Beginning, Section II
Chapter 1 - Picture Perfect Posted on Friday, 24 March 2000
Authors note: First of all I'm sorry about the amount of titles, I know it's confusing. The reason there are so many is that this series is set over a time span of about 4 years. The 4 years are divided into books and the books into chapters. Again I'm sorry there just wasn't really any other way. As you probably know the Darcy quote in this chapter is a quote from Colin Firth from "The Making Of..." he put it so beautifully that it was impossible for me to change it. Thanks.
Elizabeth could hear movement below stairs. The servants were starting their day, which meant that the sun would not be long in starting his. She was not certain as to whether she welcomed the new day or detested it but then again her mind was in such a muddle that at that moment remembering the names of her sisters seemed a laborious task. She had slept little during the night and when she had, she tossed and turned in restless slumber, her rest haunted by his words.
As the sun began to rise she found her mind wandering back once more to the events of yesterday. So the haughty and arrogant remained that even in love. Mr. Darcy had proposed and had done so in a manner that was even more insulting than Collins, if that was possible to believe. He had degraded her and her family in a way that was unforgivable and had gloated in the fact that he had destroyed Jane's happiness. What was more incredible was that he didn't attempt to deny it but had acknowledged it frankly and openly to her face. Elizabeth sat up in bed and then threw herself back into the pillow in a most violent manner. Oh how she hated him! "No hate is to strong a word. Dislike? Yes that is it. I dislike him. A lot." she thought to herself. "Oh I HATE him!!!"
And yet if that was the case why had she accepted his offer of marriage?
Elizabeth knew exactly why. He loved her. Never before had she seen such love and adoration in anyone's eyes and what was even more amazing was that it was of her. She remembered how nervous he was when he had proposed and how he struggled to find words to express his feelings, trying not to sound like the humble clergyman of the right honourable and estimable Lady Catherine DeBourgh. Elizabeth realised that while his words now brought on a bout of anger and disgust, at the time she had heard them differently. In her heart she had heard him say, "I'm going to put to you a proposal that may make me seem rash, irresponsible and even, possibly, juvenile, but I don't want you to believe that I'm those things. I have thought through every detail of this; I know that my family will be angry, that people will frown on us and that are social positions are very different. So don't think that I haven't dealt with these issues - don't imagine that I'm just some reckless schoolboy. Nevertheless, having thought it all through, I find that my love for you is so overwhelming that these objections are rendered insignificant."
And so after hearing that she could not refuse him.
Now however she was having serious doubts. During their stay at Hunsford they had been repeatedly thrown into each other's company and Elizabeth had come to realise that she had perhaps being a little astray in her first perception of his character. He wasn't as devoid of feelings as she had originally perceived him to be, well his declaration of love had proven that but for the first time she had seen something of the real Darcy.
One evening, quite soon after the arrival of the Colonel and his cousin at Rosings, the Hunsford party was being entertained by Lady Catherine. The night had gone on much the same as all the others; Lady Catherine sat on her throne offering her advice on every possible topic you could think of and then some you could not and Mr. Collins sat beside her drinking in every word she said and memorising them so he could relay her wise advice to Mr. Bennet when he next wrote. Mrs. Collins sat beside her husband, tapping his elbow each time he rambled a little too much to Lady Catherine. Miss DeBourgh sat simpering in the corner with Mrs. Jenkinson fawning over her every sniffle. The Colonel and Elizabeth conversed easily on the subject of Sir Arthur Wellesley* while Darcy stared out the window.
"...And of course the fireplace in the second drawing room cost all of £800.", Lady Catherine proclaimed to Mr. Collins. Darcy sniggered and Elizabeth looked up at him in astonishment to see an amused smile play on his lips. He caught her eye and she bit her lower lip to refrain from giggling. Lady Catherine, mistaking the look on Elizabeth's face to be one of awe, spoke to her, "But of course Miss Bennet you have not seen the splendours of the house? Darcy would be happy to show you around. He knows the house better than anyone else for he spent most summers here when he was a boy."
Darcy looked uncomfortable and Elizabeth, who had no desire to see the place at all, professed that she would not wish to put him out.
"Oh Darcy would be pleased to show you around. He and I are of the same mind. We are, all of us, quite attentive to those of lower classes such as yourself Miss Bennet who have not had the privilege of becoming aquatinted with such fine houses as this one."
Darcy was mortified at lack of breeding shown by his Aunt and he could feel his temper beginning to flare. "How dare she insult Elizabeth like that?", he spewed to himself. The room had fallen into an uncomfortable silence. The Colonel saw the colour in his cousin's face beginning to heighten and knew Darcy was about to do something he would regret.
"Miss Bennet", said he. "I fear my cousin has a pressing matter of business which he told me earlier that he must take care of as soon as possible. Seen as that is the case would you be so kind as to allow me the honour of showing you around the house?"
Elizabeth knew that if she sat in the room a moment longer she would be in great danger of causing terrible harm to come to her cousin and Lady Catherine so she gratefully accepted Colonel Fitzwilliam's offer. And as Mr. Darcy would not be accompanying them a tour of the house with the Colonel did not seem so dreadful. Elizabeth consented and Darcy offered his apologies, "I am very sorry Miss Bennet but I do have some business which should not be delayed. On any other occasion I would be happy to show you around. Please accept my apologies." Elizabeth nodded and with a stiff bow Darcy left the room. The Colonel offered his arm to Elizabeth and they walked to the second drawing room.
"That there is a portrait of Lewis DeBourgh's grandfather." said the Colonel, pointing to a portrait of a short, ugly man as he and Elizabeth walked down the gallery.
"Do you spend a lot of time here at Rosings?" Elizabeth asked him.
"Not anymore. I was here quite a lot when Darcy and I were boys but now we visit but once a year and we avoid that if at all possible."
Elizabeth smiled and the Colonel continued, "Darcy lived here as a boy after the death of his mother."
"Really?" Elizabeth asked in astonishment.
"Yes. After the death of my aunt Mr. Darcy felt Darcy needed a mother's care. Unfortunately he decided on Aunt Catherine as that mother."
"It strikes me Colonel that you do not like your Aunt all that much."
The Colonel smiled uneasily, "Let us just say Miss Bennet that my Aunt has done a lot of damage that I'm not sure can ever be reversed."
They continued down the gallery both far away in thought. The Colonel wondering whether he had said too much and Elizabeth desperately trying to figure out what Lady Catherine had done to Colonel Fitzwilliam. They stopped in front of a portrait of three young boys playing in the grounds, with Rosings looming in the distance. The eldest boy, a dark haired child of about nine, stood holding the reins of a black stallion with a solemn look across his face. A smiling fair-haired boy of about six stood a little in front of the horse and the youngest, a child of about three sat on the ground laughing wildly and playing with a puppy. Elizabeth was instantly attracted to the picture. She wanted to laugh at the young Mr. Darcy's proud stance, the young Colonel looked just as she would have imagined him to but her attention went instantly to the young boy. The grin on his face was infectious, his eyes sparkled with delight and Elizabeth was amazed that anyone, especially a child, could be so happy at a house of Lady Catherine's.
"What do you think Miss Bennet of our portrait?" Darcy asked as he joined them from a room off the gallery. Elizabeth was surprised but not daunted.
"It is a very handsome picture Mr. Darcy. I recognise both you and your cousin but tell me who is the youngest boy?"
The Colonel laughed, "No Miss Bennet your are mistaken. You are correct in saying that I am the middle boy but the eldest is my brother. The youngest child is Darcy."
Elizabeth could not hide her surprise. "Indeed." she mumbled.
*Sir Arthur Wellesley - the future Duke of Wellington
Elizabeth thought about the portrait, that Darcy had once being a child was all very well and good but did that really acquit him of cruelty to Wickham? Wickham had being bothering her greatly of late. She could not shake off the feeling that she had being deceived. Perhaps she had been so eager to believe the worst of Mr. Darcy that she had believed Mr. Wickham regardless of his lack of proof. She remembered how he had begged her to keep his disclosure a secret but then as soon as Darcy had left Hertfordshire the story was the talk of the county. She thought back to her first meeting with Mr. Wickham. How Darcy had gone as white as a ghost and how Wickham had blushed with embarrassment. Why would Wickham have been embarrassed if he had done nothing wrong? Why would have he not attended the ball at Netherfield if he had been innocent? Oh she had been a fool. Mr. Bingley had even warned her against him.
