Beginning, Previous Section, Section XXVVII, Next Section
Posted on Monday, 22 December 2003
The rehearsal supper was held at Niemerg’s. Mary had asked Darcy where a good place to eat would be. Darcy told her that Niemerg’s had good food and great service, and also mentioned that it was where he’d taken Elisabeth for their first date. That information made Mary’s decision an easy one and one she refused to back down from in spite of all the objections Ruth made about the place. Mary and Thomas were paying for the supper, so they got to choose where to have it.
If Ruth suspected Darcy or Elisabeth of planting the idea of going to Niemerg’s in Mary’s mind, she said nothing. Every time the rehearsal supper was mentioned, however, she gave a loud, exaggerated sigh and resigned herself to being the martyr for her future son-in-law’s sake. By the time the party arrived at the restaurant, Ruth’s objections were pretty much being ignored by the rest. They’d all had about enough of her theatrics, and the popular suggestion was made to slip a couple of sleeping pills into something she ate.
To everyone’s surprise, however, Ruth seemed to calm down by the time they entered the restaurant. Whether it was because she had worn herself out during the day or whether someone had been devious enough to go through with the suggestion to give her a sleeping pill, no one knew. All that mattered was that Ruth said little as they were seated in the restaurant's back room, which had been reserved for them.
Sitting at a table at the head of the room, with Elisabeth on his right side and D.J. on his left, Darcy found that he wasn’t very hungry and was content to spend his time looking around the room at his friends and family.
His family. Strange how that sounded, even now that he’d had time to get used to it. Yet here they were, people who loved him and who would be there for him in a moment’s notice. More people than he could count. A year ago, he’d felt as though he were alone in the world. The only people he could confide in were Ginger and his therapist, and even in those relationships he hadn’t felt a true sense of being connected to the world as he did now. His therapist had been well-paid to try to straighten out his neuroses and while Ginger loved him dearly, she hadn’t trusted him enough to confide in him. Maybe if she had, things would’ve been different for her.
But there was no point in trying to relive the past. What was done was done, and besides, his life now was so much better that reliving the past or wishing things could be different was pointless. Whereas he’d had almost no one a year before, now he had his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and most of all, he had Elisabeth. He turned slightly so he could look at her. She was talking to Jenna, who was sitting on her right, and occasionally taking a bite of the Manhattan she’d ordered. He looked down at his own barely touched plate with a smile. He’d ordered the same meal he’d had on their first date as well----bacon cheeseburger with fries and a soda.
Darcy took a drink of the watered-down soda, grimaced slightly, and resumed looking around the room at everyone. His eyes were abruptly caught by those of his grandmother, who looked to be in the midst of doing the same thing he was. Mary’s bittersweet smile made him wonder if he should join her, but in the end his curiosity got the better of him. Thomas was on the other side of the room, talking to Mel Atchison, so she was alone. He excused himself from his table and walked over to hers.
“What were you thinking about?” Darcy asked as he took Thomas’s seat.
Mary blinked twice before answering. “Oh, nothing and everything at the same time,” she said with a laugh. “I was thinking about your father, and what he’d think of all this.”
Darcy was caught slightly off-guard by the mention of his father. Although he’d been telling himself that reflecting and reliving the past did no good, he admitted to himself that a portion of his thoughts tonight had centered around his parents. “I sometimes wonder what he and Mom would’ve thought about Elisabeth and Grace. What they would think if they could see me now. If they’d be proud of what I’ve done with my life or whether they would be disappointed because of all the time I wasted with Catherine.”
“I wouldn’t say you wasted your time with Catherine,” Mary said. “Catherine taught you life lessons whether she intended to or not. And if you had not spent seventeen years with Catherine, you might not be here today with Elisabeth.”
“Yes, but would Dad have been proud of me, of what I’ve become? Would he have thought I should’ve broken free of Catherine long ago, as Mom broke free of her family to marry him? She was younger than I was.”
“Younger, yes, but the two of you spent the same amount of time as part of the Darcy family. She was eighteen when she ran away with your father. You had spent seventeen years in Catherine’s company before you had finally had enough.” Mary took his right hand in both of hers. “Ron would be very proud of you, Dare, because you’re his son and he loved you. As for how he would feel about Elisabeth and Grace, I don’t think it would matter. If you had accepted Elisabeth, baggage and all, then he would’ve accepted her. After all, he would’ve known what it was like to be in your shoes.”
“Mom wasn’t pregnant when she met Dad.”
“I didn’t mean that. I meant fearing that your parents wouldn’t approve of your situation. The first time he brought Amelia to meet us, he was so nervous that he could barely get her name out. Your father thought her name was Emily and called her that for fifteen minutes before Ron could get his head out of the clouds enough to correct him.” Mary smiled and squeezed his hand. “You’re not worrying too much about this, are you?”
“No, not really,” Darcy said with a shake of his head. “I just wonder, you know. Like you have. What conclusion did you draw, by the way?”
Mary let go of his hands and looked around the room. “He would’ve liked Elisabeth because she makes you happy. He would’ve liked her for more than that, but that would’ve been the main reason. As for Grace, he would’ve been thrilled to pieces. He was crazy about children, and he always wished...”
“Wished what?”
Mary sighed. “He wished he could’ve had more than two. You were probably too young to remember, but Amelia miscarried two babies between you and Ginger. The doctor told her she shouldn’t try again after the second miscarriage, but she was determined to have a little girl.”
Darcy smiled. “I guess she showed the doctors, didn’t she? Mom had another baby and lived to tell the tale.”
“She almost didn’t. Ginger was born two weeks late and the birth nearly killed Amelia, but you’re right, she did survive. Those first few days, though, were the scariest of my life. Ron nearly fell apart, fearing that she was going to die. He could barely stand to look at Ginger until it was clear that Amelia was going to make it.”
Darcy frowned, thinking of how much his father had loved Ginger. Surely Mary had to be mistaken. “Why was that?”
Mary looked at him with understanding and pity in her eyes. “Because as irrational as it sounds, he felt Ginger was to blame for what had happened. He ignored the fact that neither he nor Amelia had listened to the doctor. All he could see was that Amelia was close to death, and it was because of Ginger.” Mary took his hand in hers again. “Darcy, Ron was a wonderful man. He was a terrific son and a good father and husband. But he wasn’t perfect, and I don’t want you thinking he was.”
“I don’t think my father was perfect,” Darcy said, although he knew in his heart that he was lying.
And Mary knew it, too. “He had his foibles and faults. Your mother used to tell me that she would get frustrated trying to argue with him because Ron had a habit of assuming what he thought was right. He was irrational and stubborn as anyone else.” Mary looked down at her hands. “It’s easy for me to focus on all the good things about him, because he’s gone. It’s easy for me to fall into the trap of telling you only the good things, because there’s a part of me that wants to preserve him in your memory as being a wonderful father. But the reality is...well, he was human. And so was your mother. Adjusting to life with your father wasn’t as simple as you might think. She was used to the finest things in life, and marrying a poor college student was a step down in the world for her.”
Darcy thought back to his first few weeks in Effingham and how hard it had been to adjust to a different sort of life. “I think I have a good idea of what it was like,” he said.
Mary smiled. “Yes, I guess you would, now that I think about it. You went through it twice, once after your parents died and then when Catherine sent you here.”
“But she did adjust, right? I mean, she never truly regretted what she’d thrown away?”
“If she did, she never said anything. As happy as she was with your father, I don’t think she ever did.” Mary looked over to the head table, causing Darcy to look over himself to see what she saw. Elisabeth was talking with Ruth and Thomas, and looking a little worried about something. Ruth’s being nearby gave him no doubt as to what had Elisabeth worried.
He turned his attention back to Mary. “It’s good to hear that,” Darcy said. “It’s not that I’m having second thoughts about Elisabeth or anything, but...it’s sometimes hard to believe that I’ve only known her a year. Less than a year, really, but we’re getting married tomorrow. When I think about how fast everything has happened, it scares me a little.”
“With a future mother-in-law like Ruth Atchison, I’d be scared, too,” Mary said. “Seriously, though, I don’t think you’ll differ much from your mother. Something tells me that in spite of how rushed everything seems to you, you’re going to be as happy as she was. That’s not to say that you won’t have your moments where things will get sticky between you and Elisabeth, but overall...I’d say you’ve got an excellent chance of making it.”
“Of course I do,” Darcy said with a smile. “I’m my father’s son, aren’t I? If being married in a hurry was good enough for him, it’s good enough for me.”
