Section I, Next Section

Chapter One

Posted on Friday, 20 February 2004

Georgiana held tightly to her brother’s arm and watched carefully for the gaps on the dock, lest the heel of her shoes get caught again. The loud cries of the gulls circling overhead, mingled with the shouts of the men as they hoisted and hauled and carried the cargo off the ship added to the tumult and excitement of this wonderful adventure! She had never been on the docks before, had never really been allowed to accompany her brother on any of his business outings, and she was all too aware of his discomfort. She knew him so well. At this very moment he was probably chastising himself for letting Elizabeth talk him into taking her along. But then, she could always count on her dear sister to convince her brother of almost anything. He could not resist her methods of persuasion.

Georgiana’s eyes remained on the wooden slats, not only for the sake of her shoes, but to prevent her from catching the eyes of the men that grinned and softly mumbled comments as they passed. Her brother’s grip on her hand tightened and his expression darkened as they made their way up towards the Regalia. As they approached, three sailors resting on crates and noisily devouring fruit, began to snicker. And as one man rose, about to regale his friends with an amusing remark, Darcy turned and cast him a look that stopped the man dead in his tracks. He stiffened, bowed politely and clearing his throat, asked if he could be of some assistance.

“I’m here to see your Captain,” he growled. “And I hope to G-d those crates you’re sitting on contain the bolts of silk rather than the porcelain you’ve been transporting; for if one piece of it is broken there will be hell to pay!” he spat.

Georgiana kept her eyes down and swallowed hard. She knew her brother’s outburst had little to do with the sailor’s behavior, but that did little to alleviate her embarrassment. Fitzwilliam’s nerves were raw and easily strained. It was always like this when Elizabeth was feeling ill at the beginning of a new pregnancy. They had gone through it three times before and yet her brother’s anxiety for his beloved wife, especially when he was away from her, was extreme. In Elizabeth’s presence, he would do everything in his power to control his emotions, for he knew how much his so called over protectiveness distressed her. But away from her reprimanding looks, he was a powder keg ready to ignite.

“The Captain’s not on board, Sir, but I can take you to his second in command, if you like?”

“He’s left the unloading of my precious merchandise to an underling?” thought Darcy angrily. This news did nothing to mellow his mood. “Yes, take me to him at once,” he replied and followed the man carefully up the plank, supporting Georgiana’s every step.

When they reached the deck they were both astonished by the scene before them. No less than forty men were working feverishly at various tasks. Crates were being brought up from the hold, sorted, labeled, and stacked. Others were being repacked into smaller containers and weighed. Shipping labels were checked, changed and recorded as the situation warranted.

In the midst of all this confusion stood a young sailor in filthy britches and an equally grimy linen shirt, referring to sheets of billing, shouting instructions, and checking the contents of each crate before marking it and then noting it in his ledger. At first the scene seemed one of total chaos, but as Darcy watched and listened, he realized that this man was well organized and had things very well in hand. He let out a sigh of relief.

Georgiana was unaccustomed to seeing men in such varying degrees of undress and didn’t quite know where to rest her eyes. Some were actually shirtless, their perspiration trickling down their backs. But her attention was soon held by the bearing and magnetism of the seaman in charge. He was beautiful to look at --- tall, lithe and strong. His boyish good looks, though marred by several small scars about his cheekbone and chin, were united with an underlying strength of character that shone through his eyes. He had a calm and confident countenance, despite the commanding tone of his voice and the rough nature of his work. And his thick, glossy hair, curly and chestnut brown, was tied at the nape of his neck with a black ribbon. As he turned, the fine linen clinging to his moistened back revealed welts and scars that frightened and confused her. She lowered her eyes, more in pain than embarrassment.

Gauging the possible risk to life and limb by getting under foot in this situation, Darcy gestured to the seaman to come to him and watched as he impatiently made his way towards them. Polite, but obviously annoyed at being interrupted in his task, he gave Darcy a token bow and said, “I’m sorry Sir, no visitors are allowed on deck. This is a private vessel.”

“Yes,” said Darcy, rather annoyed himself, “I am well aware of that since I am the one who owns it!”

“I beg your pardon, Sir. And your name is….?” asked the seaman.

“Do you mean to tell me that you don’t know the name of the man who pays your wages?” barked Darcy.

“I certainly do, Sir, but I will not reveal it to any man who comes aboard this ship and claims to own it. I have a responsibility to protect my employer’s privacy as well as his interests,” he replied, taking a second to take in Georgiana’s sweet, discomforted face.

Darcy knew he had been bested and that his behavior had been unduly harsh. Straightening himself and taking a slow, conscious breath, he held out his hand to introduce himself. “You are absolutely right young man and I appreciate your discretion. I’m Fitzwilliam Darcy and this is my sister, Georgiana Darcy. We expected the Regalia tomorrow but heard at breakfast that you had docked just before dawn.”

“Forgive me Mr. Darcy, but as we have never met, I felt it prudent to be cautious. The Captain has gone ashore to see his wife and left me in charge of the shipment of the goods. The fabrics are now being sorted into more manageable quantities for shipping, as you can see. I know the blue and white porcelain is to go to your London residence. I checked it personally and every piece is in tact. My men repacked it most carefully and we have just loaded it onto the special coach you ordered. Is there anything else that I can help you with?”

“You can start by telling me your name, Sir.”

Horatio looked at Darcy and then at the exquisitely delicate beauty beside him. He had every reason to be proud of the admiration and respect that his name evoked, yet he wanted none of that here. For some reason, unknown even to himself, he was more comfortable with this humble role and his anonymity. “I have a ridiculously long name, Sir, so everyone simply calls me Mr. H. I’m at your service, Sir. Would you care to inspect the crates?”

“Actually, I would; but only the ones that are open. Do not trouble yourself with the rest. I am only curious to see the quality of the silk that I have received in exchange for my wool. Were you present when the trade was made, Mr. H. or did the Captain handle that on his own?”

Horatio led his guests over to a set of crates whose lids had not yet been nailed down, and said, “I was with him, Sir. I speak a little Chinese…..very little mind you, but enough to make our hosts feel more kindly towards us. The negotiations were very spirited, and I believe we…, that is, you, Mr. Darcy, made out very well.” Throwing back the lid of one of the crates and folding back the linen wrappings, he pulled out a bolt of lavender silk, embroidered tone on tone, for them to see. Miss Darcy’s eyes lit up and her hand automatically reached out to touch the fabric. Suddenly embarrassed, she withdrew her hand and lowered her eyes.

Horatio could not help but let out a gentle laugh as he held the fabric out to her. “Miss Darcy, it is for you enjoy, please, feel free to examine it. “

“We have been traveling, Sir,” she said softly without looking up, “my hands are not as clean as they should be.”

“Ah, well then I suppose I should not be handling it either,” he said, returning it to the crate before continuing. “There are so many subtle shades, Mr. Darcy, varying patterns and designs; why whole scenes are embroidered onto some! I think you’ll be very pleased.”

“Yes, and hopefully after the women in my family have taken what they want, I will still be left with enough to sell to help pay for this expensive venture,” chuckled Darcy.

But his mirth was suddenly cut short by the recognition of what was happening between the two young people before him. The look on the seaman’s face was one he recognized immediately. He was only too well acquainted with the feelings that produced it! And his sister’s eyes held a light in them that he had never before seen. He had escorted her to more balls and parties since she had come out into society than he cared to remember, but had yet to see her react to anyone the way she was responding to this young sailor! He had to get her off the ship!

Chapter Two

Posted on Thursday, 26 February 2004

Weary and filthy, Horatio pulled off his shirt and poured the cold water into the basin to wash. Not that he could get this grim off with a cold, wet rag. He braced himself for the chill and the pressure he would have to apply to remove even the top layer of dirt. What he would give for a long hot soak in a tub! He closed his eyes and remembered the luxuries they had enjoyed in China. How well they had been treated! It was not easy coming home to this filth and poverty. The room he had rented was small and dark, with communal bathing facilities only available between certain hours. The few times he had made it back from the Regalia in time, the number of people waiting to bathe sent him back to his room and the basin.

The war had brought him unexpected advancement in His Majesty’s Royal Navy, but with the peace, he was again reduced to lieutenant and was now receiving only half wages, while recuperating from his injuries and awaiting word of his next command. The navy surgeons had insisted that he take a six-month leave to allow his knee to heal properly and thankfully it no longer pained him, but he would always walk with that slight limp, stealing from him his commanding stride and diminishing him in the eyes of many.

Despite the commendations for bravery and the pretty speeches by his superiors, he was not at all confident of promotion in peacetime. He had been given command of his own ship and entrusted with highly secret intelligence when the necessities of war demanded it. Yet all his courage and notoriety on the high seas had not changed the reality of his life on land. “He had the gratitude and admiration of a grateful nation,” the newspapers had said, but that did not award him a commission or afford him better living accommodations. Depending on the Admiralty’s plans for his future, he might have some difficult decisions to make.

Some eighteen months earlier, he had left his new bride to carry out a mission on Admiral Pellew’s orders. He was to search for the missing sloop, The Grasshopper, and its Captain Bracegirdle, off the coast of France. On his return, he learned that Maria was expecting, and with this news, had found renewed hope for some happiness in his hastily conceived marriage. He had never felt anything more than friendship and gratitude for Maria; but she had needed him so desperately, and he, in turn, had been so alone in the world. A sudden, tender impulse had led him to propose and yet when doubt crept in, he had looked into her eyes and had known that he could not disappoint her. Naturally, his lack of passion for Maria made it easy for him to be away at sea, and he had certainly taken advantage of what he had called “his duty to King and Country”. Then tragically, Maria and the baby were taken from him, leaving him totally on his own again.

The offer to be second-in-command on a private trading vessel had come just in time. His knee was mostly healed and he still had months to idle away, waiting for word of his new commission. The financial incentive was there as well, for he had spent most of his savings on Maria’s funeral and was still helping to sustain his mother-in-law with half his monthly pay. Yet he now waited for Darcy’s banknote with strangely conflicting feelings. Of course, he had more than earned the money due him, but part of him wanted nothing from this condescending man. If only he could afford to indulge his pride.