Mr. Bingley. Then of course there was that affair. Mr. Darcy had admitted to it so there could be no denying that he had tried to ruin all Jane's hope of happiness. But why? If it had merely been because of their low connections and lack of fortune why had that not stopped him proposing to her. This she could not understand but by marrying Mr. Darcy Elizabeth knew that Jane and Bingley would be forced into each other's company more often. Perhaps they could come to their own understanding without the interference of his friend.
But even if all her objections to the man disintegrated into nothing could she still marry him? He had insulted her family in a way that was unforgivable... Elizabeth continued in this manner until she was called for breakfast.
Chapter 2 - Writing To Reach You Posted on Saturday, 25 March 2000
Elizabeth professed herself not hungry and left for a walk in the grounds, needing to clear the confusion in her head. It did not occur to her that she might meet with Mr. Darcy though he often frequented the same walk. However she did meet with him and so abrupt was his appearance that Elizabeth almost turned around and walked away. She was not sure that she could face him at that moment.
"Miss Bennet." he called and then his voice softened. "Elizabeth, I have been walking the grove for some time in the hope of meeting you." He came to her and placed a soft kiss on her hand, which sent nervous rush of anticipation down Elizabeth's spine. She smiled and offering his arm, they continued their walk together.
"I hope this morning finds you well."
"Perfectly so, thank you." she answered flatly. An uncomfortable silence followed, Elizabeth's noncommittal attitude hanging between them. He tried to break the silence.
"I hope you will not be angry Lizzy." he stopped suddenly and turned to her. "May I call you Lizzy?"
His nervousness once again caused Elizabeth to smile and her expression softened. "You may", she teased.
"But only if I may call you something other than Mr. Darcy. It sounds terribly stiff you know."
Darcy laughed lightly and Elizabeth caught a glimpse of the child she had seen in the portrait. "Call me whatever you please my love. I am at your mercy."
Elizabeth was surprised at his playful manner but continued in the same way, "Okay I shall call you... Oh what shall I call you? Have you any suggestions Mr. Darcy?"
"My Christian name is Fitzwilliam." he offered but he saw Elizabeth wrinkle up her nose in distaste. "My sister calls me William."
"That's much better. Yes I like William." She decided. "Pray tell me why shall I be angry with you?"
"I wrote to my sister last night informing her of our engagement. I know that perhaps we should wait until we have your father's consent before making our engagement public but I had to tell Georgiana. She will be discreet I promise."
Elizabeth smiled, "I do not mind sir."
"She will probably write to you. She will be eager to get to know you. She has been thorough a lot in this past year," his voice faltered "She has always being rather shy but since last summer she has retreated into herself more and more. I am hoping Elizabeth that you and her will become close. Elizabeth make her understand that she is not to blame." he begged passionately.
Elizabeth stared at him in astonishment and was about to ask what had happened but Darcy made it clear he did not wish to speak of it anymore and something told her that she would understand soon enough.
"I need to ask your father for his consent to our marriage."
Oh my father, thought Elizabeth, he will not be pleased. Darcy noticed the change in her countenance. "Is everything okay? Do you think he will refuse?" he asked worriedly.
"No he will just be a little surprised that is all. Please write and ask him for his consent. I will send a letter to him too. There is no need for you to go to Longbourn."
"Are you sure?" he asked doubtfully.
"Certain."
Darcy nodded and then brightened, "Now enough talking of other people. I wish to talk about you."
Elizabeth laughed, "You wish to talk about me? Well let us see. I am twenty years of age though your Aunt does not know that and you shall not tell her. I have four sisters but then you know that already. I have a horrible temper, my favourite colour is blue and I once refused an offer of marriage from Mr. Collins." Elizabeth was surprised at her own silliness.
Darcy burst out laughing, "Mr. Collins proposed to you?"
"Why sir do you think I was undeserving?" Lizzy teased.
"Not at all but I can imagine what you said to him." he laughed.
"It is not funny." she said and playfully slapped his arm. "When I refused him he went directly to my mother to make her change my mind. My mother vowed never to see me again if I did not marry him and my father vowed never to see me again if I did so you see it was a hopeless case. My mother has not yet forgiven me." Elizabeth realised how late it was. "I must be going back to the parsonage soon for they will be worried."
"Yes. Oh I had completely forgotten that I was to convey an invitation to you and Mr. and Mrs. Collins for dinner at Rosings this evening."
Lizzy looked archly at him, "An invitation Mr. Darcy?"
Darcy blushed a little, "Well I suppose it is more of an order but will you honour us with your company none the less?"
"I fear it is not I that you should be asking but Mrs. Collins."
"Well in that case would you allow me to escort you back?"
Elizabeth nodded and they head towards the parsonage. Just before they rounded the corner, which brought the parsonage into view Darcy stopped abruptly.
"Elizabeth I won't be able to say goodbye properly when we reach the parsonage so may I do it now?" he asked softly.
Elizabeth was confused but didn't object. It was not until he kissed her that she could comprehend what he meant. He kissed her softly and sweetly at first, unsure of what her reaction would be. When she didn't protest his kiss became more intense. Elizabeth was surprised to find herself reciprocating with a passion that matched his own. The rest of the world had melted away and for the next five minutes they stood in a passionate embrace though after two Elizabeth had resorted to leaning against a tree trunk for her legs could no longer support her. She had never felt the way he had made her feel at that moment. His kisses made her come completely alive and she could not help feeling bitterly disappointed when he pulled away. Darcy knew that all of his self control was falling away fast and he pulled away from her knowing that they had just broke nearly every rule of propriety and etiquette that existed considering that her father had not yet given his consent. He was out of breath and it was a full thirty seconds before either of them could speak. When he had regained his composure Darcy felt somewhat embarrassed. Elizabeth must be angry, thought he, as she cannot look at me.
"Elizabeth I..."
Elizabeth interrupted him, "Hush. William, don't speak.", she whispered, her eyes still closed. Darcy was enchanted. He bent down and began to place soft kisses on her forehead. "William.", she warned. "You're playing with fire." With that she opened her eyes and stared at him and they both could not contain their laughter.
It wasn't until after he had left the parsonage Elizabeth realised that not once during their morning together had she had any doubts about accepting his proposal.
Hunsford, twenty-second of April, 1812Dear Papa,
I hope this letter finds you all well. I am sure that by now you have received Mr. Darcy's letter informing you of his intentions but if you have not I shall enlighten you.
Yesterday as it was a Thursday we were to dine at Rosings Park. During the course of the afternoon I felt a headache coming on and therefore declined to join the party at Rosings. After they had gone I received an unexpected caller, a Mr. Darcy who was staying with his aunt at Rosings Park. Mr. Darcy proceeded to tell me of his affection for me and asked for my hand in marriage which after much consideration I have decided to accept.
I know you will be surprised Papa but please give Mr. Darcy your consent and be happy for us. He is a man that I know I can be happy with. Please give us your blessing.
Your Lizzy.
P.S. Please do not tell them at Longbourn of my engagement, as I would like to deliver the communication myself.
Satisfied that she had not imparted any great falsehood to her father Elizabeth sealed the letter and handed it to a maid for the post before she could have a doubt. There would be no going back now. A cry was heard from downstairs, "Hurry my dear Charlotte or we shall be late. Where is my cousin?"
Elizabeth took one more fleeting glance in the mirror and joined them downstairs.
Throughout the evening Elizabeth was constantly aware of Darcy's eyes on her. It was beginning to make her feel embarrassed and uneasy. Surely Lady Catherine had noticed how her nephews eyes were drawn frequently to their impertinent guest. Elizabeth strived for a moment alone with him, as she wanted to ascertain if he had written to her father. After supper Darcy was called to attend to his aunt and Colonel Fitzwilliam took up the occupation of entertaining Miss Bennet. "I hope you will not think me rude Miss Bennet if I offer you my congratulations on your forthcoming betrothal to my cousin."
Elizabeth looked at him in surprise; "I was not aware sir that you knew...well that is to say that Mr. Darcy..."