“I’m not sure that’s what I meant,” Mary said before laughing.
Elisabeth managed to have a conversation with Jenna in spite of the fact that her attention kept straying to Darcy, who was sitting and talking with Mary. She’d noticed that he hadn’t eaten much of his supper and that he’d been looking around the room as though he couldn’t believe he was actually there. She wasn’t sure what that look meant, but from the smile that occasionally lurked in his eyes, she believed he wasn’t thinking about anything negative.
“I see someone stole my seat while I was away. Would it be all right if I stole his seat in return?” Elisabeth looked up to find Thomas Williamson smiling down at her.
“Not at all,” she replied, motioning for him to sit. “He’s been over there for a couple of minutes, so it might be a while.”
“I suspected as much. How are you tonight? I haven’t had the chance to talk to you this week. You’ve either been working or you’ve been doing something about the wedding.”
“Oh, I’m okay. If I survive the next twenty-four hours without killing someone, I should make be in a great mood by the time our plane touches down in Hawaii.”
Thomas looked around with a small smile on his lips. “Your mother does have a rather forceful personality, doesn’t she?”
“Forceful’s a nice way of describing it. ‘Pushy’ and ‘demanding’ are my two favorite words.” Elisabeth sighed. “She’s not always as bad as she’s been lately. It’s the pressures of the wedding.”
“You don’t have to tell me about that. I remember Sarah’s wedding. She was the first of our girls to get married, and Mary went all-out to make the day perfect. You wouldn’t know it by looking at her, but she can be as forceful as your mother when she wants to be, and for Sarah’s wedding, she was. The fights they used to have scared me. And I don’t scare easily.”
“I can imagine,” Elisabeth said, thinking of the fights she’d had with her mother. “Why do you suppose we fight? I figured the reason Ma and I were fighting was because that’s just what we do. But hearing that Mary and Sarah fought over Sarah’s wedding...well, it makes me wonder. Do you suppose it’s a generational thing, or just the stress of the occasion?”
Thomas shrugged. “Maybe both.”
Elisabeth smiled. “I bet it makes you grateful you’re a man, doesn’t it? You don’t have to deal with all the wedding nonsense.”
“Oh, yes I did. A double earful, believe me. I had Mary telling me that Sarah was an ungrateful brat in one ear while Sarah was complaining that Mary was trying to run everything and she was miserable in my other. Anyone who says the men do nothing but show up to the church wearing a tuxedo are wrong. Men hear the complaints and sooth the combatants.”
“And are grateful they’re not more involved,” Elisabeth concluded on her own. “I’m grateful Darcy’s been as supportive as he has. I know I haven’t been easy to live with the past month or so. He should’ve turned and run away as fast as he could a long time ago. I know he wouldn’t, but he should’ve.”
“It does me good to hear you say that,” Thomas said. “As much as I’d like to sit here and say that I never had any doubts about my grandson’s personality in the years he was gone, the fact remains that I sometimes did. He was a charming, fearless little boy. He could lie to you while giving you the most angelic of smiles, but he never backed down from anything. And when it came down to it, he had a good sense of what was right and wrong. There’s a picture in one of the photo albums Mary has of them...did you get to see it when you were with us at Christmas?”
“I looked through about a million photo albums.”
“There’s one picture of Dare that is my favorite of all the pictures we have. When he was in the second grade, a photographer from some newspaper took a picture of his entire class because they’d raised money for a classmate who was sick. There are three rows of innocent little smiles, and then there’s Dare Williamson in the back row, with his fists raised to his chin like he's ready to take someone on and grinning like a little devil. He told his parents that one of his friends dared him to do it. Amelia wasn’t amused by the picture, but Ron insisted on getting a copy from the photographer.”
Elisabeth chuckled, remembering that the picture had been stuck underneath another picture in the album, as though the person who had placed pictures in it had wanted to hide that one.
“Ron sent us another copy of the picture, I think because he feared Amelia would throw out his. It was the first one I would flip to whenever I got to looking through those things. I’d look at Dare and wonder if that little mischievous boy was still there or if he’d changed. You’re probably wondering what the big deal was about the picture.”
Elisabeth shook her head patiently, knowing he would get to the point of the story in his own time.
“When Amelia asked him who had dared him to pose like that, he wouldn’t say. He didn’t want to get his friends in trouble. He’d promised them he wouldn’t tell, and he didn’t. Dare was grounded for a week and he still wouldn’t tell. You might think that was a situation where he should’ve told, but Darcy wouldn’t have agreed with you.”
Elisabeth was about to tell him that she was about to agree that Darcy probably should’ve told when they were interrupted by Ruth.
“I wonder why that boy doesn’t get around to his speech. He should’ve made it before we started supper, that way the guys could leave for his bachelor party.”
“What speech?” Elisabeth asked with a small sigh, knowing she and Thomas wouldn’t get a chance to finish their conversation. “I wasn’t aware that the groom was supposed to make a speech, and if I didn’t know, you can be sure Darcy didn’t, either.”
“Of course he’s supposed to make a speech. It’s tradition. You’d think he’d know and have something ready, but he seems content to sit over there with Mary, yakking away as if he didn’t have a responsibility to see to.”
“As Darcy’s never been married before, I don’t think he knows,” Elisabeth said. “What’s the big deal? If Darcy doesn’t want to make a speech, then he doesn’t have to. I love to hear him talk, but it won’t kill me if he doesn’t have something prepared.”
“You wouldn’t wish anything bad to happen on your wedding day, would you? Because if Darcy doesn’t follow tradition and give a speech, you never know what might happen.”
“You make that sound like a threat. Isn’t there a tradition about the bride’s father saying something during the reception?”
“Yes.” Ruth’s lips thinned. “And I suppose you have no problem with Mel not saying anything tomorrow in your father’s place.”
“He said he wouldn’t feel comfortable, and I’m not going to object. He and I haven’t been close, Ma. It wouldn’t seem right, somehow, having him make a speech. I don’t suppose Daddy left a little letter for you to read at each of our weddings,” Elisabeth said hopefully to her mother. “You know, like the one he had you read at Granny Bess’s funeral?”
“No, he didn’t,” Ruth said. “He left the letter to be read at your grandmother’s funeral because he wanted to be sure everyone understood how much she meant to him. There were some in our family who thought...well, like I said yesterday, your father was a little wild in his youth and there were a few who never let him forget it. They didn’t think he was as grateful as he ought to be for everything she’d done for him, and he wanted to set the record straight. You were his child. Everyone knew how he felt about you.”
“Of course they did,” Elisabeth said with a nod.
“At any rate, since your father isn’t with us anymore and Mel has refused point-blank to give a speech, I guess it’s up to me to say something in Eric’s place.”
Elisabeth turned pale. “Uh...you’re going to say something?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
Ruth looked exasperated. “Because Eric isn’t around to do it, so someone has to say something. Why else?” Before Elisabeth could object, Ruth was called away.
“Oh, God,” Elisabeth groaned. “I’d rather have Mel even if we haven’t gotten along well until recently.”
“Just think, Elisabeth, it’s only another twenty-four hours. Perhaps not even that, if you and Darcy decide to leave the reception as early as possible.”
“Do you suppose anyone would notice if we left two minutes after it started?”
Thomas laughed, which did little to alleviate Elisabeth’s fears.
“I think your bride could use some rescuing,” Mary said. “Why don’t you go ahead and make your speech?”
“Speech?” Darcy was confused, as he had no idea that he was supposed to give a speech tonight.
“To thank all of your guests for coming and to reassure them of how madly in love you are with the bride. It’s a tradition.”
“I don’t remember hearing about such a tradition, and trust me, if there were, Ruth would’ve said something to me long before now.” Darcy bravely looked at Ruth, expecting her to say that it was time for him to make a speech. Ruth was talking with Mel but seemed to sense that someone was looking at her, because she turned to look his way. Darcy gave her a little wave.
“You could beat her to the punch,” Mary said.
“But I don’t have a speech prepared.”
“Well that much was obvious. But you’re resourceful, Dare. You can come up with something on the spot, I’m sure. Now go on.”
Darcy stood up, gave his grandmother’s hand a squeeze, and walked back to the head table, knowing there was no way out of this. He picked up his water glass and tapped it several times with his spoon. The noise in the room slowly died out, and Darcy cleared his throat. He looked at Ruth, who was nodding in approval.
