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Part XIII

Posted on Sunday, 16-Aug-98

New York City: August 11, 1994.

hea's life revolved around Andrew after that first date. Against her parents wishes, she found a job with a temp agency in New York City instead of working for her father at his law office in Montclair. She had to wake up at 5:00 each morning just to make it to the station in time to catch the train. For Thea this was not easily done and she frequently had to be woken up by a fellow passenger once the train arrived at Penn Station. But she willingly sacrificed sleep in order to spend a few hours in the evening with Drew at his apartment before rushing for the last train to New Jersey. Her parents had insisted on this: she was to come home every evening and would be required to spend the entire weekend at home. There would be no sleeping over at a strange young man's house, regardless of the fact that he was their new son-in-law's best friend.

Drew, surprisingly, accepted those conditions with more humor than Thea. He seemed to be grateful for any time that she could spend with him and went out of his way to make their evenings particularly enjoyable, often having dinner ready for her when she arrived at his door. If he was frustrated about Thea's quick acquiesence to her parents rules, he never told her about it. She, however, was especially bitter about their rule regarding weekends and spent Friday and Saturday nights either sulking unhappily around her parents or on the telephone with Drew.

It was on one of those Friday nights that Drew called her, very excited about an offer that he had just received that day.

"I've got a job!" he shouted.

"That's wonderful!" Thea said, genuinely happy to hear his news. She had watched him closely over the last two months and could tell that he was beginning to worry about his ability to put his just completed degree into effect. "What will you be doing?"

"It's a assistant directorship," he elaborated somewhat.

"With whom?"

"I don't think that I've mentioned the director to you before, but I really admire his work," Drew went on.

"What's the film about?" Thea asked.

"Well, the plot is somewhat hard to explain, being a stream of consciousness sort of thing --" he began, fumbling around somewhat.

"You don't have to bother to explain it, if you'd prefer not to," Thea interjected. "When do you start?"

"Next week," he replied, excitedly. "That doesn't give me much time to get everything ready, but --"

"What do you need to get ready?" Thea asked.

"Well, packing mainly," he said.

"Packing!" Thea exclaimed, suddenly worried. "Why do you need to pack?"

Thea listened intently during the long pause in their conversation, a small chill of fear starting to develop in her stomach. She wanted to hear that he was only going to be packing for a short time and that he would be returning very quickly to New York City but as the pause extended into an unbearable silence, she began to realize that a much larger move was in the works.

"Oh no," she whispered, surprised that she hadn't asked earlier where the job was located. Why had she been so confident that it wouldn't alter her life with him in any way?

"It's in L.A." he whispered back in confirmation.

"You're moving," Thea said dully.

"Yes."

Thea wanted to put the receiver down and flop down on her bed in tears, but remained upright, clutching the phone with one hand.

"Are you still there?" Drew asked softly.

"Yes." Thea managed.

"You don't want me to go, do you?" he asked.

"No," she said and then immediately felt compelled to qualify it. "It's not that I don't want you to be successful. I do! I just hadn't considered --"

"That I might have to leave New York in order to that?"

"I don't know why I didn't think about that," Thea mumbled.

"Well, we've never spoken about it," he said, sounding as unhappy as she. "Which wasn't fair. I guess that I've just been so happy these last two months that I haven't thought about the time --" he drifted off, as if he didn't want to speak the last.

"Coming to an end?" Thea supplied bitterly.

She listened as Andrew inhaled slowly, almost as if he were gathering courage to agree with her. "You know, it doesn't have to end," he said carefully.

"You mean a long-distance relationship?" Thea asked.

"No," Drew said slowly. "You could come with me."

Thea gasped audibly, awed by the thought.

"Thea?" he called, sounding worried. "You don't have to decide right now, you can give it some thought." Then, rushing on as if afraid to lose courage, "But I think that you know as well as I do that we belong together. I've never felt this way about anyone else and I'm pretty sure that you feel the same about me."

"But --" Thea began, beginning to think about the challenges of moving to the other side of the country.

"I know that it sounds daunting, but we'd work through those problems together. I'd much rather face difficulties with you next to me."

Thea gulped.

"Thea, I love you and I'm sure that you love me as well. We deserve to be together. We deserve to be happy."

Thea didn't trust herself to respond just yet.

"We wouldn't have to get married yet, if you think that it's too soon." Drew went on practically. "But I do want to marry you."

"You're proposing!"

Drew nearly laughed, "Yes!" he exclaimed

A very tiny tickle of happiness began in her stomach. It wasn't what she had expected at all and certainly didn't bear any resemblance to the proposal of her dreams but she knew that Andrew was the only man she could imagine as a husband. She embraced that thought with a certainty that banished all other fears. Of course she'd move to L.A. with him.

"Yes?" Thea said, the uplift at the end of the syllable making it sound more like a question than a confirmation.

"Did you say yes?" Drew asked.

"Yes!" Thea nearly shouted. "Yes!"

A few moments later, realizing that her parents would have to be told, they decided that Drew would take the next train out to Montclair so that they announce it together. Thea hung up the phone, nearly singing with happiness. Without thought, she floated downstairs and into the kitchen where her parents sat. She walked over to the basket of fruit on the table, selected a ripe peach, and bit into it with satisfaction.

Her parents were surprised to say the least. Thea had been sulking around the house since she had arrived home from work that afternoon. Thea's mother eyed her daughter skeptically and looked over at her husband.

Thea's father was more straightforward. "Did you have a nice conversation with Andrew?" he asked formally.

"Oh!" Thea jumped, somewhat startled by the sound of her father's voice. "Yes," she said slowly, not wanting to reveal too much.

"And what did he have to say?" Asked her mother, taking up her husband's line of questioning.

"Um --" Thea hedged, "Not much." She didn't want to tell them their news before he arrived, but maybe she should tell them that he was coming. "He wants to come out and see you tonight," she finished, trying to keep her tone light.

"Really?" Her father looked skeptical.

"Yes," Thea squeaked, revealing to him more than she wanted. Thea's father had been a trial lawyer for quite some time and always knew when there was more of a story to be had. Once he had percieved that, he would dig until he had unearthed the rest.

"It must be something very important to bring him out to Montclair at this time of night," her mother added. "Is it something important?"

"Um --" Thea hedged. She didn't know how to answer that question innocently and without lying. She had never been able to lie to her parents.

They managed to get the entire story out of her very quickly after that. Not suprisingly, they were not overjoyed to hear about it. What did surprise Thea was how opposed they were to Andrew. To them, he was a very questionable character: a long-haired artist with no significant plan for making money, hardly anybody compared with his friend David. And didn't she recall the fact that they had only been together for two months? Surely she didn't know him as well as she thought she did! They couldn't bear to think of their Thea on the other side of the country such an unsteady person.

Eventually their personal attacks on Drew changed to suggestions that Thea consider what kind of job she would be able to find without further education. Did Thea want to work as a temp for the rest of her life? Wouldn't she much prefer going back to school? Her parents graciously offered to pay, which was a carrot that they would not be able to dangle if she were to move to California.

Thea's resolve collapsed completely when her mother pointed out that she was much more apt to become a liability to Andrew rather than an asset. She didn't want to drag him down by not being able to support herself, did she?

By the time she was to pick Drew up at the station, she had agreed to tell him that they should to wait a few years.

Andrew could tell that something was very wrong as soon as he stepped off the train. Thea looked miserable. "Thea, what's wrong?" he asked, gathering her into his arms.

Thea looked up at him and had no idea of how to begin. "I --" she started.

"What is it?" he asked, eyes full of concern.

"I think that we should wait." she started.

He pulled back in surprise, "Wait for what?"

"Well --" Thea hedged, not exactly sure what they were waiting for either. "I just want to be sure --" she tried.

It was the wrong argument to make. "You aren't sure?" Drew said. "You aren't sure that I'm the right one?"

"I --" Thea realized her mistake, but wasn't sure what to say in order to correct it. Every part of her screamed out to her that he was the right one. She didn't need to wait for further proof.