"Pray do not make yourself uneasy Miss Bennet. My cousin has talked of you so much in the months since he has left Hertfordshire, that after discovering you were staying at the parsonage, I felt that this would soon happen. I noticed a change in my cousin last night when he returned but it was not until this morning, after much begging and blackmail that my cousin told be the truth.", he laughed jovially. "I offer my congratulations now only because I shall not have another opportunity to do so."
"Oh shall you not be at the wedding?" Lizzy was amazed at how far ahead she was thinking.
"No I am to be stationed in Spain for some months under Sir William Anson's command. And I shall not return until you are Mrs. Darcy."
Lizzy smiled, "I am sorry to here it. We shall miss your presence I am sure. How shall you like Spain?"
The Colonel grimaced, "As much as I liked Portugal; not a lot."
Elizabeth smiled and was about to reply when the Colonel was called away by his aunt. After he left the room Elizabeth turned her attention to the window. What are you doing Elizabeth, thought she. She was not herself anymore but some actor playing a part. She was being swept away by Darcy's feelings and she was powerless to stop this charade. She knew that if she didn't act soon she would end up being Mrs. Darcy though she was now beginning to wonder if that was really a bad thing. Her reverie was interrupt by Darcy joining her at the window and after making sure that Lady Catherine was out of sight he slipped his arms around her and kissed her temple. She smiled at him though somewhat surprised that she found such solace in his arms.
"I believe Mr. Darcy that you have being quite the gossip of late." she teased.
He smiled and kissed her again, "Well after my cousin caught me doing pirouettes on the stairs I feared I would be committed if I didn't tell him something."
Elizabeth laughed aloud at such a picture though secretly she was still quite amazed at this new playful side of Darcy she was seeing.
"Sir if you were doing pirouettes on the stairs perhaps you should be committed."
Darcy laughed but then his face turned serious, "Did you write to you father?"
Elizabeth nodded. "Before I left. And you?"
"Yes. My cousin told you, I suppose, that he will not be here for the wedding?"
"Yes he did. I'm very sorry for it."
"Do you still plan to leave on Friday?"
"Yes I'm afraid we must. My father will no doubt be anxious to see me. What are your plans?"
"I shall stay here until I receive a reply from your father. When I do I will travel to London as I have some business with my steward and then on to Netherfield. I shall hope to be by your side within three weeks."
Elizabeth then heard herself say, "You will write to me William?" Why had she said that? It just slipped out. Did she want him to write to her?
"I will. I shall hope my love to hear from you very often." Their conversation was interrupted by Lady Catherine's call for her nephew. As he pulled from their embrace he kissed her one last time and whispered softly, "Know that I love you Lizzy."
The rest of their stay passed without incident. The Hunsford party was many times in the company of those at Rosings but there was very little time for private meetings between Darcy and Lizzy. Of this Elizabeth was glad. It meant that she had time to think of her feelings for Darcy. She didn't love him, of this she was certain. But what did she feel for him? She most defiantly didn't hate him either nor did she detest him or even dislike him. Did she like him? Well "like" was a very strange word. You could like a colour or a gown or even a place but could you honestly just like a person? Lizzy felt compelled to feel something more for him than just to like him. But what came between like and love?
Though she had sworn never to marry but for the deepest love Lizzy was by now quite resigned to the fact that she would be Mrs. Darcy. Perhaps in time she would come to feel for Darcy a fraction of what he felt for her. Actually falling in love with someone after you married them did sound rather romantic. Elizabeth scolded herself for being silly. What made her happy though was to think that, while her father might outwardly disapprove of their marriage, he would be happy to know that his family's future was secure. Lizzy was happy to know that she would bring such joy to her family. If she was to be honest with herself she had never stopped feeling entirely guilty of refusing Mr. Collins. While she didn't regret refusing him, god she could never marry such a horrible man, she did admit to feeling guilty because by refusing him she had put her family's future in jeopardy. When she had mentioned something to the affect of feeling guilty to William, he had laughed, "Lizzy that's like a thief who is not sorry he stole but is sorry he got caught." Though Lizzy agreed with him she couldn't help feeling guilty. The only thing that continued to worry her was her father and Jane's feelings. Her father would be disappointed and Jane would be worried about her. Well at least she still had some time to go before she would have to face them.
Darcy had received a letter from Mr. Bennet assuring him that he had his consent and not a day later did the post bring two letters for Lizzy, one from her father and one from Georgiana Darcy. It was with some trepidation that Elizabeth opened the letter from the former. In it he begged her to reconsider but that if she was determined to marry Darcy he would not stand in their way and he would be happy for them. Lizzy was somewhat relieved though she knew not what she had expected him to do. The second letter brought with it however an array of emotions. The letter started with congratulations on the engagement and Lizzy was surprised and very pleased to see that all the other accounts of Miss Darcy she had heard were ill founded though she had long suspected that this was the case. Miss Darcy as far as Elizabeth could gather was a rather shy girl for at the beginning of her letter she addressed Elizabeth by her Christian name and then spent half a page begging for Elizabeth forgiveness for her impropriety and worrying over what her brother would think. About half way through the letter the tone became more serious and Elizabeth found herself become more shocked as she read on.
Miss Bennet I hope you will not regard what I am about to do as being improper or impertinent but I feel that this task falls on me as my brother is to concerned for my safety and honour that I doubt he will tell you this himself. I think that this though is something you should know. Last December I was staying in London with my brother for Christmas. We rarely go to Pemberley for Christmas and this year Colonel Fitzwilliam having recently arrived home from Portugal promised to split his time between us and his parents and brother. So it was that one-day I was walking past my brothers study and I noticed the door slightly ajar. I went to shut it and I happened to overhear a little of the conversation my brother and cousin were having inside. From what I could make out my brother said that during his stay in Hertfordshire a regiment had been stationed there and who should be in it but one Mr. Wickham. William mentioned to my brother that Wickham had been spreading stories about him around the area and that the majority of people had been taking in by him.I know not Miss Bennet if you were one of the majority my brother spoke of nor do I know what falsehoods Mr. Wickham has been imposing but I feel compelled to lay down before you his connections with my family. You will understand dearest Elizabeth that I do not know the particular details of the situations I am about to relate as my brother has only given me a brief outline. I think he believes Mr. Wickham's actions are unsuitable for my ears.
Mr. Wickham is the son of a very respectable man, who had for many years the management of all the Pemberley estates, and whose good conduct in the discharge of his trust naturally inclined my father to be of service to him; and on George Wickham, who was his godson, his kindness was therefore liberally bestowed. My father supported him at school, and afterwards at Cambridge. My father was not only fond of this young man's society, whose manners were always engaging; he had also the highest opinion of him, and hoping the church would be his profession, intended to provide for him in it. As for myself, it is nearly a year since I first began to think of him in a very different manner. The vicious propensities-the want of principle, which he was careful to guard from the knowledge of a young girl such as myself, could not escape the observation of a young man of nearly the same age with himself, and who had opportunities of seeing him in unguarded moments, which I or my father could not have.
My excellent father died about five years ago; and his attachment to Mr. Wickham was to the last so steady, that in his will he particularly recommended it to my brother, to promote his advancement in the best manner that his profession might allow-and if he took orders, desired that a valuable family living might be his as soon as it became vacant. There was also a legacy of one thousand pounds. His own father did not long survive mine, and within half a year from these events Mr. Wickham wrote to inform my brother that, having finally resolved against taking orders, he hoped my brother should not think it unreasonable for him to expect some more immediate pecuniary advantage, in lieu of the [preferment], by which he could not be benefited. He had some intention, he added, of studying the law, and my brother must be aware that the interest of one thousand pounds would be a very insufficient support therein. My brother rather wished, than believed him to be sincere but, at any rate, was perfectly ready to accede to his proposal. He knew that Mr. Wickham ought not to be a clergyman; the business was therefore seen settled-he resigned all claim to assistance in the church, were it possible that he could ever be in a situation to receive it, and accepted in return three thousand pounds. All connection between the two families seemed now dissolved. My brother has since admitted to me that he thought too ill of him to invite him to Pemberley, or admit his society in town. In town I believe he chiefly lived, but his studying the law was a mere pretence, and being now free from all restraint, his life was a life of idleness and dissipation. For about three years I heard little of him; but on the decease of the incumbent of the living which had been designed for him, he applied to my brother again by letter for the presentation. His circumstances, he assured William, and he had no difficulty in believing it, were exceedingly bad. He had found the law a most unprofitable study, and was now absolutely resolved on being ordained, if William would present him to the living in question-of which he trusted there could be little doubt, as he was well assured that William had no other person to provide for, and he could not have forgotten my revered father's intentions. You will hardly blame William for refusing to comply with this entreaty, or for resisting every repetition of it. His resentment was in proportion to the distress of his circumstances-and he was doubtless as violent in his abuse of my brother to others as in his reproaches to William. After this period every appearance of acquaintance was dropped. How he lived we know not. But last summer our paths crossed again under the most painful circumstances which I myself would wish to forget.