“Uh...my grandmother told me I have to give a speech, so I guess I’m giving a speech. I’m not sure what to say because I didn’t know I had to give a speech, but I’ll do my best and maybe I’ll...stop rambling psychotically after a few minutes.”
“It’s not going to take that long, is it?” Chazz asked, earning him a frown from Ruth and a dirty look from Jenna.
“I’ll try to keep it brief.” Darcy cleared his throat again. “I’d like to thank all of you for being here tonight. A lot of you rearranged your schedules and flied out here, and it means a lot to me...and Elisabeth, of course. We hope you enjoy the rest of your time in Effingham.” Darcy grimaced, knowing he was off to a horrible start. He looked at Elisabeth, then at everyone in the room, who stared back at him in expectation of what he would say next. “It’s funny, the path life takes you on. One day, you’re a successful businessman in a major corporation, the next...you’re serving up pizza in a restaurant in the middle of nowhere. No offense.”
“None taken,” Elisabeth said, as everyone chuckled.
“When I first came to Effingham to work at Planet Earth Pizza, I had no idea that I was going to meet someone like Elisabeth. In fact, when I first met Elisabeth, I had no idea she was the wonderful woman she is. And she certainly had no idea that I was the charming, handsome, intelligent man of her dreams who had arrived at last to sweep her off her feet and carry her off into the sunset,” Darcy said with a smile at Elisabeth. “Come to think of it, I think she used words like ‘jerk’ and ‘arrogant snot’ when talking about me.”
“I didn’t call you an arrogant snot. I’ve never called anyone an arrogant snot,” Elisabeth said.
“Notice that she didn’t deny calling you a jerk,” Charlie said.
“Well, I could hardly deny that, could I? The whole world pretty much knew how I felt about him at first.”
“I’d give that a big ‘amen,’” Jack said.
“Anyway, somehow...I don’t quite know, but I give a lot of the credit to God...somehow we were able to see past our initial differences and got to know each other. Once we did that, we fell in love and so...here we are, in spite of everything that was against us.” Darcy smiled at Elisabeth again. “Thank you for taking a chance on me.”
“The feeling is mutual,” she said as Darcy bent down to kiss her amongst the polite applause of their guests. “By the way, when you were in the second grade, who dared you to pose with your fists raised for the newspaper’s photographer?”
“Huh?”
“Thomas was telling me a story about your second grade class getting their picture in the paper, and you appeared...”
“Oh, that picture.”
“Right, that picture. Who dared you to do it?”
Darcy smiled. “Sorry, can’t tell. They might get in trouble.”
Elisabeth’s reply of, “Twenty years later?” was drowned out by Chazz.
“Are we officially finished?” Chazz asked. “I mean, all the speeches are done for the night and everyone’s eaten what they’re gonna eat and all that?”
“I think so,” Darcy said. “Why?”
“Because it’s time to party.” Chazz stuck a party hat on his head and conjured up a kazoo as if by magic. He put the kazoo in his mouth and played a funeral dirge. “Your last night of freedom, man!”
“Oh, right.” Darcy sighed. He was in no mood to party tonight even though he was the guest of honor. “You know, I think I might call it a night and...”
“What? No way! El and the girls had their wild and crazy night. You’re entitled to the same, aren’t you? I know she’s made you promise not to have strippers, but you’re not gonna let her ruin your bachelor party, are you?”
“This has nothing to do with Elisabeth. It’s me. I’m not up to having some wild and crazy party just because I’m getting married tomorrow. I know you guys went to a lot of trouble to get something fun together in spite of the no stripper rule, and...”
“That’s right. We did, so you’re stuck with it,” D.J. told him.
“Come on. I’m not going to have a good time, which would defeat the purpose,” Darcy said.
“Guys, I think we’re going to have to bind and gag him to get him to Chazz’s,” Jack said, startling Darcy because he hadn’t known he was behind him.
He realized then that they had him surrounded, leaving him with no choice about going to the bachelor party unless he wanted to make a scene. Since that would embarrass him until he was old and gray, he opted for passive resistance, continuing to protest the need for a party or at the very least the need for his presence until they were out of the restaurant and on their way to Chazz’s townhouse.
Darcy was nervous as he sat in the car with D.J. and Jack. Although he’d reminded them there were to be no strippers at the party, a few furtive looks they’d exchanged throughout the drive had made him suspicious. Away from the restaurant, he was feeling slightly more in the mood to have a good time, but not at the expense of his promise to Elisabeth. The bachelor party might not be as fun as Chazz would like, but at least Darcy would feel better in the morning.
Darcy felt nothing but relief when Jack pulled into the driveway at Chazz's townhouse. Even from the outside, he could hear music blaring and he grimaced at the thought of another party where he would be in danger of losing his hearing permanently. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn’t notice Chazz had opened his car door until he spoke.
“Are you gonna get out or are you gonna stay in here and think about what a rosy-colored future you’re going to have?”
Darcy nearly hit his head on the roof of the car. “Dammit, don’t scare me like that,” he said. “I’m getting out. I was just wondering what we’re doing here.”
“We decided to have the bachelor party here,” D.J. said. “Chazz's neighbors might complain...”
“Oh, there’s no might about that. They’ll complain, and I doubt they’ll want to join the party as Elisabeth’s neighbors always do. Anyway, they’ll complain, but we’re having it here anyway. So get out of this car because we’ve got beer and booze and some fun videos and...well, other stuff we’ll be doing.”
“Videos?” Darcy asked weakly as he got out of the car.
“Yeah. We rented Bambi,” Jack said. “Elisabeth told us it was one of your favorites.”
When Darcy walked into Chazz’s townhouse, he was immediately reminded of the party Elisabeth had thrown right before she’d found out she was pregnant. The music was loud with a heavy beat, there were people everywhere, and it seemed like half a dozen things were going on at once. The moment he stepped in the doorway, Jack thrust a party hat at him and ordered him to put it on. Darcy glanced at the garish red hat which had GROOM written in large letters across it.
We definitely should’ve eloped, he thought as he tossed the hat aside.
“Hey! I didn’t buy that thing so you could ignore it,” Chazz yelled, grabbing the hat off the floor and slamming it onto Darcy’s head. “Leave it there.”
“I think it’s obvious who I am,” Darcy said in protest, but when he went to take the hat off again, someone squirted him with a water gun. Darcy glared at the offending party and saw that it was his cousin Terry. “Okay, okay. It’ll stay on, but no pict...” Before Darcy could finish the sentence, a camera’s flash illuminated his face. “C’mon, guys! You’re not supposed to give Elisabeth ammunition for our future fights by taking pictures of the bachelor party!”
“Like there’s going to be any reason she’d get mad about that picture,” his cousin, Nick Hampton, said. “Get the man a beer!”
Darcy declined the beer, which earned him more taunts about being a spoilsport, but when he joined in a game of poker that was going on, the ones not directly involved with the game forgot about him and continued having fun. After about half an hour of good-natured teasing about this being his “last day of freedom,” Darcy started getting into the spirit of the occasion. His friends might think he was dull because he preferred not to spend his bachelor party in a drunken stupor with a beautiful girl dancing in his lap, but they’d done their best to accede to his wishes and he was appreciative of it.
Another hour and a half passed before Chazz stood on his coffee table and tried to get everyone’s attention. “Hey hey hey hey hey!” Chazz tried to whistle without success, causing Darcy to laugh when he blew a raspberry instead. Eventually, Jack got up and turned off the music. “Thanks, man.”
“Anytime,” Jack replied before returning to his seat on the couch.
“Now, I know I’m only the groom...groosman or whatever,” Chazz said in a slightly slurred voice.
“You’re also drunk as hell, but we won’t hold that against you,” Jack said.
“Shut up. What was I saying?”
“That you’re drunk as hell,” Darcy said. “And you’re only the groosman, whatever that is.”
“How come you’re not as drunk as me?”
“Because I’m the groom.”
“But you’re the reason we’re all here,” Chazz said. His face brightened. “Oh, I remember what I wanted to say. I know I’m only the groomsman, but I feel that tomorrow I should get the opportunity to make a speech about Darcy. No offense, J.D., but we’ve known him for a year and we’ve gotten to know the real Darcy and not that starched-up jerk who first came to work at Planet Earth Pizza and looked down his nose at everything.”
“That’s D.J., not J.D.,” Darcy said, but no one paid any attention to that.
“I remember Darcy when he wasn’t so starched-up,” D.J. said. “You should hear about some of the things we used to do to my sister Mallory when no one was around. Remember the time we put syrup in her hair when she told on us about the cherry bombs, Dare?”