Andrew took Thea's hesitation as confirmation and reacted to it. "How can you say that!" he said, his eyes full of hurt and confusion. "Two hours ago, you were as sure of it as I am. What happened?"

Thea didn't know how to explain what had happened.

"Your parents," Drew assumed, "They helped you to change your mind, didn't they?" His hurt and confusion quickly changed to anger. "I'm sure that they can be very persuasive! Did they try to tell you that you didn't know me well enough to go halfway around the world with me? Did they try to tell you about all the difficulties that we might face there?"

Thea's face crumpled.

"That's just what they did, didn't they?" Drew nearly shouted in exasperation. "I thought that you had more courage. Of course we will face hard times, but we will be facing them together! Time isn't going to change that!"

"Drew, please --" Thea began.

"No, Thea, if you aren't certain --" he said, and pushed against the door that led into the station. Thea chased after him as he crossed the waiting room in the direction of the other platform.

Thea watched as a train bound for New York began to pull into the station. "No!" How was it possible that one should be come along at the worst possible moment. "Andrew!" she screamed after him as he walked through the door and onto the other platform.

She rushed after him and was just in time to watch him disappear into one of the train cars. "Come back!" she heard herself plead urgently, running along the length of the train and looking for him in each window. She couldn't find his face. He must have settled into a seat on the other side of the car.

Thea rushed back into the station and up to the ticket counter, rifling through her purse in an effort to gather enough money for the fare. Her hands fumbled clumsily and, in her haste, she spilled out half of the contents of her purse onto the floor. "Oh!" she exclaimed.

The stationmaster looked on unhelpfully. "The train's leaving, miss." he stated.

"I've got to get on that train!" Thea shouted back, attempting to gather up her belongings and find more change at the same time.

"There'll be another."

Chapter XIV

Nantucket Island, MA: June 23, 1998

Thea volunteered to babysit Little David that night in order to give Diana and David a chance to enjoy an evening out. Amy, the au pair from South Dakota, also had the night off. That young woman had managed to make a few friends among the other young nannies and mother's helpers that were staying on the island and had planned to go out on a group date with three of them. Diana, acting on her new maternal impulses, had cautioned Amy against becoming too friendly with any local boys, drinking, smoking, or driving too fast. She also established a ridiculously early curfew, one that she would ensure that Amy wouldn't have enough time for anything too fun. Thea watched Diana's lecture to Amy with amusement. She remembered the days when her sister had enjoyed all of those things and had broken curfew in the process. It was strange to see how quickly the birth of a child could change a person's perception. Diana had even made poor Amy go back into her room and blot off half of her makeup before she could leave the house.

Mother Diana placed Little David in his crib and made sure that he was fast asleep before she was willing to even consider leaving the house. Then it took her almost an hour to get ready. Her husband was left to pace the floor waiting hungrily for dinner. By the time that they walked out of the door, Thea was very grateful to see them go. She found herself looking forward to the relative solitude that an evening alone with a sleeping Little David would afford.

Thea poured herself a glass of fruit juice and sat down on the sofa next to her vase of roses. She smiled to herself and fingered one of the buds, allowing a petal to break off from the stem. She felt the velvety texture of the petal and thought of Connor. He had called earlier that evening, giving her the opportunity to thank him for the flowers. Thea smiled as she remembered their conversation. It was obvious that he was looking forward to seeing her again next week and only flew back to Los Angeles to tend to business that he couldn't take care of over the phone. He told her about the film that he would begin casting tomorrow and she told him about her visit to the set of 'The Pirate Queen.'

"Did they get anything done today?" he had growled good naturedly.

"Crystal was chased by two men and kept on ducking behind a row of barrels." Thea described.

"Do you know how many takes they took?" Connor asked.

"No," Thea admitted. "I didn't count. And Roslyn kept on getting frustrated every time Crystal ruined her make-up or ripped her dress."

"Which, with Crystal, is almost every time," he had chuckled and Thea laughed with him, feeling the warmth of his presence come through the phone line.

"I'll see the rushes tomorrow anyway," Connor had said, releasing her from having to describe anything further. Thea had been glad for that. She wasn't quite sure what else she could have told him. She wouldn't want to get Roslyn in trouble for her continued attempts to get back at Crystal by sabotaging her face and she certainly wasn't going to reveal the fact that she had learned that Scott was in love with Crystal, if Connor did not know that already.

And that was all that she had seen that afternoon. It had been pretty boring and Thea was glad when Diana made the choice to leave. Andrew had not acknowleged their presence, although he had a number of opportunities to do so as the down time between takes multiplied due to Crystal's fearlessly energetic performances and careless handling of her costume. Drew would either go into a huddle with the others around the camera or wander off towards the refreshment tent whenever Crystal was sent back to the makeup truck. His studious avoidance of her annoyed Thea more than she wanted to admit, and she had even mentioned it to her sister on their drive back home.

"Didn't you think it was odd that Drew didn't even walk over to say hello?" Thea had asked.

"But he did," Diana had replied. "Don't you remember?"

"No!" Thea had said, sounding more vehement than she had wished. "He didn't!"

Diana thought for a moment. "Oh! You were visiting Roslyn at that time," she recalled. "He said hello to me."

"Oh," Thea had said in response and felt strangely frustrated by the fact that he made a point of talking to her sister but not to her.

Thinking back on it while relaxing in the quiet solitude of the house empty of all but the sleeping baby, she still felt confused by his behavior. She realized that she was being irrational and ridiculous. Why should it matter if he spoke to her at all? They hadn't spoken in four years. She knew almost nothing of his life during that time and she was sure that he knew even less about hers. They were practically strangers again.

Maybe that was what hurt. After becoming so close four years ago, it was painful to realize that she no longer knew him at all. Equally painful was the realization that he didn't even wish to make her acquaintance again.

Thea angrily brushed that thought away. What did it matter if he didn't want to speak to her? Surely it didn't matter to her now, just as she was on the brink of learning to enjoy herself again? She shouldn't care if he attached himself to a hundred hearltessly shallow Hollywood starlets, all with a endless supply of charm and a limited amount of deep feeling. It would only be he who was hurt in the end. Thea would remain untouched by it.

But she remembered a different Andrew Carroll, one that had been capable of reading her thoughts just by looking closely at her. She hadn't needed to speak a word for him to understand what she was feeling. How could someone with the ability to perceive all that was inside of a person not be able to recognize the hollowness of Crystal Sloane? Or was she being unfair? Surely there's some worthy substance inside every person.

Thea was shaken out of her disturbing thoughts by the sound of Little David's whimperings coming over the baby monitor. Thea watched as the light display grew bigger as Little David's tearful crying gathered momentum. The baby was waking up.

"Oh Lord!" Thea sighed, jumping up and running towards the nursery. She wasn't prepared for this contingency. Little David had been sleeping well into the night for a week now. He wasn't supposed to wake up this soon!

By the time that Thea had arrived in the nursery, Little David's face was starting to turn red and his cautious whimpers had revved up into a persistent howl. Thea turned on the light next to the crib.

"Oh David," Thea started to soothe, patting him lightly on the back.

He rolled his head towards the sound of her voice and balled up his little fists. They started to wave angrily.

"Oh no!" Thea whispered, bending down towards him.

David's eyes focused on Thea for half a second and then glazed over with a lack of recognition. His howl grew into a shriek and he scrunched up his face in anger. He let out a cry that sounded too much like 'Mommy' to be mistaken for anything else. But he hadn't begun speaking yet, had he?

"No, David." Thea pleaded, "Mommy's not here."

David ignored Thea and unhappily pushed his head into the corner of the crib.

"Oh honey," Thea said, a feeling of desperation welling up within her. "You weren't supposed to wake up!"

David continued to cry mournfully.

Thea reached into his crib and reluctantly picked him up. He arranged himself of her, his head flopping tiredly onto her shoulder and his fists beating against her chest.