About a year ago, I was taken from school, and an establishment formed for me in London; and last summer went with the lady who presided over it, to Ramsgate; and thither also went Mr. Wickham, undoubtedly by design; for there proved to have been a prior acquaintance between him and Mrs. Younge, in whose character everyone was most unhappily deceived; and by her connivance and aid, he so far recommended himself to me, I remembered his affection towards me as a girl but I have since realised my stupidity at being so easily taken in.
I was persuaded to believe myself in love, and to consent to an elopement. I was then but fifteen, which must be my excuse. William joined us unexpectedly a day or two before the intended elopement, and then I, unable to support the idea of grieving and offending a brother whom I almost looked up to as a father, acknowledged the whole to him. You may imagine what he felt and how he acted. Regard for my credit and feelings prevented any public exposure; but he wrote to Mr. Wickham, who left the place immediately, and Mrs. Younge was of course removed from me. Mr. Wickham's chief object was unquestionably my fortune, which is thirty thousand pounds, but I cannot help supposing that the hope of revenging himself on my brother was a strong inducement.
I am not sure Elizabeth of what your feelings shall be on receiving this information but I completely understand if you would like to know more of the particulars. If however you might feel a little uncomfortable going to my brother, my cousin would be more than happy to tell you what you wish to know.
Elizabeth's feelings on receiving this information crossed from horror to relief then to anger and then to compassion and then finally back to horror again. That Wickham could commit such cruelty to those that would soon be her family and then to have the audacity to lie about it to her. Oh how she wanted to hurt him. Poor Georgiana! Poor William!!! How misunderstood she had been in his character. She had to admit that she was more than a little relieved. Having previously believed that she may be marrying a distant cousin of Satan now at least she knew how terribly wrong she had been. Oh how she didn't deserve him! She had been rude to him at every possible opportunity; she had been Wickham's messenger as regards blackening Darcy's character. And yet she knew that William knew all this and he still wanted to marry her. Elizabeth felt horribly ashamed. She entertained thoughts of perhaps breaking their engagement but found on closer inspection that she could not do that to him or even herself. As difficult as it was for her to admit it she was beginning to look forward to being his wife. If she had to choose any man she would wish to spend the rest of her life with it would be him. She still didn't love him but all that in good time she reasoned.
Chapter 3 - Common Ground Posted on Sunday, 26 March 2000
The day before Elizabeth was to return to Longbourn and to what she slightly suspected would be the wrath of her father she and William took a last walk together through the grounds of Rosings Park.
"When does the Colonel leave for the continent?" she asked him as they strolled into the woods.
"Ah he left yesterday. Though I am always excessively sorry to see him go, I was more so this time."
"Why?" she asked.
"I confess my reasons are entirely selfish my love." he grinned cheekily. "I'm beginning to fear there will be no one to stand for me at our wedding."
"What about Mr. Bingley?"
"Bingley left in February for America. I believe he is thinking of purchasing an estate over there. The cotton industry is seemingly quite good at the moment." Darcy mused. Elizabeth was shocked not to mention quite vexed that her plans for Jane and Bingley were to amount to nothing.
"How long do you think he will stay?"
"I'm not sure, I suppose it depends on what he decides to do about the cotton plantation. Though I miss my friend I have to say that it very comforting to know that his sisters are in another continent."
Lizzy giggled but then turned serious, "But if he has left the country why does he continue to rent Netherfield?"
"Well the lease was signed for a year. He asked me to take care of any business regarding the place until his lease ends."
Elizabeth nodded and they continued walking. "Did my sister write to you? I thought I understood from her that she had."
"Yes she did. I have replied to her but make sure to thank her again for me when you next write."
"And from the letter she wrote how do you like her?" William asked eagerly. Elizabeth ginned slightly at his eagerness for her and Georgiana to become friends.
"From the letter I received I can say that I like her very much. When shall I have the pleasure to meet her in person?"
"I am glad that you wish to know her. She was thrilled to hear of our engagement, four sides of paper were not sufficient to express her joy." He laughed. "I hope to bring her to Hertfordshire with me when I return..." He stopped suddenly and seemed to think for a bit before changing his mind. "Well perhaps it might be best for her to stay at Pemberley." he added visibly perturbed.
Elizabeth understood his uneasiness and felt compelled to comfort him. She placed her hand on his arm and spoke softly, "William I know about Wickham. Georgiana told me."
Darcy brought his eyes to meet hers. In that look they both found that words were unnecessary. In that look they both resolved not to mention Wickham again, Elizabeth was too ashamed at having believed his accusations and Darcy was to angry and upset to even hear his name and anyway there was no need to mention his name between them. He was, they both silently agreed, part of their relationship which was in the past. He was just a part of their history. But then, as someone once so eloquently put it, history has a way of repeating itself.
Chapter 4 - All Eyes On Me Posted on Sunday, 26 March 2000
Elizabeth spent the journey from Kent to Longbourn in a state of anxiety. It was not facing her mother with news of her engagement that worried her amongst other things but facing Jane. Jane would be disappointed, not to mention distressed and were it not for the fact that she knew Jane's character so well Elizabeth would have expected her to be angry. And Elizabeth had not even begun to think of her father. And of course once her mother knew and had got over the shock there would have to be a special addition of the Gossip Times to go around Meryton. The thought of it almost made Elizabeth physically sick. And what was more was that she would have to weather it alone. But of course she wouldn't actually admit to missing Fitzwilliam Darcy.
Elizabeth was met by the family at the door and though she was eager to speak with Jane her father made it known to her that he wished to see her in the library immediately. After depositing of her coat and bonnet she made her way to her father's library and with one last deep breath she entered. Her father, she noticed, seemed to have aged a great deal since she left. His face was pale and his eyes were sunken in. He paced up and down the room anxiously.
"Lizzy," said he, "what are you doing? Are you out of your senses, to be accepting this man? Have not you always hated him?"
How earnestly did she then wish that her former opinions had been more reasonable, her expressions more moderate! It would have spared her from explanations and professions which it was exceedingly awkward to give; but they were now necessary, and she assured him, with some confusion, of her attachment to Mr. Darcy.
"Or, in other words, you are determined to have him. He is rich, to be sure, and you may have many fine clothes and fine carriages. But will they make you happy?"
"Have you any other objection," said Elizabeth, "than your belief of my indifference?"
"None at all. We all know him to be a proud, unpleasant sort of man; but this would be nothing if you really liked him."
"I do, I do like him," she replied, with tears in her eyes.
"Lizzy," said her father, "I have given him my consent. He is the kind of man, indeed, to whom I should never dare refuse anything which he condescended to ask. I now give it to you, if you are resolved on having him."
"I am Papa." she declared and he looked at her sadly before kissing her softly on her forehead. "Come my dear. Dinner is being served and I believe you have an announcement to make."
The Bennet family sat at the table in much their usual way. Lizzy's arrival home did not influence the conversation at all. The regiment's removal from Meryton occupied most of the conversation or rather the tea party which would be hosted at Longbourn in their honour on the morrow.
"Oh Lydia." said her mother to her. "You must wear you pink gown as you know it becomes you rather well. The last time you wore it in the presence of the officer I noticed that Wickham admired you a lot."
"Well I shall then." she replied. "You needn't think Lizzy that just because you have a fondness for Wickham that I'm going to stay away. It's not like he got rid of Mary King because he favoured you."
