Section I, Next Section

Chapter 1 - A New Path

Looking at the address on the piece of paper on her hand one more time while surveying the rustic surrounding, not knowing where else to turn, Elyse Bennett Windham parked her car not far from the entrance gate, where the words "Ackerley Manor" were elegantly engraved. As if beckoned by the path that was just a little way off the gate, she began her long strive along the winding yet pleasant walk towards what she hoped was her destination.

At first glance, she seemed nothing out of the ordinary giving her petite form and dark features. But her graceful movement combined with the dark straight hair that flowed freely on her shoulder with each passing summer breeze, and the increasing pleasure that sparkled in her eyes, the effect was quite captivating. Of this, she was entirely unaware-for in her mind, she was but a worn out woman way past her bloom.

It was Saturday and a glorious September day. The sun was still high in the sky, yet with the light bright and some telltale signs of autumn that had begun to emerge in this part of the country, she could almost see the promise of a brilliant season.

This diversion, although momentary, did her good. For while her disposition was generally sunny, her events in life so far had impacted her person so much that, like a plant that was deprived of sun and rain, she felt the need to seek a new path-a path that, hopefully, would lead her to the nourishing sun. As she continued her walk, her mind drifted back to what had led her to this expedition.

"It'd be just what you need, Elyse!" exclaimed Charlotte over the phone a few weeks after their discussion, "besides, the house is practically empty most of the time since Richard's cousin is often away. It'd be just the place to concentrate on your study! Give it a try, at least. If it doesn't work out, we'll think of something else then!"

It was so typical of Charlotte-one could not find a dearer friend. The kind of friendship between Elyse and Charlotte was long standing. They met during one of the company-sponsored conferences and since then they had become good friends. Although they did not see each other often, whenever there was a need to vent, they often sought each other.

Two years ago Elyse had embarked her re-entrance to the academia. Recently, she had decided to continue with her study in real earnest and felt that a total change in environment would resonance her determination. She needed a place to stay during the weeks throughout the school year, so she applied to Charlotte for help. As if Heaven had looked upon her favorably, Richard, Charlotte's boyfriend, stumbled upon such a place.

While continuing on the path towards her destination, her mind likewise continued on its own journey.

What really led her to this expedition?

Elyse met her husband, Glen, during one of the family picnics. He was more then eight years her senior. Handsome and engaging, he was then the most attentive companion-he would surprise her with little trifles and many impromptu outings that had delighted her. She had never dated anyone else because of his jealous and possessive nature. She didn't seem to mind it or the disparity between their disposition and interests then. She thought that their differences would only enhance their relationship. After all, how boring it would be for a couple having too much in common?

They were married right after Elyse graduated from high school as Glen was getting impatient. Since he had never attained anything beyond high school, secretly the idea of his wife having a higher education did not suit him. Meanwhile, her family was undergoing various unpleasant changes, so the idea of escaping from it all was very alluring at the time.

After years of marriage and two children later, however, upon reflection, this experience could best described as bittersweet. She supposed she should feel content. But for two people who were not quite of the same mind to begin with, the many years thereafter only widened their distance. She had a keen mind and thrived on learning, while he was content to be on status quo. His possessiveness was most disturbing. She could not mention anyone, male or female, outside the family, without feeling the need to explain or conscientious about it. To him, he should be enough, he should be all she cared for. It was not her nature to complain or contemplate 'what may have been'. She worked hard at their marriage by being the dutiful wife. In order to please him further-since he did not quite care for some of her interests-she restricted her pleasures in reading and music to herself alone.

Therefore, it was a welcome relief when Aaron was born. Aaron was all any mother could wish for-good natured, handsome, and intelligent. With such new joy in her heart, life was good for a while.

Then came Aster. Early on, her motherly intuition told her that something was not right. Life became very stressful then. After many sleepless nights and visits to a multitude of medical specialists, it was confirmed that Aster would require special attentions. Undaunted, Elyse researched and learned all she could about Aster's condition so that she could find her the best treatment and program. Her persistence paid off-for Aster had achieved many milestones that most of the professed experts blatantly predicted otherwise.

Aster's situation further strained her relationship with Glen. Instead of supporting her, he would often say, "She'll grow out of it in no time! What's all the fuss about?" Either he was too optimistic, or just absolutely refused to accept the fact, she was perplexed. But she held on to her beliefs-and it was all worth it, especially for Aster. For what was to become of a defenseless little child if her parents lost all hopes for her? Albeit slowly, Aster was striving in her own pace. After many years, Glen seemed to see her merit although he would never admit it.

Moreover, Glen's overly watchful eyes, possessiveness, and criticism were suffocating her. She had to watch what she say and how she said it because if done 'not quite right', he would be sure on the defense and ready to 'attack' in his subtle yet non-mistakable way.

He had never acknowledged what she had achieved in her profession either. Their modest income, coming mainly from Glen being a technician in the local municipality, was gradually exhausted by Aster's medical expenses. Before the family budget was totally depleted, and seeing that he was not proactively seeking additional income, she searched and found a clerical position at her present employer in order to meet the increasing family expenses. She was a quick learner and had progressed steadily within the company. She continued to improve herself by taking additional training. Although her current position was typically held by someone with a college degree, she was not intimated by it; her work ethics gained her the respect she deserved. This was a far cry from the reception she received from her husband. Of this he frowned upon, he viewed it as yet another example of her feminism.

Exasperated at times, silently she would turn to Heaven and ask, "What more can I do? Will he ever be satisfied?"

Being an inquisitive thinker, she tried hard to understand what had led them to this path-perhaps more appropriately, separate paths. What were their lives built upon? Was it love? Was there ever love? Or just two young people who went along with the motion because it seemed to be the thing to do at the time? Lacking experience of the sort, she could not know for sure. She did not expect their relationship to be the like of the romance novels, that would be unrealistic; but she had to admit that she had never felt the slightest of the high emotion that was alluded to in such novels. Was this the way it supposed to be? Was she supposed to be content with it? Somehow she could not but feel something was lacking, and whatever that was could be the reason of their increasing discourse. They had more differences than similarities-much more than not reading the same book nor listening to the same music. She had tried to include herself in his world, but the reception was often cool. For his part, he never denied the fact that, other than Aaron and Aster, he had minimal interest in her world.

In the many agonizing days and nights, only the thought of her children provided the comfort and anchor she so desperately needed. Whatever went on between her and Glen, she tried hard not to show it in front of them. Although he treated her with contempt, to his credit, he was a loving father. She found comfort in knowing that their children were thriving well. Aaron had grown to be a responsible and sensible young man with many talents. He was an honor student excelling in nearly all subjects. Aster had been placed in a nurturing education program. They both inherited her interests in music and literature. She was glad that her additional income could provide them with music lessons, which they thoroughly enjoyed.

Feeling confident with her children's well being, Elyse had decided two years ago that she needed a change. It was undeniable that she had always want to obtain a college degree, but she also felt that the children would benefit from it.

After a long process, she was admitted to Neuhausen University, and there she had begun her part-time study in Special Education. In order to support her family and study, she continued with her current job. Not surprisingly, Glen did not like the idea at all.

"Why can't you behave just like a normal house wife and be happy with what you got?" accused Glen when she told him her plan, "Why do you always have to do this and do that? Can't you just settle down? What are you trying to prove?"

Elyse had learned well over the years that engaging in this type of combat would only lead to increased frustration and nothing good would come out of it. So she responded as calmly and as simply as she could.

"My mind's made up. I'll make sure you and the kids will not be affected that much. Besides, my majoring in Special Education should help us to deal with Aster's situation better."

Aaron's reaction was quite different. He was always in awe with his mother since her company provided employee training on a regular basis and she often shared her learning experience with him. Mother and son were of the same mind in turns of learning-everyday was filled with learning experience, there was so much to learn.

In order to allow sufficient time for everyone to adjust, Elyse took the minimal class load, usually one course per semester. Gradually, seeing that nothing materially changed for him, Glen seemed to accept the change although he continued to show no interest and offered no encouragement to her.

Elyse enjoyed her study immensely; she treasured the new environment, the time spending alone and the independence that accompanied it. She wanted to increase her class load. After thinking it over, she came to the daring conclusion that, on a trial basis for one year, she would move closer to the university and live on her own during the week. She was not particular about where to stay, as long as it was nearby and safe. After appealing Charlotte for help, and when later the matter was settled, she approached Glen.