He pulled off his boots and sank onto his cot. It had been an exhausting and aggravating day. Darcy’s arrogance and veiled threats had put him on the defensive and he chided himself for his weakness. He had long ago decided not to allow men like that damage his pride, yet he had no recourse in this situation lest he be willing to upset and embarrass Georgiana Darcy. His thoughts turned to her and the tension in his shoulders eased. What a sweet, beautiful creature she was! And what powerful feelings she stirred in him! He was ashamed to think that he had never felt for Maria, the kind of unnerving exhilaration that cursed through his body when he looked into Georgiana’s big beautiful eyes. He understood, of course, that he was never to know her; that she was completely out of his reach. Her brother had made that abundantly clear! Nevertheless, he fell asleep picturing her shy, sweet smile and imagining what it would be like to taste those lips.

He brooded all the way back to Pemberley. Sitting close to the window on one side of the carriage, while Georgiana gazed out the other, he thought of how little control was left him when gripped by this overwhelming fear. Women gave birth every day, it was true…, but not all survived. The thought of losing Elizabeth was…..it was unspeakable, unthinkable, yet it tortured him day and night. Three successful pregnancies should have brought him comfort, but they did not. To his mind, they had just been very lucky…. extraordinarily blessed; but each labor carried its own risks and each time he would simply have more to lose. And the worst of it was, he had to pretend that he had perfect confidence that all would turn out well. He could not further burden Elizabeth with his fears, nor could he share with her his willingness to stop having children to ensure her safety. But what was he to do, stop loving her?

He looked contritely in Georgiana’s direction, all too aware of the mess he had made of this trip. It was to have been a joyful outing for her, an adventure into the larger, less privileged world, to expand her understanding of it. His ill humor had spoiled it all and made her tense and silent. She had barely said three words to him all the way back from Plymouth and he knew he had to do something to repair the situation while they were still alone.

“Georgie, I know my temper has made this trip uncomfortable for you at times. I’m truly sorry.” He reached for her hand. “I was impatient and rude and I apologize. Sweetheart, can you forgive me?”

“I’m not the one who deserves an apology, Fitzwilliam,” she said bitterly, without turning her eyes from the window.

He was shocked that she would speak to him this way and make no attempt to ease the tension between them. He was about to offer more of an apology by way of an explanation of his feelings, when he thought the better of it. Obviously, there was nothing he could say at this moment that would soften her anger and disappointment.

Elizabeth rushed out to greet them as they stepped out of the coach, giving Georgiana a quick kiss on the cheek and placing a slightly more lingering one on her husband’s lips. “Hang the servants,” thought Darcy, and kissed her back most passionately. He needed someone to soothe the savage beast inside him. His entire body released the grip of tension that had held him these past few days as his senses drank her in. G-d, he was glad to be home!

In the few moments that it took them to enter house, Elizabeth had already sensed the awkwardness between them and made an educated guess as to its cause. Turning to face them as they removed their outer garments, she cocked her head to the side, bit her lower lip and gave them an arched look. “So, I can see the two of you have had a splendid time together,” she said.

Georgiana was quick to respond. Slipping her hand into the crook of her brother’s arm, she gave it a squeeze and said, “Yes, we did. We really did have a wonderful time. Only yesterday…, we had a disagreement over something minor, and we have just been sorting it out between us in the coach. Fitzwilliam has apologized and I have accepted and that is all. We are done with it. Isn’t that right, Fitzwilliam?”

Elizabeth tried control her amusement at her husband’s bewildered expression by biting harder on her lip, and finally finding her composure said, “Forgiven but not forgotten, I see.”

“No, you are wrong, Elizabeth. All is well. Now tell me, where are my little darlings? I have missed them so much!”

“They are enjoying a pony ride with their Uncle Edmund and Aunt Catherine, but should be in shortly.”

“Good, then I’ll change and be ready to play with them when they return.” She kissed her brother’s cheek and then Elizabeth’s before rushing up the stairs to avoid any further discussion.

Elizabeth and Fitzwilliam stood staring at one another until she took a few steps to close the gap between them and encircling her arms round his neck, asked softly, “So, how terrible were you?”

“Pretty terrible. Irritable, overbearing, rude! But my true crime goes much deeper. I think we have a real problem, Elizabeth,” he said most seriously. Then putting his arm around her shoulder, led her upstairs where they could talk in private and lavish affection on each other.

As he removed his coat and vest, she made herself comfortable in his chair by the fire. Kicking off her shoes, she lifted her feet onto the large ottoman they shared when reading or talking together in the evenings. She grinned playfully and wiggled her toes. This was a signal to him that she desired that intimate attention that came with a foot massage. He pulled at his neck cloth and finally managing to untie it, came to sit on the ottoman before her. He placed her feet on his lap and lovingly began his skilled ministrations.

“This is all about a handsome young sailor, Elizabeth. I think she’s infatuated.”

“But surely you were not aboard the Regalia for very long? How could she possibly form an attachment so quickly?”

“I don’t believe she has formed an attachment as yet, but I know she is curious, if not a bit bewitched. And to her mortification, her arrogant, overprotective brother swept her away before she could enjoy the flirtation. I believe this is the first time that I‘ve denied her something that she really wanted. She is furious with me; especially because I made it clear to this young upstart that he was not to look at her.”

“Fitzwilliam, you didn’t!”

“Of course, I did! Did you expect me to give him my permission? He is a sailor, Elizabeth, a common sailor! What could he possibly have to offer her? Yes, he is a good-looking man; that I admit, and that is precisely what she is attracted to. But I will not allow her to risk her future over a flirtation with a handsome sailor!”

“Well, hopefully, she will never see him again and forget about him quickly enough. I think it would be best not to make a fuss about it, Fitzwilliam, so please, do not lecture her about honor and duty. It will only inflame her more. Let it pass as quietly as possible. We have the Sandford ball coming up in a few weeks and the Jamison’s a week later. These parties should distract her and perhaps she will meet some wonderful young man who will erase any lingering regrets of this encounter.”

“I sincerely hope so, my love,” he said, lifting her off the chair and onto his lap. He caressed her cheeks and gently nibbling on her already swollen lower lip, murmured, “Now tell me how you have been feeling since I’ve been away.”

Chapter Three

Posted on Friday, 5 March 2004

Elizabeth looked at herself in the mirror and sighed. There was no way to hide her ever-expanding tummy. Deep inside, she knew that she was very beautiful when pregnant, but it was customary for a lady in her condition to complain about her figure, and there was no doubt that it was becoming increasingly difficult to find gowns that were flattering. She was at that awkward stage when she was not yet showing very much, and no one outside her family knew she was with child, but she was definitely getting thick around the middle and her swollen breasts made it impossible for her to wear the evening attire she already owned. So here she was, being fitted for some new gowns that would allow her to accompany Georgiana and Fitzwilliam to the next set of balls and parties of the Season. In truth, she would much prefer to stay at home, but she understood her husband’s dread of having to face alone, the fawning mothers of the anxious young men who were trying to gain his sister’s favor. And now that she was feeling well again, she could not deprive him of her company and support. Besides, she liked being able to put a face to the name of the man that Georgie was rejecting this week.

Georgiana was becoming impatient as the seamstress hurried off yet again to make some minor alteration. They had already spent two hours in this shop, and although she normally adored her shopping expeditions with Elizabeth, she was becoming tired and restless. “Elizabeth,” she said suddenly. “I did want to shop for a book for Fitzwilliam today and as it is getting rather late, I thought I might go to the book sellers next door and save us some time. You must be exhausted and quite ready to go home. If you come and get me when you are done here, we can be on our way that much sooner. Would that be all right?”

Elizabeth thought for a moment. She didn’t think that Fitzwilliam would not allow Georgiana to go into a shop unaccompanied, but the thought of having to stand on her feet, for even another half hour, while Georgiana chose a gift, was enough to convince her. “I don’t see why not, Georgie. I don’t think that this can take much longer, so try to find something quickly. I really am very weary.”

Georgiana kissed her sister and happily hurried out to start her search. When she entered the shop, the proprietor, Mr. Finley, was busy with another customer, but noticing her entrance, gave a quick nod and smile. The Darcys were such good customers and he always tried to attend them as quickly as possible.

Georgiana wandered over to the section that contained books on history and politics and began looking over the titles of the books labeled “new”. Retrieving a handwritten list from her reticule, she compared the titles written on it to the ones on the shelf. She was so intent on her search that she didn’t notice the admiring eyes that were closely following her every movement.

He had not looked up when the jingle of the bell had announced the entrance of another customer, but the rustling of her skirts as she came around the free standing stacks distracted him, and he looked up just in time to see her open her reticule and pull out a folded sheet of paper as she continued along the shelves. He slipped round the end of the stack and peered through a gap between volumes unnoticed.

“Don’t be a fool!” thought Horatio, “Darcy certainly made his feelings clear before he hurried her off the ship! If you approach her, there’ll be nothing but trouble,” He turned his back and focused again on the book in his hand, but his ears remained alert to her faint whispers as she read off the titles and the soft brush of her fingers as they swept along the books’ bindings.

“Ah, Miss Darcy, forgive me for neglecting you for so long. It has been such a busy afternoon. Pray tell me how I can serve you. If you are in this section, I assume that you looking to purchase a book for your brother,” said the proprietor.

“Yes, you are quite right, Mr. Finley. I am looking for anything on the Napoleonic campaigns that he has not yet read. Unfortunately, I believe that he already owns all the titles I see here. Is there anything new that you can recommend – something that perhaps you have not yet put out on the shelves?”

“Allow me to check a delivery that just came in today, Miss Darcy. I’ll only take a few moments. Perhaps we will be in luck,” he replied and excusing himself, hurried into the back room.

