Beginning, Section II, Next Section

Chapter 8: A Revelation

After the holiday recess, Elyse's family resumed the usual ritual. Since there were still two more weeks before the university resumed, she took advantage of the extra time to do some pre-spring cleaning.

Aaron stayed at his friend's house after school today and did not return until much later, feeling quite exhausted. After a quick bath, he went right to sleep. Aster had also retired for the night after Elyse read her a bedtime story.

"I need to talk to you," with a strained voice, Glen approached Elyse as soon as she arrived in the family room downstairs.

The sound of his voice and the look on his face startled her, as she had never seen him this way. Involuntarily, she took a seat on the sofa first before she said, "What's the matter?"

"I don't know how to say this, but..." he stammered first but then plunged in, "let me be brief, we can't stay together any longer."

Very much alarmed and not trusting what she had just heard, she gasped and stared at him for a few seconds before she could continue, "What do you mean, Glen? Please tell me!"

"Look, I don't think we're good together anymore. You always want to do more things, like now, you're hardly ever home because of your ambition!" he accused mercilessly.

"But Glen, I thought we've been through this many times before, and you've agreed to it. What's with all these complains now?" She could not believe what was happening.

"No, I don't think you're satisfied with me, and you know what? I think you think that I'm not good enough for you," he continued hotly. "Otherwise, you won't keep doing this to me!"

"Is it wrong for me to get a better education?" she countered. "Besides, haven't we agreed that knowing more about Special Education will help Aster?"

"We're doing fine as is, without your ambition," he persisted. "Besides, I've been seeing someone else and I want a divorce."

"You what?!" The last statement came as a blow. So, this is the crux of the matter!

"Yes, I've been seeing someone else, someone who's happy just being a normal woman without all the fuss!" he revealed.

"Will you please have the decency to tell me who and since when?" she choked on her own words.

"I'll be frank, it's Linda, the receptionist at Dr. Braun's office." Unashamed, he continued, "we started seeing each other a few months ago, right after your move."

It now dawned on her that for quite some time now, whenever he returned from the dental visit, he would comment on how agreeable the receptionist was. She met her a few times and remembered that she was an attractive woman in her mid thirties, divorced and with no children. She also remembered that for the past two years, he had sent her a holiday present, along with the one they usually sent to the dentist. She now wondered how she could have missed these telltale signs before.

Feeling revolted and violated, she demanded the truth, "Have you two been -- "

"Yes, yes," he interrupted, "but only since November, and never in this house."

This was the ultimate betrayal! She was outraged and heartbroken, she felt bitter and sick just thinking about it. She burst into tears.

Why me? Is he telling the truth now? How can I believe that there weren't any others?

She had always tried to be a dutiful wife and had done her best to please him. Speechless for quite some time, she tried hard to control her raw emotions before she continued.

"How could you? After all these years, and I've been true to you," she continued to sob. "Is there anything I can do to change your mind?"

"Look, let's face it, we can't stay together anymore, and as I've told you already, I've found someone else."

"But, what about Aaron and Aster? How would they feel? What is to become of them?"

"Well, people get divorced every day, it's not like the end of the world, you know, they'll get used to it."

As always, she put her children's well being above everything else. She felt that he was taking this much too lightly. She understood her children well enough to know that they would be devastated. Judging from his action and what he had just revealed, it was obvious that he was adamant about his decision. She had no option but to accept this horrific truth.

"I need more time to think about this," she pleaded, "let's continue tomorrow. Do you think you can take tomorrow off so we can talk about this some more when Aaron and Aster are at school?"

He nodded. Knowing what she knew now, she could not possibly stay in the same bedroom with him anymore. He took the cue; and they agreed that he would sleep in the guestroom downstairs from now on.

Alone in her bedroom, Elyse began to reflect on what had just happened minutes ago downstairs -- the few minutes that had turned her world completely upside down. She sat on the chair and looked at the dresser mirror as a helpless, pathetic woman looked back.

What have gone wrong? What did I do? Or what didn't I do?

She knew that she and Glen were incompatible in many ways, but she had thought that they were getting along tolerably well, not unlike most typical families. Besides, how many perfect families are there? She had never dreamed that he could make such a pronouncement, after all these years and having two children.

She looked at the mirror again. No, she had to admit that she had neither beauty nor figure, as the receptionist's meticulous-makeup face and womanly figure appeared next to her own reflection. She supposed that regardless of how some men had proclaimed that a woman's essentials were more endearing, but the material point, it seemed, was that the physical attributes, and the desires that ignited, reined. She was never conscientious about her looks, and it just occurred to her that he had never commented on it. Can I assume that my looks, or lack of it, the cause of his betrayal?

He had never been thrilled about her career or study. Am I wrong to support my family or to further my education?

Questions such as these encircled her mind and exhausted her, and when this reflection was through, she had to accept the fate that was now thrust upon her.

Glen is not satisfied with me for a variety of reasons -- he feels threatened by my career and study, I'm no longer desirable, he has found someone else, he has betrayed me, he doesn't want to stay in this marriage.

As she came to these conclusions, she looked down at the gold band on her finger. After giving it a few turns, very slowly, she removed it and put it in the jewelry box there on the dresser. Looking at the modest content inside, she took out the platinum opal ring her parents gave her on high school graduation day, which seemed so long ago. As she stroke the iridescence gem stone gently, her father's words came vividly into her mind...

Finish each day and be done with it.

You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can.

Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense. *

Her father never really approved her marriage to Glen, feeling that she was still too young and he was too possessive for her own good. Nonetheless, he had never failed to support her, and whenever she was troubled, he would comfort her. He had passed on for several years; the memory of him and his words were her only comforts now -- and these particular ones meant so much more to her at a time liked this.

After stroking the opal ring a few more times, she put it on the same finger from which the token of her marriage was obliterated.

Regardless of how their marriage had become, she would always have affection for him. Why wouldn't she? After all, they were married for so long and there was Aaron and Aster. But if their marriage were irreconcilable, it would be futile to hold him back. Certainly, it would be painful at first, but it would be even more so if they were forced together for the wrong reasons. The most sensible and practical thing to do, she decided, was to salvage what remained of their marriage. With that thought, she had her emotions tolerably under control, and began to assess the ramifications of the revelation.

Elyse and Glen proceeded to discuss the implications resulting from their marriage dissolution. They would contact the lawyers immediately. Since Glen wanted to be free as soon as possible, they would file for the simplified procedures. For once, he seemed very compromising. He agreed on having Elyse as the sole custody of the children and would provide the needed child support. Elyse and the children would keep the house as their residence. While the motion was in progress, he also agreed to maintain the current living arrangement. In order to minimize the traumatic effect on Aaron and Aster and not to further complicate the matter, Elyse insisted on not bringing Linda into the picture until the process was finalized.

In the midst of this painful discussion, the only comfort for Elyse was that they tried to work out the situation as amiable as possible and with the children's well being in mind. She was actually looking forward to the upcoming semester, feeling that it could provide a respite from the revelation, a calamity which, she believed, would continue to plague and disturb her for as long as she lived.

Towards the end of the winter recess, Darcy was becoming more and more unsettled. While at work and during meetings, he caught himself being addressed to questions that he realized he had not been attended to. At home, he wandered about aimlessly and agitatedly, not even piano playing could soothe his savage breast **. At the dining table, he said and ate little, and would look at the vacant seat in front of him. During this unsettling period, it was a welcome relief that when the university resumed, he could revert his temporary post to the original lecturer, who had recently regained his health.

Clarke became very concerned, but knowing the private nature of his master, very reluctantly, he let matter run its own course but resolved to keep a close watch, with the hope that he would improve soon.