"I do not..." Lizzy tried to reply but she couldn't be hear over the argument which ensued between Kitty and Lydia. Mr. Bennet's voice could be heard over the clamour, "If we could show a bit of decorum please I believe Lizzy has an announcement to make."
The noise quieted down and Lizzy took a deep breath before speaking.
"I am engaged to be married."
The room went deathly silent. All eyes were focused on Elizabeth who had by now gone quite pale.
"To WHO?" her mother shrieked. Jane just stared at Elizabeth incredulously, Mary's only interest in the situation was that she may be in a position to offer some of her highly valued advice, Mr. Bennet watched the whole scene with amusement and in anticipation of the next words that would come out of Lizzy's mouth while Lydia and Kitty wondered who the groom could be.
"Captain Carter or Sanderson." giggled Kitty.
"No I know, Denny." Lydia roared and the two collapsed into fits of laughter which was only silenced by Lizzy's stern look.
"Lizzy?" Jane asked softly. Knowing she could not escape it any longer Elizabeth mumbled, "Fitzwilliam Darcy."
The room once again fell silent. The only sound that could be heard was Mr. Bennet who continued to eat his dinner. The rest of the family, excepting Jane, were under the impression that this Fitzwilliam Darcy was just someone Lizzy had met in Kent as they had not yet made the connection between Fitzwilliam and Mr. £10,000 a year. And as for Jane, well it is quite impossible to describe her face at this moment. Kitty and Lydia soon began whispering amongst themselves, if he wasn't a soldier then who cares?
It took a full three minutes for Mrs. Bennet to realise who was to be her son-in-law and then a further two minutes for her to gather enough composure to speak.
"Lizzy...oh ten thousand a year...oh so handsome...and you such a sly thing that you never told any of us... such a brilliant idea of mine to send you to Netherfield when Jane was sick...Oh Lizzy you must tell us all about it." Mrs. Bennet would have continued to shriek (sorry speak) had it not been for the breath she was required to take. Kitty and Lydia had by now realised who he was and Mary for the first time in her life was speechless. Lizzy just looked awkwardly at Jane.
"Lizzy?" Jane whispered. "What happened?"
Taking a deep breath, Lizzy began to relate a very abbreviated version of the incidents that happened in Kent, " While I was staying at Hunsford we were invited many times to dinner at Lady Catherine De Bourgh's residence. Mr. Darcy was staying at his aunt's with his cousin Colonel Fitzwilliam and we found ourselves often in each others company."
"Oh Elizabeth stop prattling", her mother ordered. "We don't care about that. How did you manage to snare him?"
Elizabeth had had enough and her mother's last comment was enough to send her over the edge. In a temper she threw down her cutlery on the table and stormed out of the, room slamming the door behind her.
Elizabeth remained in her room despite the constant pleas of her mother, Jane and even her father to come downstairs. Perhaps her mother's comment had hurt her so deeply because it was true. She didn't "snare" him purposely but wasn't that what she ended up doing. She was marrying him under false pretences and she felt guilty.
Lizzy didn't venture from her room until late when a letter arrived from the gentleman himself. She appeared in the drawing room for a brief moment to take the letter and then disappeared back upstairs much to her mother's consternation as Mrs. Bennet was eager to discover what dear Fitzwilliam had to say. Though her mother knew there was little chance of her of her getting to see it now she resolved to make Sarah get it for her in the morning when she went into make the beds. Jane was relieved at Elizabeth's reaction to the letter, Jane began to believe that Elizabeth was really and truly in love with him and Mr. Bennet watched with amusement, seeing Lizzy's outward display of regard towards the man (Mr. Bennet had serious doubts over whether Lizzy knew yet that she was in love with the Darcy).
Elizabeth, however, knew little of the thoughts of her family and returned quickly to her bedchamber to read the letter. Darcy's letter revived her spirits. While William had nothing in particular to say the letter still managed to be the length of three sides of paper. The letter was sweet and more than once did William tell her how much he longed for her to be at his side as his wife. He was currently in London and, he assured her, missing her desperately. The letter cheered her up and Elizabeth felt able to face her family once again
"Oh Lizzy what did dear Fitzwilliam have to say?" her mother asked as Elizabeth walked into the drawing room. Mr. Bennet looked up from his paper with an amused glint in his eyes.
"Nothing of importance." Lizzy replied but a glance at her mother told her this reply would not be enough. "He was writing to inquire if I arrived safely."
"I hope you replied immediately. You must learn Lizzy never to leave a man such as Mr. Darcy waiting for anything he desires."
Elizabeth didn't know whether to laugh or cry so she just went red. "Elizabeth don't worry. You and I shall talk later about you marital duties. Oh a daughter married." she squealed. Elizabeth was close to storming out of the room again but remained when her father squeezed her hand comfortingly and requested her to sit down.
"Now Elizabeth we must begin on these wedding arrangements." began her mother.
"Mamma do you not think it will be better to wait for Will...Mr. Darcy before we make any decisions."
"Nonsense child, men do not care for weddings. First of all we must put your engagement in the papers."
Mr. Bennet spoke up, "I gave Mr. Darcy leave to do that. He will take care of it."
Mrs. Bennet muttered something about the announcement not being put in properly but then continued on, "Of course we shall have to have Mr. Collins conduct the ceremony. No doubt Lady Catherine will insist upon it..."
Lizzy cringed.
"When is Mr. Darcy coming to Hertfordshire?"
"In a few weeks."
"...And of course when Mr. Darcy marries Lizzy Jane will see Mr. Bingley a lot more. Actually Jane I think you should go back to Pemberley with Lizzy and Mr. Darcy after the wedding."
Jane paled at the mention of Bingley and Lizzy stared at her mother in shock, Mr. Bennet chuckled at his paper. Mrs. Bennet continued, "Will Bingley be coming back to Netherfield before Darcy? He will be groomsman after all."
"Actually Mr. Bingley won't be at the wedding. He is in America at the moment." Lizzy managed to stammer.
"WHAT? Oh well perhaps it's for the best, if Lizzy can marry someone worth £10,000 a year think of what Jane will be able to do?"
Chapter 5 - Fighting The Enemy Posted on Friday, 31 March 2000
The morrow dawned bright and warm and though Elizabeth had intended to make the better of it by going for a walk her mother had other ideas. Plans had to be made, dresses designed, wedding guests invited and Lizzy could not decide who she hated more, her mother or William for dragging her into this whole thing in the first place. Luckily the tea party for the officers that afternoon occupied much of Mrs. Bennet's time so she couldn't go to her sister and reveal the news but that would mean that her mother would make a cringe-worthy speech at the party. Elizabeth chose to stay much of the morning in her father's study to escape the clamour and madness. Mr. Bennet was of course all too happy to provide refuge to his favourite daughter. And so they passed the morning in peaceful companionship.
As the time for the party drew closer Mr. Bennet noticed Elizabeth growing nervous and preoccupied. She was worried about facing Wickham again. He was someone she had no desire to see and the thought of behaving in friendly terms to the man who had been the means of nearly destroying those she held close disgusted her. The look on his face, however, when he discovered she was engaged to William would be something to cherish forever.
Elizabeth had managed to avoid speaking with Jane the night before and as Mrs. Bennet had Jane much occupied that day, they had escaped a confrontation but Lizzy knew it could not wait much longer.
Guests began arriving at two-thirty and promptly at three Wickham came accompanied by Denny and Sanderson. Almost as soon as he was in the house and before her mother at the opportunity to say anything he asked to speak with her in private. She agreed, somewhat curious as to what he would speak with her about and directed him to her father's library. As soon as the door was shut he grabbed her harshly and said passionately, "I can go now longer without telling you I love you Elizabeth."
Struggling out of his grasp she looked at him shock, "What? You cannot be serious."
"Oh but beautiful Elizabeth I am. I love you, I have loved you from the moment I met you."
Elizabeth walked towards the window and, for want of a diversion, gazed at the gardener who was pruning the roses. Wickham, mistaking her silence to mean she wanted more, continued, "I want you to come away with me Elizabeth."
Elizabeth replied, "Come away? Where?" Ramsgate?, she added under her breath.
"To Gretna Greene."
At this she started. "Mr. Wickham please."