Turning to thank Mr. Finley, Georgiana noticed a tall gentleman with his back to her at the end of the aisle. There was something familiar about his stance and……yes, the long brown curls tied back in a black ribbon! It had to be him! The mere thought of him brought a deep blush to her cheeks and she turned away to hide her face, lest he turn and notice her. How confusing and disturbing these feelings were! She didn’t quite understand what happened to her whenever she thought of him; it was exciting and terrifying at the same time. She had the strongest desire to be close to him, to ………. My G-d, what was she thinking? She had to stop!

The shop proprietor returned with several volumes under his arm, but none were new to the voracious reading appetite of Fitzwilliam Darcy. Georgiana expressed her disappointment and was about to leave when Horatio stepped forward with his hat in his hand and an anxious grin. “Good afternoon Miss Darcy. Please forgive me, but I could not help but overhear your request for a book on the campaigns for your brother. May I be of service?” The warmth of his smile and the steadiness of his gaze intoxicated her.

He carefully scrutinized her countenance to see how she took his interference, and seeing her shy smile, continued more confidently. “I have recently read a novel written by a Spanish partisan, using a “nom de plume”, of course, about the Salamanca Campaign that I thought truly excellent. I believe he wrote it as a work of fiction for his own protection, but the story rings true to every account I have heard of it first hand. And, it is written from a Spaniard’s point of view, which provides a new and interesting perspective. It is called “El Mirador”. If you are interested in seeing it, I believe I noticed a copy displayed in the window.”

“Oh, that is just the sort of book I have been looking for! Yes, thank you Mr. H. I do so appreciate your kind suggestion.” She met his eyes for a brief moment, just long enough for him to recognize the tender feelings they betrayed. Deeply affected, he lowered his glance, afraid he’d be unable to conceal the depths of his own emotions and draw them into something they would not be permitted to continue. Georgiana saw his distress and turned away.

Mr. Finley found a copy of “El Mirador” and placed it in Georgiana’s hands. “I can’t imagine why I didn’t think of this one myself, Miss Darcy. My apologies.” Then turning to Horatio, asked, “Forgive me Sir, but I was led to believe that this book was released by the publisher only two days ago. Do you already own a copy?”

“Oh, I read the Spanish edition when it came out last year, Sir. I was very pleased when I saw it translated into English,” replied Horatio.

“Ah, I see. Well, thank you for the suggestion, Sir. On your passionate recommendation, I shall read it myself.”

Horatio nodded to the proprietor and turning to Miss Darcy expressed his hope that her brother would enjoy the novel. He bowed to her and slowly straightening, gave her a weak smile before retreating back into the stacks. She stood staring at him until Mr. Finley’s voice startled her out of her momentary reverie.

“May I wrap this for you, Miss Darcy?”

“Oh yes, thank you Mr. Finley. Please do. And please do not put it on our account. As it is a gift, I shall pay for it now.”

When Elizabeth entered the shop, Georgiana was at the counter paying for her purchase. She greeted Mr. Finley, who in turn, asked after her health and then asked to be remembered to her husband. Georgiana’s eyes were focused on her reticule, and she barely looked up at Elizabeth as she stood beside her. Lowering her head still further, so that her face was hidden by the brim of her bonnet, she took her sister’s arm and led her quickly out of the shop, only allowing herself a quick glance at the tall young gentleman who was watching her go.

Elizabeth immediately sensed that something was wrong, and thinking that Georgiana had suffered some embarrassment or worse, hurried her into the carriage. The coachman had barely closed the door when Elizabeth took hold of Georgiana’s hand and asked anxiously, “What happened in there, Georgie? Did that young man say anything improper to you? Did he upset you?”

“No, nothing like that! Please believe me; he was the perfect gentleman. He only…..”

“Only what, Georgie? Did he approach you? He had no right to speak to you!….. especially since you were alone. It was most ill mannered of him …..”

“Elizabeth, we are not strangers,” she interrupted. “We have been introduced. It is just that I know Fitzwilliam would not approve of my speaking to him. He only approached me with the thought of being helpful, I assure you. I was having trouble finding a suitable book and he made a wonderful suggestion. That is all.” She lowered her eyes and twisted the handkerchief in her lap.”

“Then why are you so distressed, Georgiana? It is obvious that meeting him has disconcerted you. And why do you think that Fitzwilliam would not approve of your speaking with him?”

Georgiana gave her sister an anxious look. “He is the seaman that was in charge of unloading the China silks. Fitzwilliam and I met him when we boarded the Regalia. But since my brother cannot abide any young man outside our circle smiling at me, he hurried me away and was unnecessarily rude to him! I must tell you that I was mortified, Elizabeth. Sometimes I wish I had never come out into society, for it has made Fitzwilliam so unreasonably overprotective.”

“Well, I certainly know what that feels like! But you do know that he has good reason to be concerned for you. There are many more unscrupulous men out there than we would like to believe. Besides, I do understand his disapproving of a sailor gawking at his beautiful sister. You cannot blame him for that, Georgiana,” she said sweetly, trying to tease a smile out of her.

“I understand his disapproval; I am not completely devoid of sense, Elizabeth. But there was no need to humiliate a perfectly amiable young man who was doing his best to please him. Mr. H. did nothing to deserve such treatment!”

Elizabeth stroked Georgiana’s hand sympathetically. She watched her face with concern, but said nothing; for there was really nothing to be said. It was obvious that Georgiana’s feelings for this young seaman were deeper than even she realized.

Elizabeth adored evenings like this. The children had gone to bed without a fuss, the servants had been dismissed, and the three of them were lounging comfortably in the music room. Georgiana was at the piano, playing for no one’s pleasure but her own, she was engrossed in a particularly good novel, and Fitzwilliam was sitting beside her, enjoying his new book. . Every now and then, he would respond to something that he was reading with a sigh, a gasp or an uncharacteristically rude utterance that would make both ladies giggle and exchange knowing glances. His reactions were rather amusing except that they were becoming more and more frequent and pulling her focus away from her story. She shot Georgiana a smile and a roll of her eyes, as he emphasized for the third time his awe and admiration for the men who fought these battles and survived the brutality of war with such dignity.

“Incredible!” he mumbled to himself, his eyes frantically eating up the next page. Then becoming even more animated, he bolted from his seat and cried, “Just listen to this!” and paced before them as he read,

“Rogers was brought back from his ordeal by two of the guards and dropped in a quivering heap before the shackles. He no longer cried out or even moaned, but trembled uncontrollably as they fastened his hands and legs, laughing unmercifully, and giving him one last kick to his ribs before leaving the cell. The sight of his welts and burns were terrifying enough, but it was obvious that they had broken his spirit, the spirit we had depended on to help us escape this very night. The men…..”

“Fitzwilliam, please…..” whispered Elizabeth, nodding in Georgiana’s direction with a pained and worried look.

“Forgive me; how insensitive of me. I shouldn’t be reading this to you. It is too painful to contemplate. I tell you Elizabeth, I cringe to think what my reaction would be in a situation like this. I cannot imagine having the physical strength, no less the emotional fortitude to survive such an ordeal! My G-d, we owe these men a debt we cannot begin to repay!”

Georgiana looked up from the keyboard to gaze at her brother. She had not told him of the help she had received in selecting the book that now so captivated him, and gratefully, Elizabeth had followed her lead. But suddenly shivering at the memory of Mr. H’s scarred back, and watching her brother’s passionate display, she wished that she had. She had never questioned Fitzwilliam’s wisdom or strength of character, but her mind was lately plagued by disturbing thoughts that cut to the core of her relationship with him. Just as children were stung by the realization that their parents were not all-knowing and good, so was she experiencing, at this late stage of her life, the painful recognition that her dear brother was not always right.

“Do you think that any of the crew members of the Regalia have fought in the war, Fitzwilliam?” she inquired.

“I suppose there may be some, though I doubt they would be free at this time to work on a private vessel, if they had. Certainly, none could have been officers of any rank, as they would have been reassigned by the Admiralty. No, these men probably hire themselves out to any captain who will take them. Although I’m sure there are some that have a personal loyalty to the captain and sail with him again and again.”

“When your book described the torture, I remembered the terrible scars I saw on…..,” she lowered her eyes to the keyboard, and bit her trembling lips.

“Those scars could also be the result of a flogging for disobedience, thievery, or any number of offences, Georgiana. Unfortunately, flogging is one of the ways the Navy maintains discipline. Wounds are not only inflicted by the enemy, you know.” The moment the words had left his lips, he was sorry he had uttered them.

Her brother’s implication had not escaped her and she struggled to remain composed. He thought her a naïve and romantic child for assuming that Mr. H. had received his wounds at the hands of the enemy! And he, on the other hand, had immediately concluded that he was a thief! Her anger made it difficult for her to breathe and she rose from the piano taking several measured breaths to calm herself. Then moving quickly towards Elizabeth, she kissed her good night, explaining that she was suddenly very tired and hurried from the room.

Fitzwilliam shook his head in disgust. How could he be so stupid! Forbidden fruit was always the sweetest and he had just dipped the man in honey! He looked up to see Elizabeth’s eyes closed and her brow furrowed in distress. “Damnation,” he thought. “Why was it that whenever he offended one of the females of his household, he had to first make peace with the other?”

“Elizabeth, I know that was uncalled for. I’ll go and speak to her. But please look at me, my love. I’m not as bad as all that, am I?”

“Oh, no Fitzwilliam; of course not! It is just that she is already so besotted, and you are pushing her straight into his arms!”

“Already so besotted? What makes you say that? Has she spoken to you about him?”

Elizabeth drew in a quick breath, as she realized her dilemma. She did not want to divulge Georgiana’s secret, but she would not lie to her husband. She bit her lower lip and looked at him anxiously. “Fitzwilliam,” she began slowly, as she came to stand before him, “There is something I must tell you…., something I should have told you earlier. They met a few days ago when we were out shopping together, but I assure you that their meeting was quite accidental.”

“Then they couldn’t have spoken long, and you were there to see what exchanged between them. How did he come to approach her?”