This evening in his study, Darcy continued to deal with the fluctuations of emotions that had been driving him to the brink -- he could not wait to see Elyse, yet he wanted to avoid her. For a man who prided himself of never failing to keep his head above his emotions, he was totally unprepared for this unnatural event in his life. Totally vexed with himself, he got up and walked downstairs while the agonizing thoughts persisted.

Why do I keep wasting my time and energy in this madness? Haven't I already come to the only possible resolution?

He gave himself a violent shake, as if that would free him from the affliction. He was in this state when Elyse arrived. He must be quite a frightful sight because she stopped on her track for more than a few seconds before she began her obligatory greeting.

"Happy New Year! I hope everything's well?"

Her sudden arrival only further unnerved him, and so much so that that his voice completely deserted him, and his only response was staring at her in complete turmoil. When at last his faculty was regained, he replied in a chilly tone.

"Yes, thank you, and may I wish you the same."

Standing there alone with her, he felt himself slipping hopelessly away. Discomfited, he ruffled his already disheveled hair absentmindedly with his fingers. When he could not trust himself to continue any further, he put in, "I beg your pardon, I was just on my way upstairs. Good night." Without giving the maddening woman another glance, he walked out of the room.

Elyse was not unfamiliar with his manner such as this, but as she was undergoing perhaps the most traumatic event in her life, his curtness only further tipped off her already delicate balance. As she walked towards her room, she could not help but admitted that Glen was right after all -- not only was she undesirable, she must be downright repulsive. Never in her life had she have such low opinion of herself. She tried not to let her failed marriage clouded her judgment but it was only natural that she felt dejected.

Desperately needing to regain some of her bearings, she indulged herself in a long, warm bath. Afterwards, she rested her upper body on a pillow on her bed and looked into the glowing amber in the fireplace. As she watched the slow, dancing flame, she let the mellow heat soothed her body and mind.

"Just a few more months, then this place also will only be a memory. I must hold on, I cannot fail in my study too." She must anchor herself.

* Ralph Waldo Emerson
** Full text: "Music hath charms to soothe the savage breast, To soften rocks, or bend a knotted oak." (William Congreve)

Chapter 9: All The Things You Are

Gradually over the next few weeks, Elyse embarked on the delicate process of breaking the news to Aaron and Aster. Attempting to soften the blow as much as possible, she discussed the particulars and rehearsed with Glen first. On the day the inevitable was revealed, they repeatedly reassured the youngsters that regardless of how their parents felt about each other, they would always love and care for them and be parts of their lives. While Aster could not grasp the implication yet, Aaron's reaction was entirely different. Certainly, he was saddened by the news, but because of his maturity and intelligence, he understood that he and his sister were not to blame for their parents' discourse. Elyse had always known him to be wise beyond his age, but now she was especially thankful for it. Soon after, as part of the settlement, Elyse and Glen began to discuss a parenting plan, that they would maintain a focused family environment regardless of their marriage status.

During this turbulent time, Elyse was saddled with sorrow and fear. Although she had submitted to her fate, she could not ignore or forget the humiliation and pain that the betrayal had thrust upon her. But it was the future, a future in which two innocent children would be solely in her charge that she was most fearful of. Oddly enough, in certain ways, she felt her shares of the blame. If she had done more, she surmised, perhaps Glen would not become astray, and her family would not suffer. Thoughts such as these continued to unsettle her, and she desperately needed time -- and a lot of it -- to adjust to the newfound revelation and state. She was not yet ready to reveal her secret, notwithstanding that Charlotte was her best friend. Upon further reflection, she decided to wait until the matter was finalized before telling her friend.

Charlotte and Richard came for dinner one night and pronounced their engagement. No one was surprised and everyone was naturally happy for them.

"Congratulations, Charlotte! Such wonderful news!" Elyse was ecstatic, this piece of news was the best in quite some time, and it lifted her downcast spirit considerably. "So, what's next?"

"Well, Richard's parents have decided to give an engagement party at their family estate since the wedding will be in the States," Charlotte replied. "And you are all invited to come!" Looking at Elyse, she continued, "The greatest news is that it'll be at the beginning of March, during your spring break!"

Once the initial excitement had subsided, Elyse had mixed emotions while watching the newly-engaged couple continued to reveal their plans. She was genuinely happy for her friend, but that only contrasted more sharply with her sad state. She sincerely wished the best for her friend's marriage, hoping that it would fare much better than her own.

Since Elyse's return, Darcy's world had returned to a much more tolerable state and he had resumed the safe role of a casual observer. Lately, he noticed traces of sadness replaced the usual brightness in her eyes, and there was a melancholy about her that at times, even her trying liveliness could not mask. Without thinking, his gallantry prompted him to suggest what he hoped would be a pleasant diversion. Remembering his family estate visit in the spring, he offered, "Perhaps you can come visit Pemberley while you're there, it's only an hour away. I usually go there during that time of the year."

Since he did not extend that invitation to anyone in particular, it was then interpreted by some as an open invitation to everyone in the room.

"We'll love to, but it all depends on how the engagement event goes," Richard teased. "I don't mean to be rude, Darcy!"

While the cousins were talking, Elyse had an entirely different interpretation. In fact, she did not think Darcy meant the invitation for her at all, and therefore, did not comment on it. Besides, how was she supposed to behave in a grand place like that? She was already feeling a little uneasy about attending Charlotte's engagement party in Richard's family estate, which she heard, was pale in comparison to Darcy's.

After thinking over Charlotte's invitation and considering her pending divorce, her state of mind, and the total unfamiliarity and the feeling of inferiority of the elite social class, Elyse decided not to attend. Anyway, her mind and body were not ready for such an exhaustible event. A few days later, she pleaded for her excuse.

"You must come! How can I be happy without you there with me?" Charlotte was disappointed.

"I'm really sorry, and believe me, I'm more disappointed than you," Elyse tried to make her friend understand. "You know Glen doesn't like me to be away."

"He can go to the devil! But you must come!" cried Charlotte. "Besides, I've already reserved round-trip tickets for you. It was supposed to be a surprise gift."

"Please, you haven't! No, it's not right!" exclaimed Elyse. "Anyway, you know too well that I'm not up to snuff with this high society thing."

"I think you've underestimated yourself on that account," Charlotte protested. "Guess what? Another surprise for you -- my excellent planning also includes the both of us taking a refresh course in social dancing. What are you going to say now?"

"Charlotte, you're impossible! You know I've hardly ever danced in my life, nor have I the inclination or talents," Elyse laughed at that picture of herself. "I'll be stepping on everyone's toes and put you in total shame!"

"So be it! If anyone felt offended by you, they'd offend me too!" Charlotte put in.

The matter was then decided, as Elyse could not think of any other excuses. However, she did not regret the final decision, because in her heart, she loved to share what would be one of the happiest moments in her best friend's life.

While the flight was in its journey to the Edwards' estate, Elyse's thought turned to her present state of affair. Charlotte and the rest of Richard's family had left two days earlier to attend to all the details for the special occasion. Clarke had volunteered to stay behind to accompany her. With gratitude, she turned to look at her napping companion.

Last night after school, she went home to ensure everything was well before she left for Europe. When she returned, she planned to spend the rest of the spring recess with Aaron and Aster. It would mean so much to the youngsters if Glen would join them, but it was not her prerogative. According to the lawyers, the divorce should be finalized in a few months. They did not anticipate any complications as the couple had agreed on most of the key provisions. As the legal process was in motion, the fear of assuming the role of a single parent with all the additional responsibilities would often crept in at the most unguarded moments. Silently, she prayed that she would be given the courage and strength to carry on.