"Oh sweetie," Thea whispered trying to sound calm, "Go back to sleep."

Thea paced the floor with Little David and tried bobbing him up and down. When that didn't work, she tried rocking him in the chair. She tried singing him a lullaby and reading him a story. David continued to howl.

"Did Mommy leave a bottle in the refrigerator?" Thea asked him after abandoning the bedtime story. She hadn't thought that he might be hungry. "Let's go look."

Thea made her way to the kitchen and rifled through the refrigerator until she found an unused container of milk. One handed, she unscrewed the cap and put on a nipple, praying that it was recently sterilized. She knew that they had sterilized a few that morning.

"Here, David," Thea said, trying to shove the nipple into his angry mouth. David puckered up his lips in frustration and refused to drink.

"Oh! It's too cold!" she realized and went over to the microwave. She unscrewed the nipple and placed it into the oven, attempting to remember for how long Diana would heat it. "Fifteen seconds?" Thea questioned Little David, while punching in that time.

The fifteen seconds seemed to stretch into thirty as she waited for the bottle to warm with the still belligerent Little David. When it was finished, she screwed the nipple back on and tried to test the temperature by flicking a few drops onto her arm. It didn't seem warm at all.

Thea sighed unhappily and offered the bottle back to the baby. He showed no interest in it whatsoever. David's mouth opened widely and he let out a louder wail. Thea dropped the bottle into the sink and winced at the noise.

"Oh, David what are we going to do?" she asked, trying to comfort him by stroking the sparse hair on his head. She opened the screen door and walked out onto the porch, attempting to hear the waves over Little David's whine. "Listen to the waves, honey," she suggested. "Don't the waves sound lovely?"

David did not seem to hear her or the ocean.

Thea looked around, feeling completely helpess and wishing that she hadn't told Diana that she was ready to handle an evening alone with her nephew. She racked her brain trying to remember the name of the restaurant where Diana and David were eating.

She perched on the edge of a deck chair and rocked back and forth, beginning to panic. How was she going to get him back to sleep?

With the ear not next to David's unhappy face, Thea heard the neighbor's screen door slide open and someone step out. Surprised, she glanced over at the Carroll's porch and saw the dim figure of a man look in their direction. He reached back into the house and turned on the porch light. The bulb overhead illuminated and she recognized Andrew.

"Oh!" she said, startled. Then, suddenly realizing that the baby's crying must have disturbed him, she stood up and rushed back towards her own door. It was stupid of her to come outside and wake up the neighbors. "I'm sorry!" she called back as she went through the door and closed the glass behind her.

David continued to wail as she walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. Was Drew staying next door with his parents? Why? She understood that all of the crew members were staying together at an inn downtown. Crystal was staying there, wasn't she? Why wasn't he with her?

Her thoughts were interrupted by a loud knock at the front door. Thea looked at it, confused. Could Diana and David or Amy have forgotten their keys? Without thinking further, she walked over and opened it up.

But it wasn't Diana, David, or Amy that stood on the front stoop, but Andrew again. She should have known better than to answer the door. "Is he here to yell at me for not keeping David quiet?" Thea wondered to herself and, reaching that conclusion, reacted accordingly. She scowled at him defensively, daring him to complain.

"Give me the baby," Drew said calmly.

"What?" Thea returned.

"Let me have Little David," Drew repeated.

Thea looked at him, incredulous. What did he want with Little David?

"Why?" she asked.

Drew scoffed loudly, "Why do you think?" And before Thea had a chance to process that question, he shot back another, "What do you think that I'm going to do with him?"

Thea didn't know how to respond.

David's screams changed in character and Drew reached for him. "Give him to me," he said as he grasped him around the middle and began to raise him off of Thea's shoulder. Thea let go and watched as Drew brushed past her and into the house, sat down on the edge of the sofa, and placed Little David over his knees.

"What are you doing?" Thea's voice raised hysterically as she imagined the palm of Andrew's hand raising up to spank the child.

But Drew didn't do that. His hands remained wrapped around the baby's middle, holding Little David while he bounced him lightly, the baby's stomach connecting with his knees.

Thea watched as Little David's plaintive cries grew quieter and calmer. His erratic breathing grew regular and his fists began to still. Andrew was soothing him back to sleep.

Thea watched him from the door in amazement. "How --" she began.

Drew looked back over at her.

"How --" she began again.

"Why don't you shut the door," he said in a whisper, mindful of the baby sprawled on his lap.

Thea realized that it was still opened and pushed it shut with as little noise as possible. Then she walked a few paces closer to him. Little David continued to breathe softly.

"How did you know to do that?" she asked.

Drew looked up at her and raised an eyebrow. "Didn't you see my first film?" he asked.

Thea thought about the videotape that she had destroyed last month and blushed deeply.

"I --" she began, "I bought it on video."

"But did you watch it?" he probed.

"Uh --" Thea hedged.

"No?" Drew supplied.

"No." She admitted, beginning to feel embarrassed. She remembered gleefully crushing the video under her feet, jumping up and down on it until it was nothing but a tangled mass of tape and shards of black plastic. Why did that seem utterly childish to her now?

Thea looked over at him and thought that she could see confusion playing across his face. Did he expect her to have seen all of his films? Two weeks ago, she had inadvertently admitted to knowing that he had been filming in Ireland just before coming to Nantucket. Wasn't that some sign to him that she had continued to follow his career? He looked away just as she began to sense that he was somewhat hurt by her response.

"It was about the Dionne Quintuplets," he explained. "Child labor laws forced the production company to hire at least two baby actors for each character. My studio decided to hire three."

Thea did the math. "Fifteen babies?" she asked incredulously.

"Fifteen," Drew agreed, a tired smile playing across his face. "Most of them were triplets in order to have some similarity in appearance. When one started to cry, they all started to cry. The stage mommies couldn't cope with all of them. I hired a nurse from a maternity ward and learned to help out as well." He shrugged, "This is a trick she taught me. Sometimes it works."

"I'll say," Thea whispered, grateful.

"Do you want to try to put him back in his crib?" Drew asked.

Thea nodded and walked over to pick the baby up from his lap. Slowly, trying not to wake the baby up, Thea lifted him off of Drew's knees. She carried him into the nursery, not bothering to change his position from the horizontal. Thea carefully arranged him in his crib, placing a rolled up blanket under one side so that he couldn't sleep on his stomach. The baby stirred, but didn't wake up. Thea turned off the light next to the crib, turned towards the door, and bumped into Drew.

"Oh!" she said, not realizing that he had followed her into Little David's room.

"Sorry," he said and let her pass by.

Thea emerged from the nursery in front of him, beginning to feel disturbed by his presence. Now that the crisis with Little David was over, what was she to do? What did he expect from her?

"I appreciate your help," she said stiffly, assuming thanks were in order. "I didn't know what to do."

"You're welcome," he returned with equal formality, following her down the hall and back into the living room.

She reached the center of the room and considered what to do next. She turned towards him, "Can I offer you something to drink?" She glanced over at her forgotten glass of juice sitting next to the vase of roses. "Orange juice? Apple?" She searched her mind for other choices. What did they have to drink?

"No, I'm fine," he negatived quietly, taking a long look at the flowers. Thea wondered if he realized who had sent them to her. She blushed at the thought, strangely embarrassed by the thought that he might know, and looked away from both him and the vase.

"Did Douglas send those?" he asked, his voice spitting out Connor's name as if it were a bitter pill.

Thea glanced back sharply, anger beginning to rise. "Yes," she said, trying to keep her voice calm. What was it to him who sent her flowers?

Thea watched as he shook his head sadly, an odd half-grin pasted on his face. His expression was condescending to say the least, as if he knew something about Connor Douglas that she should have seen as well. She read a sense of disappointment in his features, as if she had proven herself to be too much of a child to percieve Connor correctly. That thought galled her.