"What? How safe is this place for a female living alone? You can't be serious?" He was appalled at such an idea.

"Charlotte found the place so you need not worry. Besides, I'll come back on Friday nights and would be home during breaks and holidays. At this age, it's not uncommon for a female living on her own, don't you think?" She tried to stay calm.

"If everyone jumps off the cliff, are we suppose to follow suit?" He accused with his own usual extreme kind of logic.

Exasperated, she could only repeat, "This is only temporary, for this school year only. Let's get it a try."

She began to organize and planned for the move, making sure that nothing would be amiss while she was away-after school child care arrangement, appointments, meals and laundry, ...etc.

As it turned out, she spent so much time on these preparations that the idea of inspecting her prospective lodging escaped her entirely-until this moment. She would have to rely on Charlotte's judgment this time.

Chapter 2: A New Place

Elyse's journeys of the mind came to a halt when her eyes met the structure as soon as she came around the bend of the rustic passage.

Situated on the horizon and backed with lush, green hills, a stately yet homely English Tudor sat in front of a babbling brook. The clearings were filled with evergreens suffused with natural grace, suggesting only minimal pruning was done. Several apple and peach trees were off to the left while an array of flowering trees was to the right. It was as if birds of every kind felt like home here too as plenty could be seen!

"There must be a mistake! This cannot be! Impossible!" she exclaimed. She did not know what to expect, but she certainly did not expect this! Since there was no turning back, she followed the bricked walkway and walked up the last few steps towards the mahogany front door. After locating the polished brass doorbell, she reached up and gave it a tentative press.

The double door was soon opened revealing a slender-built man in his early sixties. He possessed an elegant air and pleasing manners. A few touches of silvery gray dispersed on the sides of his well-trimmed hair. Elyse found herself looking up into a pair of piercing gray eyes.

"Is this the Fitzwilliam residence?" she ventured.

"Yes, you must be Ms. Windham? Welcome, my name is Clarke Sheldon, the housekeeper. Mr. Fitzwilliam has informed me of your coming."

"Thank you very much, Mr. Sheldon. I wasn't sure if I'm in the right place since in my haste, I forgot to inquire my friend, Ms. Charlotte Lucas, what to expect."

"Please come right in. Let me show you to your room. Oh, by the way, please call me Clarke," he motioned.

As she followed the housekeeper through the house, she found herself surrounded by an abundance of cherry wood and mahogany, the elegant furnishing which was prevalent of the early eighteenth century colonial style. To her, the many decorative objects that were aesthetically placed suggested collections acquired by the owner during his travels.

They continued to walk towards the back and the far right section of the house, evidently the guest section, since Elyse saw several guestrooms along the way. Clarke stopped at the last room and addressed her.

"I hope this suits you, Ms. Windham. Mr. Fitzwilliam informed me that you'd be attending Neuhausen and would like to concentrate on your studies. This room is quite secluded. Follow this hallway down the end and turn left will bring you to the backdoor leading to the backyard. By the way, that door will bring you to the back entrance, which, you may find more convenient."

To Elyse, the room before her was much more than suitable! The afternoon sun cast such brilliance in the room that, although without taking a closer look, she felt like almost at home.

"Oh, this more than suits me! Thank you!" she exclaimed, "I just need to get my belongings from the car."

"Where did you park?" Clarke asked. She told him the location.

"You walked all the way from there?" he said incredulously, "Please allow me to tell you that there are two driveways leading to the house. If you follow the driveway a little further to the left where your car is now, it will bring you to the front entrance. I'll show you the back entrance in just a little while when we get your belongings." Taking something out of his side pocket, he continued, "Here's the remote control. You'll need it to open the gate at the back entrance."

He drove her to her car through the back entranceway. She got out, went to her car, and followed him back to the house. He proceeded to help her with her belongings. She did not have much -- only one suitcase, a duffel bag, a radio clock, and her laptop. Once that was done, he turned to her and said, "After you are settled, I'll show you around. I'll be back in a short while." With that, he excused himself.

Instead of putting her things away, Elyse remained standing and began to survey the room, allowing the idea of "I'm actually here" to gradually sink in. The afternoon sun was still in its glory, casting its radiance everywhere in sight. It was a spacious room with adequate furnishings and filled with a few extras that made it special -- oriental rugs on the dark wooden floor and a few throw pillows on the loveseat just below the double windows.

The bed was placed against the center of one wall. To the left were a Queen Anne-style writing desk and a matching chair, to the right were a dresser and a chest-on-chest. At the same section of the room were the loveseat and a small end table.

Her eyes continued to scan -- one more wall would complete the sweep -- then they came upon... a fireplace! Elyse could not believe her eyes and wondered how did that escape her notice before. Perhaps she had not expected it, as in general, "things happen when they are least expected." Of course the fireplace was not in use now, but the thought of it in a wintry night brought her much anticipation and satisfaction.

She let out the breath she was holding and sighed. Somehow, a sense of relief washed over her, and that calmed and soothed her. She closed her eyes and allowed herself that momentary tranquillity. Then, as if caught up with reality again, she began to put her things in order.

Elyse was just about done when she heard Clarke coming her way saying, "If you're ready, let's take s stroll. Before we do that, would you like to have some refreshments first?" She nodded and followed him through the house.

Noticing all the guestrooms were unoccupied, she asked, "Who else are here? I understand that Mr. Fitzwilliam is currently away."

He nodded, "Yes, my master is often away. Right now, he's at the summer home in Maine as usual during this time of the year, until the weather turns colder. You're our only guest at the moment. Parker, our gardener, comes in to care for the outside property, and a regular housecleaning crew comes in weekly. I do my own cooking and make sure the house is kept in order."

They passed the formal dining room and in a few minutes, arrived in the kitchen area. Beyond the main section, there was a small dining area at the far end corner separated by a French door. It was surrounded by windows and the magnificent view of the grounds could be seen. Suspending from the ceiling near the windows were several baskets of Boston fern and English ivy.

Clarke was well prepared for Elyse saw an assortment of small sandwiches and pastries already placed on the dining table.

"Let's have our afternoon tea, or would you prefer coffee?" Clarke asked as he headed towards the stove.

"Tea will be fine," replied Elyse, directing her gaze at the tea set already on the table. She took the seat offered and began to sample the offerings.

"Neuhausen is only minutes away. When do you classes begin?" He asked after giving his tea several sips.

"Monday," she answered, "by the way, I hope you're aware that this is temporary, and for this school year only; I plan to go home to my family on Friday night and return on Sunday night."

In this way, they continued their causal conversation. She talked briefly about her family, study and work; likewise, he talked about himself and the family he served. He had been with the family for many years. Although this is Mr. Fitzwilliam's main dwelling, he also spent time in others -- the family estate in England and a summer home in Maine.

Mr. Fitzwilliam was the co-founder and co-owner of a renowned medical science consulting firm. He had completed his studies and internship as a neurosurgeon but changed his focus to related academia and consultation instead. He was often sought after as guest lecturers in universities and conferences. She could not help but notice the almost fatherly pride when he spoke of his master.

"And he was not yet married?" she was curious when he thus revealed.

"No indeed. He's more interested in his work activities than anything else. Even when he was growing up, he never had time for such 'trifles' as he called them. Not that he didn't attract any attention for there've been plenty."

During the many years of service with the Fitzwilliam family, Clarke had met many people, and often those with high academic standing and refinement. This tea diversion allowed him to observe his master's guest.

When first heard about this arrangement, he did not know what to think. The thought of a total stranger living under the same roof for a year concerned him. However, it was not his place to question his master's decision.

He took another glance at her. It was difficult to assess her age because her exterior contrasted with the general idea of that of a woman with two school age children. Besides the overall good look, she seemed nothing extraordinary, decidedly without the aristocratic air and refinement that he had found not uncommon among his master's circle. Nevertheless, something about this woman urged one to give a second look. He was unsure what it was, but he liked her; he found her manner honest and pleasing, and her conversation seemed intelligent enough, a clear indication of a similar mind.

Elyse was fully aware of the housekeeper's scrutiny, however, she did not get intimated easily. She remembered her main reason of being there, and resolved to make the best of it.