She shifted her body slightly to stretch her limbs while her eyes again drifted to her companion. When the semester ended in May, she would return home. From thereafter, her study would resume its previous lighter load. She would definitely miss all the advantages offered by the current living arrangement, but most of all, she would miss Clarke. In these few months, she had developed a special friendship with him, and she hoped that her departure would not sever it entirely.

Her dealing with Darcy was quite different. He was seldom there to be sure, however, even when he was around, he said very little to her. Regardless of the limited interaction, she had never doubted his intelligence or the consequences he could command. It was fascinating to hear about his accomplishments and the visions he had for his company. The thought of him reminded her of his gazes, which she found, were the most discerning. More often than not, she did not know what their meanings or how she was supposed to response to them. She could only perceived the obvious fact that in his eyes, she was inferior in all measures when comparing to his circle. Regardless of how she felt or how she thought he felt about her, she had to admit that it had been a privilege to know him. As she thus reflected, she was grateful for his generosity, and it was a relief to know that she would not force upon this generosity much longer. She hoped she had not disrupted his household too much.

After the rest of the party arrived in the Edwards' estate, Darcy took an alternate route to Pemberley. This routine visit was quite different from the one he took last November, with many more people bustling in the great house. He paid the usual greetings and compliments to his staffs, when finally, he settled down with his steward to review the list of items requiring his attention.

When he reached his uncle's place two days later, the main hall was decorated with all the grandeur for the special occasion. In less than an hour, the guests would begin to arrive. Unconsciously, he scanned the room hoping to find her.

After looking at her reflection in the mirror one more time, Elyse took a deep breath and proceeded to walk towards the main hall downstairs where the celebration would soon begin. Earlier, she was escorted to a guestroom not too far from Charlotte's. Afterwards, Richard gave them a brief tour of the house inside.

She was on her way when she heard, "Elyse! Please wait for me!" Seemingly out of nowhere, Geoffrey, even handsomer in his formal attire, came running towards her.

She could not help but smile. Geoffrey was such a delightful child, he reminded her of Aaron when he was about the same age, always happy and cheerful.

"Why, sure, it's an honor to be escorted by a handsome gentleman, you know!"

Darcy was deep in conversation with his uncle and aunt when he caught the delightful sight of Geoffrey leading Elyse down the hall. When his eyes fixed on Elyse, he had to blink a few times before registering the vision coming his way. He could not regular his breathing, which had stopped on its own as soon as she came into view.

For sure, everyone was transformed into a more refined version for this occasion, but the change in her, although not drastic, elicited yet more emotions that were previously unknown to him. The carefree little creature was now more captivating then ever. Her black stretch velvet dress, simple yet elegant, befitted her perfectly. A simple white pearl strand adorned her creamy neck. Her dark hair, styled with the slightest curve, accentuated her beautiful laughing eyes, innocent features, and flawless complexion. A pair of white gloves and a small satin evening bag completed her outfit. She moved towards his party with her natural elegance and poise.

As she approached, while at the same time laughing good-naturedly with Geoffrey, Robert and Beverly Edwards also took notice. Robert was the first to comment, "So, this is the guest in your house? I've heard much about her. Other that the pleasing countenance, she's quite different from what I've expected." His wife also agreed.

When Elyse reached his party, Darcy collected himself and began the introduction, "Aunt Beverly, Uncle Robert, may I introduce Ms. Elyse Windham."

Elyse did not have the chance to meet the elder couple earlier as they were quite preoccupied with the preparation. As she responded to the introduction, she held her gaze while giving them a quick sweep. It did not take her too long to decide that she liked what she saw, and her mind, once apprehensive, was no more. Beyond the formal exteriors, she thought she detected the slightest twinkles in their eyes, and unknowingly, she responded with her own. Any skepticism on the part of the elder couple in regard to their nephew's houseguest seemed to vanish at the end of the introduction. They proceeded to introduce her to the other guests.

The party was progressing agreeable in the midst of grand style. What made it so, thought Elyse, when she had a moment of solitude to reflect, was how the Edwards' had managed to put everyone, regardless of their station in life, at ease. She had expected the evening to be formidable, one that she had dreaded and thought very much beyond her league. It was then very surprising that although she was among mostly strangers, she found herself actually enjoying it. She was also grateful for Charlotte's suggestion on the dance lessons. By no means was she an accomplished dancer, but she did dance with the immediate members of the host family without much mishap. As the evening passed, she even managed, on occasions, to stop the revolting, painful intrusion that had been haunting her incessantly since that fateful night.

She was thus meditating when she heard a familiar resonance voice addressing her, "May I have this dance?" Without knowing how she had responded or how it came about, she found herself whisked to the dance floor in Darcy's arms, in the tune of one of her favorite songs.

Time and again, I've longed for adventure
Something to make my heart beat much faster
What did I long for I never really knew
Finding your love, I found my adventure
Touching your hand, my heart beat much faster
All that I want in all of this world, is you

You are the promised kiss of springtime
That makes the lonely winter seem long
You are the breathless hush of evening
That trembles on the brink of a lovely song
You are the angel glow that lights the star
The dearest things I know are what you are

Someday my happy arms will hold you
And someday I'll know that moment divine
When all the things you are, are mine *

For whatever reason, either the hauntingly beautiful music, the surprises felt by both, or yet another, they maintained mostly silent as they immersed in the unison brought together by that enigmatical force. Completely perplexed by his invitation, Elyse could only attribute it as one of his obligatory acts. When she finally looked up and met his eyes, she saw that familiar expressions inside, the same ones on the night he reached over and took Geoffrey from her. Being curious and determined to decipher their meanings, she gazed bravely into those mysterious, dark gray orbs.

Darcy did not remembered how it happened, but his being had acted on its own accord, when suddenly, he found himself here, with her. In his heart, he knew there was no other place he would rather be; and like a thirsty, hungry child with all the urgencies, he gulped down and devoured all her presence with his senses. But it was then very slowly that he let it burned into his memory -- for he knew moment such as this was rare. And when her glorious dark eyes gazed so intently into his, he could not and did not want to look away.

...All that I want in all of this world, is you...
...The dearest things I know are what you are...
Someday my happy arms will hold you
And someday I'll know that moment divine
When all the things you are, are mine...

As the music and her proximity continued, although his exterior never betrayed his true emotions, he felt himself slipping away precariously. With great reluctance, he prayed for the conclusion.

At last, the song finally ended. Stiffly, he murmured his thanks and parted with his partner. As he turned away, he was finally able to relieve the breath that he had been holding. Feeling the desperate need to regain his composure, he left the hall and walked through the doors leading to the balcony outside.

To Elyse, the perplexity she felt at the beginning of the dance persisted as she watched his departing figure. Although she was not offended, his forced politeness and hauteur were so evident that she wondered why did he go through all the troubles in the first place. Dancing with her obviously did not bring him any pleasure. As if dismissing those few minutes from her mind, she shrugged her shoulders and steered her attention to the felicitous couple and the other activities in the room instead.

* All The Things You Are (Jerome Kern & Oscar Hammerstein)

Chapter 10: What'll I Do

Next day during the late morning hours, Darcy arrived at his uncle's estate to extend an invitation for a Pemberley visit. Since Charlotte and her soon-to-be relatives would like to get better acquainted, they decided to postpone the visit for a few days. At the end, Darcy brought Geoffrey, Clarke and Elyse along.

Elyse was totally unprepared for this extra excursion, but as she could not find a plausible excuse without appearing ungrateful at what presumably a very generous offer, she acquiesced. And there she would stay before returning home.