"Elizabeth, I love you. I want you to marry me."
Elizabeth had had enough of this nonsense, "Mr. Wickham please stop this. You have forgotten that I have yet to make a reply. I will do so now. Even if I did return you affections which I definitely do not it would be impossible for me to accept your proposals. I am already engaged."
Elizabeth saw Wickham's colour rise and his eyes flash with anger, "You are already engaged? Pray tell me when did this occur?"
"I became engaged during my stay at Hunsford in Kent.", she flatly stated.
Wickham scoffed, "Oh Elizabeth I thought you would know that it is illegal for a Mr. Collins to have two wives. You might find that sort of thing in Barbarian countries, perhaps you should try there?"
Elizabeth went pale, "You have said quite enough sir. You will now return to the party and when it is over you will leave you this house and never return. Is that understood?"
Wickham knew that right now was not a good time to argue with her and silently complied. He had not given up hope, however, he would have her yet.
Returning to the drawing room Wickham and Elizabeth joined her mother and Jane who were talking to Colonel Forster, Lady Lucas and Mrs. Philips. The Colonel turned to Elizabeth and smiled, "Your mother, Miss Eliza, has just acquainted us with your happy news. Please accept my sincerest congratulations."
Elizabeth smiled, "Thank You sir."
"Elizabeth when will your fiancé come to Longbourn?", Lady Lucas asked.
"He has business in town but he hopes to be here in a few weeks."
"Can't you just see her?", Mrs. Bennet giggled. "Mrs. Darcy of Pemberley."
A shocked Wickham went pale and Elizabeth glared at him triumphantly. He left soon after.
Chapter 6 - Cat Calls Posted on Friday, 31 March 2000
At the same time Elizabeth and Wickham were having it out, nearly fifty miles away another type of trouble was brewing. Fitzwilliam Darcy was preparing to make his engagement announcement to his uncle, two aunts and two of his cousins. The Earl of Matlock and his wife arrived with their eldest son Rex at Rosings a few hours after Elizabeth's departure. The Countess had recently overcome an illness and her husband thought it might be good for her to have a change of scene and also see her sister-in-law. Rex had received a visit from Georgiana a few days previous and whatever she told him made him cancel all his previous arrangement and suddenly decide to come to Rosings. And so it was that the day after they arrived they all gathered in the second drawing room to hear William out.
William took them all in as he glanced around the room. Lady Catherine was looking incredibly pleased with herself and constantly glanced slyly at her daughter, the Earl and his wife were waiting in anticipation and his cousin looked either angry or worried, Darcy couldn't decide which.
Realising it was now or never Darcy took a deep breath and spoke, "I am engaged to be married."
Lady Catherine grinned, the Earl and his wife looked slightly worried and his cousin was on the verge of bursting with anger. It was Anne however that caused the room to erupt in confusion when she simply asked, "To whom?"
Lady Catherine paled and his Aunt, Uncle and cousin looked shocked though relieved.
"To Miss Elizabeth Bennet.", he stated simply.
Catherine sneered, "You stupid boy. That little upstart. Pretentious snivelling thief...." She would have continued had it not been for his cousin. Darcy had thought he'd seen him angry a few minutes before but he hadn't seen him like this.
"The vicar's sister?", he spewed.
"She is not his sister, she's his cousin.", Darcy said irritably.
"How wonderful. You've excelled yourself this time Darcy. Exactly what we need in the family, another common stale."
The room fell silent, the Countess stared at the floor, the Earl looked at his son angrily and even Lady Catherine seemed shocked that someone could out do her in terms of incivility and down right rudeness.
The Earl spoke up, "There was no need for that Rex. I do not want to hear anything like that from you again."
Rex, though he looked ashamed, muttered under his breath only loud enough for Darcy to hear, "Bad blood."
The Earl tried to be reasonable with his Godson, "Honestly Darcy. Is this really a good idea? She doesn't have any money or connections."
Darcy looked him in the eye, "She doesn't need them, I have both."
Rex who had recovered himself enough from is last attempt at insulting Darcy decided to give it another shot, "Really Darce, when you said you had met her in Hertfordshire and had taken a fancy to her, Richard and I thought you were going to take her as your mistress."
"Richard thought no such thing and you know that well.", Darcy shot back.
The Countess, who had being appalled by her son's last remark, thought it time to speak up, "Since I seem to be the only once capable of speaking rationally I think it's about time I intervened. Fitzwilliam, child, this is hardly wise. You are probably the most eligible bachelor in England. You haven't got a title..." At this Rex snorted and his mother shot him a look but she continued "but you have money which people infinitely prefer and someone of Miss Bennet's station of life would be, how shall we say, in need of some security. Please Will think better of this infatuation."
Darcy could have taken offence at his Godmother's words but he didn't. While she was opposed to him marrying Elizabeth he knew that she was only thinking of him.
"Please Aunt, I've been fending off unwelcome attentions from girls and their mothers" here William shot a glance at Catherine, "since I came of age. I am in love with Elizabeth. I will marry her."
The Countess looked kindly on her nephew, "Well I shall look forward to meeting the girl who has coaxed you out of bachelorhood."
Both Rex and his father opened their mouths to speak but one look from Rebecca silenced them immediately. As for Lady Catherine, she was still in shock but she was determined that her and her nephew speak later.
Chapter 7- Guess Who's Coming To Dinner? Posted on Saturday, 15 April 2000
Elizabeth did not see Wickham after the party. They was rarely a chance for them to be in each other's company and when they were, Wickham would not show having gone to town on urgent business. Three weeks after the party, the regiment was removed to Brighton for the summer which suited Elizabeth just fine. For Lydia, however, it did not. Though she had received an invitation to go to Brighton she was not allowed to accept. Elizabeth had urged her father to refuse his permission and after been shut up in his library for an hour with Lizzy, he did just that. Strangely enough Mrs. Bennet was not that put out. Though in the beginning she had begged Mr. Bennet to allow Lydia to go, once she heard the future Mrs. Darcy was against it, that was that. And anyway Lydia had to be there for the wedding.
William had been detained in town for a further two weeks on matters of business but the housekeeper of Netherfield had lately been given orders to open the place. Elizabeth was looking forward to seeing him again. Though they had exchanged letters frequently, Lizzy had (much to her surprise) missed him. In the search for wedding clothes all of the Bennet family had gone to the Gardiner's for a week and during that duration dined many times at Darcy's London Home. During that time a wedding date had been set for the thirtieth of June after William insisted on Elizabeth being a June bride. Mr. and Mrs. Darcy, it was decided, were to spend two months on Darcy's estate in Ireland after their wedding before returning to Pemberley (Darcy had wanted to take Elizabeth to the continent for their honeymoon but the war deemed it impossible). Mrs. Bennet had been quite insistent on a lavish wedding but Darcy had been opposed and Mrs. Bennet was not the type to argue with him. It was to be a very small affair. The Bennet's and their extended family were to attend and their friends from Meryton and the surrounding estates. On Darcy's side would be his sister, his cousin Rex the future Earl of Matlock who was to be groomsman (only because their was no one else who could perform the office), his aunt and uncle and some close friends. William made no mention of Lady Catherine and Elizabeth thought it better not to inquire. If he wished to speak about it, he would do so when he was ready. Due to an unfortunate incident involving a nervous horse and an inexperienced rider the vicar that was to perform the ceremony was left indisposed and William and Elizabeth were left with no other choice, much to Mrs. Bennet's delight, than to ask Mr. Collins to perform the ceremony. He refused at first, on the orders of his patroness, but after William offered him a sum of money and an invitation to Pemberley he was too only too happy to oblige.
"What if", Elizabeth asked William one day while they were alone in his house in London, "he decides to put the invitation into practise?"
William, who was deeply occupied in kissing his love, left a trail of soft kisses as he worked his way to her ear and murmured, "We'll be out of the country."