Suddenly she remembered the arrangement and said, "Charlotte asked me to discuss the payment specifics with you. How should I make out the rent?"

He shook his head, "No need for all that trouble. I was informed by Mr. Fitzwilliam that since you are a friend of the family, he's glad to help."

She was surprised, "Oh! Charlotte hasn't told me about this at all. No, it wouldn't be right, especially I'm inconveniencing all of you! I'm afraid I must insist on the original agreement!"

However, he would hear nothing of it, and so it was settled that she would stay there as a guest.

After refreshment, Clarke gave Elyse a tour of the house. She could not help but notice the many fireplaces there -- practically one in each of the rooms she saw. She was told, however, that of all the bedrooms on the main level, only his and hers had one.

What arrested her attention in the living room was the huge aquarium to the left of the front door. She also had one at her own home, and she enjoyed watching the fish and often found that relaxing. Off the other side was the entry foyer where she was received earlier. A black lacquered grand piano sat at the far corner. Clarke told her that Mr. Fitzwilliam was an amateur pianist. Live plants of various sizes and specimens pleasingly filled the room.

They moved down the hallway and came upon the main library. Its collections quite matched those of the small town library where Elyse was a frequent patron. She eyed the collections with interest. "How delightful!" she thought to herself, "how many hours of fun reading it would be!" A secluded section, where the fireplace was located, was arranged with a sofa, a loveseat, two chairs, and a coffee table, suggesting a cozy corner for tete-a-tete. The entertainment room was next, and that completed the tour on the main level.

She followed him up the stairs. He said the entire upper level was for the master. They came upon another library about a quarter size as the main one downstairs. Somehow it looked less inviting as mostly technical references and journals were in display. Connecting to the library was the study, which she was told that Mr. Fitzwilliam also used as his virtual office. The master bedroom, two spare bedrooms, and an exercise room concluded the tour upstairs. They took the backstairs and were now back to the guest section on the main level.

"Would you like to see the grounds?" inquired Clarke after the inside tour was completed. She nodded.

He opened the backdoor and they walked down the steps. They continued on the short passage that followed, and when they reached the end of it, the backyard was before them.

The picturesque hills were covered with evergreens -- pine, spruce, holly, and cypress. Oaks, maples, and aspens thrived profusely throughout. Some immense rocks, scattered towards one corner of backyard, could very well serve as meditation spots. The tiled patio was more formal, furnished with a complete patio set.

They strolled along the perimeter of the main dwelling and came around the front yard. Elyse now had a closer look of the brook that had arrested her attention earlier. As she followed the length of the brook, to her delight, there was a pond at the far end of it. It was filled with just enough water lilies to provide a poetic look. Foot-long gold fishes -- red, white, and yellow -- swam happily in it. Ornamental rocks were placed around and in the brook. She was totally enchanted. Everything she saw and felt in this place appealed to all her senses agreeably.

Before they turned back to the house, pointing to a structure some distance near the back entrance, Clarke said that the greenhouse was currently under construction.

After returning indoors, they discussed the living arrangement for the upcoming year some more.

It was in this new place called "Ackerley" that Elyse began her new path.

Chapter 3: How Should We Go On

Three weeks had gone by and Elyse began to adjust to her new routine. She was taking three classes this semester, one each on Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday after work. School was invigorating, and the proximity to her temporary lodging turned out just as she had hoped -- it saved her time and helped her to concentrate.

Her typical week consisted of working, studying, and checking back at home. Aaron and Aster were adjusting well. On weekends, she would catch up with their weekly activities and shared hers with them. Aaron missed his mother, but he was now at the age where he was more independent and his many interests kept him occupied.

Glen usually just listened, but lately something about his seemingly complete disinterest when they were alone surprised Elyse. She had expected him to put in a few provoking words or comments. Somehow the lack of it caught her attention, but then she thought nothing of it. Her time at home was limited and she needed to make sure all was well before she marched on to meet the demand of the following week.

Most of time Elyse only saw Clarke at breakfast and dinner, which he usually prepared. When her schedule allowed it, however, she would offer to help if Clarke were willing. Soon, this became an understanding between them. He enjoyed her company, and she was only too happy to help.

At first, she felt uncomfortable about the living arrangement, thinking that she was intruding too much on the private household. She also felt insecure for she had no doubt that Clarke usually dealt with people with much more refined taste and manner. She was convinced that he would find her a dead bore. Although she felt herself inferior against those worldly measures, she tried not be intimated by it -- one thing for sure, she never tried to pretend what she was not. However, she was pleasingly surprised for Clarke did not seem to loathe her company, or if he did, he did not show it. She did not know it, but it was her total unpretentiousness the foundation of the housekeeper's approval of her. He found her conversations and honest opinions refreshing and endearing.

It was Sunday night; it had been raining almost the entire day. By the time Elyse returned to Ackerley, it was almost nine o'clock. After a quick shower, she cuddled up on the loveseat with next night's assignments on her lap. Troubled with some of the passages, she looked through the reference section of the textbook but could not find what she was looking for. She thought about searching the Internet but decided against it. She always felt more comfortable reading from books.

Her thoughts turned to the library, but when she looked down at herself, she hesitated. She was wearing a pale pink dye-tied oversized T-shirt and boxer shorts, entirely unsuitable beyond the confines of her room. Suddenly however, she remembered that Clarke was away until tomorrow.

"No one's around anyway so it doesn't matter." She convinced herself and thus the decision was made. Barefooted, she slid down the loveseat and headed towards the main library.

Darcy Fitzwilliam was exhausted, but he must continue his journey. Cold weather arrived in Maine earlier than usual, that, compounded with several sudden important engagements made it necessary for him to leave that morning so that he could reach Ackerley before nightfall. However, the drenching rain had impeded his progress.

He could have taken the corporate private jet, but he needed to bring his sport utility vehicle home. This summer, he drove to Maine because he wanted to explore the coastal area alone. The availability of his own vehicle made these explorations, sometimes quite spontaneous, much more convenient and enjoyable.

Before he left, he made all the usual arrangements to ensure the summer home was properly closed up until the next season. He had always enjoyed the coastal Maine where his summer home offered an excellent view of the harbor. He spent there alone most of the time, with occasional visits from close friends and the locals. There he would think and plan for his upcoming engagements that seemed to increase as he and his company became more and more sought after.

He enjoyed challenges, but at the same time, he wanted to make sure his schedule was reasonable and effectively managed. With the increasing prospects, it became absolutely necessary for him to decide, very carefully, which conferences and seminars to attend, what studies and researches to follow-up on, and how all these blend into his ideas and work relating to medical science.

He and Arthur Finley, his mentor from the university, found and owned their medical science firm that provided consultation to the government, health industry and the academia. Although he was originally trained as a neurosurgeon, he felt that his current position allowed him access to the latest knowledge in his fields of interest more efficiently, and thus put him in a better position to afford more widely and positive impact to the public.

He was a man of honor, ideal, and just -- a family characteristic. For a man born with such characters, it was not difficult for him to withhold these family traditions. However, being the only child, and with his loving parents died many years earlier, he had to bear all the glory as well as all the burdens.

He did almost everything with earnest if he believed it was the right thing to do. He often challenged his peers when he felt certain medical practices or applications were too controversial. There were times he was defeated, but he usually took them in stride, for he knew he had done all he could in that matter.

Some people found him reserved, aloof, and proud. His standards and expectations were high, very few people could gain his approval. For those who were privileged enough to earn his good opinions, his friendship with them were long lasting.

He also possessed the rare quality of seeing the goodness in others who were below his class or abilities, although his aristocratic appearance and demeanor did not make it apparent. He respected and cared for his subordinates. In particular, his relationship with his housekeeper was much more than that of master-servant. Clarke was more like a friend, or even an older relation, he was one of his closest confidants especially after his parents' passing.

He was also very attached to his two cousins, Alex and Richard Edwards, both a few years his senior. Alex, the elder, was a widower; he had a young son who occasionally came to stay with Darcy when he was away on business. Richard was still single. The three cousins were more like brothers than cousins, as the only child in his own family, Darcy was thankful for this closeness.

The thought of Richard reminded him the existence of a total stranger in his house at this very moment. Being an extremely private person, he still could not believe what made him agreed to this arrangement, especially he had never done anything of the kind before. Richard could be so persuasive sometimes. "Well, this is only temporary," he gritted his teeth.

