The Price of a Good Education

    By Katharine T

    Beginning, Next Section

    Chapter 1

    Posted on 2009-03-17

    The truth was, Nora didn't know if she wanted to go to college. People assumed that she did – they thought she'd be going with her cousins, or they hinted in tones of compassion that no doubt she could get a scholarship to State. Everyone knew she couldn't pay for college. That much, at least, was fact, not assumption.

    Mrs. Young, the guidance counselor, was puzzled to know quite what to do with Nora Worth. Surprisingly, Nora did not seem as enthusiastic as you might expect her to be – after all, everybody said she was a great scholar.

    "It's February, you know, Nora," she said. "I do understand this is a very difficult decision, but I'd encourage you to start making some serious progress in your applications."

    "I'm not sure I want to go to college," Nora said.

    "You shouldn't worry too much about the – um, the financial end of things. I know that's a concern for some students. You do realize, Nora, that with your grades there are scholarships and grants available everywhere? I should be able to help you find some that you may not have realized were open to you."

    "Well, yes, but actually my SAT scores aren't that good –"

    "I'd just hate to see you miss out on these opportunities. Many top schools have an application deadline. Were you aware of that?"

    Top schools! Nora sighed. "Yes, I am –"

    "I'm not trying to pressure you, Nora, but everyone in your class has made plans for next year, even those who are just going on to the community college." Mrs. Young lowered her voice confidingly. "And we know that you can aspire higher than that, don't we? Now, fortunately, a lot of late application deadlines aren't until May, so that shouldn't be a problem for you – but you should finish your application right away so you don't have to wonder if all your classmates will be leaving without you."

    "All right – thanks for talking with me, Mrs. Young."

    "I just want you to understand how important this point is for you," Mrs. Young insisted.

    Nora squirmed inwardly. "I do understand, and thanks again."

    Gratefully, she heard the bell ring distantly. She didn't think she could stand under the pressure of any more friendly persuasion. As it was, she'd barely time to get to her locker before English, and she was already too late to avoid the blast of noise and inexorable crowds. She'd hoped to have time to gather her thoughts after the meeting. The very idea of college made her stomach flip. She disliked high school enough – any one else would have called it hate – and wasn't college just a bigger, more demanding, more sophisticated kind of high school?

    English was her favorite class at the moment, since they were doing Henry James. Steinbeck came next and she knew she was going to hate Steinbeck. She'd already tried reading East of Eden at the library and it had depressed her so much she had to go home and devour half the Anne books before she regained equilibrium. But alas for Nora's troubled spirits, today English dragged on with all the momentum of a cruise ship on dry sand. Unfortunately Nora was the only soul in the classroom who happened to like "The Real Thing" and Nora herself was still thinking about college, her thoughts roiled up and her emotions disordered. She sat mutely through the endless deadly silences as Mr. Thompson tried to extract from his stolid class any sign of comprehending the underlying theme of seeming versus reality.

    Home at last, Nora fled straight to her room, half-ashamed of the instant feeling of relief that Ruthie was still at band practice. The closed door muted the banging and shouting of her younger brothers playing soccer in the dining room, and an empty room and a closed door were the closest approximation to solitude and silence anyone might expect to find in the Worth house. She snatched at the nearest Dickens and collapsed backwards onto her bed.

    "NORA! DINNER!" screamed several voices, snatching her from a London debtor's prison with an unpleasant jerk. Dinner was best eaten as quickly as possible, and Nora usually retired back to her room after it was over, on the plea of homework; though in truth she usually spent most of the night guiltily rereading a hundred pages of Alcott instead of a hundred pages of World Culture: Social and Political Implications. Tonight, however, her mother halted the retreat as Nora gathered her dirty dishes from the table.

    "Nora? Don't throw your potatoes, Abby, sweetie. Your father and I want to talk to you after dinner." Correctly interpreted as applying to herself and not the scowling Abby, this last announcement sent a creeping dread through Nora's heart. She guessed instantly that Mrs. Young, with admirable concern for her students, must have called her parents to inform them that Nora was dawdling with her college applications. She'd only just survived that meeting, but a serious talk with her parents was sure to make her cry – she could feel the threatening prick of tears behind the bridge of her nose already.

    "So, Nora," began Mrs. Worth when the rest of the company had retired from the table (though only to the family room just behind them, not out of earshot if it were not for the argument Justin and Mark were having over the chore of doing the dishes) – "Nora, we want to talk to you. We need to discuss college with you." She serenely ignored the crash of something from the kitchen. Mrs. Worth was unshakeable in her own way.

    "You know Megan and Jessie are going to Douglas University – that's where Tim and James go, too. And then we got such a nice call today from Bill Bayfield – It would be so nice for you to be there with them. You could, um, help each other with your schoolwork and things. Wouldn't that be nice? Very generous, isn't it? We owe so much to your uncle Bill --"

    Nora looked at her blankly. She had no idea what her mother was saying.

    "Bill offered to pay for your college education," interrupted her father impatiently.

    Nora moved her hands and then put them back in her lap. Her mother's meanderings must have confused her – she hadn't just heard what she thought she'd heard.

    "– all of it, but only if you go to Douglas," continued her mother without a pause. "You must go there, he said. You know how he loves his old school – but that won't matter, because you wanted to go there anyway. Such a shame for you to be separated from Jessie and Megan, you used to get along so well when you were kids. And Tim and James are such nice boys – at least, I don't know them very well because they're not around very often anymore, but everyone says they're very good kids, and they were so well behaved at Bill and Elle's wedding, so handsome in their little tuxes. Of course that was years ago now, but they are very nice boys. I do think Bill is kind, when you're not even his blood relation, although you are a niece by marriage, but not his first marriage, and he has his own kids you know –"

    "Not crying now, are you, Norrie?" shouted her father. "Come on, girl, you want to go to college, don't you? Always reading –"

    Nora found that everything was made easy. She wrote a very stiff and half-hearted essay on her application, all about the great beauty of learning and how it tied in to the goodness of humanity and how humbled and awed she was by both. She hated herself for writing it. Mrs. Young suggested that she write about being the first person in her family to go to college, but Nora absolutely refused to do that. It wasn't even true: both her aunts had gone to college, and all her cousins were going, and her own mother could have gone too, if she hadn't fallen quite so madly and stupidly in love. But no – she shouldn't have thought of her mother as stupid. Trucking was a perfectly respectable profession, and her father had worked very hard before the accident, and she knew that her parents were proud of having a child going to college.

    All the same, how else to account for her mother's choice? Both her aunts had found what Nora's books might have called good marriages: Aunt Doris to a well-respected author and scholar, Dr. Phillip Graham; and Aunt Elle to the wealthy and widowed Bill Bayfield. Her own mother's match with an uneducated truck driver was a family embarrassment to this day, as Nora knew very well despite the fact that no one talked about it.

    But of course she didn't say any of those things to Mrs. Young. She just thanked her for the advice, and wrote her prim little essay. And she was accepted instantly. Nora wondered how it worked: did Uncle Bill just casually call up the admissions department and give instructions? Or maybe they already knew, with the speed of rumor: "The Worth application is to be accepted." She imaged the entire staff of Douglas University whispering her name to each other–but that was really a bit too depressing, not to mention paranoia-inducing.

    At least Mrs. Young was happy; her advice had borne such glorious fruit! As a matter of fact everyone was happy but Nora. Her parents were pleased, obviously; and her sister Ruthie was in awe. And Nora was made to call Uncle Bill Bayfield to thank him for his generosity. She had for some reason always disliked phone conversations – so awkward when the other person answered and you couldn't be quite sure who it was, and then you had to improvise and no matter what you said, you sounded childish – but of course it would be terrible to seem ungrateful. She did realize that Uncle Bill was being incredibly kind. So she called and Uncle Bill was happiest of all.

    "Very glad I thought of it – so much better for everyone. No, it's no trouble at all, Nora. Of course I don't expect you to pay me back, don't be ridiculous. I know what a good education will do for you: I feel confident you'll be the kind of person who can take advantage of it. And I expect you to be a good influence on my girls."

    He said this half-jokingly, but Nora was not amused. She was the last person in the world to have any influence over Megan and Jessie. They despised her – understandably. Nora had fairly good grades in most subjects, not that it was very difficult to get them at her school, but that was about it. She had no accomplishments and no friends. Jessie, on the other hand, was a top volleyball player and set to be the valedictorian at the elite private school the cousins attended. Megan was an honor student and on the prom committee and held some kind of class office, Nora could never remember exactly what. She had heard it so many times she'd started to block it out. Yes, they were so very likely to listen to her.