Other than Geoffrey's interjections and conversation with Clarke in the backseats, they rode mainly in silence, appreciating the charming, picturesque English countryside along the way.

As soon as Pemberley appeared in the horizon, Elyse knew everything she had heard was true. Yet, there was something more, something intangible, indescribable and immeasurable, as this 'something' could only be felt at the presence of an estate such as this. As she studied the magnificent structure -- backed with mountain ridges and fronted an echoing lake -- another one, although different in style and much smaller in scale, came into her mind. Despite of the obvious differences, the similar impressions of the two houses -- stately yet homely -- were unmistakable. She wondered whether this coincidence was by chance or by design.

Unknowingly, and to no one in particular, she exclaimed, "How extraordinary it is, that in certain ways, Pemberley and Ackerley resembles each other!"

Since she was sitting next to Darcy in the front, he heard her clearly. The connection she made between the two houses did not surprise him at all. When he was looking for a place in the States, he had deliberately wanted one that would remind him of Pemberley. And when he found none of his liking, he commissioned Ackerley to be built. What surprised him, however, was in all these years, this connection was never noticed by anyone until now.

Completely caught off guard, with an odd expression on his face, he replied, "What made you think so?" He wanted to hear what she had to say.

"Well, it's hard to explain, just that I 'feel' the resemblance, it's a combination of the physical and atmospheric attributes that I perceived." Looking at his unreadable face, she laughed at her own inadequacy, "I suppose I didn't quite answer your question? But I'm afraid I cannot add to what I've already said."

She was sure she appeared ridiculous at the outburst and incoherent words; however, she did not know that they produced quite the opposite effect. To Darcy, no more words were necessary. He knew exactly what she meant! He gave her a knowing, appreciative smile but did not comment on her perceptiveness. Soon after, they arrived at the great house.

After a quick introduction to the staffs, the guests were escorted to their assigned rooms upstairs while Clarke went to his usual quarter downstairs. Geoffrey's room was directly across the hallway from Elyse's, and that was adjacent to the master's.

"Come, Elyse, let me show you around!" exclaimed Geoffrey as he held tightly onto her hand. He pulled her towards the direction of his intended ramble while Darcy was not far behind.

Spring was at the beginning of its glory in this part of the country. Tender green leaves began to sprout while buds and blossoms were plenty in display. Crocuses, tulips, daffodils, hyacinths and many others were in abundance. A lover of nature, Elyse was so elated that she thought she must be in the Garden of Eden. She had never seen lovelier grounds.

Geoffrey was very knowledgeable of Pemberley and he showed Elyse many of his favorite spots. Darcy was quite amused by Geoffrey's enthusiasm. Occasionally, he also pointed out a few of his favorites.

Although the visit only lasted for two days, Elyse enjoyed this extra diversion very much. One late afternoon, she was even persuaded to stay atop a horse and trotted around the magnificent estate. This visit also allowed her to get to know Darcy a little better, and her respect for him increased as she observed how he conducted himself as the master of Pemberley.

"Home at last," Elyse said to herself as she packed for tomorrow's departure. She could hear the drenching rain outside her bedroom windows. The rain, which began as a typical spring shower earlier that evening, was becoming heavier as the night progressed. She had thoroughly enjoyed her visits, nonetheless, she looked forwards to returning home and spending more time with Aaron and Aster again.

She was just about done when Geoffrey came in pleading for a bedtime story. Ever since they met at Ackerley last winter, this had become a ritual whenever the circumstance arose. More like a conversation, the story would begin with Geoffrey asking some questions and Elyse answering them. In this way, it was never the same and only their imaginations could limit its plot.

This particular evening, Geoffrey's thoughts must have turned to his mother. He described her as a kind, lovely woman with blonde hair and dark blue eyes. When he reached the part where she died of a car accident, his voice faltered.

"Why did she have to die when I was so little?" he said with a choked voice.

"There are many things we have no control of, and I think she wished so very much to be with you too," she tried to console him.

"Would she remember me? Would she miss me?" His voice was trembling, with tears brimming in his eyes.

"A mother's love never dies," she answered. While stroking his hair, she looked into his eyes and continued as gently as she could, "and in times of trouble when you're most alone, the memory of her love will see you through. * Besides, your family, especially your father, loves you dearly. You must always remember that."

Unbeknownst to either of them, Darcy entered the room; he was about to tug Geoffrey in for the night.

Geoffrey had always held a special place in his heart, and without children of his own, Darcy considered him as his own son. He and Alex had been worrying about the little boy, who always seemed to appear sunny on the outside, but never once spoke about his mother since her death three years ago.

Darcy only knew too well that it was difficult for Geoffrey to talk about it because the bond between the mother and son was a tight one. He, too, had lost his mother at an early age, and it had taken him a long time and only with the help of his excellent father before he could channel his grief more properly. And when his father died a few years ago, he had to go through a similar healing process, except he was on his own then. One could never recover completely from this kind of loss.

Hence, Darcy was dumbfounded to see the youngster opening up his deepest wound to a woman he barely knew. But, when the sobs subsided, and when he saw the peaceful look on the angelic face, he knew that this woman had done something that neither he nor Alex was yet able to do.

Seeing that Geoffrey had begun drifting off to sleep, quietly Darcy made his presence known. It had been such an emotional feat that Elyse welcomed his interruption. While neither one of them spoke, the little boy was again carried off to his own room.

Emotionally exhausted, Elyse's thoughts involuntarily turned to those who were dear to her. Will Aster wonder about and be troubled by her father's abandonment? Will she cry herself to sleep while clinging onto a stranger? How about Aaron? He seems understanding enough, but does he have a wound that he let buried, and will he let it torment himself so?

Forlornly, she looked into the rainy darkness outside as she contemplated the well-being of her loved ones, while her own sorrow -- self doubt, failure as a wife, Glen's betrayal, and the monumental challenge as a single parent -- added to the overflowing heap. How she wished to free of these miseries and be a mistress of her own fate! Unknowingly, tears began to stream down her cheeks.

Darcy returned to Elyse's room and was about to offer his gratitude for what she had done for Geoffrey when the sight across the room choked the air out of his lungs. Never before had he seen her in such a state! He had seen her out of sort, he had seen her melancholy, but he had never seen her cried! He did not know whether the recent placidity effort had affected her so, or some other trouble, but whatever it was, he could not stand seeing her this way. With agitation, he walked briskly towards her. His progress came to a halt when he saw her face to face -- the sight of her up close was even more devastating. Alarmed and overcome by a violent passion, he reached out and grasped her arms.

"Good Heavens! What's the matter? Did Geoffrey upset you so?' He looked down earnestly, trying to search for the answer in her eyes.

Deep in sorrow, Elyse was not fit for confrontation. She tried to reply calmly, but while attempting to control the floodgate of tears, she found herself unable to speak. This only exasperated Darcy's agitated state. He freed one of his hands from her and lifted her chin so that his line of vision now aligned with hers. This time, he repeated his silent inquiry with penetrating eyes.

This persistent intrusion only added to her miseries. She tried to free from his grasp but found that she could not. Finally, completely broken down, she cried, "Please leave me alone!"

A thousand emotions boiled inside him as he watched her in silence and helplessness, for he wanted to do something but he knew not what. After a few seconds, he could contain himself any more. He closed the distance between her and caught her in a firm embrace, while completely shaken, he kissed her trembling lips recklessly.

The astonishment from this unforeseen development was instantly felt by both, but neither one could break away after the initial touch. All Darcy had wanted to do was to comfort her, but he was now doing it in a way that he had never thought proper. As he continued to hold her, he knew that he was completely done for -- there was no turning back now. How often had he tried to banish forbidden thoughts such as these?

