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"Good evening," said Darcy as soon as Elyse opened the door of her modest townhouse. Wide-eyed, she let him in nonetheless. In this evening in late January, the weather was turning for the worse. Snow continued to fall, but it was now mixing with freezing rain.

"Well, to what do we owe this pleasure?" she said playfully while taking the jacket from him.

Wiping the rain off his face the best he could, he grimaced, "Business. I need to review a few things with Paul but no one's home. Since I'm in the area, I thought to drop this off with you since I'll be gone again for a few days."

"Yes, Paul and Katherine left last night, calling away by one of their children. They should be back in a few days. I suppose you didn't call before coming?"

"No, I was in such a hurry that that thought escaped me. Serves me right, doesn't it?" His hair was glistening with snow.

She offered him a dry towel, which he accepted gratefully. She motioned him to the living room and said, "Would you care to stay for dinner? It's just about done."

"I'd love to, I hope it's not too much trouble," he smiled at his good fortune.

She reassured him and returned a smile. By the time he was done drying his hair, Aaron and Aster came to greet him. They remembered their guest fondly and were pleased with this surprise visit.

After dinner, they relaxed in the living room. The little townhouse, with its pure simplicity and, more importantly, its occupants, was so soothing that Darcy was content to stay forever. But it was getting late, and he had a plane to catch tomorrow. With a deep sigh, he got up and was about to take his leave when the broadcast indicated worsening weather conditions. As if trying to verify it, they looked out the windows. Indeed, the weather had changed for the worse. The rain had turned to sleet, a condition most hazardous for traveling.

"Well," Elyse said, "looks like your trip will be delayed." Then, a thought struck her, and she continued without thinking, "I'm afraid you'd have to stay for the night."

Despite of the sudden surge in his stomach, Darcy had to admit that going back to Ackerley tonight was out of the question. He rubbed his temples with his fingers before he responded.

"I'm afraid you've spoken the truth and I have to inconvenience you," he tried to sound steady.

"Please don't mention it, it's only fair I return the favor. I have inconvenienced you long enough!" She reassured him.

"Let me call Clarke first." He walked to the kitchen and retrieved the phone from his briefcase. After informing Clarke the situation, he felt it was only sensible to cancel his business trip. He would have to manage it through conference calls, he thought.

When he was done with all the logistics, he suddenly remembered where he was. He almost groaned. This might turn out to be the biggest dilemma in his life yet! With apprehension, he returned to the living room and turned his attention to his hostess.

"Let me get some changed clothing from my luggage. It really comes in handy in a time like this."

"There is a sofa bed in the study, if you wish to sleep there," as soon as Darcy returned, Elyse offered. "We have sleeping bags too if you prefer the living room floor. I must apologize. This must be very uncomfortable for you."

"Thank you, I think the study will be fine," he answered.

While they were talking, memory of the time she stayed at Ackerley returned to her. She could not help giggling over the irony of it. He looked at her quizzically.

"I'm sorry," she tried to put on a straight face but failed miserably. "This reminds me of the time I was at Ackerley. Just think, your study and library upstairs alone was bigger than this whole townhouse!"

As she was thus revealing, he just looked at her with an amused expression on his face. Suddenly, she became a little self-conscientious. Perhaps she was acting a little too silly around such a prominent man. She collected herself and found something more appropriate to say.

"Oh, let me get your some blankets and pillows first."

Elyse retrieved the necessary items from the closet and put them on the living room floor. She was beginning to put the comforter inside a duvet cover when Aaron and Aster decided to roll on it. To her dismay, that was only the beginning of their inspiration. Spotted the pillows, the two youngsters decided to embark on a pillow fight as well. They were having so much fun that Elyse could not help laughing. After successfully ducking a pillow, she picked it up and threw it back to the offender. Soon, she was also in the middle of the action. Darcy was all astonishment! The three continued for a while until they collapsed on top of the blankets and pillows with a peal of laughter.

It was then Elyse remembered the existence of a guest in their house. Blushing and trying to catch her breath, she said apologetically.

"I fear I must apologize again!" She gasped, "We just can't resist, this is so much fun! We haven't done this in a while. You must think that we've lost all decorums!"

"Not at all," he smiled, his dimples clearly showing. Then he continued gravely, "I remember doing the same when I was little." He continued to look at her. Then a mischievous gleam flickered in his eyes as he resumed, "But again, I've outgrown that, unlike some people... "

He never had the chance to finish his sentence because his head was rewarded with a soft thud. With a yelp, he hauled the object back to the offender. And he did not stop there. It was Elyse's turn to feel all astonishment!

It was some times later when they finally collapsed in front of the fireplace, understandably a little exhausted. They were still giggling when a yawn escaped Aster. After looking at the clock by the mantel and then at her guest, Elyse exclaimed.

"Oops! We have so much fun that it's way past the kids' bedtime. Let me settle them in first."

Darcy was inspecting some pictures when Elyse returned. Instantly, he turned to face her. Alone with her at last! While this thought raced through his mind, her opening put an end to it.

"Perhaps we should make the best use of our time?" she suggested.

What does she have in mind? His mind was racing again.

"How about going over the new materials you just brought over?" She looked at him expectedly.

Well, he could think of other more pleasurable pastimes. But what choice did he have? Come to think of it, it was not a bad idea at all.

It was not long before they finished reviewing the materials. They lapsed into companionable silence. Darcy resumed his inspection of the pictures when a family portrait caught his attention. Without looking up, he asked.

"How is it working out?" He took a seat next to her at the sofa.

"With Glen?" she asked intuitively. He nodded and she continued, "At first, Aaron and Aster seemed eager to visit him, but it's becoming more like an obligation, a duty. But he has visitation rights. He is their father after all." She sighed quietly.

Darcy had never met Glen, nor did he wish to. The thought of any man would divorce Elyse blew his mind. He was unaware of it at the time, but now he understood why she seemed so dispirited towards the end of her stay at Ackerley. If he only knew... She spoke little about the divorce. Being curious, he had asked Charlotte tactfully about it. But it was obvious that the reasons were never revealed. But Glen had remarried soon after the divorce, could it be...? No! How could he do that to her? That possibility never occurred to him until now, and he could not trust himself what he was about to do. Unknowingly, he gritted his teeth and clenched his fists. Trying desperately to control his anger towards the man who hurt the woman he loved so deeply, he averted his face and looked out the windows.

Elyse was watching him cautiously and wondered if she had in any way offended him.

"Are you all right," she asked tentatively.

Her voice brought him back, and the hesitation in it did not go unnoticed. He kicked himself mentally for acting like some formidable beast.

"I'm fine, thank you," he replied. Forcing himself to speak in a gentler tone, he continued, "It must be hard on you, going through it all and with the kids."

"Yes, it has been trying. But life goes on and we must deal with it."

"Do you still love him?" The words just tumbled out of his mouth. When he realized it, he was mortified. He glanced at her quickly before examining the intricate patterns on the sofa.

Her astonishment in hearing his question was no less than his saying it. Brows knitting, she studied him curiously while trying to respond.

Does she still love Glen? She could safely say "No." Come to think of it, did she ever love him, and did he ever love her?

Young and inexperienced at the time, she did not really know what to expect. Nevertheless, she had never expected their relationship to be the like of some romance novels. Now that it was over, she knew she had never felt the slightest of the high emotions alluded to in such novels. Even before their discourse and his betrayal, she had always felt something lacking. Now more experienced, older, and hopefully, wiser, she could say that a marriage, or a relationship, had little chance of surviving when it was not based on love and respect. Glen certainly did not love nor respect her. Otherwise, he would not have shattered her dreams and their family by betraying and divorcing her.