    As a matter of fact, she was completely shocked when Megan called the next week, and Jess the week after that, and one or both of them at least once a week for the next several months.

    "Nora, did you get that letter about class schedules?" Jessie would ask. "Who do you have? Dad says to switch to Dr. Jones for Intro to History, then."

    It didn't take long to figure out that they were being instructed to call her. Nora could imagine her Aunt Elle's honey-slow voice: "Now girls, call Nora right away, and make sure she knows about it too."

    She was even assigned the same dorm as her cousins, not in the same room, thank goodness, but next door to them. She couldn't help but wonder if Uncle Bill had something to do with that, too. The rooms were doubles, and Nora's assigned roommate was a person called Jacqueline Cadwell. There was a phone number on the slip that came in the mail, but Nora decided they might as well just get to know each other in person. It was bad enough calling people she knew for awkward conversations; she wasn't going to call some random girl from halfway across the country, just to introduce herself. What could they possibly say? You were better off knowing as little as possible about your future roommate, Nora concluded, since you weren't allowed to switch roommates in the first semester. She hardly dared to hope that they would end up being friends; it was enough to pray that they'd at least get along.

    In a way it was a relief that Uncle Bill and Aunt Elle offered to take Nora to college, since it was only forty minutes out of their way. Nora was sorry to miss out on having her parents move her in and tour the campus and kiss her good bye – but it was a theoretical sorrow, based on Nora's ideal of what going off to college should be like. In reality she knew her father would have been loud and embarrassing and would have criticized everything from the dorm floorplan to the convocation speaker. And her mother would have insisted on bringing all her siblings, and then she would have been too busy making sure Abby didn't wander across campus to really say goodbye properly.

    Of course there was enough room, as Uncle Bill said jovially, for Nora's stuff in his new Escalade, since Tim and James were each driving their own cars. And sure enough, her meager pile – two duffel bags, some boxes with her books and desk supplies – seemed small enough beside Megan and Jessie's furnishings. For a minute it almost looked as if there wouldn't be enough space after all.

    "I've got plenty of room in the Volvo," her cousin James said. "I left most of my things at the house over the summer. That mini-fridge could go in my back seat, and probably those computer boxes too."

    "Thanks, James," said Uncle Bill. "All right, that looks like everything. Ready to go, Nora?"

    "Call us when you get settled," said her mother, hugging her. "Abby, honey, come here. Say goodbye to your sister. Justin, give her a hug."

    Nora was crying. She couldn't help it; she had meant not to, but it wasn't a thing she could control, much as she would like to. "Chris – Ruthie – you have to email me every day –"

    "Aw, Norrie, stop worrying," said Chris. "You stay out of trouble."

    She smiled, trying to wipe her streaming eyes. Chris was her favorite brother.

    "They're waiting for you," pointed out Ruthie practically. "You'll see us at fall break. Go on."

    It was true, everyone was standing by the cars, with fixed smiles, trying not to look impatient. Nora climbed into the Escalade. She waved through the open window until they turned the corner.

    Douglas was a four hours' drive away, and Nora sniffled at intervals almost the whole way. She despised herself almost as much as she could see Megan and Jessie were despising her, but it was impossible to stop. College was going to be awful, she could feel it.

    Chapter 2

    Posted on 2009-03-24

    The smaller freshman girls' dorm was a long, low, exceedingly ugly brick building. It dated from the fifties, and some architect with no self-respect had designed it so there were no windows on the outside facade but only on the walls facing the central courtyard between its two wings. But it was not nearly so forbidding once you got through the front doors. The high-ceilinged lobby was full of shabby, saggy furniture; the stairs were wide; and the unattractive paneling had been painted a warm gold.

    Nora's room, and Megan and Jessie's, were in the south wing on the upper floor. The rooms were tiny with ancient built-in desks, beds, and closets, and there was no air conditioning. But apparently there was some sort of grand Douglas University tradition attached to living in Pieper, because Uncle Bill kept telling them how lucky they were to be assigned rooms there instead of in the huge modern dorm down the street.

    "Dad just wants to lock up his babies in ol' Maximum Security Pieper," snickered Tim, depositing several boxes on Megan's unmade bed, after Uncle Bill had gone to talk to the resident director.

    "Don't be offensive, Tim," said James.

    "Wait - what did you call it?" demanded Jessie and Megan together. Nora looked up too. Since it hadn't taken long to bring in her luggage, she was now helping stack some of Jessie's boxes on the desk.

    James sighed. "Some people like to refer to this dorm as 'Maximum Security Pieper'," he explained. "It's stupid, not to mention insulting, but you can understand why. It only has one entrance, besides the emergency door at the back, and no outside windows. And because it's all-freshman, the visiting hours are stricter here than in any other dorm - there's an RA on duty every evening guarding the front lobby."

    "Take a look around, girls," smirked Tim. "After move-in day they close this place down and lock you in your little cells. Don't expect to see another male face in here until spring."

    Megan groaned and Jessie rolled her eyes.

    Nora said nothing. She wasn't going to complain about living in a girls-only dorm, but she doubted her cousins wanted her opinion on the matter. But when she turned her head, she caught a friendly smile from James - she might almost have said sympathetic. If only she had the self-possession to smile back at him before he looked away.

    "Pieper really is a good place to live your first year," he said in a tone of sage advice. "It's livelier than McDonnell even though it's a little shabbier around the edges. And the resident director knows everyone. You'll like it."

    "James, you are so full of it. Like you know it all. You have your own house," Megan retorted in disgust.

    Uncle Bill reappeared, towing Aunt Elle behind him as usual. "I think that's it. We've just been talking to the director - she's an institution here. I've told her to keep an eye on you kids."

    Jessie put her head in her hands with a dramatic sigh. "Oh, Dad!"

    "Now, Jess. Just making sure you're okay. We'd stay and take you to freshman convocation and make sure you find your mentor groups, but I have an early meeting tomorrow. Think you'll be all right on your own?"

    "Yes, Dad."

    "We'll be fine. Go ahead."

    "Are you sure?" Aunt Elle hesitated.

    "Yes, Mom!"

    But Aunt Elle insisted on hugging and kissing everyone, including Nora, before they finally left. Tim said he had stuff to do, and James admitted he should go unload his own things at their house.

    "Call me if you need anything," he said from around the door.

    "I'd better go back next door and unpack or something," Nora said awkwardly, after a pause.

    "Has your roommate arrived yet?" Megan asked. "We have to meet her - she'll be our neighbor after all."

    "We can help you unpack while we wait," suggested Jess.

    Oh good. Megan and Jessie pawing through her clothes was exactly the thing to cheer her up on her first night away from home. Fortunately for Nora's self-respect, they didn't have to wait long for her roommate. Nora was putting supplies in her desk drawer, and Megan and Jessie were reclining against her duffel bags, idly removing a few sweaters (thank goodness she hadn't packed underwear on top), when a girl came around the corner into view.

    Jacqueline was very petite with very curly dark hair, and she was lugging two enormous suitcases with an energy that belied her size. "Hello! Which one of you is Nora?"

    "I am -" began Nora, too softly to be heard.

    "She is," Jessie interrupted. "We're her cousins; we're right next door to you."

    "Nice to meet you. I'm Jackie." She shook hands with all three of them, ending with Nora. "Are you twins? How awesome to already have neighbors, too. We're so lucky to get Pieper."

    "That's what my uncle -"

    "That's what Dad kept saying! Is it really so great?"

    "Oh, I assumed you'd know about Pieper," Jackie said. "With so many of you here I thought you were another 'Douglas family', like ours."

    "We are," said Megan. "But my older brother keeps calling it 'Maximum Security' and saying we'll never see a male face again."

    "And Tim is always to be trusted," muttered Nora.

    Jackie must have heard, because she caught Nora's eye, laughing. "I heard a different story from my brother. He's a junior. What year is yours?"

    "We have two brothers here, actually," said Jess. "Tim's a senior and James is a junior too."

    "I'll have to ask Lee if he knows them. Well, I still have some things in the car."

    "We can help," offered Nora.

    "Sure," agreed Jessie. "Oh, come on, Megan, don't be a snob," she added, as her sister looked reluctant.

    Megan rolled off the bed and followed them downstairs. "I suppose I could carry a few things, but we need time to get dressed for freshman convocation."

    "We have plenty of time before convocation yet, and the packet said you don't have to dress up for it, anyway."

    "But I'm tired of carrying boxes, and you never know whom you might meet - ooh, Jackie, is that your own car?"

    "Didn't your parents bring you?"