Elyse's astonishment was beyond words, for she had never dreamt of engaging in such an activity with anyone other than Glen. Confusion and dizziness whirled around her while Darcy's burning lips continued to stay on hers and his trembling and inflaming body pressing against her.

When she finally regained enough of her senses, her immediate reflex was to turn away from such an advance, but she found herself locked inside a pair of steel arms, the same pair that led her down the library desk the first time they met. It seemed so long ago now and so much had changed. But reality remained, he had no right to do what he was doing. What does he think he's doing, and why is he doing it? With all her might, she gave him a desperate push. When they finally parted, neither could speak; they just stared at each other, each trying to calm their emotions and ragged breaths.

Now that some distance had returned between them, Darcy began to feel the mortification of his action. What have I done? How could I have done that, when I've prided myself being honorable and master of my emotions? In a trembling voice, he forced himself to speak.

"Pardon me! I... I... didn't mean to. Please... Please forgive me!"

Elyse saw the remorse vividly in his eyes and on his face. Upon reflection, she felt that perhaps she should have been more guarded as well. She concluded that perhaps this was one of those weak moments that people unknowingly succumbed to. Unbidden, Glen's betrayal emerged and that nauseated her so much that in an instance, she collected herself and responded.

"I believe both of us had our share of the blame, but I trust that this will never happen again." Glancing at the direction of the door, she continued, "I've a long journey tomorrow, so I bid you good night!"

He took the hint and was just as relieved as he bade his good night.

Once in the solitude of his room, he began to reflect what had just transpired moments ago next door. He had only wanted to comfort her and to relieve her sorrow, if only given the chance. He brought his hand to his lips, trying to relive that moment, which he knew, would be the last. The all-too-familiar heartache returned as he thought about his future, a future forever without her.

Two days after Elyse left Pemberley, the Edwards and Charlotte came visit for a few days. They then returned to the States leaving only Darcy and Clarke behind. In the middle of March, Clarke returned to Ackerley while Darcy stayed for the rest of month.

During this time, Darcy did some soul-searching and reflection. On the practical side, his professional life continued to flourish. His company was so successful that perhaps some expansion would be desirable. He had thought about it, but at the end, thought against it. He did not need more businesses, and his main goals had always been having a fulfilling profession, which he believed he had fundamentally achieved. He had several discussions with his business partner who also shared the same view. At the same time, he had managed and invested his family assets wisely over the year. Cumulatively speaking, he believed he had met and exceeded his family's expectation, hence, there was nothing lacking in this regard.

He turned his thoughts to a more personal nature. His person and status had devoid him the need to be the pursuer, never lacking the opportunities of female companions. With high expectation from his family and high demand from himself, however, he had chosen to focus on his studies, and quite frankly, at times, he found that far more rewarding than anything else. He was reserved, no double, but he was, by no means, a loner. Nevertheless, being fastidious, meticulous, and quite immune to the female lures early on, he had never come upon anyone whom he could feel anything substantial. Later, with the demanding medical school and residency training, he was glad that he could concentrate on the rigorous curriculum without being distracted from emotional obligation. Soon after, his energy was solely directed at his business and related endeavors.

Since his heart was yet to be touched, he had accepted the fact that perhaps 'the one' may not exist after all. He had little regret on that probability because he felt that his life had been quite fulfilling otherwise. He was blessed with loving parents and relatives. As the heir of a reputable family, wealth and status was always in abundance. He studied what he liked, and established the company that engaged in the business that he found meaningful to himself and benevolent to the others. Having diverse interests and enthusiastic in volunteer work, he never lacked meaningful things to do.

In all measures, he could be seen as the epitome of all things and never felt anything lacking. He had every right to be proud of his achievements. Yet, despite of what his exterior may convey, he was never conceited or spoiled by his good fortunes. Deep inside, he was humble and grateful for what he had accomplished and possessed.

Nevertheless, since he knew not when, a foreign sense of incompleteness began to envelop him. He knew not what to do, all he knew was that he was getting deeper and deeper into this foreign sense of helplessness and despair whenever his thought turned to her.

Alone in his bedchamber, he looked at the picture from Richard's engagement resting on the night stand. He had inserted it into the picture frame that she had given him over the holiday. He picked it up and let his fingers traced around its border. The pewter frame, simple yet elegant, filled with unostentatious yet smothering luster -- just like her.

He scanned the picture for the one face that was so dear to him. Charlotte asked her to join in at the last moment for that snapshot. There she was, standing between Alex and him, with her hands resting lightly on Geoffrey's shoulders, wearing the all too familiar expression on her eyes and face. As he held the picture, he traced her outline with his trembling fingers. He closed his eye slowly as an old familiar song flooded his mind:

What'll I do
When you are far away and I am blue
What'll I do

What'll I do
When I am wondering who is kissing you
What'll I do

What'll I do with
Just a photograph
To tell my troubles to

When I'm alone
With only dreams of you that won't come true
What'll I do **

* Random excerpt - Perhaps Love (John Denver)

** What'll I Do (Irving Berlin)

Chapter 11: An Interlude

Author's Notes: "Well has it been said that there is no grief like the grief which does not speak." - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
Dear friends, in this time of distress, no words can describe the sadness I feel inside. On this National Day of Prayer and Remembrance, let's continue with our prayers for all those in need...

While on her way to Ackerley one evening after school, Elyse thought about the remainder of the spring recess. After returning from Europe, she spent the rest of her time with Aaron and Aster. It worked out well as it coincided with their schools' breaks. What was more, they were blessed daily with the promise of a glorious spring day that lasted from morning till dawn. Since they all enjoyed the outdoors and exhibitions, they took several day trips to the botanical gardens, museums, and attended a few concerts.

Glen went along on the hiking trip. The excitement on Aaron and Aster's faces more than compensated for Elyse's awkwardness around him. As they picnicked under the splendid March sky, she sighed inwardly, knowing that family outing such as this would be a thing of the past. A few tears threatened to escape at that realization. She wondered if he would miss it as much as they would.

Would he? He had begun a new life with another, free of all obligations save for those legal provisions. She knew she meant nothing to him. Yet, she wondered if Aaron and Aster still had a place in his heart. He certainly seemed eager to embrace his new life and future.

Glen returned home with them. After Aaron and Aster had gone to sleep, Elyse found him still lingering when she came downstairs. Instinctively, she knew he had something to say, so she waited.

"I understand if you won't ever forgive me," he finally broke the silence. After pausing for a few seconds, he continued, "But as you see, I've tried to make it up by giving you the house and agreeing to whatever reasonable child support you need."

Does he know that these provisions will never possibly mend three broken hearts?

"Yes, it's very generous of you, but, you must know that in my heart, how I've wished that this was never so." She looked away.

"I'm sorry, Elyse," he approached her. "Believe me, I did love you."

"Then, where and how have I failed, Glen?" she demanded. "What had gone wrong?"

"No, if it'd make you feel any better, I'm to blame for the change in heart." Looking at her, he continued, "Life was so simple then, you were content just being with me. But now, with all the changes, we aren't happy together anymore."

"Oh, Glen! You're the only one I've cared for and depended on all these years. What'll I do without you there with us?" she began to sob.

He reached out, trying to console her, but she instinctively moved away. The thought of him with another woman still disturbed her greatly.

"No! Don't touch me, not... not after what you've done!" she cried.

He put his hands down and moved away, but he stayed there watching her in silence until he thought she had somewhat calmed down before taking his leave.

"Good bye, Elyse, you take care of yourself. Call me if you need anything."

She looked at the man who once meant the world to her, whom her life used to revolve around -- regardless of how insipid it may have seemed. But now, that world had shattered, with nothing remaining but pain, sorrow, and uncertainty.