What is this elusive thing called love? Does it exist for everyone, or is it only for the fortunate few?

While she was still searching for an answer, Darcy looked at her warily. His distress increased when her face began to cloud over. As if trying to comfort her, he reached out and possessed her hands in his. Something on her left hand hindered his progress. He looked down and saw the platinum opal ring on her finger. Unknowingly, he gave it a slight turn as more words tumbled out of his mouth.

"Do you... do you believe in second chances?" As soon as he realized what happened, he was so abashed that he released her hands from his possession.

This was truly a night of astonishment! Her previous contemplation now abandoned, her eyes instantly flew at him as her mind began to contemplate the new one. She still remembered the day when Richard jokingly asked her about it. Although she longer felt the devastation as she had felt then, her conviction remained unchanged. Why do people keep asking me this? She was really in no humor for it. Feigning a playful tone, she countered.

"I'm afraid I must repeat myself, 'Never Again'." She tried to put it lightly. However, as if trying to close the topic once and for all, with an earnest expression, she continued, "It isn't something I like to relive."

"What happened? If I may be so presumptuous?" His courage returned.

This was getting too much! Quite abruptly, she got up from the sofa and busied herself with straightening up the toss pillows.

"I'd rather not talk about it," she put in. Then with a mischievous gleam, she asked just as presumptuously, "How about you? Do you plan to get married one of these days?"

Almost just as abruptly, he got up from the sofa before she could finish the question. Absentmindedly, he ruffled his disheveled hair with his fingers while desperately trying to becalm his raging emotions. He looked across the room and a pewter frame perched on the table caught his attention. As if being summoned, he walked towards it and picked it up with his trembling fingers.

Although the pattern of the frame was slightly different, the picture was identical. He had held it so many times before, especially when he was alone... Unbidden, just how alone he had felt returned to haunt him. For a moment, he had to close his eyes to will the familiar pain away.

The anguish on his face was too disheartening. Memory of the same expressions when she inquired about his health in the study at Ackerley returned to her. She could almost feel his pain, but before she could find the words to comfort him, he responded.

"Do I plan to get married? I hope so, someday, but it all depends..." He choked on the last word, while his eyes finding hers, fixing hers.

If his eyes had been mesmerizing before, they were now even more so. A shiver went up her spine and the unfamiliar warmth began to radiate from her core. She found herself rendered helpless under his steadfast gaze. As if the flame in those dark gray orbs pleaded for closer examination, she responded by taking a few steps forwards, closing the distance between them.

He held his spot. To be in the same room with her for so long was torturous enough. But with her glorious eyes, filled with compassion, looking at him, and moving closer? Does she have any idea what she's doing to me? With a groan, he tore his eyes away from her.

Relieved to be released from his captive gaze, she regained her bearings. What's the matter with me? She could only attribute to the obvious. When standing in front of a man such as he, any woman would be affected, though with various degrees. She was certainly not the first or would be the last to swoon at his feet! Nevertheless, trying to appear impervious, she resumed.

"Depends?" she repeated. Then her mind also repeated. Depends? Didn't he say 'depends' when she asked if he had a name for the new greenhouse?

Knowing that she was not ready to hear it, he was not ready to reveal more. He told himself to be patient, but he could not help feeling agitated. His feelings, which deepened with every second he spent with her, were getting harder and harder to repress. Frustrated, in a tone colder than he realized, he responded.

"Marriage is one of the most important decisions in life, and it's definitely not to be taken lightly. Don't you think?"

His voice sounded a little harsh. Given her obvious failure in this regard, she could not help wondering if he were being sarcastic.

"Well, perhaps not everyone married for the right reason, but I think most plunged into it with the best intention."

"Are you speaking from experience?"

"I'm no expert, but yes, I am." She did not like to dwell on herself any further. It was imperative to turn this around. "So, throw me a bone, Darcy, one can safely say that you have no lack of eligible candidates. Your aunt seems to be quite resourceful." She left out a soft laugh, remembering how annoyed he was with his aunt's good intentions.

However, he was not amused. He fixed his devastating eyes at her again when he confessed.

"Yes, but one is all I need."

Obviously not satisfied with his response, she flashed her expectant eyes at him. He rolled his eyes at her tactics before he continued to reveal in resignation.

"Yes, there is one."

"I knew it! So?" She blurted out excitedly.

"No, not so fast, but I'm a patient man." He was exasperated by her enthusiasm. If she only knew...

"Has she met the family?"

"No... Yes... I mean... " Just as suddenly, he lapsed into silence. That familiar shade of helplessness clouded over his eyes as he resumed his intense gaze at her.

How often had she seen him looking so despondently like that? It was a clear signal that the topic should be dropped. It was plain to see that this question caused him pain. Although she was becoming more curious, she was not offended if he chose to reveal little to her. But why had he repeatedly evaded this inquiry from his family?

Realized he was now staring at her, he hoped that his expressions did not betray him. Trying to distract himself, he looked out the windows again. Sleet mixing with snow was still falling. Thank Heaven! She did not persist, if she did, he could not trust himself to respond. Sighing deeply, he switched to a safer topic.

"I hope this will end before the night's over. We certainly have our share of adverse weather this winter."

"No winter lasts forever; no spring skips it's turn. ** Only with winter-patience can we bring the deep-desired, long-awaited spring. *** " She put in mildly.

Since the unfamiliarity was not conducive to immediate slumber, alone in his temporary lodging, he reflected on what had transpired earlier that evening. While his own audacity had shocked him, her answers, or lack of them, continued to perturb him.

She had evaded his question of whether she still loved Glen. Does she? He could not stop the sharp pang of jealousy gnawing inside him.

On the contrary, she did not hesitate on reaffirming her conviction on his question of second chances. "Never Again," she had repeated. Is it because she still loves Glen, or she had loved him so much that she had no more to give to another?

If only she knew how much her questions and responses had tortured him!

As he shifted in the unfamiliar bed, unavoidably, his hands touched the pillows and the comforter. A soft chuckle escaped him as he remembered who had frolicked on them before. Instantly, the perturbance became much more bearable. Somehow, the knowledge that only a thin wall separated him from her comforted him. Moreover, the mere thought of her caused a rush of warmth spreading all over him -- unaccountably warm for a cold night like this. After a deep sigh, he submitted to the alluring warmth. Before he drifted off, the last thing he remembered was her words: No winter lasts forever... **

* Flavia Weedn (Flavia and the Dream Maker)
** Hal Borland
*** Anne Morrow Lindbergh

Chapter 26: Some Say Let It Go

Like it had happened so many times before, his feet brought him near. Yet, after some hesitation, he walked past it and headed towards the refreshment room further down the hall. Once his coffee mug was filled, his feet retraced their steps but halted at the same spot he had paused. After a deep sigh, he looked inside wistfully.

The morning sun was in its glory, casting its radiance everywhere inside the office and especially on the single occupant, or so it seemed. Leaning back on the leather chair with her long legs crossed demurely, she was absorbed in the task before her as evident by her knitted brows. A pen was captured by her front teeth and supported at one end by a few nimble fingers of her right hand. Occasionally, she removed the instrument and applied it to the task.

Involuntarily, he let out the breath he was holding, content just being an observer, oblivious to the fact that he was rooted on the spot. Just then, the subject of his admiration looked up and caught his steadfast gaze. Amused but no less perplexed by his expression, she smiled. Lately, she noticed he had been acting a little strange, not quite his usual carefree self.

"Good morning, Steve!" Elyse put down the paper and pen and greeted him. "So I see coffee is ready." She reached across the desk for the empty mug, got up and walked towards him.

