Section I, Next Section

CHAPTER 1

Posted on Thursday, 30 June 2005

Elizabeth Bennet looked at the clock for the fifth time that evening. It can’t be only eleven. This party will never end. And to think that I looked forward to it! Then she turned her gaze to her sister Jane. Apparently she was much more pleased with the evening. No wonder, she had spent most of her time with that gorgeous Charles Bingley, her boss’s wealthy friend. Now, not only did Elizabeth find herself alone, but she was also obliged to bear her workmates’ hostile looks. She had brought her sister, a “stranger”, to the magazine’s party and that stranger had stolen the man everyone was forming designs for. And, considering how handsome Charles was, she couldn’t really blame her workmates.

Then she looked at her boss, the rich and powerful William Darcy…hmmm and very handsome too. His eyes were on the clock and he seemed in exasperation as well. That could hardly cause anyone’s surprise. Everyone knew that he hated these parties. He did very little to conceal it, always sitting by the window with his drink and never speaking to anyone he was not very close with. This particular evening only Charles, his sisters Caroline and Louisa and the latter’s fiancé had heard his voice. Well, he could not have chosen worse company for the evening, I almost pity him! Both Charles’ sisters were very pretty but as Elizabeth very well knew, they were also disagreeable and snooty and mean and…a very long list was formed in her mind. As for Tony, Louisa’s fiancé, he looked remarkably stupid.

By midnight Elizabeth thought that she had fulfilled her duty towards the magazine and approached her sister in order to beg her to leave. Darcy had probably the same plans and he had reached his friend as she went near her sister. He had really intended not to speak loudly, but his deep masculine voice did make its way to Elizabeth’s ears.

“Charles, I am leaving this moment and so are you.”

“You may do as you please, but you cannot possibly separate me from my angel so soon!” he replied smiling towards Jane. “Why can’t you find a distraction as well?”

“Well, it seems that there are no other distractions in this room, Charles. Your sisters have already left, taking your car with them and I am to get you safely home.”

“The nanny role doesn’t suit you, Darce.”

“I cannot say the same for you. You carry your spoilt- boy part to perfection!”

“I am not leaving, so find yourself a woman and let me return to my flower.”

“There are no women for me in here.” He stated.

“O, come on. Look at that woman next to my angel. She’s got something doesn’t she?”

“Whom do you mean?” He turned and looked at Jane and Elizabeth. “Elizabeth Bennet? For God’s sake, Charles, don’t tell me that you think her beautiful?”

“She is not like my goddess, but she’s quite pretty, is she not?”

“She is not at all to my taste. And, unlike you, I want much more than a pair of fine eyes to fall in love with.”

“Geez, Will, I didn’t ask you to marry her, I told you to talk to her.”

“Are we leaving?” Darcy asked impatiently.

“Just an hour. Give me just an hour. Please, Will.”

“I’ll go to the terrace for some air and when I come back, we leave.”

“You are a wonderful nanny Will, thanks. Now, I must be returning to my rose.”

Darcy’s features were lightened by a smile, just for a moment.

“Charles.”

“Yes, Will?”

“Do you know the name of your rose?”

Charles started coughing.

“I thought so.” He left the room so that no one would hear him laugh.

William walked to the terrace. It was a very cold night. It almost looked like it was going to snow although it was only October. She likes cold nights was his immediate thought that brought a smile on his face. Then he heard steps approaching but couldn’t figure out who was coming. Thank God I was not thinking aloud. Why can’t they leave me alone?

Then a very familiar voice spoke:

“Not to your taste? Now, Mr. Darcy that was rude.”

William did not answer but instantly took her in his arms. He began kissing her, gently at first but then more and more passionately as the longing of the night and the magic of the moment took hold of his better sense. Elizabeth tried to protest:

“Will, I am trying to stay mad at you and you…oh, Will, no… you are certainly not helping me.”

He released her, although it took him all his self-will to do so, amused to see the slight disappointment in her eyes.

“Eavesdropping again? What am I going to do with your bad journalistic habits?” he asked caressing her chin.

“I am very sorry to say that I was not eavesdropping. You have a wonderfully loud voice, you know. Charlotte and the girls are having a good laugh at me back there and I just left them after declaring that I totally despise you.”

“Well, now they are not going to suspect anything.”

“Don’t tell me that you planned to humiliate me in front of my colleagues so that you won’t spoil the rich bachelor’s image!” Elizabeth suddenly looked angry.

“Of course not! You know me well enough to think me incapable of this, I hope.” His tone was deadly serious. “And I thought that you wished the concealment as much as I did.”

“Don’t panic! I have no intention of inducing you into matrimony. Although I cannot say the same about your dear Caroline.”

“Now you are jealous of Caroline? What’s next?” he asked sarcastically.

“I do not want to continue this, William. It’s late and we’re both tired. Let’s return to the party.”

“No.”

Elizabeth felt something in her stomach. Maybe I have taken it too far tonight. Why did I have to mention that shrew? Please, Will, don’t look at me like that.

“No?” she asked hesitatingly.

“No.” He stated. “It is the first hour we spend by ourselves this week and the idea of parting mad at each other just doesn’t suit me.” He smiled. Elizabeth smiled back, and did her best to conceal a sigh of relief. His fingers moved from her chin to her cheeks and their eyes locked. Oh, her eyes! He had lied to Charles. Those eyes could have been a reason for him to fall in love. They were fire and danger, soul and spirit, adventure and safety, desert and oasis. But he also had the strange feeling that he was at home when he was looking in them, which could be for hours, forever in fact.

He kissed her again and again and they were both lost in their passion and desire. They parted just when he began to feel that his self-control was vanishing, He whispered in her ears, his voice hoarse with desire:

“I want you. Tonight.”

“Oh, Will, we can’t. Jane’s staying at my place tonight.”

“Come to my place, then.”

Elizabeth cursed her luck. During their secret three-month relationship, he had never invited her to his place, always finding some silly excuses that vexed her. And now that her wish to be in his home could come true, she had to decline the offer.

“I can’t leave her alone. Not tonight.” The regret was evident in her eyes.

Darcy knew he had better conceal his disappointment, although he hardly knew how. Parting with Elizabeth became more difficult every time and he didn’t wish things to become too serious. Elizabeth had better not realize how much of his happiness depended now on her spending the night with him. He did his best to smile.

“I understand.”

“I am glad you do. So, we’re getting back?”

“Anxious to get rid of me?” he feigned a hurt look.

“You are so sure of yourself that you can never sound convincing.” She laughed at him.

She’s making fun of me and I like it! Well, that is unusual. Darcy, beware: this woman is changing you. He became serious.

“Is anything wrong?” she asked with some surprise.

“No, nothing at all. We should be returning.”

“See you on Monday, then?”

“Still not free for lunch on Sunday?”

“No. I am going to my mother with Jane and Charlotte.”

“To Hertfordshire, that’s right?”

“Yes. Are you so interested in my whereabouts?”

“No, of course not!” he answered a bit too pointedly.

What’s wrong with this man? One moment he is funny and tender and loving and the other he builds walls between us. Elizabeth’s troubled thoughts reflected on her face but Darcy chose not to notice it.

“See you on Monday, Elizabeth.”

“Have a nice weekend.”

“You too.”

Elizabeth could not sleep that night. She tossed and turned but the feeling of dissatisfaction didn’t let her find some rest. So, after an hour that seemed like a day, she got up and headed to the kitchen. Some milk would be just the thing for her troubled state of mind. It would make her feel like when she was a child and her dearest father brought her a cup of milk every night, before she went to bed. Oh, it seemed ages ago…

But before she could bring the image of her beloved father before her, she was obliged to come back to reality. Jane was sitting in the kitchen and the look on her face was anything but happy. Elizabeth sighed. Her sister had been melancholic for too long a period. She had hoped that their evening at the party would do her some good. The smiles that were brought on her lovely face while she was talking with Charles were very promising. But now, her big blue eyes were full of tears.

“Jane, darling, what is the matter?”

Jane startled. She had not seen her sister enter. She tried to hide her tears and smiled faintly.

“Nothing, Lizzy. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Oh, Jane, come on. I can see that you are unhappy. Talk to me. Open up. We can sort this together.”

“Lizzy, you have problems of your own and…”

“I have not” laughed Lizzy. “I have the perfect life.” And a perfect boyfriend who is probably ashamed of me. And he is not romantic. And he has never said that he loves me. He doesn’t love me. I must end this on Monday. Yes on Monday. This time I will. Not like the previous week that we ended up at my house and we…

But Jane was already speaking:

“…and even if you really had not any problems, why should you trouble yourself with mine? I am a grown woman and I am behaving worse than a teenager who got dumped by her boyfriend.”

“You are behaving like a wonderful woman who gave up everything to marry a total…”

“Please, Lizzy do not speak ill of him. We spent twelve years together. I have been happy by his side. Abusing him does not help at all.”

“It always helps when I get dumped.” murmured Elizabeth.

“Lizzy, he did not dump me. Idecided to leave him.” Jane’s voice was trembling and Elizabeth sensed she should try to stay calm. But she had a fiery temperament that always betrayed her in cases like that. So she shouted:

“Jane, he has been cheating on you!!! He has taken the best years of your life! He did not let you go to university, though you were far cleverer than him… than anyone in your class, in fact. He refused to have children. Now, I can see why! He was always jealous. You lost contact with your friends, you lost your life, do you understand me? Don’t deny it. Denial can mask the pain, but it cannot heal the wound.” She stopped to take breath and she looked at her sister. Jane was crying uncontrollably by now, and she kept murmuring: “Jason did love me. He really did…”, but Elizabeth sensed that she was finally letting go. She continued:

“And now, that he has ruined your personal life and the prospects of a career, he got bored! He wanted a mistress! And he demanded that you reconcile yourself with the situation! He refused the divorce and now that you managed to get free, he threw the blame on you. He left you penniless and disgraced and you refuse to abuse him?” Elizabeth might be hot-blooded at times, but never in her life had she spoken so harshly. She was crying along with Jane, as if they were taking out the sting together, but she found the courage to continue, in a tone full of pain and anger:

“Look at you! You have had a nice evening, you were admired by that charming man and now you come back and cry about Jason! All your life is turning around that monster!”