With mixed emotions but with determination, she said, "Good bye, Glen," as she slowly closed the door behind him.

Elyse's train of thought continued when she reached Ackerley. She supposed she should now turn a new leaf in her life. But, why did she still have such heaviness in her heart? The enormity of the life ahead weighed on her being so much, physically and mentally, that for what seemed like a thousandth times, she asked herself, "How could I go on? Where could I find the strength and courage?"

She urgently needed to think about the future. However, the concoction of negative emotions raged within her was far from conducive for any rational thought. Very reluctantly, she forced herself to focus on something more tangible, such as her study, until some sense of equanimity returned. After the semester was over, there would be enough time to contemplate her options and plans.

While Darcy stayed behind Pemberley, Clarke returned to Ackerley and resumed his usual duties around the house. This evening, he was about to turn off the teakettle when he heard footsteps approaching this way.

"Good evening, Clarke," Elyse entered the kitchen and smiled up at him. "I was getting a little tired from studying for tomorrow's test, so I thought I need some diversion."

"Excellent timing," Clarke smiled warmly at her. "The hot water is ready, and there's the chocolate mousse cake I've made this afternoon, a new recipe, see if you like it."

While Clarke went to get the cake, Elyse set the table. Soon, they enjoyed each other's company, watching the glorious sunset through the long windows from the cozy dining area.

"This is delicious, chocolate mousse is my favorite," she commented, after the first bite. "You've outdone yourself again, Clarke! Not to mention spoiling me."

"I'm glad you like it," he smiled. "It's good to have someone to share it with.' Pointing at the counter, he continued, "I've made another one, take it home to your family."

She was deeply moved by the kind housekeeper's sentiment, and the feeling was mutual. And this, she would miss in a few months. Unconsciously, a small sigh escaped her. Clarke's eyebrows raised in question upon hearing it. He had learned to discern her quite well over these few months. Elyse, too, had learned to understand his expressions and gestures. She had observed that, as a duty, he used the polite yet unaffected facet most of the time; but with his master and immediate family members, he let more of his true self shown.

"My stay here has been so wonderful that I'll miss this place dearly when I'm gone," she confessed.

"What are your plans for the fall?" he ventured. "Have you thought about staying here again perhaps? I tend to think that the master won't mind."

"Oh, Clarke," she said with feelings, "you've been too kind, and I think I've intruded on the household for much too long already. Besides, my family needs me."

"Can't they spare you again?" he suggested. "They're used to the routine now, aren't they?"

To tell the truth, the living arrangement had worked out real well for her original purpose. However, what was she supposed to say about the situation with Glen, a situation that would preclude her living in Ackerley forever?

"Yes, they're used to it, but my family has been sort of fragmented," she replied. If he only knew how fragmented it has become! "My family needs me, and I must think of them first."

Clarke nodded. He had to admit the wisdom of her words, and he admired her for putting her family above herself.

Soon after that disastrous encounter with Elyse, Darcy's emotions took a drastic turn. As the reality of the situation finally dawned on him, he forced himself to re-accept his previous resolve, regardless of how he felt. With that, he came to the rational and more sensible conclusion that instead of pining away and feeling agitated, he would channel his feelings in a more constructive way.

Under thought and reflection, his innate, noble character took over. Knowing that his desire and love was in vain, he would try, in his power, to make her life better. Yes, he decided, he would find out if there were anything troubling her, and if so, saw to it that it was eased. And, if by chance, her life improved and she become happier, so would he.

With his consciences thoroughly awakened, he looked upon his life with renewed energy, feeling much better than ever in all these months. In fact, he was so elated and eager to apply these new plans that he could not stay away. He shortened his usual Pemberley visit by a week and returned to Ackerley.

Darcy found Elyse hidden behind their favorite rock again, except, unlike the other time, her mind did not seem to be on the books in front of her. She looked away into the distance, and from where he stood, he could not see the expressions in her eyes. Unknowingly, and as if drawn by a magnet, he approached her.

"Good day, I hope everything is well?" he said gently.

Elyse was startled out of her reverie, both by the sudden address and the person himself, whom she did not expect to see for another week yet. Instantly, she threw her eyes at him. She was not in the best state of mind, as her burden continued to intrude. Remembering how she reacted the last time they met in this same spot, however, she reminded herself not to act on her emotions. Hence, she decided to go light on the conversation, hoping to rally her own spirit a little in the process.

"Oh! All's well, thanks for asking." Smiling, she teased him, "You never fail to surprise us with your sudden return. How shocked was Clarke this time, hmmm?

By now, Darcy had taken a seat beside her. Her turn of conversation did not go unnoticed by him, so he followed her lead and replied in a like manner.

"I did call him before I left Pemberley, so he was well prepared this time. Sorry to disappoint you," he grinned. Pointing to the opened books, he added, "I hope I'm not intruding?"

"Not at all, just trying to force myself to concentrate on Behavior Management." She motioned at the offended objects on the grass. She was surprised at his casualness, but welcomed it, nonetheless.

Behavior Management? That reminded him of his unguarded behavior on that fateful night.

"Speaking of behavior," he colored as he spoke. After taking a deep breath, he continued, "I must again apologize for my behavior that night, which was totally inappropriate. I assure you that it's not something I normally do. Please forgive me."

As she listened, memory of that night returned, causing a deep blush over her face. After a few seconds, she replied.

"Indeed! I was quite shocked by your behavior!" Again, she tried to brush it off as lightly as she could, "Say no more of it. At that moment, seeing Geoffrey's distress reminded my concerns for my children, that was all."

Once that was laid out in the open, both were relieved.

To Elyse, other than the initial shock, she really did not dwell on it too much after the incidence. Since he had always seemed so guarded and proper, she sensed that he was indeed very much mortified -- mortified at the thought that he may have been perceived to show an interest to a woman with nothing to recommend her, let alone a married one. Besides, she had never considered the remotest probability that he could be attracted to her, especially when Glen, a man with far less consequence, left her for another woman whom, obviously, he had found much more desirable.

To Darcy, he had to remind himself of the reality that no such encounter would ever occur again. In his heart, there was still lingering regret. However, his noble nature and his concern of her had taken over for the better. For now, it would be more important to know what troubled her, and to see what he could do to alleviate her burden.

"What are your concerns? I'd very much like to hear them."

She looked at him intently for a few seconds, trying to gage his sincerity. Seeing that he seemed earnest, she proceeded. In some way, she was glad to have a chance to air some of her troubles, even if merely talking about it.

"My foremost concern is Aster. She has many challenges that will likely to continue for many years to come. I've done my best in getting her the most appropriate educational placement, with the hope that her potential could be maximized. But my biggest fear is that I may not be doing enough. Perhaps, there are better options for her that I am unaware of."

He proceeded to ask her more details about Aster's condition, which she replied as much as she could.

"Then there's Aaron. He is wonderful in many ways, I'm truly blessed with a son like him," she beamed. "He aspires to become a physician, and I think that he is capable. Although there are still many years before he attends college, coming up with the expenses seems like such a daunting task."

They continued this way until darkness came, when they returned to the house and bade each other good night.

Darcy was glad that Elyse was willing to share her thoughts with him. Her presence continued to captivate him, and he had to admit that, if in any way possible, he dearly loved to be part of her life... He just realized that he had allowed this fantasy to creep in again; he caught himself just in time and gave himself a determined shake.

Elyse was surprised at Darcy's openness and the attentions he bestowed; this was so unlike the aloof and unaffected man she thought she knew. While he continued to mesmerize her, she was surprised that she felt comfortable in talking to him so openly.