"Yes, three fresh pots are at your service." The steadfast look on his face now broke into a grin, but his eyes never left her. While her long hair shone even more brilliantly in the sunlight, her eyes sparkled like diamonds. Indeed, she was diamond of the first water! He chuckled, realizing he had just borrowed from a Regency phrase. As if trying to drink in her loveliness, he took a big gulp from his mug.

"Great! I really need some this morning! I better fortify myself before the meeting." Glancing down at her wristwatch, she continued, "It's almost time, are you ready?" Without waiting for a response, she went to get her mug filled.

It took all his will power not to follow her. Although he succeeded in staying where he was, his eyes did not. They found their way back to her, watching her retreating figure over the rim of his mug. Stop! As he admonished himself, he traced the outline of the mug with his long fingers. So far, not acting out his feelings was feasible, but not feeling them was a different matter, they just simmered inside. He sighed deeply. He ought to stay away. After giving her a nod, he returned to his office.

Even thought he could stay away, his thoughts could not. After the meeting, he succumbed to his desire and sought her out.

"Elyse, any plan for lunch today?" He asked as soon as they were alone in her office.

"No, why?" She put away the meeting materials and glanced at her calendar.

"I still owe you a lunch, remember?" The intensity in his eyes bespoke his avidity.

"Oh! It was nothing, don't mention it. Besides, it was weeks ago." She shook her head to emphasize.

"So it was, but the fact remains, I still owe you a well-deserved lunch." He was in a willful mood and her refusal only fueled his persistence.

She studied him for a few seconds, trying to decide on his offer. Her attention was then caught by the glorious sunlight cascading through the windows. When was the last time she went out for lunch? Her eyes found their way back to him, whose hair, eyes, and smile were as vibrant as the sun. She was tempted; besides, he was always so very entertaining.

"If you so insist, why not?" finally, she shrugged.

Her noncommittal response did not discourage him at all. Instead, the happiness he felt eliciting such a devastating smile from him that it would have weakened any woman's knees. Unfortunately, its effect was lost on the one intended. While she was not charmed, he was utterly so, even when she did not try. Later, when she was sitting snuggly beside him inside his silver sport car, he felt like on the top of the world.

"Steve!" An elder gentleman approached them soon after they had placed their orders.

"Papa!" cried Steve. He got up and embraced the stranger heartily. "When did you arrive and... why?" With head tilted slightly, he asked half-accusingly.

"Well, well, about an hour ago." The senior Remington eyed Steve fondly and continued, "I've just dropped off my luggage at your place and thought to have some lunch in our favorite restaurant to pass the time."

Steve was used to his father's surprise visits. He would probably never admit it, but he enjoyed the spontaneity. Temporary being forgotten, Elyse was free to watch with amusement. There was an unmistakable resemblance between the father and son. In his early seventies and still very handsome and trim, the father possessed a subtle yet definitive regal air. Caught by her laughing eyes, he realized his intrusion.

"I beg your pardon," he gave Elyse an elegant nod, "I hope I'm not interrupting anything? Now, Steve, who is this lovely lady here?" His piercing dark-blue eyes, so like his son's, twinkled.

"Indeed you have, Papa!" Steve tried to appear offended but was thwarted by his father's snicker. Seeing Elyse's waggling eyebrows, he resumed with some exasperation, "This lovely lady here is Elyse. Elyse, this is my formidable father in case you haven't figured that out yet."

"Pleased to meet you, sir." Elyse extended her hand while trying to contain her mirth.

"The pleasure is all mine, please call me Percy." Percy shook her offered hand. He did not miss that slightly upturned corner of her mouth.

"Papa, do join us." Steve then turned to Elyse, "I hope you don't mind?"

She accorded with a smile. This may turn out to be one of the most entertaining lunches yet. Her smile widened at that thought.

Since Elyse and Steve had to return to work, they could not stay long. Nonetheless, Elyse enjoyed this diversion. Now she knew where Steve got his charisma. She was affected by their obvious affection, and somehow, with this knowledge, her friend rose in her estimation.

Elyse was not the only observant one. Naturally, the father was curious about his son's companion. But as the meal progressed, his curiosity was only heightened. Even when his son tried to hide them, glimpses of admiration managed to escape more frequent than not. The young man was besotted. However, the same could not be said for his companion. For sure, she was cordial and amiable and they demonstrated good rapport, but that was the sum of her interaction. He was curious, very curious. For as far as he remembered, it had always been the woman who initiated any overture. He could not help chuckling at that irony. Finally, here was a woman who could bring his favorite son to his heels without even lifting a finger! Yes, this trip might turn out to be very interesting indeed.

"So, Steve, tell me about her." Percy did not waste any time. In the evening, while the two savored some fine spirits in the living room, he broached the subject.

"Whom are you referring to?" Steve knew what his father was about but it would not do to discuss this. Besides, what was there to tell?

"Whom? Are you again having too many to remember?" Percy liked to provoke him.

"I should ask you why you're here in the first place," Steve tactfully avoided the question again.

Since they were the closest confidants, Percy knew he was evading. He would get him talking one time or the other, and time was on his hand, he surmised. So he decided to retreat for the present.

"Your mother sent me. She was worried sick about you." After throwing him a keen look, he took a seat in front of the baby-grand piano and began to strike a jazzy tune.

"Pardon? I thought I've gone beyond the worry phase long time ago already." Steve retorted.

"Steve, anyone has eyes can see that you're not yourself during your visit."

"I can assure you that I'm perfectly fine!" A little too abruptly, Steve drained the last of the glass and proceeded to fill it with another generous portion.

"So, tell me about her," Percy persisted while alternating his glances cautiously between his son and the glass. Steve was never a heavy drinker.

"There's nothing to tell, we just work together, that's all! And you know how I feel about that." Steve stared at the amber liquid in the glass as he spoke. "Anyway, you caught us on our first time out, and it was strictly business. I owed her a lunch."

"Oh?" Percy was all ears.

"Remember the Paris deal just before the holidays? I left the blasted portfolio home that morning, and since we must finish the proposal, she came over. We worked through lunch." His exasperation only increased when memory of that day flooded his mind. Absentmindedly, he took such a big gulp from his glass that almost choked him. He eyed the offending object menacingly before setting it down summarily on the mantel.

"She came here?" Stunned, Percy gasped. "I thought you don't bring women home unless you're... " His fingers on the piano faltered a little.

"No, I don't," Steve interrupted impatiently, "and it remains so, although... although she didn't believe me either. Besides, she doesn't count." Frustrated, he ran his fingers through his curly blond hair and put in, "Anyway, it... It doesn't matter. Now, how long do you plan to stay this time?"

With that, he took over his father's place at the piano and stuck the first tune that came to his mind.

Under the crisp February sky on Valentine's Day, Charlotte and Richard declared their everlasting love. Dozen or so doves were released, as if carrying the sacred promises to the Heaven above. The holy matrimony was sealed.

The ceremony was as heartfelt as one ought to be, so emotional arousing that more than a few tears were drawn from the witnesses. Even Elyse, who had lost her faith, could not help being affected by the pure devotion on the newlyweds' faces. When the chorus sang the song of dedication, a faint flicker of hope moved across her face.

Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it's there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble, when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home

Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself, and don't know what to do
The memory of love will see you through

Oh! Love to some is like a cloud, to some as strong as steel
For some a way of living, for some a way to feel
And some say love is holding on, and some say let it go
And some say love is everything, some say they don't know

Perhaps love is like the ocean, full of conflicts, full of pain
Like a fire when it's cold outside, thunder when it rains
If I should live forever, and all my dreams come true
My memory of love will be of you *

After glancing heavenward, Elyse felt truly blessed to be the giver and taker of different kinds of love. Love as a mother and as a friend, and love from her children and her friends; these should be sustaining enough. When her thought drifted to the most elusive kind, she sighed with resignation.