    "Dad couldn't come," said Jackie from halfway into the trunk. Something in her voice sounded muffled in a way that wasn't just being half-buried in bags of bedding. Nora gave a cautioning glance at her cousins, but Jessie's curiosity combined with the notorious Bayfield lack of tact was too much.

    "That's weird. What about your mom?"

    "She's dead."

    "Oh - I didn't know - I'm sorry -" Jessie was abashed.

    "Of course you didn't know," snapped Jackie. "It was years ago."

    "Let's go," interposed Nora hastily. "It would be nice to get all of Jackie's things up to our room before convocation, or we'll have to come back later and do it."

    Nora's first class on Monday was Intro to Religion. It was part of the required curriculum at Douglas, and since she had no idea what to major in, her advisor had told her just to take the standard classes for her first semester. Besides Religion, she had a History survey class, the non-science-major section of Biology 101, Intro to World Literature, and Economics. None of it sounded very interesting, except literature, and if they were reading things like Steinbeck even that could be painful.

    As for Religion, Nora had grown up going to church and she believed in God, but she had a vague idea that the class would involve mostly memorizing dates of ecclesiastical councils. She found out how wrong she was in the first two minutes of the class.

    "Do you know what you believe?" demanded Dr. Weston, having marked attendance and passed out copies of the syllabus. The class was silent. The girl next to Nora had jumped slightly.

    "Do you really know? Have you weighed the options? Or do you just accept what you are told?"

    The class had decided that these must be rhetorical questions. Nora sat with her pen poised over her crisp new notebook, but she wasn't sure what notes to take, exactly.

    "Let's take a poll," suggested Dr. Weston. "How many believe in prayer? Raise your hands - come on. Hmm. Most of you believe in prayer. So what does that mean?"

    This, unfortunately, did not appear to be rhetorical. Dr. Weston sat on the edge of his desk and waited for an answer. "It means believing God answers prayer?" ventured someone from behind Nora after a long silence.

    "Is that a question, or an answer? All right, all right. God answers prayer. How do you know that?"

    "You pray for something, and you hear an answer," said the same voice, more confidently.

    "Hearing voices," said Dr. Weston, moving toward the chalkboard.

    "No! That's not what I meant!"

    "What do you mean, then? Let me help you out. What I am looking for is a coherent, rational answer. I am not here to teach you what to believe. But I am here to teach you to think critically, to be able to defend your own opinions, to stand up for what you believe using the brains God gave you. All of you do believe God gave you brains, right?"

    There was a cautious spurt of laughter. Nora sank down in her chair, wishing she hadn't sat near the front. She wouldn't have raised her hand for any money.

    "Now," continued Dr. Weston. "Who can explain what an answer to prayer is like? Yes, you in front."

    "It's like, you might pray for, say, a new car because you might really need one to get to work, and then you find the perfect car for sale, or your grandma gives you money, or something like that." It was the boy sitting to Nora's right. His answer made sense to Nora, but Dr. Weston wasn't satisfied.

    "So is answered prayer all about getting things like cars, then? Would your grandma have given you the money even if you didn't need a car? What if you needed a car, and your grandma knew it, but you didn't pray for it? Would she not give you the money, because you didn't pray, or would she still give it to you? And if she did, how would you know the difference between an answer to prayer and something that just happened through natural cause and effect, such as your grandma giving money to her grandchildren?"

    After class Nora walked across the quad toward the student union and the cafeteria. She wasn't entirely sure she liked Dr. Weston, but she reminded herself that at least this most definitely had not resembled any of her high school classes.

    There was a line forming outside the cafeteria already, as all the ten-o'clock classes got out at the same time, and lunch began serving at 11:15. Nora had hoped to eat early and maybe have time to stop by the computer lab to check her email before her afternoon class; so she lined up too, feeling awkward to be all by herself in the overwhelming cacophony of talking and laughing. She distracted herself by observing the other students in line. So far all her worst suspicions about going to Douglas had been confirmed. All the girls in the freshman class could have been a hundred and fifty little Jessie and Megan clones. There were Banana Republic t-shirts and J Crew sweaters everywhere she looked. And although she wasn't knowledgeable enough to pick out the origins of the jeans, they looked expensive too.

    It was, apparently, the custom at Douglas for everyone to dump their bags along the walls of the wide hallways as they went into the cafeteria, and retrieve them when finished eating. Nora followed suit, wincing a little at the sight of her seventh-grade bright aqua backpack against all the leather and earth-tone-canvas messenger bags. At least, she thought, it would be easy to find again when she came out.

    After two days of meals in the cafeteria she had already learned to check the silverware in the bin for dried-on food, and to dread the moment at the end of the buffet line when she had to figure out where to sit. The cafeteria roared with waves of sound and if you stood too long looking lost and helpless you were not only embarrassed, but likely to be jostled and bumped. Nora scanned the room frantically and gave an actual gasp of relief when she saw Jessie sitting near the back at an empty table.

    "Thank God!" said Jessie with equal relief, as Nora sat down. "It makes you look so creepy when you sit by yourself."

    "You must have been nearly first in line," Nora said. "I thought I was early."

    "Volleyball practice at noon," explained Jessie between bites of macaroni and cheese. "I wanted to beat the rush, so I left the library early. I won't do that again - I'd rather be late for practice than sit here by myself." She shuddered.

    "I was thinking I'd go to the computer lab on my way to my next class," said Nora, just to make conversation.

    Jessie gave her a blank look. "I suppose you don't have your own computer, but why don't you use Jackie's? Oh come on, Nora, don't be so shy. I'm sure she wouldn't care. Look, here she comes with Megan: you can ask her."

    Nora squirmed. It wasn't that she thought Jackie would be reluctant to share her computer, but she hated asking people for things, especially picky, unimportant things.

    "Jackie, Nora needs to use your computer," Jessie said as they sat down, without waiting for pleasantries.

    "Sure," said Jackie, dismantling the overcooked turkey entrιe and constructing a sandwich with its various parts. "Any time, Nora. You don't have assignments already, do you?"

    "No, I just wanted to email my parents," she mumbled.

    "Well, I was having trouble with the network connection, but you're welcome to try it."

    "I'll just stop by the computer lab on the way to my next class, but thanks, maybe when they get the connections working better," Nora said, reprieved for the moment. She caught Jessie rolling her eyes, but she didn't care. The whole stupid conversation was embarrassing.

    She rescued by the minor distraction of James joining their table.

    "How are your classes going?" he leaned over to ask her.

    "Fine, but I've just had Intro to Religion so far - I came straight from that," began Nora.

    "Lucky!" put in Megan. "One ten-o'clock class? You can sleep in all semester."

    "I like to get up for breakfast, though -" said Nora, but Megan was on a roll.

    "I've had three classes already this morning! Eight o'clock science with Dr. Matthews, could there be a more depressing way to start your freshman year? Econ at nine isn't much better. And to top it all off, Jackie and I both have history with Jones at ten, and he's always going to go overtime, I can see it already. I'll never get to lunch before the crowds. You'd think Daddy personally arranged my schedule on purpose to build character or something."

    James laughed at her. "The lunch crowds even out after first couple of weeks, as everyone works out their schedule. Besides, I happen to know you don't have any afternoon classes, so now you get the rest of the day off. No sympathies from me. Try going to Early Church History right after lunch, and then we'll see."

    "Early Church History? - Is that a Religion department class, or a History one?" Jackie asked him, leaning forward to see around Nora.

    "It's a seminar co-taught by Hoffman and Lance, so - both."

    "Which one is your major?"

    "Both again - I'm double-majoring."

    "Really?" Jackie sounded vaguely shocked. "Why'd you pick that combination?"

    "Practically everyone at Douglas double-majors in History," James defended himself. Nora wasn't sure why there was any need for defense, or why Jackie seemed so scandalized. "Isn't your own brother doing the same thing, Jackie? Lee Cadwell is your brother, right? I've had some history classes with him."

    "International studies is an interdisciplinary major," Jackie said. "That's not exactly the same thing as History and Religion."

    James chose to ignore this. "Someone told me Lee's in France now - the whole year, or just this semester?"

    "Actually, it was last semester, and then a summer term, but he took some extra time to travel, so he's missing the first few weeks of this semester. Not that any one could blame him for missing a couple of classes when he has an opportunity to see France. Actually he'd have liked to stay longer. Getting a little more intimately acquainted with the French culture, or so he says." She laughed and rolled her eyes at the same time. Jessie and Megan giggled.

    "He tells you about that?" Megan asked, either intrigued or disgusted, or both.

    "Well, not the details, of course. His emails are always pretty short. But he mentions a lot of drinking and parties, and lots of staying over with people named Juliette. I'm not exactly sure whether she was a student or not."