"Darcy!" Claudia Hamlin caught Darcy in a firm embrace as soon as she stepped into his office one day at work. "It's been ages, how are you?"

She was a stunning woman in her early thirties. Tall and slender, her honey blonde hair was tied up loosely in a ponytail with a clip. She dark green eyes and full lips set on her classical profile.

"Claudia! What brought you here in this part of the country?" Totally surprised, Darcy asked as he stepped away from her.

They knew each other back in the university. It seemed to be mutual attraction at the beginning. Born to an effluent family, Claudia possessed all the 'right' qualities that anyone in Darcy's standing would have approved. Given his status and person, Darcy had more than enough female companions throughout the years, but only a few had ever interested him, and ever less with whom he desired to get further acquainted with.

They had since drifted apart and had not seen each other for many years. One reason, among others, was the difference in their field of study and career goal. While she had eventually become a psychologist, he had shifted his focus, forming his own company. However, the friendship they had established years ago still existed, mainly due to the mutual understanding of their relationship.

When they first met, Darcy thought that Claudia was very promising, and being a rational man, he had tried to justify his presumption. However, not far into their acquaintance, he realized that he could not deceive himself in trying to make his heart feel what it did not. He decided to end it then and there. He never had any regret, and he was relieved that they could still be friends.

The initial reaction for Claudia, however, was quite different. Similar to Darcy, she also had many choices, but she was totally devoted to him. Nevertheless, she had enough understanding and sense to accept it when Darcy decided to let go. She was crushed, but she also honored his decision. She was glad to be able to keep him as a friend. She had moved on with her life. Although she never lacked companionship, she was never married. Perhaps given that Darcy was not yet married, unknowingly, she still harbored some hope.

"It's the hospital's policy to rotate their physicians once in a while," she responded. "When my director told me that there's a temporary opening around here, I've decided to accept it to broaden my experience. Besides, it's good seeing you again!"

As it turned out, Claudia would be working in the same medical center that Alex was. She was delighted in this piece of news. She knew Alex through Darcy many years ago, and had not seen him ever since. She looked forwards to renewing the acquaintance.

Chapter 12: We Only Part to Meet Again

Just before Elyse went on Easter break, Darcy hosted a small dinner party. Alex, Geoffrey, Claudia, and Arthur Finley, Darcy's business partner, were among the attendees. Richard and Charlotte could not attend due to a last minute change in their schedule.

Arthur was a tall and elegant man in his early sixties. His hair, now silvery gray, was still quite full. His equally gray and piercing eyes hinted his domineering nature. Since the passing of his beloved wife several years ago, however, he had mellowed substantially. He was Darcy's mentor at the university. A noted expert in his field, his demands and expectations from his students and peers were extremely high. Darcy was one of the very few who had gained his good opinion. What made Darcy stand out among the rest was not only his obvious intelligence, but also his total devotion and dedication to his studies and profession; and most importantly, his willingness to speak the truth and advocate positions even when unpopular. It was not surprising that he was very fond of him. Almost a father figure, he had genuine concerns of his young friend. After the passing of Darcy's father, their attachment had further strengthened. In the company they co-founded, he acted mostly as the advisor behind the scene, delegating all the executive power to Darcy.

After the initial introduction, everyone got further acquainted and enjoyed the beautiful spring day outdoors. Alex and Claudia reacquainted with each other. In this phase of their lives, they found themselves having, at least professionally, more in common. They looked forward to working together in the same medical center.

Geoffrey was happy to see Elyse again, and it was not long before he monopolized her by insisting on a treasure hunt and ramble. When they returned more than an hour later, they brought back bouquets of spring flowers, fresh leaves and branches, which they used to brighten up the patio area.

Arthur was at one of the tables when Elyse approached. While she was arranging the bouquets, he talked to her casually about her study, family, and work. He was all curiosity when Darcy first mentioned about the living arrangement.

At first, Elyse did not know how to conduct herself, a little unnerved by his impressive presence. Suddenly, it occurred to her that his mannerism reminded her of Darcy's. Although Darcy was still a mystery to her, she believed she had mastered herself in his presence. Besides, in the elder gentleman's piercing eyes, she detected kindness. It was not long before she felt much more at ease. Still, she spoke only about work and children. She would not speak of Glen if she could avoid it.

"You work in the information technology sector?" Arthur asked.

"Yes, for many years," she replied with evident pride, "by starting out in a clerical position and gradually moving up the rank. Now, I work in the group that provides consultation on system infrastructure."

Because of his position, Arthur had dealt with many people in his life. Although born into a privileged class, to his credit, he had never shunned those who were beneath him. He had always admired those who seek to improve themselves, and especially those who choose to overcome adversities instead of giving into them. Before their initial acquaintance was over, the essence of her characters was captured in his mind. He was delighted at this discovery. Yes, he liked her very much indeed.

Soon, the rest of the party also joined in the conversation. Knowing that Claudia was a psychologist, Elyse talked to her about Aster and asked if there were any other treatments and therapies available. Claudia enjoyed her profession and often found it more rewarding when patients showed special interest. Therefore, she was more than happy to share her knowledge.

Alex was not surprised to see Arthur and Claudia treated Elyse warmly. He had come to know her quite well since they met at Ackerley last winter. Recently, when Darcy told him about how she managed to draw Geoffrey out of his shell, his good opinion of her was irrevocably, firmly settled. While he was thus musing, he realized that he had yet to thank her. He walked towards her and led her a little away from the rest.

"Elyse, Darcy told me all about Geoffrey that night at Pemberley," he began, "Please allow me to express my gratitude, as I can't thank you enough for what you've done. For the first time in three years, Geoffrey was able to talk about Holly openly with me."

"Oh! You must know that it was most unintentionally done," she was very much affected by his expression. "I'm glad that it worked out for the best. Please, really, there's no need to thank me, and no more needs to be said."

Without saying another word, Alex was so moved that he expressed his thanks again, while giving her hands a few heartfelt squeezes. This exchange did not escape Darcy's notice, and for some inexplicable reason, he had a strong urge to unhinge his cousin's hands. As he did not trust himself, he forced himself to look the other way.

Dinner was buffet style at the patio outdoors. When plans for the months ahead were discussed, it came to the part where Elyse revealed her upcoming departure. Geoffrey was the first to react.

"Just a few more weeks? Why do you have to leave?" his lips began to quiver. He then turned to Darcy pleadingly, "Darcy, can't you let Elyse stay? Your house is big enough!"

Elyse was very much affected. Knowing that she had made some friends during these past months meant a lot to her, especially at the midst of her family disaster. Looking at the youngster, she felt that the absolute truth was needed now.

"Dear Geoffrey, Darcy has nothing to do with this, and he has been very kind to me." She bent down so that she was now at his level. Holding his hands, she continued gently, "I'm afraid I must return to my family, for I've been away too long already. I've missed them and so have they."

"You're leaving me, just when I thought we are friends." Geoffrey was controlling the tears that were about to fall. It was heartbreaking to behold.

Elyse watched with compassion, and before anyone could react, she tried again to console him.

"We'll always be friends, if you so choose," she stroked his arms. "We can reach other in so many ways now -- phone, e-mail, even good old-fashioned letters will do." Before Geoffrey could respond, she stood up without letting go of his hands and continued, "Let's resume our treasure hunt, by the way, where were we?"

This seemed to divert his attention a little, as he nodded and led Elyse off the direction of the babbling brook.

While watching their retreating figures, Darcy tried hard to allow the idea sank in, for his reaction was not unlike that of Geoffrey's.

Just a few more weeks?

It was an eventuality he had tried to avoid acknowledging.