“I…I was not there, Fitzwilliam,” she said, trying desperately to keep her gaze fixed on his.

“You weren’t there? What do mean? You said you were shopping together.”

“We were, all afternoon. But Georgiana wanted to purchase that book for you and went next door to Finley’s while I dressed and signed for my purchases. We were just trying to save a little time. It was a mistake, Fitzwilliam -- that’s obvious now, but she was in the bookshop by herself for only ten minutes. I should not have let her go; I know that. Please do not be angry with her. I alone am to blame.” It was the first time in their five years together that she was afraid of his reaction. Not only had she been negligent in Georgiana’s care, but she had kept it from him as well.

He turned from her and strode to the mantle to collect his thoughts. The involuntary shaking of his head, his erratic breathing and the grim lines that framed his mouth were painful evidence of his attempt to control his anger. She braced herself for his reply and waited. Moment after moment went by and still he said nothing. His shoulders heaved as he exhaled loudly, but he did not turn or utter a word. When his silence became too much for her to bear, she quietly left the room.

She ascended the stairs to their apartment, suddenly unsure if he would want her in their bed. Trembling at the thought, she grasped the banister and turned, ready to run back down and force him to deal with her. But the silence that pervaded the house was unnerving and she stood transfixed for some time, unsure of where she belonged. Finally, she made her way slowly towards her own bedchamber.

She rarely entered it from the hallway and as she was about to turn the knob she was struck by the magnitude of what she was about to do. For five years she had shared her husband’s bed and only used her own for resting during the day. Her entering it alone for the night symbolized a painful change for her marriage. With her hand frozen on the knob, she broke into uncontrollable sobs and crumbled to the floor before the unopened door.

The unmistakable feel of his arm beneath her knees, drawing her up against his chest only intensified her weeping. But the sound of Georgiana’s frightened voice and the panicked entreaties of her maid caused her to try to stifle her fitful gasps and sobs. Fitzwilliam was sweeping her into their bedchamber, ordering everyone back to bed, while assuring them that he would see to his wife’s welfare.

Through a blur of tears, she saw Georgiana’s tear stained face just before he pushed the door shut behind him. “What have I done?” she thought, now even more frightened than before. “My outburst has terrified Georgiana and humiliated Fitzwilliam in front of the servants.” She dared not look at him as he lay her gently on the bed.

“Elizabeth, my love, sh…. it is all right now, I am here,” he soothed, searching her anguished face. He lovingly smoothed her now disheveled hair from her face and wiped her tears with his thumbs. “What has happened, Elizabeth?” he asked, his pale face and frightened eyes piercing her heart. He seemed totally unaware that his behavior had driven her to such misery. “Why were you at your bedroom door just now?” he asked, looking bewildered. Then suddenly, his countenance darkened as the answer came to him. “Where you leaving our bed, Elizabeth?” he asked in horror. “Were you going to shut me out tonight?”

“No, dear G-d, no! Never! But you were so angry with me that I was unsure that you wanted me…….” her voice trailed off.

“Not want you? Not want you in our bed? That is unimaginable! How could you even think it? I was upset, I grant you, but more with myself than with you, Elizabeth. What did I do to make you question my love for you?“

“Nothing! I didn’t question your love or devotion for one second,” she assured him hastily, “but…your silence Fitzwilliam --- you would not look at me or answer me and I was sure that you were blaming me for their unfortunate meeting. And to keep it from you -- when I knew how you felt about him – was inexcusable.”

“Oh my precious love, you misread me entirely. I was thrashing about some painful thoughts, with no regard to you. I’m sorry, so very sorry! I am not angry with you. You did nothing that both Mrs. Annesley and I have not done many times before. Finley’s would normally have been the safest of situations and you had no reason not to let her go.” He bent over to kiss her and looked lovingly at her face. “I would, of course, have preferred for you to inform me of their meeting, but I imagine that Georgiana begged you not to betray the confidence. I recognize that you are often in a difficult position between the two of us, Elizabeth.”

“No, Fitzwilliam you are wrong. She asked nothing of the sort. I simply took it upon myself to keep her secret. I feel so foolish and ashamed now for jumping to such conclusions. Why is it that after five years of such unquestionable happiness I can still misinterpret your moods? Please forgive me, Fitzwilliam, please. It is too painful when we are at odds with each other.”

“We are not at odds, my love. Are we? We both want what is best for Georgie and the truth is that we are equally powerless to help her achieve it. Ever since I whisked her off that deck, I have been plagued by the thought that I am turning into my aunt Catherine! I have questioned my motives, my prejudices – even my possible jealousy! But I always come back to the one simple truth that has nothing to do with rank or money or connections. He is a sailor. He loves the sea. And he will never be a proper husband to her because he will never be there when she needs him! That is what I was agonizing over just now in the music room.” He gazed beseechingly at her. “Am I so wrong to want for her the life we so enjoy? Where will he be when she labors to bring his child into the world? Or when his child has a high fever or …is learning to walk? And what of Georgiana herself? Who will sit beside her at dinner, or listen to her play her favorite sonata? How can he be right for her, Elizabeth? She will have to share him with the sea.”

“I know that, Fitzwilliam. And I think she knows it as well. She has said things that indicate she is not insensitive to this. Besides, aren’t you being a little hasty to think about marriage?”

“You didn’t see his face the moment her saw her. It was the same look I saw in my mirror whenever I thought about you,” he replied.

Stroking the curls on the back of his head, she drew him down to her and held him close. “Then you are certainly right about our being helpless,” she said softly in his ear. “For if she loves him just a fraction as much as I love you, there will be no logical or sensible reason that will keep her from his side.”

Fitzwilliam Darcy kissed his wife. He slowly undressed her, removed his own clothing and slipped into bed beside her. Settling in that place that brought him such comfort, he forced himself to remain awake until he heard the steady, peaceful rhythm of her breathing, and only then, allowed himself to drift off to asleep.

Georgiana lay in the same rigid position she had first assumed upon entering her bed. Her fear prevented her from relaxing even one muscle as she listened intently for sounds of further distress. The vision of Elizabeth sunk to the ground, her body racked by sobs and uncontrollable trembling, would not leave her. What had her infatuation for this man done to her beloved family? She did not know precisely what had passed between them, but surely she was to blame for the argument that had ensued. She had been a coward, leaving Elizabeth to answer for her behavior and probably much more. But what had her brother said to send his wife to her own bedchamber in such a state? Surely he had not…..no it was impossible! Had he not immediately carried her to their own room and tried to soothe her? Despite Fitzwilliam’s insistence that she return to her room, Georgiana had remained in the hallway once the door had closed, and listened to their muffled voices long enough to assure herself that Elizabeth was finding comfort in her brother’s care.

And now, with the house still again, she could finally focus on what it was she had to do. It was so simple really. She had to forget that he existed -- forget every tender thought she had ever had concerning him. For he was not a suitable match for her, even she knew that, and her interest in him was causing strife between the two people she loved most in the world. What did she really know about him anyway?

She felt a gradual easing of the tension in her back as she rolled onto her side and allowed her mind to drift back to that day on the Regalia. He had been left with the responsibility of repacking and shipping the cargo. Obviously the captain thought him a most honest and responsible man. He had clearly been the one in charge of the ship and crew and yet she had felt no resentment from the men under his command. The atmosphere had been friendly and respectful on both sides. He had helped with the negotiations of the trade, and spoke several languages. He was a reading man, with an interest in many things. The book that he had held in his hand at Finley’s was of a scientific nature, she had noticed.

But most importantly, he had an innate sensitivity for what was required at the moment, and with each person he was addressing. He had shown great patience, good manners and restraint when dealing with her brother, in spite of what he must have been feeling. His responses to her had always been warm and open, genuinely polite and more than respectful; caring, actually. He made everyone feel at ease, even Finley, when he was able to make a recommendation that the proprietor had not thought of. And unfortunately, he knew his place in society and accepted it; for had he not shown her that despite his admiration for her, he knew he had to acquiesce to her brother’s wishes? No, she knew nothing of him and he was not a suitable match. He was simply all she wanted. But she would have to forget him. The happiness of five people depended on it.

Chapter Four

Posted on Wednesday, 10 March 2004

Fitzwilliam Darcy stood over his sleeping wife, adjusting his cuffs and fastening the fob of his watch. He did not wish to wake her, but could not resist the pleasure of watching her sleep. He had made it a habit to finish dressing in their bedroom where he could gaze at her to his heart’s content. Of course she often awoke and rewarded him with a sleepy smile and outstretched arms that beckoned and made it exceedingly difficult for him to continue his routine. Most mornings he would take a long, strenuous ride and be back to breakfast with her before attending to business. But sometimes, an early morning business appointment would prevent him from enjoying her company until nearly noon and on these days he relished this guilty pleasure even more. Today was such a day. Especially after last night’s emotionally wrenching experience, he needed to linger a bit longer in her presence and reassure himself that all was still well between them.

He ached to kiss her, to stroke her hair, but she had been so drained, that he dared not take the chance of waking her. She needed to sleep for a few hours more. He would inform the staff and see to the children himself.

He gingerly closed the door behind him and made his way down the hall to the nursery. All three of his darling rascals were awake and jumping about in varying degrees of dress. Nanny was at the dressing table changing little Edward, while William and Emma were tumbling about on the cushions they had thrown on the floor to serve as a “lake”. “Papa! Papa!” they both shouted and came to latch themselves onto his legs in happy excitement. It was rare for them to see their father in the nursery before breakfast. It was usually Mummy that helped them finish dressing and took them down for their morning meal. As they ate, she would discuss the plan for the day, always enticing them with a little adventure after they practiced their lessons and tidied up their toys. “Have you come to play with us, Papa?” asked Emma.

“I have come to take you to breakfast,” said Darcy, scooping her up in his arms and kissing her ruddy pink cheeks. “Would you like to eat in the dining room with me this morning, like very grown up people?” Holding out his hand to William, his eldest, he announced to Nanny that he would meet her in the dining room as soon as the baby was ready. “No need to hurry. I’ll see that the highchair is moved in.”