    Jackie's tone left little room for interpretation. Nora decided she'd rather not hear any more about Lee Cadwell's personal exploits in France. She barely knew his sister as it was. Anyway it was already a quarter after twelve and if she wanted to write a nice long email to Ruthie, she'd better go.

    Chapter 3

    Posted on 2009-04-01

    The computer lab was more crowded than Nora had expected. Apparently she wasn't the only one without a personal laptop, after all. She had to wait a few minutes for a space to open up, and after that, it looked like the login password she'd been given wasn't going to work. She triple checked the string of digits against the slip of paper from orientation, typed it in very carefully one more time, and the login screen locked her out. Nora could feel her face getting hot with frustration. After a minute, she looked around for the lab monitor, but he was talking to a girl in the front row. She breathed in hard, hoping not to disgrace herself by crying in public again.

    "Nora?" said a male voice behind her. "Are you okay? I was just passing by and thought I'd make sure you found your way. What's the matter?"

    It was James. Nora gestured at the screen wordlessly, still trying to force back tears.

    "Yeah, they do that all time. I think the IT department likes to play tricks on freshman, just to make their lives difficult. The monitor should be able to reset it. Where – oh." James skirted around the next row and grabbed the other student by the arm. "Hey, Parsons, stop flirting and try to work on some customer service over here. Your evil login screen is locking my cousin out."

    The monitor eyed Nora. "Do you still have your password from orientation?" he asked in a tone somewhere between bored and business-like.

    "Yes – but I've already tried it –"

    "Come on, Ted," put in James. "Don't give her a hard time. Just reset it."

    "All right," said Ted, sounding more human. "Sorry, it's just that they're having us go through certain steps, supposedly to analyze the problem. I told them the problem is their method, but do they listen?" he grumbled as he put in an administrator password. "That's Douglas for you – always pick the most inefficient way to do anything. They set up all these new passwords and then copy them all by hand for orientation and some of them always get written in wrong… Why they don't just export from the database… There, you can pick a new password now, and you should be set."

    "Thanks," said Nora. "I really appreciate it."

    "'s my job," mumbled Ted.

    "And James –" she turned, but he was at the door already. He looked back over his shoulder, nodded, and gave her a thumbs-up. She put all her gratitude into her smile.

    Nora had two afternoon classes, but she was done at three. She had to admit to herself that it was pleasant walking back to her dorm across the campus in the warm afternoon. It was still and humid, and five guys in shorts and not much else were playing Ultimate Frisbee in the quad. A couple of girls were reading on the benches by the student union. It was more like her idea of college than anything yet.

    Jackie was back at their room already; she had unpacked her CDs and was blasting some music Nora didn't recognize, while trying to crank open the antiquated windows as far as they would go. "Hey Nora," she said over her shoulder. "Help me with this, will you? It's like an oven in here, and these things stick. Ow!" She broke off, shaking her hand.

    "You're a lot stronger than I am, but I'll give it a try," said Nora, dumping her bag on the foot of her bed. It ended up taking both of them to wrench open the window. They both collapsed on their beds.

    "Now if only we had a fan…" moaned Jackie. "God, it's like a sauna in here."

    "Jess and Megan have one, I think."

    "Are they back yet? Let's go crash their party."

    It was marginally cooler in the next room, but both the girls were wearing the smallest possible tops and shorts. Nora eyed them, and wondered how it felt to display that much skin. Not that she wanted to, of course – but her t-shirt felt heavy and clumsy on her shoulders in the heat.

    "Hey girls, you look hot," said Jackie in a mock-sultry voice.

    "What's up?" said Jessie. Megan was painting her toenails with her foot propped up on her desk, and didn't look up.

    "We don't have a fan," explained Nora. "It's absolutely stifling in our room."

    "Have a seat, floor or bed, your choice," offered Jessie. "You can help us decide what to wear tonight."

    "Casual, but cute," advised Jackie.

    "You think shorts then, or skirt?" asked Megan.

    Nora had no idea what they were talking about, but it occurred to her that it would be better to ask now and look silly, than to end up involved in something she knew nothing about, later on. "What's tonight?" she asked.

    Megan did look up, at that. "Do you walk around in a fog, Nora? Honestly."

    "Not everyone memorizes the Orientation social calendar like you, Megan," Jackie defended her roommate. "There's a tent party tonight. It may not be very exciting, but we thought we'd go and scope out the guys, anyway. Some of the sophomores are going too – and I asked James to go with us."

    "James is going?" Nora repeated. Somehow she hadn't thought a tent party would be James' scene. But maybe she was projecting her own preferences; just because he seemed to agree with her about some things didn't necessarily mean he hated parties, too.

    "Everyone is. So you'd better make up your mind what you're going to wear."

    "I have some reading to do, I'd better not," Nora excused herself.

    "Oh, come on, you can't be serious!"

    "I'd really rather do my homework."

    "You do realize that you'll be the one and only person on campus who feels obligated to do her reading on the first day of classes?"

    "Oh, give it up, Jackie," put in Megan. "You'll never get Nora to a party. She might faint if she saw people having fun."

    Nora flushed, but said nothing. Jackie rolled her eyes. "You really should come, Nora. I'd hate to leave you behind. Come on, please?"

    Jackie was trying to be nice, Nora could tell, but if she gave in this time she'd be expected to go with them to every event Megan thought was a good opportunity to meet guys. Since Jackie really had good intentions, she made an effort to explain. "Despite what Megan says, I have gone to parties before in high school and I never had any fun. I'm not outgoing like you, and it's hard for me to talk to people I don't know well. Really, it'll be better without me – I'd just get in the way."

    Jackie begged a few more times, but in such a way it was clear she just didn't understand, not that she was making fun. Finally she gave up, but Megan and Jessie were highly amused and they kept dropping hints about it the rest of the afternoon. "Sure you don't want to go, Nora?" they kept asking. "Yeah, you could wear my pink cami," Jessie would suggest. Then they both giggled until they couldn't breathe.

    When they finally departed, with a last mocking "Have fun reading" from Megan, Nora said a silent prayer of gratitude and put on the soundtrack from The Last of the Mohicans, which was her favorite for studying. Even Jackie had really been getting to her, trying on every pair of shorts in her closet. They were still scattered over her side of the room.

    She'd only just started on her assigned excerpts from The Epic of Gilgamesh when there was a sharp knock on the half open door, and Mrs. Barnes poked her head around the door. Mrs. Barnes was the house mother, but Nora hadn't officially met her yet although she'd seen her in the hallway.

    "Nora, right? What are you doing here all by yourself?"

    "I'm doing my homework," said Nora, gesturing with the massive Norton Anthology and wondering that it wasn't pretty obvious what she was doing.

    "All the other girls have gone to the freshman tent party," remarked Mrs. Barnes, smilingly. "Why didn't you go?"

    "I'd really rather stay here," said Nora.

    "I think it would be better if you go to the party," said Mrs. Barnes.

    "Thank you, but I'm all right."

    "You go to the party. I don't like to have my girls moping around, getting homesick. I've never had a problem with homesickness here. I have to make the shy ones go, but they thank me later. Go on, now."

    "Really, I'm not homesick, I'd just rather not – I'm much happier here –" Nora was beginning to feel panicky.

    "Well, I can't force you, of course," Mrs. Barnes snapped out, still smiling. "But if you refuse to go, why don't you come along and help me. I don't allow my girls to mope."

    Clearly there was not much of a choice. She didn't want to be branded as the "mopey one" before her first week was even out. Nora put her anthology down and followed Mrs. Barnes downstairs.

    "If you don't mind getting my laundry out of the dryer for me – I have a bad back – we can chat while we fold."

    Oh boy. Tent parties were suddenly sounding pretty good.

    Chapter 4

    Posted on 2009-04-07

    Friday afternoon after her classes, Nora waited rather morosely in the student union before the cafeteria opened for dinner. There was a raucous group watching The Simpsons on the big screen TV, and she hated The Simpsons. There was going to be some kind of freshman-class picnic on Sunday, and she would be forced to go, or spend the evening doing Mrs. Barnes's laundry again. And she was nervous about writing her first paper – it was for Dr. Janssen, who had strict and rather peculiar requirements, starting with how many spaces to put between your name and the title of your paper, not to mention the actual content.

    So far, college was fulfilling all her unpleasant expectations: she could see the next four years stretching before her, a repetition of the last four years of high school, only with more work. And instead of staying away from the clique of preppy rich kids, she was unavoidably surrounded by them. She had nothing in common with anyone here. None of the girls in the dorm talked about anything but makeup, as far as she could tell; and as for boys – they were right out. Nora was afraid of them anyway. No, it was hopeless. If she couldn't make friends in high school, she'd never make friends at Douglas.