How do I go through life without her?

Since he had first whispered those words to himself deep in the night at his ancient home last November, he had repeated them a million times after. There were times when she was gone for days, even weeks. However, knowing that she would return had always given him hope, and, as soon as he saw her face after an absence, he managed to feel right again.

But, this time's for real, there won't be a tomorrow once she's gone!

He lamented silently. For what seemed like an eternity, he could not think, breathe, nor speak. He felt chill creeping up his body, numbing his senses. Only the devastation in his eyes gave away the true feelings deep inside him. However, he reminded himself that his secret must be forever locked and the key thrown away. For now, he must command himself to act appropriately, and it was not long before he did just that.

"Geoffrey will be fine, I'm sure," he said with perfect composure, "once he gets around to it." He then directed the conversation to other topics.

School seemed to pass much more rapidly after the Easter break. More lessons, homework, researches, and projects began to pile up. Elyse tried to work on hers as diligently as possible. While at home, she also helped with the similar demands from Aaron and Aster's schools. On weekends, she was usually at the libraries with them. In a way, it was good that this left her, Aaron, and Aster with little time to think of anything else. Gradually and unknowingly, they began to adjust to the idea of the divorce.

Glen continued to get involved with Aaron and Aster's activities whenever he could. They were happy to see him. As the days went on, they felt more secure that their father still loved and cared for them, regardless of the family upheaval, or how their parents may feel about each other.

The occupants at Ackerley began to adjust to the idea of Elyse's leaving, too. Clarke was very much affected because he had becoming very attached to her, and he hoped that they would stay in touch.

Darcy tried not to think about Elyse's inevitable departure. Instead, he focused his energy more constructively. On his own, he researched on the therapeutic and educational programs in the area to see if there were better ones available for Aster. He also consulted Claudia as she was more closely related to the field. Claudia was only too happy to help. Based on their individual researches, it appeared that Elyse had done her research well because the program that Aster was enrolled in seemed to be the most appropriate one. All things considered, however, they felt that Aster could benefit from additional private therapies. Thinking that Elyse may not be able to afford the additional expenses, he contacted some of his colleagues and found that several universities in the area provided free therapies as part of their ongoing medical researches. He thought that Aster could be a good candidate for these programs.

Once he had this information gathered, he presented it to Elyse. She was overwhelmed by his generosity and good intention. She did not doubt his sincerity when he listened to her concerns the other day, but she never expected that he would actually act upon them.

"I don't know what to say," she began after he was finished. "That's very kind of you to go through all these troubles. I know how busy you are."

"There is nothing I wouldn't do for you if you'd only let me!" thought Darcy to himself. Feeling that he really did not deserve such gratitude, he said, "There's no need to thank me, Claudia helped me on the researches, too. It really did not take us too much time. We're glad to help."

As Darcy spoke, Claudia image came to Elyse's mind. At the dinner party, she had noticed the special way Claudia and Darcy interacted with each other. Later, her impression was confirmed when Alex told her briefly about their past. Judging from all worldly measures, they seemed perfect for each other; and when her thoughts turned to her failed marriage, she sincerely wished all the best for those who were lucky enough to find each other. She gathered her thoughts and thanked him, with the promise to follow up with the programs he recommended.

Alex and Geoffrey came visit just a week before Elyse's departure. They would miss her dearly and insisted that they would keep in touch. Alex also did some research on corrective eye surgery.

"I know of two research projects in the university medical center I dealt with in the past that may interest you," he began. "They have the latest technology and procedure. Periodically, they provide subsidized operation to qualified patients. Although these are research programs, they are quite safe so you need not worry."

"Alex! This is totally unexpected! You really don't have to," Elyse exclaimed, this was a pleasant surprise indeed.

"The only condition is, Aster is still a little too young for this kind of procedure. I'd say wait a few more years before she goes through it," he looked at her and smiled. "Besides, this will give us a good excuse to keep in touch!"

Elyse burst out laughing, this was too much. Alex was such a dear friend. At this point, Geoffrey chimed in.

"Elyse, I'll never talk to you ever again if you don't come see me!" he pouted.

After Elyse diverted Geoffrey's attention to the brook the other day, she was able to calm him down to the point that he was not too upset about her leaving, providing they would keep in touch. Looking at the father and son before her, she was speechless with gratitude. Somehow, knowing that there were still such kind people in the world gave her hope, and that hope would fuel the courage, which she knew would come handy in the difficult days ahead.

What Alex had just related unsettled Darcy greatly. He was not surprised at Alex's eagerness to help, but he could not decide how he should feel knowing that Elyse may still be within reach after she left Ackerley. On one hand, he looked forwards to that possibility, but on the other hand, he questioned his vulnerability in her presence. Since the last dinner party, he had successfully convinced himself that her leaving would be a blessing, allowing him to sever his infatuation of her forever.

What better remedy than that?

Once she was out of his sight, surely the yearning in his heart would come to an end once and for all. Now with Alex and Geoffrey, their paths may cross again.

We only part to meet again*?

He sighed, his head began to throb, and he needed a diversion to summon his raging emotions to order. After excusing himself, he walked towards the library. After a few turns in the room, he concluded that although there was little he could do about Alex's plans, he could control his participation -- he could choose not to attend any gatherings that she might be present. Having successfully convinced himself and mastered his emotions again, he rejoined his guests.

Another semester came to an end, Elyse had done as well as she had expected. Her last day at Ackerley was a little solemn, but overall, it was just as uneventful as when she first arrived last September.

After the last class ended, she drove back to Ackerley and began to pack her minimal belongings. Once that was done, she stood in the room surveying it appreciatively like the first time she set foot in it. So much had changed in these eight months. She had accomplished what she had originally set out for. Yet, when she thought that she should feel jubilated, she felt a great sense of loss instead.

Is this the price I have to pay for my marriage? Will it make any difference if I were more contented with my life? Am I being too selfish, thinking only of myself while causing unnecessary grief to those I care for the most in the world?

Helpless in finding the answers to these questions, she tried to console herself with the thought that she had at least gained a few friends in the process. While on one hand, she was gratified that some of them welcomed her continued friendship, but on the other hand, she could not help wondering if it would really turn out that way, given the disparity in their social classes. Charlotte would be the only common thread between them. Even that, once Charlotte was married into the family, would the two of them remain good friends? She sighed, rubbing her temples, admonishing herself for thinking too much again. Perhaps it was about time to follow the great poet's excellent example by taking a simpler outlook:

When it was time for her to go, Elyse began her farewell with the master of the house.

"Thank you for your hospitality and kindness," she said it with feelings. "I truly appreciate it. You must know that my study would have been quite impossible without your help and generosity."

Darcy had been steeling himself for this moment, therefore, with his usual perfect composure, he replied.

"You're quite welcome, I hope your stay was not totally unpleasant, and I wish you the best of luck in your study."

For some reason, Elyse decided to lighten up at that moment. With the slightest hint of smile, she looked at him archly and responded.

"Not totally unpleasant indeed, if I might say!" Then, in a more serious note, she concluded, "Take care, and thanks again for everything."

While watching her speaking in that provoking manner, Darcy felt his well-orchestrated composure began to crumple, and involuntarily, he held his breath. After he reciprocated his adieu, with darkening eyes, he looked away.

"Elyse," it was Clarke's turn to bide farewell, "I hope that you'll visit us sometimes." His voice muffled a little as he progressed. Then pointing to her belongings, he continued, "Let me help you with these."

After giving Darcy a curious glance, Elyse turned away and left Ackerley.

* Sweet William's Farewell to Black-ey'd Susan: A Ballad (John Gay)

** Robert Frost