The Darcys had decided on the occasion of William’s first birthday, that their children would learn dining room manners and conversation at the dining room table. Several times a week, they would all eat together, share stories or plan little outings as they taught William the proper way to hold his fork, or Emma her spoon, while dealing with the spills and chaos that the determined personalities of their brood created. Until recently, there had only been two to feed, for Edward had been nursed earlier and either slept or was held by Nanny so he could be in on the fun. But now that he was completely weaned, mealtimes were truly challenging. Totally convinced that he could handle a spoon as well as his brother and sister, Edward would not allow anyone to feed him, taking great pride in each tiny morsel that actually entered his mouth. At the end of the meal, he was still hungry and the household staff had a great deal to cleanup. “What could Master Darcy be thinking this morning, trying to feed all three with only two pairs of hands?” thought Nanny.

Breakfast got off to a very good start. William and Emma were having soft-boiled eggs and toast and managing very nicely. Darcy had to help Emma every now and then, but William, being four, was very independent; especially since he understood that his father would not stand for any nonsense. With things running so smoothly, Darcy felt comfortable enough to focus on a little conversation.

“Any special plans for today, William?” asked Darcy.

“Yes Father,” he said, spooning a bit of yolk into his mouth. “Pepper has had her litter and Mama said I should choose one puppy to give to Robert and another to give to Cousin Victoria when she comes to visit next week. It will be a very difficult decision to make,” he said very seriously. “I love them all so much already.”

“That will be difficult, I agree,” said Darcy, stroking the back of his son’s head. “But happily, you won’t be saying good-bye to them for ever. You see Robert rather regularly in London, and he is here at least for a month every summer. And the puppy you give to Victoria will really still be part of the family, don’t you think? After all, you see your Aunt Jane and Uncle Charles very often. Are you excited for their visit next week?”

“Well, yes…..and no,” he said, feeling a bit guilty.

“What’s disturbing you about their visit, William?” asked Darcy.

“Oh, I love their coming, but I don’t like sleeping in the nursery with Emma and Victoria. They are always whispering and playing silly girl’s games and dragging me into them. Can’t I please sleep with you and Mama when they come?”

“Darcy tried to appear serious in the face of his son’s dilemma. “I understand your problem William, and I am willing to strike a bargain with you. If you work very hard at your studies, and if I hear that you have been very good to your sister all week, I will allow you to invite Robert to come sleep with you in the guest room next to the nursery. What do you say?”

“Why do big brothers always have to be good to their sisters, when they are permitted to be terrible little pests. I don’t think it’s fair.”

“Well, girls need our love and protection, William, and besides, your sister will one day be your best friend, just as your Aunt Georgiana is mine.” At this point, Emma, who had been very busy picking at the shell of her egg and spreading jam on her toast with her finger, lay her little head on her brother’s arm and said. “William is my best friend now.” Darcy could not contain his chuckle as William rolled his eyes. Wiping Emma’s finger on her napkin, Darcy told her that William was blessed to have her as friend. This made her exceedingly happy.

“Were you always good to Aunt Georgiana when she was little?” asked William.

“I wish I could say that I was, but I’d be lying. I tried really hard to be nice to her but there were times that I lost my patience and was quite mean. I remember being very angry with her one day and tearing off all the hair from her favorite doll’s head.” William giggled, while Emma’s eyes got as large as saucers. “Oh it was no laughing matter. Your grandmamma had sewn that doll for her and I got a proper thrashing, I’ll tell you.” Darcy suddenly thought of the pain he had inflicted on his sister just last night, and felt his emotions getting the better of him. He took his son onto his lap and said rather soberly, “You know, William, the pain to my backside went away rather quickly, but the pain I felt in my heart when I saw how unhappy I had made my sister lasted much, much longer. She really loved that doll and I destroyed it. I carried around that terrible feeling for a long time.”

“But she forgave you and she still loves you, doesn’t she?”

“Yes, she does, and I love her more and more all the time. But it might not have turned out that way if my mother and father had not insisted that we learn to be kind to each other. Moreover, being her older brother, I had a responsibility take care of her, just as you have a responsibility to take care of Emma. And the time to start learning that is now. So, young man, do we have an understanding?”

“Yes, Papa,” said William rising to his knees on his father’s lap and hugging him. “Can I invite Robert today?”

“No,… if I get a good report from Nanny and Mama at the end of the week, you will be allowed to invite him then. Not before.”

“Papa,” said William most seriously, “I still don’t really understand. Why do we men have to be so nice to ladies?”

“Because, William, they are the source of all our happiness. We can’t really be happy without them. --- You love and need your Mama very much, do you not?”

“More than anything!”

“And one day, when you are a man, you will meet a lady that you love so much that you cannot live without her. And she will give you children and make you even happier. You see?”

“I suppose so,” said William, with a big sigh. “Can I go and see the puppies now? Mama isn’t down yet,” he said.

“Of course. Ask Robbins to take you to the kennels.”

“I’ll take him Fitzwilliam,” came Georgiana’s voice from the doorway. Darcy turned; shocked to see her there. From the look in her eyes he could see that she had heard at least part of the conversation and he wanted so badly to continue it with her. “Would you come and have a bite of breakfast with me?” he asked. I have an appointment at nine, but…”

“I haven’t seen the puppies yet,” she said, obviously wishing to delay the confrontation. “I’ll speak to you later, Fitzwilliam,” came her reply as she held out her hand to William.

Darcy nodded and lifted his son off his lap. He watched them go with regret, for he had wanted to clear the air early in the day and had hoped that she would be ready to accept his apology. He gathered up Emma, who had been patiently waiting for his attention and kissing her sticky fingers, asked about the sort of games she was looking forward to playing with Victoria. “Princess, of course!” came her reply. “And we need William to be the prince or the knight, but he only wants to be the dragon and chase us around the garden. Men are so difficult!”

Darcy could not help but laugh out loud, but a little pang of guilt urged him to ask, “Do you hear your mama say that often?” “Oh no,” said Emma, licking her spoon, “but Mrs. Reynolds and Alice and Mary say it all the time!” Darcy was relieved and kissed his daughter’s curls. She was spending entirely too much time with the servants.

The sound of Edward’s demands to be put down could be heard from the foyer. He burst into the dining room, and ran to his father’s side. It didn’t seem to matter that his sister was already occupying his father’s lap, he had to be on it too, and pulled on Darcy’s coat, while lifting his little leg and shouting, “Up! Up!”

Darcy gave Emma a knowing smile, “Men are difficult, aren’t they?” he said, transferring her back to her own chair. He picked Edward up and brought him to the highchair, securing the safety straps about his chest, despite his son’s indignant thrashing about. “Papa’s lap. I want Papa’s lap,” he complained. He was eighteen months old, extremely strong and agile and was finally speaking in, more or less, full sentences. Yet he still wanted his mother to carry him about, which was becoming more and more difficult, and Darcy knew he would have the hardest time of all the children accepting this new baby. He was just so used to being the “Prince Regent” of the family. Well, they would all have to be a bit firmer with him.

“Emma got to sit on my lap only after she finished her breakfast. Now it is time for you to have yours. Now be a good boy and……”

Darcy raised his head as Benson came into the room to announce the arrival of the captain. “Please show him to my study and tell him I’ll join him momentarily,” said Darcy. Benson took one step closer to his master and said, “Begging your pardon, Sir, but the captain wishes to speak to you before you begin your meeting. He is waiting by the entrance door, Sir.”

Darcy was a bit surprised, but nodded and rose from the table, wiping his hands and brushing off the crumbs Emma had deposited all over his clothes. Kissing both his children on the tops of their heads, he said, “I’m sorry children, Papa has a business meeting. But I promise to find you afterwards and give you a gallop through the garden, all right?”

Nanny immediately asked the footman to carry Edward, along with his high chair, into the children’s dining area in the kitchen. If the Master was not going to be with them, there was no point in allowing Edward to make a mess of the dining room. “Come, Emma, we will feed your brother below stairs.”

Taking long strides, and buttoning his jacket as he went, Darcy arrived at the door and greeted his visitor with genuine pleasure. “Captain Wentworth, I’ve been so eager to see you! Do come in,” he said, shaking the man’s hand with vigor. Wentworth smiled and bowed slightly, pumping his hand with equal enthusiasm.

“I was so sorry to have missed you in Plymouth, but I was most anxious to get home to my wife. I was sure you’d understand, Darcy.”

“Indeed I did. Everything went off very smoothly, despite your absence. You left an excellent man in charge,” Darcy replied.

Wentworth’s brows went up a bit at that comment, but he chose to keep his bewilderment to himself. “Mr. Darcy, I hope you will forgive the intrusion, but I have brought my wife with me today. She was hoping to get a glimpse of your beautiful grounds and gardens. Would it be all right if she wandered around a bit while we attend to business?”

“Naturally! It would be an honor to have her enjoy our home. Won’t you introduce me? I’m afraid my wife is not yet down this morning, but I will inform her of your arrival and I’m sure she will be most anxious to meet you and Mrs. Wentworth. Perhaps you can stay to lunch?”

“No, no! The last thing we wanted was to impose on you! But we have business in the neighborhood later on today and it was therefore necessary for her to come along to Pemberley. Please, do not trouble your wife.”

“You misunderstand me, Frederick. In town, Elizabeth has plenty of engaging female company, but here in the country, her friends are few and spread rather far and wide. She would adore meeting your wife and having some intelligent female companionship. Please, allow her the pleasure.” He led his guest down the stairs and towards the carriage, where a slender young woman, obviously with child, was just getting out to greet them. She had a sweet, pleasing face, not really pretty, but very expressive. Her eyes lit up as she smiled at the two handsome gentlemen approaching her.

“Darling, this is Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy, of whom you have heard so much about. Mr. Darcy, my wife, Anne Wentworth.”