Darcy continued his journey. While passing the darkness along the highway, he just remembered that he had not notified Clarke about his early return since he thought that he would be home soon enough. However, it was nearly three hours later than expected that he finally drove up the back entranceway of Ackerley.

He got out of the vehicle and stretched his much cramped muscles and limbs, but he could not give them a complete workout because the rain was still pouring. Briskly he walked up the steps and into the house. He decided to get himself settled as soon as possible, his body demanded it. He would wait until the morning to greet Clarke. Without hesitation, he went straight upstairs to his bedroom.

Upon entering it, he found comfort in seeing everything was in order -- just as it should be. He put his two suitcases in one corner and said to himself, "That will have to wait till tomorrow."

The warm bath rejuvenated him as he felt the fatigue slowly drained away from his body. Afterwards, he was going to throw himself onto the bed, but somehow his habitual yearning for a good read before bedtime persisted. After only a few seconds, his desire gave in. He grabbed the dark blue velour bathrobe from the rack, while putting it on, he headed towards the library downstairs.

Until now, Elyse had never explored the library. Standing at the entrance and considering what she needed to find, she wondered what a daunting task it would be. Tentatively she advanced a few steps and glanced around shelves after shelves on the wall. Finally, she decided to begin at the beginning -- at the first wall of bookshelves.

Once she noticed the groupings, her advance quickened. As she continued to focus on the labels, her body followed accordingly. She was now standing near the huge desk situating against several half-book selves and looking up.

"Oh, I found it! The Psychology section is up there!" she exclaimed upon such a discovery. She squinted her eyes at the collections on the top selves but the desk was on her way. Without thinking and with little effort, she climbed on top of it and continued her search.

She took one book out at a time and flipped through each. At long last, she gathered three big volumes and prepared to climb down from the desk; but when her eyes caught the library entrance, she left out a small scream and covered her mouth with her hands. This caused the volumes she was holding to crash onto the desk, and further tumbled onto the floor.

While he was walking down the hallway leading to the library, Darcy rubbed his eyes several times to dispel the lingering fatigue. As he approached, he thought he saw some light emitting from that direction. "Did Clarke forget to turn off the light? It's so unlike him." Now totally awakened by surprise, he quickened his steps.

When he had just reached the library, he heard a stifled scream, then followed by several loud thuds. At the threshold of the entrance, he immediately caught sight of several befallen books. He lifted his eyes and was astounded to find a pair of bare feet standing atop the huge library desk! His eyes continued on that path and found their owner, a bewildered woman dressed in bedtime attire. Her straight, dark brown hair was still wet, probably from a recent shower. She was now staring at him, wide-eyed and in complete astonishment -- no less than he was. For a few awkward seconds, all the two could do was to stare at each in absolute silence.

Elyse was the first to recover and said, "I...I'm dreadfully sorry, I...I didn't expect anyone else here as Clarke is away until tomorrow. I was just looking for some references for my homework assignment."

By this time, Darcy had also recovered, what the woman just said made him cognizant of the situation. Therefore, he followed, "I beg your pardon! I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm Darcy Fitzwilliam, I just arrived not too long ago, Clarke isn't aware of my return yet. You must be Ms. Windham? Welcome to Ackerley."

Elyse was absolutely mortified! She was painfully aware what a spectacle she must have made of herself -- inappropriately attired and perched atop the library desk! Adding to her misery, she wondered how could she ever get down from the confounded desk without further embarrassing herself? Felt like being caught, she silently cursed at herself, "What would he think of me?" She was totally unaware that the owner himself was not much properly attired either.

Darcy seemed to understand her dilemma as he held out his hands and said, "May I help you?"

Elyse hesitated because that would mean he had to catch her while she descended. She would much rather jump down by herself! But since that was not a viable option, reluctantly she accepted his offer. In a split second, she found herself caught in a pair of strong arms, and then she was placed on the floor.

"Thank you very much." As she muttered her thanks, she lifted her eyes and saw a remarkable face. Although its owner was understandably not in the best of humor, his handsome features were still in full measure. A man in his early to mid thirties, his eyes were dark gray, deep, mysterious, and filled with intelligence, yet they were now very cold and hard. His hair, dark and wavy, was slightly wet, making his appearance slightly unruly. His determined lips and chiseled nose set upon an unshaven face. His arms were strong yet not overly muscular, like the rest of his person. Elyse guessed that he must be a little over six feet tall.

Overwhelmed by what had happened thus far, her lively mind suddenly took a drastic turn. It just dawned on her what a comical display this may appear to an outsider. With that thought in her mind, an indiscernible smile slowly emerged from her mouth, and that rapidly cascaded and reflected in her eyes.

Unfortunately, her audience did not register the same humor at the moment. To begin with, he was darned tired, and this unexpected intrusion had totally disrupted his original purpose and perennial habit of a good read before bedtime. His tolerance was getting dangerously low. Nevertheless, as a man of utter control, he tried not to show his displeasure and remembered his manners.

He picked up the books and handed them to the woman who stood just inches before him. A spirited fragrance -- a mixture of lily, lilac, rose, peony, and violet leaves -- tickled his senses, and unknowingly, he drew in his breath and let his gaze lingered on her.

At first glance, she seemed nothing remarkable, however, something about her beckoned one to take a closer look. Her form was petite yet not too slender, and her face -- clear and natural, totally devoid of makeup -- intensified her innocent look. However, it was her eyes that arrested him -- they were dark and round, and filled with indescribable expressions; a moment ago, they were filled with embarrassment, but just now, they were filled with amusement and mischief.

"What's so funny? Insufferable!" he said to himself agitatedly, "How could anyone find this situation amusing? At this hour? In here? With me?"

Feeling totally disturbed by this female, he had only enough patience to say, "I must beg for your leave for I'm totally worn out after quite an eventful journey. Good night!" With that, he left the library with uncharacteristic abruptness.

While watching his retreating figure, alone in the library again, she thought about what just had happened. "Well, this sure doesn't sound like a promising beginning, does it? How should we go on?" She sighed.

With one hand holding the reference books, she turned off the light in the library with the other. She walked towards her room with the resolution of completing her homework assignment.

Chapter 4: A Second Look

Clarke came home the following day during the late morning hours. Upon seeing his master's black vehicle on the property, he was no more anxious than surprised. Entering the house with unusual haste, Clarke found Darcy in the study catching up with mails, messages, and everything else that had accumulated that required his attention now that he was home again.

"Mr. Fitzwilliam! What a surprise! Welcome home! I hope all's well?" Clarke was concerned about his master's unexpected arrival, but he was also happy to see him again.

"Good morning, Clarke! I'm fine, thank you. I must apologize for not notifying you in advance about my early return." Darcy smiled, got up, and gave the faithful housekeeper several hearty handshakes. He then began to tell him all the reasons for his abrupt return.

"It's good to see you home again, Mr. Fitzwilliam! By the way, have you met Ms. Windham? She has been here since the beginning of the month." Clarke offered.

"Yes, we met last night in the library downstairs, and I think that caused quite a scare. I didn't see her this morning as I woke up later than usual." Not quite recovered from the ruffle on the previous day, Darcy provided as little detail as possible.

"One of my old acquaintances is in the country and I spent some time with him this weekend. My absence must have added to the confusion!" Clarke chuckled, then continued, "You'll see our guest soon enough, this evening as a matter of fact, at dinnertime."

Since Clarke had become increasingly fond of Elyse, it was not long before he provided all that he knew to his master -- what classes she was taking, her children, and her typical week. As Clarke thus rambled, Darcy's eyebrows lifted more than once. He had known Clarke almost all his life, and he knew that he did not warm up to anyone easily. It was obvious to him that this woman had earned the old man's good opinion. Reflecting on last night's episode, however, he was still skeptical and decided to form his own opinion.

Soon Clarke was off to his usual duty and Darcy resumed his. Other than attending to the few urgent engagements, the ones that prompted his return, he had decided to wait a few days before returning to his office -- such flexibility only his position could allow. Anyway, if anything required his immediate attention, he could always conduct business from his virtual office. He began to examine the few high priority items in more detail, and found one stood out among the others -- guest lecturer at Neuhausen University on Neuroscience for this semester on Thursday evenings, beginning this week.