Darcy laughed and nodded. “Your mother got so frustrated she just cut most of it off. Your dad spanked us until neither of us could sit for days.”
“See? That’s the real Dare. I’ve always known him, so stop trying to us...usur...stop trying to steal my thunder,” D.J. said.
“I’m not stealing your thunder. I’m just gonna speechify...is that a word? Where the hell is Charlie when you need her? Never around.” Chazz gave Jack a disgusted look, as though Charlie should be available for dictionary consults whenever it was necessary.
“Recovering from last night,” Jack said.
“Huh. Okay, my speech. I was gonna...gonna do a run-dry...no, that’s not it. A run-down...”
Darcy smiled. “A run-through?” he suggested.
“Yeah, that’s it! A run-through! I’m gonna do a run-through of my speech for tomorrow.” Chazz cleared his throat. “Okay, so like, you all know the story about Darcy. In New York, he was a cog in the evil Empire controlled by his even eviler aunt, slaving away at a job that paid him little and made him work a lot.”
“And then she sent him here to work at a job that paid worse and made him work almost as hard,” Jack said.
“Hey, shut up. This is my speech. Where was I? Oh, yeah. Then one day, for reasons unknown, you came here and you met Elisabeth and now you’re gonna live happily ever after. And I hope when I get married that I have a fairy-tale ending like that.”
“Charles, you’re drunk,” Darcy said.
“Yup. And I intend to get even drunker. Don’t worry about me, though. I’ll be able to make it to your wedding. Jenna said she’d roll me down the aisle if she had to, but I’d be there.”
“That’ll impress Ruth,” Jack said as there was loud knocking on the door.
“Ruth doesn’t scare me. Not when I’m in my Super-Chazz mode. As a matter of fact, I know who that has to be at the door. It’s either my pain-in-the-butt neighbors, who hate my guts and hate Jenna and are jerks because they think they’re better than everyone else, or it’s the cops.” Chazz laughed as he got off his coffee table and made his way to the door, stumbling over anything that was in his path. He put an eye to the peephole and said, “Yup, it’s the cops. Should I tell them not to shoot at us?”
“You go right on ahead,” Darcy said, frowning as he realized that they could be in serious trouble. What’s with people these days, that you can’t have a little bit of fun without someone complaining?
“I think I will.” Chazz opened the door and said, “Don’t shoot! We’re unarmed, except for Terry, who’s got a water gun. But he ran out of ammo and was too lazy to get more, right Ter?”
“That’s right!” Terry called from the other side of the room, where he’d been talking with some of his family members about college basketball.
Chazz opened the door wider and two women in uniform stepped inside. One was tall, with red hair pulled back into a severe knot at the back of her head. The other police officer was petite and brunette. “Is there a problem, officers?”
“We received two complaints about excessive noise coming from this townhouse,” the brunette said with a frown, taking out a small notebook.
“You’ll have to forgive us, Officer...um, what was your name?” D.J. asked, standing up and walking over to the door to join Chazz.
“Houston,” she said. “I’m Officer Houston and this is Officer Welles.”
“Yes, Officer Houston. You’ll have to forgive us. You see, my cousin’s getting married tomorrow afternoon and this is the bachelor party.”
“You guys never heard of a bar?” Officer Welles asked. “You could’ve made all the noise you wanted there as long as you weren’t too rowdy.”
“We thought about it, but we weren’t sure they’d have enough room for all of us,” Jack said politely as he walked over to join Chazz and D.J. “Are we in a lot of trouble? Because if we are, I think we should go ahead and get it taken care of so we don’t miss the wedding tomorrow or anything like that.”
“I think we can probably clear this us quickly,” Officer Welles said. “So, who’s the lucky guy?”
D.J. and Chazz stepped away and motioned toward Darcy, who was still wearing his little “groom” hat. “He’s the one,” Chazz said, his worried look abruptly changing into a grin. “If you have to arrest anyone, arrest him.”
“Me? But I wasn’t doing anything,” Darcy said in protest. “Why should I be arrested?”
“Oh, I don’t think that will be necessary,” Officer Houston said as she reached back and undid her hair. “I think we can handle this without anyone getting in trouble.”
“Oh, no,” Darcy said. His face got red as he realized what was going on. From the reaction of the other guests, he knew they’d been in on it the whole time.
“Oh, yes,” the fake policewoman said as she walked up to him. Someone changed the music to Aerosmith’s “Rag Doll.”
“Uh...” It was all Darcy was able to say as she started dancing. Officer Welles joined her a moment later. Elisabeth’s going to kill me slowly with a dull spoon if she finds out about this.
When the two had finished their dance, everyone cheered and asked for another. Darcy quickly stood up. “You’re both lovely,” he said. “And I think my friends will enjoy seeing you dance some more, but I...I need a few minutes.”
“Officer Houston” looked at him knowingly, and Darcy blushed again. It wasn’t what she was thinking, but he knew it would be easier if he didn’t disabuse her of that notion. He opened the sliding glass door and stepped outside, shutting it firmly behind him. As the music started up again, along with a roar from everyone still inside, Darcy smiled. “Live it up, guys,” he said as he made his escape.
He was still grinning as he walked toward Evergreen Community Park. He was glad he hadn’t been talked into drinking, because he wanted a clear head for tomorrow instead of the hangover he knew his friends would have.
It was a mild night for March. The temperature had dropped into the low fifties. The sky was clear and the moon was full. The forecasters were predicting sleet for Sunday night, but by then Darcy was planning to be on a beach in Hawaii with Elisabeth. Still, despite the relative calm, it wasn’t necessarily perfect weather for someone to be out in. The cool air started to get to him a bit so he picked up the pace in an effort to warm up. Another few steps found him jogging, each step clearing his head of all the worries he’d had leading up to tonight.
Darcy turned right at the corner of Maple and Evergreen, leaving only a short distance left before he would reach the park. What he would do once he got there, he didn’t know. The park was probably closed at this time of night and the last thing he wanted to do was get into trouble. Ruth would kill him if she had to come bail him out in the morning. He’d be too embarrassed to call his grandparents. Everyone else he could think of was either partying themselves into oblivion or staying someplace where he didn’t know the number.
He got to the front gate and found that sure enough, the park was closed and locked. He glanced up at the fence and wondered if it was worth the trouble of climbing when he heard someone giggling. He looked through the fence into the park and saw a woman on the swing set. Fearing that he may have intruded on a private moment, he almost walked away when the woman laughed out loud.
Darcy recognized that laugh, and it had him scrambling up the fence and over it to get to her.
Elisabeth knew as she made escape from the house that her mother would kill her if she could see her now. Ruth had ordered Elisabeth to bed at ten. “Sleep is essential, Elisabeth. You don’t want to look like a raccoon tomorrow, do you? Makeup can only hide so much, and if you’re tired, you’ll look it in your wedding pictures. You want nice-looking wedding pictures, don’t you?”
Elisabeth hadn’t quite understood that rationale, since in all likelihood the groom and his friends were going to look hung over, but she’d gone to her room and pretended to sleep nonetheless. After a couple of hours, however, she’d given up and now she was heading out.
It wasn’t a bad night to be out, which was the reason why Elisabeth was making the short trek from her house to Evergreen Community Park. She was well-protected from the cold with an old fleece jacket that had been her father’s, jeans that she was finally able to fit into again, a blue flannel button-down shirt which had seen better days, and tennis shoes.
When she got to the park, she frowned at seeing a sign telling her what the park hours were. She’d never noticed it before, since she’d always been at the park during the day, but why would a park need hours? How likely was it that someone was going to be able to take off with the merry-go-round? She looked at the fence, which was about ten feet high. She decided to take the chance that it would be strong enough for her to climb and was rewarded by soon making it to the other side.
She made her way to the swing set, where she took a seat. The park hadn’t been here when she’d been a child, but she supposed that one park was as good as any other at stirring up childhood memories. She took a few steps back and then pushed off, swinging higher and higher until she got the familiar sensation that she was flying. She almost shrieked with glee but restrained herself as it was well after midnight. She satisfied herself with giggling, which she was sure would attract no attention.
Eventually, Elisabeth started to slow down, and that’s when she saw him. Although he was standing under a large pine tree and partially hidden by the shadows, she knew who it had to be, so she slowed down. “What are you doing here?” she asked.
“Watching you.”