"Be careful, Thea," he said, looking at her levelly, his eyes not wandering from her face. Thea gulped involuntarily. She had almost forgotten how extraordinary the color of his eyes were, a blue so deep that it was almost black. But this time, Thea took no pleasure in looking into them. His eyes on her face was a familiar gesture, too familiar for her. She didn't appreciate his assumption of that level of intimacy. They no longer knew each other. He had no right to warn her away from Connor.

"I think that I can take care of myself," she returned loftily.

"Can you?" he questioned.

"Yes!"

"You don't know him like I do!" Drew furthered. "He's not a man who enjoys --" he searched for a term, "Long term relationships."

She wondered for a moment if that was a euphemism that stood for something more seedy but decided to take it at face value. "If you believe that I'm interested in a 'long-term relationship', then you don't know me as well as you think you do!"

"Oh, so you're out for a little fun as well," Drew said, disbelieving.

"Maybe I am!"

"Then you've changed a great deal!"

"Maybe I have!"

"So this is just a little fling for you as well, because I can assure you that it doesn't mean anything more to Douglas!"

Thea couldn't make out what offended her more. Andrew's calling it a fling, his assumption that he knew all there was to know about Connor Douglas, or his assumption that he still understood her. She took a deep breath before responding.

"Whether or not this is a 'little fling', as you put it, or something else is not your concern," she said icily.

"I don't want to see you get hurt --" he began.

"I'm not going to get hurt!" Thea interrupted.

"Oh really?" he mocked cruelly.

Thea drew back, stung. Then, she drew herself up taller and retaliated in anger. "Which is more than I can say for you!"

"For me?" Drew said.

"Yes!" Thea lifted her head, daring him to contradict her. "One of these days you're going to wake up, look over at Crystal, and realize that there's nothing there!"

"Nothing there?" Drew exploded.

"Nothing there," she repeated, more calmly than she felt.

"You don't even know her!"

"Oh!" Thea fumed, "I know that she's reckless but lacks real courage. She takes risks in order to be the center of attention, not out of any real necessity. I know that she's charming, but uses that charm to manipulate people, keeping other men dangling on a line, hoping for any return of affection or, at the very least, appreciation --" Scott's besotted face leapt into her mind, but she wasn't about to name him.

"You're assuming things based on a two day acquaintance! Who gave you the right to judge Crystal?" Drew spat back.

"Obviously the same person who gave you the right to judge Connor!" she returned. "If you think that I'm assuming too much about Crystal, just remember that you might not know Connor as well as you think you do!"

"Oh, I've known Connor for quite some time!" Andrew's voice rose.

"But you don't know me!" Thea interrupted.

The last shocked Drew into silence. Thea breathed deeply, exhausted by the argument. She looked at him closely and saw that he was having difficulty accepting what she said as true. She watched him struggle with it.

"It's not surprising." she said dismally, "Four years have passed. We've both changed a great deal. I'm not the same person you knew then and you certainly aren't the man that I -- " she stopped, not able to go on with that thought.

"I guess so," he said.

Thea went over to the door and opened it for him, a unmistakeable cue for him to leave. "Thank you again for your help with Little David." she said.

Andrew shook his head sadly and walked over to the the door. "You're welcome," he said and passed through.

Thea closed it, not bothering to watch him walk away.

Part XV

Posted on Thursday, 20-Aug-98

Nantucket Island, MA: June 30, 1998

Thea was no less angry at Andrew when she woke up the next morning, or the morning after and, a week later, she knew that there was to be no dissipation of her strong feeling against him. Nothing seemed to able to moderate it or even smooth the sharp edges away and, while she didn't feel anything as intense as loathing, it was a definite pointed dislike. His words of warning about Connor Douglas were infuriating and were completely based on incorrect assumptions -- if not about Connor, then definitely about Thea. How dare he think that she was expecting something deeper than Connor was planning to offer! Was it really so difficult to imagine that all Thea wanted was an interesting little summer fling, no strings attached? After spending the last four years loving a man who was lost to her, the last thing that she wanted to do was fall in love again! Besides, she was going back to her little classroom in Tenafly in the fall. Connor Douglas would be miles away by then.

Actually, the very last thing that Thea wanted was to be forced to see Drew again, but she was destined have that wish thwarted. Nantucket, not a very large island to begin with, was made smaller by the fact that Drew appeared to be staying next door with his parents, not at the inn downtown with the rest of his film crew. Diana revealed to Thea that his mother had insisted upon this. Helen Carroll expected to be given enough time to spoil rotten her only son and had given Andrew strict orders to be home for a home-cooked meal each night at seven. Mrs. Carroll, Thea noticed, was not a woman easily disobeyed.

And, as David and Diana knew nothing about his past relationship with Thea and didn't manage to notice her current discomfort around him, they invited him over frequently. Thea could never tell when she would see Drew sitting with David on the porch or fixing himself a drink in the kitchen. He was invited over for games of cards and Thea was forced to be a fourth at the table. He was invited for walks along the beach and Thea was forced to accompany them. He was invited over for breakfasts and Thea was forced to pour him a glass of juice. He was invited to watch Red Sox games on the television and was invited to view Little David's latest tricks. It was completely unnerving and, if she didn't know better, Thea might have believed that Andrew enjoyed disturbing her.

To be completely honest, the thing that Drew seemed to enjoy more than anything else was bringing Crystal along to these impromptu gatherings. And, as if that weren't enough, Drew seemed to relish pointing out Crystal's finer points. He proudly talked about her sky-diving and bungee-jumping exploits, allowing his stories to illustrate Crystal's abundant well-spring of courage. He elaborated on her generous spirit, listing the number of charities that had been enriched by her caring. It was truly disgusting to see Drew carry on in such fashion, but Thea did her best to act unconcerned. She was quite aware that these allusions to Crystal as a woman of substance were staged entirely for her benefit and didn't want to give him the satisfaction of a response. She could hardly believe that Drew could act so petty and found herself disliking him even more for it.

And it wasn't just Thea's evenings that were ruined by Andrew's frustrating presence, it soon became her mornings and afternoons as well when, in true Lucy Ricardo fashion, Diana had managed to finagle a bit role for herself in 'The Pirate Queen'! Thea was quite surprised by Drew's willingness to employ his friend's wife. Didn't all of the actors have to belong to some union or at least go through some central casting agency? The rules of filmmaking were quite mystifying -- or perhaps the problem was that there weren't any rules. Thea had no idea, but she knew that she would have been happier sunning herself on the porch, favorite novel in hand, instead of keeping Little David occupied on the set between takes or when his mother was in wardrobe and make-up.

Thea didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the perplexing turn of events. If it were any other life but her own, she would have found hilarious the fact that the she was forced to spend large amounts of time in the presence of the one person that she would most like to avoid! Unfortunately, it was her life and there was no running away from it or Andrew.

Thea had to admit that visiting the film shoot with Diana and Little David provided quite a few moments of comic relief. Roslyn kept up her subtle subterfuge on Crystal Sloane's beautiful face and Scott continued his relentless torture of the overeager rookie that only he called Skippy. In fact, his taunting became so incessant that even Thea had to work to remember that his name was really Frankie. It was funny how Scott seemed to have a pet name for almost everyone on the set, including Andrew. Thea was very amused by the note of derision in Scott's voice whenever he referred to Andrew as "Cap'n" and had difficulty keeping from giggling whenever she was in Andrew's presence. Not that she minded the thought of antagonizing Andrew by laughing at him, she just didn't want to get Scott into more trouble than he was capable of getting into by himself.

Thea found Diana's antics equally diverting. She had forgotten that her sister had taken a few acting classes while in college and was completely taken aback when Diana arrived on the set the first morning wanting to know what her "motivation" was. Diana seemed to want time to develop some sort of "inner life" for her character so that she could "emote" properly on film. Diana also thought that it was too bad that she hadn't had more time to do some research into the lives of women during that period of history, she was sure that she wouldn't be able to "ad-lib" lines in the proper style without having first delved into the life of her character.