"Neuhausen? Isn't it where that woman is attending?" he was shocked at the coincidence. Nevertheless, there was little he could do. The original lecturer had taken ill and a replacement was urgently needed. Besides, the head of the department was an acquaintance.

Since it was only a few days before the first lecture, he decided not to dwell on nonsensical thing such as this. He made a note to himself to drop by the university after lunch to meet some of the other professors there. Focusing on preparing for the lecture, he got up from his chair, walked to the library next door, and extracted the necessary volumes from the shelves.

Elyse dreaded her return to the lodging for she knew she would come face to face with the owner again, and would many days thereafter. Although she still saw the humor of the encounter from the previous night, upon reflection, however, she had to admit that she made a spectacle of herself. From now on, she would have to be more careful and perhaps needed to confide to her room more often.

"Well, I can spend more time outdoors, can't I? I'll be in nobody's way! Besides, I need to make this trial work, else, Glen may not allow any more of the sort." With that thought, her spirit rallied again. She spent the rest of day with fortitude.

Time was well spent at the university, Darcy concluded as he returned home early evening that day. He made a few new acquaintances and caught up with some of the latest in the medical field. This would provide new insight to his work.

Enticing aroma filled the downstairs when he entered the house, and without giving it a second thought, he walked towards the kitchen. He could hear intermittent laughers coming from that part of the house. As soon as he reached there, his attention was caught by his guest who was now standing in front of the stove stirring something in the pot, while chatting with Clarke amiably.

This was the second time he saw her, and she looked quite different from the first. One thing was obvious -- she was now more appropriately dressed. Wearing a white T-shirt tugged inside a pair of boot cut jeans, her long legs made her appearing much taller than her petite form. She even had shoes on, well, not precisely, only black velvet clogs. She wore some makeup, but very minimal. As she was conversing pleasantly with Clarke, Darcy had to admit that her youthful look could easily blend in with the other students at the university. If one should take a closer look at her hands, he observed, one might assess her age more accurately, for they were indicative of a woman who was an industrious mother and wife.

Upon seeing his master's arrival, Clarke said, "Hello! Mr. Fitzwilliam! Isn't it very kind of Ms. Windham to offer her help? I was a little behind schedule. I'll assure you tho', you won't be disappointed!"

"Oh? We'll find out soon enough, won't we? I hope my many years of experience do not disappoint, but then again, it was practiced against a much lower standard, I'm afraid." Elyse put in good-humoredly.

Compared to the barefooted woman who could barely utter a word last night, this lively bantering caught Darcy in surprise. For the second time in their only two meetings, he found himself quite lost with word again.

The simple and honest meal was very well received. Despite his upbringing, Darcy had always preferred home-style cooking than the fancy one. Quite out of necessity as he was often alone, he could even manage a few simple dishes himself. The conversation was just as pleasurable. It was obvious that Clarke and Elyse had developed quite a rapport, Darcy was inclined to take a closer look at the latter.

He did not know what to expect, but whatever Richard told him before had prejudiced his mind. What was one to suppose to expect from a married woman with two school age children, and only high school education?

He glanced at her again. Most probably, she was unaccustomed to the so-called polite society and the proper social etiquette; nevertheless, he found her manners pleasant and her gestures graceful. He could not help but notice the beautiful expressions accompanied her dark eyes. Her conversation, at time, was quite animating and full of substance. She seemed to possess a board area of interests and knowledge. Indeed, by the end of this observation, he had to admit, to his mortification, that she was not pale at all in comparison with most of his acquaintances.

What about her education, or more precisely, the lack of it?

For a man who prided himself of being a good judge of character, he could not so easily accept the probability that his preconceived notions could be wrong. He was yet to decide on her character, and therefore, reminded himself to remain a casual observer.

Elyse was very much aware of Darcy's examination. Instead of shrinking away, however, she followed his example and began a similar study. He looked more orderly now with his hair dried and face shaven, although she had to admit that the opposites of last night were by no means repulsive. He still looked devastatingly handsome with unmistakable noble air, a vivid proof of his lineage. Although he still appeared remote, somehow she detached a little less rigidity than the previous night. This seemed to soften his demeanor -- he looked almost approachable.

Elyse tried not to let that impression deceived her because he still seemed very indecipherable, and his critical eyes may eventually unnerve her if she allowed it. The two times she saw him, he showed very little emotions and seemed always in control. She had never dealt with the like before, and she wondered if she could ever get to know him better, or rather, whether he would ever let an outsider like herself to do so.

Suddenly she recalled her current arrangement and decided to bring it up again. "When I arrived Clarke told me about the living arrangement, it's very kind of you to offer me a place to stay, but I'd really prefer to pay for your kindness."

Darcy was taken aback at her declaration although he did not show it. After a few seconds, he replied with his usual collectedness, "As it'd been settled, let's not discuss it. I'm glad that I can offer my help, and I hope you don't find your stay unpleasant."

As the owner himself thus pronounced, nothing more could be said on the matter.

Elyse returned to her room soon after. Looking out the windows, she could see the approaching September sunset. Remembering that she should spend more time outdoors, she grabbed the textbook and headed the back yard.

Once there, she surveyed the oversized rocks and settled on the one furthest from the rest. After deciding on the most advantageous position, she sat on the grass with her back leaning against the rock.

Perfect! She sighed. While watching the glorious sunset in the brilliance of autumn, she emerged herself in nature's sonata, composed of bird songs, light breeze, and rustling leaves. She stayed that way until the big, golden orange sank into the western horizon. As darkness was yet to come, she turned to her book and was soon oblivious of everything around her.

Chapter 5: And Life Went On This Way

Back-to-School nights fell on two different days in mid October, so Elyse decided to stay home for that entire week. She always enjoyed meeting Aaron and Aster's teachers and tried to establish open communication early on. In addition, she made the best use of her schedule by accompanying Aster to several medical appointments. Glen usually took care of the dental ones.

Since the change, this was the first whole week she spent at home. Because she still had to keep up with her work and study, she was totally exhausted by the end of the week. Nonetheless, she was very happy to spend extra time with her family.

On the last evening before she returned to Ackerley, Elyse and Glen were alone. Still sensing his odd behavior, her concern increased. She then thought about how lonely he could be during the week when she was not there. Looking at the man she had married all these years, a pang of guilt washed over her, for despite of all his shortcomings, he had always been a loving father.

"What's more important than that?" she thought. She took his hands in hers and gave them an affectionate squeeze, and said gently, "What's on your mind, would you like to talk about it?"

Perhaps sensing her tenderness too, he looked at her earnestly, and after a few seconds, said, "Nothing's really. It just...it just that we miss you." After a short pause, he continued, "Am I still good enough for you?"

She saw a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes and it was so unlike the possessive man she knew, now she felt more remorseful than ever. She tried to assure him and said, "How could you say that when we've gone through so much together?" She reached over and planted a kiss on his cheek. Almost immediately, he returned hers. Nothing more was needed to be said as they proceeded to renew their affections for each other.

Darcy returned to work after spending a few days at home. As usual after an absence, there were plenty to catch up. Lecturing at Neuhausen provided a pleasant diversion from his work. He was now planning a few business trips for the upcoming weeks. Looking over his calendar, he remembered Richard had wanted to visit as soon as he returned from Maine. Since he would be gone again for a while, he decided to invite him and Charlotte over for dinner this coming Wednesday since Elyse did not have class on that day.

She had gone home for the week and he did not see her until Sunday. Other than an obligatory greeting, she headed straight to her room. He found her a little later while taking his customary, solitary stroll on the property. Hidden behind his favorite rock, she was totally absorbed in the books in front of her. He noticed one of them was a volume that fell onto the library floor on the night they first met. He decided to walk towards her.

"There're more current references in the library upstairs, you know."

Elyse almost jumped, and she was totally vexed by this sudden intrusion, besides, this spot was like a sanctuary to her and no one should discover it! Without thinking and with eyes flashing, she charged, "Do you make it a habit of shocking people when it's least expected?"

For some odd reason, Darcy was more amused than offended by her accusation. "Pardon me! Have I caught you off guard again?" When he said that, he almost smiled.