Determined to put aside all senses of regret, she resumed her attention to the chorus. Suddenly, she remembered she had used the same song to comfort Geoffrey that night so long ago in Pemberley. That memory willed her eyes to seek out the youngster who was sitting between Aaron and Aster.

Handsomely attired in a white tuxedo, Geoffrey was any parent's dream. Life had made its mark, he was no longer the little child who wept over her shoulders. The confidence and noble mien emanated from his person was a culmination of the adversity he had overcome. Of course, his sound character had done him credit, but he had the added advantage of an excellent father and a loving family to guide him.

With that thought, she turned to look at the man standing next to her. She and Alex were paired up as the Maid of Honor and Best Man. To her utter surprise, their glances met. She smiled at that coincidence. As always, as soon as the smile emerged slowly from her mouth, it cascaded rapidly and reflected in her glorious eyes. Alex found himself unable to avert his gaze.

To say that she was breathtaking was an understatement, especially under the special occasion. Her lovely face aside, the dusty-rose off-shoulder dress befitted her perfectly, showing her smooth and creamy complexion to their best advantages. Her long hair was braided and tied up, with only a few tendrils dangling enticingly on her long, elegant neck. Captivating to begin with, she grew on you. She was one of those women whose beauty was ageless and timeless, unlike those whose superficial glamour faded over time. However, her appearance was only one of her many amiable qualities, Alex surmised as he continued to observe with pleasure. For those who were fortunate to know her, they could not help coveting the many endearing and admirable qualities hidden inside that pleasing persona.

Unbidden, his thoughts drifted to his own wedding day so many years ago. He still remembered how happy he was, being married to the love of his life. Life was so perfect then. He shook his heads slightly, trying not to dwell in the past too much. He reminded himself that although his happy days were cut short tragically, nonetheless, he had loved, and that love should sustain him forever. ... The memory of love will see you through...*. Yes, he should consider himself fortunate because unlike him, some had never found 'the one', and some had suffered from dashing hopes and irreconcilable differences.

Sensing his pensive mood, Elyse turned her attention to the other designated couple. As expected, Heather worshipped Darcy with awe and admiration, fully taking advantage of the proximity the occasion offered. Unfortunately, her efforts were lost. Knowing the pre-arrangement, Darcy had dreaded this day; and now that it was finally here, his aversion was in full bloom. However, good manners required him to play his role and act cordially. Tried as he might, he could not help his gaze drifting to the lovely vision beside his cousin, wishing fervently that he were in his place.

Soon, the newlyweds began the evening with their first dance as husband and wife, shortly followed by the others. Elyse was lured by the mellow melody after such an exhausting day. She rested her head on Alex's broad shoulder while they moved on the dance floor.

When visions around you
Bring tears to your eyes
And all that surrounds you
Are secrets and lies

I'll be your strength
I'll give you hope
Keeping your faith when it's gone
The one you should call
Is standing here all alone

And I will take you in my arms
And hold you right where you belong
Till the day my life is through
This I promise you, this I promise you... **

"The wedding's lovely, Alex," began Elyse softly. "Having it in your home really added an intimate touch. Richard is fortunate to have a brother like you."

"What's family for?" He protested. "I'm really happy for him and Charlotte. They're perfect for each other."

As their dance continued, she found herself feeling more sentimental. How fortunate it is to have found the one you love, and that same one declares such dedication and loving promises to you?

"This song is just about perfect for the occasion, don't you think, Alex?" Closing her eyes, she sighed. After a few turns, she looked up at Alex and smiled a little smile, which seemed a little bitter. Then, as if to herself, she said softly, "Such promises almost inspire hope for the hopeless."

Alex tried to acknowledge with a smile, but as he watched her upturned face, something inside him stirred. When he realized the last time he had experienced a similar feeling, he was alarmed. Unknowingly, he shivered a little.

"Something's the matter?" Concerns were written in her eyes.

"No, I'm fine," he replied after taking a deep breath. "Just that it has been such a long day, actually, it'd been many months finally leading up to this day. I'm quite exhausted. I'm not as young as I used to be, you know."

She laughed at this disclosure. They continued the rest of dance mostly in silence.

Not far away, another couple danced with much less affability. Totally inattentive to his partner's attempt on clever conversation, Darcy's attention was fixed on the couple nearby. He knew he was being unreasonable, but seeing her in anyone else's arms, even his cousin's, made him flinched. Moreover, he did not like their natural ease, but most of all, he did not like the way his cousin looked at her. As far as he could remember, other than his wife, Alex had never looked at any other woman so intently. Suddenly, panic struck him with that realization, and he was unprepared for the sharp slam in his gut.

Does Alex want more than friendship from Elyse?

After finished dancing with Elyse, Alex resumed his duty and mingled with the guests. However, the rare emotion that troubled him earlier continued to linger. Confused, he felt a timeout to sort things out was in order.

Like Darcy in some ways, he was very cautious. Given his station in life, he had to fend off unwanted advances. His love for his wife was deep and genuine, and in his eyes, she was irreplaceable. Although Geoffrey was thriving, he still worried the deprivation of nurturing only a loving mother could bring.

Suddenly, the image of Elyse moved into that vacant place. Taken an immediate liking of her, Geoffrey had doted on her ever since. He had no doubt that she could fill that gap. Honesty demanded an immediate admission. He could not deny that he felt warmly towards her. How could anyone not? His assessment of her earlier returned. Yes, she was an embodiment of everything good.

However, just as suddenly, her vow of never love again came back to him vividly. What is her perspective now? The thought of even considering her in that light surprised him. When his wife died, he had thought he had buried that sort of feeling along with her. Then again, Elyse was no ordinary woman. An urgent need to assess her feelings seized him. Being a decisive man, he concluded that there was no time like the present. With that in mind, he searched for her.

"Would you like to get some fresh air?" Alex began, as soon as he found Elyse.

"An excellent idea," Elyse was surprised, "funny that I was just thinking about it!"

Alex led Elyse to the terrace outside. After walking in silence for a while, he looked into the moonlit sky and began.

"It's time like this that stirs up one's deepest emotions. It brings back so much memories of my wedding day."

"Quite," Elyse responded, trying not to bring back memories of hers. "It must have been quite painful when you lost someone you'd loved so dearly."

"Indeed, it took a long time to heal and adjust, the pain never goes away. Thankfully, Geoffrey has thrived. I'm truly blessed, he's so resilient."

"Indeed, Geoffrey is becoming such a fine young man," she said reflectively. Seeing herself in a similar situation, she continued, "Aaron and Aster have adjusted to the divorce far better than I've expected. As a parent, I can only hope that their lives will turn out to be as happy and fulfilling as they deserve. Don't you wish the same for Geoffrey?"

"Yes, that's all I can ask for," he replied. After a short pause, he braced himself for that imposing question, "Don't you feel lonely sometimes?"

Surprised, she almost laughed. She found it strange that more than once she had been asked similar question. Just like Darcy did... She startled, realizing that somehow, that particular person seemed to seep into her thoughts so effortlessly. She shook herself out of the stupor and responded.

"Well, for better or for worse, I've learned to adjust, besides, I don't really have time to feel lonely. You know how Aster is. And then I'm still working towards my degree. From the rate it's going, it'll probably take forever, but I've promised myself to achieve that." Feeling she had said enough about herself on the subject, she decided to tease him, "I can ask you the same question. So, don't you get lonely sometimes? After all, you only have one child to consider."

