he explained. It was really no wonder that Julia was like
that as well. "And if one of your little brothers wants to go swimming,
your mother must take over your father's tasks, must she not? Assuming he has
any that are strictly his and assuming she does not want to watch."
"How
do you know? I have never thought about it," Julia said. She liked that he
could still be amused under the present circumstances.
"She
told me. When I went to speak to your father about his offer and you went inside.
Remember? Your mother came to us with the two smallest boys and one wanted to
go swimming. Of course your father broke off his very important conversation
with me to please his son and his wife -- and, according to your mother,
himself. And then she sat with me to explain how they liked playing with their
children."
Julia
giggled. "Yes, they do..."
"And
your father approved of me because I was not averse to conversing with his
little ones, as he put it. I wonder if he counted you among them," he said
teasingly.
She smiled back, wanting his parents to be impressed.
"Must
you return today?" Alexander inquired. He did not know how long they could
stay away.
"No,
we have until tomorrow," his father answered. He did not like travelling
and coming home at night.
Politeness
dictated that they dine together. It could not be otherwise, even if it was
going to be more of a chore than a pleasure at this moment. It could never
become a pleasure if he did not do this now, he knew. "You must dine with
us then this evening. On board."
They
had never been on a ship before. Perhaps it would be a good opportunity to show
them how he lived -- how he and Julia lived, because for all he knew they might
think she had a hammock among dozens of men. In such a case he would agree with
their disapproval. He had ordered Julia out of there once, but they needed not
know about that.
"On
board?" his mother echoed in fear.
"That
will be no problem if we tell the cook about it in time," he assured her.
"I have a very nice dining cabin. Perhaps," he said with a glance at
Julia. He was eager for some time apart to collect his thoughts and feelings
and she would be too. "We should head back to arrange it?"
"See?"
he asked as they walked, afraid of her reaction. It could not be favourable.
She might even ask why he had invited them to dinner.
"Yes,
I see," she answered, but with a smile. He was not to blame for anything.
"They think a bit differently. Quite a bit."
"My
father insulted you." And an apology had never been made, although he had
suggested it. Perhaps the revelation about the duke had preoccupied his father
too much afterwards.
"Oh,"
Julia said carelessly. "Out of concern, I am sure, but now they will have
seen it is all right."
"I
hope so." He was not as trusting.
"But
it is really enough that we love each other, is it not?" They did not need
his parents' approval, especially if they lived here, so far away. Perhaps Mac
thought he did, but he could have her father if he must have some replacement.
Seven sons or eight, that could not make a difference to her father.
Alexander
smiled at her.
"Is
that a yes?" she asked with an arch smile.
"What
do you think?"
"I
think it was," she said boldly.
He
smiled again. "Here is hardly a good place to ask me about this."
There were so many people about who might catch a word or two.
"Your
parents would think nowhere is." If they loved each other, they were very
proficient at hiding it.
"Perhaps
they would think such a thing tacitly understood," he hoped, although he
had his doubts.
"Unnecessary,
perhaps," thought Julia, who could imagine that they had merely chosen the
best candidate from the village because they must and they had nowhere else to
look, which in her case would have amounted to marrying Thomas Newman. She had
never felt like hugging Thomas, although he was a good friend. "But I do
like talking about it."
He
struggled with that logic for a second, but decided there was no connection between
her sentences. "Yes, you do."
Perhaps
not everyone approved of talking about love, husbands and associated topics.
"Your mother said a ship was no place to raise children, but when I said
that was irrelevant because I was not with child, she said I was not supposed
to speak of it. As you will have deduced, my mother is with child every year
and a half -- what are we to do with her then?" She imagined not speaking
of her mother's condition, even though it had always been very apparent.
"I
think you are supposed to assume all those children were left on their
doorstep," he said reflectively. The duke had to have got his mockery from
some existing misconceptions.
Julia
stared. "Mac!"
"What
else?"
"But
how could someone think that? Suppose they left the child at the wrong door --
an old grey bachelor's! -- or nobody is home! In January!" Julia's
affectionate heart swelled with pity for the poor little babe.
"Julia..."
He wanted to laugh, but he felt he ought not.
"Yes?"
"Do
not think about it. It will never satisfy the rational mind."
She
wondered if he thought his parents did not have rational minds or if they were
not satisfied, but she did not ask. "Do I have a rational mind?"
After
their son and his new wife had left them, Mr. and Mrs. MacLeod walked a while
in perfect astonishment. "Alexander! Married!" said his father.
"And to the daughter of a duke! Which sort of vanity led him to such a
choice?"
"A
duke!" Mrs. MacLeod repeated, very much impressed.