As irritated as she was, she reminded herself that she was still a guest under his roof, hence, she restrained herself and replied in a more polite manner, "I didn't mean to offend, but I'm having some troubles with the course material."

Pointing to the volume from the library, he said, "The information in this book is quite obsolete. As I was saying, you can find more up to date references in the library upstairs. There're several journals and periodicals that you may also find useful. May I show them to you?"

Until now, this was probably the longest sentence she heard him uttered, and she was very much surprised at it, as well as at his seemingly helpfulness. However, she did not dwell on it too much since she urgently needed to understand the course material, so she nodded.

She gathered her books and followed him back to the house upstairs and into the library. After looking through the materials on the selves as he had suggested, she had to acknowledge that they were indeed much more promising. Delighted at this discovery, she began to inspect the collections in earnest.

"You are welcome here anytime," he offered; sensing her enthusiasm, he continued, "I'll leave you to your exploration now, and I promise you that you won't be disturbed again." With that, he left the room.

She stared after his retreating figure and did not know what to make of his fluctuating behaviors. Just now, he looked almost friendly. However, she had no time for such pondering; her priority now was to dive into those newfound treasures. And she stayed that way until a yawn escaped her. After deciding on a few journals that she found most useful, she brought them along to her room downstairs.

"Charlotte!" Elyse cried when she saw her best friend upon returning to Ackerley on Wednesday. They had not seen each other since Elyse applied Charlotte for help in finding this place.

"Elyse!" Charlotte caught her in an embrace, "it's been ages! But since you don't come to see me, I've come to see you instead!"

Although Charlotte was the same age as Elyse, she really looked it. Her real assets were her pleasant and congenital manners, which allowed her personality to shine through the plain exterior.

The two ecstatic friends totally ignored the others until Richard put in, "Now, Elyse, there is another visitor here too, in case you haven't noticed!"

"Richard, so good to see you!" Temporarily released from her friend, Elyse turned to grasp Richard's hands and gave them a friendly squeeze. She did not see Richard that often as she and Charlotte normally had girls-only outings, but what she had seen and heard she liked very much. Besides, he was Charlotte's boyfriend after all. His pleasing manners matched well with Charlotte's practical nature.

Looking at the two cousins standing next to each other, Elyse could not help but notice their drastic differences. Compared to his younger cousin, Richard had light brown hair and dark brown, laughing eyes; he was also a little shorter and more muscular. His manners were open and inviting, although he was quite dashing, he lacked his cousin's aristocratic, distinguished air.

Dinner was barbecue outdoors at the patio and everyone helped. The day concluded with a surprised apples-picking event, and naturally, some fresh apples ended up on the grill.

In the midst of all these activities, the two friends tried to catch up with the latest with each other. Charlotte and Richard were officially 'going steady' with the likelihood of getting engaged soon. Elyse was thrilled and inquired about their future plans. Since Richard's family had a substantial number of friends and families in England, a celebration event commensurate for the occasion, either a formal engagement party or the wedding itself, would likely take place at the family estate there. Charlotte then turned the conversation to her friend.

"So, how is it working out, Elyse?" Charlotte was a little worried because she knew that Darcy's manners were often uninviting, although Richard had assured her that, overall, his cousin was really a fine fellow.

"It was a rocky start, I'm afraid, but I think we're getting along without too much crashes." Seeing her friend's concern, Elyse tried to console her, "The good thing is, we rarely see or talk to each other, and Clarke is such a gem!"

"Well, I'm glad things seem to work out without that much of a mishap. Just hang in there, dear! How about the family?" Charlotte continued.

"Aaron and Aster are adjusting well, and I'm really glad." Elyse was happy to report that.

"How about Glen?" Charlotte persisted.

"He seems very quiet lately," Elyse hesitated before she continued, "...perhaps it's too much work for him, you know, he has to take care of everything while I'm gone. Sometimes I wonder whether I'm doing the right thing." Her voice trailed off as she expressed her uneasiness.

"He did agree to it, didn't he?" Charlotte reassured her, "You need to do what's best, so don't waste your energy in feeling guilty about it, your schedule is quite hectic already, and you need to take care of yourself."

As they continued to talk, Elyse finally felt much better. Being the best of friends, they were good listeners for each other, and most of the time, they managed to help each other in sorting things out. Elyse always felt grateful for having such a friend.

After Richard and Charlotte were gone, Elyse returned to her room and began her usual ritual of preparing for the next day. She was just about finished when she saw the three psychology volumes lying on the desk. Now that she had access to more current references, she decided to return them to the main library.

Once there, she was relieved to find no one was in sight. After closing the heavy mahogany door behind her, she quickly climbed on top of the offended desk and slid the volumes back to their places. Just as quickly, she jumped down and put on her shoes. She was about to reach for the brass doorknob when the door was flung open and the owner of the house walked in.

Startled, the two occupants in the room stared at each other speechlessly. Again, Elyse was the first to recover.

"Good evening, I was just on my way out, after returning the books to their rightful places." She commanded herself to suppress the laugher that was threatened to escape when a particular memory began to seep in her mind. However, she was unaware that that laugher had already reached her eyes and was well on its way to the corners of her mouth.

As she spoke and with her lips curved in that special way, Darcy also saw a flicker of mischief in her eyes. Recollecting a similar look in this same room before, something within the innermost of him stirred, and he actually smiled when he said, "Up on the desk again, weren't you?"

Elyse blushed at his correct deduction, but she met his eyes directly and put in archly, "But this time, I've managed to arrive safely on the floor -- without any assistance!" Without giving him a chance to response, she walked right past him and exited the room.

As he watched her departing figure, he said under his breath, "Insufferable!" Except this time, he found himself far from loathing saying it. And life went on this way for a while.

Chapter 6: A Firm Resolve

The grandeur of autumn reached its peak in the third week in October. Brisk winds that followed gradually carried off the remains of the multitude of red, orange, yellow, and brown leaves. By the end of the month, the stately oaks, maples, and aspens, almost bare of nature's adornment, showed their majestic figures in the crisp air.

In early November, Darcy attended an international conference in Switzerland. As he concluded the business trip, he decided to stop by Pemberley, his family estate in Derbyshire, England, for a quick visit. He seldom visited there, and when he did, it was usually in early spring when the surrounding landscapes were at their peak. His steward, Stan Landon, had been in charge of the estate for many years.

As Darcy entered its magnificent grounds, he had to admit that Pemberley was still quite a sight to behold. Truth be told, however, Darcy much more favored the homier Ackerley as it held his heart; he was the one who designed it and had it commissioned to be built from the ground up.

Although his aristocratic exterior did not show it, but deep inside he felt that Pemberley belonged to an ancient era which seemed remote and unconnected to the present. Besides, either due to his characters or his independent lifestyle, for the life of him, he could never really appreciate all the splendors that the ancient estate had to offer. By no means was he rebellious against his family honor or tradition; however, he just felt that it was time to move on. He had considered converting Pemberley into a museum, but he knew that that decision was not to be made lightly.

Other than the customary visit in the spring, his other visits, like this one, were usually made at the spur of the moment; therefore, he did not expect to see many of his staffs there when he arrived.

"Mr. Fitzwilliam, what a pleasant surprise!" exclaimed the steward as he greeted his master, "I hope you're well since the last time we'd the pleasure of seeing you? And how's Clarke?"

"We're all very well, thank you!" Darcy replied, "I apologize for giving you minimal notice. I've just concluded a conference in Geneva and thought that I'd stop by."

Since Darcy maintained regular correspondence with Stan, nothing required his immediate attention at this time; but he still reviewed the general state of family estate with him. Night came when he was finally settled in Pemberley.

After a quick supper, he promenaded through the ancient hallway upstairs towards the master library. Along the way, he came upon the family portraits that graced the gallery, and there, as usual, he stopped and contemplated the likeness of those who were dear to him. Duplicate copies of the portrait of his parents and grandparents adorned his other two dwellings as well.

"How do I measure to the family traditions?" he spoke as if his parents were present, "I believe I've done my best, with the sense of honor and integrity in all the things I do. I suppose the only thing lacking is an heir." He said the last one in jest.

To his horror, as he thus spoke, the image of a woman with a pair of sparkling, laughing eyes flooded his mind! For a brief moment, he thought he almost saw her standing besides him, with her hands gently holding onto his. Vehemently, he tried to dispel that image, however, alone in his estate, he felt her presence most acutely. As if trying to escape from it all, he quickened his steps towards his intended destination.