Andrew, Thea grudgingly admitted, had been very patient with Diana on that day. He actually listened to her concerns and answered all of her questions quite soberly, and without one ounce of humor. It was almost as if he were talking to an eight-year-old child, who's feelings would be irreparably hurt if she thought that someone were making fun of her. Thea knew that Andrew didn't have to be so kind to Diana. No other director would have spent so much time coaching a person who was only there to be an extra in a few of the scenes. Thea was quite embarrassed for her sister and was very glad when he finally sent her into the wardrobe trailer to find something suitable to wear. Thea stayed outside and watched Little David as he slept in his stroller.

Diana had emerged an hour later completely transformed and looking as if she had walked away from revolutionary Paris, complete with wig, hat, shawl and lace fichu.

"Madame DeFarge, I presume?" Thea had asked, dryly. "Where's your testimonial knitting?"

Diana rolled her eyes, "Thea, this isn't A Tale of Two Cities!" she admonished. "'The Pirate Queen' takes place least sixty years before the French Revolution. Didn't you read the script?" Diana plopped down in the actor's chair next to the stroller.

Thea scoffed, "Considering that I'm not acting in it, I saw no need to read the script."

"Oh, it's a wonderful script," Diana had gushed, "Andrew did a lovely job with it!" She peered into the stroller at Little David and started to pull up his blanket, waking the baby up in the process. Little David opened his eyes wide with fright at the heavily made up woman standing over him and started to scream.

Diana was shocked at David's reaction, "David, sweetie, it's Mommy!" she cooed.

That only seemed to upset Little David further. A complete stranger had stolen his mother's voice! He scrunched up his eyes at the thought and howled loudly.

Thea saw the reason behind Little David's fear, "Diana, he doesn't recognize you in that costume!" she nearly giggled. "Take the wig off before he's scarred for life!"

"I can't take it off," Diana wailed, "They glued it on with spirit gum!"

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Thea spluttered, taking Little David away from her sister and trying to comfort him. David, seemingly grateful to his aunt for taking him away from the confusing horror that wasn't quite his mother, settled down immediately and started sucking his thumb.

This upset his mother to no end. "My own son doesn't recognize me!" she had almost wept.

Diana's need for motivation and inner life disappeared after that episode. She became interested only in how quickly they could finish the scene in which she was an extra so that she could go back to being Little David's Mommy. Multiple takes began to infuriate her even more than they did Andrew and Scott. And, if looks could kill, Crystal would have been dead after accidentally ripping yet another one of her petticoats in such a way that it had to be sent back to the wardrobe mistress for mending.

It had been a hideous day for the cast and crew, but Thea, at least, had found it humorous. She also had to admit that the actual film sounded interesting. Diana had brought home her script that night and Thea had stayed up late in order to read it. She realized that the scenes that had already been shot in Ireland depicted Anne's interesting childhood as the illegitimate daughter of a gentleman who divorced his wife in order to marry her mother. Now, the filming was focused on her life in the American colonies: her marriage to the occasional pirate John Bonney and her romance with the confirmed outlaw, Calico Jack Rackham. It was her relationship with Calico Jack that was the major focus of the film. Eventually, Calico Jack would take Anne onto his ship. During a heavy rainstorm, he would be knocked unconscious and Anne would be forced to assume command, even taking to the rigging when a sail needed to be cut down.

It sounded very exciting and Thea grudgingly realized that Andrew knew how to write a gripping story. Just reading the storm scene had made her blood rush. How much more heart pounding was it actually going to be on film?

The storm scene frightened Thea as much as it fascinated her. She had to agree with Connor that it seemed ridiculously risky to actually take a irreplaceable ship and a large cast and crew out during a nor'easter just to get a few reels of film. After reading the script, Thea began to wish that Connor had not agreed to let Andrew attempt it if the right weather conditions came along. She shivered at the thought of the ship going out during an unpredictable storm and hoped that either the "right weather conditions" didn't materialize in the next week or the HMS Rose, the stand-in for Calico Jack's ship, wouldn't arrive in time.

But the Rose arrived in Nantucket Harbor the morning after Thea had finished reading the script and Andrew and his crew were allowed to begin rehearsing on its decks, having finished shooting all of the scenes on land. Thea began to watch the long-term weather reports, strangely apprehensive of Andrew's being able to shoot the storm scene.

Thea's only spark of true pleasure came from the fact that Connor Douglas returned to Nantucket along with the HMS Rose and appeared to be as interested in her as ever. He drove to their cottage directly from the airport, not bothering to check in at the film shoot before their reunion.

If it were possible, he was even more handsome than Thea had remembered. But then, she found herself having difficulty recalling his face during the last week. She hadn't known him long enough for his dark eyes and wicked grin to imprint themselves indelibly in her mind. She was grateful for the chance to study his face again in the hopes that it would be able to achieve a greater degree of permanence in her brain. But she didn't want to stare at him like some love-sick schoolgirl, did she? They were in his car before she felt that it was safe enough to observe him closely.

"Did you miss me?" he asked, a soft chuckle proving the fact that he was quite confident about the answer.

"Did you miss me?" she turned it around teasingly.

"Of course!" he said, "I came back, didn't I?"

"Didn't you really come back to make sure that the film crew weren't spending too much money?" Thea raised an eyebrow.

"Well, that's a lesser reason," he agreed. "Have you noticed any mismanagement of funds?"

Thea didn't think that she would know wasteful spending on a film shoot if it had a neon sign attached to it. It all seemed pretty expensive to her. "Why?" she asked. "Am I to be your spy?"

Connor laughed quickly in response, almost too quickly. Did her question hit the mark more closely than she had realized? Connor negatived it just as quickly, though. "No, Thea you're not my spy."

Thea watched his face for a moment, wondering how to read if he were telling the truth. With Andrew it had been easier. His face reflected all of his emotions. She had known in an instant when he was being less than honest about something. Andrew had known it as well and never attempted to hide the truth from Thea. Including the hurt and anger that last night in the train station, when she had told him that she thought they should wait, and he had left her for Los Angeles.

Thea shook her head vigorously, physically trying to push that thought out of her mind. Why think about it now? It was all in the past.

Connor noticed her shudder, "Unless you want to be my spy?" he asked, interpreting the shake of her head differently. "I hope, at least, you don't mind accompanying me on my inspection of the set."

"Oh!" Thea was startled back into the present. She needed to stop remembering things from the past. "No! I'm really looking forward to seeing the Rose!" she enthused.

"It's a gorgeous ship," Connor agreed, pulling the car into a spot near the harbor. He turned off the engine and scanned the boat filled horizon. "There it is," he pointed into the distance.

Thea followed and could just make out three bold wooden masts standing out from the sea of seemingly thin aluminum posts that were anchored to the smaller sailboats and yachts. Thea felt a tingle of excitement surge through her body and jumped quickly out of the car.

Connor took Thea's hand in his own and they walked together towards the docks. "The harbormaster had to extend the longest dock by fifty feet in order to give the Rose a deep enough berth," Connor explained as he led Thea onto the long wooden dock that led to the ship. "Of course, we had to pay for it."

"This is so exciting!" Thea allowed herself to speak her emotion aloud as they walked past the slips, each with a white fiberglass boat. Thea hardly bothered to look at them. They were all dwarfed by the silhouette of the tall ship. Thea's eyes were set on the deep blue bow, its bowsprit rising majestically out of the water. Even without sails, it was a sight to behold.

They drew closer and Thea nearly gasped, thrilled by the beauty it. It was a stately object, rising and falling calmly with the pulse of the waves. Thea took in the rich blue of the hull and the bright yellow of the planking around the gun deck. And, instead of the shape of a woman, an intricately carved lion served as its figurehead. She stared at it longingly, imagining how it might have been to stand in a harbor filled with such gorgeous creations. She imagined how it must have felt to captain such a vessel. She watched further, feeling herself being pulled in by a powerful feeling of familiarity. It was as if she had seen it before.