Elizabeth was extremely amused at the attitude of their neighbours and friends to Mr. Darcy. The man they had hated with so much venom only months before was now their favourite son. When William returned to Hertfordshire he received so many invitations that if he were to accept half of them it would mean he could not spend one day with his betrothed before their marriage. Sir William, of course, delighted in going to St. James and boasting of his close family friend, Mrs. Bennet was welcomed with open arms into all the exclusive shops in London because of her esteemed future son and Mr. Collins had already mentioned to Mr. Bennet in one of his letters that he had the favour of the nephew as well as the aunt, Mr. Bennet was rather amused that Mr. Collins seemed to forget that he was to be the boy's father-in-law. Mr. Darcy, needless to say, was welcomed with open arms into the family. Mrs. Bennet had a real affection for his money, Lydia and Kitty had heard that his cousin was a Colonel in the army, Jane loved him like a brother and Mr. Bennet was quite interested in the boy that had taken away his Lizzy. After spending some time with him, Mr. Bennet decided that Darcy was perfect for his daughter. They were both intelligent, stubborn and had very bad tempers. Wouldn't like to be there when they argue, Mr. Bennet chuckled. Mr. Bennet was well aware of Lizzy's feelings. She loved him but she didn't know it. It made, he thought, for very interesting viewing.
And so it was on the day that Fitzwilliam Darcy was to return to Hertfordshire and dine at Longbourn with the family, Mr. Collins arrived at Lucas Lodge with his wife and wasted no time in inviting himself to dinner. And so the dinner party with Mr. and Mrs. Philips thrown in for good measure was deemed complete.
Mr. and Mrs. Collins arrived before the ladies had even dressed for dinner and so Charlotte was forced to sit by herself while Mr. Collins went to Mr. Bennet's study.
"I made sure I was punctual", Mr. Collins said to Mr. Bennet. "Lady Catherine, who I am fortunate to call my esteemed patroness, has always impressed on me the importance of punctuality." Mr. Bennet said nothing but filled Collins glass with Brandy.
Mr. Collins had not the opportunity to say anything more because Hill entered the study to announce the arrival of Mr. Darcy. When Mr. Bennet asked where the gentleman was Hill told him that Darcy had gone into the garden with Miss Elizabeth. Suspecting that the lovers wanted some time to themselves after a separation of over two weeks, Mr. Bennet tried his best at stopping Mr. Collins from "informing Mr. Darcy on the health of his aunt" but alas it was to no avail and Mr. Collins made his way to the garden.
What he found there however upset him deeply and he, on returning to the house, he began to search for some paper to write to Lady Catherine to give her information of the harlot her nephew was marrying. William and Lizzy's activities were actually rather innocent if you consider what Darcy actually wanted to do.
When Darcy came through the front door of Longbourn that evening Elizabeth had been coming down the stairs. She grinned at him and gave a small curtsy, "Good evening Mr. Darcy."
Placing a small but spine tingling kiss on her hand he replied, "Miss Elizabeth."
One look at him told Elizabeth that he felt exactly the same way has she did. He, like her, yearned for them to be alone together. Taking him by the hand she led him silently to a small copse in the garden.
Once he was sure they were out of sight of the house he pulled her to him and wrapping his arms around her waist, kissed her passionately. Elizabeth's feelings were in a tizzy. She knew she didn't love him but she also knew that when they were apart she craved his company and his kisses. Fitzwilliam Darcy was an addiction she couldn't shake.
Chapter 8: Hear Me Calling Posted on Friday, 28 March 2000
A.N: I seem to be always making excuses and now I'm going to make another one. I know there is no way Elizabeth would have known this song, never mind sang it. I don't even know when it was written. The reason I'm using it is that when I was looking for a piece I came across this and realised how perfect the lyrics were. Once I had seen this no other song could fit. Anyone who may be familiar with the piece please excuse any errors as it was transcribed from memory.
William and Elizabeth remained unaware that Mr. Collins or indeed anyone had come across their rendezvous in the garden. Even though Mr. Collins shouts could be heard as he ran to the house Lizzy and William were to engrossed in each other to notice. After a while William pulled away from her and reaching into his pocket took out a ring box from his pocket.
"I wanted to give you this earlier but it the jeweller took much longer than I'd expected to have it cleaned. I think he carries a personal vendetta towards me." he chuckled.
Lizzy eyed the ring box apprehensively, "Oh William you shouldn't have... I mean I didn't expect..."
William smiled letting his dimples show, "Lizzy I didn't. As soon as you accepted me at Hunsford this rightfully belonged to you. It was Mamma's and before her my Grandmother's."
Lizzy opened the box and gasped. Inside was a gold ring with a large opal stone surrounded by diamonds and emeralds. Lizzy had never seen anything so beautiful in her life much less owned something as extravagant as this. William took the ring out of the box and tilted it to place it in her finger. Lizzy saw that the ring bore the inscription, "The heart that has truly loved never forgets".
Lizzy eyed William inquisitively and he, understanding her meaning, replied, "As I said the ring first belonged to my Grandmother. Her and my Grandfather had lived close by each other as children and had been childhood-sweethearts and when they were young he promised to one-day marry her. Anyway time passed and they both grew up and he went off to Cambridge. When he returned home he found her to be engaged to another man and he was heartbroken. She had only accepted the other gentleman on her parents' orders as the family was not wealthy and he could provide her with security. Grandpa tried to reason with himself that regardless of the sentiments of either party he would never have been allowed to marry her anyway as their social positions in life were too different. She was, while the granddaughter of a Lord, the daughter of a man who owned little land. Grandpa was too heartbroken to remain in the area and he left for the continent a while before her wedding day. He vowed that he would never love or marry anyone but her. A week before her wedding her fiancé was killed in a pub brawl. Five years later Grandpa returned to find her still unmarried. They became engaged two weeks after his return home. He had this engraved on the ring and I didn't feel that it was right to change it."
Lizzy quickly wiped away a tear that was forming in her eye. She was both moved by the story and a little overwhelmed by the whole situation. "You know William I've never received anything like this and I...well I mean...I"
"I know." he said softly and kissed her forehead. "Come inside. It's starting to get cold and dinner will be served soon."
They walked inside arm-in-arm.
Dinner passed excruciatingly slowly for both Lizzy and Darcy. Elizabeth had never been so appalled at her family's behaviour. Mrs. Phillips was, needless to say, very vulgar in her attitude towards Mr. Darcy and Mr. Collins, despite the calming influence of his wife, still managed to cause a stir at the dinner table but then perhaps that was more due to the amount of brandy he had consumed. Darcy had noticed early on that Mr. Bennet was trying to make Collins drunk. Every time his glass was even half-empty it was immediately refilled. Darcy threw a questioning look at Mr. Bennet as they walked into the dining room to which the gentleman raised his eyebrows and replied, "These gatherings are always tedious, why not try and make as much trouble as we can?" Darcy was very amused by Mr. Bennet. In the past few weeks that he had been in his company he had developed as much as affection for Mr. Bennet as the gentleman had for him. They found that they had a lot in common including the same taste in books and they were fast on their way to becoming firm friends. Darcy could see in the gentleman's character a similarity to his Grandfather. Lizzy couldn't help noticing the developing relationship between the two and was slightly annoyed by it, not because she wanted to keep her Papa all to herself but rather that when the two men were together they were capable of causing a lot of bother and she would have much preferred to have a peaceful few weeks leading up to her marriage rather than spending her time scolding the pair.
After dinner the men adjourned to the library and the ladies to the drawing room. Lizzy had seen the look that passed between Darcy and her father and knew something was up. She also noticed that Mr. Collins was acting even more ridiculous than usual. Determined however to put all thoughts of the slimy toad out of her mind she turned her attention to Charlotte and the pair spent their time catching up until the gentlemen joined them. After coffee Mr. Phillips and Mr. Collins expressed their desire for a song and everyone else agreed. Though Mary was more than willing to perform the task Mr. Bennet and Jane decided that the newly engaged Elizabeth should be the one. Though she protested that she would rather not, she was not left with much of a choice and her, Jane and Charlotte gathered around the piano to pick out a piece. They argued for a few moments with Jane and Charlotte suggesting pieces and Lizzy blatantly refusing to play them. Though she had done it before, now circumstances were different and Lizzy was nervous at the though of playing in front of Darcy. After some time rummaging through pieces Charlotte had an idea, "Lizzy remember that song you used to play when you were a little girl? You know the Old Irish air?"
"Oh yes Lizzy play that." Jane exclaimed.