“Charles reminded me of…” Jane’s words were barely comprehensible as her sobs prevailed.

“Jason of course! Everything reminds you of Jason Younge! And do you know what the worst of all is? You still love him! After everything that he has done to you, after all those terrible things he has said about you, you still love him!”

“NO!” cried Jane with such a loud voice that Elizabeth had never heard before. “You may be right about everything else, but I do not love him anymore. And this is the worst of all!”

“What?” asked Elizabeth, very surprised.

“The worst of all, Elizabeth,” continued Jane in a much calmer tone (as Elizabeth was having shivers: Jane never called anything but Lizzy) “is that I cannot love him anymore. I cannot love anyone anymore.” Jane’s voice was deadly serious and cold. She had stopped crying. Elizabeth now regretted having started what seemed like the most painful conversation in her life. Jane however did not notice her sister’s pale face and continued:

“I met Charles and we had a very nice time. We have much in common. He’s interested in the stories I write. He asked my phone number and I gave it. If he asks me on a date, I will probably say yes. But I feel, no, I know that I will never be able to love him. Or anyone else. A part of me is dead, Elizabeth. I cannot love. I do not believe in love. Not anymore.”

Elizabeth could not believe what was happening. He has ruined her, she thought. Forever. He wanted to hug her, to comfort her, to tell her that everything would be fine, that they would find true and everlasting love and that they would live happily ever after. But she didn’t. She thought of her parents. Then of Jane. Then of her own life, of all her boyfriends, of William. The man she thought she could share her thoughts and dreams with. The man she hoped she could love. She remembered his panic every time he thought that someone was suspecting their affair. Christ, as if there was a reason! He was not engaged or married or dating anyone else. She remembered his words this evening. Disappointment and bitterness filled her. The tears had disappeared, or were rather replaced by something like coldness. And she could say nothing. She could not help her sister as she could not help herself. Finally she whispered:

“Never call me Elizabeth again. I hate it when coming from your lips.”

Jane only nodded and Elizabeth returned to her room. Without having any milk and without finding the sleep she needed badly.

In the guest room, Jane felt drained, empty and exhausted. She put on some music. She recalled her sister’s angry, and then shocked face. She remembered the pain in her eyes. I shouldn’t have done this to her, she thought. She seems stronger, but she cannot bear the pain. Lizzy is all I have now and I have to protect her. That was her last thought before surrendering to sleep. The CD player was still on:

*Memory from the musical “Cats.” Music: Andrew Lloyd Weber. Lyrics from Elliot’s Old Possum’s book and his unpublished writings

CHAPTER 2

Posted on Thursday, 7 July 2005

Lunch with her mother and step-father was one of the duties Elizabeth hated the most. She could never forgive the way Fanny Lucas had treated her father, how she had made him lose his trust in people, how she had made him leave. Had not Jane insisted that they owed gratitude to the woman who had given birth to them, she could very happily go on living without ever seeing her or missing her. But here she was, Sunday noon, among her sister Jane and her step-sister Charlotte eating her mother’s roast beef and listening to her long monologues. Fanny was proud of not making distinctions between daughters and step-daughters, so her speeches were equally displeasing to Charlotte.

“I cannot believe it! What is wrong with you? Instead of attracting men, you get dumped! Do not look at me like this Elizabeth Bennet! You are twenty-eight and I haven’t met a single boyfriend of yours. You are incapable of keeping them for more than a week! How long is it since you last had a relationship? And you, Charlotte, you are almost thirty-five! I had two daughters and a divorce at thirty-five! How much longer do you think that you will be able to conceive? And now, you Jane! You who never gave me any trouble! Well, apart from the fact that you couldn’t get pregnant during twelve years of marriage… You, who had secured the richest and handsomest and most gallant of husbands at eighteen!” Here Fanny shed a tear. “And you let him dump you at thirty? Who is going to look at you now? Right, you’re still very pretty but the charm of youth is a better allurement than your blue eyes and blond hair. What do you say my dear?” she asked her husband who looked at her full of admiration.

“You are very right, my dear, as always.”

Elizabeth felt disgusted but Charlotte immediately changed the subject.

“Your roast beef is wonderful as always, Fanny. Will you give me the recipe?”

“You’ve lost it again? I must have given it to you at least four times!”

Charlotte smiled and Elizabeth whispered to her, amused: “Try to be more inventive. There are other ways of changing the subject, you know!”

“You’d prefer it if I talked about your slight by the boss?” Charlotte teased.

Unfortunately Fanny heard Charlotte and wanted to know the whole story. Elizabeth, unlike what her sisters would expect, provided her with it. She enjoyed her mother’s anger towards anyone – apart from her own self – who spoke ill of her daughters. And William Darcy deserved to be a little abused by her mother. But as she was listening to her mother’s exclamations and exaggerated resent, she felt her own anger melting. Oh, Elizabeth, don’t do this again. You’re forgiving him. You won’t ask him to end this tomorrow. He has power over you. You are going to get hurt, Elizabeth. Really hurt.

Jane who had been living in New York for the past eight years, had got unused to her mother’s insensitive speeches. By the time Elizabeth had finished her story, however, she had recovered enough to attempt to change the conversation. She chose her mother’s favorite subject and asked about Fanny’s new neighbors.

“Oh, the Forsters... I like them exceedingly but they have no sons. Thank God their daughters are ugly!” she smiled with satisfaction ignoring Jane’s look. She went on: “They are very rich you know. Well, maybe not as much as that abominable Mr. Darcy- Charlotte, did you say that he owns the magazine you work at?”

“Not only ‘Meryton’, Fanny.” Charlotte replied. “He owns three other magazines and two newspapers. As soon as his uncle retires – and from what I hear that is going to be very soon – he will be CEO of Pemberley Net. And he owns land and…well, he is wealthy. He is, at thirty-four, the fifth richest man in England.”

“Parents?” was all that Fanny could say.

“Both dead.” Charlotte smiled slightly watching Fanny’s look.

“Brothers?”

“A younger sister. She is twenty-six. Not interested in companies, just in mathematics. A genius they say. She will have a brilliant career, and surely Mr. Darcy will provide for her generously, but the company will be his and his only.”

“What a catch!” exclaimed Fanny. “Any other family?”

Elizabeth was not feeling very well. She was having an affair with that man for three months, but Charlotte and probably everyone who read magazines knew more about him than herself. Not him, she corrected herself. His wealth and his relations, yes. But not him. Charlotte continued with a sly smile:

“Well, his cousin is Richard Fitzwilliam…”

Jane, Fanny and William Lucas cried together:

“The actor? The sexiest man on planet?”

Elizabeth sighed in relief. At least I knew that. Richard and Georgiana were the only family members he was talking to her about. He absolutely adored his little Georgie and he could speak of the adventures he had lived with Richard for a whole night.

“Well, well, he will never be in want of money, I can vouch for that!” Fanny Lucas was practical woman. “I repeat, what a catch! Jane dear, did you have a chance to speak to him?”

“Well, Jane spent her night speaking to the eighth richest man in England. Charles Bingley of Netherfield Editions!” The words escaped Charlotte before she could check herself.

“O, Jane, you sly thing! You didn’t drop a word of this. Now, you must absolutely…”

Elizabeth Bennet was a journalist who wrote about politics. She would listen to all her sources and investigate every bit of the seemingly unimportant information she got, revealing many well kept secrets. That is how she had built her reputation. She would listen attentively to anyone…except her mother. After years of self-training she had managed to exclude her mother’s voice while receiving all the other stimuli. This worked only from time to time, not always, of course. Fortunately for Elizabeth, it did work for the rest of that day.

William sat alone in his living room. He hated those Sunday afternoons that everyone was supposed to spend happily with family. Well, he had no family to spend his time with. Georgiana was dealing with her incomprehensible staff an ocean away and Richard was shooting a film in… really, where was he the last time he called? Was it Australia or New Zealand? He couldn’t remember. And Elizabeth had gone to Hertfordshire to see that strange mother of hers. He checked himself: Why did I think of Elizabeth as my family?. Things were getting complicated and that was not to his liking.

Sunday afternoons with family… Well, the last time he had a nice, typical Sunday with family was twenty-two years ago. He was twelve and Georgie was only four. He smiled fondly at the memory. It was strange how clear it was. His mother playing with them, full of laughter, full of life. His father a bit distant, but evidently pleased. They ate in the garden, then his mother told them stories of the past, of her life as a student, and of the first time she had met their father. Sometimes she would look at her husband pointedly, but William was too young and too happy to notice it. His mother seemed so carefree, full of love for her children. In the evening, she put them to bed and whispered to him: “Now off to dreamland, my big boy!” William felt safe and protected and beloved. Two days later she left the house.