"And
you let her bring you your tea."
"No,
I did not know she would!" his wife protested. "She was kind enough
to do so."
"Not
all dukes are very moral people," Mr. MacLeod said to check any awe they
both might have.
Mrs.
MacLeod was silent. She did not know anything about dukes or their daughters
and whatever she could conclude was not going to be important.
"And
we are to dine on board. We shall be able to see it for ourselves now." Of
course Alexander had written about it and told them things when he had been
home, but it had always been difficult to imagine what it was really like.
While
Captain MacLeod was arranging for two extra dinner guests, Julia saw to the
panic of a heavily tattooed fellow who saw his shore leave spoilt by an
unexpected tear in his trousers. She took pity on his attempts to mend it. It
looked too hurried and clumsy to her. "I do not wish to sound like your
mother, but perhaps you ought to shop for clothes rather than for another
tattoo," she said to him.
He
looked at her in astonishment. "But Mrs. Captain, you are making them as
good as new!"
"Hardly!
They are so worn that another bit will be torn next week," she said,
working quickly. "And really, I am not going to help you every week. I am
only doing it now because you are in a hurry and the captain does not like
disgruntled sailors -- and I should not like our ship to be represented by
someone in trousers that look as if they were mended by a blind man."
He
looked at his trousers. "Well, perhaps."
"Now,
there is a little shop just off the fish market..."
"Yes,
Mrs. Captain," the sailor said obediently.
"What
were you doing?" asked MacLeod, who had seen her speak with one of the
crew, especially because it was one who looked as if he might be trouble when
provoked.
"Mrs.
Captain, he called me. I mended his trousers. We cannot have such a badly
dressed man represent us ashore."
"Us?"
he asked with a laugh. Julia's commitment and sense of responsibility amused
him. "Mrs. Captain?" That amused him too. Obviously Mrs. Captain had
some authority over the sailors.
"Yes,
you must agree with me." She did not think he would like it if their crew
went ashore in rags. It would be considered his fault.
"Yes,
I must, but --" He laughed again.
"I
told him to buy trousers ashore."
"Assuming
he would listen, he can do so on board."
"Should
those not be saved for emergencies? Such as when there are no shops
nearby."
"You
take such good care of us, Mrs. Captain," he said affectionately.
Julia
liked it when he looked at her affectionately. It was not entirely new,
although it had increased in intensity. "Do you object to that address,
Captain?"
"No,
not at all. It is you who might insist on Lady Julia."
While
he was undoubtedly easy, he must not be too easy. It was for his own good, she
thought. "My mother said I must not undermine your authority. You must
tell me when I am in danger. I thought motherly comments would be all
right."
"Motherly
comments! Are you practising?" He laughed again. She was one of the
youngest on board. "Come to the captain's cabin. There are some matters to
see to before dinner."
Julia
stood still upon hearing these words. "Alexander?"
"Yes?"
"Do
you want me to practise in the captain's cabin right before your parents come
to dinner?" That seemed rather a bold notion for him and she raised her eyebrows
questioningly.
He
looked confused but then he smirked. "Oh! No. There was really no
connection."
"You
shocked me there!" she teased.
"But
I could kiss you?" he asked in a low voice, taking her arm.
"Yes,
Captain."
Burton
crossed their path a few moments later and MacLeod beckoned him. "Burton,
my parents are coming to dinner. Are you dining with us?"
"Would
you not rather dine alone with them?" the lieutenant wondered.
"No,
I would not. We must do as we usually do, excepting for those who are on
leave." He gave a nod and started to walk away, but a thought struck him.
"Perhaps you would be interested in a girl named Flora, supposedly a good
match?"
Julia
giggled, although she was wondering why he was on the brink of confiding in
Burton. If he had asked her beforehand, she would have advised against it. But
it was quite possible that Burton would understand because he had made less
charitable comments about his own family to Alexander. She did not know whether
he had.
"Are
they bringing her?" Burton asked. He was evidently wondering why she was
brought up.
"I
hope not. They only mentioned her as someone I could or should have married,
even if I do not know her."
"In
front of Her Ladyship?" Burton winced in sympathy. "Speaking of
mentioning, Captain, I suppose we are not to mention Her Ladyship's
trousers?" Apparently the captain's parents had some problems with their
son's choice of Lady Julia rather than the perfectly suitable Miss Flora. It
was only going to be worse if Lady Julia turned out to wear trousers on board.
MacLeod
considered the damage that such a revelation would do. It was safe to say his
parents would not understand it, both why she wanted it and why he allowed it.
"If we can avoid it, we ought to try, but I am not going to invent
anything."