“Really? You’re lucky I’m marrying you tomorrow, because watching me without speaking and standing where I can’t see you could be construed as stalking.”
“I think the cops would be more interested in hearing why you’re here at the park after hours.” Darcy stepped into the moonlight and went over to the swings. As she brought herself to a stop, he took a seat on the swing next to hers. She turned to look at him. “Alone again,” he said softly. “Strange, isn’t it, how it took every bit of planning for us to get a little time together last weekend and yet tonight we meet by accident?”
Elisabeth nodded. “Every time you’d plan something romantic, something would come along to mess it all up. It made me want to scream.”
“Screaming was high on my list of things to do in order to relieve stress, too. But it all ends tomorrow. Then we’ll have plenty of time to be by ourselves. There won’t be anyone with demands on our time, and when we come back, it’ll be you, me, and Grace...and only the occasional problems with our relatives.”
Elisabeth frowned. “Do you really think she’ll be okay with D.J. and Jolie? I mean, maybe we should take her with us.”
“El, they know what they’re doing. They’ve got one of their own, remember? Grace will be fine, believe me.”
“I know, I know. I just feel guilty about leaving her for a whole week. It feels like we’re abandoning her and that’s probably what she’ll think. She’ll end up scarred for life because her parents went on a honeymoon and left her with strangers. Not strangers to us, but strangers to Grace.”
“She didn’t put up a fuss when we let her go off with D.J. and Jolie earlier, did she?”
“Well, no, but I’m sure she thinks of that as temporary. She might forget who we are by the end of a week.”
“I somehow doubt that.” He took her hand and brought it to his lips. “We’ll come home and she’ll still be the same sweet, stubborn little Grace we know and love.”
“Yeah.” The two of them sat in companionable silence for a minute before curiosity got the best of Elisabeth. “So...what are you doing here?” Elisabeth asked. “Weren’t you supposed to have a couple of scantily-clad buxom beauties bouncing on your lap right about now?”
“I promised you there wouldn’t be any strippers,” Darcy said, feeling his cheeks get hot.
Elisabeth smiled knowingly. “I heard Chazz and D.J. talking outside the restaurant. Chazz was reassuring D.J. that the...ah, ladies would be there on time.”
Darcy sighed. “Look, they danced and that was about it. There was no lap dancing going on, and shortly after they were done, I left to come here. Please don’t kill me.”
“It’s okay,” Elisabeth said. “You get to live.”
“I do?”
“Uh-huh. See, Jenna and a bunch of the others dragged me to a bar that had male strippers. And I got a lot of attention because I was the bride.”
“I see.” Darcy wondered if he should be upset about this. “How much attention are we talking?”
“Weeell, there was this one guy named Frederick who dressed up in leather and danced around and...uh, well, there was this little matter of me dancing with him on stage.”
“Frederick? As in Frederick the dancing architect that Lydia mentioned at the rehearsal?”
Elisabeth nodded.
“I wouldn’t imagine an architect would be considered a sexy role for a stripper to play. Why would he be an architect?”
“Oh, he wasn’t. He was the man in black leather on stage. But after he danced he sat with us for a few minutes and he mentioned that he was leaving because he had a job as an architect in Chicago, so we started calling him Frederick the dancing architect and the name sort of stuck. But the guy Lydia danced with was only pretending to be a sailor.”
“So that’s who Frederick the dancing architect was. I did wonder. What were you doing on stage?”
“Like I said, I was the bride. Those same kidnappers told the emcee or whatever he was that I was getting married so I got a special little dance of my own. I’d say it was kind of the same treatment you got from your lady friends.”
“I didn’t dance with the strippers they hired.”
“Hey, at least I wasn’t as bad as Lydia. I only danced. She started stripping when she got on stage, so just remember that it could’ve been worse.” Elisabeth leaned over and kissed him gently. “So, how drunk are you right now?”
“Stone cold sober.”
“Seriously?”
Darcy nodded. “I didn’t want to have a headache going into the biggest day of my life, so I stayed away from the alcohol. It wasn’t that hard.”
“That’s so sweet,” Elisabeth said. “I bet your bachelor party wasn’t half as much fun as it might’ve been if you’d been drinking. Makes me feel bad that I went out and got hammered at my bachelorette party.”
“You know I’m not the party animal type to begin with. If it had been left up to me, I probably wouldn’t have bothered, but you know Chazz. He insisted.”
“Yes, I know Chazz.” Elisabeth tangled her legs with Darcy’s. “Just think, in a few months you’ll have the extreme version of your bachelor party when you go to his. You’ll have to get even with him for hiring strippers over your objections.”
“I have a feeling he’d enjoy any revenge of that sort,” Darcy said. “In fact, he’s probably already thinking about it.”
“Naturally. So what you’ll do is have a party where he’ll be expecting strippers and instead he’ll get tea and crumpets.”
Darcy laughed. “That’s what he predicted my bachelor party would be without strippers. Tea and crumpets and talking of how great married life is.”
Elisabeth smiled. “That’s what my bridal shower was. Well, we had cake instead of crumpets, whatever they are, but it was nice. Nicer than I thought it was going to be.”
“Yeah, because it ended with you going to see strippers.” Darcy wondered if he should be a little more upset about this than he was, but decided that she’d known about what would happen at his bachelor party and hadn’t been upset, so he had no right to say anything.
“No, that’s not why it was nice. Don’t get me wrong, that was a lot of fun, but I went to the bridal shower expecting to be bored out of my mind as I smiled and accepted half a dozen toasters and played silly games. And while I did have to do those things, there was...I don’t know. After the games, your grandmother started talking about marriage and that got Ma to talk about when she married Daddy, and...it was one of those times that made me realize that they had loved each other. Maybe he didn’t love her as much in the end, but he loved her enough to marry her.”
“You said you thought he would’ve left your mother after you were all grown.”
Elisabeth nodded. “Now I’m not so sure. I think I got a better idea of what Daddy meant when he said ‘stranger things have happened’ when I asked him why he’d married her.”
“Yeah. My mother married my father. That would certainly be something stranger, considering where they came from when they met.” Darcy paused. “You know, when I was talking with my grandmother earlier, we talked about what Dad would’ve thought of you.”
“Do I want to know this?” Elisabeth asked.
“I don’t see why not. You know Grandma loves you.”
“Yeah, but it doesn’t necessarily follow that your father would’ve liked me just because she does.” Elisabeth untangled her legs from Darcy’s and pushed off enough to swing gently back and forth. Finally, she asked, “What would his opinion have been, according to Mary?”
“He would’ve liked you. Both of them would’ve. But...um, talking about my parents got me wondering about your father.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah. What would he have thought of me? Would he think I was not good enough for you or that I had too much baggage? Would he think I was an elitist snob because I don’t know much about sports and too much about great works of literature and classical music?”
Elisabeth contemplated that for a minute. “Daddy would’ve liked you,” she said. “He liked intelligent people, and you’re certainly that. I think I told you once that he loved to read, so he’d probably be familiar with the books you like. He wasn’t much for classical music, but I don’t think he would dislike someone for that.”
“You really think he would’ve, or are you just saying that?”
“I’m convinced of it. You might not have been best friends or anything----you would be the dirty dog who was marrying his innocent little girl, after all----but there were few people in this world that Daddy disliked.” Elisabeth stopped swinging again. “He wouldn’t have liked George, and he probably would’ve found Chazz amusing, but I do think he’d have liked you best.”
“I’m not asking if he’d have liked me best...”
“I know.” Elisabeth took hold of his hand. “What’s most important here is that I like you best. If my father were here and he didn’t like you, it wouldn’t matter to me. I’d be marrying you tomorrow anyway.”
“Same goes.” Darcy leaned in for a kiss.
Elisabeth reluctantly pulled away after a minute. “You know, maybe we should continue this conversation at the top of the spiral slide. No one could see us there,” she said.
“You think someone’s going to come by and see us?”
“You never know.”
Darcy sighed and stared at the ground for a bit. He asked, “So, how many toasters did we get? I was expecting you to bring your gifts home last night, but then you went out carousing with dancing architects and faux sailors so I never did hear what you got.”
“Only one. Everyone did a pretty good job of not getting me the same gift, except for the two blenders. We’re now the proud owners of a George Foreman grill, compliments of the Gossip Sisters. Just think, cooking will be a snap for you with one of those.”
“Great.”
“We got a bunch of stuff for a romantic night in from my family, including an unmentionably tasteless bit of lingerie from Lydia.”