    "Hey Nora."

    It was James. Why did he always have to appear when she was on the point of tears?

    "How are classes? You've had a week now – do you like them?" he asked, sitting down beside her on the garishly striped student union sofa.

    She tried to smile. "They're all right, I guess. I know I don't like science –"

    "Well, that's a given," laughed James. "Nobody would guess you for anything but a humanities person. Don't you have Religion? I thought I heard you say something about it the other day."

    "Yes, with Weston. I'm not sure at all about that one."

    "You have Weston?" James's face lit up.

    "You like him, then?"

    "He's my favorite professor of all time!"

    Nora didn't know what to say.

    "Go on, why don't you like him?" James asked. "I know he seems a little harsh when you're not used to his style."

    "I didn't say I don't like him, exactly," protested Nora. "I don't know what it is – I just don't know what to make of him at all."

    "Is it his way of asking questions that bothers you?"

    "Well – yes, in a way. He seems to enjoy pushing people. It's like he wants to make sure everyone feels completely stupid. I wonder if he believes anything himself."

    "I've had three classes with him," said James. "Well, four if you count the one I'm taking right now. I'm going to take him whenever I possibly can. And I can tell you, he believes a lot of things – but you have to understand that he thinks people should believe with their whole selves: intellect as well as heart. He purposely plays devil's advocate, especially with the freshman classes, because he wants to make people think about why they believe certain things, instead of just making assumptions because of their upbringing. He teaches people to use their minds. That's why I like him."

    "Well," said Nora slowly. "Okay. I guess I can see that point."

    "Wait until you have the class discussion on Christianity and legalism. That's the one that made me a lifelong Weston fan. Oh, and just a tip for you: I know it's intimidating to speak up, but if you want a decent grade in his class, you have to participate the discussions."

    Nora didn't know about that. She gave James a skeptical look. "I could try."

    "You don't have to have all the answers," James assured her. "Actually he likes it even better if you ask lots of questions."

    "Okay, I'll remember that," said Nora. She still wasn't sure about speaking up in class, but she felt his kindness to the depths of her heart. She smiled at him. "Thanks, James!"

    He smiled back at her. "I'm glad if I can help. I know it's difficult to get used to everything at once, and whatever my sister thinks, you probably have the hardest-hitting schedule of all. I mean, Janssen and Weston in one semester!"

    Nora felt her face heat up again. "Thank you," she choked. "You don't know how I was feeling before you came over – I'm not used to this kind of – the whole atmosphere here, really. It's so – not me –" she broke off. There was no way to describe what she was feeling to someone who, as nice as he was, had grown up in the Bayfield family.

    He reached out and gave her arm a quick squeeze. "Hang in there, Nora. I know you didn't get much of a choice in coming here. But you'll find your place. Not everyone here is like my sisters; you just have to be patient and find a place where you feel comfortable. It took me a while, too."

    They sat for a minute in silence. "The cafeteria's opening now; do you want to go in?" asked James.

    "I said I'd wait for Jackie."

    "Oh, good!" James was pretty enthusiastic about that idea. "Hey, I'd been meaning to ask you what you think of Jackie yourself. Is she a good roommate?"

    Nora gave him a suspicious glance. "She's a great roommate so far. Very considerate."

    "Oh yeah?"

    He was clearly waiting for details, so she elaborated reluctantly. "She likes to stay up later than I do, but she's always careful to be very quiet and she never leaves the light on or anything. And she's always super considerate about turning her music down. Actually I don't mind most of the CDs she plays, but she's always checks to make sure it's okay with me. I don't have any classes with her, but she seems to study pretty hard."

    "I thought she'd be a good roommate for you," said James. "She seemed like such a sweet girl right from the first."

    For some reason Nora found herself adding, "The only thing I'm worried about is her social life when we get settled in more. I know I'm too quiet for most people, but partying and having guys over doesn't seem to bother Jackie at all, and that's just not my thing."

    James frowned. "Why do you say that? Did she say she's a partier?"

    "Well, Jessie and Megan are already talking about joining a sorority, and they want Jackie to rush too. And you must have heard the way she was talking about her brother in France."

    "Just because her brother parties in France doesn't mean she'll be the same, Nora," said James, gently.

    "I probably shouldn't have said anything. It's not like I know her very well yet, it was just a feeling I got," she said, a little ashamed of herself for speaking up – it wasn't usually like her to voice her thoughts so plainly, but James seemed to encourage confidences.

    She felt even worse when Jackie arrived a minute later and linked arms with her affectionately as they walked in to dinner. But Nora was still not convinced she had been wrong, for all that.

    The all-class picnic was every bit as boring as Nora had feared. There were representatives of various campus groups and volunteer organizations with tables and signup sheets, and the freshmen were supposed to be learning all about the many opportunities at Douglas; but most people spent the time flirting or joking instead. Since Nora had neither wit nor romance to offer, she was left out, of course. Even James had fallen into a deep discussion with Jackie.

    "If you play, you should definitely audition for orchestra," James was saying. "They don't have a harp player now, and that's such a beautiful instrument."

    "I don't know," Jackie said. "There aren't that many orchestra pieces with a harp part. It might be more work than it's worth."

    "Not if you major in music – you'd have to do performance anyway."

    Jackie grimaced. "I don't think I'm going to major in music, though."

    "Why not? I thought your dad was so supportive of the idea." James seemed to know quite a lot about the exact status of Jackie's prospective major.

    "He is," said Jackie, "but honestly, James, the more I think about it the more I'm convinced it was a stupid idea. What would I do with a music major? Teach? Really. No thanks."

    "There's nothing wrong with teaching," protested James.

    "Everything's wrong with teaching! Come on, James. I don't have the patience, and besides, teaching is a stupid career move. You get stuck in the same place forever."

    James hesitated. "You could do other things with it."

    "If I had real talent, I could. I'm not going to get a job playing professionally – I'm not much more than a mediocre player. I just get noticed because there aren't many harp players."

    "I'm sure you're just being modest –"

    "You haven't even heard me yet!" Jackie laughed, poking him in the side.

    "But I will," said James earnestly. "You promised to play for me. I love harp music."

    Nora sighed and transferred her attention to her other side, where Megan was chatting with a sophomore from her Econ class. His name was Cole Hastings and apparently he had political ambitions.

    "I have a twenty-year plan that should ensure I'm a US Senator by the time I'm forty," he said.

    "Wow," said Megan breathlessly. "Let's see, law school –"

    "Harvard Law School," corrected Cole.

    "That takes – how long did you say?"

    "Law school is three years, plus summer internships, of course. I've made a list of firms already –"

    "Which ones?"

    Nora didn't know how Megan could be so enthralled. "I'm going to go work on my paper," she said to whomever might be listening.

    The worst of it was, she thought as she walked up the hill to the main campus buildings, if she hadn't wasted two hours at the picnic she might have taken advantage of Jackie's absence to use her computer in comfort. But as it was, Jackie would be back soon too and there was always Mrs. Barnes to consider. Better just to head up to the computer labs now. She was used to it anyway.

    Five hours later Nora was interrupted by the lab monitor politely requesting her to finish up, since the lab closed at one.

    "Bother," she muttered. The paper was nearly done, but she needed to find a few last supporting quotations and go over it to make sure she'd exactly followed Dr. Janssen's extensive checklist of formatting and content requirements. Now she'd have to try and get an available computer tomorrow morning to finish up before class. If only she could have just a few more minutes – but the lab had emptied out and the monitor (not Ted this time) was giving her a slightly threatening glare. With a sigh she jammed her Norton Anthology and her zip disk into the top of her aqua backpack, and hoisted it to her shoulder.

    The campus was silent – she'd never been out this late alone, and it was a bit disconcerting. The walk down the hill to Pieper was dauntingly dark, since two of the streetlights had burnt out. She told herself rationally that there was nothing wrong with a short walk in the dark, but despite this her heart gave a thud of relief when she saw a familiar figure passing the library.

    "James?" She hadn't called loud enough in the silence, and she had to run to catch up to him, her backpack bouncing painfully against her shoulder blades. "James –"

    "Nora, is that you?" He stopped to wait for her. "What are you doing up here this late?"

    "Had a paper to write – Janssen."

    "Oh. Janssen." The English professor's reputation rendered further explanation unnecessary. "It's pretty dark, though – I'll walk you back to Pieper."