"Overall, no, not really," he laughed a little as he confessed. "Like you, being a parent, my energy is devoted to Geoffrey. After my wife, I feel the need to give me twice the amount of attention. Do Aaron and Aster miss their father?"

"I suppose they do," she said, "but they see him regularly, and he is still accessible, so, in a way, there's still consistency in their lives."

"You seriously don't feel devoid of companionship?" He looked at her searchingly.

"Being married for so long at one time, and ultimately, seeing how it'd ended, I can assure that I won't think about that for a while, if ever, for that matter, if I can help it," she put in.

If her answer did not convince him, the finality in her tone did. "Well, at least that answered my question," Alex thought to himself. This would give him the more reason to quench his newfound feelings towards her. For some odd reason, he felt as if a heavy burden had been lifted. He could only conclude that whatever happened during their dance before was just an imagination, briefly ignited by the romantic notion under the occasion. He would always treasure her friendship, and he was glad that he did not feel any awkwardness after this conversation. As the evening breeze became windier, they returned to the celebration inside.

The obligatory dance that Darcy had loathed from the beginning finally ended. After what seemed a lifetime of social mingling, he could take it no longer. He headed where he was now, while the realization that so alarmed him before returned to him in full force.

Leaning against one of the pillars, he gazed into the moonlit turquoise sky above. The garden where the ceremony took place earlier was now deserted. Although his mind was still perturbed, at least now he was absent from all the eyes of the world, he could let down his guards and free to ponder the upheaval that had, and still, ravaged him.

Does Alex want more than friendship from Elyse?

He forced himself to take a few deep breaths before continuing. All revolting thoughts aside, he had to admit the suitability and practicality of that probability.

Hasn't Geoffrey already doted on Elyse? Wouldn't Alex make a welcome father figure to Aaron and Aster?

By fate and by choice, he had spent most of his life as a solitaire. Overloaded with expectations and responsibilities at an early age, he seldom had time to feel lonely. Perhaps his life had not been as exciting as measured by worldly standards, but it had been perfectly fine and orderly, and he could honestly say that he had little regrets.

Then out of nowhere, like a supernova, she came along, and he was never the same again.

She had added so much to his life, eliciting feelings that were previously unknown to him. Since then, he was no longer content with the way it was, and would loathe to think of what it would become if she were no longer within his reach.

The catalyst that had propelled him to seek privacy now urged him to examine the probability of that alternate path. For sure, he needed her. However, so did Alex and Geoffrey, perhaps even more so. There was nothing he would not do for his family, even if it came to this.

Searching through his memory, he replayed his time with her from the very beginning. So often he had rehearsed that it was done with little effort. As the replay came to finish, sadly, he had to admit that their relationship was inauspicious from the start. Even in their first encounter, they did not see each other eye-to-eye, literally. She was atop the desk while he walked into the main library in Ackerley. In spite of himself, he smiled at that memory. He did not know it then, but that maddening woman had unknowingly bewitched him and since then, he was a man possessed.

What was more, much to his chagrin and against his will, she had etched upon his memories and there she remained. Time and effort had proved futile in erasing her imprint. The day she left Ackerley, while with mixed emotions, he was overjoyed, believing that he was finally rid himself of her. Many months had passed and when he thought that his life had restored to order, only to be plagued by her again when their path crossed one summer day. The pattern did not stop. When he thought that he was free to pursuit his heart's desire, only to be met by the precarious obstacle now demanding his attention. He sucked in a breath of frustration.

Maybe it was the late night February wind, he shivered. He folded his arms across his chest as his resumed. He had made some progress. She had come to know him better. He even felt there was a natural ease between them. Memory of the night he stayed over at her place warmed his frame, and for the second time on that day, a genuine smile graced his handsome face.

Nevertheless, the harsh reality obliterated all fond memories and smiles. It was about time to be honest with himself. He hated to admit it, but he could not deny she showed the slightest inclination towards him. She may be free, but not emotionally, the past still had a hold on her, so much so that she would not give a second thought to a second chance.

Maybe she has not met the right person who could inspire such possibility? Maybe she needs someone strong enough to break down those walls she has constructed around her heart?

He was never vain, but given his many advantages, time and time again had proven that he was being eagerly sought after. Yet, relationship was an elusive thing, he must put everything aside in order to think objectively.

Judging from their relationship, maybe Alex could be the one strong enough to help her to get beyond her past. At his command, he replayed the past. Contrary to his, Alex's dealing with her was promising from the start. He still remembered their mutual appreciation upon first introduction. Over the years, they had seen each other steadily, notwithstanding that it was induced by the friendship among the three youngsters. On the contrary, because of his self-imposed struggle, he had avoided her like a plague. How could she feel anything more than mere friendship towards him?

Frustrated, he paced the length of the brick path as his thought returned to Alex. Like an older brother he never had, Alex always took extra care of him, loving him more than his own brother. Besides, Alex saved his life. On that fateful dark rainy night, his life would have been naught had Alex had not found him when he did. Maybe it was the night wind again, but his hands suddenly felt cold. Trying to stay warm, he put them inside his pockets as he continued with his soul-searching.

So guarded were his feelings towards her that he believed no one could have suspected anything. An intense melancholy took over him as he looked into the distance. The turquoise sky had now turned to the deepest hue of blue and nightfall would soon follow. Like the night, he would simply fade into the darkness. If the two were to be blessed with a second chance, he should be happy for them. Nevertheless, he could not help thinking about the what-might-have-been.

He sighed deeply and shook away that thought. He must convince himself that he and Elyse were never meant to be. All facts pointed to that conclusion. ...And some say love is holding on, and some say let it go...*

Yes, it's time to let go. Alex and Geoffrey would give him the more reason. Thus, the most drastic, self-sacrificing decision was made. His fondest wish now relinquished, he must be at peace with himself.

He began to command his limbs to return to the celebration. Somehow, like all life had drained from him, he never felt wearier. With much effort, he pushed the patio doors and stepped inside. As if to corroborate his resolve, a picture greeted him as soon as his eyes were adjusted to the lighting inside.

With his arms around her, Alex was speaking into Elyse's ears. Her laughter cascaded, causing him to gather her even closer. Standing beside them and laughing along were their respective offspring. One could not help being affected by the happy familial portrait presented.

Darcy tried to look away, but could not. How he wished he were in that picture instead? Alas! It's time to let go! Such sadness, such regret, he had never felt, but so be it! And it would be for the best!

* Perhaps Love (John Denver, first referenced in Chapter 10)
** This I Promise You (N'Sync, selected lyrics)
*** John Greenleaf Whittier

Chapter 27: You Go To My Head

"Be serious, Steve," Elyse riposted. "That will never do, this, I insist, is a far better option." She flipped to that page to emphasize.

"Why? Just because you say so?" Steve taunted, trying to grab the article from her.

"Wait..." Trying to stop him, she lost her balance and crashed onto him. Instinctively, he extended his hands to soften the blow, thereby causing them into a firm embrace. As an aftermath, her face landed on his firm chest.

Embarrassed at the sequent intimate position, they promptly untangled themselves while trying to laugh it off. However, each felt the effect quite differently. Elyse was aghast, since this behavior certainly bordered on the inappropriate ones for the office. Steve felt just as much but he had the added misery of realizing that this brief contact only weakened his resolve towards her.

While the two tried to put away the incident as lightly as possible, for one particular observer who happened to walk by, this was far from amusing. Quite the contrary, Darcy was furious beyond words. Thunderous storms brewed over his dark features. With a grim face, he threw a censuring glare at the offending twosome before marching into his office and shutting the door firmly behind him.