“My pleasure, Madam. I’m so glad that necessity conspired to bring you to Pemberley today. My wife Elizabeth will be delighted to meet you. Please feel free to wonder about and come inside any time you tire or become overheated. I think it will be rather warm within an hour or two. I’ll arrange for refreshments to be made ready.”

“Thank you Mr. Darcy for your kindness. I would very much enjoy meeting Mrs. Darcy, but only if it is convenient for her. I understand you have three young children. She must be a very busy lady.”

“Indeed she is, but we are blessed with the resources to engage lots of help and she can usually free herself for guests. In any case, the wildflower garden is around to the left, the rose garden is on the other side of the house, and the path around the lake is very shady. I look forward to speaking with you later.”

Frederick Wentworth stepped towards his wife, kissed her hand and wished her a good stroll. He then turned and followed Darcy into the house. “So is everything in order for the final delivery of the silks to Denmark, Frederick?” asked Darcy.

“Yes, we leave for Copenhagen next week. It should be a fast, easy trip. The weather is wonderful this time of year and the sea calm. Anne is coming with me, in fact. We figured it would be her last chance to do some traveling before the baby arrives.”

“Aren’t you concerned for her safety aboard ship? I would think it risky for a woman in her condition?” said Darcy.

“Well, the fetus is floating in water; why not the mother,” he quipped. “No, seriously, Anne has always felt well on board, and she is so anxious to go that I cannot see any reason to deny her the enjoyment of it. In fact, I was going to speak to you about lingering in Copenhagen for a few extra days. There is so much to see and the weather should be perfect for rambling about. I’ll pay for the crew’s extra food, so it won’t cost you more than a few extra days moorings.”

“Frederick, don’t be ridiculous! I’ll be happy to pay the cost of a few extra days. I think it wonderful that your wife enjoys traveling with you and you should definitely take advantage of the opportunity to see Copenhagen. I hear it’s a charming city.”

“You should join us Fitzwilliam. Wouldn’t your wife enjoy the sea air? I know for certain that she would adore Copenhagen; quaint little harbor, magnificent castles, and exquisite little shops! She’d love it, and it would only be a ten-day excursion. What do you say?”

“Ah, so says the man with no children at home. No, thank you, Frederick. It sounds tempting, but Elizabeth would never leave the children.”

They had now reached the study door and as they entered, it was obvious that Darcy’s secretary had laid out all the accounts that needed their attention. They had a good few hours of work ahead of them. But first, Fitzwilliam wrote a short note to his wife and rang the bell for a footman to deliver it to her maid.

Elizabeth had awakened a half hour after her husband had left their bedchamber and had immediately rung for Alice to attend her. She had wanted a few moments alone with Fitzwilliam before he began his day, but that was obviously not to be. She hoped he would seek Georgiana out early, so that they could all feel more at ease after yesterday’s disaster.

The lingering distress it had created was evident on her maid’s face when she entered the room. She did not look her Mistress directly in the eye, but asked shyly if she was feeling better. Elizabeth rose from her dressing table and came to hold the girl’s hand. “Alice, I was very upset yesterday, over a silly, trifling matter that in the light of day seems even more ridiculous. I’m sorry if I frightened you and the rest of the staff. Believe me, I frightened my family and myself. But all is well now. Pregnant women sometimes get far too emotional over the smallest bit of nonsense. Please assure everyone that I am well, and that they needn’t walk on eggshells around me. I’d like to forget last night ever happened.”

“Yes, Madam,” murmured Alice, not at all convinced, but very happy to have her Mistress’s permission to answer the questions she had been dodging since the incident had occurred.

Elizabeth bathed, dressed, and having heard that her family had already eaten, had some tea and toast before heading up to the nursery to begin her day.

When Alice came in, she was seated on the floor, with Edward cuddling in her arms and Emma seated beside her, tracing large letters in colored chalk on her tablet. At two and nine months, she had better control of her writing instruments than her brother and loved drawing and writing. Learning to form her letters correctly was one of her “lessons” and she gave the task her complete focus. Remembering the names of the letters was another matter. “Say the name of the letter as you write it, darling; it will help you remember it,” urged Elizabeth.

Elizabeth smiled as she took the folded note from Alice’s hands. Her smile widened as she read it and she turned to inform Nanny that they would be going out for a walk in about fifteen minutes. Could she please get the perambulator ready? She encouraged her little daughter to write a few more letters on her own and then read her the short story she had been promised. “You have done very well today Emma,” said Elizabeth hugging her close and lavishing tiny kisses on her delicious little neck. “Papa will be very pleased. Now come put on your walking shoes and get your bonnet. The sun is very strong today. We have a visitor waiting for us in the garden and we must hurry out to meet her.”

Anne Wentworth was coming out of the rose garden when she saw the little caravan approaching. What a lovely picture they made. Mrs. Darcy was certainly a beauty and her daughter looked just like her; dark curls, a pert little mouth and sparkling eyes that seemed to dance when she smiled. She had heard that Darcy had married a woman outside of London’s fashionable society, that he was deeply in love with her and that he had been willing to risk banishment from his family to have her. She could now understand why.

“Mrs. Darcy, how good of you to come out to meet me. I’m Anne Wentworth.” She curtsied politely and smiled at the children.

“Mrs. Wentworth, it is very nice to meet you. Allow me to introduce Emma and Edward. Please say good morning, darlings.”

“Good morning Emma; Good morning Edward. I’m very glad to meet you. I noticed some lovely swings in the wild flower garden. Do they belong to you? I wanted to take a swing, but I thought I better ask permission first,” she said, bending down to take their hands.

“You can use the big swing,” replied Emma very seriously. “That’s the one Mama swings on when it’s dark, and she and Papa go out to play.”

“I see,” said Anne, blushing a bit, and hoping that she didn’t embarrass her hostess too much. But Elizabeth Darcy just laughed. “There are no secrets at Pemberley, since Emma has learned to talk.”

“Would you like to walk part way around the lake, Mrs. Wentworth? We can turn back at any time and it is quite shady on the path.”

“I’d love to. It has been so long since I’ve enjoyed a stroll in this kind of deeply wooded country. I grew up at Kellynch Hall, my family’s home in Somersetshire. Since I’ve been married I’ve been to any number of beautiful places, but none of them give me the sense of peace and calm these woods do. I’ve missed them.”

“Where do you now reside?” asked Elizabeth as she led them through a dense arbor that shut out most of the sun.

“We rent a little flat in Plymouth, since my husband usually sails from there; but mostly we have lived aboard ship, sailing from one destination to another,” she said.

“Elizabeth was astounded. “You mean you live on board, day after day, on the sea,…. with the crew?”

Anne laughed. “It sounds like madness, doesn’t it? But I love it! I grew up in such a quiet and confined environment that I was truly eager to see new places and experience new things when I finally had the opportunity to do so. My husband’s accommodations on board are really very comfortable and one adjusts to certain inconveniences if one wants to. Have you ever traveled aboard your husband’s ships?”

Elizabeth was stunned by the question. “No, actually, I’ve never set foot on them. The idea has never occurred to me, but I suppose that is because my husband hasn’t done any traveling either, -- since our marriage, that is. It does sound like a wonderful adventure though.”

They strolled along in this easy way for almost an hour, getting to know each other and beginning to appreciate each other’s unique qualities. They both recognized the intelligence and simple good nature of the other, and secretly hoped that their acquaintance would turn into friendship.

Having grown up in a house full of women, and having had the freedom to go to town, at will, to see her relatives and friends, Elizabeth still found it hard to be so socially isolated. She missed Jane terribly, and although they visited for a few days each month, it did not make up for the daily talks and shared confidences they so cherished. She saw Emily Witherbee now more than she had before her marriage, but it was only when the family came for their summer holiday at Pemberley that she felt she had a good friend near by. Anne Wentworth would make a nice addition to her limited circle of friends, but then, Plymouth was very far away.

Elizabeth Darcy was the most charming and intelligent woman that Anne had ever met. She was sensible and unpretentious, genuinely warm and amiable. What she would give to have her live within a reasonable distance and be able to call her friend. Frederick was everything she had hoped for in a husband, and their life was rich and exciting, but now with the baby coming, she longed for a comfortable home and more of what she considered good company. Elizabeth Darcy was definitely good company.

The summer heat was making the little ones irritable and Elizabeth knew she had better turn back before Edward had a crying fit. “I’d like to stop a moment, Mrs. Wentworth. I’m just need to wet my handkerchief to cool the children off.” And having said that, she lifted the hem of her dress and stepped to the water’s edge to soak the cloth in the lake. When she returned, she wrung it out a bit and wiped Edward’s face, and then Emma’s, before starting off again. Anne watched her with admiration. This devotion, this sensitivity and attentiveness to her children’s needs was rare in a lady of Elizabeth Darcy’s wealth and standing. She could have left them with the nanny, but she obviously loved their company and took her responsibility to them most seriously.

As they approached the great lawn, they could see the servants setting out refreshments in the Gazebo under the shady oaks, and headed that way. Emma suddenly found the energy to run towards Mrs. Reynolds, who mopped her brow, and sat her on her lap to drink her lemonade. By the time Elizabeth and Anne arrived, Emma’s eyes were closing.

“Well, now you are stuck, Mrs. Reynolds,” laughed Elizabeth, sinking into a chair and pouring a glass for Mrs. Wentworth. She lifted Edward onto her lap and held the glass while he sipped and blew bubbles in the cool liquid. When he had had his fill, he wriggled free and ran towards his brother, who came running towards them with a puppy in his arms and his aunt Georgiana by his side.

“Georgiana,” called Elizabeth, “come and meet Mrs. Wentworth. Captain Wentworth commanded the Regalia to China, but I don’t believe you met him when you went to Plymouth. Mrs. Wentworth, my sister, Georgiana Darcy. Georgiana, meet Anne Wentworth.”

“How do you do, Mrs. Wentworth. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” said Georgiana, coming to sit next to Elizabeth and eying her closely. She had not seen her since the night before, and was still very anxious about her. Was Elizabeth blaming her for creating the discord that had driven her to such an emotional state?