As he reached there, he caught himself stopping at the threshold -- the magnificent collections in the master library never failed to impress whenever he set his foot in there. With a more relaxed frame, he strolled across the room and stopped in front of the ceiling-high windows. There he stood and looked into the infinite darkness outside; this position usually offered the most advantageous view of the renowned Pemberley grounds.

Leisurely, he turned around and was about to inspect the collections on the shelves when his eyes caught sight of the big mahogany desk at the far corner. The image of her standing atop another came vividly into his mind, and he had to blink a few times only to find that his imagination was playing tricks on him again. Determined to free himself of any reminder of her, absentmindedly and in haste, he grabbed "The Book of Sonnets" and admonished himself to focus on it once he was in his bedchamber.

His bedchamber was his father's, and his before him, connected to it was his mother's. He remembered how his parents had always occupied his mother's room whenever they stayed at Pemberley. It was not until his mother's passing that his father returned to his own. Darcy loved and missed his parents deeply. Although Alex and Richard's parents were very loving, in his heart, they could not replace the affection from his own.

Once snuggled under the covers, he trusted that his discipline and habitual yearning would settle himself for a good read. After turning a few pages, however, he had to put the book down because he felt his head throbbing. He tried to do the most logical thing came to mind -- sleep -- but that eluded him as his thoughts once again turned to her.

Totally agitated at his uncharacteristic, unruly self, and being an inquisitive thinker, he determined to sort this out. He was convinced that once that was thoroughly done, the source of disturbance would be eradicated. Placing his hands between his head and his pillows while gazing up his bed, he began the cross-examination.

"When did it begin, and what could be the reasons?"

Perhaps he would never know when, but what could be the reasons indeed! She belonged to a social class that was so different from his own. As observed many things over, she was nothing out of the ordinary, except, perhaps, her enigmatic eyes. Well, actually, she was an enigma herself.

She was supposed to be a plain woman way passed her bloom, yet, how often had he seen her with such sweet innocence on her face? How often had he observed the liveliness and mischief in her eyes when she was conversing with others?

She was supposed to be a woman with limited education and no consequence, yet, how often had she surprised him with her knowledge and inquisitive questions and mind? How often had he observed her dedication in pursuing higher education for herself, and her relentless energy in getting the best treatment for her daughter?

He was considered as 'one of the most eligible bachelors' in his circle. As such, he met many women who had repeatedly tried to impress him with their various assets. He found such premeditated arts and allurements distasteful and revolting. Over the years, he had developed such an armor that he congratulated himself in successfully fanning off these unwanted attentions.

In contrast, she had never tried to impress him. Any woman placed in her setting would likely make the best of the situation by demonstrating less than honorary behaviors and intentions towards him. Actually, she never tried to impress anyone for that matter. She was just being herself -- open, honest, caring, full of unpretentious charms.

Her love for her family was evident. How often had he seen her face radiating with the love and pride she must have bestowed on her children? She never said too much about her husband, but how was a man supposed to feel having her as a wife? He could not stop his blood from boiling at that thought, and he had to suppress the accompanying queasy feeling, which was previously unknown to him.

As he thus examined her in his mind, he could feel her presence exhibiting all these characters that he had unconsciously come to admire -- and she had become so dear to him. He had met many accomplished women as measured by worldly standards, however, none, except the one who unknowingly held a tight grip to his heart, had ever affected him this way.

"Where do I go from here?" he continued to question.

"Nowhere," came the painful truth, "as she belongs to another, any revelation of my feelings or encouragement from me will be dishonorable. The sooner I get over this unnatural fascination, the better it will be."

Although he had finally come to this firm resolve, he could not ignore the persistent yearning of his heart, and sleep continued to elude him.

Chapter 7: Without You

Steadfast with the resolve he had made to himself deep in the night at his ancient home, Darcy avoided Elyse as much as possible after he returned to Ackerley. Unfortunately, this also meant seeing Clarke less often. "It cannot be helped, and it's for the best," he tried to convince himself, "thank Heaven she'll be gone soon!"

He spent more time at work and traveled more frequent than usual. When he was home, he avoided all the places where she would most likely be. In the few unavoidable encounters, he hardly contributed to the exchange. The task was strenuous, and by no means easy, especially conversation between Clarke and Elyse during dinnertime was usually quite lively.

Lately, he had to resort his readings elsewhere because Elyse was really studying in earnest. At first, he resented her invasion of his privacy, and the thought that he was being inconvenienced in his own house really vexed him. After the initial agitation had subsided, and knowing that there was little he could do, however, he sighed in resignation and told himself to let matter run its own course.

He found her often in the libraries, especially the one upstairs, mostly sitting or sprawling on the floor with various school materials spreading all around her. He had tried to look away, but more often than not, he yielded to his yearning. Unconsciously, he found himself observing her discretely from his study, taking in all her easy and unpretentious charms. At time such as this, he felt his determination slipping away, and afterwards, he would reprimand his undisciplined heart.

As another diversion, Darcy resumed playing on the piano. He had many years of training and excelled in it. Most of all, he enjoyed the solitude and contentment that it offered. On this Sunday evening, the rain outside inspired him to play Chopin's Raindrop.* Totally immersed in the music, he did not see the little figure slowly approaching him.

Elyse could not dispel the troubles in her mind. Less than two months ago, she thought that whatever that was disturbing Glen, or perhaps, whatever trouble he had with her, was resolved after their open exchange. However, their discord continued; and when she tried to draw him out, he simply continued with his odd silence. Although Glen was still very attentive to Aaron and Aster, his indifference towards her was trying her patience. She was so accustomed to his usual contempt and sarcasm. Upon reflection, she admitted that if she had to choose between the two evils, she would much prefer the familiar, albeit faulted, one. She was affected, she became dispirited, and she felt helpless in not knowing what she had done, if indeed she had done so, to cause his discontentment.

In this state of mind, she reached her lodging. After a quick shower, she was about to sleep her sorrows away when she heard a familiar melody. Recognizing that it was one of her favorite piano pieces, and as if beckoned by it, she decided to trace its origin.

Soon she found the master of the house in the living room playing in earnest, lost in a world of his own. The emotions, which varied with each measure, were vividly showing on his face -- such facet was completely unknown to her before. As she continued to watch and listened in fascination, she wondered what other feelings were locked up inside this man. Suddenly, she realized that other than the reserved and distinguished man he presented on the outside, she hardly knew him at all.

As the last note ended, Darcy was slowly brought back to the present, and as he lifted his head, he found, standing in front of him, the one person in the world he had resolved to avoid. With his unbidden emotions taken over, he did not know how long he had kept staring at her before she broke the silence.

"That was beautiful!" Elyse said with heartfelt delight, for the exquisite melody, like a balm, helped to soothe her troubled mind. "Chopin is one of my favorite composers. What other composer and selections do you like?"

The dreadful silence resumed as he tried desperately to regain his composure, which had so easily decomposed by her unexpected presence. What was worse, he felt the turmoil raged inside him again -- he wanted to be curt, yet he wanted to surrender. Until this moment, he did not realize how much he had missed seeing and talking to her.

Finally, he responded in a constrained tone, "Thank you, I...I'm glad you don't find my playing lacking as I haven't practiced in a while." After a short pause, he continued, "I favor neither any particular composer nor piece, I simply like whatever appeals to me."

Elyse was surprised because she felt the same. She could easily list her favorite masters and their compositions, but she never restricted her appreciation to the classical alone. However, she did not ponder for too long as it was quite late; and upon sensing the impropriety of the situation, she excused herself.

She was about to turn towards the direction of her room when Darcy noticed the dispirited look in her eyes, and instantly, he felt a tight tug in his heart. How dearly he wanted to talk to her, to comfort her, to know what troubled her, and to free them all for her! But as it was never meant to be, he restrained himself. After a brief "Good night," they went their separate ways.

"Darcy!" Geoffrey Edwards flew himself into Darcy's arms as soon as he came into the house just a week before Christmas. As if remembering his manners, he turned to Clarke and said, "Mr. Shelton, how do you do?"

"Darcy! Clarke! How are you?" Alex Edwards followed his son and heartily greeted his cousin and the housekeeper.