“I refuse to wear it. I prefer my lingerie to be in good taste,” Darcy said.
Elisabeth opted not to dignify that with an answer. “I’m surprised Lydia got me anything. She rarely remembers special occasions and when she does, I’m lucky if I get a card from her. Maybe she really has turned the corner for good.”
Darcy gave her skeptical look. “You don’t really believe that, do you?”
“Lydia will always be Lydia. I was sort of surprised that she was able to keep quiet about where we were going last night. She’s never been able to keep a secret for more than ten minutes. And speaking of people who have a hard time keeping their mouths shut, can we talk about you telling everyone why Bubba got fired?” Elisabeth frowned at him. If she hadn’t been sitting on a swing, she would’ve put her hands on her hips.
“Oh, that.”
“Yes, that. You didn’t think I was going to forget, did you? Darcy, you could get me in a lot of trouble for telling you that.”
“Why? Jack was there, too, wasn’t he?”
“Jack could be relied on to keep quiet about the incident. Did Charlie know about it before you told everyone?” Elisabeth asked.
“No, she was as disgusted as everyone else when I mentioned it. Look, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said anything, but after the tenth time your mother grumbled about you having to work today and Lydia agreeing with her and even Charlie occasionally chiming in with the ‘why couldn’t Sean have worked all day by himself’ chorus, I had to give them something to get off the subject. Fortunately for me, you walked in right then and the discussion didn’t go any further.”
“Did you have to tell them that, though? Couldn’t you have just told them the truth, that I wanted to avoid Ma?”
“That would’ve gone over well. Look, I didn’t tell them about Bubba stealing the beer. Everyone thinks he was fired for sneaking in to have sex in the dining room.”
“I think Sean would rather they know about the beer than the other.”
Darcy sighed and took one of her hands in his. “You’re not really going to get in much trouble, are you? I didn’t think before I told them and I should’ve. I’m sorry.”
“Don’t worry about it. It would’ve gotten around eventually. As good as Jack is about keeping stuff quiet, he would’ve told Charlie and it would’ve gotten around. A story like that is irresistible.” Elisabeth leaned in and kissed him.
They were still kissing when they heard the car approaching. With reluctance, Elisabeth pulled away from her to take a look at what was coming. It was a police car. “I told you we should’ve gone to the spiral slide,” she said. “There’s much more privacy.”
The car came to a stop. A window was rolled down, a flashlight was pointed in their direction, and they heard a male voice say, “You two need to go home. The park is closed.”
“What does he think we’re going to do? Steal the playground equipment?” Darcy muttered.
“I dare you to ask him that.” Elisabeth got up from the swing.
“Sure. We’ll exchange our wedding vows at the police station because I’ll be in jail. Your mother would love that.” Darcy stood up and gave the officer a small wave. “You know, I really should’ve figured out that those two weren’t real police officers a lot sooner than I did.”
“Weren’t they dressed in some scanty little outfit that only pretended to be a police uniform?”
“No, they looked like the real thing, but I just realized that neither one of them had a badge.” Darcy raised his voice and said, “We’re sorry, sir, we didn’t realize that the park was closed.”
“Of course you didn’t. You must’ve missed the sign over there giving the park’s hours. And I’m betting you had to climb the fence to get in, so how did you not know?” The flashlight’s beam was briefly pointed over at the sign to indicate which one he meant. The officer then pointed it back at them. “Hey, I know you guys.”
“You do?” Elisabeth asked as she climbed back over the fence. After Darcy had done the same, she took his hand and they started walking toward the police car.
“Yeah. Planet Earth Pizza, right? You’re the manager and he’s a waiter there.”
“I’m the assistant manager, and he did wait tables,” Elisabeth said. “We’re getting married tomorrow afternoon.”
“Congratulations!” As they got closer to the car, the officer’s face came into view. Elisabeth vaguely recognized him as being among a quartet of cops who came in regularly to have lunch. For the life of her, she couldn’t think of his name. “In that case, I’ll let you guys off with just a warning. I’m betting you came here because you couldn’t find any other way of getting away from your families, right?”
“Right,” Elisabeth said. “And if you’d ever met my mother, you’d know how important it was that we got away from her.”
“This is the first time we’ve been alone together in almost a month,” Darcy said. “With the wedding and our friends and our daughter, it just seems like we haven’t had time on our own in forever.”
“I remember that feeling before I got married. Didn’t have the kid, but the relatives and the wedding plans...man. You guys want a lift home?”
“You sure you won’t get in trouble for that?” Darcy asked.
The policeman shook his head. “Hop on in. I promise not to take you to jail.”
Two minutes later, the car stopped in front of Ruth’s house and Elisabeth got out of the car. “I hope my mother’s still asleep because I’m not sure how I would explain this one,” she said. “Although it wouldn’t be the first time the police have brought me home after a late night.”
“Is this one of those stories I’m not going to want to hear about?” Darcy asked.
“Nah, it’s nothing like that. Just a really bad party and a nasty hangover the next day. Nothing bad.” Elisabeth stepped aside so Darcy could get out and looked up at her mother's bedroom window. The light was out, which was surprising considering the fact that Ruth had been a light sleeper all through Elisabeth’s adolescence. “Hey, you wanna come up for a few minutes?” she asked Darcy.
Darcy didn’t hesitate. He got out of the car, shut the door, and waved to the policeman as he drove away. “Have I ever mentioned this little fantasy of mine where my fiancée and I are in her parents’ house and...”
“No, but I have a pretty good idea of how this little fantasy ends.” Elisabeth grinned as she led Darcy into the house.
Posted on Monday, 22 December 2003
Darcy woke up when he heard the faint sound of an alarm clock beeping. He glanced over at Elisabeth, who was sleeping peacefully in the bed beside him. He smiled and wished he could stay and wait for her to wake up, but someone had turned off the alarm clock and was getting out of bed. He knew he had to go. If Ruth caught him in Elisabeth’s bed, especially in his current state of nudity, she’d...well, he didn’t want to think of what she’d do. Scream his ears off for a start.
Darcy got up and dressed as quickly and quietly as he could. Elisabeth remained asleep the entire time, although she had moved slightly once he had left the bed. As he finished putting his shoes on, he heard footsteps coming near and he grimaced, knowing that he had taken too long and that Ruth was about to burst in on them. But the steps continued past Elisabeth’s door and into what appeared to be the bathroom. When he heard the shower start, he knew he was safe.
Darcy noticed the pad of paper and pen sitting on the nightstand. On the top sheet of the notebook was a neatly-written list of things Elisabeth had to do today. Darcy ripped off that sheet and started to write a hasty note to Elisabeth so she would know why he’d left before she’d awakened.
Dearest, loveliest Elisabeth,By the time you read this, I’ll be back in our apartment getting ready for the wedding. I wish I could be here to watch you wake up, because in my opinion there’s no better way to start a morning than with you,
even on those mornings when you’re crankyno matter how you wake up. But I can already hear your mother moving about and pretty soon she’s going to be here to get you. It’s best if I don’t find out what she would do if she saw me here with you. Besides, you look so peaceful and beautiful while you’re sleeping that I wouldn’t have the heart to wake you up even if there was no Ruth.There were things I left out of my speech last night, things I wanted to say but preferred for the world not to know about. Last year at this time, I thought I’d been consigned to hell. I thought I would not find anything remotely interesting about working in a pizza place. The last thing I expected to find was someone like you, and even when we met, I was so blind that I almost missed out on the one thing that would make my life so much better. Before you, there were a lot of nights spent working at my office, trying to please a woman who would never be pleased. Spending time at the office allowed me to avoid how empty my life was.
Now, I have no one to please with my work but myself. I can leave whenever I want and come straight home. I have a reason to come home early. My life is no longer empty because you are part of it, and no matter how difficult our lives become, I know we’ll be fine because we love each other so much.
I could probably continue writing forever, but you would get bored with the mush and I just heard the shower turn off, which means your mother’s soon going to wake you up. The next time we see each other, we’ll be getting married. I thought I would be nervous about today, but I’m not, and I know it’s because of this----
I love you.
Darcy
The end of his note was less coherent than he would’ve liked, but he didn’t have enough time to make a second draft. The note as it was would have to do. Darcy found some Scotch tape and taped the note to Elisabeth’s full-length mirror, knowing at some point that she would look there and find it. He smiled and wondered what her reaction would be. The note was pure mush, he knew, but he knew how crazy this day was going to be for them both and a little mush couldn’t hurt.