George Darcy adored his wife but he never really tried to understand her, before or after she had left him. He never forgave her. He tried to forget her, to remove all her traces out of his life and the lives of his children. This only made him more distant than he already was and destroyed his children’s faith in people. Twenty-two years later, Georgiana’s shyness and self-consciousness as well as William’s bitterness were not overcome in the least. A huge “why?” haunted the young Darcys’ lives as their father refused to tell them what had made their mother leave. Only when William was twenty and they learnt that Anne Darcy had died in an accident somewhere in Africa did his father show him the brief note his wife had left him before leaving:

“It’s all about money and power isn’t it? I have forgiven you, please try to forgive me. Take care of our angels. Tell them how much I love them. Don’t destroy my little ‘Meryton’ land. I love you too, George, and I always will. But I can’t go on living by your side. Anne”

William never fully understood the meaning of the letter but he was sure of one thing: whatever may have passed between his parents, what Anne Darcy did to her children was unforgivable. She couldn’t have loved them. The mother’s affection, the essence of love had been proven a façade. And if it was so, how could he ever trust people again? What had happened with his sister eight years ago – how painful was the memory! – had not helped at all. After all these blows, how could he believe in love? He did not believe in love, that word so easily told and so easily written and so easily betrayed. He never pronounced or wrote it. It had not been a problem with his numerous conquests of the past – he was a gorgeous, rich and intelligent man, after all; and a ride with his Porsche made all the need for silly promises forgotten. But with Elizabeth, it seemed to build a barrier. Something was different and that displeased him.

That was the state of his mind when the telephone rang. It was Elizabeth. A smiling face replaced a pained one at the sound of her voice.

“I was thinking about you.” She confessed.

“How so?” he asked very contended and angry with himself for being contended.

“Thanks to your wonderful remark which everyone seems to have overheard on Friday, you almost entered my mother’s black list.”

“Well, that should make you my ally.” Elizabeth sounded relaxed, so he permitted himself to be amused.

“I said almost. Unfortunately, before my mother could plan the revenge, Charlotte mentioned your bank account.”

“Then I am not your ally anymore.”

“Worse than that. You are a good catch.”

“I see.” He replied a little uncomfortable.

“Not for me, of course.” Elizabeth sensed his uneasiness. “Only Jane is pretty enough to tempt you.”

“You mean that I am dating the least pretty sister?”

“Yes, the one which is not to her boss’s taste.”

“How long are you going to keep reminding me?”

“Well, I have not punished you properly.”

“And when do you plan this punishment to take place?” William suddenly felt that he wanted very much an invitation.

“If you come to my apartment, you will get it this very evening.”

“Is not Jane with you?”

“No, she’s staying in Hertfordshire this week and then she’ll be looking for her own place.”

“Good.”

“Any other objections?”

“You are not tired, I hope.”

“Come and decide for your self.”

William laughed and left his home as soon as possible.

Later that night, as they lay on her bed, embraced tightly, all the tension and anger and bitterness of their day magically disappeared. Before William drifted off to sleep, he heard Elizabeth’s whisper: “Now off to dreamland, my big boy…” She couldn’t have known what those simple words meant to him. Anyway, he didn’t remember them the next day, but that night he slept like a child. A very happy one.

When George Darcy realized that he was dying (that was nine years before the beginning of our story), he looked back at his life. He remembered his wife. Their years together. The years after the separation. He thought about his children. He realized that his son’s heart was cold. That he could not say the word ‘love.’ That he was beginning to resemble him. That he was about to make the same mistakes. Only then did he understand what he had done. Remorse filled him. He wanted to talk to him, to tell him the whole truth, to warn him. But it was late. It was all too late. Desperation threatened to be his final feeling. But then his wife’s smiling face came before him: “Everyone has to make his own mistakes and learn from them, my love. Maybe Will’s won’t be as painful as ours. Now, come with me to dreamland, my big boy!”

A smile, a warmth and, oh, how did that, of all the melodies he had ever heard, come to him?

*from the musical “The Phantom of the Opera”. Music: Andrew Lloyd Weber

CHAPTER 3

Posted on Thursday, 14 July 2005

Charles Bingley was sitting in his office, very absorbed, reading ‘Meryton’. Will had done wonders with it in the last four months that he was the editor. He wondered how his friend could find time for everything, taking care of the whole business and being the editor as well. Will was very displeased, when his uncle sent him to ‘Meryton’ but he accepted the responsibility as the final test before becoming CEO of Pemberley Net. It was about time that position returned to the Darcys. Anyway, not only had Will saved ‘Meryton’ from bankruptcy, but he was going to make it one of the most respected political magazines in the country. Charles smiled. If that was a test, then Will was passing it with an A+. As always.

Will had also discovered and hired Elizabeth Bennet. That woman was incredibly good at her job. She had an instinct that made her choose the topics that would later become the hottest ones. And she wrote prodigiously well. She made everyone want to read her articles, even if the topic was not at all to their interest. People would talk about her column between meetings and at parties. She had made political discussions really popular again. And although she was very severe, everyone admitted that she was a remarkable idealist. Everybody adored her. Except Will. Charles sighed, having finally come to terms with the fact that his friend would never love anyone but his sister and two or three other people he had grown up with.

He returned to Elizabeth’s article. It was wonderful, as always. The subtle irony fascinated him, and reminded him of his surprise when he discovered how different her style was than her sister’s. Well, they couldn’t possibly be the same. Elizabeth was a journalist in ‘Meryton’ and Jane was writing novels for children. But they were both equally good at their perspective fields.

Yes, Jane was a discovery, too. He knew that Will would doubt his motives, but they had already signed a contract. It was true of course that he was impressed by her outstanding beauty, but her work was as perfect as her looks were. She wrote in that sensitive way, with respect towards the children’s intelligence. She seemed not just capable to guess their wishes but willing to take the trouble to fulfill each and every one of them. She was devoted to her work, more than the average writer. And though Charles had to admit that her beauty was what had attracted him in the first place, he now wanted to discover what was hiding behind the big blue eyes and porcelain skin.

The only problem was that Jane was not willing to open up. She was polite, nay friendly, always smiling and ready for pleasant conversation, but she didn’t seem inclined to give more. He knew that she had married her high school boyfriend at eighteen, that they had moved to New York at twenty-two and that they had signed the divorce papers only a month ago, on the day he had met her himself. Was it a painful experience? Was it his fault, or maybe hers? (That was difficult to believe) He had absolutely no idea and Jane was not helping at all. Charles was not a patient man, but this time he decided to make an exception. This amazing woman, smiling yet melancholic, talkative yet mysterious, certainly deserved it. He only needed a clue of how to go on. And it was Caroline – of all people – who offered it. She called him just as he was getting ready to leave his office:

“Charles, I’ve just had a wonderful idea!”

Charles knew enough of his sister’s wonderful ideas to feel uncomfortable.

“What is it now, Caroline?”

“Try to sound a little more enthusiastic.”

“May I remind you that your last infamous ‘wonderful idea’ ended in the worst fight I had ever had with Will? And the worst part is that he was right!”

“You know, Charles, normal people like surprise birthday parties!”

“Yes, but only when they take place on their birthday, not on the anniversary of their parents’ wedding! Especially when their parents are dead!”

“It’s not my fault that he talks so little of himself and his family. How was I supposed to know that…”

Charles didn’t want their conversation to last forever.

“All right, Caroline, you are right and the rest of us are blind, as usual. Can you now come to the point, please?”

“Well, I thought we could celebrate your birthday next weekend in our house in Scotland. It will be magical! I’ll organize everything and I swear it will be unforgettable!”

“I have no wish for big parties, Caroline. They remind me of…Jessica”. Charles was lying. He was very happy that he had got rid of that hysterical top model. He even had trouble recalling her name. But he had thought of inviting Jane to dinner, showing her that he preferred her company to everyone else’s. He would have already asked her if she was free, but he was afraid of scaring her away.

Caroline was not stupid, at least not so much as to believe her brother. And she had noticed his partiality for that new writer. So she played her final card.

“It will be nothing like a big party, Charles. Just Tony, Louisa, Will, me, you and that lovely Jane Bennet. Can you invite her as well, Charles? I really want to know her better. We will spend the whole weekend exploring Scotland’s beauties and we’ll have nothing more than a cake to remind us of your birthday. Simplicity is the key word, Charles.”

Charles’ resistance had started melting the moment he had heard Jane’s name. But he could not help being surprised at his sister’s final words.

“Simplicity? That’s not your style, Caroline.”

“It is Will’s, though.”

“Oh, not again! Will is never going to fall in love with you, whatever you do! Even if you say only what he likes, you are not going to win his heart! Dozens of women have tried that before you and all in vain! You have been trying for years now, Caroline. When are you going to give up? I doubt he’ll ever love, anyway.”

“My dear Charles, I do not want to make him love me, I want to make him marry me.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Will and I have something in common, Charles. We don’t believe in love. I believe in a successful marriage, though. He has money and a name highly respected and he can offer me the life I have been dreaming of since I was ten. And if you think that I am going to give up before we both say the words ‘I do’, you are sadly mistaken.”

Charles had always suspected that his sister was after his friend’s money, but he had never heard her talk about it so bluntly. He was shocked.

“I am not letting my friend make such a mistake!” he shouted, his voice full of indignation.

Caroline’s voice was unnaturally calm when she replied.

“Mistake, Charles? I am too good, even for him. I am going to put up with his unsocial disposition. I am not going to demand silly romantic promises. With me, he will be able to be his real self. And I am going to build a better social profile for him, host his colleagues and bear his children. I am the best choice he can make. I am just waiting for him to realize it. And I will keep waiting, Charles.”

“You…he… It’s not like that!” Caroline had rendered him speechless.

“Believe whatever you want, Charles. Just stay out of this, as you have always done. You will invite Jane, won’t you?”

“Yes. Yes, I will.”

“It’s going to be perfect! Bye!”

Charles forgot that he had planned to leave his office before his conversation with Caroline. He knew his friend was cynical, but Caroline’s words had shaken him. That was Charles’ problem. He was too easily influenced. Caroline almost made him believe that his friend was another person than the one he had known for years. That he only wanted a wife, a big house with a swimming pool, parties and children to continue the family tradition. No he practically shouted to himself. Will is nothing like that. He’s sensitive and generous and has the best heart! And he won’t get married unless he finds true love. Charles smiled ruefully as he realized that Caroline was right in one observation: Will did not seem to believe in love. But, that only means he will never marry. That might be a sad conclusion, but he preferred it to Caroline’s picture of ‘artificial’ happiness. He decided to call Will to invite him to Scotland, informing him of who else was going. He was sure that he would have to use all his persuasion skills to make him join them. Will chose to surprise him.