Lizzy blushed and protested that she couldn't remember it.
"Nonsense Lizzy", admonished her father. "I heard you humming it yesterday. How long it's been since we heard you sing it. Go on child." Lizzy had no choice but to play it and with a sigh she sat down at the piano. Looking up she caught William's eyes much to her dismay and found that she could not leave it again. "Damn you Fitzwilliam Darcy", she thought. She was acutely aware of her surroundings as she placed her fingers on the keys but as was always the case when she played something she knew well and loved she became uninhibited and surrendered herself to the music. William swore he had never seen anything as beautiful. Her eyes were half-closed and as she played the first few opening bars she bit on her lip in concentration.
Ó a stór mo chroí when you're far, far away
From the home that you'll soon be leaving
'Tis many a time by night and by day
That your heart will be sorely grieving.
For the strangers land may be bright and fair
And rich in her treasures golden
You'll pine I know for the long, long ago
And the love that is never olden
Ó a stór mo chroí in the strangers land
There is plenty of wealth and wailing.
Whilst gems adorn the great and the grand
There are faces with hunger paling
For the road may be weary and hard to tread
And the light of their cities behind you
Ó turn a stór to Erin's green shore
And the loved ones you left behind you
Ó a stór mo chroí when the evening mist
Over mountain and meadow is falling
Won't you turn away from the throng and list
And maybe you'll hear me calling
For the sound of a voice that is sorely missed
For somebody's speedy returning
A rún, a rún won't you come back soon
To the loved one's you left behind you
When the song was over Elizabeth was greeted with rounds of applause. Both Jane and Charlotte complimented her earnestly while Mary felt required to offer some sort of technical criticism, which was duly ignored by Elizabeth. Elizabeth, throwing a glance towards her father, swore she could see a tear forming in his eye and she noticed William just eyed her silently. Whether or not he was touched or moved remained indiscernible. Lizzy did not know him well enough to be able to understand the look in his eye.
The rest of the evening passed mainly without incident, if you can call Mr. Collins and Mary's duet a regular occurrence. Elizabeth noticed William and her father eye each other in amusement and she was rather upset. That sort of behaviour from her father she had grown perfectly use to and if he wanted to make fun of members of his family then in a way it was acceptable but William was a different story. From the very first of their acquaintance he had never tried to hide his distaste for his family even going so far as to remind her of it when he proposed. His antics now were to Elizabeth a way of rubbing their inferiority in her face. Even down to the fact that he was making a mockery of the man that was perform their wedding ceremony seemed to be saying that he didn't feel very serious about it at all. Fitzwilliam Darcy had got what he wanted and now he could sit back and amuse himself. On an evening, which should have brought happiness to so many, a reunion and the giving of such a precious gift, Elizabeth Bennet went to bed with a heavy heart.
Chapter 9: Through A Glass, Darkly Posted on Monday, 18 September 2000
On the night before her wedding to Fitzwilliam Darcy, Elizabeth Bennet sat in front of the mirror in her bedchamber. Sighing softly she reflected on the past few weeks.
After the dinner party all those weeks ago William had once again become distant. Though never as much as in the beginning of their acquaintance he was back to being cool and reserved. The display's of affection now virtually non-existent to what they had being once and Darcy became less eager to impress on her the intensity of his affections, in fact sometimes it seemed like he didn't care at all. As the wedding neared Elizabeth found herself becoming more miserable. Sometimes she would catch him looking at her they way he used to when the first met. His look an odd mixture of sorrow, longing, anger and helplessness. Helplessness indeed!, thought Elizabeth. Helplessness that he got himself stuck in this situation. And in her determination to show him that he wasn't getting rid of her that easy, that he couldn't love her one minute and be sick of her the next, Elizabeth only succeeded in pushing him further away.
Less than three miles away, the object of her thoughts tossed and turned in his bed, his need of sleep being constantly refused. Finally throwing aside the sheets in frustration, as he knew sleep would not come tonight, he got up and walked to the window. Tomorrow she would finally be his, but in name only. Any dreams he had of her loving him had vanished the night of the dinner party at Longbourn. Watching her sing, the sorrow mixed with fear and loneliness that was present in her eyes, he realised she didn't love him and probably never did. He trusted her enough to know that she wasn't in it for mercenary reasons and yet he had to wonder why she had said yes. He knew that many people would say that if he really loved her, the honourable thing to do would be to release her from their engagement. But no matter how close he came to it, he couldn't. He couldn't face the prospect of losing her entirely.
The sun had barely rose from its sleep when Rex woke his cousin the following morning. "Come on Darcy-boy, you don't want to let your blushing bride think she's been left at the alter."
Rex had arrived in Hertfordshire a week after Darcy and promptly met Elizabeth, falling in love with her in an instant. All previous thoughts of Miss Bennet being an unsuitable match for his adored baby cousin were forgotten and were it not for his cousin's previous claim on Miss Bennet and that his own affections lay elsewhere he might have being tempted to make a play for her himself, her charm and intelligence had captured him already.
"Rex, it's only seven-thirty. The wedding's not till eleven." William replied, making no attempt to get up. He'd finally fallen asleep around half-past four.
Rex rolled his eyes, "I know but you usually take about an hour to dress, you're always so fussy. God knows what you'll be like on your wedding day."
William couldn't help but snigger and Rex continued, "You know if you're not at the church on time, I might have to step into the breech and marry your Elizabeth myself."
William gave an ironic laugh, "Somehow I can't see you doing that."
William knew his cousin well. He knew that Rex was a proud man and too mortified to admit to anyone including his own self that he felt more affection for members of his own sex that those of the opposite. Too terrified of the public scorn and even perhaps legal prosecution Rex kept his feelings to himself.
Rex got up and headed for the door, "Considering it's your last morning of bachelor-hood and all that I let you have a few minutes in bed to gather your thoughts regarding your upcoming nuptials and all that. I'll send your valet in ten minutes."
William sniggered, "Thank you Rex, you're so kind"
Elizabeth and her wedding party arrived at the church at exactly fifteen minutes past the hour, obliging the customary tradition to be late and waiting just long enough to make William believe she wasn't coming. Her watched her walking up the steps to the church, swinging gaily off her father's arm. Dressed in a white muslin gown, a crown of ivy, baby's breath and blue wildflowers upon her head, she looked stunning. His sister Georgiana, who was dressed as the bridesmaids in a blue gown, leaned up to her future sister in-law and with a wry smile whispered something in her ear. Entranced, he looked as Elizabeth laughed and threw her head back, exposing the ivory skin on her long neck. Regaining her composure Elizabeth leaned over to her father a gave him a final kiss on the cheek and before William knew it the wedding march was being played and Elizabeth was making her way, ever so slowly, towards him.
When she reached him he must have noticed a look of nervousness on her face as he took her hand in his own and stroked it comfortingly, tracing small patterns on her palm. Elizabeth watched him staring at her intently, moved by the emotion in his eyes. Raising her hand to his mouth, he kissed it lightly before letting go and waiting for the ceremony to begin.
Coughing and spluttering, Mr. Collins made his way to the altar. He watched nervously at the door to see if there was any sign of Lady Catherine coming to stop this scandalous marriage. Just in case. Slowly and in a tone which some may call reverently he began the ceremony. "In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy goat... Ghost, sorry I meant Ghost."
Sniggers could be heard from the back of the church and Darcy closed his eyes in horror. The ceremony continued and so did Collins' blunders. At one point, when asking if there were anyone who were against the marriage, he began to read a letter from his patroness Lady Catherine de Burgh. It was Mr. Bennet who stepped in and stopped him. But the crème de la crème of supreme cock-ups came when they were least expecting it, when vows were being exchanged. Instead of naming the bride, Mr. Collins slipped in Anne de Bourgh's name instead whether on purpose or by accident. Evidently he had been practising for that marriage for a long time. Elizabeth watched as William tensed, becoming angrier and angrier. She squeezed his hand gently, mirroring what he had done earlier. And then she turned and smiled at her father, finding what tiny little bit of amusement there was in all his. But inside her heart was breaking.
By luncheon they were husband and wife. After signing the register, they walked out to the church steps were they shared a chaste kiss, cheered on by all the guests and onlookers, before leaving in the morning sun.