He took one last look at her before opening her bedroom door. The sound of water running in the bathroom again assured him that Ruth wasn’t about to pop out and catch him. With swift, silent steps, Darcy walked down the stairs and headed for the front door, not noticing Mel, who was in the recliner and smiling as Darcy made his escape.
Elisabeth was roughly awakened half an hour later by her mother.
“Out of bed! Come on, Elisabeth, get up! It’s your wedding day and we’ve barely got enough time to get everything done as it is!”
Elisabeth opened her eyes with a start, fearing that Darcy might still be with her. But from the way her mother was talking, Darcy had obviously gotten up and returned to the apartment sometime after she’d fallen asleep. She was safe. The memory of their “adventure” had her smiling as she closed her eyes again.
“Elisabeth! You get up right this minute!”
With great reluctance, Elisabeth opened her eyes and looked up at her mother. She nearly laughed at the sight of Ruth with her hair in curlers and the remnants of what looked to be purple goo on her face from whatever beauty aid she’d been using.
“Elisabeth! Out...of...bed...now!” Ruth moved to the window and threw open the curtains, allowing the weak sunlight to brighten the room. Elisabeth saw patches of blue through the clouds and felt a glimmer of optimism about the weather.
“Calm down, Ma,” Jenna said as she breezed into the room. “The wedding can’t take place without Elisabeth, remember?”
“Everything is planned down to the minute, Jenna. Elisabeth needs to eat a little something now----not anything heavy, or else you’ll throw up----and have a shower before we meet Danie at Heather and Joe’s. All of you will have to have your hair done, and your makeup. Then we have to stop by the K.C. Hall to make sure everything’s in place for the reception, and then we head to the church. We have to get to the church early because otherwise Darcy might see her and it’s bad luck for the groom to see the bride before the wedding.”
Elisabeth struggled to keep from laughing as she thought of how much the groom had seen of the bride just a few hours ago. She hoped there were exceptions to that bad luck rule.
“I don’t see why we can’t just have Danie meet us at the church to do our hair and makeup after checking to be sure everything’s ready at the K.C. Hall. Doesn’t that sound like a more logical plan?” she asked as she started to throw back the covers. At the last second, she remembered that she was naked and turned away from Ruth to grope about the floor for something to cover her.
“You’d have your cousin drag all of her equipment to the church and then drag it back again?”
Ruth turned her back long enough for Jenna to toss Elisabeth a robe. Elisabeth hurriedly put it on and got out of bed. “You’re dragging all of us over to her house. It seems it would be more efficient for her to come to us. But that’s just me. What do I know?” Elisabeth stretched her arms over her head, yawning as she did so.
“Exactly. Now, hurry up. I had my shower over half an hour ago, so there should be plenty of hot water. Just don’t use it all up because Jenna and Lydia still haven’t had theirs.” Ruth hurried out of the room.
Elisabeth stretched for a few more seconds before heading to the bathroom to take her shower. Although she hated doing it to Jenna and Lydia, she made sure to take her time and not rush through it. By the time she was finished, the water was getting cold and Ruth was pounding on the door.
Elisabeth wrapped a towel around herself and walked out. She ignored her mother’s diatribe about being selfish, going so far as to shutting and locking her bedroom door while Ruth was still speaking. After she got dressed, she unlocked the door and allowed her mother to come in.
“I suppose you think it’s funny to lock me out of your room on your wedding day,” Ruth said, having waited the entire time for Elisabeth to unlock the door.
“No, I don’t think it’s funny. I just needed a few minutes of privacy, that’s all.” Elisabeth looked out the window. She was convinced that it was looking brighter than it had before her shower, even though the same clouds were in the sky and the sun was still having trouble shining through.
“You could’ve told me that. I would’ve done something else while waiting for you.”
No, you wouldn’t have. You’d have still been waiting at my door to pounce on me the minute I opened it up. Elisabeth looked up at where the clock in her room used to be, remembering after she’d checked that it had been packed up long ago. “What time is it?”
“Just after eight.”
“Eight? Ma, the wedding’s not till three! What’s the rush?”
“Trust me----when we’re able to relax for a few minutes before the ceremony, you’ll be grateful we got off to an early start. Besides, it’s always good to do this in case...well, I don’t want to jinx anything.”
Elisabeth frowned. She almost said that nothing could go wrong, but like Ruth, she thought it best if she didn’t jinx the day. Instead, she went downstairs to have breakfast with the rest of the family.
Elisabeth had noticed the note taped to her mirror earlier but with her mother bustling about the room, she hadn’t wanted to draw attention to it. She knew who it had to be from and had been hoping for a little privacy when she read it. She shut and locked her bedroom door before going over to the mirror and yanking the note off. She opened it and read the short, jumbled message.
She sat down on the bed and went over it a second time with a smile that only grew as she finished the note. She didn’t even care that he’d started to write about how cranky she was in the mornings. After all, it was true. Elisabeth was halfway through her third reading of Darcy’s note when she heard her mother.
“Elisabeth Cathleen Bennet! If you’re not down here in ten seconds, we’re leaving without you!” Ruth called from the bottom of the stairs.
Elisabeth stuck the note in her jeans pocket and unlocked her door. After getting it open, she asked, “If you leave without me, who’s going to marry Darcy?”
“This is no time for jokes! Now get down here!”
“I’m coming, I’m coming.” Elisabeth walked over to the closet, opened the left door, and found nothing inside. She frowned. She’d been certain she had seen her wedding gown in the closet last night. In fact, it had been the last thing she’d checked on before she’d tried to go to sleep. “Ma, do you have my dress?”
“Of course not. It’s in your closet. Now come on.”
Elisabeth opened the right closet door, but there was nothing on that side, either. She looked around the room, although if the dress had been outside the closet, she would’ve seen it long ago. Panic started to rise as Elisabeth ran downstairs to the master bedroom to look in her mother’s closet. The dress was nowhere to be found.
“Ma!” Elisabeth called. When she got no answer, she walked to the front door, peeked out, and saw her mother, Lydia, and Jenna getting into the car. She shouted, “MA! Where’s my dress?!”
Ruth glared at Elisabeth. “I told you already. It’s in the closet where you put it last night. Where else would it be?”
“I don’t know, but it’s not there now. I’ve checked your closet and it’s not there, either.” Elisabeth saw her mother roll her eyes but shut the car door without getting in. Elisabeth headed back up the stairs, intending to check Lydia’s room next. As Ruth climbed the stairs, Elisabeth said, “Check Jenna’s room. It might be there.”
“Don’t be ridiculous, Ellie. Your dress is in your room. I double-checked last night right before you went to bed.”
“Well, it’s not there now!” Elisabeth shouted. “Do you think I’d be here if the dress was where you said it was? I’d be in the damn car with the dress and we’d be on our way!”
Ruth walked down the hall to look in Elisabeth’s room as Elisabeth went to Lydia’s. Elisabeth threw open the closet doors and found nothing but a large brown grocery sack. It was too small for her dress to be in it. Tears filled her eyes and she felt an ache in her chest as she realized that her dress was gone.
“It’s gone,” she whispered. “My dress is gone. Why would someone steal a wedding dress?”
Ruth stepped out of Elisabeth’s room on her way to Jenna’s. “Don’t be ridiculous, Elisabeth. We’ve simply misplaced the dress. It has to be in the house somewhere, so keep looking. Check your room again.”
“You’ve checked it. I’ve checked it. There’s nothing there.” Elisabeth pressed her hands to her chest, trying to ease the ache. “My dress...”
“You just asked the question yourself. Why would someone steal a wedding dress? Now keep looking. It’s bound to turn up.”
Elisabeth nodded, her determination renewed. Her mother was right. The dress was somewhere. She just needed to find it.
Five minutes later, Elisabeth was ready to scream when Lydia walked into her bedroom. She was carrying the grocery bag her mother had put all the makeup in earlier. “Liddy! Put down that makeup and help me look for the dress,” she snapped at her. When Lydia continued to stand there, Elisabeth stopped searching and looked at her. “Why are you standing there? Someone’s stolen my dress and we have to find it.”
“You’re always giving me orders and commands,” Lydia muttered. “That’s all I ever hear from you.”
“I’ll make it up to you later, but right now I need that damned dress, so would you please help me look?”
“I know where it is.”
Elisabeth almost cried from relief. “Thank God! Where is it?”
“Right here.”