Clarke was very happy to see the master's elder cousin and his young son again. They usually spent the holiday season here in Ackerley. Richard, as well as the parents, would join them here on Christmas Eve.

Alex resembled Richard in many ways -- the same hair color, height and built, except that his eyes were dark-blue; but the most striking difference was his demeanor -- he appeared more mature and steady, and it attributed to more than the five years difference in age between the two brothers. He was a renowned ophthalmologist and occasionally provided consultation to Darcy's company. He was married to Holly but she died at a car accident three years ago. Geoffrey was their only child.

To Darcy, Alex and Richard were more like brothers than cousins, and he had a different relationship with each. Richard, being only two years his senior, was quick to humor himself on his account. Alex, more than seven years his senior, was like a protective older brother. Richard sometimes complained jokingly that his brother seemed to care more about his cousin than himself.

Final examinations were finally over and Elyse felt confident about her grades. A sense of accomplishment washed over her as she realized that, although very slowly, she was getting closer and closer to her goal. The fall semester would be finished in two days and the university would be closed for winter recess for about a month before it resumed classes on the second week in January. As she thought about returning home during this period, she had mixed feelings. Certainly, she would be happy to spend more time with Aaron and Aster again, but Glen was another matter.

Her thought was disrupted by a child's laughter as she entered Ackerley. The delightful sound was then followed by a succession of quick footsteps. Within seconds, Elyse found herself coming face-to-face with a laughing, handsome child, who, upon seeing a total stranger, stopped at his track and looked up with his big, dark-blue eyes in questions. Recalling Clarke had mentioned about the expected arrival of the family members, she smiled warmly at the bewildered child and introduced herself.

"Hello! You must be Geoffrey, I've heard so much about you." After a short pause, allowing the child to response, she continued, "How are you? My name is Elyse." She held out her hands.

"Please excuse the child," said the man who resembled Richard, "I'm Alex, Darcy's cousin, and this is my son, Geoffrey." He patted the youngster's blond head affectionately.

As he spoke, Alex's eyes rested on Elyse and unconsciously began to assess her. Her face and eyes were now aglow with genuine kindness and pleasure as her gaze lingered on his son. His heart gave a pang as he recalled how his deceased wife once had the same look on her face. Perhaps it was one of the maternal virtues and instincts? Although they had just met, for some reason, he had decided that he liked her.

"Alex, it's a pleasure. Richard has mentioned about you and the rest of the family. Your child is delightful!" As Elyse returned Alex's greeting, her eyes were now fixed on him. The resemblance of the two brothers was unmistakable, so was of the father and son.

Standing a little off the side, Darcy watched the exchange with curiosity. The subtle approval of his elder cousin bestowed on his guest did not go noticed by him. This was quite extraordinary because he knew that Alex, unlike Richard, did not approve anyone so easily.

As if by instinct, Geoffrey had also decided to favor Elyse. He extended his little hands to hers and said, "May I see your room? I can show you mine later."

Elyse laughed, "Well, I'll be glad to, if it's okay with your father."

Alex was a little embarrassed at his son's forwardness, but he nodded nonetheless. A very happy child was led down the hallway to Elyse's room. After his inspection, Geoffrey led Elyse to the spare bedroom upstairs, where he and his father would occupy during their stay.

Dinner was very pleasant as the family members renewed their acquaintances. Feeling a little out of place, Elyse tried to be an observer at first. However, it was not long before the delightful Geoffrey drew her out with his curiosity and innocence, which was so typical of a nine-year-old.

Long after dinner, Geoffrey's incessant dialog with Elyse on ancient Egyptian civilization continued at the cozy corner in the main library, where he slowly drifted off to sleep. As she looked at the sweet and innocent child leaning against her, her longing for her own children increased. She was glad to know that in two days she would be with them again. Her thought was interrupted by the resonance timbre she came to recognize.

"Let me take him to his room," said Darcy, trying to relieve Elyse. He knew another long day was awaiting her tomorrow. As he reached out to Geoffrey, the proximity made him aware of her unique spirited scent more acutely, and he was aghast at the sudden dizziness that was rushing to his head. At the same time, unavoidably, he brushed her arm. Trembling at the touch, he gave himself a little shake as he extracted the little boy and carried him out of the library. As soon as he thought he was out of sight, he left out the breath that he had been holding.

When Darcy was removing Geoffrey from her side, Elyse thought she saw a glimpse of gentleness in his eyes at first, then that expression changed to something deep, intense, and strangely indecipherable. As she watched his departing figure, she felt that she had just discovered another facet of the man who continued to puzzle her.

For the next two days, Elyse and the visitors became better acquainted. Knowing Alex was an ophthalmologist, she asked him many questions about cornea corrective surgery. She was concerned about Aster, who was very near-sighted for her age, and the vision problem further complicated her already challenged capabilities. Alex was impressed with Elyse's inquisitive mind and her knowledge in the current surgical procedures, therefore, he was more than willing to share what he knew. He was also affected by her devotion to her daughter.

Everyone began to decorate Ackerley for the holiday. Elyse helped Clarke with some of the baking, and Clarke insisted her to take some home. When it was time for Elyse to leave, she gave a collection of holiday gifts to Clarke. "Will you be so kind to put them under the tree for me?" Giving his hands a few squeezes, she continued, "A joyful holiday season to you all! See you next year!"

Besides Clarke, there was at least one other person in the house who would miss her dearly although he would never admit it. In fact, he was thankful for this respite, and was confident that a whole month of absence would surely rid all her powers over him.

The Windham's celebrated the holiday season with the traditional activities -- home and tree decorations, gift exchanges, and family visits. They attended the holiday concerts at Aaron and Aster's schools. The children usually had a holiday wish list and together they reviewed it with Elyse. In addition to receiving the gifts they all agreed on, they often found a few extra surprises that never failed to delight them. Elyse and Glen usually exchanged items that were more practical. Overall, the holiday season renewed hopes and reminded everyone to appreciate and be content with their own treasures.

Darcy spent the holiday season with those who were dear to him. Richard and his parents arrived on Christmas Eve morning. Robert Edwards was a very pleasant gentleman approaching seventy, although advanced in age, his figure was still quite trim. His dark brown eyes were keen and his manners inviting. Beverly, his wife all these years, was an attractive, kind woman in her mid-sixties with silvery blond hair and dark-blue eyes. Like her husband, she still moved with elegance and zest. They were excellent parents and doted on their sons; they were very attached to Darcy's parents. Robert's sister, Ann, was Darcy's mother, who married George Fitzwilliam. When Anne died, then several years later followed by George, Robert and Beverly were devastated. Since then, they had filled the vacant parental places and lavished their nephew with all their love and affection.

After all the holiday trimmings were done, the entire household, including Clarke, boarded Darcy's private jet that took them to New York City. They attended the performance of Handel's Messiah at Carnegie Hall. The rest of the evening was spent in the city. After returning to Ackerley, they celebrated the holiday seasons with the usual affairs of visiting friends, catching up with the latest family news, and just enjoying the company of each other.

The Edwards' left two days after the New Year. Darcy returned to work and everything resumed its usual ritual. In the quiet hours of the night, alone in his house, however, Darcy's thought was again drifted to the forbidden one. "How is she doing? Did she have a happy holiday? Is she looking forwards to another semester?" he wondered.

It would still be more than two weeks before she returned. To his dismay, he just realized that he had been counting the days for her return. While thinking thus, he felt the all too familiar twinge deep within his heart, and instinctively, he put his right hand against it, trying to soothe the pain away in vain. No, he could not rid her from his being, instead, he felt her presence in everywhere and everything he did...

... He imagined her joining in the holiday fun with his uncle, aunt, cousins, and friends... He imagined her standing next to the piano as he played the Christmas carols... He imagined her helping Clarke in the kitchen... He imagined her outside building snowman with Geoffrey and heartily engaging in a snowball fight... At night, while the snow was falling quietly outside, in the warm glow of the fireplace, he imagined her cuddling up in the library sofa while reading her favorite book with pleasure.

As he thus imagined, each vision added to the incessant twinge in his heart, and he knew not what to do. "How do I go through life without you?" he whispered in despair.

* Preludes (24) for Piano, Op. 28: No. 15 in Db "Raindrop" (Frederic Chopin)

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