In the seclusion of his office, Darcy continued to brood. This repulsive exhibition only added to the raw effect of that self-sacrificing decision he was still suffering from. It was most certain that his faculties were far from optimum.

Life had been pure hell since the wedding. After he had talked himself into doing the right thing by Alex, only to be presented with such an appalling display. It was absolutely insupportable!

Understandably, Elyse and Steve had developed a good rapport, and he was not oblivious to Steve's tender feelings towards her. However, it was not until now that he had to wonder if the feelings were mutual.

No, he could not accept that! Didn't he broach the subject with her before? She had assured him the negative. Could things have changed since then? Anything was possible, he winced at that thought. Yet, how could she flirt so shamelessly with Steve when she was obviously enjoying Alex's attentions just this past weekend? How could she toy with his cousin's feelings? What sort of game was she playing? Fuming, he gritted his teeth. He must settle this with her. Even if nothing else, he must look out for his cousin.

The incident repeated itself in his mind until he was exhausted. By the end of the day, he knew what he must do. He knew he was about to transverse on delicate ground and his dealing with her would become irrevocable. Nevertheless, blinded by rage and injury, he could see nothing beyond immediate justice.

With the pretense of reviewing some work status, Darcy summoned Elyse to his office. It was not long before he dove into the irate issue. After donning the façade fit for settling the most severe corporate matter, he began.

"As your superior, it's incumbent upon me to bring your attention to our corporate policies from time to time. I'm sure you're aware that every new employee is subject to a six-months probation period." His demeanor and tone dared anyone to challenge his administering.

Elyse felt his preemptory presence most acutely. What could she do but listen? Satisfied with the tone he had set for the meeting, he proceeded.

"Earlier, I chanced upon some questionable behaviors exhibited between you and another employee, and I'd like to express my opinion on that. Clients visit this location frequently. My suggestion to you is to abide by the highest standards of integrity as expected from each and every one of my employees."

Her self-mortification was now renewed. Ashamed, she hung her head and blushed. Although feeling guilty as charged, she also felt the need to explain. Taking advantage of the short pause, she braved herself and offered.

"Not knowing how much you've seen, I can only offer this explanation. It was purely accidental. I lost my balance while trying to retrieve a document from Steve, that was all... "

"Really?" he interrupted curtly, his tone chilly and laced with cynicism. Maybe her unexpected interruption irked him, he could no longer maintain the pretense. Diving into dangerous ground, he suggested, "One can't help but speculate that perhaps it's but typical. After all, habit is second nature. *"

Visibly stunned, she could hardly recognize the formidable creature before her. However, it was obvious that the creature was determined to offend. Feeling victorious at her speechlessness, he charged on.

"Before I continue, I'd like to apologize for what may seem an intrusion of your privacy. But as it matters to me personally, it cannot be helped." He watched for her reaction. Seeing none, he resumed. "Just on my cousin's wedding day alone, it's plain to see that you welcome Alex's attention. Being in the same family, I can't help knowing that he regards you highly. But what of the questionable behaviors you'd just demonstrated earlier? And I thought you have an understanding of what Steve's about. I really question your judgment of the matter." He finished by giving her a dismissive, chilly stare.

Throughout his speech, she winced at each of his accusations. While she was sorry for her unguarded behaviors, however accidental they were, she could not understand what this monstrous creature before her was about. She thought he had wanted to review project status. Why was he discussing personal matters then? Moreover, she found his implication and insinuation unacceptable. Even before he was finished, she had heard enough. Since her courage rose in every attempt to intimidate her, she countered.

"Let me say that I understand your concern in regard to proper office behaviors. You have my words that they'll be attended to. As to Steve, so far, other than being a supportive colleague and a friend, he had done nothing improper by my standards."

"One can hardly blame you for enjoying all the attentions." Not moved, he jibed.

"I beg your pardon?" Shocked, she cried in confusion.

"Look, let me be blunt, which I should've been at the beginning," agitated and impatient, he got up from his chair and stood formidably before her before he resumed pounding. "I will not stand and watch you playing games with Alex. He is much too good a man for that." His mouth hardened and his cold eyes showed no mercy.

"I do not have the pleasure of understanding you!" Outraged, she felt her composure slipping away.

He snorted at what he thought was feigned innocence. Devoid of any rational thoughts by now, he fortified the onslaught with his self-righteousness.

"How explicit can I get? Aren't you dancing between these two men and enjoying every minute of it?" At the beginning of the interview, he conducted it in a quiet suppressed rage. As it progressed, however, he became so emotional tangled that he began to speak more than he should.

Such pure and blinding rage she had rarely experienced in her life. Shocked, humiliated, and furious, she got up abruptly from her seat. She was beside herself. While she tilted her chin and glared at the man in front of her, she blasted.

"I think it's very ungenerous and audacious of you to accuse me of such awful deeds! You're indeed correct in saying you're intruding on my privacy because you have absolutely no right to do so! What if I was dancing between and even among men? Does it matter? Don't you think that Alex and Steve can take care of themselves!" She stopped for a second to catch her breath, but she was not yet finished. Still pinning him with her eyes, she continued to retaliate, "Oh, by the way, you spoke of the highest standards of integrity expected from your employees, I question whether you walk the talk!"

Desperate to find the means to refuel her ammunition, she thought long and hard to find something, anything, to continue her retaliation. She was not disappointed. Memory of his reckless kiss on that fateful night so long ago at Pemberley flooded her mind. This was the fuel she needed! Trying to detonate but with as much dignity as possible, she took a few deep breaths before she delivered the final blow.

"It's really beneath me to behave like you, but based on your accusations, let me give you these parting words. As I said before, Steve has done nothing improper. In fact, he had done less than what you had. Do I know what Steve is all about? Well, for all I know, you could be the one more opted to that sort of activities. If memory served me right, you sure had demonstrated that at one point."

Totally shaken with indignation and disregarding any consequence from her words, she walked out his office with a determined gait. The thunderous and stunned expression on his face was totally lost on her.

After settling Aaron and Aster for the night, alone in her bedroom, Elyse began to reflect on the day's traumatic events. She sat on the chair and looked at the dresser mirror as a defeated woman looked back. Suddenly, a wry smile moved across her face as she remembered the last time she stationed herself this way.

It was another night, after Glen's revolting Revelation, the one that had turned her world completely upside down. Of course, the situations were different, so were the offending agents, yet, both summarily challenged her existence and her beliefs.

Like the Revelation, which shattered her world, this one, the Accusation, shook her to the very core, making her self-confidence, which was precarious to begin with but she had worked so hard to regain, crumple in front of her eyes. She sighed as deep sorrow filled her, knowing that a long night for self-examination was in order.

How dared he? How could he condemn me so?

She had devoted most of her life to Aaron and Aster, especially after what Glen had done and walked out on them. Other than continuing with her education, she had hardly ever thought about herself. After giving all she had and doing all she could, only to be looked upon with such disgust. She broke into tears.

What has gone wrong? What have I done?

The playful behaviors she inadvertently, but nonetheless overtly demonstrated, she did indeed feel deeply mortified. Not to excuse herself, but Steve's similar behaviors did not help either. She reaffirmed herself to keep her behaviors in check while in the office.

He mentioned Alex. Maybe because both being parents, early on, she had found a kindred spirit in Alex but had never felt anything beyond friendship. Then she remembered their conversation at the terrace. At the time, she found his questioning odd. Did he feel or desire something more than friendship? She panicked at that thought. Fortunately, she also remembered the rest of the evening, how Alex had acted his usual self after their little stroll. She was certain that while their admiration was mutual, their relationship was purely platonic, and she was content with that. So, what was Darcy's accusation of her trifling with Alex all about?