Anne noticed Georgiana’s uneasiness and decided to focus her attention on the one member of the Darcy clan that she had not yet met. “Well, now I have met everyone except the two of you,” she said to William. “I’m Anne Wentworth. Will you tell me your names?”

“I’m William Darcy and this is …… I haven’t named her yet. But I have to take care of her because she’s a girl and all her brothers are being terribly mean to her,” he said, petting the weak little creature. “They don’t let her get any milk and they bite her all the time! -- Mama,” he said, now turning towards his mother, “Aunt Georgiana says I can try to feed her milk from a wineskin and she might get stronger. Can I please take care of her? Please! She needs a good big brother.”

“It is a big responsibility, William,” she said, kissing his cheek and stroking his perspiration soaked hair out of his face. “Once you begin, you can’t stop or she will surely die. You will have to keep her away from her brothers, as well, for they will resent her and attack her if you leave her unprotected. Are you prepared to do all that for weeks and weeks? There is also a chance that she may not be strong enough to take the milk anyway, and you may lose her. That will be very painful, William.”

William stared at his mother for a very long time. “I think I have to try, Mama. It wouldn’t be right not to try and help her.”

“All right then, my love. Take her into the kitchen and ask cook to help you. I’ll come in later and see what I can do, as well.” She kissed his brow and sent him off, blinking back the tears she preferred him not to see. He took a few steps past Mrs. Reynolds holding Emma, then turned back and kissed his sleeping sister on the cheek before running off toward the house.

Anne Wentworth covered Elizabeth’s hand with her own. “You have an exceptional family, Mrs. Darcy.”

“Thank you,” murmured Elizabeth, reaching for Georgiana with her other hand.

“Georgie,” she said suddenly, in a much lighter tone, “you won’t believe this, but Mrs. Wentworth has sailed all over the world with her husband and says she adores living on board ship!” …… As soon as she realized what she had said, Elizabeth turned white. She had wanted to change the subject to something light and interesting, but had chosen the absolute worst thing to say! She would not utter another sound for fear of what might come out of her mouth!

“Oh, I would love to hear all about it,” said Georgiana, trying to ignore Elizabeth’s distress. “You must have many wonderful stories to tell.”

“Yes, I do, but at the moment, I am terribly excited about our short trip to Denmark to deliver your brother’s silks. We are hoping to stay a few extra days in Copenhagen before we return. I have heard it is a beautiful city, with warm, friendly people, lovely shops and cafes along the water’s edge.” Here Anne paused and thought how wonderful it would be to have such lively traveling companions, but it was not her place to suggest it.

Georgiana, however, made the mental leap immediately and did not hesitate to express it. “Elizabeth, wouldn’t it be exciting to take such a trip!” Why don’t the three of us go along? It is such a wonderful opportunity!”

“Georgie,” began Elizabeth, inwardly trembling, “Fitzwilliam and I couldn’t leave the children. Besides, your brother would be too nervous; he would never approve such a plan. I know it sounds heavenly, but it is not possible.”

“Elizabeth!” Georgiana said in an exasperated tone, “Jane and Charles are coming next week with Catherine and Edmund. Emily and Thomas will be here as well. Between Nanny and all the family, don’t you think the children will be well looked after?”

“But that is just the point. We have guests coming. What kind of hostess leaves her guests to care for her children?”

“If Jane told you that she had the opportunity to take an exciting trip, would you be willing to care for her children for a few weeks?” asked Georgiana. Elizabeth did not answer. “Of course you would! And you would do the same for Emily. In fact, you have done it already. These people love you, Elizabeth. They would be happy to help make such an adventure possible. And as far as the baby goes, Mrs. Wentworth is going, and she is farther along than you are.”

“Georgiana!’ whispered Elizabeth, embarrassed for herself and Mrs. Wentworth.

“Please forgive me Mrs. Wentworth. That was rude of me. I only wanted to point out to my dear sister that she is being unduly cautious.

“There is no need to apologize,” said Anne, feeling rather uneasy. “But I’m afraid that I am causing a problem here and that was certainly not my intention.”

“There is only one problem, Mrs. Wentworth, and I know how remove it. I will stay home to help care for the children, Elizabeth. You and Fitzwilliam go alone. It will be your last chance in a long while to take a trip so unhampered. Besides, it would do you both good to have some time together. I shall speak to Fitzwilliam about it.”

“Georgiana don’t, please. You’re coming along is not the problem, but my pregnancy is. Fitzwilliam will not allow it. You know that yourself. Now let’s drop this subject and talk about something else,” Elizabeth said, her eyes pleading for Georgiana’s cooperation.

Having finally accounted for every penny spent and having worked up the figures that happily, posted a nice profit, the gentlemen rewarded themselves with a tall, cool drink and stretched out on the sofa to discuss their next venture.

“So the next voyage will be to South America again, Fitzwilliam?”

“Yes, I thought we might bring back some llama and alpaca wool, as well as some of the animals to see if they can survive this climate,” said Darcy.

“I am at your disposal for another two months, and then I must beg leave, Fitzwilliam. I must be home for Anne’s confinement and labor, so we’ll have to work out the timing rather carefully, I’m afraid. If that does not meet with your timetable, then perhaps it would be best for you to find another captain for that journey. I wish to remain at home with her for about three months – until we know that the baby is strong and healthy and that Anne can manage on her own.

I completely understand your desire to do so and applaud it. You can leave shortly after you return from Denmark, or you can postpone it until you are ready to sail again. I have no timetable, Frederick.”

“Excellent! Then I shall see how Anne feels when we return from Denmark and decide then,” said Wentworth. Taking another long drink from his glass, he settled back and observed Darcy. Dare he bring up Horatio’s cause with his employer? He had no right to do so, for Horatio had specifically asked him to continue the charade and say nothing of their talk. But Frederick Wentworth knew what it was like to be rejected and despised by the family of the woman he loved and felt it his moral obligation to stand up against the prejudice navy men so often faced. “I wish you would reconsider sailing with us next week. I don’t think you could find a better time of the year to be at sea.”

“As I said earlier, Elizabeth would not be comfortable leaving the children, and frankly, I am not too keen on taking the risk. You see Elizabeth is also with child and I worry about her.”

“I understand that. Anne’s doctor had to give his approval before I consented to take her. I thought, perhaps, that there might be another reason for your reluctance to come aboard ship; one that had to do with a particular young crew member of mine.”

“Darcy’s features darkened. He drew himself up and strolled to the window, staring out for some time before replying. When he finally turned, his countenance was grim. “So he had the need to share that with you, did he? I really don’t see that our encounter was anyone’s business but our own, Frederick. It was an issue between the two of us; it had nothing to do with the ship or the business.”

“Do not be uneasy, Darcy. The man simply felt it his duty to inform his captain that their employer left the ship in distress. He was concerned that he had offended you, which was definitely not his intension. He is a good man, Darcy. Don’t take offense at his confiding in me. When you spend so many lonely months at sea, and find an intelligent, good-humored man to talk to, you often get very close. He may be ten years my junior, but he is one of the best men I have ever known.”

“I saw for myself how effective he was with the men and how well organized and efficient he was in dealing with the merchandize. He is also obviously of outstanding character, or you wouldn’t trust him and depend on him as you do. But I look at him through different eyes, Frederick. I see him from the point of view of a loving brother and guardian, concerned for the happiness of his sister. He is a seaman who is away from home at least eight months out of the year. That is not the sort of life I wish for my sister and I don’t think I should have to apologize for it… But the truth is, it is not my decision to make. I will not stand in her way, if it comes to that; but neither will I encourage her. So, no, Frederick, I am not rejecting the idea of the trip because of your famous Mr. H!”

“I am glad to hear it. I hope you do not resent my interference in the matter, but it is a rather sensitive issue with me, since Anne and I were separated for eight long years because of her family’s disdain for me, … not their loving concern for her. There is no doubt that the life of a seaman’s wife is difficult and lonely. As I am now older and have made my fortune in the war, I have the luxury to be retired from the navy and take on assignments as they suit me. I understand your apprehension, Fitzwilliam.” Stretching out his hand, he said, “I hope there are no hard feelings.”

“None what so ever, Frederick,” replied Darcy shaking his hand. “But I ask you not to inform him of what was said here today. I will not have him believe that he has my blessing, for truly he does not. If Providence brings them together, I will have no choice but to accept them. But I want no interference from either side. Can we agree to that?”

“Absolutely! You have my word,” said Wentworth.

“Come, let us join the ladies then. I think we are just in time for lunch,” said Darcy.”

As they made their way down the stairs, Wentworth brought up another topic. “Fitzwilliam, what do you know of the Fairfield Estate about six miles east of here? Anne and I are going to look at it this afternoon. We are in the market for a country home.”

“That is excellent news! I think it’s high time you had a comfortable home of your own. I don’t know very much about Fairfield, but my steward would know, I’m sure. I’ll have him look into it in a discrete way and let you know. If you like, I can also inquire if any other properties are being quietly offered. What made you consider this neighborhood?”

“Anne loves the countryside and I can see the advantage to raising children in an area such as this. We are not set on Derbyshire, but as our agent had a property for us to view here, we thought we would take the opportunity to see what it offers.”

“Then you must stop here on the way back and dine with us. Where do you plan to spend the night, Frederick?”

“We have a room reserved at the Lambton Inn. It has very comfortable accommodations. But if Anne feels up to it, dinner would be an honor and a pleasure. Thank you!”

They reached the Gazebo just as the ladies were leaving it. After introducing Captain Wentworth to his wife and sister, Darcy put Edward onto his shoulders, and the captain offered to carry Emma back in his arms. As they walked, both gentlemen sensed that their wives were a bit uneasy. Had they been uncomfortable in each other’s company?

At lunch, the ladies seemed to regain their lively dispositions until Darcy brought up the subject of the upcoming Copenhagen trip. “Mrs. Wentworth,” he began, “I am delighted to hear that you will be accompanying your husband to Denmark. From what I have heard of its capital city, you can really anticipate an enjoyable time. I understand that the harbor is extremely picturesque and that Rosenberg Castle is now open to visitors. You should definitely see it.”