Chapter Twenty-Five
Why
did you tell him that?" Julia asked when they were in their cabin.
"It
was probably not --" Alexander frowned. It might not have been very
discreet of him, but he did not have a perfect judgement at all times. Who did?
"It
was understandable, but..." She hugged him. "I wondered why he was
allowed to know that your parents said something they really should not have.
Oh. I do that all the time, do I not?"
"Not
all the time. And really, what do parents expect? If they are not wise
enough themselves to mind what they say, do they expect us to be wise for
two?" he reasoned his way out of it, looking at Julia to see if she
agreed. "We are still young. We still have to learn."
"I
like learning, but I wish I could do something for you. I do not care what they
think of me, but they should not think less of you because of me."
"You
can do something for me. Sit here with me." Alexander had a good plan that
would amuse and distract them. He sat down at his writing desk. "In my
lap."
Julia
giggled at his new addiction as she took her place. "You are still
adorable. What were those matters you had to see to before dinner?"
"That
can wait. Would you prefer to supervise matters in the dining cabin or sit
here?" He was certain there was not much to supervise. Their table had
been laid with increasing accuracy since the beginning of their voyage.
"Supervise?
Why now, I think some people would want me to place my husband's happiness
above my own..." she said innocently. She pretended to let a knife and fork
change places. Her happiness was not going to be spoilt by having to perform
such a correction.
"There
is something to be said for being a good lady of the ... cabin," he said,
drawing out a blank sheet of paper.
"If
I were to frighten the lad with my stern presence, I should end up with two
forks and you with two knives," she teased. "A good lady of the cabin
has her priorities."
"Yes,
she does." He wrote something down.
She
choked. "Mac!"
A
polite young seaman showed the MacLeods the way to the captain's cabin. They
were early and Alexander received them in his day cabin. He perceived they were
nervous and he could not say he felt very much at ease either. "What do
you say to a tour of the ship first?" he suggested, putting off a
conversation on trivial topics. "Julia?"
Julia
peered out from the sleeping cabin, at a much lower height than she should have
been. She was on her knees. "Yes?"
"I
am just going to -- what are you doing?" he inquired. He had thought she
was dressing. If they had not wasted so much time earlier on amusing things,
she would have been finished already.
She
remained seated. "I dropped an earring and I cannot find it. What are you
going to do?"
"I
was going to -- I will help you first." He joined her, dropping to his
knees as well. He wondered if he was going to seize any distraction with both
hands.
"Here!"
she said triumphantly. "Here it is!"
He
helped her put it in her ear. "I was going to give a tour of the ship. Are
you coming?"
"Yes,
of course!" As they helped each other to their feet, she wondered if his
parents thought he should not have done any of this. They were looking rather
baffled. She gave them a curtsey and a very polite greeting. Then she clung to
Alexander's arm, giving him a rather pleading look.
He
thought she meant she would on no account want to give his father an arm if he
led his mother around. Perhaps such a division was the norm in Julia's family,
but he did not think his father would like to hear explanations from Julia. Perhaps
it was also wise to avoid that -- Julia had a different and sometimes revealing
perspective on matters.
The
ladies would have to walk together. He signalled this to Julia with his eyes.
Fortunately she understood him, because she smiled in relief.
After
the tour, which had gone well, Alexander offered them all a drink. Sometimes he
had tried to catch what Julia was saying to his mother and of course she had
pointed out things he would never think of, girl things. She would appalled to
hear such a description, so he only smiled to himself.
"And
this is where we live," Julia said brightly. "We shall see our dining
cabin shortly, but this is where we live and there is where we sleep." She
pretended not to see the MacLeods stiffen. Sleeping was probably another of
those unmentionable things. She assumed that was because the other
unmentionable things might come about at around the same time as sleep. Perhaps
the rational mind, while it could not be satisfied by these notions, could
still predict them. "Would you like to see our sleeping cabin?"
Mr.
MacLeod declined, but Mrs. MacLeod did not.
Contrary
to Mr. MacLeod, Julia was inclined to interpret silence as an affirmation. She
all but dragged Alexander's mother to the sleeping cabin. "Is it not snug?"
she asked in a low voice. If she kept her voice down, her mother-in-law might
be tempted to give an answer. Perhaps it made a difference whether her husband
could hear her or not.
"Snug,"
was the astonished repetition. "Is this for both of you?"
"It
fits," Julia assured her. "We are married. We do not object to
sharing a space. There is always so much to say that a small space is really
good. My Papa and Mama live in a large house and because they have so much
space to make use of, they are forever walking around to see where the other
went."