He also mentioned Steve. When he poked her about the subject at Ackerley, she thought she had made it perfectly clear. How could he interpret her behaviors as anything remotely resembling flirting then? She was probably one of the least artful women in the world. Otherwise, Glen would not have sought allurement elsewhere.

Just to confirm her belief, she stole a glance at the mirror. Really, what charms and arts did she have that could possibly seduce any sensible man? She could not help giggling a little at that absurdity. With that thought, her giggle turned into a wicked grin. Maybe she should be flattered that he should think so highly of her alluring appeal, that her charms could put all these men under her spell. Her wicked grin now turned into a wicked thought as she wondered whether he had also fallen under her spell. Geez! Get Real! She was now disgusted with her own absurdity.

The unnatural pleasure she found in these diverting thoughts abruptly ended as she thought about the accusations she thrust at him. Although she could not say she really knew him, she had observed him to be an honorable man. With that realization, she was now completely mortified. She did not like the ungenerous words she threw at his face, and above all, she did not like what she saw in herself.

What has gone to my head?

Even when the re-examination of their heated words came to a close, she could not find anything that would give her a clue on the reason of his exhaustive list of vehement accusations. So, what was he about? Suddenly, something obvious, something material dawned on her. Now she thought she knew why.

She had been unguarded. She should have gauged herself more properly by socializing only with those from her circle, a socioeconomic and educational stratum of her own. He was right in looking out for his cousin's best interest. He would not want him to associate with a woman having such a disparity.

She had been getting too comfortable with that portion of the population, which was decidedly beyond her reach. Never had the slightest inclination in climbing the social ladder, she had avoided situations in which she could be perceived as such. She could only suppose that her effort was futile since it was obvious that it had produced the opposite effect.

A weary sigh escaped her. She could forgive him for his outburst out of concerns for Alex, but she could never forgive him for thinking that she was a player of the hearts, especially when she was the victim in such matters.

But, above all, why should I even care about his opinions of me?

She should not be flattered by his attentions, which were strictly professional and obligatory on his part, she should think nothing of them. He was extending the cordiality only because of his cousins and Charlotte. She should have known. She should have trusted her first impressions. She was blind to the real man underneath. She was naïve to believe that a man of his station would ever look upon her more than a casual acquaintance.

As she came to these conclusions, she looked out into the moonless night outside. Somewhat comforted by the stillness of the night, her emotions were finally under control. She proceeded to give the day's events a final view.

She may not be born with privileges, but she would be d-mned to be treated less than she deserved! She may not be the model of etiquette, but she would be d-mned to shrink from his accusations! Yet, even after making these proclamations, she dreaded to face him. She shuddered just remembering the disdain in his eyes. But, the most tangible question remained: Should she walk out of his door for good? Sure, this would provide a sweet release and a quick exit from that hateful man. However, she would be d-mned to be forced into doing such a rash thing! For the sake of Aaron and Aster, and as the provider of her family, sadly she must swallow her pride. Besides, with only one-month experience on this job, it would not reflect well on her work record. If anything else, she would not give him the pleasure of ruining her stellar performance record, which she had worked so diligently to maintain.

What if he was determined to make life difficult for her? By now, her image of the man had turned into some evil creature that roamed only in the deepest, most obscure darkness. She was savvy enough to know that if a superior wanted to make life miserable for you, he surely had the power to do so. However, lacking any immediate option, she must take a day at a time. She resolved to keep all options open. It may not be a bad idea to check up on her old acquaintances just in case moving on became necessary.

Reflections and examinations encircled her mind and exhausted her, and when these were through, just like in the case of the Revelation, she had to accept the fate that was now thrust upon her.

How dared she? No one, not a single one, had ever walked out on me this way!

These words sprung into his mind as she exited his office, her fuming rage matching his. As she disappeared from his sight, he resumed his seat. For how long he had remained that way, he did not know. Everything stood still since that heated exchange. When the rage of emotions had finally calmed down and his rational mind somewhat returned, remorse could not begin to describe how he felt.

What has gone to my head?

He had never imagined he could possibly behaved in such way. Since when had he reduced to such a state in acting so ungentlemanly? Perhaps he should seek her out and apology for some of his unjust words. But his pride would not allow it. It was done, and done for the best. He must do the right thing by Alex, at least he must protect him from her alluring claws.

Yet, her counter accusation about his improper behaviors echoed in his mind, the volume was even louder than when it was spoken. The reminder of his stolen kiss only added to his rage and misery. How dared she to compare him with the likes of Steve? How could she reduce him to that level? He was furious, especially when he had taken great care and pride in conducting his life with honor and integrity.

This only further convinced him that she was unworthy of his regards. How foolish he had been in wasting his time and heartaches over her! He began to wonder why was he so blind all along. He should have known better. He should have known that behind that lovely innocent face was just another variation of the typical alluring females throwing his way and exercising their charms on him.

No, madam, don't waste your charms on me. I've seen enough of your kind. It won't work!

He told himself stoically. By now, he was not thinking straight. He conveniently forgot that if she were what he thought, she would have taken advantage of the numerous opportunities readily available to her.

He surmised that his life must have been sadly in need of diversion. Otherwise, why was he so besotted so easily, and to someone who was so beneath him and so unworthy? He was certain that another one would come along, someone one who would be more deserving of his regards and more suitable to withhold his family honors and traditions.

"Surely, the real one will come along soon enough. I should think of her no more." He thus convinced himself.

The damage was done, that could not be denied. The Accusation had taken a toll on Elyse. She was dispirited. She tried to hide it, but anyone who was closed to her could not help noticing. Steve noticed it even more so when they spent two days at a convention in the West Coast later that week.

Throughout the convention, he eyed warily at her forced jovial demeanor. By the end of the second day, he could not stand it any longer. Determined to find out more, he came to her room that evening. After letting him in, she resumed her seat at the sofa and stared out the windows.

"Hey! Why are the blues?" After taking a seat beside her, he took her hands in his.

"Nothing, just a little tired." She smiled weakly and looked away.

"Want to talk about it?" Not convinced, he grasped her chin gently and turned her face towards his.

She almost groaned while trying to unleash herself. Inquisitions such as these were the last things she needed at the moment. Surprisingly, while his grasp seemed gentle, it was also firm. Her sorrow temporary forgotten, she looked into his face and was surprised to find concerns and determination written all over his handsome features.

They had worked closely and become good friends. Regardless of his personal life, somehow she believed that underneath that flippant façade hid a good heart. Besides, she had never seen him acting less than appropriate towards anyone in the office. While she felt that there was strictly friendship between them, there were times, like now, she sensed he felt a little too warmly towards her. Feeling a little uneasy at that sentiment, she shook her head as a mute response. After successfully released from his hold, she resumed her focus at the windows.

Her silence only increased his agitation. He knew his heart, but he had resolved to put an end to it before it had ever begun. He told himself repeatedly that he had to content with that decision. Yet, he could not just sit there and watch her this way. He felt her misery and wanted to take that away from her. Moreover, he wished that it were within his power to shield her away from pain. With much tenderness, he scooped her up and put her petite form across his lap. Disregarding her protest, he sheltered her inside his strong arms.

"Let it out, let it all out, you'll feel better," he whispered to her ears while kissing the top of her head.

Maybe it was the tenderness in his voice, maybe it was the gentleness in his touch, she sobbed as the tears finally burst through. For how long she had cried, she was uncertain. All she remembered was that he had held her, mumbling sweet, comforting nothingness into her ears. She was not sure, but she felt him kissing her tears away. When the tears finally subsided, she was all worn-out.