"Thea?" Connor interrupted her reverie. "Would you like to go on it now?"

"Oh yes," she breathed, allowing him to lead her towards the gangplank.

She started carefully picking her way up the narrow board with its cleated surface, keeping her hands to the railing and her eyes on her feet. She didn't want to fall overboard before she had the opportunity to see the boat, did she? At the end of the gangplank, a hand, extending from the sleeve of a yellow rain slicker, reached out to assist her. She took it quickly and was pulled onto the boat.

"Welcome to the Rose," a familiar voice sounded in her ear.

Thea looked up and found herself staring up into Andrew's face, a certain amount of amusement playing across it.

In a week's time, Thea had become quite used to being in the same room as Andrew and had even managed to speak politely to him on occasion, but they had always kept their distance from each other. Only once had she found herself standing close enough to accidentally touch him. And now to have his fingers curled over her own! There was too much familiarity in it, too much remembered. She quickly pulled away from his grasp and felt herself begin to blush. The thought that he still could have some ability to make her lose her composure only made her angrier. Why did she always feel so conspicuous when she was around him?

Connor came up behind Thea and possessively put his arm around her waist. "Andrew," he acknowledged. "I see you're already dressed for inclement weather. How do you like the ship?"

Andrew didn't bother to hide his admiration for the vessel. "It's even more beautiful than I had imagined," he said, the tone of his voice soft. He looked around its deck lovingly, eyes coming to rest on the raised quarter-deck and its helm: the province of the captain of the Rose and the other officers in turn.

Connor nodded his head in quick agreement, seemingly impatient to get down to business. "So, what does the schedule look like?" he asked.

Andrew glanced down at his clipboard. "They are loading the equipment on the ship today," he said, looking over at the port side of the ship, where Scott was supervising the loading of cargo. "Tomorrow, we will set up for the storm sequence and run rehearsals."

"When are you going to shoot the fair weather scenes?" Connor interrupted.

"After we finish rehearsing for the storm." Andrew explained patiently. "I want to make sure that we're ready to shoot it as soon as any bad weather moves in." Thea watched as Andrew's jaw hardened and his shoulders became rigid. His expression hadn't changed markedly, but she could tell that he was tensing for a fight.

Thea looked back over at Connor, but could not read any emotion in the handsome features. He stared back at Andrew, allowing an uncomfortable silence to sink in before responding. "Are you sure that you need the storm scene?" Connor said levelly.

Andrew must have known that was coming. He took a deep breath before launching into his arguments with a rapidity that indicated extensive preparation. "We've gone through this before, Connor." he began. "This scene is the climax of the entire film, everything that comes before is a build up to it, and everything that comes after is a result. It's all about Anne assuming her role as a leader during a crisis situation. It's her triumph over the elements, her triumph over rigid gender roles. It shows the mark of her character, her courage --"

Andrew would have continued on, had Connor not interrupted him with a wave of his hand. "That's all fine and good, but it would be better if we shot it on a sound stage. I hate taking chances with an actress of Crystal Sloane's caliber."

Andrew had only one argument to that. "You know as well as I do that this is her wish. She believes in the need to do it this way even more than I do."

Connor remained silent, seeming to consider what to say next. Thea looked at each men in turn and pondered the awkward interaction between them. Was the relationship between a director and a producer always so stilted? It was a wonder that films were ever made if that were the case. She wondered if they had worked together before. Where had they learned to place mutual trust and respect to one side?

Andrew broke into the silence. "You have already said that we could have an extra week of filming to wait on a storm," he reminded the executive calmly. "That's thirteen days, counting this one. If a storm doesn't blow in by then, we'll do it your way. If one does, then we'll do it my way."

Connor would not go back on his word. Thea knew this much about him.

"Right," Connor allowed. "Thirteen days."

Connor and Thea walked along the beach that evening. The sun had begun to set behind them, leaving the ocean waves looking cool and distant. Thea looked down at the sand and attempted to locate some more smooth shards of beach glass. They weren't very apparent in the darkening light. Diana happened to collect beach glass and Thea had been able to find several blue-green pieces before the sun had grown too dim. She held the small offerings to Diana's collection in one hand, her other arm was draped around Connor's waist.

It had been a wonderful evening, although Connor had not been as talkative as he had been the time before. Thea assumed that it had to do with his discussion with Andrew that afternoon. She couldn't think of anything else that it could be, but then she did not know him very well. What other things besides the filming of 'The Pirate Queen' could account for his lack of spirits? She had very little idea what Connor did in Hollywood. Two dinner dates and several phone conversations later, she still felt as if they were only acquaintances. Involuntarily, she sighed at the thought of knowing him so little.

He had heard her. "Thea?" he asked. "Are you all right?"

"Oh!" she started, surprised that her sigh had been audible. She reddened with embarrassment and thought of what to say that would gloss it over. She didn't know why, but she wasn't ready to reveal how she felt to him. "I'm fine, cold maybe." She shuddered as if to confirm that as a fact.

He drew her closer and rubbed bare shoulder with one arm. "I should have made you bring a sweater," he said. "Do you want to go back to David and Diana's?"

Thea remembered how often Andrew had been visiting there recently. It was very likely that he would be there right now, Crystal having taken the day off and flown into Boston for some shopping. Thea made her decision. "No," she said forcefully. "I'd rather stay out here with you."

Out of the corner of her eye, Thea could see Connor's lips curl into a smile. "I'd rather stay out here with you as well," he agreed with her.

Thea felt her heart begin to beat faster, just as it always seemed to do whenever Connor revealed the fact that he was interested in her. It was a delicious feeling to be appreciated by someone.

"So," Thea searched for another topic of conversation, "why did you go into producing?"

"My father was in it," Connor said, matter-of-factly. "I followed him into the business."

"Do you like it?" Thea probed.

"Sure," he said, without hesitating. "What's not to like?"

"I don't know," Thea responded, feeling somewhat embarrassed. "It seems to be a tough job. Too much responsibility. Too many people to deal with." She remembered his conversation with Drew that day. "It can't be easy having to work with so many different personalities."

"No," Connor agreed, "But there are some rewards. I get to accept the Oscars for Best Picture."

"Do you think that it can win?" Thea asked, surprised.

"Probably not," Connor said, dismissing the thought with his eyes. "But it won't make a bit of difference whether the storm scene is shot in an actual storm or not."

"Why don't you want him to do it?" Thea prodded.

"It's too risky and there's no reason to risk so much." Connor replied simply. "Can you imagine what would happen if someone were to be washed overboard or if a piece of The Rose were damaged?"

"Andrew would never forgive himself," Thea whispered, looking away.

"That would be the least of our worries." Connor replied. "Do you remember what happened to the producers of 'Twilight Zone: the Movie' when those two children died in the helicopter accident?"

Thea, with her heart sinking, remembered the horrific crash of the helicopter. Hadn't that been in bad weather as well? The details were sketchy in her mind.

"Everyone was sued!" Connor exclaimed. "Including Steven Spielberg, who wasn't even the director of that particular section!"

"They must have felt horrible!" Thea empathized.

"And they lost their shirts." Connor remarked. His shook his head, "I shouldn't be allowing this."

"Can't you go back on your promise?" Thea asked.

"Not without looking like a fool."

Part XVI

Posted on Tuesday, 25-Aug-98

The (real) HMS Rose

Author's Note: I wanted you to know that there is actually a ship called the HMS Rose. It was the same one that they used for Amistad.

Nantucket Island, MA:
July 10, 1998

Thea opened her eyes that morning to an persistent throb in her temples, which was strange because she hardly ever woke up with a raging headache. Her headaches usually came on in the afternoon, sometime after a lunch period spent refereeing a food fight or taking a telephone call from a disgruntled parent wanting to know why their child had flunked her last test. In fact, Thea hardly ever had headaches during summer break, since they almost always had to do with school.

She was on summer break, wasn't she? Thea opened her eyes narrowly and looked around just long enough to realize that she was still at her sister's cottage on Nantucket.