Mrs.
MacLeod looked baffled.
Julia
was already proceeding to another topic. "But you must see that it is very
comfortable, very fine quality and all."
"Indeed."
"And
everything is neatly out of sight in those little compartments," she
pointed at the walls. "I keep forgetting what is where." As she
looked around and back into the day cabin, she saw that some of the other
officers had come, those who were free to dine with them. "Oh! Our company
has arrived."
They
were well-bred young men, the lieutenants, and they greeted their captain's
parents most civilly. Julia was a little surprised to notice that Mr. MacLeod
was not incapable of conversation, or at least of answering. Perhaps he was
merely incapable of understanding his son's wishes when it came to marriage.
Burton
and Cassidy would have parents too, Julia realised after a moment of
reflection, parents who might be more similar to the MacLeods than to her own.
She had been a little afraid for Alexander's sake, but of course his parents
were not so poor or unrefined as to be completely out of their depth. They
might well be the social leaders of their little village, although never in
fashion. Mrs. Hendry would not have sponsored any labourer's son, she supposed,
but she would have to ask Alexander about it later, when it no longer seemed
condescending to ask.
"Is
it better than you had expected?" Alexander asked his mother when they had
all seated themselves at the table. He had not heard her speak much so far. She
had only replied to Julia.
"I
imagine that one could live comfortably enough here," she answered
cautiously. "But two..."
"Agreeable
company is never in the way, Mother, and Julia is not always in the
cabin."
"Lady
Julia is becoming very proficient with the sextant and maps," said
Cassidy.
"My
father used to be a captain and the atlas used to be my favourite book,
Cassidy," Julia said modestly. "Even if my calculations go wrong I
have a fairly good idea of where I am."
"It
explains quite a lot that that used to be your favourite book," Alexander
commented. She had run away to see the world.
"Does
it?" she said with a knowing smile. "I shall, however, endeavour to
read all of A Guide for the Young Wife before our voyage is at an end. I
am certain it will become my new favourite book."
Burton
and Cassidy looked amazed, whereas Mr. and Mrs. MacLeod looked more approving
of such zeal.
"I
am certain you will benefit greatly from its wisdom," Alexander said with
a nod. He caught a puzzled look from Burton that did not surprise him. After
ascertaining that his parents would not see it, he gave Burton a wink. Perhaps
he could be shown the moral tract in question later on, since he would
undoubtedly be unable to guess.
Dinner
had gone tolerably well, Julia thought. They had not really touched on any of
the divisive issues, probably because Burton and Cassidy had been present to
lighten the atmosphere. Even if this had been a rather artificial construction
of Alexander's to ensure that he did not sail with negative feelings, she would
say it had worked.
His
parents would now also have seen how he interacted with his officers. She
supposed he had not invited them for that reason, but it was quite good
nevertheless. Sometimes she had looked at him in admiration for a particular
comment and once or twice he had caught her eye and he had smiled. It had been
relieved and grateful smiles, rather than truly happy ones, but at this moment
they could not expect for more.
Next
time the ship was here and they had more time, he would notify his parents of
that and they could travel here again. Perhaps their opinion would have been
adjusted then and they would be over the first shock of finding their son
married to such an unsuitable woman.
She
hoped she had become less unsuitable, trying to be tactful and very supportive
of Mac, calling him Alexander when she needed to use his name. If her brothers
had seen this, they would again have said she was imitating Mama, although she
had been trying to be more like her grandmother.
Now
that he was no longer an unmarried captain in charge of an unmarried girl, Mac
proved to be quite unsuitable himself, Julia mused. "If your parents had
had a daughter, they would certainly not have allowed her to marry someone like
you," she commented when his parents had left them, with an escort that
would see them safely to their inn.
"Why
not?" he wondered. He thought he had behaved himself well. Julia had
looked as if he did and his parents had almost looked appreciative when they
left.
"Take
that guide, for instance."
"Captain,"
Burton interrupted. "Why did you wink at me when the guide came up?
Although, my apologies for saying so, Her Ladyship tends not to behave in
accordance with any guides for young women, you are not the sort who would
force her to read such a book."
"I
would, Burton," he replied seriously. Julia was almost unable to speak
because she was giggling. He stifled a chuckle himself now. "I wrote
--"
"You
wrote one?" Burton and Cassidy cried in unison.
"No
more than a page so far!" he hastened to say. "But my wife has
already pressed for more." He drew a folded sheet out of his pocket and
handed it to them. "You will not get to read the work when it is
completed, since you will never be wives. Perhaps Julia will write something
for husbands one day."
The End
© 2005 Copyright held by the
author.