“I will be very happy to come, Charles.”

“What?” Charles exclaimed. “You really want to come?”

“You had hoped that I wouldn’t?” Will sounded amused.

“No, of course not! But I was sure that you would say no at first and then yield to my pleading.”

“Well, since you’ve decided that I will come, I am glad we didn’t waste our time in arguing.”

“Oh, you accepted the plan to avoid talking much to me?” Charles feigned being hurt.

“No, I accepted the general idea, in order to make a few suggestions for its improvement.”

“I knew that you would find fault with Caroline’s plan!” Charles cried happily. He had been afraid that Will was beginning to admire his sister. He couldn’t help it: that idea filled him with horror.

“Well, it’s all right with me. I like small parties. But, if I were Jane Bennet, I would feel a bit uneasy.”

Charles let out a gasp. His dreams were collapsing. He remained silent, as Will continued:

“Practically, you are not even dating. And you are inviting her to your house. Who else will be there? Tony and Louisa: a couple. Me and Caroline: we will never be a couple, but Jane doesn’t know that. Furthermore, I am afraid that Caroline has told her at the party how close she thinks we are. You have told me that you don’t want to scare her off. You cannot find a better way to scare her off than this invitation, Charles.”

“Oh, God! What am I to do? Maybe I should… No. Perhaps if…” Coming up with good ideas when his love life was getting difficult had never been Charles’ specialty. Will ignored his incoherent murmurings and continued:

“On the other hand, this weekend, if better planned, could finally get you closer. Scotland, birthday, long walks, romance. It’s the ideal opportunity.”

“Yes, yes, that’s right. What am I going to do? Will, please help a man deep in love!”

Will smirked. How easily he can say such a thing! And then he can’t remember their names.

“If she knew well someone of the party, she would feel more at ease.” He replied carefully.

“Oh, do you think we have time to make her better acquainted with Caroline?”

“Do you know many people who feel at ease with Caroline around?” Will was getting inpatient.

“How about you?” Charles asked, hoping that his friend’s reply would render Caroline’s avowed plans useless.

“It’s not ease, Charles. It’s resignation.”

Charles was happy that his friend was not under Caroline’s spell, but Jane’s problem remained unsolved.

“Too bad you have no common acquaintances.” Will offered.

“Yeah, too bad… Wait. We do. We do! I know her sister! Elizabeth!”

“You do?” Will asked, trying to hide his relief that his friend had finally got the hint.

“Yes. Oh, how didn’t I think about that before? We met at the party and then she came along with Jane when we signed the contract. And we all celebrated it together. And then I saw her at…”

Will knew of course everything about the few times Charles and Elizabeth had met, but he couldn’t tell him that. So he let him continue, until Charles announced that he felt that he and Elizabeth shared a close friendship and he could not but invite her to Scotland. William readily agreed and ended the conversation as soon as possible.

From the first moment Charles had mentioned Scotland, Will had thought of Elizabeth. Elizabeth in Scotland with him. Nothing else mattered. Nobody else mattered. They would spend a weekend in the same house and he would find a way to make it unforgettable for her. Yes, he had this urge to please her lately. He wanted to make her happy. He felt a pang in his stomach every time he saw her smiling. Especially when he had something to do with the reason that made her smile. He was glad when she was glad. She could make him happy. A word, a look or a teasing were enough to make the bitterness inside him more bearable. She could make him laugh: Not his reserved smiles or his usual smirk, but the deep, healthy laugh. He tried to deny the importance she had obtained in his life, but all he managed was to name the situation ‘a temporary crisis’ which would end some day. So, he decided to stop checking himself every time his affection for Elizabeth took the better of him. The only resistance he maintained was the desire not to let anyone know about his feelings. Not even Elizabeth.

For her own part, Elizabeth had stopped planning to ask William to break up. She knew it was a mistake, she knew that she was giving her heart to a man who would never be truly hers, but she could not help it. She was falling in love with him. It was true of course that he didn’t talk about himself; he never whispered endearments or made compliments to her. But he could send shivers to her spine only by looking at her or touching her hand. She was lost in his eyes; she was lost in his voice. He was a tender yet passionate lover. He was sensitive and romantic – though he hated the term. He had taken her for a walk one night and showed her the stars. He narrated all the fables related with the gods and heroes they were named after. His deep voice mesmerized her, and in the end she could not fight the urge to kiss him. He made her feel beautiful and desired, like she had never felt before. Conversations with him were always a challenge and a source of knowledge. She admired him, and was grateful for the wonderful sensations he awoke in her. So, she decided to be with him as long as possible. She dreaded the moment he would decide to end their relationship, but she was sure that it would come sooner or later.

The news about Scotland was very welcome. The only problem she had was how to conceal her enthusiasm. It was not only the prospect of spending time near William that filled her with joy. She was also very happy for her sister. It was evident that Charles Bingley was very attracted to her and he was flirting with her quite charmingly. Elizabeth thought that it was a blessing indeed. She had not spoken with Jane about her feelings, but she could see that her sister’s mood was becoming lighter. She believed that her sister was not in love, and not at all likely to fall in love. But she also knew Charles by reputation. She considered him harmless, unable to excite strong feelings or fall in love himself. She was certain that he would give some strength to Jane’s beaten ego, without wanting or asking much more. After all those horrible years near Jason Younge, Jane could live her life again. She could flirt and act a little irresponsibly. She had a right to do so, after having sacrificed her youth in an unfortunate marriage. Elizabeth shared these thoughts with Charlotte, with whom she had been close long before their parents’ marriage. Charlotte however expressed some objections.

“I think, Liz, that Jane should be very-very careful about her reputation.”

“Her reputation? Don’t be ridiculous Charlotte! Do you know which century we live in?”

“Do you know what kind of society we live in, Liz? People are cruel. If she acts like a schoolgirl people will say that Jason was right after all…”

“Jason is a monster! Everyone knows that the rumors he spread about Jane were untrue!” Elizabeth cried indignantly. Charlotte remained calm.

“Jason is an unfeeling egoist, Liz, but I am afraid that people tend to believe his version of the story.” Before the angry Elizabeth had time to interrupt her, she continued: “Jane has already made a huge mistake by not making generally known what happened. Even I know no details. In fact I know only what you have told me. Jane doesn’t speak about it at all.”

“Jane was really hurt. And she is not the kind of woman who would spread horrible reports about her ex, although in their case it would be fair enough.”

“I know, Liz, but you have to admit that Jane is perhaps the only woman to react like that after what has happened. I believe you, and her story, only because I have known you since childhood. Their common acquaintances won’t be so insightful.”

“Jason’s story is a huge lie, that…” Elizabeth was ready to explode.

“…that is much easier to believe.” Charlotte completed the sentence and continued: “It matches with their ideas about poor uneducated women who secure rich husbands at the age of eighteen. And before you start shouting, I am very well aware that it is not the case. But I am equally convinced that this is what everyone thought in their society then. Jason’s lies, presenting Jane under such a light make them feel cleverer and say to themselves I knew it!. You know this phrase’s magic, Liz, don’t you?”

“Them, they, their society… whom are you talking about, Char?” Elizabeth asked, a bit scornfully. She knew the answer.

“Their common acquaintances, who are rich and very important people, Liz. They belong to the same circle as Bingley or Darcy. Do you think they won’t tell him?”

“We live in England and Jason is in New York, Char.” Elizabeth had thought of many other logical arguments but she became somewhat abstract when Darcy’s name popped in the conversation.

“No, he isn’t. I am sorry that you learn this from me Liz, but he never returned home after they signed the papers. His parents were quite upset with the divorce, blaming him entirely. You know that they needed the marriage to Jane to control him, of course. They threatened to disinherit him and he stayed here to persuade them, as well as all his old friends, that Jane was responsible for their marriage’s dissolution. Jane has to be careful.”

“Jane has had enough of responsibilities, rules and restrictions for the past twelve years.” Charlotte was amazed at how calm her usually fiery friend sounded. Elizabeth continued: “If their acquaintances choose to believe the scoundrel, it’s too bad for them. Jane owes nothing to Jason and her clear conscience is enough for her. It is enough for me, and it should be enough for everyone who loves her. She is never going to spread the truth. Even if I don’t agree with all her actions, I respect them and I even admire them. And, Charlotte, I will tell you this once and will never repeat it: Jane has nothing to lose.”

“But the gossip…” Charlotte’s ideas could not reconcile with such a declaration.

“Did you hear me Charlotte? Nothing at all.”

At least, I tried. was all that Charlotte could content herself with when the conversation ended.

The conversation with Charlotte clouded Elizabeth’s moon, as it reminded her of the trial her sister had been through. And she remembered that Jane had suffered alone, far away from her home and her real family. Jason Younge, her husband, had never been family to her.

Jane and Jason had met at high school. They had exactly opposite temperaments and characters but instantly fell in love with each other. Jane was sweet, tender and sensible; there was calmness and serenity about her. Jason on the other hand was a ‘lively boy’. Coming from a very rich family he was spoilt. He always got into trouble but his undeniable charm helped him out of it. None of his actions or his decisions was made after much thought. Jane used to bring him down to earth and he used to take her to heaven. That’s why they became inseparable.

His parents adored Jane. They admitted that apart from being the kindest person they had ever known, she was also the only one who had ever managed to calm down Jason a bit. She had managed to do what they had failed to achieve. They knew that he was much safer with her by his side. And, knowing how little she cared for their fortune, they were almost happy when their son announced that they had eloped at the young age of eighteen. They welcomed her to their family and treated her as their own daughter. They even told Jason that he had to prove himself a successful husband to inherit his fortune.