Thea walked out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. Wetting a washcloth with cold water, Thea placed it over her eyes and tried to think. The last time she had woken up with a headache was the morning after her sangria "party" with Daphne Slocum. Thea groaned as she thought about that evening. She still couldn't believe that she had actually told that busybody all about her relationship with Andrew. Thea remembered the printout of his website that Daphne had given her the following Monday. She also remembered Daphne encouraging her to take a nice vacation to a beach somewhere and forget all about Andrew.

"Brilliant idea, Daphne," Thea muttered sarcastically and wondered what that woman would say if she knew that Andrew happened to be staying in the house next door. Actually, she thought that Daphne would be somewhat pleased. Despite his close proximity, Thea had been able to 'get over' him and 'move on' to another relationship. In fact, it was Andrew's presence that had finally helped Thea to do just that. Of course, Connor's presence had made things much easier as well.

But Connor wasn't on the island at the moment. He had flown back to Hollywood for another few days and wasn't due to return until the end of the week, just in time for the film's wrap party.

The headache asserted itself again and Thea tried to search for an answer to this morning's health mystery. Had she gone out drinking last night? Thea squinted her eyes at the pain and tried to remember. No, she had spent another dull evening at home with Diana, David, and Andrew. The Red Sox had played yet another game last night and, of course, David couldn't seem to watch an inning without his old buddy Andrew. Thea rolled her eyes in disgust. What was it about men and ball games? Why did they feel the need to watch them with a friend? Could they do nothing in solitude? She was glad that she didn't mind spending time doing things by herself. And just how long was the baseball season, anyway?

"Uhhh," Thea moaned painfully, trying to think through a hazy funk. Why in the world had she woken up with a headache? The only other reason she could think of was that there had been a sudden change in the barometric pressure. That always seemed to wreak havoc on her sinuses. "Maybe that's it," muttered Thea as she opened up the medicine cabinet and looked for some aspirin. "Maybe there's a storm moving in,"

That thought sickened her. A storm? Thea quickly found a promising bottle of pain killers and fumbled with the child proof cap. She twisted it open and downed three tablets without water. She dimly remembered something about a storm, but the forecasters had assured her that it was going to move far out to sea before it had reached so far north. She was sure that they had said it was moving out to sea! Thea had become somewhat obsessed with the weather lately.

Head still aching, she attempted to make the cold compress cold again by wetting it under the faucet. Then she moved into the living room and turned on the television set, flipping quickly to the 'Weather Channel' for a report. By this time, she knew the station number by heart.

The meteorologist on the 'Weather Channel' confirmed it. The storm that was supposed to push out to sea had changed track once again. A part of it would hit Nantucket that night, bringing with it moderately bad weather conditions. And, while the weatherman didn't say as much, Thea knew that the moderately bad weather would provide ideal conditions for 'The Pirate Queen's' storm scene!

Thea shook her head, "As if bad weather could ever be moderate," and realized that the film crew had probably already decided to shoot that night. She had noticed that Andrew had become as obsessive a 'Weather Channel' watcher as herself, if for different reasons. Thea had been secretly hoping that he would run out of the extra time that Connor had allotted. Andrew had been nearly begging the sky for rain. Thea realized that he probably already knew about his sudden change of luck. She sighed deeply and felt her headache become more intense. Connor was right: it was such a terribly risky thing to do!

"Is that the Weather Channel again?" Diana asked, entering the room with Little David and coming over to sit next to Thea. "Really, Thea, I had no idea you were so interested in such things! You're almost as bad as those people on those weather bar commercials.

"Yes," Thea replied, ignoring her sister's dig at her interest in the weather. "It looks as if the film crew is going to get their chance to shoot that storm scene after all."

"There's going to be one tonight?" Diana exclaimed. "When is it supposed to hit the island?"

"Around five," Thea replied weakly.

"Well, that's great for Andrew, but horrible for me!" Diana said, unhappily. "Little David's checkup is in Boston today."

Thea realized that her sister would need to be leaving for the airport soon, if she were going into the city that day. "Can't you reschedule it?"

Diana shook her head powerfully. "You don't know this guy! He's one of the best pediatricians in the city. It's very tough to get an appointment at all, the man is booked up weeks in advance! I don't dare cancel it."

"But that means that you might have to stay in the city until tomorrow!" Thea exclaimed, not liking the idea.

"You can stay here by yourself, can't you?" Diana asked, standing up and moving towards the hall. "David, Amy, and I will be back in the morning."

"Is Amy going too?" Thea called after her in a shaky voice.

"Yes," Diana called back, "She wanted to see more of Boston."

Thea placed the no-longer-so-cold compress over her eyes and laid back on the couch. A whole evening without the others and the house all to herself? What would she do? Part of her had dreamed of some time away from the rest, especially somewhere during the seventh inning of last night's game. But another part of her didn't want to be alone. Not tonight. Not during a storm.

Thea drove the four going to Boston to the airport and saw their plane take off into the gray sky. Then she started to drive back to the cottage, deciding to take a detour through the town and pick up a video and some groceries. She wondered to herself if she was just postponing the inevitable: sooner or later she was going to have to return to an empty cottage and a solitary evening. She couldn't think of anything more wretched than having to spend the few hours before going to bed completely without company, nursing a headache, barely dulled by aspirin. Maybe she should just go to bed early?

The rain was beginning to spit down angrily and the sky was darkening prematurely. Thea ran quickly towards the video store, hoping that she could find some movie that might entertain her enough to keep her from worrying. She began to browse through the racks, without a great deal of enthusiasm. She wandered through twice without picking anything up. Nothing looked good enough to select.

Thea remembered a time when there was nothing she enjoyed better than relaxing after an exhausting day at school by watching a decent movie. Was there really nothing to tempt her interest tonight? Was there nothing worthwhile in this tiny island video store?

Or was it she who had changed?

That thought brought her up short. Thea felt her eyes grow wide at the realization that maybe she wasn't so happy being such a solitary creature. She had to admit that the idea of returning to her own quiet apartment in Tenafly that September was about as appealing as returning to her sister's empty cottage tonight. The life that was waiting for her in the fall seemed about as full and rich as a cup of lukewarm decaf coffee. She couldn't imagine even becoming excited about the start of the new school year and learning to know a whole new group of fifth graders. She had been deluding herself if she thought that were enough to make her happy. What was really there for her in New Jersey?

Nothing. Just like there was nothing for her in the video store that night.

She decided to forget about a watching a video and moved towards the door, nearly bumping into the video clerk and her armful of returned tapes. "Sorry," Thea spluttered, feeling even more distracted by her surprising presence in the aisle. She hadn't heard her move closer.

"That's okay," the young clerk replied, placing a tape on the top rack. "Are you having trouble finding something?"

"Oh! No, I've changed my mind," Thea admitted. "There's nothing here I really want to see."

"A few of these movies that Andrew Carroll directed just came back," the girl pointed out, fanning the rest of them out in their place of honor. "They've been even more popular for the last three weeks! We had to order a few more just to keep up with demand."

Thea looked at the display. The clerk had even hand-lettered a sign to go at the top of the rack. Thea found herself looking at them much longer than she ever had allowed herself to do before. There they were: Andrew's career as a director of note lined up before her. Five films in four years, each a significant accomplishment and she hadn't allowed herself to even view one. Thea felt something in her heart drop, a sinking feeling tinged with embarrassment. Why had she been so afraid of watching his films? Was she so afraid of being overwhelmed by her regrets that she couldn't even appreciate his work? Was she afraid of being so angry at his leaving her that she couldn't be objective? That did no justice to her or to Andrew. Where had she learned to guard herself so closely?

"That's a great idea," Thea said, lifting her chin and squaring her shoulders. It was a turning point for her, she could sense it's significance. She didn't want to be angry at him any longer. It had done nothing for her at all. It had just allowed her to stay bitter and kept her from enjoying herself. "I think that I'll take this one," selecting the one about the Dionne Quintuplets that she remembered crushing a month before.