    "You don't have to do that. Isn't your house on the opposite side of campus?"

    "I don't mind. I know our little campus seems safe, and I don't want to scare you or anything; but it's probably still not a good idea to wander around by yourself at one in the morning."

    "Oh – but I had to. I shouldn't have gone to the picnic, I guess, but I didn't think it would take me this long to finish," Nora protested, feeling embarrassed.

    "What about using Jackie's computer?"

    "I don't know – I think she has a paper too, or something."

    "Well, if nothing else, I work in the library a lot of nights – it's my job. I sit at the reference desk. You can always come and get me and I'd be happy to be your bodyguard." They were passing under one of the working street lamps, so he gave her a quick smile to show he meant it.

    "Thanks, James," she said. "I might do that."

    "My pleasure. Hey, I didn't realize you hadn't been over to our house yet," he said, changing the topic easily. "You – all you girls – should come over this weekend. We were going to grill anyway. You'll soon realize how bad the cafeteria food always is on Saturdays."

    "Ick, Leftover Night – Tim warned us," agreed Nora. "Really, though? I don't want to intrude on a guys-only party or anything."

    "Nothing like that. It's not a party, you're family. We should all support each other on Leftover Night. And Jackie too, of course."

    Nora was too pleased that he was inviting her to mind how eagerly he mentioned Jackie. "Okay, I'll tell the girls," she said. They were just at the door of Pieper.

    "Have a good night, and sleep well," he said, giving her shoulder a brief pat, and she felt sure she would.

    Chapter 5

    Posted on 2009-04-14

    Tim and James, along with a friend of Tim's, lived in a tall, narrow, creaky old house two blocks from campus. A painted wooden sign over the door read "The Sticks".

    "I don't know whether Dad will appreciate the name," said Megan, skeptically, just as James opened the door.

    "Come on in. Tim named the house - he thinks it's funny," explained James. "It's not really far enough from campus to make it a good pun, but this is such a ramshackle old place, it sort of makes sense anyway."

    "Doesn't matter how far it is from campus - everything at Douglas is the sticks," said Jackie, which Nora's cousins thought was hilariously funny.

    Uncle Bill had bought the house in Tim's second year. He said the land was a good investment, and he planned to renovate the house after all the kids graduated, and sell it at a profit. The guys were supposed to pay him minimal rent, although Jessie had whispered on their way over that Tim mostly didn't pay his.

    "I don't think you know our housemate," said James, leading the way into the living room, which was furnished pleasingly with chili pepper light strings, a coffee table with only three legs being propped up by a stack of beaten Norton Anthologies, several vintage 1979 sofas, and an enormous TV. "This is Jim Blake. My sisters, Megan and Jessie, and my cousin Nora and her roommate, Jackie."

    "The other James," joked Jim, shaking hands. "James, Jim, and Tim - we didn't think that through before we all decided to live together. Everyone mostly just calls me Blake. Beer, anyone?"

    "You do realize they're freshmen?" asked James.

    "I won't tell anyone," said Blake jovially.

    "That's not what I meant. It's kind of illegal."

    "Oh, call Dad and cry then," mocked Tim, coming in from the kitchen. "What does Dr. Weston say about underage drinking? Better ask him next class period."

    "I'm going to check the burgers," said James and passed Tim without a look.

    "No beer for me, thanks," Nora shook her head at Blake, trying to smile. She had suspected her cousins drank sometimes at parties but this was surely a bit brash. "I'll just have water."

    "There's soda in the fridge, too," offered Blake, seemingly unaffected by the underage-drinking-sibling argument. He waved his hand at the doorway behind him. "Have at it."

    Nora walked through into the kitchen, which had been painted from top to bottom in a beige color, including the cabinets. It probably hid dirt better than white, she thought. Feeling a little like she was snooping, she poked around in various cupboards until she found a glass, and filled it at the sink. She looked around her. The back door was open and just outside, James was leaning over the grill. He looked up and gave her a half-smile as she came out onto the sun-warmed back porch.

    "Sorry about that whole drinking thing."

    "You shouldn't have to apologize," said Nora. She thought of several things to say about his siblings' behavior, and discarded them all. It was probably better just to change the subject altogether. "I'm glad you invited us over. It's really nice to be away from the dorm - it feels so relaxing. I could just sit here in the sun for a week." As she spoke she sat down on the edge of the porch stairs, half-closing her eyes against the brightness.

    James's smile was fuller this time. "I agree, there is something nice about having our own place to get away, even if I am the only one who does the dishes."

    They were silent for a while, James turning the bratwursts over with a pair of tongs, Nora leaning her head back against the railing post.

    "How's Weston going this week?" James asked.

    "Oh, much better! I think I get it, actually - well, not entirely, because he can be pretty deep sometimes, but I see what he's trying to do. I even asked a question in class."

    "Great! You took my advice, then."

    "Actually I wasn't even thinking about your advice at the time. I asked because I really didn't know, but he said it was a great question and we spent the rest of the class talking about it."

    "What did you ask?"

    "Oh, it was about original sin. I didn't understand whether it was completely dependent on Adam and Eve's choice, or not; and if it was, then had they always been able to choose - was the possibility of sin preexisting." She was stumbling trying to explain, but James nodded.

    "Good subject. Coincidentally, my class has been discussing sin this week too."

    "Which class is it?"

    "It's comparative religion, and we were discussing concepts of sin in the eastern religions. It's fascinating to me how much better I understand my own faith after studying someone else's," he laughed.

    Nora leaned forward on her knees. "I'd like to take that one too, I think. I know nothing at all about other religions."

    "Careful, Nora, that's how he hooked me, too. You'll end up a Religion major before you know it."

    "Is that such a bad thing? What are you going to do with it?"

    James shot a glance at the open door. Just inside the kitchen, Jackie was talking to Tim, her head thrown back to look up at him; they were both laughing. "I've been thinking about education," he said in a lower voice. "It would mean dropping my history major to a minor, and I'd have to take a lot of education classes next year if I want to do it. But I'd really like to try teaching high school, maybe at a lower-income school. Of course it would be cool to be a professor at a college like Douglas, but I think the world needs high school teachers maybe even more. I know that sounds sort of pretentious, or something, but there are so many kids who never get to experience classes like we get here -"

    It pained Nora that he seemed so ashamed of his dreams. "That's great!" she said warmly. "Professors like Weston and even Janssen, they make all the difference. I hated high school, you know - I never felt like the classes were worth while, because nobody talked about anything I was interested in. It's different here, I have to admit. I'm not sure if I've found my place, like you said, but I feel like I could really love learning here. And that's all due to the professors."

    "Yes! That's just what I think!" James broke in, letting his voice rise almost imperceptibly. "I can't really aspire to be a Weston, but if I could teach half as well as he does, I would feel as if I were really helping people."

    "I think you would be a great teacher. You've helped me so much already."

    James looked slightly uncomfortable with her praise. "I haven't done that much, really, Nora. But I'm glad you think being a teacher is a good idea. It's not considered very glamorous in my family."

    "Oh, James, that's too bad."

    He cut her off. "Don't worry about it. Hey, yesterday when I stopped by Pieper on my way up to work, Jackie said you were up writing a paper in the labs. You didn't stay too late, did you?"

    Nora blushed.

    "Why didn't you come by the library to get me?" he pressed. His voice was soft, but Nora wished he wouldn't make such a big deal about it. She could feel tears forming at the corners of her eyes.

    "I did, actually," she said when she was sure her voice was steady enough. "You were busy with someone, and I didn't want to interrupt."

    James looked at her over the hood of the grill. "I just worry about you, that's all. I didn't mean to lecture. Anyway, I only brought it up because I've had an idea. I've been thinking about getting a new computer, and when I saw that Dell is having a free shipping sale, well, I just went ahead and ordered the one I had my eye on. So I was wondering if you wanted my old laptop."

    Tears threatened again. Nora blinked them back and said, "Oh, I'd love to, but I'm not sure if I have the money to buy it right now." There was no point in hiding that fact. "You'd probably be better off selling it to someone on campus."

    James waved this off. "Nah, I doubt I could get much for it. It's pretty old and the graphics card isn't very good. No one wants an old clunker. Most of the guys in the dorms want to network so they can run multiplayer games or share music, and it's pretty slow at anything like that. But I thought you would be able to use it as is - it may not be much, but it's perfectly capable of handling Word and email." He shot her another look and added offhandedly, "I'll sell it to you for a hundred bucks if you want it, and you don't have to pay me right away."

    Nora knew quite well what he was up to, setting a low price so casually, but his tact was soothing all the same. And it would be so nice to have her own laptop - "Okay," she said slowly. "I want to get a job over Christmas, so I could pay you after the holiday."