Now, Elizabeth wondered why her sister, who never rushed into things, had decided to elope. At the time, she was only sixteen and she had joined her mother into considering it utterly romantic. But now she deplored the lack of good advice in her family. She wished she could turn back the time and change everything. But it was all too late. Jane had made her decision – either from overwhelming love or from lack of experience. The decision was wrong and she had paid for it - dearly. It was as simple as that.

At first they were almost happy. Jason went on with his studies and Jane was restricted at home, as his ideas about the duties of a wife were clear and unchangeable. His parents paid all their bills and did so very discretely. The old Younges had to admit that the elopement with Jane was their son’s wisest choice. She helped him with his studies and dissuaded him each time he declared that he wanted to drop university. Jane was still in love and believed that she was happy. However no sooner had Jason finished his studies and started working than things changed for the worse.

Jane wanted a child but Jason dreaded the responsibility. At last, he was convinced but despite their efforts the baby would not come. The doctors finally said that Jason could not have children unless he did some therapy, which he refused. Jane suggested adoption but Jason would not hear of it. He swore Jane to secrecy and became cynical and hostile. He wouldn’t return to their home in the evenings and he’d leave for a whole weekend without notice. Jane suspected that he had an affair. Soon, she received some photos which confirmed her suspicions. She was at a loss as to what she had to do and she blamed herself for having pushed Jason so much.

One evening Jason returned home and announced that they were leaving for New York. He looked very scared and anxious to be away from England as soon as possible. Jane did not question his decision. She suspected that he had had a talk with his parents and he had decided to give their marriage another chance. So, eight years ago she had left all her family and friends to restart her life with her husband.

During the first years their relationship was somewhat improved. Jason was a bit possessive but Jane preferred his jealousy to his former behavior. But, one or two years ago he started excluding her from his social life. It was obvious that he had several mistresses. When Jane mastered the strength to talk to him about it, he didn’t even bother to deny it. However, when she asked for a divorce he went mad. He refused, threatened, pleaded and again threatened. But Jane had made her decision and this time it was the right one.

Jason wanted revenge. His ego could not stand being dumped. Furthermore his parents were very displeased and threatened to leave him without any money. So, he followed Jane back to England, signed the divorce and started telling everyone the story he had invented back in New York: that Jane had told him that she was pregnant to make him marry her in the first place. That afterwards she refused to have children. That she used him and his money to gain status. That she had been always cold and distant, never truly responding to his love and always playing with his affections. That she had been cheating him. And that she had left him because she had found someone richer than him. He had chosen his words very carefully. Anyone who was used to the ways of scheming women and did not know Jane very well would believe him. The false pregnancy was not astonishing and some of Jane’s acquaintances interpreted her calmness as coldness or indifference. Yes, many people in both countries believed the charming, vulnerable, disappointed new bachelor. And, despite Elizabeth’s entreaties and Charlotte’s advice Jane didn’t try to stop him. She wanted just to forget. And, she had nothing to lose. That’s what she thought anyway.

CHAPTER 4

Posted on Tuesday, 19 July 2005

Charles Bingley was not from Scotland. His house there was not the old family manor. He had visited the area once and had fallen in love with its natural beauty. He bought the first available house without much thought. Caroline had disapproved his choice at first, declaring that she would never go near that ‘cottage’. Later though she saw it as an opportunity to throw big parties and show off. So, she decided to redecorate the house and add a few facilities, such as a big swimming pool. When she had finished, the house had lost its old magic and its ability to make Charles relax. It became Caroline’s ‘dear child’.

The whole party arrived on Friday evening. Elizabeth, as well as Darcy, had had a very busy week due to the approaching elections. When they finally entered the house they wanted nothing more than go to bed and have a long, wholesome sleep. However Caroline had other plans. She grabbed Darcy’s arm and insisted on their all taking a tour of the house. Charles grabbed Jane’s arm and joined in his sister’s request. Tony and Louisa had disappeared at the mention of it. Elizabeth wished she knew how to disappear too, but was obliged to follow the two ‘couples.’ She gritted her teeth.

The interior of the house showed that Caroline had a lot of money but not much sense of harmony. She had tried to combine super modern and traditional elements, but such an effort required a taste superior to the one she possessed. Elizabeth would have found it very amusing were she not ready to fall asleep. Finally, they finished their exploration. But, as Elizabeth was dreaming of her pajamas, Caroline said:

“Are you ready for dinner?”

Dinner? I had forgotten about that! Elizabeth was in exasperation. Darcy looked at her and read her thoughts.

“Caroline, we are very tired now. Perhaps we can pick something from the kitchen quickly and then go to bed.”

“The dinner that I have prepared for you, will wear all your tiredness off!”

“The dinner you prepared for us?” William thought he had misheard. Caroline never cooked. Or did anything useful.

“The dinner I told my cook to prepare for you.”

“That makes sense.” William whispered to Elizabeth. He had somehow managed to be at her side most of the tour. Elizabeth tried hard not to laugh at the whole exchange. Caroline resumed:

“It’s going to be lovely! I won’t ask you to change into more formal attire. Simplicity is the key word, wouldn’t you agree Elizabeth?”

“Since we are denied the luxury of rest, simplicity in dinner is the next best thing.” Elizabeth said and gave her the sweetest of her smiles. It was William’s turn to suppress his chuckles.

Caroline thought that she saw the two of them exchanging amused glances. Maybe I got tired as well. She thought and led them to the room they were to have dinner.

The ‘simple’ dinner consisted of not so simple plates and lasted for over an hour. By the time it had finished Caroline felt really tired and proposed that they retired. Everyone agreed. Before leaving the room, William whispered to Elizabeth:

“I have suppressed my tiredness for so many hours that I don’t feel tired anymore.”

Elizabeth smiled and answered:

“Me neither.”

“Care to join me by the fire place in ten minutes time?”

“Which one? For, I must say, Lady Caroline has many fireplaces.” Elizabeth teased but she finally agreed to join him.

Elizabeth returned to the fireplace ten minutes later, wearing her pink pajamas and having an adorable smile on her face. She looked very excited, like a little girl that had just disobeyed her parents’ orders to do something she really wanted. William smiled as he saw her. He was sitting on the floor, by the fireplace, and he invited her into his lap. Elizabeth sat there comfortably and just looked at him. They remained silent for a while, their eyes locked. They lost track of time, enjoying the warmth and safety their contact offered to both. After a while William’s eyes darkened. Elizabeth whispered:

“Talk to me, William.” She had no idea why she had said it, she didn’t know if there was something he wanted to share with her. She just asked because that seemed the natural thing to do.

“It’s strange.” He answered with a voice that resembled nothing of his usual self. “Why on a night like this remember her? It’s over twenty years now… When will this suffering stop?”

“Your mother?” Elizabeth inquired softly. It was the first time William mentioned his parents.

“When will she stop haunting me? I just want to forget her – as if she never existed.”

Elizabeth was struck by the way William talked about his mother. Perhaps it was not about her? But whom else might he be referring to? Twenty years ago... She just asked:

“Why?”

“I was just a boy and I needed her – so much. And she left us, without a word, without a second thought, without ever looking back. Just a note to my father. Four lines for a life, for a husband, for two children – Georgie was not even four for God’s sake!”

“Why?” Elizabeth repeated.

“I don’t know why! I don’t care to learn why! There is no excuse for what she did to us! She destroyed our childhood; she destroyed our lives! It’s her fault and nobody else’s.” William’s voice was broken.

“My father left us too. But it was not his fault. My mother practically made him leave. She betrayed him. She told him that she preferred another man. Their neighbor! Just because he was richer and easier to understand and handle! I know that my father couldn’t do anything but leave. He had to restart his life, somewhere far away from painful memories.”

“You are wrong. Whatever your mother has done, she stayed with you. Your father left. How could he betray you? How could my mother abandon me?”

“My father never stopped loving me!” Elizabeth protested.

“Did he contact you?”

“He sends me some letters…sporadically.” She finally admitted and broke eye contact with him.

‘Why are you so ready to forgive him?” He asked trying to make her look at him. Despite the fact that they defended opposite behaviors, there was no anger in either’s voice in the end. There was strained pain and fear.

“Why are you so ready to hate her?”

“She didn’t care for her own children.” William stated simply.

Elizabeth smiled sadly and quoted: “Love does not end just because you stop seeing each other.

William smiled at the remembrance of the film they had watched recently and repeatedly at her apartment. Conversation became lighter:

“I’m definitely not letting you watch The End of the Affair again.”

“I thought you liked it as well as I did.”

“Perhaps I did like it.” William admitted. “Not as much as you did, of course. That would be impossible. But it seems that Sarah is a bad influence.”

“She was right though.” Elizabeth said weakly as she felt she was drifting off to sleep.

William didn’t answer immediately. He just looked at her. She smiled and closed her eyes. Soon enough she was fast asleep. The knight that William hid deep inside him awoke and he carried her in his arms. He took her in her room and left her gently on her bed. He covered her with the blankets and when he was certain that she was warm and comfortable, he placed a kiss on her forehead and whispered:

“Perhaps she was right. But I don’t want to stop seeing you, Elizabeth.” With that, he left the room.

Saturday morning was very cold. Elizabeth found it very refreshing and decided that she would explore the surroundings even if no one wanted to accompany her. She went to the living–room and asked if anyone cared to join her. Tony and Louisa were so absorbed watching cartoons on the television that they didn’t even bother to answer. Caroline was arguing with her desperate cook, giving orders that couldn’t possibly be performed. Charles, in an inspired attempt to win Jane’s admiration, was showing her every collection he had made since the age of eight. Elizabeth wondered how his childhood treasures had ended up in a house that he had bought as an adult. Then she looked at Caroline who was shouting: “I want strawberries! Find them now.” Her cook was repeating: “But, Miss Bingley, it’s late November.” “I don’t care!” I think I know who had the idea about the collections, Elizabeth thought. I only hope that my poor sister will skip the old family photo albums. William Darcy had received an urgent call about business at seven o’clock in the morning. He went upstairs with his laptop and hadn’t stopped working since. So, Elizabeth set off all alone and not too unhappy about it.