To Darcy’s bewilderment, Mrs. Wentworth lowered her gaze and murmured a simple, “Thank you for suggesting it, Sir.” His own wife quietly put down her fork and stared at her plate.

Georgiana, however, seemed eager to join in the conversation. “We were discussing it earlier Fitzwilliam, and I suggested that you and Elizabeth take the trip, as well. There will be more than enough family and staff to care for the children, and the two of you have not been on holiday since William was born. I know that Elizabeth would love to go. She has never been at sea.”

“I never said that I wanted to go, Georgie. I only said that it sounded like an exciting trip,…which, of course, it is.” Elizabeth gave her husband an anxious little smile and picked up her fork, pretending to be interested in her food.

Darcy didn’t know what to make of the tension that had suddenly descended on their pleasant meal. Was Elizabeth envious of Mrs. Wentworth’s travels? It was true that he had never even taken her on a wedding trip. Their only travels had been between Pemberley, London and Hertfordshire, which he knew was shameful, for a man in his position. But he selfishly never needed the excitement of travel. Everything he needed and wanted was here at home. Perhaps Georgiana was right. Perhaps he owed his wife a bit of diversion before she was again burdened with the demands an infant. “Well, actually, Frederick brought it up as well, and I told him that you wouldn’t feel comfortable leaving the children, Elizabeth. But perhaps we should give this some serious thought, you and I.”

She nodded, more to encourage the conclusion of the conversation than in true agreement. “Why don’t we discuss it later,” she urged. He understood her meaning and bringing her hand to his lips, kissed it and said, “Yes, we’ll do that.”

Captain Wentworth understood that a change of topic was in order and turned to his wife. “Anne, Mr. Darcy has offered to look into the value of the Fairfield Estate, and to keep an eye out for other suitable properties. That should be a great help to us, I should think.”

“Oh, that is very kind of you, Mr. Darcy. I do love this county and would dearly love to live here.”

Elizabeth suddenly snapped out of her pensive mood and eagerly inquired, “Are you looking for a home here then? You didn’t mention anything about it on our walk, Mrs. Wentworth? It would really be lovely to have you as neighbors. How very exciting!”

“Thank you so much for saying so, Mrs. Darcy. I would be so pleased to settle nearby. I would dearly love to have you as a neighbor and friend.” Anne blushed for being quite so forward, but somehow felt that she had nothing to fear from these warm and accepting people.

“Well, you’ll be able to report back to us at dinner, Mrs. Wentworth,” said Darcy. “Perhaps the Fairfield Estate will be to your liking.” Then turning to his wife, he said, “The Wentworths are staying in Lambton tonight, Elizabeth, so I invited them to come back and dine with us this evening. Forgive me for not informing you earlier.”

“That is wonderful, Fitzwilliam,” and turning her attention back to Anne, said most earnestly, “I look forward to hearing your impressions of the property then.” She raised her glass and added, “I’d also like to propose a toast to your good luck in finding the perfect home.”

Chapter Five

Posted on Wednesday, 17 March 2004

The Wentworth’s coach departed and Elizabeth suddenly felt the full impact of the morning’s tensions descend on the neck and shoulders. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, needing the solitude and comfort of her bedchamber. Fitzwilliam would want to talk about the trip and Georgiana would try to pressure her, but she was not prepared to take that on just yet; all she wanted was her bed and an hour or two of quiet in a darkened room.

“I think I will take an afternoon nap, Fitzwilliam. This morning’s heat has worn me out.” Taking his hand and holding it against her cheek, she gave him a tired little smile and offered, “I’ll be as good as new after a little rest.”

“Are you sure you are well, Elizabeth; you’re not dizzy are you?” he asked in concern, slipping his hand round her waste to support her up the stairs. “No, Fitzwilliam, I am well, just tired and overheated. You needn’t come up with me. I’m fine.” He withdrew his hand, a little stung by her rejection of his support, and tried to accept it as nothing more than a symptom of her fatigue.

She ascended the stairs, turning to look down at him when she reached the landing, and sent him an almost imperceptible kiss that quieted his heart. She smiled, seeing his features change and continued to her room.

Once inside, she let out a deep sigh of relief and sank into a chair to remove her shoes. She often rested on her bed fully clothed, taking a book with her to give her an hour of escape and relaxation, but today she couldn’t wait to undress and remove her confining corset. She wanted to feel the cool sheets against her skin and stretch out in unrestricted comfort. The world was pressing in on her and she needed these simple pleasures to help her regain her equilibrium.

She slipped on a thin cotton gown, the coolest she owned, and got into bed. How heavenly to let the weight of the world down on the pillow. Her breathing slowed as she closed her eyes and let her thoughts drift. She thought of William with his puppy,… Anne Wentworth’s gentle manner,… Georgiana’s stinging remark about staying home to care for the children,… her brainless remark! Anxiety crept back into her heart and she tossed about nervously. She suddenly needed Fitzwilliam. Where as fifteen minutes earlier, she had wanted to avoid any discussion of the trip or Georgiana’s infatuation with this seaman; she now needed to unburden her heart. She could not bear the thought that she had done something to make this Mr. H. and his way of life, even more desirable to Georgiana.

She rang for Alice and went to her writing table to write a short note. “Please, Fitzwilliam, come talk to me.” She handed Alice the note with instructions for tea to be sent up as well and then slipped back under the sheets.

It was Fitzwilliam himself who brought in the tea. He set down the tray and came to stand over her, looking puzzled and worried. She lifted the corner of the sheet, inviting him in. “Will you come lie down with me, Fitzwilliam? I want to talk to you and I’d love you to hold me.”

“Of course, my love.” He quickly undressed and slipped in beside her. Cradling her in his arms and kissing her lavender scented hair, he patiently waited for her to begin. He had known that something unsettling had happened that morning and at first, had thought it related to Mrs. Wentworth’s visit; but now he was sure it was a family matter, for Elizabeth was truly upset.

“I said something to Georgie this morning that was unbelievably stupid! Moreover it has stirred up more bad feelings and I…I just don’t know what to do!”

“What is it that you said? It couldn’t have been all that bad,” said Fitzwilliam, stroking her hair.

“I was just trying to make light conversation when I thoughtlessly told her that Mrs. Wentworth has sailed all over the world with her husband and truly enjoys living on board ship; as if it is the most natural and wonderful thing in the world! Can you believe it? I couldn’t believe it myself when I heard the words come out of my mouth! Oh, Fitzwilliam, I have no idea what possessed me to say it!”

Fitzwilliam Darcy broke out in fit of laughter. Hugging her to him and kissing her brow again and again, and chuckled, “You have made me a very happy man, Elizabeth!”

“What do you find so amusing, Fitzwilliam? This is a terrible situation!” cried Elizabeth.

“That may be true, my love, but at least I’m not the only one who can cause problems with a ridiculous blunder! I feel much better now about yesterday. You see, you always manage to make me feel better, one way or another,” he said, and continued to laugh.

“Be serious, Fitzwilliam! Georgiana desperately wants to go on this trip, but is now playing the martyr so that we will go. We will be the villains no matter what we do! If we don’t go, she will always believe it was because we wanted to keep her away from him, and if we take her up on her offer to stay with the children, she will put up a good charade, but will be terribly resentful.”

“Then, I suppose, the only sensible thing to do is to take her along,” said her husband.

“Take her along? Are you mad? They will be together day after day and ……”

“And perhaps she will become disenchanted. She doesn’t really know him Elizabeth. Her infatuation is with her own romantic imaginings of who he is and how he behaves. There is no doubt that we run the risk of losing her to him, but on the other hand, maybe reality will be a great eye opener. She is a very sensible young woman, my love. She will soon see that life aboard ship is a bit wearing after the novelty of it has died away. The real question here is whether or not you would really enjoy such a trip. Do you think you will feel physically well on board? I’m concerned about seasickness for you. You’ve only just gotten control of your stomach again.”

Elizabeth was silent for a several minutes, for husband’s response had truly shocked her! She had underestimated him yet again. How truly intelligent he was; how sensitive and insightful. But, of course, it could go either way, and only hindsight would label the plan clever or ridiculous. “Are you prepared to accept anything that happens, Fitzwilliam? We might be opening Pandora’s box.”

“It has been open for some time Elizabeth. This is not going to go away on its own unless he gets shipped off to some far away place for twelve months or more. And what is the likelihood of that? Yes, I am prepared to accept the consequences of their being together. At least we will all learn more about him and be able to discern his true suitability for her as a husband.”

She lay quietly against his chest, allowing all he had said to penetrate her mind. When she finally spoke, her voice had the playful, teasing tone he loved so much. “It would really be lovely to be away on our own for a while. No sticky little fingers pulling on us for attention, no tantrums or fits over meals and scraped knees. Do you feel comfortable leaving them, Fitzwilliam?”

“I believe Emma and William will consider it great fun to have the house full of relatives and friends. William will have Robert to play with, and Emma, Victoria. Surely they couldn’t get better care than from Jane, Catherine and Emily. Mrs. Reynolds and Nanny will be here to help. It is only Edward who may suffer a bit in the beginning. But little ones are so resilient and you know how he adores Jane!”

‘Yes, I agree with you. It is never easy to leave one’s children, and I don’t think we will ever get a better opportunity than this. Shall we really do it then?” she asked, with impish grin. “Shall we really take a holiday?”

“Indeed we shall, Mrs. Darcy. I would love to take you traveling! We should consult with your physician, of course, but barring any objections from him, we will sail next Friday.”

She suddenly felt her anxiety melt away as her mood changed and weight of her burdens fell away. The sparkle returned to her fine eyes, and the change in their gaze told him that she had let her worries go, and was thinking of other, more pleasant things. She arched her back to reach his mouth and took his bottom lip between her own. It was all she had to do.

Continued In Next Section

© 2004 Copyright held by the author.