    "Good!" James grinned at her. "I hate for things to go to waste, and you need a computer. Perfect solution. My new one should get here next week, so you can have it then."

    "Just in time for my next paper," Nora said. She couldn't help but smile back at him.

    "Lee is coming back tomorrow," said Jackie over their burgers. "I can't wait to see him - he's been gone forever."

    "Are you that close?" asked Megan, probably not intending to sound as incredulous as she did.

    "Yes, since our mom died we've always stuck together. Lee is tight with our dad, but I'm -" she broke off.

    It was, of course, Jessie again who couldn't resist asking. "You're what?"

    "I'm not as close with my dad as Lee is," Jackie said sharply.

    "It'll be great to get to know him better," said James, peacemaking with his usual ease.

    Nora was making connections. "Oh -" she said. "I think he might be in my econ class. Dr. Wallis keeps mentioning a student who won't be in class until next week. I don't know why I didn't realize it would be your brother."

    "He didn't say whether he had econ this semester, but I do know after being gone last semester he has to catch up on some required classes," said Jackie, recovering her equanimity. "It might very well be him. He promised to stop by Pieper first thing, so I'll make sure to introduce you."

    "When? I want to meet him," said Megan.

    "Me too," said Jessie.

    "Fine, I'll introduce all of you, including Blake if he's that interested," said Jackie in a longsuffering tone.

    In fact, Jackie was so anxious and fidgety the next afternoon waiting for Lee, that Nora felt a great deal more in sympathy with her than she ever had. Family affection was something Nora could understand and admire, and she was a little surprised to find so much of it in cool, confident Jackie. They both went down to the lobby with their books much earlier than he could possibly be expected, but Jackie was afraid of missing him, "and he'll be sure to forget our room number," she said.

    "I'm feeling almost envious," Nora said. "Everyone will have their brothers here, and I miss mine terribly."

    "You don't talk much about your family," said Jackie. "I didn't even know you had a brother."

    "Don't I? I think about them all the time." Nora was surprised. It hadn't occurred to her that she said so little about herself. "I have three brothers and two sisters, actually, but I was thinking of my brother Chris. He's the oldest boy - we're only a year apart."

    "Well, then maybe he'll come to Douglas next year."

    "I don't think he'll go to college," said Nora. Jackie's eyes widened. She was too polite to say anything, but Nora could tell people who didn't go to college were an unknown phenomenon to her. "He's not good at studying, but he's amazing at woodworking, carpentry, that sort of thing. I think he should get an apprenticeship."

    Jackie still didn't say anything, so Nora sighed and changed the subject hastily. "I don't really know that much about your family either, other than Lee. What does your dad do?" Too late she remembered that Jackie was touchy about her father.

    "Mostly, drinks wine and picks up hot blondes." Jackie's voice was bitter, and now Nora didn't know how to respond. "He's a real estate investor, when he needs money to pay for escorts." She laughed at Nora's face.

    "I'm sorry," Nora said. "I shouldn't have asked. I wasn't thinking."

    "Yeah, now you know why I said I'm not very close to him. As a matter of fact, I despise him. Lee and he have some kind of man-to-man thing - they can talk about cars and football and go on 'guy weekends' to his cabin. I worry about Lee sometimes -" she cut herself off and shook her head. "Look, thanks for listening, Nora, but that's it. I'm not going to be thinking about this when he gets here. Let's read."

    Nora was trying to puzzle out a supply and demand chart in her Econ book, when she was interrupted by a shriek from Jackie.

    "Lee!" She jumped at the young man who had just entered the lobby, and he swung her around. When he finally put his sister down, Nora saw he was taller than she had expected, given Jackie's physique, and more angular; but there was no mistaking their resemblance. He was dark too, with Jackie's long-lashed deep-set eyes, his curly hair cut shorter than campus trends would dictate. The scarf around his neck made him look very European. Jackie pointed it out at once.

    "What's this thing? Did Juliette, or whatever her name was, say she liked that look, or something? Come over here and meet my roommate. This is Nora Worth. Nora, this is my brother Lee, obviously. I wonder where Megan and Jess are? They wanted to meet you too."

    "I'm flattered," said Lee. "Really. Now I'm wondering why I stayed in France all summer, if I get this kind of reception when I come back." His eyes crinkled more when he smiled than Jackie's did.

    She hit him. "It's just because I've talked about you so much. As soon as they meet you they'll all be terribly disappointed, so enjoy it while you can."

    "I can go see if they're in their room," offered Nora, feeling very out of place. "Jess and Megan, I mean."

    Lee Cadwell looked straight at her for the first time. "You come back too, Nora," he said. "I want to get to know all about you." He dropped his voice and his eyelashes both.

    Nora wrinkled her nose as she escaped. Maybe that worked on French girls, but it wouldn't work on her. Just for that, she was going to stay in her room until dinner.

    Contrary to Jackie's prediction, Megan and Jess were not in the least disappointed with Lee in the flesh. He was taking Jackie out for dinner, and as soon as they left the twins were discussing him. They came into Nora's room in order to have an audience.

    "He's not cute, exactly," said Megan with authority.

    "Mmm, no, not exactly," agreed Jess. "He doesn't look at all as I expected. I mean, Jackie's so pretty, but Lee isn't what you'd call gorgeous."

    "Not that he's terrible-looking or anything."

    "He does have great eyes."

    Megan giggled. "They're kind of dreamy, really."

    "Don't let your Cole hear you talking about Lee's dreamy eyes," said Jess, laughing too, but with a sharp note.

    "And he's tall," continued Megan, paying no attention. "I was thinking he'd be short like Jackie, too."

    "Too thin, though."

    "I like slender guys."

    "Why are you with Cole, then?"

    "I'm not 'with' Cole."

    "Oh really."

    "Nothing's official!"

    Nora said, "I'm going up to the library," and left.

    Chapter 6

    Posted on 2009-04-21

    James's computer really did make life a lot easier for Nora. On weekday evenings it was lovely to put on a pair of pajamas and a big sweatshirt and settle in for the night with books and class notes spread around her. Of course, there were a few cons as well as pros. Since she was in her room every evening Jessie and Megan were always having her proofread their papers, and then if she went down to the lobby Mrs. Barnes would pounce on her, asking for help putting up signs in the halls or just wanting to chat. Mrs. Barnes had decided Nora would make a great resident assistant.

    "If you apply to be an RA next year, I'll make sure you get assigned to Pieper," she assured Nora. "You know I take care of my girls."

    "Yes," said Nora.

    "I always have my eye out for girls I could rely on. That's why Pieper is safer and friendlier than McDonnell – I demand the best RAs and I get them, too. Besides, it would be a good job for you. You need the money, don't you? Do you have a campus job this semester?"

    "No –"

    "Hasn't the student employment office called you? If they haven't, I can talk to them for you. You should have a job."

    "Actually I thought, for the first semester, I'd just –"

    "I'll call them for you. But you just need something temporary for now. You can start as an RA next year."

    Nora was rescued by Jessie shouting down the stairwell for her. For once she'd be happy to proofread, even if it was 20 pages. But when she got upstairs, Jessie was laughing.

    "No, I don't need anything, actually. Jackie made me come and rescue you."

    "Thanks," said Nora from her heart.

    "God!" exclaimed Jackie, in the doorway of their room. "What was she talking about all that time?"

    "The usual: she wants me to be an RA next year."

    "Are you going to?" asked Jessie.

    "Not if I can help it," said Nora. "I was thinking of applying to work in the library, like James."

    "Those jobs are hard to get," warned Jackie. "That's what Lee says, anyway. But go ahead and try. Anything's better than being RA for Barnes. If we were in one of the other dorms, maybe. But here it's slave labor."

    "Well, I'm glad you rescued me," said Nora. "I really do have to study and I wasn't sure how I was going to escape. Thanks."

    "What are roomies for?"

    "If you don't mind, I'll stay here with you girls," Jessie said. "Unofficial Cole is unofficially visiting."

    Jackie snickered. 'Unofficial Cole' had become their secret nickname for him, as he and Megan still refused to admit that they were dating or seeing each other or anything remotely suggesting romance. But Jess stayed out of the room on visiting nights, for all that.

    Tuesday nights, visiting hours only lasted until ten. But about nine-thirty Lee stopped by. Nora was thankful she hadn't changed into her pajamas yet.

    "Hey," he greeted his sister, giving her a squeeze around the shoulders.

    "Hey you," she said. "What are you doing here?"