Charles’s house was built on a hill near the sea, but it didn’t offer any view to it. Elizabeth walked until she had reached the top of the hill. From there she could see the waves crashing on the rocks below. The wind was strong and cold. The silver grey sea seemed ready to devour the shores. An ancient battle She thought. It goes like this for years and years. Humans are not needed here. Somehow, this gave her peace. She closed her eyes, just sensing and feeling. Harmony, serenity… Happiness perhaps? I could be happy here.

She heard steps approaching but she didn’t move or open her eyes. Someone touched her shoulders. She knew that touch. She needed it. Her eyes still closed, she whispered:

“Don’t take me back to reality, Will.”

“I just want to take you in my arms. May I?” He whispered back.

She was lost in his embrace and warmth. The moment was magical. Nothing mattered. Neither the past nor the future. They were together that moment and they were happy. Both of them. They could not explain it but they could not deny the sudden joy that overwhelmed them. Elizabeth opened her eyes and they looked at each other. They were smiling. She asked:

“This doesn’t get any better, does it?”

“Oh, yes it does.”

With that, he took her face in his hands. He looked at her for another long moment and then brushed his lips on hers. She sighed with expectation of more. He began kissing her. He was very gentle at first, but then their passion was released and the kiss became a confession of love and need. Since they could not utter the words, they chose another way to show their feelings. His hands were going up and down her back, sending shivers to her spine. Hers were caressing his hair in a way that drove him crazy; their mouths never parting, but continuing to explore and to give. That kiss was about giving, not taking; making the other happy, not thinking of themselves. It was the first time they both experienced what it truly meant to be united, to be part of another. They couldn’t break it because they couldn’t stand the loss that would bring. When their lips finally parted, they remained embraced for a long while, comforting each other. They were unable to speak or to think. They were able only to feel.

“Oh, that was so out of tune!” Caroline laughed.

“I preferred it last year, when you brought the opera singer, Caroline.” Her sister smiled at the memory.

“Really Louisa?” Tony inquired. “You said that it had bored you to death.”

Fortunately Charles had eyes and ears only for Jane and he was spared his sisters’ ridiculous exchanges. Elizabeth found the whole situation highly amusing and wondered how on earth she had ever felt jealous of Caroline. William had a very strange expression on his face, which resulted from his efforts not to show his mirth too openly. Caroline was trying again to bring the conversation to her advantage.

“Only you William managed to sing it faithfully!” She said with eyes full of admiration.

“Caroline, you exaggerate. We’re talking about the ‘Happy Birthday’ song here.” Darcy stated simply.

“Oh, but your talent cannot be hidden. You have a voice without fault.” She continued, while Darcy began to feel uncomfortable with this constant praise. Elizabeth came to his rescue however, replying very gravely:

“That is absolutely correct Caroline. And I am glad that only Mr. Darcy’s voice is heavenly. Otherwise the ‘Happy birthday’ songs would be so faultless that they would inevitably become boring. In cases like this, you know, perfection can be a fault indeed!”

Caroline opened and closed her mouth without being able to articulate any words. She didn’t like this Elizabeth Bennet, not a tiny bit. Somehow she turned all her efforts to seduce Darcy against her. She was not jealous of her of course. She never discerned anything on Darcy’s part to give her alarm. But as for her… She really couldn’t make out what she was thinking or feeling. One moment she was teasing him and the other moment she was looking at him, and there was something unusual in her eyes. Caroline could not recognize what exactly it was, but she didn’t like it. She decided to put up with her, though, as Darcy clearly respected her work. And, since Darcy admired her, so would she.

She returned her attention to the party and noticing that William wasn’t eating the piece of cake she had handed him, she exclaimed:

“Our cook has really outdone herself with this absolutely tasteful dessert. She even tried to find some strawberries, as the recipe suggested, but I talked her out of it. It’s late November after all!”

Elizabeth thought that she heard a noise from the kitchen, but she couldn’t know for sure as she was concentrating on keeping a neutral look. Caroline was oblivious to Elizabeth’s reaction and she announced that it was time they took a picture to remember that weekend. Both Elizabeth and William thought that they could never forget those days but they’d love to have a picture to treasure as well. So, though generally not very keen on being photographed, they showed no resistance this time.

The poor cook was called to help them. Charles and Jane stood in the middle as Darcy and Elizabeth found themselves as far away as Caroline could manage to have them. She grabbed Darcy’s arm and sent Elizabeth next to Tony and Louisa. However, she could not make them not look at each other. Elizabeth, happy and peaceful and very much in love was positively glowing. The moment the cook was taking the picture William looked at her. His gaze was tender and a soft smile curved his lips. His look spoke of love and passion, but nobody could really decipher it. The picture was forgotten for some time.

After the ‘party business’ was over, Charles walked Jane to her room. At the door, he hesitated. He didn’t want to say goodnight; not yet. He had spent a wonderful day by her side and he wanted to make it last forever if possible.

“Jane would you like to see…” He was about to say “the old family albums” but suddenly he understood Jane’s attitude. She was not placid; she was bored but too kind to let him know.

“Oh, Jane, I am so sorry.”

Jane startled. She wondered if she had voiced her thoughts and felt momentarily embarrassed. But Charles took her hand in his and said:

“I am the most selfish man in the world, Jane. I was having such a good time in your company, that the thought that I might have bored you to death never crossed my mind… Collections and photos! Nobody would have born it as well as you did. I swear I will never listen to Caroline’s advice again.”

Jane laughed softly at his look of pure exasperation.

“It was not so very bad, Charles.” And she added in a low voice: “I was happy to be in your company, even if I have never been interested in miniature cars.”

Charles gained courage with this. His heart was beating faster and he looked at her intensely.

“I will do this right, Jane. I want to and I will. Come.” He gave her his hand.

Jane followed him without knowing where they were going. She was not feeling like her usual self that night. Something was happening to her; something that had not happened for years. Her mouth was dry. She thought that she was losing control over her body. It was reacting in a strange way in Charles’ presence. Her heart could not return to a normal beating; her hand, oh she tried so much, but her hand simply refused to leave Charles’; she had no idea where her legs were taking her; her breath became strained; she was mesmerized.

Charles took her outside, for which Jane was grateful. She really needed the cold air on her face. What she actually needed was a cold shower, but there was no way she would admit such a thing to the man who was standing next to her and had awakened old feelings and sensations. It was so long since a man had had such an affect on her that she didn’t recognize the symptoms. She was still under the impression that love did not exist. Had she tried to name what was happening to her, however, only one expression would have been adequate: falling in love.

They walked for some time, hands entwined. They reached a beautiful spot, under a tall tree. Charles spoke:

“It was here where I fell in love with this house. Everyone says that I bought the first one that was available. Perhaps this is true, but without this spot, it wouldn’t have been so special to me. You know, it seems that I am the only one that can find my way here. I am never disturbed. I have always been alone and peaceful. And now you have come with me.” He smiled. “And this is good.”

Jane was unable to say anything, but it was of no importance. She wouldn’t have known what to tell him, even if she could speak. Charles continued. He was used to making declarations and promises, but now it was different. It was sincere. It felt as if he were opening and pouring his heart into hers. And for the first time the utter fear of rejection took hold of him. He was revealing his inner thoughts, his true self to someone and he dreaded that Jane wouldn’t like what she saw in him. He proceeded however:

“Jane, this is not a game. This is not some trifling whim of mine. I may not give that impression, but I know myself very well. And I know that everything changed the day that I met you. I will not make promises; I will not say that I love you, if you are not ready to hear it. But I will wait. I was not a patient man, but patience does not seem difficult where you are concerned. You deserve so much, Jane.”

Jane already had tears in her eyes. And when Charles told her that she deserved his patience and much more she knew she could not keep them any longer. She had forgotten how it felt to have a man striving for her affection. She had forgotten how to explore her own feelings, how to express them. She wanted to protect herself, she couldn’t face another blow. At the same time she wanted to protect and reassure Charles. He seemed so vulnerable, so sincere and sensitive that she wanted to do everything in her power to make him happy.

“Charles, I don’t know what to say.”

He had expected her reaction but could not help feeling disappointed.

“I just need some time to… to…oh, I don’t know. It’s just that I am not ready. Please understand me Charles.”

She seemed like a little girl trying to make amends for having done something wrong. Charles smiled and whispered to her:

“I do. I’ll be right here Jane, waiting.”

They were close and his lips touched her ear and her cheek as he was speaking to her. She began trembling. Charles realized that she needed to feel safe, so he embraced her and hold her in his arms for a long time, repeating:

“Don’t worry my sweet Jane. I can and will make you happy.”

In the meantime, William and Elizabeth were silently praying that the rest of the party would retire soon. Tony and Louisa were sitting in front of the television watching the most boring programs they could find, but Caroline was giving her full attention to Darcy, no matter how little willing he was to receive it. He exchanged desperate looks with Elizabeth and the fifth time Caroline began talking about his fine estate in Derbyshire, he winked at Elizabeth and announced that he was very tired. Caroline was a bit disappointed that she had not had the chance to praise his sister too, as she had originally planned, but she concealed it admirably. So she bid him goodnight with a smile which was supposed to be charming and heartfelt. unfortunately she was not that good an actress. Afterwards she went to bed as well.