The rain had begun in earnest by the time that Thea had rented the video and picked up a few groceries. She dropped the bags on the passenger seat quickly and jumped into the car, turning on the car, headlights, and windshield wipers in three quick movements. Thea hated to driving in the rain and wanted to be out of it as soon as possible.

She could barely make out the three tall masts as she drove past the harbor. They hadn't put out of port yet, but couldn't mistake the bustle of activity up and down that pier. The teamsters were moving more equipment to the ship and she was able to glimpse the overly tall figure of Scott hustling down the wooden dock with Skippy at his side. Thea hoped that Andrew knew what he was doing.

Thea's clothes were completely soaked by the time she managed to unlock the door to the cottage and get her bags inside, realizing too late that she had never had the occasion unlock the door herself. She had never been without her sister or David to do it for her, which only made her miss the presence of her sister and brother-in-law even more. It took her a full minute of wrestling with the lock before it swung open and allowed her inside. She turned on all the lights in the living room as well as the kitchen, as if that might help the cottage seem less empty.

She quickly stowed the groceries in the refrigerator, leaving out to thaw the tv dinner that was to be her supper. Then, she went into her room to change into warmer clothes. The chill of the summer storm called for a sweatshirt and she had to wrestle the suitcase out of the back of the closet for the warm one she had brought just in case. It took an extra effort to fling the heavy case onto the bed and she grunted under the strain. She sat down next to it and unzipped the top.

The sweatshirt was buried at the bottom of the case and she had to dig through a layer of clothes in order to pull it out. Before she reached it, her hand touched a small paper box. She gasped, knowing instantly what it was, and pulled it out quickly. Her piece of scrimshaw? How could she have forgotten about it? Estimating quickly, she realized that she hadn't looked at it for at least two weeks! Had it changed since then?

Feeling even more apprehensive than she generally did when she went to look at the magical object and half hoping that she wouldn't be able to see a change, she opened the box.

Thea bit her lip to keep herself from screaming in shock. It didn't even look like the same piece of ivory! Time had roughened its surface, blackening it with the dark slashes and dots of an angry rain. The ocean below roiled and buffeted the ship caught between the sky and sea. In fact, the ship was the only thing that had remained a constant. But then she looked at the familiar prow and noticed a detail that had never been clear before. The figurehead, which she had always assumed to be of a woman, was not. In the dark background of sea and sky, the profile was of a lion rearing, claws drawn as if to attack. But that was the same figurehead that was on The Rose, wasn't it?

"No!" Thea closed her eyes, wanting to deny what she had seen. How could she have missed it? The bit of scrimshaw had been showing her the profile of the HMS Rose all this time!

Thea clutched the piece, feeling the angry gouges under the pads of her fingers. She forced herself to open her eyes again and look at it.

Then, as if it had just been drawn, Thea noticed a new detail. The hatched and mottled dark sky allowed a jagged, white trace of lightning to bisect it. But it wasn't the presence of the bolt that made Thea drop the piece of ivory as if it had all the electrical power of that thunderbolt. It was the undeniable fact that the lightning bolt had connected with the mast of the Rose. The Rose was to be struck with lightning tonight!

Thea left it where it dropped. She was already in the hall and rushing towards the front door. She had to convince Andrew not to leave the harbor!

Thea drove faster than she thought safe in such weather. The rain had continued to gain momentum, pounding the windshield of the car more quickly than the wipers could dispense with it. Thea saw brief instances of lightning in the distance and pushed the accelerator a little further, afraid that the ship had already left the dock.

Thea didn't even bother to park the car in a legal spot. She pulled right up to the dock and jumped out of the car, racing down the slippery wooden pier. The gangplank had not yet been pulled away, but she could tell that most of the people involved in the shoot were on the ship. She saw that most of them were now looking her way as she rushed up to them. Thea didn't even care about the spectacle she was making of herself. "Where's the director?" she shouted as soon as she was within range.

Slowly, Andrew himself emerged from the crowd, frowning. He walked down the gangplank and met Thea on the dock, stopping her from running into him by grabbing onto her arms. "What's wrong?" he asked, looking directly at her. "Is there something wrong with David or Diana?"

Thea felt her resolve falter under the piercing gaze of his eyes, now darker than she had ever seen them before. She was frightened, completely scared of what might happen if they were to leave that night. "Don't go!" she spoke her fear out loud, in a voice that couldn't keep from wavering. "Please don't take the Rose out tonight!"

Andrew stiffened and gripped her arms even more tightly. She saw his eyes begin to boil with contempt. "Did Douglas put you up to this?" he hissed.

"What?" Thea faltered.

"You heard me!" Andrew repeated, barely able to moderate his voice. "This is some last ditch effort on Connor's behalf, isn't it?"

"No!" Thea protested.

"Don't bother to deny it," Andrew dropped his arms from her quickly, disgusted. "I am surprised that you would stoop to this, though." He looked at her steadily, his eyes reduced to dark beads set in thin, cruel slits. "Yes, Thea. I thought that I knew you better than that."

"You do know me!" Thea blurted out, "I'm perfectly serious! The entire ship is in great danger!"

Andrew rolled his eyes and turned away. "Don't expect me to believe this --" he searched for a word, "performance! You never were a very good actress and these ridiculous theatrics are beneath you --"

"I'm not acting!" Thea protested.

"Douglas has been trying to find a way of backing out of his promise to let us do it without losing face and this is just another way to keep himself out of danger." Andrew spat back. "Well, you can just go back to Connor and tell him that your little attempt didn't work and that we are going to get that scene tonight!"

Thea's face crumpled.

He must have seen some degree of honesty in the expression on her face, because he went on quietly. "We've rehearsed this completely and are taking every precaution." Then he went on with more bitterness. "Tell him not to worry, he won't be sued."

"But everything changes in a storm!" Thea shouted back, pushing her wet hair away from her face, realizing for the first time that she had brought no protection from the elements with her.

Andrew looked around confidently, his rain slicker keeping him relatively dry. "I've been out in worse," he said lightly. "We're going!"

Thea pulled at his arm, not wanting to release him. "But what if lightning strikes the --" she began.

He jerked away and laughed. "We need the lightning. It's part of the scene!"

"But --" Thea began.

"No more!" he silenced her and walked away and back up the gangplank. Thea, rooted to her spot, watched him move up it. It was then that she noticed that almost every pair of eyes on the ship were still focused on her. The entire cast and crew had been a witness to their argument. Thea felt a twinge of mortification pull at her, but it was quickly pushed away by an overarching fear of the consequences of Andrew's decision. What could she still do to stop it from happening?

"Thea," Scott whispered, coming up behind her, toting a final piece of cargo with him. "What's wrong?"

"Oh!" Thea nearly wept and would have fallen into his arms if it were not for his load. "You've got to do something!"

"What?" Scott asked, cold fear beginning to creep into his eyes as well.

Thea, grateful for anyone who would listen, launched into a guarded explanation. "I can't tell you how I know this, but I am positive that lightning will strike the middle mast at some point in time tonight!"

"That's the one that Crystal is climbing up tonight," Scott said, voice weakening as he realized the implications of what Thea had professed.

Thea's knees grew unsteady and she felt herself begin to sink down to the dock, "You have to protect her!" she whispered to him urgently.

Scott didn't need any more than that. If he believed that Crystal was in danger, that was all that he needed to know. Thea watched as he searched his mind for a way to keep Crystal safe.

"Scott, let's move!" Andrew barked from the top of the gangplank.

"I've got to go," Scott turned back towards Thea, now kneeling on the wet boards of the pier. She felt like weeping with frustration at her own powerlessness.

"Yes," she managed as he hurried away.

Thea closed her eyes and could hardly bear to listen as she heard the gangplank being pulled away from the ship and the lines that had tethered the Rose to the land being loosed. By the time that she was able to open them again, the Rose and its tugboat escorts were well away.

Continued In Next Section