    "Couldn't keep away from the gorgeous Mademoiselle Jessie," said Lee with a creditable French accent, as Jess giggled. "But besides that, I have real, live homework to do, as much as I hate to admit it. I wanted to ask Nora if I could borrow her Econ lecture notes for the first two weeks. Catching up is so boring, but alas, Wallis has two midterms."

    Professors with two midterms were universally deplored, as you got your first exam early and the second one likely just after Thanksgiving, which meant that you had to spend the whole break studying. Nora wasn't sure why no one seemed to appreciate the fact that actually two exams put less pressure on you to do well in them, since you had more time to make up your grade. But then, she had always known her opinions about school were odd. She contented herself with replying that of course Lee could borrow her notes.

    "I can make copies and give them back to you in class tomorrow afternoon," he said. "Now that's settled, what are we doing this weekend? Do you all usually go to parties, or what?"

    "Not many, so far," said Jess. "I wish there were more to do around here."

    "The eternal lament of the Douglas student," Lee sighed.

    "What about the football game?" suggested Jackie. "We could all go together."

    "My dear sister, you do realize that Douglas's football team is incredibly sucky?"

    "I've never been to a game," Jackie said stubbornly. "Come on Nora, don't you want to go?"

    "We should go to at least one game," Nora agreed, partly out of loyalty to her roommate and partly for the pleasure of disagreeing with Lee Cadwell.

    Lee rolled his eyes. "I guess if we all go it wouldn't be so bad. Where's your sister, Jess?"

    "Cole's here," warned Jess, but he had already gone out in the hall to knock on their door.

    Megan followed him when he came back to Nora and Jackie's room a few minutes later. "And it's supposed to be beautiful weather this weekend," she was saying. "Going to the football game is a great idea, Lee – I don't know why we haven't gone before."

    "It's not my favorite activity, actually, but given the alternatives…" he said. "I'll go if you go." he had dropped his voice, smiling at her.

    "Tim says the student section of the stands is always full – maybe we should go early if we're all going to sit together," put in Jessie helpfully, now that the plan had Lee's stamp of approval.

    "I really have to study on Saturday if I'm going to keep up my three point four GPA," said Cole loudly from the doorway, where he was standing with his arms crossed.

    "I'll ask James if he wants to go," said Jackie, as nobody made any reply to Unofficial Cole.

    Cole was outvoted, and when he saw that everyone was going to go to the football game anyway despite his excellent advice to study instead, he began to reconsider.

    "I suppose I could study that evening instead," he said Friday evening at dinner. "And of course there's always Sunday afternoon. I usually get my best studying done on Sunday, anyway. I guess I could go to the game. Do you think I should go, Meggie?"

    "Whatever you think is best, Cole," Megan snapped. At some point in the past few days she had apparently stopped fighting the fact that they were dating, but she still played the girlfriend role with a bad grace at best.

    "Would you rather I went, though? I'll go if you want me to. Of course studying is very important. I do have some scholarships that I was extremely lucky to get – not that I need the money of course, but it's quite an honor to get these and I'd hate to lose them by neglecting my studies. My twenty-year plan won't work if I don't establish a solid basis in undergraduate work, you know."

    Megan gave up. "Good grief, Cole, one football game isn't going to jeopardize your twenty-year plan." She gazed at him for a moment, and then said in a sugar-sweet voice, "Of course I want you to come." Cole looked satisfied; Nora couldn't tell whether he was really too dense to notice Megan's rudeness or just chose to ignore it.

    Saturday afternoon was lovely, bright and pleasant, with just the slightest chill in the air to make the sludgy hot chocolate at the concessions stand a welcome treat. The trees near the stadium were starting to yellow. Despite Douglas's long tradition of losing football, the student section of the stands was rollicking: chanting, laughing, and clapping with little correlation to the happenings on the field. A whole row of guys up in front had their shirts off with large blue letters painted on their chests.

    Nora didn't know much about football, but she was content sitting with her companions, sipping hot chocolate and obediently joining in the cheers a little too late. She asked James about the game a couple of times, but it was too noisy to explain much and she didn't want to interrupt his conversation with Jackie on the other side.

    "What is everyone doing for fall break?" asked Megan at halftime, with the stands a little quieter.

    "Not much," Jackie shrugged. "I actually thought about staying here."

    "Cole was telling me about his family's lake house north of here," began Megan.

    "We had it designed by an architect," put in Cole. "But that was fifteen years ago and we're thinking about doing some updates. The kitchen, maybe some relandscaping outside – the trees along the lake shore have gotten overgrown, so they may have to come out."

    "Oh –" Nora protested, in a murmur.

    "I was telling my mother about Megan's interest and she said it would be nice to have some houseguests before we tear everything up. So if you are free, you are all invited to spend fall break at the house. Mother will be there for the weekend."

    "Ooh, how lovely!" said Jess. "A weekend at the lake would be perfect, absolutely perfect. You'll come, won't you?" she said to Lee.

    "If you don't mind an outsider tagging along," he replied, looking straight at Megan. "I'd like to. What kind of landscaping do you have there now?" he said in a professional tone to Cole. "I've been on quite a few of my dad's job sites with some incredible landscape work."

    "It sounds so beautiful as it is," Nora said, turning to James. "I'd have loved to have seen the trees shading over the water."

    Jackie heard her. "Overgrown trees are a real pain. They block the sun, leaves get in the water and clog everything up."

    "Oh, but it makes me sad to think of cutting them out altogether! Imagine the reflections in the water in the fall!"

    "Nora, you'll never be able to see trees as an inconvenience, will you?" James said, laughing. "But you'll at least get to see them in two weeks."

    "Oh! I wasn't sure Cole was inviting me too." Nora said, her face getting hot.

    "Of course he was. He said 'you all' didn't he? And it would be rude to exclude you since you're sitting right here."

    "That's a lot of people to host, though." Nora felt slightly uncomfortable, although it was probably none of her business.

    "Nora," James said gently. "Just stop fussing."

    Jackie nodded. "From what I've heard, the house is fairly enormous. Don't worry about it, Nora. In case Megan hasn't told you lately, Cole is rich." She whispered the last, and Nora couldn't help laughing.

    "I'll have to ask my parents," she said weakly, but she could already feel her spirits rising. She'd hardly ever been on a real vacation, and the thought of fall break had not held much excitement for her. She'd be sorry not to see Ruthie and Chris, but Thanksgiving wasn't too far away, after all, and she'd be with her family then.

    By the end of the third quarter Douglas was losing 43 – 17 and the student section was losing enthusiasm. Megan, Jess, and Lee were bored and Cole hadn't wanted to come in the first place. They all walked up the hill toward the campus and the dining hall together, Megan and Jess up ahead with their respective men – although which belonged to which was hard to tell if you didn't know better. James and Jackie were behind, still talking; and Nora walked in the middle, still in a happy mood in spite of the 150 pages of history that awaited her.

    "– ask her, I'm sure Nora wouldn't mind," she heard James say behind her.

    "Nora," said Jackie, catching up to her. "What are you doing this evening?"

    "Just studying, I suppose," Nora said, wondering what they had in mind – it was so clearly a leading question.

    "Paper writing?" asked James, on her other side.

    "No, not tonight."

    "There! It'll work out just fine then, you see," James said.

    "I hate to ask, but my computer kept crashing this morning, and I have a paper to write by Tuesday," Jackie said apologetically.

    "I knew you wouldn't mind Jackie using yours," said James before she could answer. "And you're always ahead on your work anyway."

    "No, of course not." Nora couldn't have said anything else. It was still half James's computer, after all. "Go ahead, I need to read anyway."

    "Oh thanks! I owe you one, Nora. If I can just get this paper written – Then I can worry about getting mine fixed. I thought maybe you could come have a look at it, James?"

    "I'm not that expert, but I'd be glad to see if I can get an idea what's wrong with it."

    "Oh, that would be great." Jackie blinked up at him. "I don't know anything. I haven't touched any settings or anything since I got it. I'm always scared it will break and I won't know what to do."

    James smiled at her. "I'll do my best."

    "How about Tuesday during visiting hours?"

    "No, can't on Tuesday evenings. I have Socrates Society meetings and this next should be a good one. I'd really hate to miss it. It's a laptop, isn't it? Why don't you just bring it up to the library when I'm on duty Monday night?"

    "You go on up to dinner," Nora said as they paused at the corner near Pieper. "I'm going to run in and grab a jacket. I might be out until later and it's getting cold." If Jackie were going to be using her computer, she'd have to go elsewhere to send her weekend email to Ruthie and Chris.

    Continued In Next Section

    © 2009 Copyright held by the author.