Elizabeth wondered what she should do. Obviously William had some plans for the night and she was not at all opposed to the idea. Quite the contrary… But Caroline’s room was – incidentally – next to his and she half suspected that the woman would make things difficult for them. Before quitting the room they had spent their evening in, she cast a look at Tony and Louisa. They had fallen asleep with the television on. She turned it off without waking them and walked to the hall. She passed in front of William’s room and hesitated. Suddenly the next door opened and Caroline appeared wearing a very revealing nightgown. On seeing Elizabeth she laughed nervously:

“Oh, I heard the thunder and was so scared! I was hoping Will could offer me some reassurance.”

Elizabeth did not find it amusing. Alright, she was one of the most annoying persons of her acquaintance and her chatting was insupportable, but the nightgown was VERY revealing; and Will was only human. So, she answered very coolly :

“It’s not even raining, Caroline.”

“Oh, there has been no thunder? How strange! I am sure I heard something.”

Another door opened:

“Perhaps it has been my snoring, Caroline.” William smiled at Elizabeth and gazed at Caroline with contempt. Then he addressed the latter with a very serious expression: “I do apologize, Caroline. It seems that I have caused you great distress. I’ll go to another bedroom. After all you have plenty on the next floor. Is not that right, Elizabeth?”

“Perfectly so, sir.” She smiled at him, now highly amused with Caroline who was on the verge of fainting. “Actually, my bedroom is the only one occupied and there are three bedrooms on the floor.”

“That is very good news, Elizabeth. Caroline, I am relieved that you’ll sleep undisturbed. Goodnight!” And turning to Elizabeth: “Will you show me the way?”

Caroline could not move for ten full minutes after that. But then she recovered and began cursing Elizabeth.

As soon as they were out of Caroline’s sight, Elizabeth squeezed William’s hand and they began laughing making as little noise as possible. Darcy was delighted to see the familiar sparkle in Elizabeth’s eyes that made them even more beautiful. Her smile became teasing, as she whispered:

“Liar! You never snore!”

“Caroline doesn’t know that, and I can safely promise you that she will never learn it.” He replied smiling as well.

“Even if she enters your room naked?” She asked without fearing the answer anymore. She had not trusted him at first, but she was wrong. William seemed totally immune to Lady Caroline’s charms and Elizabeth was determined not to let her ridiculous attitude poison their relationship again.

“Naked?” He looked momentarily disgusted. “Then she is more likely to hear my screams than any sleeping sounds I make.”

They stopped walking in front of her door.

“So, which room best suits you, sir?” She asked.

William didn’t answer immediately. He touched her cheek with his finger; then caressed her face and her neck with soft moves. Elizabeth felt her knees trembling. This affect again! She thought. I am totally at his mercy. When he spoke, his voice was barely recognizable:

“There is only one room that suits me, Elizabeth. Yours.”

“Be my guest.” It was all she could mutter before his lips found hers for a long passionate kiss.

Elizabeth had just exited her bathroom when she heard her phone ringing. It brought her back to reality. Since her return to her house two hours before, she could not stop thinking of Scotland. Back to real life she thought as was picking up the telephone. But she was pleasantly surprised. It was Jane who refused to go back to reality as well, and wanted to talk about Scotland. Both sisters conversed happily for a while, but none told each other what had really made them happy during the trip. Elizabeth found she could not open her heart even to Jane, although she knew that her sister would never disapprove her choice. Everyone else might say: she’s doing everything in her power to be the future editor…or the future Mrs. Very Rich Darcy but Jane could never believe such behaviour possible for anyone, much less for her own sister. Still Elizabeth didn’t open her heart to her. As for Jane, she was so confused, that she didn’t dare to try to explain what was going on in her heart. She could not refrain from mentioning however:

“Lizzy, do you remember that conversation we had after meeting Charles for the first time?”

“I wish I could forget it, Jane.” Elizabeth had not quite gotten over the painful experience.

“Well,” Jane said quietly “That part… where I said I could never love anyone again… that a part of me is dead?”

Elizabeth sighed: “Yes?”

“I think that maybe I exaggerated a bit.”

Elizabeth smiled with relief: “Of course you did, darling. You just have to be a little careful, that’s all.”

“I will, Lizzy.” Jane replied thoughtfully.

“Jane dear, I’ve got to go now. I’ve got an interview tomorrow with a very interesting person.”

“Do I know him?” Jane asked in a playful voice.

“You must know him by reputation…He’s wealthy, he’s gorgeous, he has the female population of London at his feet and he’s a philanthropist as well. He’s the greatest supporter of the Ministry of Education’s projects. Can you guess now?” Elizabeth’s tone was equally playful.

Jane got the hint: “Lucky you! I can’t believe that tomorrow you will be talking to...”

“George Wickham.” Elizabeth finished the sentence for her.

CHAPTER 5

Posted on Thursday, 28 July 2005

Elizabeth thought that she had never had such a good time during an interview before. George Wickham was very handsome, witty, open and kind. He far exceeded her expectations. He had answered all her questions with humour, and had even asked her if she wanted to inquire after his personal life, saying: “I must admit that I hate it, Miss Bennet, but I know that the public is eager to know. And, honestly, I doubt I could deny you anything.” Elizabeth found his smile irresistible and redeemed him with one of her own famous smiles as she assured him that no one expected her to write such things in her articles. They continued talking pleasantly and just before the end of their conversation Elizabeth mentioned his father.

“I know that you must be tired of comparisons, Mr. Wickham, but I would like to hear your own description of him.”

“I am never tired of talking about my love, admiration and respect for my father’s life and work. He was one of the best men I’ve ever known. He was a successful businessman, a true genius and such a philanthropist! His devotion to children was total. The program, ‘Security in public schools’ was his idea! And look how effectively juvenile criminality was reduced! Comparisons with him can only make me proud.” He replied with an earnest look while Elizabeth was thinking of William and his attitude whenever his parents were mentioned. It was not a pleasant thought, so she looked back at her notes.

“So, Mr. Wickham, are you trying to create your own path in life or continue the family tradition?”

“Definitely continue the family tradition.” He answered without hesitation. But when Elizabeth looked at him, something in his eyes gave her a sudden pang of fear. Quickly regaining her composure, she scolded herself for her stupidity and thanked him for his time.

“The pleasure has been all mine, Miss Bennet.” He replied gallantry. “Though, I must say that you took me completely by surprise when you asked for an interview.”

“Mr. Wickham, I didn’t think you were so modest.” She replied, confused. “I doubt that there is any newspaper or magazine in England that is not begging you for an interview.”

“Oh, Miss Bennet, you are mistaken.” He replied with something like bitterness in his voice. “No one who works for Will or his family has ever mentioned my name.”

Elizabeth was almost shocked. First of all: Will? Did they know each other personally? And, secondly, she did work for Will and was informed of no embargo on Wickham’s name. It took her some seconds to recollect her thoughts and ask him in an almost calm voice what he meant by his formidable declaration.

“I see, Miss Bennet. You haven’t asked Will if you could interview me.”

“Mr. Darcy has left the country this morning, so I didn’t find the time to inform him of my exact plans, but he knows that I am writing about the Ministry of Education and its projects.” She answered very gravely.

“That explains a lot, Miss Bennet.” He said wistfully.

“Mr. Wickham, I really do not see…” she began, but he interrupted her immediately.

“Miss Bennet, can I rely on your secrecy? Even though you’re a journalist?” He tried to remove some of the tension.

Elizabeth now thought that she had never been more surprised during an interview, but she assured him of her secrecy.

“I will tell you a story, Miss Bennet, though I wish I could forget it myself. You must know it, however, because I fear that your employer will forbid you to write anything about me. And he will give you no explanation. You don’t need to be afraid of my reaction to such a decision. I will understand it completely. But a woman like you deserves to know.” The look of puzzlement diffused all over her face was almost amusing.

“Will has been my best childhood friend.” He sighed and continued. “Our fathers were the best of friends as well. They had known each other for years. They were together at school and in University. Mr. Darcy was my father’s best man and my godfather. They were truly inseparable until the unfortunate day that Mr. Darcy met Anne Fitzwilliam.”

Not her again! Elizabeth thought.

“Anne was the black sheep of the very, very rich Fitzwilliam family. She refused to attend social gatherings, she left her home and went to live alone in a tiny apartment, she even worked to pay for her studies.” He stated with disgust but Elizabeth found the late Mrs. Darcy’s independence rather charming. After all, this description matched the one she had heard from the people at ‘Meryton’ who had known her. Everyone seemed to love her and admire her exceedingly. Some of them had even told Elizabeth that their styles in writing were alike and that they were both blessed with the same degree of intelligence, honesty and determination. Elizabeth could not but feel uncomfortable, listening to someone abusing her for the second time in three days. Wickham was oblivious to all this, however, and continued:

“When the Fitz.Net announced the union with Pemberley.Net everyone was pleased. You cannot imagine how many billions of pounds this would bring to both Corporations! Oh, no, you can, you are an intelligent woman. Who was opposed to the plan? Anne Fitzwilliam, of course! She tried to fight it, but then she met George Darcy. Well, I have no idea what he found in her, but he fell in love with her. He was completely, totally infatuated. He was trying for months to win her love. Poor man, he had no idea that Anne Fitzwilliam had no heart to lose, that she could love nothing but herself and her stupid ideas!” Wickham’s eyes were blank. Elizabeth sensed so much hatred in his voice that she was really frightened. He sensed her uneasiness and tried to find his former civility.

“I am sorry, Miss Bennet, I let the painful memories get hold of my good manners. It’s just that this cold hearted, ambitious woman has destroyed so many people’s happiness, mine included!”