“But I’ve looked everywhere in the room and...” Elisabeth stopped speaking as Lydia opened the brown grocery bag and dumped a heap of shredded ivory satin and chiffon onto her bed.
The wedding dress.
Elisabeth was so stunned that all she could do was stand there with her mouth hanging open for a minute. Her dress, her beautiful dress that she’d fought so hard to get once her mother had rejected it...was now gone. Turned into such little scraps that not even a quilt maker would’ve taken them.
“You should’ve invited George to the wedding,” Lydia said with spite in her voice. “I only asked you to do one thing, and you wouldn’t do it. You’d let me be humiliated in front of my entire family because you have a grudge against my husband. So I decided if I was going to have to be humiliated, you would be, too. So there’s your wedding dress, El. Not fit for much of anything at the moment.”
“George...George did this to my dress?” Elisabeth whispered.
“No. I did.”
Elisabeth’s eyes were rooted to the pile of ruined fabric. No, not my dress. Please, don’t let this be my dress. My beautiful dress. God, please. Her mind refused to believe what her eyes were seeing, even when she grasped two handfuls of scraps.
“And believe me, I took great pleasure with each...little...bit. I made sure to take tiny snips, so it would last longer. I especially had fun with the veil. It was such a lovely veil that...”
“You vicious little bitch!” Elisabeth screamed, tossing aside the fabric and launching herself at her sister. She shoved Lydia hard against the wall and managed to get in one slap and a hard pull of her sister’s hair before she was dragged away by Ruth and Jenna. Elisabeth kicked out and got Lydia in the shin before she got too far from her.
“You deserved it!” Lydia shouted, hopping on one foot while holding her injured leg.
“I deserved it?! I deserved it?! You ruined my dress because I wouldn’t invite your low-life, two-timing, lying, cheating embezzler of a husband to my wedding?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“George stole the money he used to buy that damned tennis bracelet on your wrist and that truck he’s so proud of. Not only that, but he was paid to marry you.”
“No, he wasn’t!” Lydia howled. “And he didn’t do any of those things you’re saying!”
“Yes, he did. Don’t believe me? Then ask yourself this----where did that money come from? He didn’t even shoot a commercial while he was in New York, so why would he have been paid? And why was it so important for you two to get married the day he asked you?”
“Because we didn’t want to wait, that’s why!”
“Oh, really? You should talk with Thomas Palmer, then. George told him that the reason you two took off so abruptly is because there was five hundred thousand dollars riding on your marriage license.”
“I don’t believe you. You hate George. You’ve always hated George because he dumped you when you were pregnant, and that’s why you’re making up these lies about him!”
“Oh, please! I don’t give a damn about George Wickham one way or the other. I wouldn’t even bother myself to think about him except that he keeps doing something to screw up my life. If you want to be with him, fine. Great. After this, I’d say the two of you deserve each other. But if there’s one thing I know about George, it’s that he’s got a wandering eye. How long do you think it’ll be before he dumps you for someone else?”
“He loves me,” Lydia said stubbornly as Ruth let go of Elisabeth to stand by Lydia.
“Sure he does. And I’m sure you’ll go right on believing that until the day he walks out on you.” Elisabeth slipped free of her sister’s grip and ran straight for Lydia. She would’ve gotten another slap in, but Ruth pulled Lydia away at the last second and left Elisabeth flailing at air. Before she could find Lydia again, Jenna had caught up to her and pulled her back a few steps.
Ruth grasped Lydia by the shoulders and shook her hard. “How could you have done this to me?” she demanded to know. “This is your sister’s wedding day, the day I worked so hard to put together, and you’ve gone and ruined it.”
“Ma...” Lydia looked stunned. It was the first time in her life that her mother had spoken to her with such anger.
“Don’t think I’m going to take your side in this. Not today. You deliberately lied to me when you said you had forgiven Elisabeth for not inviting George to the wedding. You lied to Elisabeth, too. You pretended you were happy when all the while you were planning this...this...how could you do this to me? And to Mel! He’s the one who paid for this dress, you know. Do you have any idea how much it cost?”
“Of course she doesn’t. She ran away to get married so her husband could inherit half a million dollars!” Elisabeth shouted.
“You’ve already said that, Ellie, and although George has done some despicable things, I don’t think he would deceive Lydia in such a way.”
“Oh, please! He’s as bad as she is!” Tears were running down Elisabeth’s face, but she didn’t care if she wound up looking like Bozo the Clown at her wedding. It didn’t matter since she didn’t have a dress. “They both go around doing whatever they please, not caring who they hurt as long as they get what they want!”
“Just like you do!” Lydia shouted back.
“When have I ever done anything to you that’s been as bad as what you’ve done to me today?” Elisabeth demanded to know. “I’ve never destroyed anything that belongs to you.”
“Yes, you have!” Lydia screamed. “You destroyed my marriage before I ever really had a chance to make George happy! So I thought that maybe if I did something so that your marriage wouldn’t get off to such a good start, you’d know how it felt! That's why I really did it!”
Elisabeth stopped crying, completely confused. “You had no idea what George had done before I told you just now, and you said you didn’t believe me. How could I have destroyed your marriage?”
“Do you think I don’t know that George still loves you?” Lydia was now crying. “Because he does. He loves you in a way that he’ll never love me.”
Elisabeth scoffed. “Don’t be stupid. You’re trying to tell me you and George haven’t slept together? Because that’s all our relationship was. He admitted as much to me himself right before he walked out the door.”
“You don’t get it, do you? He left because he was scared of how he felt. He loved you but it terrified him, so he walked out and he’s regretted it ever since. He married me, but only because you were with Darcy. It’s why he embarrassed you when you met to discuss terminating his parental rights to Grace. You were with Darcy and he wanted to punish you for it.”
“He couldn’t possibly have known that Darcy and I were dating. We’d barely gotten together when the meeting was held.”
“I don’t know how he knew, but he knew.”
“What makes you so sure he still loves me?” Elisabeth remained unconvinced that he did, because she didn’t think he loved anyone but himself.
“What, are you fishing for compliments? He loves you. Isn’t that enough for your ego, or do you have to hear how men are so in love with you that they’ll do anything to be near you?” When Elisabeth didn’t answer, Lydia said, “Fine. I’ll tell you how I can be so sure he loves you. After we returned from the honeymoon, and I moved into his apartment, I tried to get into this drawer in his night stand. It was locked, so I asked him what was in it. He wouldn’t say anything. One day, I decided that I had to know what he couldn’t share with his own wife, so I picked the lock and I found the notes you wrote him.”
Elisabeth frowned. She had no idea what note Lydia was talking about. She’d written a few to George, but there wasn’t anything embarrassing about them, as far as she knew. “What notes?” Elisabeth asked.
Lydia gave her a scornful look. “You know which ones I’m talking about. The one on top was one you wrote after the first time you slept together. At least, I’m pretty sure that’s what had happened when you wrote the note. ‘My darling George, last night was the most beautiful night of my life. When I dreamed of falling in love, I never imagined it would be so wonderful. I never believed someone like you would ever notice me. For the first time, I believe I’m a beautiful woman, and it’s thanks to you.’ Sound familiar, or should I remind you of the second note, when you go into more detail about how much you love him and how you know he loves you?”
As Lydia spoke, a memory emerged from the day Grace had been born, and from that memory came a revelation about the notes in question. When it came to her, she started laughing----cold, angry, mocking laughter.
“You think it’s funny?” Lydia asked. “I’m sure you do. Everyone always loves you, Elisabeth, and no one ever loves me. Daddy loved you more than he loved me. Ma’s been spending all her time with you because of your stupid wedding. You’re marrying a gazillionaire in Darcy, but that’s not good enough for you. You have to have George’s heart as well!”
“Oh, Lydia. You stupid, foolish girl. You really thought George loved me all this time?”
“Who else has he been with in the past year? There was only you.”
Elisabeth shook her head. “He may have been with me a year ago, but there was another woman in his life before that. And as improbable as it seems to me, if what you’re saying is true, then...he’s still in love with her. Which means you destroyed my wedding dress for nothing.” Elisabeth sat down heavily on the bed, her body racked with sobs. “For nothing!”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m saying that George is still in love with Ginger, you nitwit! She’s the one he loved so much it scared him! She’s the one he walked out on without any explanation. She’s the reason he wanted to be at the wedding, so he could see her again. You had no reason to destroy my dress because I’m not the woman George loves.” And with that, Elisabeth turned away from Lydia and turned to her mother for comfort.