When he felt the last of her shudder, he looked down and saw that her eyes were closed. Just as gently, he carried her to the bed. He was about to return to his room when his concern of her made him stay by her side for just a little longer. Sitting at the edge of the bed, he watched her and waited.

After a few restless tosses, she opened her eyes. Still bathed with tears, her eyelashes looked even longer, casting a peculiar glow in her bewitching eyes. That, combined with the vulnerability of her present state, only supersaturated his desire of her.

Something inexplicable exploded within him. As if on his own accord, he lowered his head and captured her mouth with his. The second their lips touched, the sweetness he felt threw his caution to the wind, urging him to continue when he knew he should stop. The floodgate of his pent-up feelings now opened, so was his control as he continued to act upon his feelings. Other than what was the world immediately under, everything around him swirled and moved faster and faster as he continued to unleash his passion. Lost in a world alien to him before, it was not until a push beneath him that finally made him stop.

For a few heart-pounding seconds, they separated. With ragged breath, they stared intently into each other's glazed-over eyes while their escalated passions threatened to take them to similar ground.

In a state of semi-drowsiness, Elyse did not remember how it happened or whether she had resisted. Nonetheless, for a heart-wrenching moment, she had never felt the need to be wanted so badly. She had never felt so lonesome. Even to this day, she was still suffering silently from life's many mishaps. Adding insult to the injury, she was being accused so unjustly. Focusing on her family, she had hardly ever thought of her own happiness. Perhaps it was about time she did! She had never imagined that she would contemplate on what she was about to do, but she was sorely tempted, and to her surprise, her flesh responded and ached for it. Against all reasons and beliefs, her hands found their way behind his neck, willing to lose herself in the anticipated pleasure even if it were but a momentary escape.

They were about to resume when suddenly, the intensity in his dark-blue eyes, flickering as a burning torch, reminded her of the same in a pair of dark-gray ones. The Accusation from that owner pierced through her. Instantly, her hold was released, freeing her from the temptation she thought she had nearly succumbed to.

The heightened color on her cheeks reflected her remorse and shame. The realization of how close she had fallen into the likes of those who were so easily given into moment of weakness, those whom she was so decidedly despised, brought her back to the present.

She bolted up and gripped Steve's shoulders, trying desperately to form some distance between them. Although her eyes were still burning and her breathing was still unsteady, she managed a controlled calmness before she began.

"Steve, it... it's getting late, I... I'd like to retire now, and I think... I think you should too. We've a long day ahead tomorrow." She met his eyes bravely, hoping that that would be enough to steady him.

The interruption was almost too painful for him to bear. Even thought the fierce heat of her touch continued to send sensual messages through his blood, he forced himself to regain some calamity by sucking in a deep breath. While he cursed his lack of self-control, he knew that he could no longer suppress his feelings. She consumed his mind and heart too much. Overwhelmed with passions and emotions, he reached out and traced the outline of her face with his trembling fingers.

"I'm sorry," he said with feelings, "this is probably not the best time for me to tell you this, but I need to let you know that this is not a passing fancy. I love you, and with every hope that you'd let me show you just how much."

There, he said it. There was no turning back. His life would never be the same. His heart now placed on her hand, and it was hers for the taking or breaking.

Elyse was shocked. She could not understand how could she possibly inspire such strong feelings in a man like him. Such a thought had never crossed her mind, and she knew she had never encouraged him in any way. Seeing her surprise, Steve took her hands and rubbed them gently as he continued.

"Your surprise is certainly no less than mine, especially since I've become quite cynical in that aspect of life. I've never intended to get involved with anyone from work. I've tried to stay away." His voice faltered a little as he looked at her with his heart. "But... but with you, I'm no longer the master of my destiny. All I'm asking is that you'd give me a chance."

While watching him thus declared, she was befuddled, not knowing how to react. After Glen, she was convinced that all loving feelings in her heart had died, and that this kind of love was so elusive that she would not recognize it even when it was there. Besides, truth be told, given his reputation and under the circumstance, she was not sure if he meant what he said. But as his life style was really none of her business and that he had been a good friend, he deserved a sensitive reply.

"I'm truly flattered," she said, "perhaps it's not quite the same, but my view of this matter is just as cynical. I'd much prefer to retain our friendship. It's far more enduring and has less chance for regret."

Although he was not surprised at the lack of reception, it still pained him. Freeing one of his hands, he caressed her face tenderly and relived the moment just before they broke apart. He remembered how he had trembled when they kissed, and how his heart had whispered 'I love you' to a woman for the first time in his life. Although they had only kissed and touched, yet, the riot of emotions and the completeness he felt surpassed even the most culminating experience in his past. He had never thought such intensity possible. How he loved her! But he would accept anything she was willing to give. He sighed. Reluctantly, he released her hands after planting a few kisses on them.

"We'll see, we'll see," he whispered, giving no promises to stay away, "Good night, see you in the morning."

It was impossible for Elyse to rest after what had just happened. Many questions demanded answers as sleep continued to elude her.

What has become of me? Do I even know myself?

Putting her hands on her face, she could still feel the residual heat. She was so ashamed, so mortified in knowing how tempted she was, how close she was in succumbing to that moment of weakness. She had prided herself in withholding basic goodness and moral values. However, her actions and behaviors could hardly mirror her conviction. Here was yet another situation questioned the foundation of her values and beliefs. No longer trusting her own judgment, she thought that perhaps Darcy was right on that part of his accusation after all.

This realization was too painful to swallow, but swallow she must. Perhaps it was about time she should look within herself again. She must improve, not only for her own sake, but also for Aaron and Aster. She would not allow anyone to speak lowly of their mother. The time would come when they learned life as it truly was. Cynicism, sarcasm, disillusionment could wait. As much as she could muster, she must avail them the better things in life -- not material things, but intangible things, those that comprised one's fundamental values of goodness, truth, and just.

Sleep also eluded the occupant next door. Once he was in his room, Steve flung himself across the bed.

He knew he had moved too fast. However, with her, he was no longer his own to control. But this much he knew for certain -- he had acted out of his concerns and love of her, love of the purest expression, not of carnal desire, he knew the difference.

What will she think of me now?

He feared that what just happened had either reaffirmed or worsened her poor opinion of him. Unbidden, his father's query returned. "Tell me about her," he had asked. What was there to tell, other than she had gone to his head? Incidentally, that was the tune he played when his father asked that question.

You go to my head and you linger like a haunting refrain
And I find you spinning 'round in my brain
Like the bubbles in a glass of champagne

You go to my head like a sip of sparkling Burgundy brew
And I find the very mention of you
Like the kicker in a julep or two

The thrill of the thought that you might give a thought to my plea
Cast a spell over me
Still I say to myself "get a hold of yourself"
Cant' you see that it never can be

You go to my head with a smile that makes my temperature rise
Like a summer with a thousand Julys
You intoxicate my soul with your eyes

Though I'm certain that this heart of mind
Hasn't a ghost of chance in this crazy romance
You go to my head, you go to my head **

How fitting! He sighed. With his eyes closed, he tried to command the sleep that never came as memory of her lips on his repeated incessantly in his mind. She called to all of his senses, making him want to indulge each of them slowly on their own. He yearned for all of her, her voice, her eyes, her skin, her touch, her kiss, all of which had etched upon his memory. Yet, he faced this yearning alone, the indiscriminate kind that made you love a woman who would probably never love you back.

* Michel Eyquem De Montaigne
** You Go to My Head (Gillespie/Coots)

Continued In Next Section