Why is all this happening to me? Elizabeth thought, wishing she were a girl so she could run away from the room. Wickham had a lot more to add to his story:

“I have no idea why, Miss Bennet, but the fact remains that Anne Darcy never liked my father. She put up with him of course, and let me play with her son, but she never tried to hide that we were not welcome at her home. As you may know, she left her husband and two children without explanation… But you know, they all say how much she appreciated the services of her husband’s chauffer…”

“For God’s sake, Mr. Wickham, we’re talking about a dead woman!” Elizabeth said very sharply.

“You are right Miss Bennet, I am sorry. Whatever may have transpired in that area, the real problem is that her previous venomous attacks to my father were very effective. Our fathers’ friendship was destroyed, as were her children’s lives. My dear Georgiana – Will’s sister you know - so insecure, so unsure of her qualities, so shy! And poor Will! I do not hold anything against him, Miss Bennet. It’s not his fault that he lost the ability to love. He has no idea what love, tenderness, or human contact is. He thinks that women exist only to satisfy our sinful carnal desires, and he doesn’t want his sister to have the same fate.” He sighed, but then noticing Elizabeth, he asked immediately :

“Miss Bennet, are you unwell? You are so pale, almost ready to faint! Here, have a glass of water. I’ll open the window. The cold air will be just the thing for you. There, are you feeling any better?”

“Yes, yes, Mr. Wickham, I am much better, thank you. I am sorry for the inconvenience.” She said weakly. Wickham then apologized for having caused distress with his story and declared that he would stop it immediately, but Elizabeth now really needed to know the end of it. She was so earnest in her request that Wickham had no choice but to provide her with it.

“Eight years ago, Miss Bennet, I met Georgiana again. She was eighteen, but a woman already! She was charming, intelligent, kind and beautiful. Much like you, Miss Bennet; oh no, do not blush now.” Elizabeth had not been blushing; she was red with anger, but Wickham couldn’t have possibly known that. He went on: “ I fell in love with her. Deeply, passionately. She was dating someone else and she looked happy. Later, however, I was informed that he was just playing with her. I had to protect her. I told her the truth and tried to support her as the world was collapsing around her. She had lost her father recently, you know, and I was afraid that she couldn’t stand another blow. I was there for her, Miss Bennet, when her brother was not. I repeat: I do not blame him. His heart was cold; it had been cold since the day his mother had left them. I had the pleasure of watching Georgiana fall slowly in love with me. But when her brother found out that we were dating, he thought that I was trying… oh, I don’t know what he thought, Miss Bennet! Just because I was some years older than her and I had a number of relationships in the past, he could not believe that I loved his sister. He threatened my life should I approach her again and he sent her to the States, all alone and devastated. It’s not his fault, but he continued unintentionally his mother’s plan to make everyone bearing the name of Darcy unhappy!”

A long silence followed this speech. Finally Elizabeth sensed that her legs had regained some strength, so she stood up and gave her hand to Wickham:

“I am very sorry for…” She tried to fight the tears in her eyes, but it was not easy, as she felt every irrational dream she had ever made shattering that very moment. “…for you.” she added, when she wanted to say: for all of us.

If Elizabeth had wanted to protect her sanity, she should have taken the week off and tried to forget everything related to the meeting between Wickham and herself. Unfortunately, her reaction was quite the opposite. Everything she could think of and work on was the interview. She listened to it again and again. She was almost certain that William’s reaction would be the one George had predicted. But an urge she could not fight made her write the article and focus her full attention on Wickham. It was as if she wanted to provoke Darcy. She felt very tired, as if she had no power to fight for a love that would never be truly hers. And every time she thought of Scotland, of the precious moments they had shared, their kiss, their night together, her despair only increased. Things would have been a lot easier without that weekend, because that weekend had given her hope. And now she was mourning for its loss.

William had gone to the States that week. He had called twice and was rather surprised by the coldness in her voice. On second thought he attributed it to the distance. He was too happy to pay attention to details. He had found his sister calmer and happier than ever. He was bringing her back with him for Christmas and his famous cousin was joining them. He had also received very pleasant news from his uncle. Andrew Fitzwilliam had decided that it was time he retired. In two months’ time, William would be the CEO of Pemberley.Net at last. For the first time in years everything was going right in his life. And the remembrance of the previous weekend could only increase his mirth. He was looking forward to his next encounter with Elizabeth.

When he showed up in the office on Friday morning, Elizabeth was perfectly calm. She had already shed many tears and had spent many hours in inexplicable trepidation. She welcomed him quietly and sat in her office waiting for him to call her. She was not at all surprised when Charlotte approached her and whispered somewhat uneasily: “Liz, he wants you in his office. And he doesn’t look very happy. Please don’t lose your temper either.” Charlotte really loved her friend and step-sister but she knew that she didn’t always show the proper respect to the people she considered important. Lizzy smiled faintly and headed to the office. She was finally ready to confront him.

She found him pacing back and forth, anger evident in every feature of his handsome face. “What is this?” He asked not even trying to lower his voice. Elizabeth didn’t care that the whole building was probably listening to them and answered him very calmly:

“This is my article.”

William did not seem very pleased with the answer. His voice was full of irony, when he asked:

“Thank you for the information, Elizabeth. May I be so bold as to ask who gave you permission to interview George Wickham?”

“Is there any problem with that? You gave me your permission to investigate the Ministry of Education’s projects and I thought that an interview with Mr. Wickham would be very enlightening. You have not forbidden me to interview Mr. Wickham or anyone else.”

“Go back to your office and write your article again without the slightest reference to him! Now!”

Elizabeth did not stir. “Won’t you honour me with an explanation?”

“You dare to ask for an explanation? I give orders here Elizabeth! Don’t try my patience. Go, before I lose it!”

“Oh, I see.” She smirked. “Now you’re being patient with me. Well, I would like to make use of your patience and repeat my request for an explanation. It will not be very good for my career to take interviews from the most prominent people in England and not having them published.”

“You shouldn’t have taken the interview in the first place! Who told you to?”

Elizabeth was becoming really angry. He was supposed to be her boyfriend and he was treating her with far less respect than the rest of his employees.

“Usually, I don’t…” she began, but he interrupted her with an angry whisper:

“Just because we’re sleeping together, you can’t do anything you fancy.” He regretted it the moment he had said it, but he had said it and she had heard it.

If a look could kill, this story would end in a few pages, describing William Darcy’s funeral. Even though Elizabeth’s look didn’t kill him, it was effective enough to make his knees tremble. She was staring at him in utter shock and he buried his face in his hands, before mumbling:

“Oh, Elizabeth I’m so sorry. So very sorry. I didn’t mean it. It sounded horrible. Alright, you have every right to be angry. Elizabeth? Are you listening to me? Elizabeth!”

She didn’t move; she didn’t speak. She continued staring.

“Elizabeth, please.” He tried to reach her hand. No response. He moved towards her. That produced an effect at last. She quickly moved away, hissing:

“Don’t touch me!”

“Elizabeth, please, let me explain. I was angry. I shouldn’t have said such a horrible thing.”

“The problem is not that you said it. The problem is that it even crossed your mind.”

“I was angry, ok? We say things we do not believe when we’re angry.” William became defensive but sensing that this was deteriorating the condition, he changed his attitude once again.

“Elizabeth.” He resumed softly. “Please sit down. I will tell you everything. I promise. I had hoped that I would never have to look back – it’s just too painful.” He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes at the memory. Elizabeth sat down, but her expression lost nothing of its harshness.

“I will relate you my history with that man.” He began, but she interrupted him. Now her voice was full of irony.

“Oh, lucky me! I’ll have yet another version. At least you both agree in something: You hate Anne Darcy.”

William couldn’t hide his surprise: “What has she to do with that?”

“You, boys, seem to consider her responsible for every failure in your lives. Well, she left twenty years ago! Get over it! Get a life and stop finding idiot excuses.”

William’s look had lost every trace of tenderness. There was almost rage in his eyes.

“I am very disappointed in you, Elizabeth. I thought I knew you better; I thought that you could react like an adult. You can’t forgive a mistake. You’re just trying to hurt me back as much as possible. I will not indulge you, Elizabeth.”

Now, we’re coming to the point, She thought and got ready for the rest.

“We must have a very serious talk about what’s going on between us, but it’s not the time, nor the place.” He continued with a voice as cold as ice. “However, I will tell you what the problem with Wickham is, because I do not stand being accused so grossly and unjustly. And you will listen to me, Elizabeth.”

She wanted to leave, but she didn’t. Maybe it’s our last intimate conversation.

“Wickham and I were friends as children, as our fathers were. After my mother left us, our fathers had a fight over something. I have no idea what exactly it was, but my father warned me against his family. My father may not have been tender and we never knew what exactly he had in his mind, but he never lied to us. Perhaps he didn’t tell us the whole truth; but he never said lies.

”Eight years ago, my sister started dating someone and she seemed very happy about it. I was a bit worried, since she denied giving me the slightest information about him, but I remained silent. Wickham, however, got in her life as well and he did not remain silent. He managed to separate them by constantly abusing her friend. Georgie was devastated and very vulnerable. I was not there for her, and I will never stop feeling self-remorse for that. Anyway, I found out that they she and Wickham were dating. Georgie was not too enthusiastic about it. It was as if he was pressing her psychologically, as if he was trying to gain power over her. I recalled my father’s warning but I couldn’t act upon it. What could I tell her? I must admit I am not good at talking. I had never been Georgie’s confidant and besides I had no evidence.”

He winked again, as he was obviously approaching the hardest part:

“Well, the evidence came. Someone, a slight acquaintance of mine, in fact, decided to warn me. He informed me that Wickham was just trifling with Georgie, as much as her ex-boyfriend did… They…” He stopped to regain his breath, and then went on, speaking as fast as he could, to be done with it: “Everything was about a bet, between Wickham and her boyfriend. Ten thousand pounds for my sister’s innocence! What do you think about that?”

Elizabeth made no response.

Continued In Next Section

© 2005 Copyright held by the author.